| How to Hook a Bowling Ball Posted: 03 May 2022 09:00 AM PDT Are you a beginner looking to take that next step and improve your bowling game? If you want to hook a bowling ball, then all you need is to master the proper grip and technique and to follow through. Oh, and you need some time and patience too! Soon enough, your friends will be bowled over by your amazing skills. [Edit]Mastering the Technique - Visualize the line you'll take across the lane. Depending on the lanes you bowl on, this can vary greatly, but let's focus on a typical house condition: most of the oil is on the inside, leaving roughly 8-10 boards of relatively dry lane to be used. These boards can be both friend and enemy to you. Depending on the amount of oil and the way your ball reacts to different lane conditions, you will want to line up your feet slightly to the left-hand side of the lane. Once you get more familiar with your hook, you can adjust your set-up as necessary.
- Starting with your right foot on the middle dot on the approach is a good way to test how much the lanes are hooking. It is important to keep your feet closely together to maintain alignment.
- Stand with your heels several inches from the foul line. Take the amount of steps in your approach away from the lane to determine your starting position. If you have a 4-step approach take 4 steps, etc. You then want to aim to throw your ball at one of the arrows on the lane. The easiest way to aim is to use the arrow markings or the dots that are just before the arrows on the lane.
- For this tutorial, you should start off aiming somewhere around the second arrow on the right, allowing the ball to roll over this arrow, move out to only a few boards from the gutter, and then hook from the dry spot of the lane (about 38 to 40 feet down on a house shot) all the way back to the 1-3 pocket.
- For a left-hander, this would be the 2nd arrow on the left, and the ball would hook to the 1-2 pocket.
- Make the swing. A 4-step approach is recommended, though you can use as little as 1 step and as many as 8 (though most steps over 4 are basically just timing steps where your ball doesn't move). For a 4-step approach:
- Push off the ball on your first step, stepping with your right foot first for right-handed players
- Have the ball be parallel to your ankle at the 2nd step, and start to bend at your knees
- Be at the top of your backswing by your third step
- Bring the ball back through and release by the end of your slide.
- With 5 steps, it's basically the same thing, only you'll start with your left foot instead, and the ball won't move for that first step.
- Keep your arm completely straight the entire way through your swing. Having your arm tucked too far behind you or held too far away from your body will cause a bad angle when you release the ball. It's easiest to keep your arm straight if you adjust your push away.
- There are many different styles, like bending at the waist (a la Walter Ray Williams Jr. or Wes Malott) or opening your shoulders (a la Tommy Jones or Chris Barnes) when you bring your arm up for the backswing, but sticking to the basics is a good idea when first learning how to do this.
- Remember, you want the ball to hook when it gets to the dry area at the back of the lane, but until it gets there, the ball should be traveling a relatively straight path, varying only a few boards at most. Again, everyone has a different style, and you can adjust this as you feel comfortable.
- Time your release. As you begin to drop the ball out of the backswing, make sure that your palm is directly underneath the ball, facing upwards. Now, as the ball starts to approach your ankle, you want to rotate the ball so that when you release your hand, it is on the side of the ball and slightly under it, just as if you were holding a football to throw an underhand spiral. Then follow through as though you were going to be shaking hands with the pins.[1]
- A good way to practice this technique is to actually throw an underhand spiral with a football; similar physics are involved. You can also practice with a tennis ball. If you get it right, it'll go straight and then bounce drastically to the side.
- Follow through. Just as important as the release itself is following through with your arm after you let go of the ball. After release it is important to follow through outward onto the lane, not upward. Your fingers will create the upward lift without you having to lift upward on the ball.[2]
- An easy way to remember this is the old ESPN advert: "Roll the ball, then answer the phone." Though, hopefully you have better form than the guy in that commercial. And remember, fluidity here is essential: don't do the hand-shake, pause slightly, and then do the follow through -- it must all be one smooth motion. A good follow through is crucial to maintaining consistent ball speed and accuracy.
- Make the necessary adjustments. Once you are comfortable with your release and can execute it properly on a consistent basis, you can learn to adjust your footwork in tandem with your release. On a house pattern, you want to move the direction you are missing.
- For a right-hander, if your ball hits high (to the left of the headpin), then try moving your feet a couple of boards to the left and keeping your target on the lane the same as before.
- If you hit the pocket light (to the right of the 3 pin), try moving your feet a couple of boards to the right and keep your target the same. It is important to move your target on the lane when you move your feet. Otherwise you may end up playing very weird angles.
- Once you become more advanced and start playing on more challenging sport lane conditions, the left and right moves become more complicated and sometimes speed and hand adjustments are required.
