| How to Maintain a Work Life Balance Posted: 02 Jan 2017 04:00 PM PST Want a perfect career and a happy and healthy family? If you want both, you need to find a balance. This means getting your priorities in order, making strategic decisions ahead of time, and making efficient use of your time. EditHaving the Proper Mindset - Decide what is important to you. Is work or family more important? Both are necessary, so you'll need to make conscious choices as to how you balance your time and commitments.
- It's all about perspective.[1] Sometimes just a small change in the way you view things can make a difference. Set your priorities in order. Aim for contentment rather than overfilling the bank. Plan holidays. Surprise your significant other. Go to a football game with the kids and at the same time put your heart and soul into your work during office hours.
- Have work goals. You don't want to feel smothered by a dead-end job, do you? Think of realistic goals for yourself to achieve at work. When you succeed at work, the rewards will spill over into your family life. Work goals range from short-term to long-term.[2]
- Have short-term goals. What do you hope to accomplish in the next month? Do you want to increase efficiency in your department? Try to approach old problems in novel ways. No problem is too small for reconsideration when it comes to efficiency. Do you want to make some slight change in the work environment? Make your goals known no matter how small. Upper management loves to see people take charge.
- Have long-term goals. Most of these will take years to accomplish, but having a long-term goal or several will help motivate you to make the most of your time at work. Do you want to advance up the professional ladder? Do you want a raise? Think about where you'd like to be in 5 years. If your answer is: "not in this job." Then you probably need to start thinking of strategies to help realize your goals.
- Have goals for life too. If you have goals at home too, they can positively affect your work life. Strive for personal growth. Learn something new, whether or not it relates to your job. When you learn, your brain constantly applies new knowledge to old tasks. Most likely, you'll begin to think of better ways of doing your job too.[3]
- Think about long-term personal goals too. Do you want to have children, get married, or move to a new area? Consider what is important to you at home and then make career decisions that will help you get there.
EditPlanning Carefully - Choose the correct line of work. Your profile of work holds the most important spotlight when it comes to maintaining a balance between work and family life. If the work that you do is what you love, making that balance is a way easier job.
- Pick a profession that gives you a sense of satisfaction. Every job comes with its set of difficulties and deadlines. If you are satisfied with what you've accomplished, even are proud of a job well done, you'll be able to focus all of your energy on work while you are there.[4]
- You may need to switch jobs. Some jobs and bosses are too demanding. If the salary or level satisfaction from your current job is not enough to keep you there and to outweigh time with your family, it is probably time to find another position. [5]
- Think about work-life balance when planning your family. Just as you should consider how your job affects your family, you should also think about how your family affects your ability to complete your job.[6]
- Ask questions about who should work in your family. Should both husband and wife work? What effect, both financial and personal, will this have? How many children can we take care of, while both working? Are there any other family members that we can rely on to shoulder the load?
- Consider long-term time commitments. Sometimes, finding a work-life balance means more than just balancing family time with work. Consider some of the following questions:
- Do you want to be a part of other communities? Do you volunteer and does your job give you enough time to do so?
- What about hobbies? Does your current job allow you to do things that make you happy outside of work?
- Are there other time commitments that figure into your work life? How far is your commute? If you choose to live further away from work, then you'll spend that much more time every day commuting in between. Then there are the costs of maintaining a car. Consider finding a place to live that is closer to work.[7]
EditMaking the Most of Your Time - Get organized. Use to-do lists at work and at home. Sometimes, it can be difficult to juggle all the tasks you need to finish. Create lists in order of importance. Get the most difficult or most important tasks done early in the morning, so you'll have progressively easier tasks throughout the day.[8]
- Don't erase completed tasks on your to-do list. Some people scratch out or completely erase finished tasks. Many psychologists agree that you should also have a list of things you've completed. Doing so reminds you that you've been productive.
- Keep a work diary. At the end of each day at work, write down what you need to do the next day and thoughts you have about accomplishing those goals efficiently. This way you'll know you can resume work easily the next morning. You'll also feel better about leaving tasks unaccomplished.
- Draw a line between professional and personal life. This is a very important rule that we tend to overlook or break. Sometimes, your boss may hinder your ability to strictly demarcate work time and home time. Sometimes, you will face deadlines that force you to work at home.
- Do your best to abide by this rule. It can be hard and if working at home is part of your job, reduce the amount of time spent at home as much as possible. Limit your at-home work to specific hours of the day or to particular days. So if you designate Monday evenings for work, try not to work on other days of the week.[9]
- Don't go home and immediately start working. The first thing you should do when you get home is tend to your family. Ask your significant other about their day. If you have children, sit down with them, play with them, and help them with their homework. Only after you've filled the needs of your family should your mind turn back to work.
- If you work from home, then you need to find a way of "clocking out". Have a time when work has to stop. Or designate spaces in your home for work purposes only.[10]
- Get your email habits in check. Email is a double edge sword. It speeds up communication around a company, but the amount of time you spend checking it might cripple your productivity. Consider only checking your email during designated time periods. Check it once in the morning, once after lunch, and once before you leave for the day. This will allow you to answer critical emails and reply in a timely manner. [11]
EditTaking Care of Yourself - Rely on your friends and family. You don't have to shoulder the burden of work and life. Talk to your family members. Tell them when you are stressed and when you have a problem at work. They probably won't mind listening to your issues. And you'll feel better afterwards. Everyone needs support networks.
- Take time for yourself. It can be exhausting having to play the role of employee and family member. You need to decompress. Play golf, go shopping, or see a movie. Blow off some steam before it builds up and you explode. Take some time where all you have to worry about is yourself. This is key. Have some "me" time.[12]
- Get enough sleep. Prioritize it. You may be up against deadlines or have dozens of time-sensitive tasks to complete. Without sleep, your brain won't be able to function on a level needed to take care of all of those problems. Get a solid 8 hours of sleep a night, every night.[13]
- Eat healthy. It is tempting to grab fast food, while you rush from the office to your home. Take time to eat healthy. Healthy nutrition translates to more energy, which you'll need to maintain a balance.[14]
- Exercise. Working out, walking, going for a jog, or swimming at a pool can be great on a number of levels. You get some time to yourself. While you are working out, your brain will continue to examine problems from work or at home. Eventually, you'll discover answers. The most obvious result is that you'll feel better about yourself and feel better too. Those "gains" will make balancing work and life easier.[15]
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| How to Build a Positive Thinking Mindset Posted: 02 Jan 2017 08:00 AM PST A mindset is essentially your emotional response to normal daily activities. This is important for health and quality of life.[1] You may be unable to change your job, your family, where you live, or other major constraints that may underlie negative thinking. But you can approach life's frustrations with positivity by challenging negative thoughts and improving your outlook on life. EditChallenging Negative Thoughts - Identify your negative thoughts. Cognitive behavioral therapy practitioners believe that we have the ability to change our behavior by changing our thoughts. Thoughts are the catalyst that lead to behaviors. The first step in controlling your thoughts is awareness.
- Keep a thought journal. If you have trouble identifying your negative thoughts, consider keeping a thought journal. In this journal, write down the way that you perceive different things: yourself, your work or school, your parents, politics, the environment, and so on.
- This will force you to pay attention to the critical voice in your head and listen to what it's saying.
- Take a few minutes every day to recall times when you thought something negative.
- Quiet your inner critic by focusing on the positive. When you hear the voice in your head say something negative, take a pause and substitute the negative for something positive.
- For example, if your mind keeps saying how much you hate your principal, you can say, "This is a tough job and he's doing the best he can."
- Keep a gratitude journal. Record instances that occur in your life that you are grateful for. Express them in a journal, letter, or other kind of writing. Write down some of the things that you're thankful for. Write in this journal a couple of times every week.
- Research shows that a gratitude journal is more effective when the person writes about a handful of instances in depth, rather than a laundry list. Spend a few minutes reliving and savoring these moments that you write about.[2]
- The gratitude journal will help you remember the positive things in your life.
- Practice positive imagery. Imagine yourself in successful scenarios with as much detail as possible.[3] Keep the negative thoughts like "I can't do this" at bay. Instead, focus on how you can do something: "I can finish this project. I will ask for a little help and it will get done."
- When you strive to be confident in your activities and outlook, you will increase your potential for actually achieving your goals.
EditImproving Your Outlook - Find the positive side of life's challenges. Keep moving forward and don't focus on how difficult life can be. Think of the adventures you're having in life because of these challenges. If things were straight and smooth, your life might be pretty uninteresting. Think about the ways you've overcome challenges and become a better person because of them.[4]
- For example, if you're mad that you were laid off, think about how you have been able to spend valuable time with your children.
- Alter your reactions to life's frustrations. We can often feel like we're surrounded by life's frustrations. Perhaps you lost weight and gained it back, or it rained at your neighborhood barbecue. When we get bogged down by frustrating events, we start to notice and get frustrated by minor things, like not finding a parking spot or hitting all the red lights in traffic. But if you alter your reaction to these frustrations, they won't have such a strong hold over you.[5]
- Compare the current frustration to similar ones in the past. Will this frustration make a difference in the long run, or are you wasting your energy getting worked up over nothing?
- For example, let's say you are unhappy making sandwiches for a job. Put some artfulness into it, arranging the meats colorfully with the vegetables. Think of something nice to say to the customer. Ask the manager if there is something else you can control about the environment, like the music.
- If you hate traffic, plan ahead and listen to your favorite music in your car.
- Take action to change the frustrating event. If you hate going to work, you might think this way because you want to have a different career. Make a change to fix the situation.
- Take time to relax. Oftentimes, we get wrapped up in negativity because we are stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated or angry. When we allow ourselves time to relax and recoup, we can find space to tackle problems with a positive attitude. Set aside time every day for yourself to do something relaxing, whether that's reading a book, watching your favorite TV show, or talking on the phone with a friend.
- Try meditation or yoga, or spend a few minutes taking some deep breaths.
- Do activities you're good at. Frustration and negativity often occur because we feel a lack of efficacy, or a lack of success for our efforts. A productive response is to do something you are good at. When you feel good about your abilities, your mindset will improve in the positive direction. Increase how often you do your favorite activities.
