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How to Set up a Backgammon Board

Posted: 08 May 2022 01:00 AM PDT

A basic game of backgammon is easy to set up, but it helps to understand the layout of the board and all of its parts before you start laying out your checkers. Backgammon is a fun strategy game with several different variations to help you get tons of use out of your backgammon set. But if you want to know how to play the exciting game of backgammon, the first thing you have to know is how to set it up.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Set Up

  1. Understand the backgammon board. It's important to understand the basics of the backgammon board before you begin to put your checkers on it. Here is what you need to know before you begin to set up your board:[1]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 1 Version 5.jpg
    • The board has 24 narrow triangles called points.
    • The triangles alternate in color and are grouped into four quadrants of six triangles each.
    • The board's four quadrants include player one's home board, player one's outer board, player two's home board, and player two's outer board.
    • The home boards are opposite each other. The outer boards, located in the left half (or in the alternative setup in the right half), are also opposite each other.
    • The triangles are numbered from 1-24. The 24-point is the point that is further from each player, on the leftmost side of the player's opponent's home board, and the 1-point is the rightmost triangle on the player's home court.
    • Each player's points are numbered in an opposite way. One player's 24-point is the opponent's 1-point, one player's 23 point is another player's 2-point, and so on.
  2. Have each player take his or her 15 checkers. It's easier to set up a backgammon board if each player sets up his or her own checkers. Each player should have a set of checkers that is all one color. Checkers are usually white and brown or black and red, but it really doesn't matter as long as there are two different colors of checkers.[2]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 2 Version 4.jpg
  3. Take two checkers and put them on your 24-point. Since the game is played in a horseshoe fashion, this point will be the "furthest" away from the home board. The 24-point is the closest point to one player on the left side of his board and on the right side for the other player. Keep in mind that as the players set up their checkers, the checkers should always create mirror images of one another.[3]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 3 Version 4.jpg
  4. Position five checkers on your 13-point. The 13-point will be on the same side of the board as the 24-point, the rightmost point on each player's opponent's side. If you want to be sure that you are putting them in the right spot, count backwards from where you placed the 2 checkers on the 24-point until you reach the 13-point.[4]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 4 Version 4.jpg
  5. Put three checkers on your 8-point. The 8-point will be on the same side of the board as each player's home board, just two spaces away from the central bar. But again, if you want to be sure that you are placing the checkers in the right place, count backwards from where you placed the checkers on the 13-point until you reach the 8-point. [5]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 5 Version 4.jpg
  6. Place the five remaining checkers on your 6-point. The six point is right next to the bar for both players but on opposite sides of the board. Count back from the 8-point checkers to be sure that you are placing them in the right spot. These last five checkers will be the only ones that start out in your home board. You can use these checkers to create primes in your home board that may prevent the other player from reentering the board if you hit one of his blots.[6]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 6 Version 4.jpg
  7. Make sure that none of the checkers are overlapping. Remember that each player has his own numbering system, so none of the checkers you just placed should overlap. If one or more points has two different players' checkers on it, then you have set up the board incorrectly and will need to start over.
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 7 Version 4.jpg

[Edit]Game Rules

  1. Roll the dice at the start of each turn. Each player rolls two dice during his turn. Each number in the dice roll indicates how many points each checker can move. Each move is separate and the two dice roll numbers should not be added together.[7]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 8 Version 4.jpg
  2. Move in one direction only. Checkers always move in one direction, from the opposing player's home board, crossing the two outer boards, and into the moving player's home board. Checkers can never go backwards, only forward. The movement of the checkers resembles a horseshoe.[8]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 9 Version 3.jpg
  3. Place checkers on open points only. Checkers can only move to open points on the board. Open points either have no checkers on them, have the player's checkers on them, or have just one of the opponent's checkers on them. A player cannot move his checkers into a point that has two or more of the opponent's checkers on it because that point is temporarily "claimed" by the opponent.[9]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 10 Version 3.jpg
  4. Try to protect your checkers from your opponent. Players should try to keep their checkers safe from their opponents. To keep your checkers safe, you should try to move them so each point has at least two checkers on it. If you have just one checker on a point, your opponent can land on it and take your checker out of the game (a point with one checker is called a blot). You'll have to start that checker over from the home board.[10]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 11 Version 3.jpg
  5. Learn how doubles work. If a player rolls doubles, then he gets to move the number on the dice four separate times. So, if you roll two 3s, you can move any checker 3 spaces 4 separate times. You can also divide the spaces among different checkers.[11]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 12 Version 2.jpg
  6. Bear off your checkers first to win the game. Once a player has all of the checkers in his or her home board, then he can begin to "remove" them from the game. This is called "bearing the checkers off the board." To bear off checkers, you have to roll the dice to get the points the checkers are on.[12]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 13 Version 2.jpg
    • For example, if you have two checkers on your 5-point, and you roll a 5 and a 3, you can remove one checker completely from the 5-point, and then either move the other checker on the 5-point 3 points over, to the 2-point, or move another checker on the home board. If you don't roll the number of the points the checkers are on, you can move them closer to the 1-point, but you still have to roll a 1 to get them off the board completely.

[Edit]Variations

  1. Play a game of Nackgammon. To play this variation of the game, each player will place 2 checkers on his 24-point, 2 checkers on his 23-point, 4 checkers on his 13-point, 3 checkers on his 8-point, and 4 checkers on his 6-point. You can think of this as setting up a traditional game of backgammon, except that you "borrow" one checker from your 13-point and another from your 6-point. Other than the positioning, the rules are the same as they are for regular backgammon.[13]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 14 Version 2.jpg
  2. Set up a game of hyper-backgammon. To set up the board for this game, each player only needs 3 checkers total. Each player should place one checker on his 24-point, 23-point, and 22-point. After that, you're ready to play this exciting and fast-paced version of backgammon. Other than the number and position of the checkers, the regular rules of backgammon apply.[14]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 15 Version 2.jpg
  3. Play a game of long-gammon. For this game, each player places all of his 15 checkers on his 24-point. Other than this unique difference, all other rules of backgammon apply. Since you are placing all of your checkers at the furthermost point from your home board, expect this version to take a bit longer than regular backgammon.[15]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 16 Version 2.jpg
  4. Consider a game of Dutch backgammon. The setup for this version of the game is easiest of all! The game begins with all of the checkers off of the board, so you don't have to do a thing. Though the end game is the same -- bearing off your checkers from your home board, the game starts when you have to roll the dice to "enter" your checkers into your opponent's home board. In this version, you cannot hit your opponent's blots until you have at least one of your own checkers in your home board.[16]
    Set up a Backgammon Board Step 17 Version 2.jpg

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

  • Once you understand how to set up the backgammon game board, make sure you read about how to play backgammon
  • It is useful to read about the backgammon board in more detail and take a look at some pictures to assist you in setting up the board.

[Edit]Warnings

  • Make sure both players' checkers form a mirror image on the board - opposite all your checkers should be the same number of your opponents checkers.

