| How to Use Yoga for Anger Management Posted: 07 Jan 2017 04:00 PM PST Many of us feel anger, irritability and frustration throughout the course of our daily lives. Exercise can be a great daily treatment to release those feelings. If you find yourself getting angry often, yoga can help you to manage the feeling while you are at work or at home, between your workouts. Yoga can help both with calming you down when you feel angry in the moment and with managing anger in the longterm. EditAddressing Anger Through Yoga Practice - Develop a regular practice. Practicing yoga regularly will go a long way toward helping you manage your anger long term. If you have a particularly hostile or irritable personality type, practicing regularly will help reinforce the short term benefits from merely practicing a pose once or twice or going to a class once. You need not go to a class to practice basic yoga, but you might want to go to a class in order to learn more advanced poses.[1][2]
- Try to go to class or practice a routine at least three times a week.[3]
- Practice for an hour to an hour and a half when possible. If you can't, even 10 to 20 minutes of yoga at a time can bring down stress levels.[4]
- Join a class if you are beginner. Sometimes it can be helpful for beginners to practice yogas with other to get the hang of the types of routines they can try. It is also helpful to assuaging anger if you are feeling the support of the group when practicing yoga. However, if you have a competitive personality, practicing in a group might undermine your efforts.[5]
- Watch online videos to develop your practice. For beginners and more advanced students, watching videos can help you develop a practice as they often include routines that last anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour or more. There are plenty of yogis out there with different styles such as Adriene of the YouTube channel "Yoga with Adriene" which is calm but cheerful, or more exercise focused like Brian Jones of the YouTube channel "Muscle and Mat".[6]
- Adriene even has a video that demonstrates yoga for when you feel angry.[7][8]
- Practice focusing on your breath. Focus on the breath is a central part of yoga practice. It is essential to focus on your breath to get the most out of the yoga poses you are trying. The deeper the breath the better. Take your time, and continue the exercise until you feel calmer.[9]
- Keep a yoga journal or spiritual diary. Keeping a yoga journal allows you to see over time how yoga is affecting your overall anger. It can also be a place to document the pleasures and frustrations of yoga after your regular practice.[10][11] In addition, writing can reduce the intensity of your anger.[12]
EditTrying Specific Poses for Anger Management - Do the corpse pose (Savasana). With the corpse pose, you lie on your back with your palms up, arms at your side. Then you relax each part of your body in turn. While doing all of this, focus on your breathing. Breathe deeply into your belly. This is a pose that is best done with your eyes closed or relaxed.[13]
- Release anger with Sheetali Pranayama (cooling breath). The cooling breath is an excellent way to address anger.[14] You simply roll your tongue (curling in the edges) or purse your lips if you can't roll your tongue, and inhale slowly through your mouth so that the breath comes through your rolled up tongue. Then, close your mouth and exhale through your nose. This practice is thought to reduce anger and improve focus.[15]
- Try a half twist pose (Ardha Matsyendrasana). This pose was thought to wring out anger by early Buddhist monks. It massages the internal organs and stretches your spine.[16] You can accomplish pose by sitting with both legs ahead of you then bending one knee up while bending the other on the ground underneath the other leg. You then twist your spine toward the side where the knee is up and use the knee as a rest for your arm as you stretch further into the pose. Don't push yourself. If you feel pain, relax a bit.[17][18]
- Do a back bend or the Upward Bow pose (Urdhva Dhanurasana). This pose has been shown to improve confidence in people with hostile or irritable personality types, as well as reduce anger. While there are several ways to achieve a back bend in yoga, the Upward Bow pose is the most common, as it is what people usually think of when they think of back bends. This is a somewhat advanced pose, and you may do well to learn it with a qualified yoga instructor.[19][20]
- Do a shoulder stand (Salamba Sarvangasana). It can help stabilize the nervous system, helping people who struggle with anger issues or who have a hostile personality to reduce their anger and irritability. It builds strength and flexibility, and helps the thyroid and parathyroid glands.[21][22]
EditBreathing Deeply to Release Anger - Breathe deeply. Breathing has long been a central part of yoga. Focusing on your breath before, during, and after yoga sessions will greatly benefit anger management. Breathing deeply is also good for other negative emotions, as it physiologically calms you down. Make sure to breathe deep into your diaphragm. You should be able to feel/see your belly rise and fall while doing this.[23][24]
- Relax your body. Take time to relax your muscles from head to toe, one by one. This will help release tension in parts of your body you may not have realized were even there. Don't rush. Take your time.[25]
- If you feel like you are having trouble slowing down, then you can also do a guided body scan meditation that will take you through all the parts of your body.[26]
- Feel your anger. This is not about thinking about the anger. Rather you just need to stay with the emotion. Feel all of it. Notice where you feel it in your body. Notice the intensity. Don't judge the feelings. If thoughts do arise, acknowledge them and then return to noticing your emotions.[27]
- Allow the anger to be there. Stay with it as long as you need to. Eventually, with all the mindful noticing, the anger will begin to dissipate. If it begins to dissipate, don't fight it. Instead, try to let it go.[28]
- Try focusing on your breathing instead of focusing on what you are angry about.[29]
- Breathe! It's really the most important part of your yoga practice.