- For example, if you like knitting, take a break and work on a knitting project. You will get positive energy from this activity because you can see your progress. This positive energy will then influence how you feel about other projects.
- Avoid media that causes negative thinking. Research shows that negative thinking is supported by media with negative comparisons.[6] If you notice media making you feel negative, one approach is to avoid that media. If you found yourself frequently comparing yourself to a certain model or athlete, avoid magazines, shows, or games that feature them.
- Even temporary exposure to media depicting ideal images has been shown to negatively impact self-esteem and self-image.[7]
- Try humor. Having fun and laughing can boost your mood and increase your positive reactions to things and people.[8]
- Attend a comedy show, watch comedy television, or read a book of jokes. This will help build a sense of humor that is associated with playfulness and positivity.[9]
EditInteracting With Others - Surround yourself with positive people. When a friend is negative, his negativity can have the tendency of rubbing off on you. For example, if this person always talks negatively about your school, you might start to think negatively too. This is because this is all you focus on. If you think about the positive aspects of your school, you'll start to see those more clearly.[10]
- Build a network of people who approach life with positivity. Spend less time with those who bring you down.
- Be positive about other people. Sometimes feeling negative is pervasive and affects all our interactions. Negativity can make people not want to spend time with you, adding to a cycle of feeling negative. A way to break out of this cycle and build a positive mindset is to practice social support. Expanding positive comments towards others can help you build a positive thinking mindset.
- For example, you can help someone feel good about themselves by recognizing him and pointing out something positive.[11] Compliment him on how well he can sing, for example.
- Being nice to others is associated with positive outcomes in family, health and career,[12] which will help build your positive-thinking mindset.
- Show interest and pride in others. When you interact with others, you can help them feel positively. This will, in turn, increase your own positive mindset. Increase positive thinking in others by showing interest and reinforcing the pride you feel.[13]
- When you get together with a friend, spend the time talking about what's new with her. Steer the conversation away from yourself and focus on listening to her.
- Take note of when you help others. Write down the ways that you have helped someone else and contributed to his or her wellbeing. It sounds somewhat gratuitous or self-serving. But research shows this kind of behavior can help you feel like you're making a difference by staying positive.[14]
- Join a social group. Belonging to a social group can help reduce negative thinking. Religious affiliation can, for many people, cultivate a positive mindset. [15]
EditHaving a Healthy Lifestyle - Get enough sleep. It is much easier to handle life's frustrations and stay positive when you're not running on empty. Your body needs rest to recover, which will help your mind work more productively and positively. Aim to get 7-8 hours of sleep every night.[16]
- If you have trouble falling asleep at night, try dimming the lights a little while before bed. Turn off all screens (computer, TV, phone) at least 30 minutes before you go to bed. This will help your mind settle down for sleep.
- Eat well. Feed your body with good fuel that will help you maintain a positive attitude. Avoid processed and fried foods. Eat lots of nutrient-rich foods, such as fruits, vegetables, proteins and whole-grains.
- Eat foods rich in vitamins that are known for their mood-boosting qualities. These include selenium, such as grains, beans, seafood and lean meats; omega-3 fatty acids, such as fatty fish and walnuts; and folate, such as leafy greens and legumes.[17]
- Drink plenty of water. Negative moods have been linked to dehydration. Make sure you are getting enough water throughout the day. Aim for 72 ounces of fluids (for women) or 104 ounces of fluids (for men).[18]
- Some of your daily fluid intake does occur through the foods you eat. It's a good idea to shoot for about 8 eight-ounce cups of water every day.
- Exercise regularly. As you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which are chemicals linked to positive feelings. Regular exercise can ward off stress, depression, and other ailments.[19]
- Get at least 20-30 minutes of exercise three times a week.
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| How to Overcome the Post Vacation Blues Posted: 02 Jan 2017 12:00 AM PST |
| How to Set SMART Goals Posted: 01 Jan 2017 04:00 PM PST SMART is an acronym that represents a framework for creating effective goals. It stands for five qualities your goals should have. They should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. The SMART method is one of the most popular and effective tools for creating realistic and achievable goals. You might be at the helm of a 300-person organization or you might be a small business entrepreneur. Or, you might be somebody who simply wants to shed 20 pounds. Regardless, learning how to set SMART goals can improve your chances of success. EditMaking your Goal Specific (S) - Decide what you want. Your first step in any goal-setting framework must be to decide what it is you hope to achieve. At this stage, it's okay to be general.
- Whether your goal is long-term or short term, most people start out with only a general idea of what they want. You move from the general to the specific by adding details and defining your terms.[1]
- For example, maybe your initial goal is be healthier. Knowing that will be your basis for creating a more specific goal.
- Get specific. "Specific" is the "S" in SMART. You have a much greater chance of accomplishing a specific goal than a general goal.[2] So, your task at this stage is to translate your thoughts from step one into something more precise.
- Following the example in the previous step, you would ask yourself what "healthier" means to you? What in your life needs to be better?
- The goal has to be concrete and clear. Nebulous and fluffy goals like "feel better" or "look better" are not easy to determine progress. Pick a goal that will bemeasurable. Examples:
- Lose or gain (x) amount of weight.
- Be able to run a 5K
- Cut sodium intake in my diet
- Determine who else is involved. A good way to make certain your goal is specific enough is to answer the 6 "W" questions: Who, What, When, Where, Which, and Why. Start by asking who is involved.[3]
- If your goal is to lose weight, the answer is probably just you. But, some goals will require you to work with others.
- Ask what you want to accomplish. This is the basic question of what goal you hope to achieve.[4]
- If you want to lose weight, be more specific! How much weight do you hope to lose? This means figuring out what is a healthy goal weight for you.
- Determine where this will happen. Identify a location in which you will do the work of striving for your goal.[5]
- If you want to lose weight, you could exercise at work (going for a walk during lunch hour), at home (doing a home body weight workout or using weights), and at a gym.
- Think about when this will happen. Establish a realistic time frame or deadline for achieving your goal.[6] This will come more sharply into focus later in the process of goal setting. For now, just think about the big picture.
- If your goal is to lose 20 pounds, you might be able to achieve that in a few months. On the other hand, if your goal is to get a degree in physics, a reasonable time frame for that might be a few years.
- This may also mean figuring out when you work out: before work, after school, when the pool is open,
- This may also mean considering how often to work out?
- Determine which requirements and restraints will be part of the process.[7] In other words, what will you need to do to achieve your goal? What obstacles will you face?
- If your goal is to lose weight, the requirements might be exercise and a healthy diet. The obstacles might include your own aversion to exercise. Recognize this, and consider how and why do you want to overcome that?
- Other obstacles: You may not have money for a gym, or a bad knee, or it is not a great neighborhood to walk outside at night. How can these be worked around?
- Reflect on why you are setting this goal.[8] Jot down the specific reasons and benefits of accomplishing this goal. Understanding the "why" can be crucial to knowing if the goal you've set will actually satisfy your desires.
- For example, imagine your goal is to lose 50 pounds. You reflect on your reason for that and determine that it is because you hope to have more friends. But getting more friends has no direct correlation with weight loss. In that case, work on trying to be more outgoing, rather than on your appearance.
- But if losing 50 pounds will greatly benefit your health, and you know why, write the reasons down.
EditMaking Your Goal Measurable (M) - Create a "yardstick" for measuring outcomes. Your task now is to establish a criteria for success. This will make it easy to track your progress and know when you have achieved your goal.
- Your criteria can be quantitative (numbers based) or descriptive (based on describing a certain outcome).[9]
- When possible, put concrete numbers in your goals. This way you'll know without question if you're falling behind or if you're on track.
- For example, if your goal is to lose weight, you might make your goal quantitative by saying you want to lose 30 pounds. Knowing your existing weight, it will be easy to determine when you've met your goal. A descriptive version of this goal might be "I want to be able to put on a pair of jeans I wore five years ago." Either way, your goal is measurable.
- Ask questions sharpen your focus. There are number of questions you can ask yourself to make sure your goal is as measurable as possible. These include:
- How much? For example, "how much weight do I hope to lose?"
- How many? For example, "how many times a week do I want to go to the gym?"
- How will I know when I've accomplished the goal?[10] Will it be when you step on a scale and see you've lost 30 pounds? Or 40?
- Track and measure your progress. Having measurable goals makes it easy to determine if you are making headway.
- For example, if your goal is to lose 20 pounds, and you've lost 18, you know you're almost there. On the other hand, if a month has passed and you've only lost a pound, this might signal that it's time to change your strategy.
- Keep a journal. This is a great way to keep track of the efforts you've made, the results you've seen, and your feelings about the process. Aim to write in it for about 15 minutes a day. This can help you keep things in perspective and can also release stress you might be feeling about your efforts.[11]
EditMaking Sure the Goal is Attainable (A) - Assess your limitations. You want to make sure that the goal you have set can actually be achieved.[12] Otherwise, you may become discouraged.
 - Consider the restraints and obstacles you've identified and whether you'll be able to overcome them. To achieve any goal, you will face challenges. The question to consider here is whether it's reasonable to think you'll be able to accomplish the goal in the face of these challenges.
- Be realistic about the amount of time you have to devote to your goals as well as your personal background, knowledge, and any physical limitations. Think about your objective realistically, and if you do not think you can reasonably achieve it given your current life situation, set a new one that is attainable for you in the present.
- For example, imagine your goal is to lose some weight. If you can commit even a small amount of time to exercise each week and are willing to make some dietary changes, losing 20 pound in 6 months is probably achievable. Losing 50 pounds might or might not be, especially if there are obstacles that could prevent you from exercising regularly.
- It's a good idea to write down all the foreseeable constraints you face as you make this assessment. This will help you develop complete picture of the task you face.
- Assess your level of commitment. Even if a goal is theoretically achievable, you must be committed to making the efforts necessary to reach it. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Are you prepared to make the commitment to reach your target?
- Are you willing to dramatically alter or at least adjust aspects of your life?
- If not, is there a more achievable target you are willing to work for?
- Your goal and your commitment level should match up.[13] You might find it easier to commit to losing 20 pounds for starters, but 50 pounds might seem more overwhelming. Be honest with yourself about the changes you are willing to make.