[Edit]Customizing Your Bowling Ball - Get the right equipment. No matter what you do, if the bowling ball can't catch any friction on the lanes, it's not going to hook. Generally, you need a ball made of Reactive Resin or better (e.g. particle-load or newer epoxy resin cover stocks) for anything but the driest of lanes. These are very easy to find and can be bought at relatively little expense, though resin is more expensive than urethane cover stock and will be an investment in your game.[3] Check out your alley -- how oily are the lanes?
- Though most bowling centers do offer "house balls," they are generally plastic (polyester) and won't hook very much, though they are good for most spares since they will travel very straight.
- Having your own plastic ball for spares (spare ball), and a resin ball for strikes and some spares (spare ball) is a good idea for any level of bowler as house balls don't usually fit your hand perfectly and won't carry pins very well.
- Use the proper grip. When you're getting your ball custom-fitted to your hand, you want to know how you hold the ball, your point of axis, and how your grip lies. Grip the ball with the two middle fingers (the middle and ring fingers) of your dominant hand (i.e. the hand you write with), and place your thumb the whole way into the thumb hole.[4] There are 2 main types of grips:
- Conventional: the middle and ring fingers are inserted up to the second knuckle (this is seen in most house balls)
- Fingertip grip: the same fingers are inserted only up to the first knuckle (fingertip grips will give you more revs than a conventional grip and are easier to hook)
- A new thing out these days in the bowling community are Vacu-Grips. These grips will expand and contract to your finger width; this helps if you are going to bowl a lot. You will find that most of the pros use a fingertip grip as it allows you to get your thumb out of the ball first allowing you to "lift" with your fingers creating revs on the ball.
- Have your ball(s) drilled correctly. This is a personal thing depending on how and where you bowl, so you will need to talk to your local pro-shop operator for advice on this one. The drilling for the ball is very important, if not crucial, so make sure the drilling is appropriate for the conditions you bowl on and your own physical limitations. Obviously, it is critical that your own ball is fitted to your hand, but if you purchase a ball, the pro shop operator will do this as part of the cost of the drilling.
- Talk to your pro-shop guy about your wants -- he may be able to recommend things you don't realize you need. Maybe a fingertip grip? A lower or higher RP differential (lower differential hooks on pearl or matte coverstock, higher on resin)? Or even a different ball or different weight completely!
- This takes some practice and adjusting, so don't give up on it if you don't get it right away.
- Keep the ball close to your ankle at release. Hooking the ball is all about creating leverage. The closer the ball is to your ankle at release, the more your fingers can be under the ball. As your hand rotates around the ball, your fingers "catch" the holes and provide upward force, thus creating spin and revolutions.
- It can help you a great deal to simply watch and learn from some more experienced bowlers, like the pros on the PBA, or even some of the more talented bowlers you might see at your local bowling center. More often than not, they will be willing to give you some friendly advice if you show some interest in their skill.
- When you swing the ball, it is important not to force the swing. It should be a pendulum-like action, allowing gravity to dictate the swing. Should you need more or less ball speed, hold the ball higher or lower before push-off (higher for faster, lower for slower). Trust your ball; there is no need to force it down the lane.
- If your ball has too much speed, it will be harder for it to catch at the dry section of the lane, resulting in a smaller (or no) hook. If your ball doesn't have enough speed, it can hook early, causing you to hit high.
- In addition, there is the Sarge Easter grip. This grip is uncommon and much more advanced. It is designed to help power players control their shot by increasing axis tilt, which helps delay the hook of the ball. Also, tucking your pinky finger and changing your index and pinky finger positions are more advanced techniques that slightly alter the release but are not a good idea for beginners.
- You should consider getting a coach to help you, and see what works best for you.
- Try not to twist your wrist as you release. This will make the ball deflect off the pocket, resulting in a five pin or a nasty split. Keep your hand under the ball and lift with the fingertips.
- While big hooks generate more power, it is important to note that, generally, the bigger the hook is, the more difficult it will be for a beginner to control. Find a happy medium that you feel comfortable with and doesn't compromise your balance. Then you can fine tune your shot to add hook or cut back on it, depending on lane conditions.
[Edit]Warnings - Be very careful when first trying this. If you can, use a lighter weight ball than you're used to at first, just to get the feel for the release. It is also a good idea to have a more experienced bowler or coach watch you while you do it.
- Lane conditions can dictate how much hook potential you have. If you are not making it to the pocket or crossing over onto the Brooklyn side, it may be the lane conditions, therefore don't try to crank the heck out of the ball at first, learn to adjust. It is after all the most important thing in bowling!
- This release is prone to injury if done incorrectly, so again be very careful and try not to over-throw it. As in golf, less is more. It's more about swing mechanics than raw power here. If you "crank" too much it can result in serious wrist, elbow, or shoulder injury.[5]
[Edit]Things You'll Need - A resin bowling ball with a moderate hook rating that is good for the entry level bowler. Once you have learned to hook it, a more aggressive ball may be appropriate.
