| How to Let Go of Control in a Relationship Posted: 08 Aug 2018 05:00 PM PDT Being controlling often stems from a simple desire to feel secure and happy with how things are going. Unfortunately, trying to take too much control ends up having the opposite effect, especially when it comes to relationships. To let go of control in a relationship, start by learning to live in the moment instead of worrying about the outcome of a situation. When it comes to conflicts, try to have more faith in your partner and allow things to unfold rather than controlling every aspect of a situation. EditLiving in the Present - Take a few deep breaths when you feel anxious about losing control. Focusing on breathing is one of the best ways to bring yourself fully into the present moment. When negative situations arise with your partner, try taking a slow, deep breath in as you count to 5. Exhale as you count to 5 once more. Focus only on your breath as you take it in and push it out of your lungs.[1]
- Consider learning meditation, which focuses on mindfulness, breathing, and centering.
- Step away for a moment before you react. When you feel like you're losing control of a situation with your partner, a natural reaction is anger -- from there, things tend to escalate. Before reacting angrily, step into another room. Give yourself a few minutes away from your partner to think about why you're reacting so negatively.[2]
- Use positive self-talk to calm down. Remind yourself, "I have control over my body, my reactions, and my perception." When negative emotions are triggered by a situation with your partner, you may even find it helpful to repeat to yourself, "I do not have control over that, and that's okay."[3]
- Accept that you cannot control the outcome of every situation. Micromanaging a situation might make you feel like you're in control, but in reality, you aren't. No matter how much you obsess over details, the outcome of a situation may still be out of your hands. Remind yourself that no matter what the outcome is, you're going to be okay.[4]
- No one is omnipotent or all-powerful. The future is unknown, and no amount of planning can change that.
- When you feel yourself getting anxious about an unknown outcome, take a few slow, deep breaths. Stay focused on your breathing and remind yourself that you can't control everything -- no one can.
- See a therapist if you're having trouble letting go on your own. Struggling with letting go can be difficult, especially if it affects your well-being and your relationship. If you've tried letting go on your own and haven't had much success, consider talking to a therapist. They might help you understand yourself and your behaviors in a more positive way.[5]
EditTrusting Your Partner - Let go of the need to be right by considering your partner's viewpoint. You may find that many arguments with your partner revolve around who's right and who's wrong. It's normal for a controlling person to feel like they are always right in every situation. Allow for the possibility that your partner is right about something. Have faith in them.
- Instead of focusing on being right, focus on listening to your partner and understanding them better.
- For example, instead of demanding that you drive to a destination because you know the route and your partner doesn't, let your partner drive and take the route they had in mind to get there.
- Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. It's easy to assume the worst, especially when you feel like you've lost control of a situation. Try to manage your expectations and refrain from judging a situation until you know all the facts.[6]
- For example, if your partner went out with friends and they haven't texted you back in hours, remind yourself that that doesn't mean your partner is doing something behind your back.
- In the meantime, instead of worrying and doubting, get involved in one of your hobbies or make some phone calls to catch up with friends.
- Let go of jealousy by figuring out the source of jealous feelings. Jealousy can result from lots of things, yet what's important is how you respond to it. Often, jealousy results from your own insecurities and not from a partner's actions. If there's no reason to doubt your partner, be willing to let your jealousy go. It's not worth holding on to negative feelings or being suspicious if your partner is honest and upfront.[7]
- Ask yourself if you feel jealous because your partner is acting suspiciously or because you've been hurt in the past and don't want to be hurt again.
- Forgive your partner and move forward together. If something happened in your relationship that you're struggling to let go of, be willing to move forward with trust and hope. Talk to your partner about moving forward and stay away from discussing the past if it doesn't help your relationship. Live each day as it comes.[8]
- For example, if you want to forgive your partner for cheating, be willing to believe them when they say it won't happen again and that you can trust them. If you constantly doubt them or think they are lying, this will not help you let go.
- See a couples' counselor if you need help dealing with trust issues. If you and your partner can't find a good dynamic or you're really struggling to trust them, consider seeing a counselor. A counselor can help you navigate how to communicate and understand your partner better. If you or your partner have struggled to let a past experience in the relationship go, therapy can help move you through this process.[9]
- Seek a therapist who specializes in working with couples.
EditBeing Flexible - Let go of your ideal relationship. There is no perfect person or perfect partner. Both you and your partner have flaws and must live with those imperfections. If you look at other couples and think they are perfect, remember that they have flaws, too. Be willing to love and accept your partner as they are.
- Stay calm when plans change. Even when you plan every detail of something, outside forces can cause those carefully laid plans to change in an instant. When this happens, try to avoid assuming that all of your plans are ruined. Stay calm and focus on ways to navigate change to achieve your original goal.[10]
- For example, if you and your partner are planning to go hiking, but then your partner's parents show up for a surprise visit, stay calm. You can reschedule your hike for the next weekend, or even invite your partner's parents along!