- Set a goal you can achieve. Once you've considered the challenges you face and your level of commitment, adjust your goal as necessary.
- If you decide your existing goal is achievable, you can move one to the next step. But, if you conclude that it's not really a reasonable goal, consider revising it. This doesn't mean you have to give up altogether. It just means adjusting your goal to fit your reality.
EditMaking Your Goal Relevant (R) - Reflect on your desires. Closely related to a goal's attainability is its relevance. This is the "R" in SMART. The question to ponder here is whether this goal will be fulfilling for you as individual.[14]
- This is a moment to revisit the "why" question. Ask yourself whether this goal will truly fulfill your desires or if there's a different goal that's more important to you.
- For example, imagine you are considering what you want to do after high school. You might be capable of getting your medical degree at a large, prestigious university. The goal is achievable for you. But, if your goal is to be a Broadway dancer, it does not matter what you could do. Getting into a pre-med program will hinder your dance career, and you would not succeed in the medical field, either.
- Consider your other goals and circumstances. It's also important to consider how your goal fits with other plans you have in life. Conflicting plans can create problems.[15]
- In other words, its important to determine if your goal fits in with the rest of what is going on in your life.
- For example, imagine your goal is to go to an ivy league college. But, you also want to take over the family business in the next couple of years. Especially if the business isn't located near an ivy league college, this creates a conflict. You will need to reconsider one of both of these goals.
- Adjust your goal for relevance. If you decide your goal is relevant and and will work well with your other plans, you can move on to the last step. If not, you'll need to make some more revisions.
- When in doubt, go with what you're passionate about. A goal that you care deeply about will be both more relevant and achievable than one you're only sort of interested in. A goal that will fulfill your dreams will be much more motivating and worthwhile to you.[16]
EditMaking the Goal Time-Bound (T) - Choose a time frame. This means your goal should have a deadline or there should be a date set for completion.
- Setting a timeline for your goal helps you identify and stick to the specific actions that you need to take to work towards that goal. It removes the nebulous "sometime in the future" quality that goal setting sometimes encourages.[17]
- When you don't set a timeline, there is no internal pressure to accomplish the goal, so it can often end up on the back burner.
- Set benchmarks. Especially if your goal is very long-term, it can be useful to break it up into smaller goals. This can help you measure your progress and make it manageable.[18]
- For example, if your goal is to lose 20 pounds in the next 5 months, you would set a benchmark goal of about one pound a week. This is less daunting and creates an incentive for consistent effort, rather than a big push to lose weight during the last couple of months. You can get an app that tracks your diet and exercise to make sure you're taking the necessary steps to reach your goal every day. And, if this turns out to be too much for you, you can go back and revise the goal to make it more achievable.
- Focus on the long term and the short term. Consistent progress toward your goals means keeping one eye on today and eye on the future. Within your established time frame, you might ask yourself:
- What can I do today to reach my goal? If the goal is to lose 20 pounds in five months, one daily goal might be getting 30 minutes of exercise every day. Another might be switching to healthy snacks like fruit and nuts, rather than potato chips.
- What can I do over the next 3 weeks to reach my goal? Here, the answer might involve creating a detailed meal plan or a workout schedule.
- What can I do over the long term reach my goal? Here, your focus will be on keeping the weight off. Your focus will be on forming habits that promote a healthy diet and active lifestyle over the long term. You might consider, for example, joining a gym or sports team.
- List the important milestones along the way to your target. You can pair each milestone with a reward. Small incentives can help you stay motivated.[19]
- Try making a list of people and resources you'll need to achieve your goal. This can help you be strategic about taking the steps you need to take to attain it.
- Don't make so many goals that it is impossible to prioritize them. You'll feel like you are not accomplishing anything, and you will likely feel overwhelmed. Do up to 1 big goal and about 1-2 small goals or 3 small goals.
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| How to Do Aerobics Posted: 01 Jan 2017 08:00 AM PST Broadly speaking, aerobic exercise requires you to work out your large muscle groups like your arms and legs. By raising your breathing and heart rates, you increase oxygen flow to your muscles, while also allowing your blood flow to remove carbon dioxide and lactic acid buildup in your muscles.[1] The results of regular aerobic exercise are lower blood pressure and cholesterol, improved lung function, a lower resting heart rate and improved cardiovascular health, weight loss, and muscle definition. While this can be achieved through jogging or playing basketball, when we talk about "aerobics," we're talking about a specific type of exercise that often incorporates music and dance-like motions to make aerobic exercise fun, keeping you coming back for more. EditPreparing for an Aerobics Workout - Set aside enough time to meet exercise recommendations. Regardless of your goals — losing weight or just improving overall health — you won't see or feel any change in your body unless you exercise regularly.
- The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recommends that adults get at least 2.5 hours of moderate aerobic exercise (low-impact aerobics) or 75 minutes of strenuous aerobic exercise (high-impact aerobics) per week.[2]
- So one hour-long low-impact aerobics class per week isn't enough to meet professional standards for a healthy lifestyle. Set aside enough time throughout the week to reach your exercise goals.
- Another way to approach your routine is to elevate your heart rate for half an hour every day, taking a day off here and there.[3]
- If you are trying to lose weight, you should increase the amount of time you dedicate to exercise, as these recommendations are a minimum guideline for healthy living.
- Pre-prepare a workout plan. Regardless of what type of aerobics you're doing, you want to make sure you're working out your entire body in a thoughtful manner. Of the five recommended elements of physical activity — aerobic exercise, strength training, core exercise, balance training, and flexibility — aerobics itself is simply one piece of the overall picture.[4] However, with a little bit of pre-planning, you can incorporate steps and tools into your workout plan that help you achieve the recommended balance.
 - Aerobic exercise: obviously, you want to keep your heart rate elevated throughout. This is why aerobics instructors ask you to march in place in between steps rather than stopping and taking a break. If you can speak easily, you're not working out hard enough.
- Strength training: Holding hand weights while performing your aerobics routine will help build muscles in the arm, while adding ankle weights will build leg muscle.
- Core strength: Incorporate moves that target the muscles in your abdomen — windmills, for example. The addition of hand weights while performing windmills will result in an even better core workout.
- Balance training: Many moves in aerobics require you to shift your weight from one foot to the other. Focus on the slow, deliberate transfer of weight and the balance of your body when doing these steps. Hamstring curls and ski jumps, for example, are a good opportunity to focus on balance.
- Flexibility: When performing steps that require stretching, commit all the way to the stretch. Windmills are a great example of an exercise where you may not be able to reach your feet at first due to poor flexibility. With some attention and practice, your flexibility will increase over time.
- Wear clothes that let you move. Aerobics will lead you through a wide range of motions, so don't wear stiff clothes that will keep you from moving your arms and legs comfortably. You'll also sweat a lot, so wear clothes that won't make you overheat — athletic shorts and a t-shirt will work just fine. Make sure you're wearing shoes designed for exercise, not flats or work shoes.
- Prepare a large, clear area. You'll be swinging your arms, kicking your legs, and moving around while doing your aerobics routine. You don't want to knock things over, so pull tables and chairs into a corner, clearing a large space where you can move freely without having to worry about breaking something or hurting yourself by running into a table.
- Make a good workout playlist. Studies have shown a correlation between a good workout playlist and increased workout efficiency.[5] Because the main point of aerobics is to raise your heart rate, choose only music that has a fast rhythm, so you'll have to work hard to keep up with the beat. Only choose songs that you like, though! The more you enjoy the music, the more you'll get into the steps you're doing, and the better your workout will be. Furthermore, if you enjoy the workout because of the music, you'll be less likely to get bored and stop working out after a couple of sessions.
- Stretch out your major muscle groups before exercising. If you don't stretch before physical exertion, you can overstress your muscles and cause more damage than good.
- From a standing position, try to touch your toes. Keep your knees and back as straight as possible.
- Put your toe up against a wall and lean forward, stretching out your calf muscles.
- Do side-squats to stretch out your hamstrings.
- Standing on one leg, pull your foot up toward your bottom to stretch out your quadriceps.
- Keep a water bottle handy.[6] As you're sweating during your workout, your body will begin to dehydrate. If you don't replenish your body with water throughout your workout, you can overexert and hurt yourself, so keep water nearby and drink whenever you get thirsty or need to cool down a little.
EditDoing Low-Impact Aerobics - Do low-impact aerobics if you fall into the recommended category. The more aggressive style of aerobics (high impact) can cause injury to people who have existing joint problems or who are unprepared for high-impact exercise. Low-impact aerobics is designed to minimize the risk of leg injuries, and is recommended for seniors, pregnant women, and overweight people.[7] If you fall into one of those categories or have joint problems you should not attempt high-impact aerobics at all, unless you doctor approves it for you. If you're out of shape and want to ease your way into a workout regimen, low-impact aerobics is a great way to get your body used to a range of motions before you start pushing yourself.
- Cycle through a variety of different motions. It doesn't matter what order you go in, but stay in each motion for at least one or two minutes before moving on to the next motion.
- You should repeat the same motions repeatedly throughout your workout. For example, travel forwards and backwards to cool down between more difficult motions that make your muscles burn. Once your muscles stop burning, go back to the more difficult motions.
- March in place to warm up. Don't begin your workout in earnest until you've warmed up your body. In warming up, you gradually increase blood flow throughout your body and loosen up the muscle groups you'll be using, reducing the risk of muscle stress.[8] Use the rhythm of the music you're playing to guide your steps, but the music should be fairly fast-paced to make sure you're moving fast enough to get your heart rate up.
- Your arms can hang naturally at your sides, or you can swing them in a sharp, but controlled motion to work out your arm muscles as well.
- Make sure to lift your knees enough to cause your legs to burn over a period of time. Simply shuffling in place will not make you sweat!
- Do this for at least two minutes to warm your body up in preparation for a wider range of more demanding movements.
- Get into the music! Clap your hands if you feel like it. The more fun you're having, the more likely you'll be to continue exercising.
- Travel forwards and backwards. Walk forward three steps, swinging your arms energetically at your sides; on the fourth count, tap your foot on the ground and clap your hands. Repeat this motion moving backwards, so you end up where you began.