- Developing a regular (maybe even daily) yoga practice will help with your anger.
- Even fitting a tiny yoga session (5 to 10 minutes) into your schedule will be beneficial.
- Yoga for anger management can be used alone, but will likely work best with therapy and/or other treatments.
- For the more difficult poses, it's best to work under the guidance of a yoga teacher.
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| How to Help a Friend Cope With Rejection Posted: 07 Jan 2017 08:00 AM PST Rejection is a universal human experience, and yet it's surprisingly painful. If your friend is going through rejection, you can help support him through attentive listening, and putting his rejection into perspective. For some people, rejection can trigger depression; knowing the signs of clinical depression can help you better support your friend as he copes. EditBeing a Good Listener - Don't offer feedback if your friend hasn't asked for it. If your friend has just been rejected, she may not want to hear the things she could improve on in order to improve her odds next time. While there may be things that she's said or done that contributed to the rejection, or her even if her job loss or her relationship with the boyfriend wasn't ideal, unsolicited advice may be difficult for your friend to benefit from at this time.[1]
- For example, this isn't the time to remind her that she spent a lot of time complaining about the job she just lost, or the man who just broke up with her.
- Rejection can hurt regardless of the circumstance, so being a good listener is an effective way to help a friend cope with this initial sting.
- If your friend says that she doesn't know what she's doing wrong, and asks you for help figuring it out, then you might offer a gentle suggestion.
- Help your friend reframe the rejection. You don't want to be too quick to talk about the "opportunity for growth" inherent in a rejection, but at the same time you might help your friend find ways to benefit from the experience. There are always positive aspects to any situation. Sometimes it takes a friend to help you find them.[2]
- For example, if she didn't get the job she wanted, now she'll be able to attend the family vacation she'd been looking forward to.
- Being single means having more freedom. Having a story rejected for publication means being able to submit it somewhere else.
- Reflect your friend's emotions. One way of supporting your friend is to help him navigate his pain. Ask him how he's feeling, and affirm that his feelings are okay. If he knows that he can share painful things with you as a friend, without being rejected, this may help him feel better.[3]
- Saying things like, "It sounds like you're pretty broken up about things," can help him feel supported.
- Be willing to sit in silence. If your friend was deeply wounded by the rejection, she may not have words to articulate how she feels. She might just want to sit quietly with you. Being present and showing that you're ready to listen when she's ready to talk will be enough.[4]
- You can always offer a hug, or a gentle supportive touch.
- Talking about something other than the rejection, or doing an activity together are other ways you can offer support for a friend who's not ready to talk about her feelings yet. For example, try going on a hike, or playing video games together.
EditPutting the Rejection Into Perspective - Give your friend credit for trying. Rejection is a side-effect of trying something new and brave. Even if it ultimately didn't work out — the guy stopped calling, she didn't get the role in the play, she was turned down for a promotion — she deserves credit for trying to get what she wanted.[5]
- It can help to remind her of the chances she had of rejection. For example, writers often paper their walls with rejection letters because they are so common. Even famous writers collect hundreds of rejection slips before publication.