- A towel, preferably a micro-fiber towel to wipe off oil between shots. Resin bowling balls absorb oil on every shot. Wiping them often and using oil removing cleaner between series will help maintain their longevity. Otherwise they will lose some of their hook and consistency after a few hundred games.
- If you are having trouble keeping your wrist straight you may also need a wrist brace to prevent injury and keep your wrist straight. Wrist braces help create more consistency as they limit your wrist's range of motion. Consult your pro shop to see what size and style will be best for you.
- Bowling shoes. Having your own shoes is important to the consistency of your slide as well as balance and timing.
- A bowling video can help you a lot. Currently, someone has uploaded Walter Ray Williams Jr.'s 3 part video lessons to YouTube under: Walter Ray Williams Jr. video.
- A coach. It is important, especially for beginners, to have a coach. Practicing without one can sometimes lead to the development of bad habits. A few lessons are a good idea for someone just learning to bowl. Coaches are like a human manual that can help you forget your bad habits and maintain good ones.
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| How to Write a Press Release Posted: 03 May 2022 01:00 AM PDT Start a press release with an attention-grabbing headline in bold font. Begin the body copy with the date and city that the release is from. Your lead sentence should be a concise summary of the subject of the release. The rest of the body tells all the important details of your story: who, what, when where why and how. Put the most important information first, followed by more general information, and don't forget to include your contact information at the end. [Edit]Sample Press Releases [Edit]Making it Pop - Write a genuine headline. It should be brief, clear and to the point: an ultra-compact version of the press release's key point. Plenty of PR professionals recommend writing your headline at the end, after the rest of the release is written. If you follow that instruction, continue on and come back to writing the headline once the rest is done. The headline is known as the eye-catcher and is very important to the whole release.[1]
 - wikiHow recognized as most reliable information source. See how that works? Now you want to know more! News release headlines should have a "grabber" to attract journalists, just as a newspaper headline is meant to grab readers. It may describe the latest achievement of an organization, a recent newsworthy event, a new product or service.
- Headlines written in bold! A bold headline also typically uses a larger font size than the body copy. Conventional press release headlines use the present tense and exclude "a" and "the", as well as forms of the verb "to be" in certain contexts.
- First word capitalized. As are all proper nouns. Most headline words appear in lower-case letters, although using a stylized "small caps" font style can create a more graphically news-attractive look and feel. Do not capitalize every word.
- Extract important keywords. The simplest method to create the press release headline is to extract the most important keywords from your press release. From these keywords, try to frame a logical and attention-getting statement. If including a summary sentence after the headline, the same rules apply. Using keywords early will give you better visibility in search engines, and it will be simpler for journalists and readers to get the idea of the press release content. Look at the actions in this first step, and notice how every one of them could be a press release headline.
- Write the body copy. The press release should be written as you want it to appear in a news story. Most journalists are very busy; they may dig deeper into the story if it doesn't sound credible, but they generally won't have time to do extensive research into your company's big announcement. Much of what you write for your press release will be what the journalists use in their writeup of your big event—in other words, if there are important details you want included in the story, you need to include them in the press release.[2]
 - Start with the date and city in which the press release originates. The city may be omitted if it will be confusing –– for example if the release is written in New York about events in the company's Chicago division.
- The lead, or first sentence, should grab the reader and say concisely what is happening. For example, if the headline is "Carpren Publishing releases new WWII novel," the first sentence might be something like, "Carpren Publishing, Ltd., today released their first World War II novel by celebrated writer Darcy Kay." It expands the headline enough to fill in some of the details, and brings the reader further into the story. The next one to two sentences should then expand upon the lead.[3]
- The press release body copy should be compact. Avoid using very long sentences and paragraphs. Avoid repetition and overuse of fancy language and jargon. Strive for simplicity, and no wasted words.
- The first paragraph (two to three sentences) should sum up the press release, and the additional content must elaborate it. In a fast-paced world, neither journalists, nor other readers, would read the entire press release if the start of the article didn't generate interest.
- Deal with actual facts –– events, products, services, people, targets, goals, plans, projects. Try to provide maximum use of concrete facts.[4] This is news. A simple method for writing an effective press release is to make a list of following clarifications: Who, what, when, where, why, and how.
- Communicate the "5 W's" (and the H) clearly. Who, what, when, where, why ––and how–– should tell the reader everything they need to know. Consider the checklist in context with the points below, using the example above to generate our press release:[5]
- Who is this about? Carpren Publishing.
- What is the actual news? Carpren Publishing is releasing a book.
- When does this event happen? Tomorrow.