- Repeat motion for as long as you'd like, until you get bored of it and want to move on to a new movement.
- Perform heel digs.[9] Staying in place, extend each leg forward and tap the heel of the foot against the ground, alternating legs to the beat of the music. Lift your hands to shoulder or chest level every time you draw a foot back, and fully extend your arms downward with every foot extension. Keep your motions controlled and deliberate to make sure that you're engaging your muscles instead of letting gravity do all the work for you.
- Do step-touches.[10] Take a wide, but comfortable step to the right (don't lose your balance!), then bring your left foot to your right foot and touch the ground with it. Move your left foot back out to your original position, then touch your right foot to the ground by your left foot.
- You can combine this with any number of arm movements, from controlled arm swings to shoulder rolls.
- A shoulder roll is simply when you pull one shoulder forward slightly, then roll it up and back. Alternate shoulders to the beat of the music, working out your shoulder and back muscles.
- Do duck walks.[11] A duck walk is a lot like marching in place, but you do it with your legs bent at the knees. This increases the burn in your thighs. Remember to pump your arms in a controlled manner at your sides.
- It's important to keep a straight back during this step to prevent back pain.
- Do grapevines.[12] Take a comfortably wide step to the left, but when you bring your right foot over to meet it, cross your right foot behind and past your left foot; with your weight on your right foot, bring your left foot over to the left to stand comfortably for a beat before bringing your right in to tap your left foot. Then repeat the process to the right side.
- Kick your leg out to the front on the last beat (when you would normally simply tap one foot to the other) to increase your activity rate.
- Begin the movement to the left with your arms down, and slowly lift them out to your sides and up over your head in a deliberate, wide motion, with your hands meeting over your head on the fourth beat.
- Bring your arms down during your movement to the right so the return to their beginning position.
- Perform hamstring curls.[13] Take a comfortably wide step to the right, the lift your left heel behind you, bending at the knee. Don't swing your entire leg, just bend your heel back toward your bottom. Bring your foot back down, then repeat the motion on the left side, alternating sides to the rhythm of the music.
- You can push your arms forward as though pushing the air away from your chest on the leg curl, then pull your arms back into your chest when you return your foot to the ground.
- You can also do bow-and-arrows with your arms: extend one arm out directly to the side and tuck the other into your chest while keeping your elbow pointed out to the side. Alternate sides to match your feet movement. The motion should look a little bit like using a bow and arrow.
- To increase the muscle exertion, you can double or triple up on the curls you do on each side before moving on to the other leg. This way, you muscle doesn't get to relax immediately, and the workout is a little more difficult.
- Find a low impact aerobics class. There are many styles of low impact aerobic exercise, so you should be able to find a class that works for you. Keep an eye out for:
- Low impact step aerobics
- Low impact Zumba classes: though Zumba, a dance exercise that incorporates Latin and world music, usually involves a good amount of jumping and bouncing that can be stressful on joints, look for a class that offers a low-impact alternative.
- Power yoga: power yoga is a more athletic form of yoga that was invented in the United States. It's a rigorous exercise that will increase your heart rate without stressing your joints, but make sure to look for a beginner's class.
- A spinning class: these classes involve riding a stationary bike, but are often set to workout music chosen by the class's instructor[14]
- Water aerobics: these classes take place in a pool. The water's natural buoyancy protects your joints, but also provides greater resistance to your movements, resulting in a safe and vigorous workout.[15]
EditDoing High Impact Aerobics - Do high impact aerobics if you have healthy joints and are in shape enough. Research suggests that when healthy bodies engage in activities that exert force on the joints, it can actually help build and strengthen bone, and of course, more strenuous exercise raises the heart rate more.[16] Again, do not attempt high impact aerobics if you have joint or bone pain, unless your doctor permits it. If you think you're in good enough shape to jump right into high impact aerobics, this is a great way to get your heart rate pumping harder and shape your muscles more than low impact aerobics.
- Just as with low impact aerobics, you will create your own combinations and routines from a range of steps, all performed to high-paced music.
- Warm up. Warm up just as you would for low-impact aerobics, by marching in place. This is just to get your body ready for physical exertion. You've already stretched, but that's not necessarily enough to keep your muscles from cramping up from too much immediate effort. March in place for about two minutes before beginning your combinations.
- Do scissor steps. This motion calls for you to jump, moving your legs back and forth in a scissoring motion. You can keep your hands on your hips or swing them in a controlled motion at your sides, as you normally would during walking or running, but with a more exaggerated range.
- From a standing position, jump so your left foot is forward and your right foot is back.
- Jump again, switching the position of your feet.
- You should switch foot position for each beat of the song you're listening to.
- Make sure to center your balance. Put your arms out to the side to stabilize yourself if you feel like you're going to fall.
- Do windmills.[17] This motion is stationary, in that your feet are set, but it's still a difficult motion and you can lose your balance if you're not careful. Begin with your feet about shoulder-width apart, in the "stride" position. Extend your arms out directly to your sides, making sure they stay parallel to the ground.
- Keeping your arms straight through the elbow, reach your right arm down to touch the instep of your left shoe. Do you best not to bend your knees.
- Your left arm should swing behind your body, and your face should rotate to look out to the left.
- Return to your original position, then repeat on the other side, touching your left hand to your right shoe.
- Keep your back as flat as possible instead of letting it slump and get rounded.
- Jog in place. Let your arms swing naturally at your side as they would during a normal jogging motion. If you want to make this motion more difficult, bring your knees up higher. Alternate between normal jogging and high-knee jogging to keep your heart rate up without wearing yourself out completely.
- Do ski jumps.[18] Begin in a position like you do when you're skiing, with your knees bent, your torso leaned forward slightly, and your hands at your chest with your elbows tucked in.
- From your bending position, jump up and to the right side, making sure you jump with both feet at the same time, then land with both feet at the same time. Balance your weight over your heels and sink down into your bent stance again.
- The jumping movement should be completely lateral, not forward and back.
- As you're completing the jumping motion with your legs, bring your hands up to the sides of your head as you extend into the jump, then bring them down to your sides, keeping elbows bent, as you land and go back into your bent position.
- Jump from left to right, repeating this motion.
- To increase the level of difficulty, place an object next to you to jump over. By increasing the required height of the jump, you'll get a better workout.
- Do grasshopper jumps. From a standing position, jump to the right, extending your left heel out to the side with the toe pointed up. Jump back to your starting position, crossing your feet with your right foot in front, then jump to the left, extending your right heel out to the side with the toe pointed up. Exaggerate the jumping motion as much as possible.
- You can keep your hands on your hips during this, or alternate reaching your hands toward the ceiling with each beat.
- Do repeater movements of basic steps. Regardless of which step you're doing — from hamstring curls to windmills — repeat each motion three times before switching sides. This increases the level of difficulty and makes your muscles burn more quickly, since you don't get a chance to rest that side of your body immediately after performing a movement.
- Find a high impact aerobics class. There are many styles of high impact aerobic exercise, so you should be able to find one that meets your liking. Some examples of classes to keep an eye out for include:
- Step aerobics
- Zumba, a dance exercise that incorporates Latin and world music[19]
- Crossfit training, a demanding exercise program that cycles you through a wide variety of exercises and styles[20]
- Capoeira, a Brazilian martial arts form that incorporates dance and acrobatics set to music[21]
- Tae Bo, an aerobic exercise form that combines elements of Tae Kwon Do, karate, boxing, and dance.
- Call your local gyms and inquire into the high impact aerobic classes they offer.
- If your muscles are sore, take it easy.
- Do low impact aerobics if you are out of shape or injured.
- Consult to your doctor before beginning an exercise program.
EditThings You'll Need - Comfortable exercise clothes and sneakers.
- Water bottle.
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| How to Get Rid of a Hangover Posted: 01 Jan 2017 12:00 AM PST "I will never drink again!" is a common phrase heard after someone wakes up after a night of drinking with a hammering headache and a stomach rolling around like a sneaker in a washing machine. Alcohol is a diuretic, which means that it removes liquids from the body. It is the resulting dehydration that causes most your horrible hangover symptoms. Unfortunately there are no cast iron hangover cures, but there are various ways that you can treat the symptoms to keep you going until you have recovered.[1] EditRe-hydrating Yourself - Drink plenty of water. The dehydration caused by alcohol consumption needs to be tackled if you are to get rid of your hangover. The most straightforward way to re-hydrate yourself is simply by drinking lots of water when you wake up. Drinking bland fluids that are easy on your digestive system will help you replace lost liquid without irritating your stomach.[2]
- Drinking a pint of water before you go to bed will help to lower your dehydration levels before you wake up. Keep a glass of water next to your bed to drink from in the night.
- Drink an isotonic sports drink. As well as water, an isotonic sports drink can be a very effective way to replace fluids and give you some much needed energy. These drinks contain carbohydrates that release energy slowly, helping you pick up as the day goes on.[3]
- Look for drinks that contain electrolytes, which you need to replace when you have become dehydrated.[4]
- Be wary of sports drinks containing caffeine as these will likely make you more dehydrated.
- If you feel severely dehydrated, look for an oral rehydration solution. These are specially formulated to treat dehydration, whereas most sports drinks are not.
- Drink fruit juice. Another good thing to drink is fresh fruit juice. The vitamins and minerals will give you a boost.[5] Fruit juices are generally high in fructose, which is sugar that affects your energy as well as the functioning of your liver.
- Fruit juices are also often high in vitamin C, something which is often lost in your urine when you are drinking.[6]
- Tomato juice, orange juice, and coconut water are all good choices.[7]
- Drink ginger tea. Drinking ginger tea can help to suppress nausea and vomiting. It is often drank by pregnant women to help with morning sickness and the same principle applies for a hangover.[8] One option is to boil 10-12 pieces of fresh ginger root in about four cups of water and add the juice of one orange, half a lemon and half cup of honey.
- This concoction will provide quick relief from hangover by stabilizing blood glucose levels.