[Edit]Things You'll Need

  • backgammon board
  • 30 checkers in two different colours (15 of each colour)
  • two dice
  • two dice shakers (optional: you can roll dice by hand)
  • one doubling cube

[Edit]Related wikiHows

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

How to Be Assertive

Posted: 07 May 2022 05:00 PM PDT

Being assertive falls right in the middle of being passive and being aggressive. If you're passive, you'll never get to vocalize your needs; if you're aggressive, you'll look like a big bully and will likely be misdirecting your frustrations. But if you're assertive, you'll be able to express your desires while respecting the needs of others, and you'll have a better chance of getting what you want and deserve.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Understanding the Difference between Assertiveness, Aggression, and Passiveness

  1. Understand assertive communication. Assertive communication carries respect for the feelings, needs, wants, and opinions of others. An assertive communicator avoids infringing upon the rights of others, while asserting their own, seeking compromise in the process. Assertive communication utilizes actions and words to express boundaries of needs and wants in a calm fashion, while conveying a message of confidence.[1]
    Be Assertive Step 1 Version 3.jpg
  2. Learn verbal features of assertive communication. The verbal cues that indicate assertive communication convey respect, sincerity and firmness. These cues might include:
    Be Assertive Step 2 Version 2.jpg
    • Firm, relaxed voice
    • Fluent and sincere
    • Appropriate volume for situation
    • Cooperative and constructive
  3. Learn the non-verbal features of assertive communication. Just like verbal cues, non-verbal communication conveys assertive behavior and can indicate respect, sincerity and confidence. Non-verbal features might include:
    • Receptive listening
    • Direct eye contact
    • Open body stance
    • Smiling when pleased
    • Frowning when angry
  4. Learn thoughts associated with assertive communication. An assertive person will naturally gravitate towards certain thought patterns that indicate their confidence and respect for others. These thoughts might include:
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    • "I won't be taken advantage of, or attack another person."
    • "I will stand up for myself in a respectful manner."
    • "I will express myself directly and openly."
  5. Understand aggressive communication. Assertiveness can often be incorrectly confused with aggression. Aggressiveness lacks respect for others. It is a complete disregard for the needs, feelings, wants, opinions, and sometimes even the personal safety of other people. Aggressive communication can often be identified by angry and/or demanding behavior, self-promotion, and manipulation.
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    • Verbal features of aggressive communication might include: sarcastic or condescending remarks, blaming, shouting, threats, boasting, or the use of put-downs.
    • Nonverbal features of aggressive communication might include: intruding upon others' personal space; fist-clenching, crossed arms, scowling, or staring down another person.
    • Thoughts associated with aggressive communication might include: "I feel powerful, and will get others to do my bidding," "I am in control of other people," or "I refuse to be vulnerable."
  6. Understand passive communication. Silence and assumption are the hallmarks of the passive communication style. Passive communicators often lack respect for themselves, disregarding their own opinions, feelings, needs, and desires. Passive communication places one's own needs and desires below those of others. Passivity takes away one's power and allows others to decide the outcomes of situations:
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    • Verbal features of passive communication might include: hesitancy, quiet, self-dismissal, or self put-downs.
    • Non-verbal features of passive communication might include: averting the gaze or looking down, slouched posture, crossed arms, or covering the mouth with hand.
    • Thoughts associated with passive communication might include: "I don't count," or "People will think poorly of me."
    • Note that being passive is not the same thing as being passive-aggressive, which is characterized by agreeing in the moment and then being resentful or retaliatory later.
  7. Think about your influences. From early childhood, our behaviors are adapted to fit responses received from our environment, families, peers, coworkers, and authority figures. Communication styles, such as passiveness, assertiveness, and aggression, can be extensions of cultural, generational, and situational influences. Assertiveness is much more valued in Western societies.
    Be Assertive Step 7 Version 2.jpg
    • Older generations may find it more difficult to act assertively. Men were once taught that emotional expression was a sign of weakness, while women were taught that stating their own needs and opinions conveyed messages of aggression. Sometimes, it can even be difficult for us to discern which behaviors are appropriate to use in different situations.
  8. Do not blame yourself for your communication style. It is important not to blame yourself if you do not understand how to communicate assertively. Other types of communication styles, such as passiveness and aggression, can be parts of a vicious cycle. You can break this cycle by learning new assertive ways of thinking and behaving.
    Be Assertive Step 8 Version 2.jpg
    • If your family taught you to place the needs of others before yourself as a child, it may be difficult for you to assert yourself.
    • If your family or peer group handled conflict by yelling and arguing, you may have learned to deal with conflict accordingly.
    • If your social group believed that negative emotions should be concealed, or if your have ever been ignored or ridiculed for expressing these types of feelings, then you may have learned not to communicate negative emotions.

[Edit]Gaining Insight into Your Emotions

  1. Start writing in a journal. In order to learn how to communicate assertively, it is important that you learn how to effectively manage your emotions. For some, just gaining insight into their own emotional processes can be enough to help them change the way they communicate with others and enable them to express their emotions in a more assertive manner. Keeping a journal can be the best to get to the bottom of your behavior, by recording situations and asking specific questions that relate to assertiveness.
    Be Assertive Step 9.jpg
  2. Identify situations as if you were filming a scene. Write down situations that trigger your emotions. Stick to facts and try not to make any interpretations in this first step. For example, you may simply write, "I asked my friend to go out to eat, and she said 'no'."
    Be Assertive Step 10.jpg
  3. Identify the emotions you were feeling in the situation. Be honest about how you felt. Specify what emotions you were aware of at the time, and rate the intensity of each emotion on a scale from 0 to 100 (not intense at all to extremely intense). Just give an estimate but be honest with yourself.
    Be Assertive Step 11.jpg
  4. Identify your behavior in reaction to the situation. Note any physical symptoms you may have felt at the time. Ask yourself, "What did I do?" and "What did I feel in my body?"
    Be Assertive Step 12.jpg
    • For example, if someone ignored your phone call, maybe you felt sick to your stomach or tension in your shoulders.
  5. Identify thoughts that you had while in the situation. These thoughts may be assumptions, interpretations, beliefs, values, and so forth. Ask yourself, "What was I thinking?" or "What was going through my head?" For instance, you may write down: "I agreed to go out to eat when she asked me, so she should have said yes when I asked her," or "Saying no was rude of her," or "Maybe she doesn't want to be my friend anymore."
    Be Assertive Step 13.jpg
  6. Rate the strength of each thought. Again using the 0 to 100 scale, rate the strength of your thoughts in the situation. Record a "0" if you didn't believe the thought, or a "100" if you believed it 100%. Then ask yourself, "Am I thinking in a passive, assertive, or aggressive manner?" Record your response to this question. Record any evidence for, or against, each thought. Evaluate whether there may be other ways to interpret the situation.
    Be Assertive Step 14.jpg
  7. Determine a more assertive response to this situation. In order to find a more balanced and assertive manner of thinking and behaving, ask yourself, "What would be a more assertive way of thinking or responding?"
    Be Assertive Step 15.jpg
  8. Re-rate your original emotions. After you have evaluated the situation, revisit the intensity of your original emotions and the strength of your beliefs in the situation. Rate them again from 0 to 100.
    Be Assertive Step 16.jpg
  9. Try to journal regularly. Through the journaling exercise, you are likely to decrease the intensity of your emotions. Evaluate your emotions, thoughts, and reactions during different types of situations. If you continue to practice, you may begin to think and behave in a more assertive manner.
    Be Assertive Step 17.jpg

