| How to Stop Fighting With Your Brother or Sister Posted: 23 Mar 2018 05:00 PM PDT Fights between siblings are inevitable, even if they can be frustrating. If you and your sibling want to stop fighting, there are a few strategies you can try before, during, and after a fight. You may be family, but with a little effort, you can get along like friends! EditPreventing a Fight - Put yourself in your brother or sister's shoes, if they are frustrating you. Before you fight, think about why your sister may be in a bad mood. Ask yourself what you may have done to upset your brother. Maybe their frustrations are unrelated, or maybe you did something to upset them but don't realize it. Understanding how your sibling feels will help prevent an argument from happening.
- Talk about what is upsetting you with your sibling. Start a conversation so they understand why you are upset. Always talk nicely and calmly rather than raising your voice. Listen closely to what your sibling has to say. Make sure you let your sibling talk to you about their feelings too.[1]
- If your sister says something to you, pay attention to her, rather than the TV or your cell phone. This will make your sister feel like you care.
- Avoid bringing up things you know will start a fight, like your brother's report card grades, or your sister's dumb new boyfriend.
- Create a system to prevent repeated fights from occurring. After you talk about what is upsetting you, come up with a plan so that you can reduce the number of fights you have. Brainstorm a few healthy solutions, and decide upon a few options with your sibling.
- Maybe your system is taking turns choosing the TV show. Perhaps it works best for you to write out what you agree upon in a contract.
- If you want to use the bathroom to get ready for school, ask your brother if he could shower at night instead of in the morning. If he doesn't agree, maybe try showering at night yourself or try waking up 15 minutes earlier.
- Pause and relax so you don't make the fight worse, if they are annoying. Calm yourself down by taking a few deep breaths or counting to 10. This will help you keep your cool. When you start to get defensive, most likely your sibling will too. Take a time-out, relax for a bit, and then come back to the conversation. [2]
- Pause for 5 seconds or 5 minutes--however long you need.
- If it helps, designate a cool off period and give each other space. Pause your conversation, and give each other some space. Work out your emotions individually rather than taking them out on each other.
- If you are having trouble relaxing, try listening to music or taking a walk. This will distract you and give you something else to think about, so you can come back and talk to your sibling calmly.
- If you want to do somthing nice for them, and help you both calm down, bring a family pet to the couch, or some other neutral area, and talk there, where you both have a calming influence, in this case a pet, to cool the flames.
- Ignore obnoxious or rude comments to prevent a fight. Siblings bicker, it's part of the job. But, if your brother says something rude or obnoxious, try to ignore it and let it go. If you fuel his fire, then an argument might spark.
- Instead of telling him he is an idiot, just don't say anything at all.
- If your sister teases you about your new shoes, just ignore her.
- If ignoring your sibling doesn't get them to stop, calmly and nicely say something like, "Hey, can you please stop that?"
EditSeeking Resolution - Apologize to your sibling. It is best to apologize as the fight is happening, though apologize as soon as you can. Rather than lashing back, take responsibility for your behavior and apologize. If you did something wrong, apologize for what you did. If you are not in the wrong, you can still apologize to cool down the situation.[3]
- You will feel much better after you apologize.
- If you want to stop fighting with your brother or sister, remember that your goal is not to win an argument, but rather to get along.
- Say something like, "Hey Matt, I don't want to fight. I'm sorry I was bored and started bothering you" or "I apologize for anything I've done."
- Use "I" statements to talk about your feelings. Identify what is upsetting you, and tell your sibling how you feel. Start your sentence with "I feel," and mention your thoughts and feelings involving the fight. "I" statements help you prevent future arguments by openly discussing your feelings.[4]
- Say something like, "Courtney, I feel really hurt that you are fought with me about borrowing your shirt. I asked for it before I took it."
- You can also say, "I feel angry when you to make fun of me, even after I ask you to stop."
- Think back to past fights and look for repeating behavior patterns. Think back on your last few arguments with your brother or sister. Are these fights similar at all? Can you think of any common themes or feelings? Looking at how you handled something before may give you an idea about why you are fighting now.[5]
- Consider the last time you and your brother fought over the TV remote. Why does this keep happening? Because you don't agree on what to watch, or because you want to be the one to choose?