- A calm tea is probably better than a carbonated ginger ale. Fizzy drinks increase the pressure on your stomach, and could cause you to feel nauseated.[9]
- Sip drinks throughout the day. With all of these drinks there is no fixed amount that you need to drink, it is more a question of drinking throughout the day. Taking regular sips of water, fruit juice and/or an isotonic sports drink will help you replenish your lost fluids, vitamins and nutrients as the day goes on.[10]
- Avoid caffeinated drinks. Just as you are drinking water and juice to help rehydrate yourself, drinking a lot of caffeinated drinks, such as coffee, can make you more dehydrated rather than less. Caffeine also narrows your blood vessels and raises your blood pressure, which can also exaggerate your hangover symptoms.
EditEating to Combat your Hangover - Eat some eggs. Eggs are an excellent thing to eat to combat a hangover. They contain an amino acid called cysteine, which your body will be very happy to receive after a bout of drinking. Cysteine works to break down the toxins that make you feel unwell after drinking. By helping cleanse your body of these leftover toxins, eggs can help you to feel better, rejuvenated, and more energized.[11]
- Avoid preparing your eggs with too much fat or grease, as this could make you feel nauseated.
- Have a bowl of cereal. If the thought of eggs makes your stomach turn, try a bowl of fortified breakfast cereal. Wholegrain cereal is preferable, as it will have more vitamins and nutrients.[12]
- Have bouillon soup to restore vitamins and minerals. A bouillon soup is a thin broth that is based on vegetables. It's a good source of the vitamins and minerals you need to replenish when you're hungover. It's also perfect if you are feeling very fragile and might struggle to keep down solid foods.[13] Bouillon soup can particularly help you to replace salt and potassium.[14]
- Eat food rich in potassium. When you are drinking you will find yourself making regular trips to the bathroom, due to the fact that alcohol's a diuretic. When you are urinating a lot you will lose more potassium than normal. Lower potassium levels contribute to tiredness, nausea and weak limbs, all symptoms of a hangover. To tackle this eat foods that are good sources of potassium.
- Two cheap, easy to find examples you might already have in your kitchen are bananas and kiwi fruits.[15]
- Baked potatoes, leafy greens, mushrooms, and dried apricots are also good sources of potassium.[16]
- Sports drinks are often good sources of potassium.[17]
- Eat bland foods like toast and crackers. Eating bland foods may be the best option if your stomach is feeling sensitive. The point of eating to tackle a hangover is not to "absorb" the alcohol, but to boost your blood sugar and replenish nutrients.[18]
- Alcohol prevents your body from maintaining normal blood sugar concentration, and low blood sugar leads to fatigue and weakness, making your body tired.[19].
- Complex carbohydrates (oatmeal, whole-grain bread) are good choices.
EditResting and Recovering - Go back to bed. Simply put, sleep is the best way to deal with a hangover.[20] The kind of sleep you get after drinking may involve less of the R.E.M. (rapid eye movement) state of sleep which provides proper restoration for your brain, so it's important to get some more sleep if you can.[21]
- Sleep deprivation can certainly make the symptoms of a hangover worse.[22]
- The only real cure for a hangover is time.
- Take a gentle walk. Without exerting yourself too much or risking further dehydration, getting out of the house and taking a walk can help you to feel better when hungover. The rate that alcohol toxins are broken down is increased by your oxygen levels.
- A brisk walk will help speed the metabolism and clearance of alcohol in your system.[23]
- If you are really struggling, don't push yourself, but rest and recover.
- Try not to dwell on it. If you are hungover, it can be tempting to wallow in your state of disrepair and refuse to get out of bed or off the couch all day. If you counter this and try to carry on regardless you might find that your symptoms feel diminished. Denial can be a powerful way to try to convince your brain that everything is okay.[24]
EditMedicating your Hangover - Take an over-the-counter painkiller. Your throbbing headache and aching muscles can be tackled with a simple and easily available over the counter painkiller. Check the recommended dosage on the packages, usually two tablets, and take them with a glass of water when you wake up.
- You can take aspirin-based painkillers or NSAIDs (nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, such as ibuprofen), but they may irritate your stomach further and cause nausea.[25]
- If you have a sensitive stomach or are in any doubt about what painkillers to take, contact your doctor.
- Do not take acetaminophen! Acetaminophen is processed in your liver, just like alcohol. Tylenol instructions, for instance, specifically say not to mix with alcohol. Doing this can lead to liver failure. (Brands include Tylenol, Paramol, and Anacin).[26] In some countries, acetaminophen is called paracetamol: it is the same medication.[27]
- Take an antacid pill for your stomach. A common symptom of a hangover is a very delicate stomach caused by high stomach acidity levels. If you feel nauseous, consider taking an over-the-counter product that can neutralize stomach acid and tackle feelings of indigestion.[28] As with the painkillers, there is a risk that these tablets could irritate your stomach, so be sure the read the package and take as advised.
- There are a number of branded antacid pills available to buy.
- Common antacid ingredients include aluminum hydroxide, magnesium carbonate or calcium carbonate, and magnesium trisilicate.[29] These ingredients are found in brands such as Tums, Mylanta, and Maalox.
- Take a multivitamin pill. When you drink alcohol your body will lose a lot of nutrients, including vitamin B12 and folate, that will need to be replenished.[30]If you're feeling really nauseous, you might not be able to keep a multivitamin pill down.
- As with the other pills, taking a soluble or effervescent pill will mean that it gets into your system faster.[31]
- Soluble pills are simply those which you dissolve in glass of water and drink.
- Effervescent tablets will dissolve in water, but have added carbon dioxide so will fizz up. These effervescent pills can cause nausea.[32]
- Be wary of "miracle cures". There are some so-called 'hangover pills' that claim to include elements that tackle all your hangover symptoms at once. Perhaps try one of these, but be aware that scientific studies have concluded that their effectiveness is at best limited.[33] Nothing truly cures a hangover except time and hydration.[34]
- Drink plenty of water to keep yourself hydrated. And have a good nap.
- Eat well when you have hangover because empty stomach will make you feel more nauseated.
- Remember to never drive after you've been drinking.
- To avoid a hangover try to drink a pint of water before bed, and drink water between each alcoholic drink.
- Chicken noodle soup will help you to feel better.
- Drink lucozade sport orange. It's an isotonic sports drink which will replenish your body.
- Try a cold shower. It should cool you off, and help with your head and stomach.
- Stick with non-carbonated mixers. Carbonated drink mixers accelerate alcohol absorption.
- The best way to get rid of a hangover is not to get one in the first place.
- Drink responsibly and know your limits. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism recommends that women have no more than 3 drinks on a single day and no more than 7 drinks per week. Men should have no more than 4 drinks on a single day and no more than 14 drinks per week.[35] "One drink" means one of the following: 12-ounce beer, 8-9 ounces of malt liquor, 5 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of liquor.[36]
- Choose light liquors (vodka, gin) over dark liquors (brandy, whiskey). They have fewer congeners, which contribute to hangovers. Overall, drinks with more chemicals produce worse hangovers. Red wine is one of the worst culprits, but everyone is different.[37]
- A study found that hangover symptoms varied by the type of alcohol consumed: (in order of decreasing severity) brandy, red wine, rum, whiskey, white wine, gin, vodka, and pure ethanol.[38]
- The "hair of the dog" approach, or drinking more alcohol in the morning, only delays your hangover and ultimately will make it worse when it does arrive.
- Even without treatment, a hangover should last no more than 24 hours. If you're still feeling bad after that, call a doctor.
- If you can't remember what happened while you were drinking, if you get hangovers on a regular basis, or if drinking is affecting your work or your relationships, you may have a drinking problem. Talk to someone about getting help.
- Exercise does not make a hangover go away. In fact, it might make the hangover worse by further dehydrating you. If you choose to exercise, drink extra water.
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| How to Improve Yourself Posted: 31 Dec 2016 04:00 PM PST Self-improvement is universal to the human experience; we all have things we'd like to change about ourselves. Perhaps you want to lose weight, improve your skills in a certain area, be more comfortable socially, be happier, or more productive. Whatever the ultimate improvement desired, in order to achieve it you may benefit from identifying your specific goals, enacting change, and coping with setbacks. EditIdentifying Goals - Imagine what it could be like in the future. Thinking about future positive and negative possibilities enhances motivation, expectation of successful goal completion, and commitment to self-improvement.[1] Thinking about a positive future helps you imagine a reality where you are the best self you can be, while imagining a negative reality results in an awareness of what might happen if you do not meet your improvement goals.
- Imagine a miracle happened overnight and when woke up in the morning you were exactly how you want to be. Everything you wanted to improve about yourself happened in the middle of the night somehow. How are you different? How does it feel? Who is around you? What are you doing? Imagine what it would be like to live life as this completely improved self. Based on what you imagine, you can begin developing goals. Perhaps you imagined yourself as being confident and physically fit. What do you think would have needed to happen for this to occur?
- Determine what needs improvement and what doesn't. It is important to be specific in your goals, and to know which goals are a top priority.[2]
- Identify your assets (honest, hard-working, loving...etc.) and your liabilities (angry, overweight...etc.). This may help you identify the areas in which you want to make the most improvement.
- Prioritize your list of goals. Rate each goal from 1-10, 10 being the highest priority for you. Focus on this goal first.
- Get feedback. Receiving feedback about what to improve upon helps individuals' performance on tasks, and enhances goal-achievement.[3] Thus, asking others ways you can improve will help you develop specific goals and motivate you on your journey.
- Start by asking your significant other or family members ways they think you can improve yourself. Make sure you only ask individuals whom you trust and those that will take your feelings into consideration (rather than belittling or criticizing you).[4] You might be surprised by their answers.
- Talk to a trusted confidante such as a therapist, a religious leader or even a "sponsor" in a 12 step group. Having an outside party helps reduce self-deception and denial. We sometimes have a problem of being either too hard or too soft on ourselves, but talking to others can help us form an accurate picture of ourselves if we are to improve.
- Pick which suggestions you can apply to yourself and to practice those suggestions. If a certain set doesn't seem to work, try another! Nothing works for everyone. You need to find what works for you!
- Make SMART goals. SMART goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound.[5][6] For example, your goal could be to lose 20 pounds (specific, measurable, attainable) in 3 months (realistic, time-bound).