[Edit]Learning to Communicate Effectively

  1. Understand the benefits of assertive communication. Assertiveness is a learned style of communication that allows for the confident expression of one's needs and feelings while, at the same time, remaining mindful of the opinions, wants, needs, and feelings of others. It is an alternative to behaving in a passive or aggressive manner. There are many benefits to learning how to communicating assertively:[2]
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    • Strong and effective communication
    • Confidence
    • Self-esteem enhancement
    • Gain respect of others
    • Improves decision-making skills
    • Reduces stress of not having needs met
    • Enables conflict resolution
    • Self-respect increases
    • Feelings of being ignored or coerced replaced by feelings of being understood and in control of decisions
    • Tendency to be less depressed
    • Decreased likelihood of substance abuse
  2. Say "no" when appropriate. Saying no can be difficult for many people. However, saying "yes" when you need to say "no" can lead to unnecessary stress, resentment, and anger toward others. When saying no, it can be helpful to keep in mind a useful set of guidelines:
    Be Assertive Step 19.jpg
    • Keep it brief.
    • Be clear.
    • Be honest.
    • For example, if you don't have time to do a favor that you don't have time to do, you can simply say, "I can't this time. Sorry to disappoint you, but I have too many things to do that day, and there's no room in my schedule."
  3. Stay calm and respect others. When you are speaking with someone, remain calm and have respect for them. This will enable the other person to heed what you say and treat you with respect too.
    Be Assertive Step 20.jpg
    • It may help to breathe deeply if you start to feel upset. Doing so will initiate your body's calming process and help you stay in control.
  4. Use simple sentences. Communication may seem like a simple task, however, much of what we attempt to communicate to others – and what is communicated to us – can often be misunderstood. This may cause frustration or conflict in our relationships with other people. When communicating with someone, state your feelings, wants, opinions, and needs in simple sentences. This will help the other person clearly understand what you're asking.[3]
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    • For example, instead of speaking to a family member in long sentences full of hints and indirect statements, you can be brief and direct: "I love when you call me just to talk! It's hard for me to have a long conversation during work hours, though. I'd appreciate it if you called during the evening instead."
  5. Utilize "I" statements when you are asserting yourself. "I" statements convey that you are willing to take responsibility for your own thoughts and behaviors. There are different types of "I" statements that are appropriate for a variety of situations:
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    • Basic assertion: This type of "I" statement can be used in everyday situations to make your needs known, or to give praise, information, or facts. Basic assertions can also be utilized in self-disclosure situations to ease anxiety and enable relaxation. It includes: "I need to leave by 6 o'clock," or "I enjoyed your presentation."
    • Empathetic assertion: This particular "I" statement contains elements of recognition of another person's feelings, needs, or desires, as well as a statement of your own needs and desires. It can be used to indicate your sensitivity to another person's position, such as, "I know you are busy, but I need your assistance."
    • Consequence assertion: This is the strongest form of "I" statement, often used as a last resort assertion. It can be misinterpreted as aggressive if you are not careful to observe your non-verbal behavior. The consequence assertion informs another person of the penalties for not changing their behavior; usually in situations when someone is not considering the rights of others. An example would be a work situation when procedures or guidelines are not being followed: "If this happens again, I am left with no choice but to pursue disciplinary action. I would prefer to avoid that."
    • Discrepancy assertion: This type of "I" statement is used to point out a discrepancy between what has been previously agreed upon, and what is actually happening. It is used for clarifying misunderstandings and/or contradictions in behavior. You might say, "As I understand, we agreed that Project ABC was our number one priority. Now you are asking me to allow more time for Project XYZ. I would like you to clarify which is now the top priority."
    • Negative feelings assertion: This form of "I" statement is utilized in situations where you feel negative feelings toward another person (anger, resentment, hurt). It enables you to convey these feelings without making an uncontrolled outburst, and alerts the other party of the effects of their actions. You might say, "When you procrastinate on your report, it involves my working over the weekend. I feel annoyed by this, so in the future I would like to receive it by Thursday afternoon."
  6. Use appropriate body language. Always remember when being assertive, your non-verbal communication is important. It is possible to think you are acting assertively when you are actually being passive or aggressive because you are not careful about your non-verbal communication style.
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    • Keep your voice calm and volume neutral
    • Maintain good eye contact
    • Relax your face and body position
  7. Take time to practice assertive communication. Adopting assertive behavior takes time and practice so that it can become second nature to you. Practice having conversations in the mirror. Alternately, practice your conversation with your therapist or counselor.
    Be Assertive Step 24.jpg

