| How to Break Up with Your Boyfriend Posted: 09 Mar 2018 04:00 PM PST Breaking up is hard! If you're planning to break up with your boyfriend, you may be feeling nervous or unsure. Before having the talk, go over the reasons you want to break up and rehearse what you'll say. When you're ready, do it in person if you can. Be as clear as possible and don't leave things open to interpretation, since this may give him false hope. Try to end with a kind or positive statement before you part ways. EditChoosing a Time and Place to Break Up - Break up with him in person. You and your boyfriend have been through a lot together! The best way to respect your relationship and him is to break up face-to-face. If distance is an issue, plan a video call with him instead. If that's not possible, a phone call is the next best option.[1]
- Avoid breaking up through text or instant messenger, which is hurtful and impersonal. Only resort to a letter or email if you have tried to break up before and he changed your mind.
- If you are in an abusive relationship, breaking up over the phone, through email, or with a letter is okay. Your safety is most important.
- Meet him somewhere that's somewhat private. Ask him to go for a walk with you, or meet up with him at a park or somewhere similar. That way, once it's done, you can go your separate ways. If you invite him over to your house, it may get awkward or he may be reluctant to leave.[2]
- If you are unsure of how he'll react, schedule the meeting in a more public place, like a coffee shop.
- If you're afraid he might have a bad reaction, have a friend come along with you. They can be out of sight, but somewhere in the nearby vicinity, just in case you need them.
- Be considerate when choosing the time of day. Choose a time when both of you can talk in private without distractions. Wait until the end of the day rather than doing it first thing in the morning before he has to face a full day of school or work. If possible, do it on a Friday so that both of you can have the weekend to deal with your feelings privately.[3]
- Don't rush into it or break up with him during a fight. In the heat of an argument, it's easy to say things that you don't mean. Give yourself time to think things over before breaking up with him. You may realize you want to resolve things with him, or your perspective on the situation may change.[4]
- Give yourself a couple days to think things over to be sure breaking up is what you want.
- Don't wait too long or avoid the situation. While it's important to give yourself time to think things over, don't put off the conversation once you're sure it's what you want. Dragging it out will be harder on him in the long-run, or the information may leak out and he ends up hearing the news from someone else.[5]
EditTelling Him How You Feel - Rehearse what you'll say beforehand. Go over what you're planning to say to your boyfriend with someone you trust. Or, you can simply practice by yourself in front of a mirror. Anticipate his reaction and prepare responses based on what you think he'll say.[6]
- Practicing can help you avoid rambling or saying something you regret.
- Keep in mind that no matter how well you prepare, he still may react differently than you expect.
- Get to the point. Breakups are hard enough as it is. Once the conversation has started, there's no reason to drag it out any longer than necessary. Let your boyfriend know that you want to have a serious talk. You might start by saying something like:
- "I've been wanting to talk to you about something."
- "I've been thinking about our relationship and I've made a decision."[7]
- State clearly that you want to break up. Be sensitive but firm with him so that there's no room for interpretation. Don't leave things open-ended or give him false hope. It's often best to very literally state that you want to break up. For instance:
- "So, I want to break up."
- "I want to continue being your friend, but I don't want to be your girlfriend/boyfriend anymore."[8]
- "I'm not happy in our relationship."
- Be straightforward about why you want to break up. Don't be vague or beat around the bush. It's best to tell him why your relationship isn't working in an honest and straightforward way. You might say:
- "I'm not ready for a serious boyfriend right now."
- "This doesn't feel right to me anymore. I'm not happy."
- "We argue more than we have fun together."
- "There's someone else."[9]
- Do not lie to make him feel better about himself. "I just don't have time for a relationship right now" is not a good thing to say if there are more pressing issues you broke up for. This can be seen as a way of leading him on. He may keep contacting you in hopes of getting back together.
- Tell him that you're sorry if this hurts. Even though you want to be very clear that you're breaking up with him, it's still best to explain that you're sorry if the situation hurts. Try to put yourself in his shoes and imagine how he might be feeling. You could say:
- "I'm sorry if this hurts to hear."
- "I'm sorry if this hurts you."