- Where does this event take place? In all major markets, tomorrow.
- Why this is news? It was written by renowned author, Darcy Kay.
- How is this happening? The main event is at a book signing in Chicago, followed by a book tour to all the major metropolitan areas.
- With the basics defined, fill in the gaps with information about the people, products, items, dates and other things related with the news.
- If your company is not the main subject of the news, but is the source of the press release, make it clear in the body.
- Keep it short and to the point. If you are sending a hard copy, the text should be double-spaced.
- The more newsworthy you make the press release copy, the better the chances of it being selected by a journalist for reporting. Find out what "newsworthy" means to a given market and use this knowledge to hook the editor or reporter.
- Make it clean, crisp, and applicable to your audience. Odds are whoever you sent your press release to has a dozen just like it in his/her inbox just waiting to be ignored. If you want yours to be chosen, it's got to be good. Not only does it have to be good, but it has to be as close to "ready for press" as possible.
- When an editor looks at your piece, he/she is thinking, from the first second, about how long it's going to take them to get it to print. If your work is full of errors, lacking content, or just needs to be revised, they're not going to waste their time. So make sure you have good grammar, all the basics, and have something to write about.
- Why should these people care what you have to say? If you're sending it to the right audience, it'll be obvious. If you're not, well, why are you wasting your time? Give the right people a piece of news (news, not advertising) and you're on the right track.
- They'll care more if you send it in the morning. That gives them time to pad your piece into what they're already working on. Be considerate.
- Tie it together. Provide some extra information links that support your press release.[6] Does the company you're selling have additional information online that readers may find useful? Great. Add it in.
- If you're nervous about what you've got, do some research on what's already out there. Someone probably wrote something on an event just like the one you're covering. PR Web[7] and PR Newswire[8] are good places to start.
[Edit]Mastering the Format - Get the basic structure down. All right, now that you've got the meat of it together, how do you put it onto paper? Well, for starters, cut it to length. It should be a page long at most, if that. No one's going to waste time on 5 paragraphs unless you're covering WWIII. Here's what you need (some of which we've already covered):
- FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE should go at the top of the page, on the left margin.
- If the release is embargoed, put "EMBARGOED UNTIL..." with the date you want the story released. A release with no release date is presumed to be for immediate release.
- The headline, usually in bold, should be centered below that.
- If you'd like, put a subhead in italics (briefly elaborating the headline).
- First paragraph: most important information. May be quite news-like in that, it starts with a date or where the news is coming from.
- Second (and probable third) paragraph: secondary information. Should include quotes and facts.[9]
- Boilerplate information: more on your company. Who are you, really? What achievements do you have? What's your mission?
- Contact information: more on the writer (probably you!). If you grab someone's interest, they'll want to be able to find out more!
- Multimedia: in today's day and age, there's always some Twitter handle to be had.
- Write a boilerplate underneath the body of your release. That means it's time to include information about your company. When a journalist picks up your press release for a story, he or she would logically have to mention the company in the news article. Journalists can then get the company information from this section.
- The title for this section should be "About [XYZ_COMPANY]."
- After the title, use a paragraph or two to describe your company with 5 or 6 lines each. The text must describe your company, its core business and the business policy. Many businesses already have professionally written brochures, presentations, business plans, etc. That introductory text can be put here.
- At the end of this section, point to your website. The link should be the exact and complete URL without any embedding so that, even if this page is printed, the link will be printed as it is. For example: http://www.example.com, not Click here to visit the website.
- Companies which maintain a separate media page on their websites must point to that URL here. A media page typically has contact information and press kits.
- Add your contact information. If your press release is really newsworthy, journalists would surely like more information or would like to interview key people associated with it. If you are comfortable with the idea of letting your key people be contacted directly by media, you can provide their contact details on the press release page itself. For example, in the case of an innovation, you can provide the contact information of your engineering or research team for the media.
- If not, you must provide the details of your media/PR department in the "Contact" section. If you do not have dedicated team for this function, you must appoint somebody who will act as a link between the media and your people.
- The contact details must be limited and specific only to the current press release. The contact details must include:
- The company's official name
- Media department's official name and contact person
- Office address
- Telephone and fax numbers with proper country/city codes and extension numbers
- Mobile phone number (optional)
- Times of availability
- Email addresses
- Website address
- If possible, include a link to an online copy of the same release. It's good practice to keep a log of all of your press releases housed on your own website. This can make providing such a link easier to produce, as well as keeping a record for historical purposes.
- Signal the end of the press release with three # (hash) symbols. Center these directly underneath the last line of the release. This is a journalistic standard. It may look like you're over-tweeting, but you're not. This is how it's done.[10]
- Include a "call to action" in your release. This is information on what you want the public to do with the information that you are releasing. For example, do you want readers to buy a product? If so, include information on where the product is available. Do you want readers to visit your website to enter a contest or learn more about your organization? If so, include the website address or a phone number.