- Try this online resource for creating SMART goals at GetSelfHelp.Co.UK.[7]
- Break down each goal into smaller goals. For example, if your goal is to lose 20 pounds you will need to develop a plan which will include smaller goals such as: lowering daily calorie intake, exercising 3-5 times per week, and limiting sugar intake.
- Instead of making grand goals, start by establishing little goals that achieve the grand goal. For instance losing 50 pounds may seem like a daunting task but something like no chocolate for a week may be more viable.
- Seek out information on how to pursue that change. Information can be gathered from books, articles, friends, family, and professionals. It is amazing how much information will find you when you are ready!
- Think about ways you have made similar positive changes in the past. If you haven't, think about how others have achieved what you want.[8] Talk to people who are in your same position and ask for help.[9] For example, if you want to lose weight, you could sign up for Weight Watchers and go to groups at the center.
EditEnacting Change - Make sure you are ready to change. There are 4 stages of change according to the Transtheoretical Model of behavior change.[10] Identifying which stage you are in can help you determine whether you are ready to make a change or if you need more motivation.
- Pre-contemplation stage: This stage is when there is a problem but you are not aware of it or you are denying it.
- Contemplation: You are aware of a problem and are contemplating changing it. People can become stuck on this step for a long time until they move on.[11] You may be in this stage if you are still deciding what to change about yourself.
- Preparation: You have committed to change and are making a plan of action. You may be in this stage if you are working on your goals.
- Action: Making the changes. You are in this stage if you are working on your plan on a daily basis. You have a plan and are currently moving toward your goal.
- Maintenance: You have completed your goal and are maintaining your progress.
- Be your own coach. Self-coaching or checking in with yourself on a daily basis has been linked to increases in self-improvement, especially in terms of leadership qualities.[12] Daily check-ins facilitate awareness of your current performance and your ability to achieve goals.
- Ask yourself questions like, "Did I focus on or work toward my goals today? Did I have a positive attitude today? Was I kind to myself today? Did I accept my challenges today? Did I change something for the better today?"
- Consider outside help. If you find that self-coaching is not helping and you need some outside support, life-coaching has been associated with positive change, and goal-realization.[13] Additionally, therapists and psychologists are typically trained in interventions to assist you in achieving personal goals, such as Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT).
- Practice, practice, practice! Change may come slowly especially if it is a large self-improvement. Just keep going until your goal is your new reality (the changed you).
- Remind yourself about your specific goals on a daily basis.
EditCoping with Setbacks - Acknowledge that setbacks are normal. If change moved vertically, we'd all have an easier time making personal modifications. The truth is, change does not typically follow a distinct path and there may be rocks in the road.
- For example, in weight loss it is not common for someone to continue to lose weight every single day. Some days you may not lose any weight, and some days you may gain some weight. The key is not letting these inevitable fluctuations cause you to give up on your goal. What is important is that overall, you lose weight over time. Know that you can do anything you put your mind to (that is reasonable of course)!
- Make a list of possible setbacks that may occur during your journey toward self-improvement. Identify ways to deal with each setback.
- Focus on what you will do in the future. Dwelling on what you did wrong does not help you achieve goals. However, focusing on what you can do now and in the future helps you to. Instead of letting the rock in your path stop your journey, focus on moving forward and learning how to better deal with rocks in the future. You can go around or jump over the rocks.
- For example, if you wanted to lose weight and ending up gaining a pound over the weekend, instead of thinking negatively and giving up on your goal, think something like, "it's okay to have a little fluctuation in weight. I'm going to continue to feed my body healthy foods!"
- Accept and affirm yourself. Research indicates that individuals who accept their challenges can actually be more motivated toward positive change.[14] Additionally, individuals who affirm or validate themselves often are more able to think about and understand their challenges.[15]
- Recognize your strengths and your challenges, even if you have to list all of them down.
- Understand yourself as an outside observer.[16] Try to objectively look at yourself by observing your behaviors such as how you act, speak, and think around other people.
- Make sure that when you go to bed you feel you've accomplished something that day - it doesn't have to be something life changing in itself, but making the effort to be a little nicer or read a few more pages of that book EVERY day will have more of an impact than occasional large things.
- Be patient with yourself. Pat yourself on your back for "victories" and give yourself a break if you back slide. "Rome wasn't built in a day"! Just keep at it as you are able. Good luck and good for you!
- Trust the process and always believe in yourself.
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| How to Drink More Water Every Day Posted: 31 Dec 2016 08:00 AM PST Water is essential for human health; over 70% of the body consists of water, and the effects of dehydration can be life threatening. Although there is considerable disagreement among scientists as to the exact amount of water individuals should consume each day, the former "8-by-8" rule of 64 ounces per day is no longer a hard and fast rule. Replacing high-calorie sodas or alcoholic drinks with plain water can help control appetite and weight,[1] improve sleep and energy levels, reduce the likelihood of dental cavities or tooth decay,[2] and help manage chronic conditions such as diabetes mellitus.[3] If you would like to increase your water intake for athletic, dietary, or health purposes, there are many safe and effective ways to do so. EditMaking Drinking Water More Convenient - Understand how much water you should plan on drinking every day. The Institute of Medicine recommends an average of 3.7 liters (125 ounces) per day for healthy adult men and 2.7 liters (91 ounces) per day for healthy adult women, allowing adjustments for activity and health levels, climate and elevation, and the amount of water consumed from food and other drinks.
- Keeping in mind that 20 percent of daily water intake typically comes from food and 80 percent of water intake typically comes from a combination of plain water and other beverages, the amount of plain water you need to drink every day for optimal hydration will vary.
- Perhaps the most important factor to successfully increasing your daily water intake is making it easier for you to drink water. Try some of these suggestions to make it a cinch to up your daily consumption of water.
- Carry water with you. Having your own water supply on hand makes drinking water a no-brainer.
- Slip a reusable water bottle into your purse, gym bag, desk drawer, or car, and be sure to refill it regularly.
- Having accessible water makes you more likely to sip on water instead of soda or other drinks and can provide a visual cue to drink more water.
- Develop reminders. Try setting alarms or computer reminders that tell you to drink water once per hour, or decide on a few personal "triggers" for drinking water.
- Triggers to sip water can be routine activities such as receiving a phone call, passing a drinking fountain, stretching during work or workouts, hearing someone say your name, or watching commercial breaks during television programs.
- Other ideas include substituting or adding water for a coffee or tea break, or replacing your lunch beverage with water. This includes water into your routine without making a special break for it.
- Lobby for a watercooler in your office. If you have a watercooler or purified drinking system available to you and in close proximity throughout the work day, you may be more likely to grab a glass of water than to head to the kitchen to refill your coffee cup.
- Prepare flavored water in advance. Having a large pitcher of pre-flavored or purified water in your home refrigerator makes it easy to refill your water bottle every morning or to grab a glass of water at each home meal.
EditDrinking Unsweetened Water-Based Beverages - Sip on unsweetened tea. Herbal or fruit teas are essentially water with natural, non-caloric flavors.
- Try drinking unsweetened tea hot in the morning as a replacement for hot, caffeinated beverages.
- For a flavorful drink to get you through the rest of the day, try hot or iced teas in a variety of flavors, such as mint, strawberry, peach, ginseng, or lemon.
- Add lime, lemon, or other natural flavorings to your water. Slipping a slice of citrus fruit into your water can add a subtle flavor to perk up plain water, making it easier to drink more water throughout the day. Try mint leaves, cucumber slices, or berries for other flavor options to add to your water.
- Try carbonated water.
- If you normally drink soda, sparkling water can give you a calorie-free, sweetener-free, fizz-fix with all of the benefits of regular water.
- If you prefer flavored carbonated water, opt for one with no added sweeteners and only natural flavors. Otherwise, buy plain carbonated water and flavor it yourself.
EditSubstituting Water For Sweetened Beverages and Alcohol - Understand that sweetened beverages or alcohol cannot be substituted for water. If you are a habitual soda or juice drinker, or if you routinely drink beer or wine with evening meals, consider swapping water for your typical drink of choice to increase your plain water intake. Although each of these beverages are very high in water content, you can increase your total water intake and remove the side effects of sweetened, caffeinated, and alcoholic beverages by drinking just water.
- Replace at least one drink per day with water.
- Consider a glass of water instead of a second cup of your morning vanilla lattes.
- Plan to drink a full glass of water with your lunch before opening a can of soda or other beverage.
- Alternate between alcoholic drinks and water at parties, bars, or meals.
- Make water your drink of choice. Replacing soda or sports drinks with water altogether may seem like overkill, but it is the easiest way to increase the amount of regular water you drink every day.
- Instead of keeping a case of soda cans at your desk, consider lugging in a pack of bottled water, or use your new water habit as an excuse to stretch your legs a few times each day on your way to the water fountain.
- Quench your thirst with water. Studies show that when you are thirsty, water will satisfy your thirst just as well as other beverages, such as sports drinks, soft drinks, or juice.[4]
EditDrinking Water Before, During, and After Meals - Make it a habit to down a quick glass around mealtimes. Drinking a glass of water — or at least a few sips — before, during, and after eating any meal is a great way to up your daily water intake.
- Sip water with each meal. Replace your typical drink during meals with water, or at least have water to drink on the side. Not only can this save you money when you eat out, but it can also cut the calories you consume by drinking and make you less likely to consume additional calories from food.[5]
- Follow up each meal with a small glass of water. Drinking water during and after each meal can help you feel full longer after eating and aid in the digestion of your food.[6]
EditMotivating Yourself by Playing Water Drinking Games - Play Water Pong. Water drinking games can help you drink more water. Just remember not to drink excessive amounts water, since that can be fatal. (This is rare,and takes an excessive amount of water but it can happen.)[7] Water pong is similar to Beer Pong, just with water. If you commit to playing it once a week, you'll manage to increase your water intake considerably by month's end. If you want an added incentive to win at this game, decide on a prize before you start playing. You'll need a large stable table with a durable flat (and waterproof) surface, 20 cups, and 2 ping pong balls. Here's how to play:
 - Clear everything off your table.