- Maybe you continue to fight with your siblings because neither of you think you are wrong, when if you realized you were the one who started the argument first, you could stop the fight from happening.
- Reach a solution together in case the fight happens again. Talk about ways you can prevent this from happening again, like telling a joke or maybe leaving each other alone. Find what works for the both of you and commit to trying these solutions.[6]
- Maybe you are upset with your brother because he teases you and calls you names, so every time you talk, you are defensive. Agree together that he will stop calling you names, and let go of the expectation that he will be mean to you. Then, you can both have fun together at the park
- Ask your parents for help, if you need to. If you and your sibling continue to fight, or if you can't reach a conclusion, it is time to get Mom or Dad involved. They can offer a voice of reason and help you talk out the problem. Ask them for help, and they can offer ways to solve your fighting.[7]
- Say something like, "Dad, Ashley won't stop changing the channel when I am watching cartoons. I have asked her to stop nicely but she won't. Can you help?"
EditMaintaining Your Relationship - Respect your sibling's personal space and privacy. You are family, though that doesn't mean you should know everything about each other's personal lives. Be respectful of personal space, like bedrooms, journals, or cell phones. [8]
- Remembering your sibling's boundaries will show them your love and respect.
- Don't read their journal or snoop around in their room when they aren't home.
- Express your emotions and feelings in healthy ways. When you feel angry or upset, you will likely start a fight. Work on your emotions in healthy ways rather than taking them out on the people close to you.[9]
- Try venting to a friend or to your parent about what is on your mind. This will get rid of your feelings so you don't carry them with you next time you talk to your brother.
- If your really angry with your brother, rather than yelling at him, try writing a letter. This is a safe place for you to vocalize your true feelings, without maybe saying harsh things to him right away. After you've written your letter, you'll be able to discuss your feelings calmly.
- Do something nice for your sibling to show you love and care for them. It's easy to forget your sibling's friendship if you're stuck fighting all the time. Show your brother or sister you appreciate them by doing something nice, for no reason. It's easy to take your family for granted.[10]
- You can do things like buy them ice cream or a coffee when you running errands. Also try things like playing their favorite game together, or buy them a new coloring book or magazine.
- Spend meaningful time together, as often as you can. Whether you share a room with your sibling or you live across the country from each other, it's important to spend time together when you can. Spend time together that is positive and fun, rather than spent arguing. This will strengthen your relationship and you are less likely to fight.[11]
- Do an activity you both enjoy, like playing golf, walking in the park, or watching a sci-fi movie.
- Build trust by following through with your commitments. If you tell your brother that you will stop teasing him, do it. Be accountable to what you agree upon, and your sibling will start to trust you. Trust is important to maintain healthy relationships and prevent fights.
- If you both agree your fights are starting because you want to be the boss, stop ordering around your sibling and let them make decisions.
- If your sister doesn't trust you because you always shoot her with your Nerf gun, try shooting a stationary target outside instead.
- Be nice to your siblings, even if they aren't nice to you.
- Compliment your siblings to build trust.
- Try to realize everyone reacts to situations very differently. What one does in jest may truly cause hurt feelings.
- If you accidentally say something very mean to your sibling, apologize right away.
- If you are having trouble getting along with your sibling, try talking to your mom or dad about it.
- Don't gossip about your sibling or else you will break their trust.
- Solve the problem with your words, not violence. Talk calmly and nicely, and never hurt your siblings.
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| How to Lose Birth Control Weight Posted: 23 Mar 2018 09:00 AM PDT Gaining weight is a fairly common (and annoying) side effect of some methods of birth control. If you find yourself packing on the pounds after starting a new birth control routine, you might need to take some action. You can try exercising regularly and eating a balanced diet to help minimize the water weight your body may be retaining. You can also try talking to your doctor about your symptoms, or even switching to another form of birth control with fewer hormonal side effects. EditMaking Dietary Changes - Eat a balanced diet. One of the most common causes of added weight after beginning a birth control regimen is water weight, especially during the initial period when your body is still adjusting to the new medication. Eating a balanced diet can help you lose this water weight and lead a more healthy life in general.[1]
- Eat a healthy mix of vegetables, fruits, grains, protein, and low-fat dairy every day.[2]
- Eat foods that are high in fiber and lean protein. A diet that's high in fiber and lean protein may help you lose weight or increase your current weight loss. The diet may also help lower blood pressure and improve cardiovascular health.[3] Aim to eat of protein and of fiber every day.[4]
- High-fiber foods include raspberries, pears, apples, whole wheat grains, and broccoli.[5]
- Lean protein foods include salmon and chicken breasts.