- Do not waste time writing the headline until the release is done. Copy editors write the real headlines in newspapers and magazines, but it is good to come up with a catchy title or "headline" for the release. This headline may be your only chance. Keep it concise and factual. It's a good idea not to write it until after you finish the press release. You don't know yet exactly what you—–or those you interview, will say. When you have finished a draft of the release, you may decide to revise your lead—or not. Then, and only then, think about the headline.
- Use your headline as the subject line of the email. If you've written a good "grabber" headline, this will help your message stand out in the editor's email inbox.
- Research actual press releases on the web to get the feel of the tone, the language, the structure and the format of a press release.
- Avoid using jargon or specialized technical terms. If accuracy requires the use of an industry-specific term, define it.
- Craft each release to target a specific media outlet and send it to the specific reporter who covers that beat. This information can usually be found on the outlet's website. Blasting the identical press release to multiple outlets and multiple reporters at the same outlet is a sign that you are taking shortcuts rather than targeting a specific market.
- The timing of the press release is very important. It must be relevant and recent news, not too old and not too distant.
- A follow-up call can help develop a press release into a full story.
- Include the company name in the headline, any subhead, and in the body of the first paragraph for better visibility via search engines and for news professionals and other readers. If you're mailing a hard copy, you may put it on company letterhead.
- Send your release by email, and use formatting sparingly. Giant type and multiple colors don't enhance your news, they distract from it. Put the release in the body of the email, not as an attachment. If you must use an attachment, make it a plain text or Rich Text Format file. Word documents are acceptable at most outlets, but if you are using the newest version (.docx), save down a version (.doc). Newspapers especially, are on tight budgets now, and many have not upgraded. Use PDF files only if you are sending a full media kit with lots of graphics. Don't type a release on letterhead, then scan it and email a jpeg of the scan––that's a waste of your time and the editor's. Just type the release straight into the email message.
- Include the company name in the headline, any subheadings, and in the body of the first paragraph for better visibility via search engines and for news professionals and other readers. If you're mailing a hard copy, you may put it on company letterhead.
[Edit]Warnings - Always remember that many editing teams are overworked and understaffed. If you can make life easier for them, you're more likely to get coverage. If you write a press release that's close to the way the editor will actually publish it, it may see publication with minimal editing. But if you fill it with fluffy advertising copy, don't use proper AP style, etc., the editor will surely delete this kind of fluff. Everybody says they're the leader. Don't waste the editor's time. The place to put a description is in the company information section of the release. But keep it accurate and factual.
- When emailing a press release, do not make the subject line of your email "press release." You will only blend into the crowd. Get the editor's attention by making the subject line your "grabber" headline, for example, "Brand Co. wins $30 billion government contract."
- Articles should be as up-beat and positive as possible. Avoid phrases like "following the resignation of the previous chairman" or "after a period of inactivity." A journalist could decide to investigate those matters instead of reporting what is in the press release and—–even if the circumstances were completely innocuous, for instance if the chairman had resigned due to ill health—–the resulting copy might not be to your liking.
- Do not include other people's contact details without getting their agreement. In addition, they must be available at all reasonable hours in the days following the release.
- Always include a quote—–ideally from the lead individual involved in the subject matter of the release. The text need not be an actual quote but it should be plausible. Either way, it is essential to check that the person being quoted is happy with it. A quote allows a busy journalist to prepare a complete article without doing a follow-up interview.
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| How to Hold a Spoon Posted: 02 May 2022 05:00 PM PDT Although proper spoon use varies from culture to culture, you can learn a universal way to hold a spoon to allow for the widest field of motion. The trick is to rest the spoon on your bottom three fingers and allow your wrist to do most of the work. [Edit]Gripping Your Spoon Properly - Use your dominant hand. Most people use their right hand when reaching for a spoon.[1] However, you want to be able to control your motions carefully. Therefore, it's best to use your dominant hand.
- Be careful if you're sitting next to someone whose dominant hand is different from your own. Be conscientious of your movements to avoid accidentally knocking elbows with them.