- Fill each cup with 4 oz. of water. Make sure all the cups are equally filled.
- Arrange 10 cups at each end of your table. You'll want to position the two groups of cups as far away from each other as possible, so if your table is rectangular, set them up at the long ends of the table.
- Align 4 cups in a row at the edge of the short end of the table.
- Line up 3 more cups in a row in front of the line of 4.
- Place 2 more cups in a row right in front of the row of 3 cups.
- Place a final cup in front of the row of 2 cups. You'll notice that you just formed a flat pyramid out of the 10 cups.
- Arrange the remaining 10 cups at the opposite end of the table in the same pattern. Both peaks of the pyramids should be facing in, pointing in toward the center of the table.
- Take turns trying to throw your ball into one of your cups at the opposite end of the table. When you get a ball into a cup, you get to drink the water in that cup. The person who finishes all their cups of water first, wins!
- Play Water Bank. This is a great game for a family to enjoy together, but you can also play it with your roommates if you live with other people. Not only do you motivate yourself to drink more water while playing this game, but the winner also gets a cash prize at the end! You'll need a piggy bank, a jar or a decorative bowl to hold the money you collect, and a notepad or a mobile phone to log your water intake each day. Here's how to play:
- Determine how long you will be playing the game. An easy time-frame to remember is the first to the last day of the month.
- Decide how much each glass of water is worth. Since you'll be contributing that amount of money to the piggy bank (or collection jar or bowl), make sure it's an amount that everyone playing can afford.
- Every time you drink a full 8 oz. glass of water, make a note of it. You can keep a simple tally in a notebook you carry around with you, keep track on your mobile phone, or create a log on your computer. Make sure that you play this game with people who you trust won't cheat!
- At the end of each day or week, deposit the value of water you drank into your communal bank.
- When the game ends, count who contributed the most money to the bank. That person not only earned all the money, but they also drank the most water that month! If there's a tie, split the bounty.
- Get a Water Card. A water card is just like a coffee card–you get a stamp each time you drink a full 8 oz. glass of water. Once you fill up your card with stamps, you get a prize. You'll need to make yourself a card and either have a pen on hand to cross off your boxes, stickers, or a stamp. Here's how to play:
- Create a table in a word processing program. Draw a 9 x 8 grid, label the top row 1 to 8 and the first column with the days of the week.
- Copy the table 3 times on the page so that when you print it out, you'll have three cards on each sheet.
- Cut the cards out and put one in your wallet for the upcoming week.
- Each time you finish drinking an 8 oz. glass of water, mark it off on your card.
- Each day or week that you manage to fill your card with marks, give yourself a reward. Rewards can be anything from a chocolate at the end of the day, your favorite scone with your next cup of coffee, or even a new book or movie rental at week's end.
- Have a Charity Water Drive. Drink water to help a local charity. Pool together with your co-workers to see how much water you can drink in a month. The number of glasses you drink represents the amount of money you donate to your favorite charity. You'll need a white board or a flip chart to log your office's water consumption, and a jar or large envelope in which to store donations. Here's how to play:
- Send out an email inviting people to participate in the Charity Water Drive. Ask them to respond with their top three favorite charities, and the amount they would be willing to contribute per glass of water. The amount can range from a few cents to a few dollars.
- Determine the length of time that the drive will last and when it will start. Your charity water drive can last a week, or even as long as a month. It all depends on how determined you are as a team to raise money for your chosen charity.
- Create a grid on your whiteboard or flip chart to track your progress. List the names of everyone participating, and leave a place next to everyone's name where they can tick off their water consumption each day.
- Mark off your progress at the end of each day to help you determine when you've reached your goal. You can color in the inside of a drawing of a thermometer and celebrate once you've filled it all in.
- Make your donation at the end of your charity drive.
- Adequate hydration allows your body to remove waste, circulate blood and nutrients, support cellular health and biochemical processes, promote proper organ function, and maintain energy levels, among other essential bodily activities.
- You may need to increase your daily water intake during hot weather, time spent at high altitudes, or during periods of physical exertion.
- Try drinking a glass of water at every meal. And one in between, then you can be sure you are getting enough hydration.
- Drink a little water every morning before you brush your teeth for a refreshing start to your day.
- Drinking water flushes out your kidneys, helping decrease the risk of developing infections or other diseases.
- Be aware that you can die from water intoxication which is caused by drinking too much water.
- Buy a flask or a keep a jug with the amount of water you want to drink, and make sure that you drank it all at the end of the day.
- Most people consume enough water in response to their thirst and through their daily routines. If your urine is clear or light yellow you are likely consuming enough water.
- Before you go to bed each night, put in the refrigerator the number of water bottles you would like to drink the next day. They'll be cold and waiting for you when you wake up.
- Remember that food sources and water-based drinks can provide significant amounts of your necessary daily water intake. Foods such as watermelon, oranges, and tomatoes are up to 90% water, and soups, coffee, and juice count toward your daily water needs as well.
- Try to keep track on how much you have drunk throughout the day.
- One way to calculate how much water you should drink per day is to take your weight in pounds, divide that by two, and drink that much water in fluid ounces.
- Remember that water benefits lots of things. It helps moisturize lips, keeps from infections, etc.
- While drinking water, to increase the amount drastically, take mouthful of sips and make sure you drink a glass of water in at least 6 or more sips.
- You should drink water every hour and day. You could also drink some other healthy stuff like milk or juice that doesn't contain sugar.
- Make sure you don't leave drinking water in the car unless it is in a container made of glass or BPA-free plastic. Liquids stored in plastic containers containing BPA have been claimed in numerous studies to be carcinogenic. Many countries, including the U.S., have banned the presence of BPA in baby bottles, but not for general use by older children and adults.
- In some countries, tap water is dangerous and can cause illness. When in doubt, opt for purified or bottled water sources.
- Increasing your water or fluid intake in the late evening may cause you to have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. To avoid this, you may want to limit your beverage intake after dinner.
- Do not attempt to regularly replace food with water as a weight-loss technique. Water is not intended to replace food in your diet, as you need the nutrients from solid foods to survive.
- Drink only when you're thirsty. Your body is its own doctor and will tell you how much water you need. In fact, you're much healthier drinking when you're only thirsty then drinking 8 glasses of water per day! Forcing yourself to drink 8 glasses of water per day gives you nothing but a big fat risk of over-hydrating, which is more dangerous than dehydration.
- Drinking too much water is rare but can cause hyponatremia, an electrolyte imbalance, which can have serious negative health consequences, including death.[8] By letting your thirst be your guide, consuming water from a variety of food and beverage sources, and following the recommendations of a health professional for health conditions or intense physical activity, you can avoid drinking too much water.
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| How to Kiss Posted: 31 Dec 2016 12:00 AM PST So you finally got "the look" and you're moving in for that killer kiss when it dawns on you that you need help—and fast. If you're game to learn everything you need to know about who, what, when, where, why and how to kiss, you've come to the right place. Pucker up and let's have some fun! EditInitiating a Kiss - Drop hints that you're interested. You can put out some subtle signals that you're angling for a kiss without coming right out and saying it. Here's how to communicate it romantically:
- Get caught looking (briefly) at the other person's lips.
- Don't purse your lips. Keep them softly parted — not so much that you could breathe comfortably through the opening, but enough that you could bite your bottom lip easily.
- Make your mouth appealing. Use chapstick or lipgloss to smooth over flaky lips, and keep your breath fresh with mints or spray. Avoid gum, which you might have to spit out awkwardly if the other person goes in for a kiss.
- Break the kiss barrier (optional). If you're feeling brave, test the waters with a small kiss on the hand or the cheek. If the other person seems interested, it's probably safe to proceed with a kiss on the mouth.
- If you're kissing a girl: Take her hand and slowly lift it to your mouth. Gently press your lips into the back of your hand for 2 or 3 seconds before breaking away.
- If you're kissing a guy: Lean in and plant a 2- or 3-second kiss on his cheek. Keep your lips soft, and avoid puckering like you would if you were kissing a family member. If you want your intentions to be extra clear, aim for the part of his cheek just to the side of his lips.
- Set the mood with a romantic compliment. Go big and pay the other person the sincerest compliment you can think of. If you get it right, the other person might take the lead and lean in to kiss you.
- Say it in an intimate way. Lower the volume and tone of your voice slightly, and lock eyes. Not only does this communicate that you have deep feelings for this person, it entices him or her to come closer to hear you.
- Focus on an alluring quality. Even if you truly think that your date is an amazing basketball player, now might not be the best time to bring it up. Instead, base your compliment on how you see your date as a romantic partner. Try these lines:
- "You are SO beautiful."
- "Your eyes drive me crazy."
- "I love to see you smile."
- "I can't even believe I'm lucky enough to be with you right now."
- Consider asking for a kiss directly. If all else fails, go for broke and state your intentions. If your date hasn't picked up on any of your hints and you're dying to lock lips, you might as well be straightforward and just ask if you can kiss him or her. Don't worry, though — you can be direct while still being romantic and compelling. Try these phrases if you're at a loss for words:
- "I'd love nothing more than to kiss you right now."
- "I'm sorry if this is too forward, but I'd really like to kiss you."
- "I want to kiss you so much that it is just about killing me."
- Go in for the kiss. Don't waste any time once you have the go-ahead — close your eyes, lean in and smooch! The next sections will discuss some kissing techniques, as well as how to handle kissing in different dating situations such as a first kiss or kissing after a date.
EditKissing Techniques - Keep your lips soft. Tense puckers are for family members or people you're obligated to kiss, but keeping your mouth slightly parted and soft communicates a sense of openness.
- Do a few soft kisses. Start slow with soft, gentle kisses and skip the tongue and the teeth — for now. If your partner seems receptive, you can move forward to French kissing.
- Try to avoid letting your lips smack. The noise can be distracting, and might break your immersion in the moment. If you do find yourself smacking, slow down and part your lips a bit more.
- Stay light at first. Avoid smashing your lips against your date's mouth — for now. Kissing softly and gently gives the other person the chance to stop if it's uncomfortable, as well as allowing you to gauge his or her interest.