[Edit]Learning to Manage Stress

  1. Acknowledge stress in your life. It can be challenging to keep your emotions under control, which can affect the way we communicate. When we get stressed or upset, our bodies go into stress mode, which puts our bodies into a chemical and hormonal reaction to get ready for a perceived threat.[4] The way you think in this state is different than the way you would think with a calm, clear, rational mind and body, making it more difficult for you to use your assertiveness techniques.
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    • Acknowledge when you have stress in your life. Make a list of the things that are contributing to your stressful state.
  2. Try meditation. Relaxation techniques bring our bodies back to a balanced physiological state. For example, meditation has a calming effect on the brain that lasts well after your meditation session. This has a direct effect on the amygdala, the center in the brain responsible for emotional reasoning.[5] Try to meditate every day for at least 5-10 minutes.[6]
    Be Assertive Step 26.jpg
    • Sit in a comfortable chair or on a pillow.
    • Close your eyes and focus on sensations that you're having. Pay attention to what you feel with your body, what you hear, and what you smell.
    • Turn your attention to your breathing. Inhale for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four.
    • Whenever your mind wanders, dismiss the thoughts without judgment and refocus your thinking on your breath.
    • You might add a mantra or metta, or a saying that uplifts you and gives you positive feelings, such as, "May I be peaceful," or "May I be happy."[7]
    • You might also try a guided meditation, which helps you visualize relaxing imagery.[8]
  3. Practice deep breathing. When you are in a stressful situation, deep breathing can help reduce stress and help you think clearly. Take some deep breaths by slowly and deliberately inhaling and exhaling.
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    • Sit comfortably in a chair with your arms and legs uncrossed, feet flat on the floor, and hands resting on your thighs. Gently close your eyes.
    • Breathe in through your nose, observing the quality of the breath while inhaling and exhaling.
    • Slowly lengthen each inhalation by smoothly deepening each breath down into your abdomen. Pause briefly, then note the smooth, steady breath released as you exhale.
    • Begin counting the rhythm of your breaths. Inhale for 3 seconds. Exhale for 3 seconds. Maintain slow, even, and controlled breathing. Try not to speed up.
    • Use this rhythm while breathing for 10-15 minutes
    • When finished, gently open your eyes. Relax momentarily. Then, slowly rise from the chair.
  4. Try progressive muscle relaxation. If you're nervous about meditation or feel you don't have the time to practice it faithfully, the relaxation response can still be activated through progressive muscle relaxation.[9] This technique activates the body's calming response and brings the body back into physiological balance by tensing and relaxing each muscle group in the body in progression. To practice progressive muscle relaxation in about 15-20 minutes per day:
    Be Assertive Step 28.jpg
    • Find a comfortable position in a chair with your feet flat on the floor, your hands resting on your thighs, and your eyes closed.
    • Start the exercise by clenching your fists, holding for 10 seconds. Then release, feeling the relaxation sensation for another 10 seconds. Repeat.
    • Tense your lower arm by bending your hand downward at the wrist, hold for 10 seconds. Release, and relax for another 10 seconds. Repeat.
    • Work through the rest of your body, pausing to tense and relax each muscle group. Start with your upper arms, shoulders, neck, head, and face. Then continue with your chest, stomach, back, buttocks, thighs, calves and feet.
    • When you've worked through your entire body, sit for a few minutes to enjoy the sensation of feeling relaxed.
    • Stand slowly to avoid dizziness (blood pressure drops when relaxed) or tensing up again unexpectedly.
    • If you don't have 15-20 minutes to complete the entire exercise, you can practice on muscle groups that are noticeably tense.

[Edit]Making Decisions Effectively

  1. Use the IDEAL model of decision-making. Making decisions is part of being assertive. You are taking control of your life and making decisions that best suit you, rather than letting someone else make decisions for you or allow yourself to become swayed by someone else against your better judgment. By identifying the problem, you will be able to address critical elements that result in good decision-making. Niagara Region Public Health recommends using the IDEAL model:
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    • I – Identify the problem.
    • D – Describe all possible solutions. These might include handling it yourself, asking for intervention from someone else, or doing nothing.
    • E - Evaluate the consequences of each solution. Evaluate your feelings and needs to determine the best outcome for yourself.
    • A - Act. Choose a solution and try it. Use "I" statements to express your feelings and needs.
    • L - Learn. Did the solution work? Evaluate why or why not. If it didn't work, look at the other solutions on your list and work through them.
  2. Consider who needs to be involved. There may be multiple parties who will be impacted by a decision, but not all of them necessarily have to be involved with the decision-making. Get input from those who need to be involved.
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    • You should consider the other parties as you make your decision, but the final say will come from you.
  3. Understand the purpose of your decision. All decisions are prompted by the need for some course of action. Take time to determine the purpose behind this course of action. This will ensure that the decision is the correct one.
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  4. Make a timely decision. Procrastination can be a major impediment to assertive decision-making. Don't leave the decision to the last minute or you may eliminate some of the possible solutions.
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[Edit]Setting Healthy Boundaries

  1. Protect your physical and emotional space. Boundaries are the physical, emotional, and intellectual barriers that you create to protect yourself from harm. Healthy boundaries protect your personal space, self-esteem, and maintain your ability to separate your own feelings from those of others. Unhealthy boundaries increase your likelihood of exposure to being adversely affected by others feelings, beliefs, and behaviors.[10]
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  2. Plan out your boundaries. When you go into a conversation where you want to discuss your needs, it's important to know your boundaries beforehand. Having your boundaries at the forefront of your mind before a conversation will keep you from getting derailed and compromising your needs in the middle of a conversation because it's easier or helps you avoid conflict.
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    • For example, establish a boundary with your boss of not working on the weekends or not working overtime without three days' notice. If you're talking to a friend, have a boundary of not picking her up at the airport again until she picks you up when you need a ride.
  3. Learn to say no. If you do not feel right doing something, then don't do it. It's okay to reject someone. Remember, for yourself, the most important person is you. If you don't respect your own desires, how can you expect others to?
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    • You may think that being a people-pleaser will put you on people's good side, but unfortunately, an overabundance of generosity usually has the opposite effect on people.
    • People only value the things they invest time/energy/money into, so if you're the one doing all the giving, your esteem for that person will skyrocket, but theirs for you will decline. Take a stand. People may resist at first – or even be shocked by your transformation – but in the end, they will respect you for it.
  4. State your own opinions in a respectful manner. Don't be silent if you have something to say. Share your feelings freely: it's your right. Remember, there's nothing wrong in having an opinion. Just make sure you pick the right moment to state your needs. Make it clear that what you have to say is important and should be noticed.
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    • Practice in low-stakes situations. Do all your friends love that new TV show everyone's talking about? Don't be afraid to admit that you weren't all that impressed. Has someone misinterpreted what you said? Don't nod and play along; explain what you really meant, even if the miscommunication was harmless.
  5. Identify what your needs are. Identify what makes you happy and what your needs are. This will help you develop a set of expectations for other people to follow in how you would like to be treated. Think of situations where you don't feel like you're being treated with mutual respect or situations where you felt like your feelings were not being considered. Then consider what could happen to make you feel more respected.[11]
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  6. Be honest with yourself about what you want. Acting confidently won't do you any good if you can never make up your mind or are trying too hard to "go with the flow." People will be accommodating to your needs if you can tell them clearly what those needs are.
    Be Assertive Step 38.jpg
    • Off-loading decision-making onto everyone else is a passive-aggressive way of shirking your responsibility – and placing the consequences squarely on someone else's shoulders. The next time your friends ask you where you want to go to dinner, don't respond with, "Oh, wherever"; give them a concrete answer.
  7. Come up with solutions that make both parties happy. A good approach is to adopt a "we" mentality and come up with solutions that will make both parties happy, if the situation allows. This way, everyone's feelings are being considered and heard.
    Be Assertive Step 39.jpg
    • For instance, if you drive your roommate to work every day, yet she doesn't pay for gas, approach her about this issue. You can say, "I don't mind giving you rides every so often. Owning a car is really expensive, though, and I am saving you money and time if you were to take the bus to work every day. Would you mind chipping in for gas every week? I'd really appreciate it." In this way, you are acknowledging that she might not realize that you feel a certain way. Now she is aware of the problem without you using an accusing tone.