- Hold the spoon horizontally. You want to hold your spoon horizontally as you move it. This will prevent food from spilling while you eat. Keep your spoon steady with the first knuckle of your index finger and the tip of your middle finger, holding it at a horizontal angle.[2]
- Rest the handle across your middle finger.[3] Curl your middle finger, ring finger, and pinky fingers inward and lay the handle of the spoon overtop the middle finger, with the dome of the spoon pointing towards your other hand. Rest the portion of the spoon's handle right before the head on your index finger. Allow the end of the handle to rest on the curve made by your thumb.[4]
- Hold the spoon in place with your thumb and index finger.[5] Place your thumb and index finger on top of the end of the spoon. Press down on the end so that the spoon is held between the top of your middle finger and your thumb and index finger. This should keep the spoon secure while you're eating and drinking.[6]
[Edit]Eating with a Spoon - Turn your wrist to dip the spoon. Holding the spoon like this allows you a greater field of motion. When you turn your wrist away from you the spoon will dip downwards, into your food, and when you turn it towards you, the spoon will turn back up.
- This is a more flexible position than if you held the spoon in, say, a fist, or between your thumb and index finger.
- Use the side of the spoon. Bring the spoon to your mouth and eat from the broad side of the spoon, rather than the tip. You can use your wrist here to tilt the spoon upwards to aid in eating.[7]
- Sit up straight when you eat.[8] Although you may be tempted to lean forward while eating soup, it's better etiquette to sit with your back at a 90-degree angle. Instead of bending over, bring the spoon to where you are.[9]
- Eat slowly and gently. Foods that you eat with a spoon are frequently liquid based. It is easy to make slurping noises when eating with a spoon. To minimize noise when eating, eat very slowly. Make sure to open your mouth wide enough to get food in without having to resort to slurping.[10]
- Eating food slowly will also help you best enjoy the taste and texture of your food.
- Keep your grip firm. Make sure to grip firmly on your spoon when you eat. Keeping a loose grip can cause you to drop your spoon, which can cause a mess and loud noises. Keep your grip firm enough that the spoon does not wobble in your hands while you eat.[11]
[Edit]Following Proper Etiquette - Use your spoon for the right dishes. Spoons are used to eat liquid-based food, such as soups. Spoons are also used to eat mushier, softer foods such as ice cream and mashed potatoes. Use your spoon for these types of foods and avoid using it to eat solid foods. It can be hard to maneuver foods like meats and vegetables using a spoon.[12]
- Place your spoon on your plate when finished. When you're done, it's customary to set your spoon down on your plate. Always plate your spoon on the plate from which you were eating. If you were eating soup, place the spoon on the plate your soup bowl was resting on.[13]
- In general, you should not place your spoon back in a bowl when you finish eating. This could confuse waitstaff, as they may think you're still eating. However, if no plate was provided, it's okay to put your spoon back in the bowl. You do not want to get food residue on the table.
- Do not use your fingers. Never push food onto your spoon using your fingers. This is considered bad table manners. If you have to push food to eat with a spoon, it is probably better to use a fork for this type of food.[14]
- Avoid pointing with your spoon. Never use your spoon to point at other guests while talking or otherwise gesticulating. Only use your spoon for eating. If you're using your hands to do things like gesticulate while at the table, set your spoon down while doing so.[15]
- If you are finishing a bowl of soup it is considered proper to tip the bowl away from your body, rather than toward. This way drips are less likely to splash on your clothing.
- Most soup spoons are not designed to fit inside the mouth. Instead you must elegantly sip the soup from the bowl of the spoon.
- Do not be too noisy when consuming the item off the spoon. 'Slurping' soup and other items can be considered rude in some countries.
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| How to Break Up with Your Friend Posted: 02 May 2022 09:00 AM PDT Many people have been through a breakup with a significant other, but breaking up with a friend can be even harder. When you have a fight you know you can't resolve or you just don't have that much in common anymore, it's time to pull the plug. You can let the friendship fade out naturally, have a confrontation with your friend, or cut things off cold turkey. No matter what, it helps to be prepared to deal with the feelings you'll experience when it's finally over. [Edit]Confronting the Person - Arrange a time and place to meet up. When you don't want to keep the person guessing about why you don't want to be friends, a face to face conversation might be in order. Parks and coffee shops are good stops for breakups because they're neutral, public locations. Even though things might get emotional during your conversation, you'll both be likely to keep things contained if you're in a public place.
- Avoid arranging to have a long meal together, since you might be ready to go before the food even arrives.
- If you don't want to meet in person, it's fine to break up with your friend over the phone. Avoid doing it over text, since it's harder to express yourself fully and have a real conversation.
- Do not break up with your friend in front of people you both know. This can be deeply embarrassing and hurtful.
- Tell your friend why you're ending it. Be straightforward about why you don't want to be friends. Did your friend cheat with your boyfriend? Does he or she constantly cut you down? Whatever the reason, now is the time to spell it out. Telling your friend exactly what's going on is a brave thing to do, and in the end the person will probably be glad to know what happened.[1][2]
- It's always best to have a conversation, if possible. Ghosting can be devastating to another person.[3]
- There is a situation in which being straightforward is not the kindest way to end a friendship. If you just don't like the person anymore, through no fault of his or her own, there's really no reason to say it out loud. If this is the case, go to Method 2 and let the friendship naturally fade.