- Be willing to compromise. Most controlling people want to do things their way all the time, which belittles their partner's needs. Try to find solutions that legitimize the needs of both parties. Listen to what your partner wants, explain what you want, and then try to find a way to meet in the middle.[11]
- For instance, if you want to see a foreign film and your partner wants to watch a big-budget action movie, find a different movie that you are both interested in seeing and go with that.
- You can also enjoy activities that your partner doesn't like with your friends. For example, you could see the foreign film with your friend so that your partner doesn't feel pressured to go.
- Don't compromise your values. Your personal values are the core of who you are. It's true that compromise is important for every relationship, but there are some things you don't have to be flexible about. If going along with what your partner wants means sacrificing beliefs that are fundamental to who you are, don't feel that you have to compromise in that situation.[12]
- For example, if your partner thinks it's fine to date or sleep with other people when they're traveling out of town but you want a monogamous relationship, you shouldn't have to compromise on that.
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Cut T‐Shirts for Craft Projects Posted: 08 Aug 2018 09:00 AM PDT T-shirts are a staple in many people's closets. Sometimes they become too old and stained to be worn. Instead of discarding the T-shirt, however, you could cut it up and use it for other crafts. How you cut the T-shirt depends on what sort of project you will be doing. With the right technique, you can ensure that you get the job done quickly and with minimal waste. EditCutting T-Shirts into Squares - Spread the T-shirt you want to use on a flat surface. Smooth out any ripples or wrinkles from the shirt, and make sure that the hems are aligned. If you are using a printed T-shirt, keep the design facing up so that you can see where you are cutting.
- Plain T-shirts work great for rags as well as scraps for other sewing projects, such as toys. Printed T-shirts work great for bags, quilts, and patches.
- Cut across the T-shirt with fabric scissors, just below the sleeves. If you need to, use a ruler and a marker to draw a horizontal line across the front of the shirt first, then cut along the line that you drew. Set the top part containing the sleeves aside.[1]
- Alternatively, you can use a ruler and a rotary cutter to cut across the shirt.
- If you are using a printed T-shirt, cut the sleeves off first, then cut straight across the shirt, above the design.
- Turn the shirt inside-out and cut the side seams off. Turn the shirt inside out first, then set it down on a flat surface. Smooth out any wrinkles, then cut the side seams off along the stitching. Set the 2 pieces aside when you are done.[2]
- Use fabric scissors or a rotary cutter to do this.
- If you want to, you can cut the bottom hem off too.
- Use fabric scissors to cut a rectangle from the top part of the shirt. Go back to the top part of the shirt that you set aside earlier; it's the part with the sleeves. Use a ruler and marker to draw the largest rectangle you can between the sleeves, bottom of the collar, and cut edge.[3]
- To save more fabric, do the front of the shirt first, then the back. The collar is usually bigger in the front than in the back.
- Cut the sleeves apart with fabric scissors to make rectangles. Cut the sleeves off the remaining fabric first. Next, turn them inside-out, then cut the seam off. Spread the sleeves flat, and cut across the top (shoulder) edge to make them more rectangular.
- You can leave the bottom edge hemmed, or you can cut the hem off. You can use a rotary cutter for this.
- Use the scraps. These rectangular pieces are perfect for sewing together into a quilt or blanket. Make them easier to work with by ironing fusible interfacing to the back.[4] You can also cut the pieces up further to sew into a simple doll, teddy bear, or cat toy.
EditCreating T-Shirt Yarn - Get a plain T-shirt without any side seams. If the shirt has side seams, they will come apart once you go to cut the T-shirt into yarn. Also, do not use a T-shirt that has an image printed onto it, like a band logo or a comic book character, as this will prevent the shirt from stretching.
- Cut the top of the shirt off below the armpits. Spread your T-shirt on a flat surface. Place a ruler across the shirt, just under the armpits. Cut across the shirt with a rotary cutter, using the ruler as a guide. Discard the top part of the shirt, along with the sleeves.[5]
- If you don't have a rotary cutter, use the ruler and a marker to draw a horizontal line instead, then cut across the line with fabric scissors.
- Cut the hem off of the shirt. While not absolutely necessary, this will help make your yarn more consistent in thickness and texture. Simply cut straight across the bottom hem just above the stitching. You can do this with a ruler and rotary cutter, or with fabric scissors.[6]
- Discard the hem when you are done. You don't need it.