- Steer clear of high-sodium foods. Sodium can increase your fluid retention and water weight, which leads to weight gain. In addition to drinking water to flush your system, avoid foods that are especially high in sodium like:[6]
- Salted nuts
- Canned food
- Smoked or salted meat (such as bacon or ham)
- Cold cuts
- Soy sauce
- Fast food items like chips or french fries
- Increase your water intake. Though it may seem counterintuitive, one of the best ways to reduce water weight is by staying hydrated. Drinking plenty of water can help you shed water weight by keeping your fluid levels in balance.[7]
- Women should drink at least of water every day.
- Avoid drinks that can dehydrate you, like alcohol.
EditLosing Weight Through Lifestyle Changes - Get at least 7 hours of sleep each night. Sleeping is one of the most important things you do to take care of your body – and it helps with weight loss too! Staying well-rested will lead to more calories burned, more fat lost, and even less late-night snacking.[8]
- There are many other added bonuses to getting enough sleep including increased focus and concentration levels, higher energy levels, and better decision making skills.
- Eat more slowly. It takes your brain about 20 minutes to catch up with your stomach. This means that you will actually be full before your brain is able to communicate that with you. If you eat more slowly, this will help you avoid overeating and it will give your brain more time to communicate your level of fullness to the rest of your body.[9]
- If you struggle with this, try chewing your food more thoroughly. Chew each bite a certain several times before swallowing. It may help to count the bites at first until your body adjusts to eating more slowly.
- Avoid eating when you're distracted — it's easier to overeat if you're not paying attention to what you're eating.
- Exercise for at least 30 minutes on most days of the week. Exercising will help you lose water weight by increasing your sweat levels, which means your body is expelling water. You will also shift some of your body's water content into the muscles, rather than letting it remain outside the cells. Cardio and weight training are the best ways to lose weight. Try alternating your workouts between these two methods – cardio one day, weight training the next.[10]
- Try doing some form of moderate to vigorous cardio exercise for at least 30 minutes 3 times per week. Running, cycling, rowing, and swimming are all forms of cardio you can do.
- Do weight training exercises for 30 minutes 3 times a week, like weighted squats, deadlifts, and leg presses.
- If you don't currently exercise, try making a commitment to work out once a week and building from there.
- Weigh yourself every day, or as often as possible. Weighing yourself frequently will allow you to observe weight changes and pinpoint potentially problematic behavior. People who weigh themselves more frequently are more in-tuned with changes in their weight, and are more likely to take preventative measures.[11]
- Weigh yourself at the same time every day (preferably first thing in the morning) for the most consistent results.
- It's normal for your weight to fluctuate from day to day, especially during menstruation.
- Keep a diet, exercise, and weight journal. In order to be able to report your symptoms accurately to your doctor, you should keep a journal that records all of the relevant details. Write down everything you eat each day, when you exercise and for how long, and how much you weigh.[12]
- You can also use an app, like MyFitnessPal, to keep track of what you're eating and how much you're exercising.
- There are also quite a few online tracking apps that allow women to enter information about their menstrual cycle, along with other symptoms related to their cycle.
- This will be a handy tool to refer back to during a conversation with your doctor.
EditTalking to Your Doctor - Monitor your body for changes after making birth control changes. Whenever you start a new medical treatment, you should always be vigilant about noticing any changes your body might undergo. Watch out for emotional and physical responses that may occur as a result of the new medication, as birth control methods commonly induce these types of side effects. Making note of these changes will help prepare you for a conversation with your doctor.[13]
- Try to notice any mood swings, anxiety, physical pains, changes in appearance, weight gain, or other symptoms.