- Stay at a manageable level of saliva. Slobbery puppies are the last thing you want your date thinking of while you kiss him or her. Avoid this fate by swallowing excess saliva occasionally. If you notice that your lips are a bit too wet, pull away and discreetly purse them to bring the extra spit back into your mouth.
- "Lock" lips. If your initial kisses have gone well, try a lip lock, which can lead to closer kisses (and is a nice gateway for French kissing). Basically, you'll "stack" your lips so that (for instance) it looks like this:
- Your lower lip
- Your partner's lower lip
- Your upper lip
- Your partner's upper lip
- At first, putting your date's lower lip between yours is the safest bet. Most people have larger lower lips, making them easier to grab gently with your lips.
- Make sure to breathe. Ideally, you'll be able to breathe softly through your nose while you're kissing. If that's not possible, though, break away for a second to take a breath.
- Don't feel self-conscious about being out of breath or needing to take a break for a second. Breathing hard is an indication that you're nervous and excited, which your partner will probably find flattering.
- Use your hands. Don't just let your hands hang at your sides like two limp fettuccini noodles — put them to good use!
- Place your hands lightly on your partner's shoulders or around his or her waist. (In Western culture, girls generally put their hands on a boys shoulders while he puts his hands around her waist.)
- Take the intimacy up a notch by pulling your partner in closer.
- Put your hands on the sides of his or her face, using your thumb to sweep across the cheekbone, or put one hand under his or her chin and tilt it upward.
- Another seriously sensual move is to put both hands around the back of your partner's head and tangle them in his or her hair, gently pulling.
- Test using tongue. Once you're in a lip lock with your partner's lower lip between both of yours, lightly run the tip of your tongue over it. If you can move it slowly, even better.
- See how your partner responds. If he or she presses in closer or returns the gesture, you're probably clear to keep increasing the intensity of the kiss. If your date pulls away, maybe it's best to pull back the tongue for now and stick to lips-only kisses.
- Try French kissing (optional). Using your tongue during a kiss is, in Western culture, referred to as a French kiss. Why do the French get the credit? Who knows! Here's how to get started:
- Sweep your tongue along the inside of your partner's lower lip. Try to move slowly and lightly at first, increasing speed and pressure only if your partner seems to respond well.
- Slide the tip of your tongue inside your partner's mouth and gently move it against the tip of his or her tongue. Use light, darting motions and keep your tongue moving — letting it sit limply in your partner's mouth isn't appealing and will bring a quick end to the kissing.
- Try deeper and harder strokes if your partner seems responsive.
- Mix it up. Don't feel obligated to keep the intensive tongue activity going forever. Alternate soft and hard, slow and fast, deep and shallow. You can even go back to using only your lips for a few minutes.
- Alternating your technique will keep your partner from being able to predict what's coming next. Maintaining this sense of surprise and spontaneity helps your kisses avoid becoming stale.
- Gently nibble your partner's lips (optional). Teeth aren't a necessary element of kissing, but a grazing them over your partner's lip can introduce another unexpected element. Here are some quick pointers:
- Keep the pressure as light as possible. Remember that you're aiming to nibble, not bite.
- Move slowly. Again, keeping your pace gentle will help prevent accidentally chomping on your partner's lip.
- When your lips are locked, place your teeth over your partner's lower lip and slowly pull back until your teeth are almost at the end of the lip. Pause for a moment, then resume kissing as usual.
- Don't break out the biters too much. They should be an occasional perk, not the main attraction.
- Be prepared for rejection. Not everyone likes a side of teeth with their kisses. If your partner doesn't respond well, try not to be too offended — it's probably a matter of personal taste, not a lapse in your technique.
- Increase the intensity with occasional breaks. Pull away for a moment to look into your partner's eyes, whisper something in his or her ear, or simply catch your breath and marvel at your good fortune.
- Instead of putting a damper on the action, these small moments can actually make kissing more intimate. It gives your partner the sense that you see him or her as a complete person, and not simply something to kiss.
- Try to pick a trustworthy partner. Smooching someone you trust can ease a lot of the anxiety of your first kiss. If you knew you were giving someone his or her first kiss you'd try to be patient and understanding, so expect the same of your partner.
- Keep in mind that an awkward first kiss isn't the end of the relationship (or the world). Actually, it can build intimacy through having a shared experience. As long as you can laugh it off, you'll be fine.
- Remember, everyone has gone through having their first kiss. Odds are that most people are more awkward about it than you'll be, even if you don't know it.
- Prepare your mouth. Use chapstick or lipgloss to smooth over chapped lips, and brush your teeth and tongue well. If your mouth feels a little stale, use breath mints or spray to freshen up.
- Knowing that your mouth is clean and appealing can help you feel more confident about kissing.
- That being said, though, don't feel like you need to obsess over cleanliness. Most mouths just "taste" warm, unless you've recently eaten something pungent (like onions or garlic) or you've just woken up in the morning.
- Don't rush. You only get one first kiss! Unless you're both so overwhelmed with desire that you have to kiss right now or the world will end, draw it out. It can be tremendously exciting and sensual to tease the kiss before it happens, keeping eye contact the whole time.
- Let the other person take the lead (optional). If you're nervous about not knowing the right techniques, let your partner initiate what happens during the kiss. Imitate what he or she does until you're comfortable trying your own moves.
- Take a few calculated risks. As you become more comfortable with kissing, try to take the lead on initiating kisses or working on new techniques. If your partner doesn't respond well, simply write it off as personal preference and try something else.
- Get close. Since the possibility of a goodbye kiss always beckons—and assuming it's your desire—it's best to start getting close sooner than later. Otherwise, you will find yourself saying your goodbyes with what feels like a chasm between you, making the swoop in for the kiss very conspicuous and awkward.
- Guys, this is when you get the dreaded last-minute-turn-and-kiss-on-the-cheek routine, which is second only to the phrase, "You remind me of my brother," for most-deflating date ending. As you walk your date to the car, the door, etc., put your hand (or a jacket) on your date's shoulder or back. This breaks the touch barrier, gently lets your date know your intentions, and gives you an excuse to stand very close all at the same time.
- Watch your date's reaction. If your date angles his or her body away from you or speeds up to create distance, don't try to complete the goodnight kiss—and don't let your ego make a fool of you. Simply flash a big smile, thank them for the lovely time, and go about your business. It could simply be that your date isn't ready to kiss yet.
- Maintain eye contact. Making eye contact while standing close is a universally acknowledged indicator that a post-date kiss is about to take place.
- If the eye contact becomes too long, break and reestablish it as necessary; it's better to let your eyes dart around than subject your date to an interrogation-style stare down. One good way to break eye contact while maintaining the romance is to glance down at your date's lips
- It may feel awkward to make your desires so clear, just remember that by giving your date a heads-up, you will make the kiss go much more smoothly and improve the odds that it will turn into a glorious make out session. Trying to plant a kiss by surprise, on the other hand, may result in bumped noses and teeth, a startled pullback, and much awkwardness.
- Stop the conversation. When people get nervous, they often compensate by finding anything to talk about, killing the kissing opportunities.
- While you shouldn't try to end the conversation abruptly, which might come across as trying to get over with your goodbyes, you shouldn't encourage your date to ramble, either.
- Let the chatter die down by keeping your responses friendly but minimal.
- Consider breaking the kiss barrier. If everything is going well but you're not quite ready to dive into full-blown romantic kissing, lean in for a hug and kiss the person on the cheek.
- Don't confuse this with a friendly peck smack in the middle the cheek; make your feelings clear by placing the kiss close to the ear or mouth and letting your lips linger for a second, or whisper something flirty in their ear with lips touching. This will help the other person know that the kiss isn't meant in a platonic context.
- Keep it simple. If this is a first kiss with this person—or, more importantly still, a first date—don't overdo it. Keep your lips softly parted and either plant a straightforward kiss on your partner's lips or up the ante by gently locking lips.
- Resist the temptation to kiss hard or with tongue, unless you've been chasing this person for quite some time. It might seem too forward and shut down future opportunities.
- Follow your date's lead. Pay attention to how your date responds and moves during the kiss. If they lean closer or linger, you may be able to transition into more romantic kissing; otherwise, end the kiss by pulling slowly back, reopening your eyes to make eye contact, and smiling.
EditNon-Romantic Kissing - Pucker your lips. Having your lips puckered keeps them tight and somewhat closed, indicating that you're unwilling to open your mouth for more intimacy. Most people will read a pucker as strictly platonic.
- To know if you're puckering your lips correctly, kiss in the air. How loud is the kissing noise? It should be a clearly audible "pop" of your lips as you part them while sucking air in. A romantic kiss will barely make this noise because your lips are much more relaxed.
- Make your intentions clear. If you want to kiss someone on the cheek and that someone is at risk of misinterpreting your intentions, make it clear that you're not going for the mouth by turning your head off to the side before you lean in. Try to plant the kiss squarely in the middle of the cheek so that it's not veering for more romantic areas such as the ear or mouth.
- If you're uncomfortable actually kissing the other person's skin, try air kissing. Lean in so that your cheek is touching the side of the other person's cheek, and kiss the air with a few quick and audible puckers. For extra effect, pull back, switch sides, and do it again.
- Keep it brief. The amount of time your lips spend on the other person's cheek or lips should be limited to whatever it takes to make that kissing noise described in the previous step—nothing more. If your lips linger, it won't seem so platonic.
- Kiss out of respect or worship. Bow or kneel before the other person. Look up in respect. Remain in this position during the kiss. Take the person's hand gently and bring it close to your lips.
EditTest Your Knowledge - Live in the moment. You will not kiss as well if your mind is somewhere else. For example, when kissing, try to avoid thoughts like "What is he/she thinking about?", "Do I look good tonight?", or anything else. Don't be too self-conscious, or have any thoughts outside the kiss if you can help it. Instead, concentrate on the way the other person's lips feel against yours.
- If you aren't getting the kiss that you expected, you may want to read How to Deal With Common Kissing Issues to troubleshoot problems that many people run into.
- Be aware that kissing (especially deep kissing) may transmit infectious viruses, such as herpes simplex or infectious mononucleosis.
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