[Edit]Projecting Confidence

  1. Evaluate your level of self-confidence. Self-confidence is reflected by your ability to understand how you see yourself. This includes your self-perception and where you believe you fit in the social hierarchy. If you see yourself in a negative light, you might experience great difficulty asserting your own thoughts, beliefs, needs, and feelings. Furthermore, you may feel intimidated or reluctant to ask questions when you need clarification, focus too heavily on your own negative traits, and lack trust in yourself. Self-doubt prevents assertive communication. Assess your self-confidence through self-evaluation by asking yourself these questions:[12]
    Be Assertive Step 40.jpg
    • Can you maintain eye contact when communicating with others?
    • Do you project your voice properly?
    • Do you speak confidently (without using the phrases "uh" or "um" frequently)?
    • Is your physical posture or stance erect and open?
    • Do you have the ability to ask questions when clarification is needed?
    • Are you comfortable around other people?
    • Are you able to say no when appropriate?
    • Are you able to express anger and annoyance appropriately?
    • Do you offer your opinion when in disagreement with others?
    • Do you defend yourself against mistakes that are not your fault?
    • If you answered no to 3 or fewer of these questions, you are likely a self-assured individual. If you answered no to 4-6 of these questions, there is a significant chance that you see yourself negatively. If you answered no more to than 7 questions, you are likely to experience tremendous difficulty with self-confidence. You may often doubt your worthiness of respect or see yourself lower in the social hierarchy.
  2. Have confident body language. The way you hold yourself speaks volumes about you – long before you even get a chance to open your mouth. Keep your shoulders squared and your chin up. Avoid fidgeting (put your hands in your pockets if you must) or covering your mouth when you speak. Look people in the eye when you speak to indicate that you don't intend to be brushed off.
    Be Assertive Step 41.jpg
    • Try not to be easy to read, especially if you are nervous or uncertain. Hide your "tells" by controlling your hands, feet, and facial expressions so that they don't betray your emotions.
    • If making eye contact is a problem, practice with sunglasses and then work up to doing it barefaced. If you must avert your gaze, look off into the distance as if in thought, not down.
    • Even if you are nervous or confused, you can still act confident. There's no shame in asking questions.
  3. Speak clearly and deliberately. Rushing when you talk is an admission that you don't expect people to take the time to listen. Speaking slowly, on the other hand, will indicate to people that you're worth the wait. Use a clear, calm voice. You don't need to be loud, but you do need to make yourself heard.
    Be Assertive Step 42.jpg
    • If people aren't noticing you, say "Excuse me" clearly and firmly. Don't be apologetic when you haven't done anything wrong, as this can communicate to people that you feel slightly embarrassed just for existing.
    • Try to be concise when you speak. Even the most confident person in the world will lose their audience if they don't make their point soon enough.
    • Avoid saying um or like as much as you can when you're trying to make a strong statement. Make a conscious effort to get these words out of your vocabulary.
  4. Work on your appearance. Shallow though it may be, people make snap judgments based on your appearance. People who are naturally confident and charismatic can change others' minds, but the rest of us aren't so lucky. If you're wearing clothes that look like you've just got out of bed, or if you wear a pound of make-up with fluffy high-heels, the average person won't take you seriously. On the other hand, if you look like you're ready to get things done, people will tend to be more respectful.
    Be Assertive Step 43.jpg
    • Dressing well doesn't necessarily mean dressing up. If you're the naturally casual sort, focus on having clean, matching, unwrinkled clothes with no embarrassing slogans or inappropriate images.
    • Making an effort to be serious about your appearance will make it look like you're more serious about your demands.
  5. Rehearse what you're going to say. This may sound silly, but if you want to project confidence, then you should sound firm and decisive when the moment comes. What better way to get there than to practice? You can practice in front of the mirror, into a recording, or even with a trusted friend, pretending he or she is your boss, significant other, or whomever you plan to speak with.
    Be Assertive Step 44.jpg
    • When the moment comes, remember how confident you sounded when you were just rehearsing, and work to sound even more confident when it counts.

[Edit]Seeking Additional Help

  1. Visit a counselor or psychologist. If you feel you still need help becoming assertive, it can help to see a professional. Counselors and psychologists have education and training specifically in helping people communicate in healthy and meaningful ways.
    Be Assertive Step 45.jpg
  2. Try assertiveness training. Many universities offer assertiveness training to the students. This will help you practice assertiveness techniques while helping you discuss different situations where you feel you need help in being assertive, as well as help in controlling your stress as you navigate different situations.
    Be Assertive Step 46.jpg
  3. Practice with a trusted friend. Asserting yourself takes practice and time. Ask a friend to help you practice your communication skills in various scenarios. The more you face situations that demand assertiveness, even when they are mock situations, the more confident you will become.
    Be Assertive Step 47.jpg

[Edit]Help Sounding Assertive

[Edit]Warnings

  • In confrontations, emotions can run high. Remember to be respectful and keep a cool head.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

How to Make Hanging Earrings

Posted: 07 May 2022 09:00 AM PDT

Nothing spices up your look quite like a pair of dangling earrings. They can be cool, elegant, hip, trendy, or just plain original! Making your own hanging earrings is the perfect way to express your creativity and to put together the perfect earrings you've always wanted.

[Edit]Steps

  1. Select your beads and gather the earring hooks, head pins, needle nose and chain nose pliers. These tools and materials are all essential. See the picture for further detail.
    Make Hanging Earrings Step 1 Version 3.jpg
  2. Arrange the beads the way you would like them, placing the bead you would like at the bottom on first and so on.

  3. With your pliers, bend the excess head pin over 90 degrees on both earrings.

  4. With the steel cutting pliers, cut off the pin until it is only long. Alternatively, attempt the "Jump Ring" Technique below.
    Make Hanging Earrings Step 4 Version 3.jpg
  5. Get your earring hook and with the chain nose pliers, bend the head pin around in a circle. Notice in the picture that the pins are not bent all the way around.

  6. Slide the hook onto the half bent pin and then bend the pin all the way around so there is no way the hook can slip off and earring fall apart.

  7. Slip the earrings into the holes of your ears (you must have pierced ears to wear these earrings) and show them off!
    Make Hanging Earrings Step 7 Version 2.jpg
  8. Finished.
    Make Hanging Earrings Step 8 Version 3.jpg

[Edit]Alternative "Jump Ring" Technique

  1. Follow instructions 1 to 3 as above, but skip step 4 above by not cutting the pin yet.
    Make Hanging Earrings Step 9 Version 2.jpg
  2. Bend the head pin all the way around, then wrap it several times around the pin where it just comes out of the bead. Cut the excess and tuck the end in so that it does not stick out. This creates a closed, secure loop.

  3. Open a "jump ring" (basically a circle of wire that's not entirely closed) and slide on the head pin with beads and the earring hook. Close the jump ring securely.

  4. When opening a jump ring, do not pull the ends apart directly away from each other (such that they are still in the same plane); this weakens the ring. Instead, slide one end past the other (perpendicular to the plane of the ring) to open, and slide back in the same manner to close.
    Make Hanging Earrings Step 12 Version 2.jpg

[Edit]Tips

  • For a polished look, replace the silver ball at the base of the coil on the earring hook with a coordinating seed bead.