- "I know this may be difficult to hear and I'm sorry about that."[10]
- Hear him out. More than likely, your ex will have some remarks after you do the deed. Be respectful and actively listen to what he has to say. Let him say what he needs to, but if he starts to beg or try to get you to change your mind, firmly restate your choice. Then, tell him you think it's time for you to leave.[11]
- If he becomes rude or violent, say, "I don't feel safe, so I'm leaving." As you're leaving, call a friend and let them know what's happening.
- End the conversation with a kind or positive statement. Wrap things up quickly, but try to end on a positive note. Try so say something that you honestly feel rather than just saying something to be nice or to make a quick getaway. You might say something like:
- "I'll always remember the special times we shared."
- "Whoever you go out with next will be lucky to have someone like you."
- "I know we'll always care about each other."
- "I'm so glad we got to know each other."[12]
EditMoving On - Cut off contact with him. After you've parted ways, limit any chances of either of you reaching out. Return any items of his promptly to eliminate any reason to make contact down the road. Then, remove his contact info from your phone and delete him as a "friend" on social media.[13]
- Make sure you make it a clean break. Don't get sucked into talking with him again to make him feel better. This may convince him that he has a chance of getting back together with you.
- Give him some space. If you would like to remain friends, give him some time before bringing that up or approaching him about it. It's unreasonable to expect that right away, especially if he was blindsided by the breakup. It might also be a good idea to avoid places where he normally hangs out, at least for a while.[14]
- Keep any unavoidable interactions short and sweet. If you and your ex continue to be on speaking terms, you should still tread carefully early on. Too much contact may make him think there's an opportunity to rekindle the romance. Keep any contact brief and to-the-point.[15]
- For instance, if you see him socially in a group, you might say "Hi" and then find a seat near some other friends to limit conversation opportunities.
- Make sure that you do not ask him about his personal life or tell him about yours during any interactions that you have with him.
- Get support from your family and friends. Just because you initiated the breakup doesn't mean you aren't hurting. Spend time with supportive friends and tell them how you're feeling. Vent if you need to! Family members may also serve as a source of support after your breakup.[16]
- For example, you could have a movie night with your best friends. Choose lighthearted or comedy films to keep things upbeat.
- Go to brunch with a parent or sibling. Vent if you need to, or just spend some quality time catching up.
- Change up your routine with new activities and new people. Ending a relationship can leave an empty hole in your everyday life where you once spent so much time with the other person. Switch things up by adding new activities to your schedule and doing a few things differently.[17]
- For instance, if you used to walk to class with your boyfriend, you might start walking with a new group of friends.
- Try joining a club or organization. Check out new restaurants or parks. Fill your calendar with exciting activities and social events.
- Spend more time on your hobbies, or start a new one that has always interested you. For example, you could take a cooking class, join a recreational sport, or audition for a play.
- Give yourself time before dating again. After a breakup, you'll want to give yourself time to grieve the relationship before moving on to a new one. Use this time to practice self-care, evaluate what went wrong in the previous relationship, and prepare yourself to get back out there. Dating too soon could be unfair to the new person, if you haven't fully healed.[18]
- You are ready to date again when you can calmly and realistically discuss your ex and the old relationship and take ownership for your role in its end.
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| How to Do More Pull Ups Posted: 09 Mar 2018 08:00 AM PST Pull ups are perhaps the best exercise out there for improving your upper body strength, but they can be incredibly difficult to do when you're just starting out. Thankfully, with some hard work and dedication, you can get better at performing pull ups and increase how many you can do, even if that number is currently 0. EditPerfecting Your Form - Warm up for 5-10 minutes before you start. Warming up will get your blood flowing and help prevent injury. To warm up, do some cardio exercises like walking or jogging. You should also do some active stretching, like arm circles or arm swings.
- Set your shoulders and arch your back. If pull ups are hard for you, it may feel natural to "scrunch up" your body while performing them. This can put extra stress on your neck and back muscles, making the entire workout process harder. To avoid this, set your shoulders by pushing them back and keep your spine arched.[1]
- Use the muscles in your back, not just your arms. For those who don't know any better, pull ups may seem like the ultimate test of arm strength. However, your back muscles are just as important, if not more so. To make your workout easier and more effective, try to use the muscles on your back and around your armpits to help pull yourself up.[2]
- Specifically, try to engage your latissimus dorsi muscles ("lats") and rear deltoids ("delts").