- Give your friend a chance to talk. Your friend will either get defensive, apologize, or do a mix of both after your confrontation. You might want to hear him or her out, just in case there's the tiniest chance that you want to stay friends after all. If it's possible there was some kind of misunderstanding, you'll want to know. If that's not possible, continue the breakup process.[4]
- Set boundaries. Maybe you want to cut things off for good right here and now, or maybe you're fine seeing the person every now and then in a group setting. Whatever the case, be very clear that this is a breaking point, and from now on things will be different. Lay out your boundaries up front so you won't be tempted to back down later.[5]
- If you never want to talk again, tell the person you won't be in touch after this and that you don't want to hear from him or her, either.
- If you're still fine hanging out in a group but you don't want to have one-on-one talks, it's fine to say that. It's also fine to say that you might be open to renewing the friendship later, but only if you mean it. Otherwise the person might keep trying to get in touch when you just want to be left alone. Just be crystal clear about your expectations so your former friend won't get confused.
- If your friend truly respects you, they'll respect the boundaries that you're setting up.[6]
- Stick to your boundaries. If the person tries to get in touch or win you back over, don't respond. You've said your piece, you've heard the person out, and now your obligation as a friend is over. Just like when you break up with a significant other, breaking up with a friend means you don't have to be responsible for that person anymore.
- This is easier said than done. If your former friend is really upset, it might be extremely hard to ignore his or her calls and texts. If you're serious about breaking up this friendship, don't let the person cross your boundaries. You'll just give him or her the wrong impression and make things harder in the future.
- Remember—you have nothing to feel guilty about![7]
[Edit]Letting it Naturally Fade - If you're growing apart, don't fight it. The fade-out method is best for a situation in which you and your friend are simply growing apart.[8] Maybe there's no concrete reason you don't like the person anymore; you're just interested in other things and other people. Start spending your time how you want to spend it, hanging out with people and doing activities you enjoy. Chances are, your friend will do the same, and you'll start drifting apart without having to make a big deal about it.
- Stop calling and texting your friend. To break up a friendship, you need to slow down communication. Stop getting in touch with your friend to make plans or just to talk. Stop initiating chats online, text conversations, and any other contact. You can still chat when you see him or her in person, like if you both go out with the same group of friends, but avoid unnecessary contact.[9]
- When two friends are naturally ready to part ways, it's not difficult to be in touch less often. You'd probably both rather be doing other things, anyway, so it won't feel like a big sacrifice not to talk much more than you need to.
- On the other hand, if your friend isn't feeling the same way you are about the friendship, being in touch less may hurt his or her feelings. Unfortunately it's really hard to avoid hurt feelings when you're ending a friendship. You'll have to decide whether you still want to end it either way.
- Keep conversations light. Friends get closer by having deep, revealing conversations during which they get to know each other really well. To pull away from a friend, stop having big heart-to-hearts. When you talk, stick to shallow, surface topics, just like you would with an acquaintance. If you keep talking like friends, it'll be harder for the friendship to fade.
- If your friend tends to want to talk about private matters, like her relationship with her boyfriend, steer the conversation in a safer direction. Change the subject so she doesn't get the chance to tell you her deepest feelings.
- Eventually your friend will start to notice that you don't talk the way you used to. He or she may call you out on it or decide to withdraw, too. Be prepared for either reaction.
- Politely decline invitations. It might take awhile for your friend to catch on to the fact that you're just not into the friendship anymore. A sure way to create some distance[10] is to decline invitations politely, but firmly. If the invitation is for a group activity, you might want to participate, but avoid one-on-one outings. You'll just lead the other person on.
- Again, if the other person isn't ready for this to end, declining his or her invitations is going to cause some hurt. It's up to you to decide whether the nicer thing to do is be more straightforward about why you keep saying "no" every time he or she invites you to do something.
- Make excuses if you need to. If you really don't want to tell the person the truth, deflect invitations with excuses. Say you're busy, you have relatives in town, you have too much homework, and so on. This could be seen as the easy way out, since it's not a very honest way to behave toward someone who was a friend. However, if you have a good reason to end the friendship and really don't want to deal with a confrontation, making excuses is pretty effective.
- Gradually let the friendship come to a stop. Best case scenario, the person catches on that you've moved on from the friendship and decides to go his or her own way. However, if the former friend asks you what's going on, you may want to give him or her an explanation. Be ready for this reaction, since it could be the case that you mean more to your former friend than he or she means to you.