[Edit]Warnings

  • Hanging earrings are very easy to catch and pull on clothing or hair. Be careful when wearing them, as one hard pull is enough to rip at your ear, and possibly cause serious injury to you.
  • Keep earrings out of reach of small children and animals, as they could swallow them.

[Edit]Things You'll Need

  • Chain nose (round nose) pliers
  • Beading wire cutters
  • Needle nose pliers
  • Head pins
  • Earring hooks
  • Jump rings
  • Beads

[Edit]Related wikiHows

How to Make Nacho Dip

Posted: 07 May 2022 01:00 AM PDT

Whether you're hosting a Super Bowl party or just entertaining friends, creamy nacho cheese dip is a quick, delicious recipe that can be whipped up in no time flat and is sure to please. All you'll need is half an hour, a few basic ingredients and a big appetite!

[Edit]Ingredients

  • 1 package or container of regular cream cheese
  • 1-2 cups sour cream (depending on ideal consistency and flavor)
  • 1 small packet taco seasoning
  • 1 jar of chunky salsa
  • 1-2 cups shredded cheese (cheddar or monterey jack)
  • 1 large ripe tomato (optional)
  • 1 large white onion (optional)
  • 1 large green bell pepper (optional)
  • Tortilla chips

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Mixing the Base

  1. Prepare your ingredients. Start by gathering everything you'll need to make the dip. This basic nacho dip recipe calls for 1 package of cream cheese, 1-2 cups of sour cream, 1 jar of salsa, 1 large tomato, onion, and green bell pepper (to suit tastes), and about a cup of freshly shredded cheese. Dice and mix the vegetables together, then set them aside so they'll be ready to add in later.
    Make Nacho Dip Step 1 Version 3.jpg
    • To make the recipe big enough to fill up a crowd, simply double the amounts of the primary ingredients.
  2. Soften cream cheese to room temperature. Allow the package of cream cheese to soften and come to room temperature. This will promote spreadability and allow it to mix with the thinner sour cream. Drain any separated liquid from the cream cheese container.
    Make Nacho Dip Step 2 Version 3.jpg
    • Most culinary guidelines will tell you to leave a package of cream cheese out overnight in order to soften in, but the process can be sped up considerably by first cutting the cream cheese into small cubes.
  3. Mix cream cheese and sour cream together. Combine the whole package of cream cheese with 1 cup of sour cream in a large mixing bowl. Mix the two thoroughly using an electric beater or spatula. Continue mixing until the consistency is the same throughout. The cream cheese and sour cream together will provide the creamy base for the dip.[1]

    • Start with one cup of sour cream. If the mixture is still too thick to easily blend, increase the amount of sour cream up to one additional cup. Remember, the dip will thicken once it's refrigerated.
    • If you're mixing the cream cheese and sour cream by hand, use scooping circular motions with the spatula to "fold" the mixture in on itself.
  4. Add taco seasoning. Take one small packet of taco seasoning and add it to the cream cheese/sour cream mixture. Mix again until the seasoning is blended in.[2]

    • As an alternative to packaged taco seasoning, you might use chili powder, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, and/or cumin.[3]

[Edit]Combining the Remaining Ingredients

  1. Blend salsa into the dip base. Open a jar of salsa and begin adding it gradually to the dip base. The salsa should be added to taste and stirred in until the mixture becomes a light pink color. Make sure not to add too much at once, as this can overpower the dairy elements and reduce the creaminess of the dip.[4]

    • Choose a thick salsa instead of thinner types like pico de gallo to avoid making the dip watery.
    • Just to be on the safe side, use mild salsa. If you want to spice the dip up later, you'll have more control using fresh peppers and other seasonings.
  2. Layer on shredded cheese. Sprinkle roughly a cup's worth of shredded cheese over the top of the cream cheese/sour cream/salsa mixture. Cover the entire dish so that the cheese is distributed evenly throughout the dip. Add more cheese to taste.

    • The sharper notes of cheeses with distinct flavors, like cheddar and jack, will stand out nicely in your dip.[5]
  3. Incorporate the diced veggies. Take the tomatoes, onions and green bell peppers you diced earlier and add them into the dip. Mix the entire entire concoction together so that each ingredient is spread through the dip—ideally, each bite will contain a little bit of everything.

    • Looking for other vegetables to build up your nacho dip? Try minced garlic, black beans or mild Anaheim or poblano peppers.
  4. Refrigerate for up to an hour. Place the bowl containing the mixed ingredients in the refrigerator and allow it to sit for thirty minutes to an hour until the dip "sets up." The cream cheese/sour cream mixture will thicken as it cools, and the flavors of the taco seasoning, cheese and vegetables will have time to come together. At the sixty minute mark, or whenever you're ready to serve it, take the dip out, transfer it to the intended serving dish and arrange tortilla chips around the dip. You're ready to eat![6]
    Make Nacho Dip Step 8 Version 3.jpg
    • Leave the dip in the refrigerator until you're ready to bring it out for your guests.

[Edit]Experimenting with Other Variations

  1. Try it with chili. For a heartier, more savory dip, pour a can or two of Hormel chili into the mixture right after you add the salsa. Chili will lend the nacho dip a thick and meaty flavor and make it more filling; you could even serve this variation of the dip as the main course![7]
    Make Nacho Dip Step 9 Version 2.jpg
    • If canned chili still isn't substantial enough for you, brown a few ounces of lean ground beef and use it to supplement your heavy-duty dip.
  2. Add sliced jalapenos. If you want to kick things up a notch, incorporate fresh or pickled jalapeno slices into the dip, or make a second batch specifically for spice lovers. Jalapenos pair well with the rest of the ingredients used in the dip, and the piquancy of the peppers will be offset nicely by the cool creaminess of the cream cheese.[8]
    Make Nacho Dip Step 10 Version 2.jpg
    • Remove as many seeds as you can when cooking with fresh jalapenos—that's where most of the spice comes from. You want the flavor, not just the heat.
  3. Use a can of Rotel. If you're in a crunch for time or just want to make the cooking process as hands-free as possible, use a couple cans of Rotel instead of dealing with washing, prepping and cutting fresh vegetables. Rotel contains tomatoes and mild green chiles, making it perfect for Mexican and Southwest-inspired dishes and dips. You can even mix and match, if you prefer, using Rotel in place of the tomatoes and green bell pepper while adding fresh onion and whatever other veggies you desire.[9]
    Make Nacho Dip Step 11 Version 2.jpg
    • Drain the Rotel can of all excess liquid before adding it to your dip.
  4. Serve it hot. While most cream cheese-based dips are made to be served at cool temperatures, you can also modify the cooking process to make a hot, delicious and extra creamy dip. This will require you to heat the cream cheese/sour cream mixture slowly, while gradually adding the other ingredients. Cut the cream cheese into small cubes before combining it with the other ingredients and bake the dip in a casserole dish at a low heat to prevent the cream cheese from scorching or clumping. When you're ready to serve, sprinkle a little more shredded cheese over the top for a nice melted finished.[10]

    • Cream cheese is excellent for making rich, creamy sauces and dips, but it has to be heated correctly. Soften the cream cheese to room temperature first, then melt it over low heat gradually. Add a few ounces of milk if the cream cheese looks like it's curdling or getting thick.[11]
    • Smooth, easily-melted cheeses and cheese products like Velveeta will work well for hot dips.
  5. Finished.
    Make Nacho Dip Step 13.jpg

[Edit]Tips

  • While freshly shredded cheeses will have a superior flavor and texture, prepackaged shredded cheese can cut down on prep time and make things a lot easier.
  • "Light" cream cheese or sour cream can be substituted for the regular types if you have hungry guests who are counting calories.
  • Pick up some tortilla chips that are sturdy enough to handle a dip this hearty.