- If the rejection was for something that had a low chance of rejection — an anticipated job offer, for instance — you can remind her that although she didn't get it this time, she can try again.
- Remind your friend that rejection is common. After all, everyone experiences rejection, repeatedly, over the course of a lifetime. Going out for the team, applying for colleges, trying to get the perfect job, or asking out the person you've been into all summer are all opportunities for rejection.[6]
- Even though every rejection feels personal, most of the time it's just a matter of bad timing.
- It really doesn't matter how smart, funny or talented you are — everyone will experience rejection. If it helps, find people who've eventually succeeded and look at the number of rejections they experienced.
- Consider sharing your own rejection experiences. It can be helpful to remind your friend that he's not the only one who's had rejection. Sharing your own rejections — the jobs you were fired from, the rejection slips you've received, the relationships that didn't work out — can help your friend feel more normal and less alone.[7]
- At the same time, you'll need to be aware that your friend's experience might be very different from your own. Don't talk too much about yourself, and don't claim to know what your friend is feeling.
- Never say, "You will…" or "You should.." to encourage your friend. Although these phrases might seem supportive to you, they're likely to be misunderstood by someone trying to cope with rejection.
- Instead, you can share how you coped with a rejection experience similar to what your friend is experiencing, and then state that everyone has their own way to cope with rejection.
- Talk about your friend's good qualities. While your friend may have qualities that could use improvement, she certainly has positive qualities too. Remind her of what others appreciate about her. Offer specific examples that she can't argue with.
- For example, reminding your friend of her great sense of humor right after she's cracked a dark joke about her situation can help her notice the truth of your statement.
- Don't go overboard on compliments, or say things that you don't really believe. Your friend will pick up on your insincerity.
- Don't encourage your friend to keep hoping. Being able to accept the rejection will help your friend move on to the next chapter in his life. If you're helping hims to cope with the rejection, take the rejection at face value.[8]
- No one can predict the future. Maybe the person offered the job will refuse it, and he's next in line. Or maybe his ex will change her mind. But holding out hope for a dramatic turnaround isn't productive or practical.
- You don't have to insist that he definitely won't be offered the job, or that his ex won't be changing her mind. Simply stay quiet, without agreeing. He'll get the message.
- Help your friend see that rejection isn't personal. Rejection is a universal experience: some people will like us, some people won't, and there's very little we can do about it. Not every person we fall in love with will feel the same way; we won't get every job that we want.[9]
- Encourage your friend to divert her attention to someone who might return her affection.
- Remind your friend of what she's done recently that has earned positive attention and praise.
- Look for ways to lift his spirits. What are some of the things that your friend used to enjoy before the rejection? Find ways to get him interested in some of these things again. Make a point of spending time together, going on hikes, watching sports games together, or going to movies.[10]
- If the rejection meant a loss of income, your friend may be financially stressed. Make sure that you're finding things to do together that don't require money, which may only make him feel worse.
- Try to avoid doing things together that might trigger memories of the rejection.
EditWatching for Signs of Depression - Look for any significant changes in behavior. Some of the signs of depression include getting angry about small things, or being uncharacteristically moody and irritable. Changes in sleep patterns, such as sleeping too much or not being able to sleep, can signal depression.[11]
- Your friend may not seem like herself, even long after she should be "over" the rejection.
- You may notice loss of interest in things that she once enjoyed.
- Notice increased interest in death. If your friend is starting to talk about death and dying, listen carefully. Saying things like, "I might as well be dead," or "Why don't I just end it all and put everyone out of their misery," may signal suicidal thoughts, even if said lightly.
- If you believe your friend is in any risk of harming himself (or someone else) you should talk to him directly about this. Ask him, "Are you thinking of hurting yourself?" He may deny it, but he may be grateful for the opportunity to talk.