- Fold the shirt in half, leaving a gap between the left and right edges. Take the left side of the shirt and pull it towards the right. Stop when there is a 1-inch (2.5-cm) gap between the left side edge and the right side edge. This will reduce the amount of cutting that you have to do.[7]
- Cut 1-inch (2.5-cm) slits into the side of the shirt, stopping at the gap. Begin cutting on the left side of the shirt, and finish cutting from the right side. If you were to unfold your shirt, you would see 1-inch (2.5-cm) wide strips running across it, and stopping from the right side edge.[8]
- Unfold the shirt and spread it so that gap in the right side edge widens. Unfold the shirt first. Next, open it up and spread it out so that the 1-inch (2.5-cm) gap widens into a 2-inch (5.1-cm) gap. You may have to move the loops formed by the cut left side of the shirt out of the way.[9]
- Cut diagonal lines across the 2-inch (5.1-cm) gap to separate the strips. Begin cutting at the bottom-left corner of the gap. Cut across the gap at an upward angle towards the next horizontal strip. Repeat this process, cutting from the bottom-left to the upper-right until you reach the top of the shirt.
- Envision the gaps as 1-inch (2.5-cm) tall rectangles. You are cutting from the bottom-left corner to the upper-right corner of each rectangle.[10]
- Pull on the T-shirt strip to make the ends curl in. Hold the T-shirt strip loosely in 1 hand, and use your other hand to gently pull it through your hand. This will cause the edges of the T-shirt to curl inwards and form a tube-like shape. You may need to do this a few times.[11]
- Roll the yarn into a ball. Wrap the end of the yarn a few times around your index and middle fingers. Slide the wrapped yarn off your fingers, then wrap the yarn across the loop a few more times to form a ball. Continue wrapping the yarn around the ball, changing direction often, until you run out.[12]
- Use the yarn to knit or crochet. Because of how thick and bulky this yarn is, it probably won't make very good socks, hats, or scarves. It is great for making items that will see a lot of wear-and-tear, such as dishcloths, pot holders, and rugs, however.
EditMaking Crafts with T-shirts - Cut the collar and sleeves off, then sew or tie the bottom to make a tote. Cut the sleeves off first, then cut a deep U-shape into the collar. Leave the shoulders intact to create the handles. Turn the shirt inside-out, sew across the bottom hem, then turn it right-side-out again.[13]
- Alternatively, cut a fringe into the bottom edge, then tie the fringe together.
- Turn an old shirt into a fringy scarf. Cut the top of a T-shirt off, just below the armpits. Next, cut 2-inch (5.1-cm) strips across the shirt. Start at the left side and stop from the right. Pull on the strips to make them narrower, then gather the right side together. Wrap and tie a strip of fabric around the right side to hold it together.
- Cut the thin strips from the leftover material of your shirt. It can come from the hem or sleeve.
- Cut the printed image out, then use it as a punky patch. Find a T-shirt with a cool printed image, such as a band logo. Cut down the side of the image, and halfway across the top and bottom. Fold the cut side of the in half, then use it as a guide for cutting the rest. Hand sew the patch to your desired item with a simple running stitch.[14]
- A running stitch is where you weave the needle up and down through the fabric.
- Use thread in a color that matches the patch for a seamless look. Use embroidery floss in a contrasting color for a punky look.
- Complete the punky look by adding safety pins and/or studs to your item.
- Great items to add patches to include: plain T-shirts, backpacks, shoulder bags, totes, and jean jackets.
- Turn several cut T-shirts into a cozy quilt. Using the square cutting method, cut several T-shirts apart into equal-sized squares. Sew the side edges of the T-shirts together to make a larger rectangle. Cut a large rectangle out of cotton fabric, then sew it to the back of the quilt, leaving a gap for turning. Turn the quilt right-side-out, then sew the gap shut.[15]
- The T-shirts can be plaint, printed, or a combination of both. The cotton fabric can be woven (plain) or jersey (T-shirt material).
- Make sure that you are sewing the fabric with the right sides facing in.
- Press the seams between the T-shirt squares with an iron before turning to reduce bulk.
- Topstitch down the seams between the T-shirt squares to complete the quilted look.
- Make a latch-hook rug from cut-up T-shirt strips. Cut several plain T-shirts into 1 by 4-inch (2.5 by 10.2-cm) strips. Pull on the strips to make them narrower and easier to use. Use a latch-hook to weave these strips onto a latch-hook mesh canvas.[16]
- You can find latch-hooks and latch-hook mesh canvases in craft stores.
- For a nicer finish, fold and sew bias tape around the edges.[17]
- If you are using a rotary cutter, be sure to cut on a piece of cardboard or a cutting mat so that you don't ruin your table.
- Make sure that the T-shirts are clean before you start using them.
- If you won't use the cut T-shirt squares right away, fold them up and put them away.