- Cross your legs while working out. When performing your pull ups, try crossing your legs close to the ankles. Though it may seem unimportant, this can reduce some of the pressure in your arms and will make it easier to maintain proper form while exercising.[3]
- When crossing your legs, you can either bend your knees or keep them straight. Neither will affect the overall routine, so choose whichever option feels best.
- Perform assisted pull ups if you're struggling. Assisted pull ups will allow you to perform the same basic motions you would for an ordinary pull up, but with a little extra help so you can more easily complete the exercise. Since these closely mimic actual pull ups, they're great for getting your form right before you attempt the real thing. You can do assisted pull ups by:[4]
- Using a pull up machine.
- Looping a resistance band around the bar and your foot to support some of your weight.
- Standing on a stool with one foot.
- Asking a partner to hold your feet or legs while you workout.
EditPushing Yourself - Vary the type of pull up you do. Even the most basic up-and-down pull ups have several different variations that you can switch between as you please. These different styles make use of slightly different muscles, meaning you may be better at 1 than the other. Some styles you can try include:
- Standard style: Grab the bar with an overhand grip and keep your hands shoulder-width apart. Then, use slow, steady motions to bring your chest close to the bar.[5]
- Neutral style: Grab 2 parallel bars that are between apart, making sure the palms of your hands face each other. Then, pull yourself up until your chest is as level with the bars as possible.[6]
- Chin up style: Grab a bar with an underhand grip and keep your hands about a shoulder-width apart. Then, slowly squeeze your biceps to bring your chin closer to the bar.[7]
- Add negative pull ups to your routine. Negative pull ups are basically the second half of an actual pull up: start with your chin above the bar and your chest as close to the bar as possible, then lower yourself down as slowly as you can. These are less intense than full pull ups, so try using them as a warm up exercise to get you ready for the real deal.[8]
- Make sure you start at the "up" position every time.
- Aim to do 1 more pull up during each workout. Every time you start a new workout session, remember how many pull ups you did last time and aim to do at least 1 more this time. Though it may seem impossible to accomplish when you feel tired and exhausted, push yourself and keep trying until you literally can't hold onto the bar any longer.[9]
- In addition to your individual workout goal, try setting a long term pull up goal for extra motivation.
- You don't have to measure your success in full pull ups! If you find yourself struggling, try to do another half or quarter pull up each time.
- Perform your pull up routine 2 to 3 times a week. Though changing your form or techniques can make the process easier, dedication is the only sure-fire way to reach your pull up goals. The more you practice, the stronger you'll get and, ultimately, the more reps you'll be able to do. For a balanced yet focused pull-up regimen, try doing 3 or 4 sets of pull ups between 2 and 3 times per week.[10]
- To give your arm and back muscles time to rest, make sure to take at least 1 day off between pull up sessions. If you'd like, use this time to work on your core or lower body.
EditGaining Strength and Energy - Do back and arm strengthening exercises. Pull ups use a lot of upper body muscles, so exercising each of those muscles individually can make your primary workout routine far easier. Before performing your standard pull up sets, try doing some of the following exercises:[11]
- Lat pull downs: Sit at a pull down machine, grab the bar with a shoulder-width grip, and slowly pull it down toward your collarbone. Keep your shoulders back and your arch your torso slightly backward. This exercise will strengthen your upper back and lats.
- Bicep curls: Hold a dumbbell with both hands, then squeeze your biceps to move the weight up and down.
- Seated rows: Sit in front of a weighted rowing machine and bring the handle bars toward your waist line using slow, even movements. This exercise will strengthen your lats and back.
- Prone reverse fly: Lay on a bench face down with a dumbbell in each hand, then raise the dumbbells out to your sides and lower them back down. This exercise is great for your deltoids.
- Eat a lean, wholesome diet. To help yourself get big, strong pull up muscles, try to eat a balanced diet filled with lean protein, nutritious carbohydrates, and healthy fats. Though this change of diet may sound unpleasant, there are plenty of tasty, nutritious, and muscle-building foods you can still eat. A few examples include:[12]
- Proteins like chicken breast, lean cuts of beef and pork, lentils, beans, milk, eggs, and fish.