- If you feel that he's unsafe and in a crisis situation, you should call 911 for emergency support.
- Encourage him to seek help. If your friend is suffering from clinical depression, he may not be able to recover without treatment. Talk to him about what you've noticed, and explain why you're concerned for him. [12]
- Let him know that you're willing to help him make an appointment, or attend a support group.
- Remember that you can't force him to seek help. If he's not ready to seek treatment, let him know that you'll be available to help him whenever she is ready.
- Stay alert for warning signs of suicide. The warning signs of suicide are too often recognized only in hindsight, but they're surprisingly common. If your friend is experiencing untreated depression following her experience of rejection, she may be at risk of suicide. If you notice significant increase in the signs below, talk to a medical professional or counselor immediately. If this is an emergency situation, call 911. Some warning signs include:
- Obtaining the means to commit suicide, such as stockpiling medicines (for an overdose) or purchasing a gun.
- Sharply increased use of drugs or alcohol.
- Giving away one's belongings, or taking urgent steps to get all affairs in order, when there's no apparent need to do so.
- Saying goodbye to people as if they won't be seen again.
- Doing very risky or self-destructive things.
- Showing signs of personality changes, severe agitation or anxiety, especially in combination with some of the signs listed above.
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| How to Detect a Remote Access to My Computer Posted: 07 Jan 2017 12:00 AM PST Few things are scarier than an active intrusion on your computer. If you believe that your computer is currently under the control of a hacker, the first thing you should do is disconnect completely from the internet. Once you're safely disconnected, you can search for the entry point that the hacker used to access your system and remove it. After your system has been safely locked down, you can take steps to prevent more intrusions in the future. EditStopping an Intrusion - Be aware that your computer may appear to turn on without input to install updates. Many modern computers are set to install system updates automatically, usually at night when the computer is not being used. If your computer appears to turn on without your input when you're not using it, it is likely waking from Sleep mode to install updates.
- The chances of your specific computer being remotely accessed, while not impossible, are very low. You can take steps to help prevent intrusions.
- Check for the obvious signs of remote access. If your mouse is moving without your control, programs are being opened in front of your eyes, or files are actively being deleted, you may have an intruder. If you have an active intrusion, your first step should be to power down your computer immediately and remove any Ethernet cables.
- Slow internet or unfamiliar programs are not necessarily the result of someone gaining remote access to your computer.
- Many programs that update automatically will appear or generate pop-ups during the update process.
- Disconnect your computer from the internet. If you suspect an intrusion, you'll need to disconnect from the internet immediately. You'll want to completely disconnect from the internet and your network, to prevent any further access and to prevent any other machines on your network from getting infected.
- Unplug any Ethernet cables connected to your computer, and disable any wireless connections.
- Open your Task Manager or Activity Monitor. These utilities can help you determine what is currently running on your computer.
- Windows - Press .
- Mac - You can find the Activity Monitor in the Utilities folder in your Applications directory.
- Look for remote access programs in your list of running programs. Look for the following programs in your list of currently-running programs, as well as any programs that look unfamiliar or suspicious. These programs are popular remote access programs that may have been installed without your permission:
- VNC, RealVNC, TightVNC, UltraVNC, LogMeIn, GoToMyPC, and TeamViewer
- Look for any programs that seem suspicious or that you don't recognize either. You can perform a web search for the process name if you aren't sure what a program is.
- Look for unusually high CPU usage. You'll see this in the Task Manager or the Activity Monitor. While high CPU usage is common, and is not indicative of an attack, high CPU usage while you're not using your computer could indicate that processes are running in the background, which you may have not authorized. Be aware that high CPU usage could just be a program updating or a torrent downloading in the background that you forgot about.
- Run a scan with your antivirus program. You should have an active antivirus program already installed, even if it's just Windows Defender. Open your antivirus and run a scan of your entire system. This scan may take an hour or so to complete.
- If you don't have an antivirus, download an installer on another computer and transfer it to your computer via USB. Install the antivirus and then run a scan with it.