- Talk to your doctor about birth control options with lower estrogen levels. Sometimes weight gain is associated with high levels of estrogen in birth control methods. If you experience weight gain while taking birth control precautions, you might want to consider switching to another method, or to a lower dose of estrogen.[14]
- There are quite a few birth control pills that offer low doses of estrogen.
- Ask your doctor about birth control options that don't cause weight gain. You could also consider asking your doctor about an IUD or another kind of implant. These methods typically don't contain any estrogen at all, and the effects of the birth control are localized to your reproductive area, rather than distributed throughout your entire body via your bloodstream.[15]
- While the Depo-Provera shot also doesn't contain any estrogen, weight gain is a very common side effect of this type of birth control.
- Ask your doctor to test you for insulin sensitivity. Some birth control methods affect a woman's sensitivity to insulin. This means that calories obtained from digesting carbohydrates cannot be converted to energy for your body. Ask your doctor to check your insulin levels whenever you go in for a checkup (or make a specific appointment to check your insulin levels if you are concerned).[16]
- Over time, insulin sensitivity can evolve into diabetes if proper precautions are not taken. Make sure that you eat a healthy diet and watch your insulin levels to prevent this from happening.
- Discuss your concerns with your doctor if weight gain continues. If you are still struggling with weight gain after starting a new birth control method and trying to manage it on your own, make an appointment with your doctor to discuss the situation. You'll need to outline any symptoms you've been having, explain what measures you've already taken on your own, and discuss possible solutions.[17]
- Be sure to mention the weight gain you've been experiencing.
- If you have any written records of your calorie intake or weight changes, bring it with you so that the doctor can look over it.
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| How to Cope with Nicotine Withdrawal Posted: 23 Mar 2018 01:00 AM PDT If you have been a smoker for a while, you may experience nicotine withdrawal symptoms—intense cravings, headaches, anger, trouble sleeping, and even anxiety or depression—when you attempt to quit.[1] These undesirable side effects of quitting may tempt you to pick the habit back up. But, if you seek support, come up with a plan to deal with triggers, and practice good self-care, the symptoms will eventually subside. Hold out and give it time— you'll get through withdrawal and be smoke-free sooner than you think! EditSeeking Help - Consult with your doctor before quitting. Withdrawal symptoms can be uncomfortable, so talk with your healthcare provider to develop a plan. Withdrawal is not usually dangerous, however, doing it under medical supervision can make the process easier and offer needed guidance if you have certain health conditions (like depression) that may exacerbate the effects of withdrawal.[2]
- Ask your doctor to run tests for major health markers, like cholesterol and blood pressure. You might find that your results improve after stopping, which can motivate you to stay smoke-free.
- Your doctor can also help you come up with a plan for controlling weight gain that may occur after quitting.
- Know what to expect. Ask your doctor and read up on nicotine withdrawal, so you'll know what sort of symptoms and effects you might experience. Some common signs of nicotine withdrawal include:[3]
- Dizziness
- Intense nicotine cravings
- Increased appetite or a greater desire to snack
- Trouble sleeping
- Sickness resembling the common cold or flu
- Gastrointestinal distress such as constipation
- Consider nicotine replacement therapy. Replacement products and medications may ease your withdrawal symptoms and help you stick to being smoke-free. Ask your doctor which products may be right for you.[4]
- Nicotine replacement therapy may come in the form of patches, gum, or prescription inhalers or sprays that reduce cravings.
- As your withdrawal symptoms fade and you adjust to not smoking, you can work with your doctor to gradually taper off nicotine replacement therapy.
- Join a smoking cessation support group. Having support during this time is vital, so sign up for a group in your local community. In these groups, you might hear others' stories and get practical tips on dealing with withdrawal.[5]
- Smoking cessation groups may be sponsored by local hospitals, clinics, libraries, and churches. Ask your doctor for a recommendation.
- Get help from a behavioral therapist. A behavioral therapist can help you develop strategies and lifestyle changes for coping with your nicotine withdrawal. They can also work with you to better understand your motivation for giving up smoking, which can help you stay on track.