[Edit]Warnings

  • Don't let the cream cheese sit out at room temperature for too long or it can spoil.
  • Always add seasoning and spice to taste. It's easy to use more, but once it's in there you can't take it out.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

How to Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup

Posted: 06 May 2022 05:00 PM PDT

It's normal to feel powerless when your friend goes through a tough breakup, but one of the most important things you'll need to do will be realizing that you cannot simply change or fix the situation.[1] Instead, try cheering up your friend after a breakup by patiently listening to complaints, providing reasonable and enjoyable distractions, and dissuading your friend from making regrettable choices like excessive drinking or rebounds relationships.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Helping Your Friend in the Short Term

  1. Listen. Immediately after a breakup—regardless of whether the relationship was six months or six years—your friend is likely to feel confused in addition to sadness. Your friend will likely want to start talking through this confusion almost immediately, and genuinely listening is one of the first and most meaningful steps you can take to show you care.[2]
    Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup Step 1 Version 5.jpg
    • No matter what reason someone gives us for breaking up, we're always left with questions—"What could I have done differently?" or "Can I still fix this?" It's perfectly logical for people to be confused about being rejected, especially if they don't see the rejection coming.
  2. Be patient. It's always easier to maintain a friend through the good times, so it's natural for hard times such as breakups to feel straining and frustrating on a friendship.[3] Constantly remind yourself that it's your job as a friend to be empathetic and involved even if it means listening to the same questions or stories repeatedly as your friend processes the new source of grief. Having patience through the process begins immediately and lasts the entire time.
    Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup Step 2 Version 3.jpg
    • If it helps you, remind yourself of a similar time the friend helped you either through a breakup or maybe the loss of a job. Think objectively about how patient the friend was with you during your more difficult moments.
  3. Help your friend feel understood. Obviously, your friend doesn't want to feel as though he or she is talking to a wall, so make sure you engage with the stories and questions raised to help make the person feel understood.[4] During your responses, try to avoid empty cliches and platitudes about breakups, though.[5] The last thing your friend wants to hear is that there are other fish in the sea because it invalidates his or her current emotional state.
    Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup Step 3 Version 2.jpg
    • In general, you should say things that both reassure your friend and acknowledge that his or her feelings are valid. Avoid telling the friend how to feel such as telling them to stay positive, and avoid immediately giving advice unless you are asked for it.[6]
    • For example, instead of telling a friend to try to be more positive, acknowledge that the situation isn't fair.[7]
    • Now is not the time to give your friend advice. Just repeat back what they say to you to show them that you're listening. Validate their feelings by assuring them that it is okay to feel the way that they do.
  4. Avoid bringing up your previous breakups. While you may feel tempted to compare your friend's situation to a previous breakup of your own, you should avoid doing so in the immediate aftermath of the breakup. We may see this as relating to the person, but you may accidentally cross the line in the eyes of your grieving friend, making it seem like you're stealing their thunder or making the situation about you.[8] Give the friend time to make it about him or her.
    Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup Step 4 Version 3.jpg
  5. Discourage your friend from contacting the ex. It's pretty common for someone who has just been rejected to deny the finality of the situation. Your friend may be tempted in the early stages to reach out to the ex in ways that you know aren't going to help. While you should discourage this course of action when the friend asks, don't allow yourself to get too involved in the outcome.
    Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup Step 5 Version 2.jpg
    • Your friend has likely made up his or her mind to contact the person by the time the topic comes up, so you cannot allow yourself to get frustrated if the person doesn't follow your advice.[9]
    • A breakup awakens an irrational part of all of us. Forbidding your friend from contacting the ex is like a parent forbidding a teenager from doing something. Your friend may do it just to spite the voice of reason.[10]
  6. Distract your friend within reason. The emotional effects of a breakup represent a grieving process. It's not only natural for people to grieve, but it's also necessary if the person wants to move on in a healthy manner. You may be tempted to immediately begin getting your friend out of the house to bombard the person with distractions from the pain and sadness, but you must allow your friend to grieve instead of constantly making him or her ignore or forget the breakup.[11] Due to this, only use distractions sparingly and within reason.
    Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup Step 6 Version 2.jpg
    • While taking the friend out shopping or to a baseball game occasionally is a good break from the stress of the grieving process, attempting to subject the person constantly to outside stimuli will only prolong the process or possibly even lead the person to repress the emotions he or she needs to work through.[12]
    • Don't try to set your friend up on a date or push them out into the dating pool. Finding a new partner right away may not be the answer for them.