- Remove any items found by your anti-virus. If your antivirus finds malicious software on your computer, make sure that you quarantine it using the methods provided by the anti-virus. This will prevent these malicious programs from continuing to affect your computer.
- Download and install Malwarebytes Anti-Malware. This is a secondary scanner that will find things that your antivirus may have missed. You can download it for free from .
- Since your computer is currently disconnected from the internet, you'll need to download the installer on another computer and transfer it to your computer via USB drive.
- Scan your computer with Anti-Malware. The scan will likely take about half an hour to complete. Anti-Malware will look for intrusive programs that may be controlling your computer.
- Quarantine any items that are found. If Anti-Malware detects any items during the scan, quarantining them will prevent them from affecting your system anymore.
- Download and run the Malwarebytes Anti-Rootkit Beta. You can get this program for free from . This will detect and remove "rootkits," which are malicious programs that exist deep in your system files. The program will scan your computer, which may take a while to complete.[1]
- Monitor your computer after removing any malware. If your antivirus and/or Anti-Malware found malicious programs, you may have successfully removed the infection, but you'll need to keep a close eye on your computer to ensure that the infection hasn't remained hidden.
- Change all of your passwords. If your computer was compromised, then there's a possibility that all of your passwords have been recorded with a keylogger. If you're sure the infection is gone, change the passwords for all of your various accounts. You should avoid using the same password for multiple services.
- Log out of everything everywhere. After changing your passwords, go through each account and log off completely. Make sure that you log out of any device that is currently using the account. This will ensure that your new passwords will take effect and others will not be able to use the old ones.
- Perform a full system wipe if you can't get rid of the intrusion. If you're still experiencing intrusions, or are concerned that you may still be infected, the only way to be sure is to completely wipe your system and reinstall your operating system. You'll need to back up any important data first, as everything will be deleted and reset.
- When backing up any data from an infected machine, make sure to scan each file before backing it up. There's always a chance that reintroducing an old file can lead to a re-infection.
- See Wipe Clean a Computer and Start Over for instructions on formatting your Windows or Mac computer and reinstalling the operating system.
EditPreventing Future Intrusions - Ensure your antivirus software is updated and active. An up-to-date antivirus program will detect most attacks before they can happen. Windows comes with a program called Windows Defender that is a competent antivirus that updates automatically and works in the background. There are also several free programs available, such as BitDefender, avast!, and AVG. You only need one antivirus program installed.
- See Turn on Windows Defender for instructions on enabling Windows Defender on your Windows computer.
- See Install an Antivirus for instructions on installing an antivirus program if you don't want to use Defender. Windows Defender will automatically deactivate if you install another antivirus program.
- Make sure your firewall is properly configured. If you're not running a web server or running some other program that requires remote access to your computer, there is no reason to have any ports open. Most programs that require ports will use UPnP, which will open ports as necessary and then close them again when the program isn't in use. Keeping ports open indefinitely will leave your network open to intrusions.
- Be very careful with email attachments. Email attachments are one of the most common ways for viruses and malware to get onto your system. Only open attachments from trusted senders, and even then, make sure that the person intended to send you the attachment. If one of your contacts has been infected with a virus, they may send out attachments with the virus without knowing it.
- Make sure your passwords are strong and unique. Each and every service or program you use that is password-protected should have a unique and difficult password. This will ensure that a hacker cannot use the password from one hacked service to access another. See Manage Your Passwords for instructions on using a password manager to make things easier for you.
- Try to avoid public Wi-Fi spots. Public Wi-Fi spots are risky because you have zero control over the network. You can't know if someone else using the spot is monitoring traffic to and from your computer. By doing this, they could gain access to your open browser session or worse. You can mitigate this risk by using a VPN whenever you are connected to a public Wi-Fi spot, which will encrypt your transfers.
- See Configure a VPN for instructions on setting up a connection to a VPN service.
- Be vary wary of programs downloaded online. Many "free" programs that you find online come with extra software that you likely did not want. Pay close attention during the installation process to ensure that you decline any additional "offers." Avoid downloading pirated software, as this is a common way for viruses to infect your system.[2]
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