- Good carbs like whole wheat grains, bread, pasta, quinoa, barley, and bulgur.
- Healthy fats like nuts, avocados, olives, tofu, and soy products.
- Do aerobic activities and eat less if you are overweight. Pull ups are a body weight exercise, so the heavier you are, the more difficult they will be. If you have lots of weight in the form of fat, it can be nearly impossible to do a pull up no matter how strong you are. To fix this, try tracking your calories to make yourself eat less and do fat-burning aerobic activities like running, dancing, and swimming.
- Get a full night's sleep before and after each workout. If you're not getting enough rest, you'll find it hard to build the strength you need to do lots of pull ups. Your body needs rest both before and after strenuous workouts, so try to get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night.[13]
- Working out right before you go to bed can make it hard to fall asleep, so try to exercise at least 3 hours before your normal bedtime.
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| How to Curl Hair with Chopsticks Posted: 09 Mar 2018 12:00 AM PST If you want a new way to rock a cute hairdo then these easy chop curls are the way to go. This method is suitable for all hair types and textures and works great for when you wanna spice up your look. EditHeatless Chopsticks Curls - Wash your hair. Lather up some shampoo and massage it into the scalp for a minute or two to promote blood flow. Saturate the ends of the hair with conditioner and leave it for five to ten minutes before rinsing out.
- Remove knots and tangles. Start combining the hair from the bottom to the top with a wide tooth comb to remove knotted hair.
- Grab some chopsticks. The amount of chopsticks needed depends on how curly you want your hair to be. Use more chopsticks for voluminous tight curls and fewer chopsticks for loose curls.
- Wrap your hair around the chopstick. Grab a big or small section of hair and twirl it around the chopstick just like you would with a normal curling iron.
- Secure with a clip or a small hair tie. Once the hair is around the chopstick, use a hair tie or hair clip to prevent it from unraveling.
- Continue throughout the entire head. Repeat the process until all the hair is wrapped with chopsticks.
- Allow to dry. If you decide to wait overnight, wear something to protect the hair. Be extremely cautious as the hair may unravel; you can also wait by doing chores around the house.
- Remove the chopsticks. Once the hair is completely dry, remove the chopsticks gently by taking out the tie or clip. Continue this process until all the chopsticks are out of the hair.
- Style your hair and add accessories. Use any desired hair products and decide how you want to rock your new curls by leaving your hair down. Do a high pony, part your hair or even do a "half up, half down" style or add a pretty bow.
EditChopstick Curls with Heat - Heat a flat iron. Plug in a flat iron and wait until it's hot enough to use.
- Wrap your hair around the chopstick. Grab a big or small section of hair, then twirl it around the chopstick just like you would with a normal curling iron.
- Press the flat iron onto the wrapped hair. Hold the flat iron onto the hair for a few seconds, making sure all the hair has been touched by the flat iron.
- Gently remove the chopstick. Pull the chopstick carefully out of the hair.
- Continue until all hair is curled. Repeat the same process throughout the whole head.
- Style as usual. Use any desired hair products to achieve your wanted look.
- Both metal and wooden chopsticks will work to achieve these curls.
- Make sure your hair is damp when doing the heatless curls, but also make sure it's not soaking wet; if it is, it will take a long time to dry.
- Wrap the hair tightly around the chopstick for a tighter curl, and wrap it looser for a loose curl.
- Avoid running your fingers through your hair too much, as this will ruin the curls.
- Have a spray bottle filled with water to spray your hair with. Do this if it dries when doing the heatless curls.
- These curls can also work on doll hair too.
- Have someone else do these curls for you if you need support.
- Always use a heat protectant before using heat on hair to prevent damage.
EditThings You'll Need - Chopsticks
- Shampoo
- Conditioner
- Comb
- Hair ties/Hair clips
- Flat iron
- Hair accessories (optional)
EditSouces and Citations |
Breakup Opening Lines
Coping with Negative Reactions to a Breakup
Sample Ways to Get Over a Breakup
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