[Edit]Helping Your Friend in the Long Term

  1. Allow your friend to find his or her own path. Everyone grieves in a completely different manner and over a completely unique time period. Don't focus on how long the grieving period should take based on the length of the relationship or anything else like that. Accept that your friend will need to find his or her own way and in his or her own time.[13]
    Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup Step 7 Version 3.jpg
    • This process is likely to continue testing your patience, but you simply cannot force the situation to click. It'll click when the person is ready for it to.
  2. Help with day-to-day details. Grief often feels all-encompassing in a way that may make your friend put off going grocery shopping or keeping up with other errands that we all hate to do even when we're not getting over a breakup. While you shouldn't mother your friend completely, offering to pick up some basic necessities or even help with the laundry can mean more to the person than you might think.
    Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup Step 8 Version 2.jpg
    • By offering briefly to take something even so simple and mundane off your friend's plate, you will help in a way most others won't even offer.[14]
  3. Keep having fun together. While you should allow the friend to work through the pain and sadness in the short term, don't feel as though you cannot have fun together in the weeks and months after the breakup. Especially in cases of long-term relationships and cohabitation, being single again can feel a bit to anyone as though they've lost part of themselves or their identity. If you and the friend had standing dinner plans on the same night every week or other common friend rituals, resume them as soon as the friend seems ready.
    Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup Step 9 Version 3.jpg
    • These gestures can reestablish a sense of normalcy that helps the friend move on.
    • Remember that getting over someone isn't a perfectly linear process. Even after resuming fun routines, your friend will still have good and bad days. Resist the urge to push or cajole to get the process back on track. The friend is still seeking a safe, nonjudgmental place in your friendship.[15]
    • This may be the perfect time for you to try out a new adventure together. Sign up for a new experience, like a hot balloon ride, or leave town for the weekend.
  4. Watch the person's alcohol consumption. While not advisable, we all know it's perfectly normal give in to a night or two of too much to drink after a breakup. However, as the immediate breakup turns into the long process of moving on, ensure that your friend doesn't appear to be finding too much solace in drugs or alcohol.[16]
    Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup Step 10 Version 2.jpg
    • In addition to the risks of dependence, a healthy body will help lead to a healthy mind much more quickly, and no one sleeps, eats, or exercises enough when they party too often.
  5. Focus on what helps your friend feel better. Though your friend should not avoid or repress the pain and sadness of the breakup, those feelings often find other outlets in the weeks and months that follow. Channeling negative emotions into positive activities is a process referred to as sublimation. Find out the activities your friend is using to sublimate the hurt feelings and encourage them.[17]
    Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup Step 11 Version 2.jpg
    • The person might be exercising more, taking up painting or an instrument, or even doubling down on working toward a promotion. Offer your friend plenty of positive reinforcement for the productive ways in which he or she has managed the situation.
  6. Let the friend get angry. In most people's grieving process, anger comes after the confusion, denial, and sadness involved with a breakup. Anger usually means your friend has accepted the rejection and moved past the immediate loss. While your friend obviously shouldn't be driven to negative or violent action based on his or her anger, being mad alone is not a sign of backsliding.
    Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup Step 12 Version 2.jpg
    • However, discourage your friend from thinking that all women or men are evil or fickle. Not everyone is evil when just one person hurts you.
  7. Dissuade the person from rushing into another relationship. In the absence of being loved and needed by the ex, your friend may seek it in another, ill-advised relationship.[18]. This is a terrible idea for the same reason that offering your friend too many distractions is a terrible idea—distraction versus dealing.
    Cheer Up a Friend After a Breakup Step 13 Version 3.jpg
    • Try to dissuade the person from jumping into another relationship if it looks that way, but remember to approach it the same way you approached the person trying to contact the ex. In other words, don't get so invested that you'll be upset if the person does it anyway, and don't forbid it so harshly that you tempt them to do it to spite you.

[Edit]Conversation Help

[Edit]Tips

  • Make them laugh every chance you get. Put a smile on their face.
  • Let them know that you're there for them; that little thing can mean the world to them at a time like this.
  • Don't force them to tell you what happened. They will tell you when they're ready.
  • Give them time to themselves if they need/want it, they may have to clear their head.
  • Give your friend a hug every time they cry, and tell them you love them and that you are always there for them.
  • Refrain from getting too many friends all together "helping" all at once because it might seem overwhelming. One or two friends is best.
  • Give them little notes of encouragement and plenty of hugs. Make sure they know you're always there for them and let them know that they can get through this tough time.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201402/4-ways-be-good-friend-during-friends-breakup
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201402/4-ways-be-good-friend-during-friends-breakup
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201402/4-ways-be-good-friend-during-friends-breakup
  4. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201402/4-ways-be-good-friend-during-friends-breakup
  5. http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a6100/helping-grieving-friends/
  6. http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a6100/helping-grieving-friends/
  7. http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a6101/how-to-cheer-up-friend/
  8. http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a6100/helping-grieving-friends/
  9. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201402/4-ways-be-good-friend-during-friends-breakup
  10. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201402/4-ways-be-good-friend-during-friends-breakup
  11. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201402/4-ways-be-good-friend-during-friends-breakup
  12. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201402/4-ways-be-good-friend-during-friends-breakup
  13. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201402/4-ways-be-good-friend-during-friends-breakup
  14. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201402/4-ways-be-good-friend-during-friends-breakup
  15. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201402/4-ways-be-good-friend-during-friends-breakup
  16. http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/7-tips-to-get-back-on-track-after-a-breakup/
  17. http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a6101/how-to-cheer-up-friend/
  18. http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/7-tips-to-get-back-on-track-after-a-breakup/

How to Make Popcorn in a Pan

Posted: 06 May 2022 09:00 AM PDT

Making popcorn at home with a large saucepan is easy and cheap, will save you a bundle on a popcorn maker or microwave popcorn, and is also a lot of fun!

[Edit]Ingredients

  • A pack of maize/corn kernels
  • Oil or butter

[Edit]Steps

  1. Buy a bag of dry maize kernels. You can get this from most supermarkets nowadays, and it's easy to find at ethnic stores too. The bigger bag you buy, the more money you'll save in the long term.
    Make Popcorn in a Pan Step 1.jpg
  2. Select your biggest saucepan with a lid (a see - through one makes all the difference!), put it on the stove and drizzle a small amount of oil on the bottom. If you have an oil spray pump, spray the sides too.[1]
    Make Popcorn in a Pan Step 2.jpg
  3. Work out how many kernels you'll need. Remember how big your average piece of popcorn is and use that to work out how many will comfortably fit in your pan.

  4. Add your kernels to the pan (about 2 small handfuls is usually about right) and turn the stove to medium heat.

  5. Put the lid on quickly.[2]

  6. You will soon begin to hear the kernels popping and hitting the sides and lid of the pan. DO NOT TAKE OFF THE LID WHILST THE HEAT IS ON AND POPCORN IS POPPING. When the noise dies down to only 1 or 2 pops every few seconds, turn the heat off and remove the pan from the stove.[3]

  7. Carefully take a peek under the lid. Your popcorn should be good and done, so take off the lid. You will smell the buttery aroma.

  8. If you want sweet popcorn, take sugar or Splenda and sprinkle it over the popcorn (still in the pan). Put the lid back on and give it a gentle shake. The oil should allow the sugar to stick well to the kernels.[4]
    Make Popcorn in a Pan Step 8.jpg
  9. If you prefer cheddar flavoring, do the same thing as you did with the sugar!

  10. Serve.

  11. Finished.
    Make Popcorn in a Pan Step 11.jpg

[Edit]Tips

  • If a lot of the corn didn't pop, chances are you didn't put enough oil in, used too low a heat, or put too much corn in.
  • If you want butter, melt the butter in the pan first instead of using oil.
  • Popping in stainless steel cookware can be tricky to get the heating right without burning, so its best to test a small sample in the pan first, or use a heat diffuser.
  • If you want salty popcorn, do the same as you would for sweet or cheddar popcorn, but use salt instead.

[Edit]Warnings

  • If you take the lid off whilst the pan is on the hob, hot, oil - covered popcorn will fly all over the place.
  • Hot oil and hot pans and cooker hobs are hot. Be especially careful if you're making the popcorn for children.
  • Don't try to make toffee popcorn at home. Chances are you will not succeed in anything but setting the kitchen on fire.
  • Don't make a second batch in the pan if you put sugar or salt in there.

[Edit]Things You'll Need

  • A big pan
  • A big pan lid

[Edit]Related wikiHows

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

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