- Consider the silent treatment for an abusive friendship. If the person you want to break up with has been physically or emotionally abusive or manipulative, you don't owe that person anything; even politeness. Just stop all contact, unfriend the person on your social media accounts, and avoid seeing the person when you don't have to.
- If you try to have a conversation with the person about it, he or she may end up making you feel like you are the one who did something wrong. Don't get wrapped up in that drama. If you know the person is going to make things hard for you, just cut it off cold turkey.
[Edit]Handling the Aftermath - Deal with your former friend's emotions. Being dumped is not easy, whether you deserve it or not. Be prepared for your friend to cry, beg for you to be friends again, or even get extremely angry. You were strong enough to breakup with your friend, and you're strong enough to deal with the aftermath. Try not to let yourself get wrapped up in the person's emotions.[11] Remember to stick to your boundaries and cut off all contact if necessary.
- Beware of passive-aggressive behavior. Sometimes a former friend will try to make your life harder in small, passive aggressive ways. This is especially true if you go to school together or work in the same place and have to see each other frequently. The person might try to turn others against you, spread gossip about you, or make you look bad somehow. Stay strong and realize that if someone behaves so horribly, your decision to end the friendship was right on.[12]
- If the behavior escalates from passive-aggressive to just plain aggressive, you may need to take further action. Talk to your teachers or supervisors if it's happening at work or school. See if you can provide evidence that you are being targeted.
- You may have legal options as well. If the person won't leave you alone and his or her behavior constitutes harassment,[13] you may want to file a restraining order.
- Realize this might affect other friendships, too. Breaking up with one friend often affects the people you both knew. If you were both part of the same larger friend group, things might be pretty awkward for awhile. Hopefully your other friends won't take sides, but if they do, you know who your real friends are.
- Take care of yourself. You'll probably feel a sense of freedom after breaking up with a bad friend. Even so, breakups are often tough. It's emotionally difficult to let someone down, and the consequences can last much longer than expected. After the friendship is officially over, make a point of spending time with people who make you feel good. Surround yourself with loved ones and try to put the old friendship out of your mind.
- You may also feel surprisingly sad to lose the good parts of the friendship with the person you broke up with. After all, you were friends for a reason, even if your relationship eventually turned bad. Sadness is totally normal in this situation.
- Burn your bridges carefully. It can be very hard to restart a friendship, so be certain you want to end things if that's the path you pick.
- Don't say it in a rude way because that person also has feelings.
- Don't feel bad if your friend wasn't being a good friend. That's not your fault.
- If you break up your friendship with someone and you feel sad, that's okay, let the emotions out. Don't be afraid to show how you feel. It's perfectly natural.
- Remember that all relationships are volunteer situations. You are not required to continue any relationship.
- Be firm with what you say to avoid confusion.
- Ask advice from your family members or other friends, especially people who know your friend well and may be able to add additional insight to your situation. They may be able to give you help for your individual setting.
- When you tell that person how you feel, it'll be painful after the break up, but do things that make you happy. Eventually, you'll make a new best friend.
- Be very careful if you both have mutual friends, he/she could bad-mouth you to your friends. Be especially careful if you're an adult and you're at work with the person. He/she may bad talk about you to someone with higher authority than you.
- Stand your ground. If your friend asks why you are breaking up with them, don't make up a reason. Stay firm.
- Stay calm and don't take revenge on them or keep arguing with them.
- Mutual friends may feel the need to pick sides, so be prepared to discuss your feelings or possibly lose other friends.
- The most important part of any relationship is the exchange of energy. If anyone leaves you feeling drained or uncomfortable and you can get away then please do. Give yourself the energy you have been giving the other and you will begin to feel better!
- Don't fall into self-doubt. If your ex-friend tries to make you feel guilty or tries to manipulate you into feeling bad, try your best to not believe them. Consult someone you trust if you want reassurance that you're not in the wrong.
- If they come back to you wanting to be friends, politely say no. You broke up with that person for a reason. You'll only hurt your self more, when you have to re-break up with them.
- If you don't feel comfortable confronting your friend on your own, consult a school counselor or peer mediator who can be a neutral third-party to help with the conversation.
- Send a letter or an e-mail if you don't feel comfortable having a face-to-face conversation.
- Don't break up with a friend who really wants to stay with you, because maybe, she/he is the right friend for you, and you simply missed the chance of having a real friend. Choose those people whom you wanted to break up with.
- Your friend will probably try to make you feel bad and think that it's all your fault. If you know deep down that you didn't do anything wrong then he/she's just trying to manipulate you. Stay strong and courageous.
- To avoid the hassle of the aftermath, unfriend them on any social media where other people on their side can help blow out you of proportion.
- You may feel guilty, but if you know you made the right decision for yourself, stand by it.
- If your reasons are superficial, such as wanting to become popular don't do it, it's really selfish.
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