- Access resources that inspire you to stop smoking. Take advantage of resources that offer tips and inspiration to quit smoking and help you better understand the withdrawal process. For instance, you might call a quitline to get support or join a quit program online.
- Connect with the national quitline at 1-800-QUIT-NOW.
- You can sign up for a text messaging program called Smoke-free TXT to get around the clock encouragement and support. Visit https://smokefree.gov/smokefreetxt to sign up.
EditDealing with Triggers - Meditate or practice yoga in the morning. If you reach for a cigarette immediately after waking, try doing mindful exercises. Spending 15 to 20 minutes doing a meditation or yoga practice can help pass the time until cravings fade, and put you in a great mood for the day ahead.[6]
- You can also try these activities in the evening to promote relaxation and improve your sleep.
- Use deep breathing to battle stress and anxiety. Stress triggers nicotine cravings and reduces your ability to appropriately deal with those cravings. Keep your stress at bay by practicing deep breathing periodically throughout the day.[7]
- Draw in air slowly through your nose for about 4 counts. Hold the breath for 7 counts, and then release it through pursed lips for 8 counts.
- Deep breathing can also help you battle anxiety and help you drift off to sleep more easily at night.
- Chew gum or suck on peppermint to ease after-dinner cravings. When cravings strike after meals, keep gum or hard candies nearby. Chewing or sucking on gum or candy keeps your mouth busy until the craving passes.[8]
- Preoccupy yourself to fight off boredom. If you tend to smoke when you're bored or waiting, keep yourself preoccupied. Bring along puzzle books or play a game on your phone in waiting rooms to avoid going outside for a smoke. Listen to an audiobook during your high-traffic commute.[9]
- If you miss the feel of a cigarette between your fingers, try toying with a fidget spinner instead.
- Pick up some new hobbies. Having hobbies that you enjoy doing can help distract you from wanting to smoke. Look for hobbies that will keep you active and healthy, like running, cycling, martial arts, sports, and swimming.
- Steer clear of smokers whenever possible. Seeing others lighting up may make it extremely difficult to resist, so try to avoid smokers, especially in the early days (the first several weeks). Also, be sure to voice your goal of quitting so others don't invite you outside for a smoke break.[10]
- Instead of taking a smoke break, consider calling a friend, walking around the block for some fresh air, or watching a funny or inspiring YouTube video.
- Avoid places where you used to smoke a lot, like bars or the smoker's courtyard at work.
EditSupporting Your Health - Eat a nutrient-rich diet. Choose healthier foods to support your body during nicotine withdrawal. Go for whole foods that offer an abundance of nutrients, like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean sources of protein, and nuts and seeds.[11]
- Remove processed, fast, or junk foods from your diet that may trigger cravings because they offer a short-term blood sugar spike that causes more hunger when it later drops again.
- Be sure to monitor your calorie intake in general since you'll likely have the desire to eat more.
- Ask your doctor to help you figure out which calorie range you need to be in to maintain your weight.
- Avoid alcohol and caffeine until you get cravings under control. Alcohol, coffee, or tea may have previously gone hand-in-hand with smoking, so lay off these for a while. Instead, reach for energizing beverages like water or decaf green tea.[12]
- Once withdrawal symptoms fade and you feel capable of dealing with cravings, you might occasionally enjoy alcohol or caffeine again.
- Get 7 to 9 hours of rest nightly. Your body needs plenty of sleep to combat withdrawal symptoms. Create a relaxing sleep routine in which you shut off devices early and do something soothing like reading, journaling, or listening to music.[13]
- If your sleep is seriously disturbed during withdrawal, speak with your doctor. They may suggest an over-the-counter sleep aid to help.
- Carve out 30 minutes for daily exercise. Staying active supports your overall health and wellness, but it can also be an effective distraction against nicotine cravings. Make time for a daily workout such as swimming, running, or strength training.[14]
- Exercise also releases endorphins that may combat the anxiety and low mood associated with withdrawal.
- If you're having a hard time coping with your nicotine withdrawal and you'd like to speak with a smoking cessation counselor, call the toll-free number 800-784-8669 (800-QUIT-NOW).[15]
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