EditThings You'll Need EditCutting T-Shirts into Squares - T-shirt
- Fabric scissors or rotary cutter
- Ruler
- Marker
EditCreating T-Shirt Yarn - T-shirt, plain without side seams
- Fabric scissors or rotary cutter
- Ruler (if using a rotary cutter)
EditCutting T-Shirts in Other Ways EditSources and Citations }
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| How to Make Organic Pesticide Posted: 08 Aug 2018 01:00 AM PDT Aphids, spider mites, and other pests can cause serious damage to flowers, fruits, and vegetables. These creatures attack your garden in swarms, literally draining the life from your crops and often inviting disease in the process. Many chemical pesticides can prove unsafe for you and the environment or may make fruits and vegetables unsafe for consumption. Thankfully, there are many homemade, organic options for you to turn to in your war against pests. EditUsing Vegetables - Mix 1/2 c (113 g) of hot peppers with 1/2 c (113 g) of garlic or onion. You can use any hot peppers you like, such as jalapeno and habanero chili peppers. You can also use a combination of onion and garlic instead of one or the other. Chop up all the vegetables thoroughly.[1]
- Blend the vegetables together in an electric blender. Transfer the chopped veggies to a blender or food processor. Pulse the mixture until it forms a thick, chunky paste.
- Add the vegetable paste to 2 c (500 mL) of warm water. Measure out the warm water and pour it directly into the blender. Give the ingredients a stir to thoroughly mix them together.
- Pour the solution into a glass container and let it sit for 24 hours. You can also use a plastic container, but it will trap an unpleasant odor in the plastic. If possible, keep the container in a sunny location. If not, at least keep the mixture in a warm spot for about 24 hours.
- Strain the mixture. Pour the solution through a strainer, removing the vegetables and collecting the vegetable-infused water into another container. This water is your pesticide.
- You can discard the vegetables or put them in your compost.
- Pour your pesticide into a squirt bottle. Make sure that the spray bottle has first been cleaned with warm water and soap to rid it of any potential contaminants. Use a funnel to transfer the liquid into the squirt bottle and replace the nozzle.
- Spray your plants with the pesticide. Treat the infected plants every 4 to 5 days with the solution. After 3 or 4 treatments, the pests should scatter. If the area is thoroughly covered with the solution, this pesticide should keep bugs away for the rest of the season.
- Avoid spraying the plants during the sunniest parts of the day since it could burn your plants.
EditUsing Oil - Select a mild liquid dish-washing soap. Avoid anti-bacterial, scented, and other specialized soaps, since these may damage your plants. Dawn and castile soap are both great choices.[2]
- Mix 1 tbsp (15 mL) of mild soap with 1 c (250 mL) cooking oil. Measure out both ingredients and pour them into a large bowl. Use either canola or vegetable cooking oil for best results.[3]
- Combine 2 1/2 tsp (12 mL) of the mixture with 1 c (250 mL) of water. Stir the ingredients well to mix them thoroughly.
- Pour this new mixture into a large squirt bottle. Use a funnel to easily transfer the mixture into the spray bottle. Give the mixture another vigorous shake once you get it inside the bottle.
- Test the mix by spraying it onto a small portion of your plant. If the section of the plant you test the spray on wilts or changes color, try using a different soap for this pesticide or another type of pesticide.
- Spray the mixture anywhere you have problems. If you tested your solution and it did not cause any harm to your plant, spray it around your entire plant, including the undersides of leaves. Focus on areas where pests lay their eggs, since an oil spray is designed to target eggs and immature bugs.[4]
- Use the spray during the early morning or late afternoon, since direct sunlight could burn your plants after using oil.
EditUsing Soap - Opt for a mild liquid dish-washing soap. The milder your soap is, the less likely it is to have a harmful effect on your plants. Stay away from anti-bacterial, scented, and other specialized soaps.
- Mild soaps like Dawn and castile soap work perfectly.
- Mix a few tsp (10 to 15 mL) of soap into 1 gallon (4 L) of water. Combine the soap and water in a large bowl. Use your hands or a large spoon to mix the ingredients together.[5]
- Pour the solution into a large squirt bottle. Use a funnel to transfer the liquid and then replace the nozzle. You may not be able to fit all of the solution into a bottle! Just use the largest bottle you can find to make use of as much of the solution as possible.
- Test the mixture on your plants. Spray a small section of the infested plant with the solution and monitor it throughout the course of a day. If it does not wilt or change color, the solution is likely safe.
- Spray the pests directly with the mixture. Cover the top and undersides of leaves, focusing on the areas that seem the most overcome with pests. The spray works by removing the protective wax on the insect, which causes it to lose a fatal amount of water.[6]
- Continue to spray your plants every 2-3 days for the next 2 weeks. Since this pesticide is fairly diluted, continued application is the only way to ensure that the infestation ends.[7]
EditUsing Tobacco - Mix 1 c (250 mL) of loose tobacco into 1 gallon (4 L) of water. Combine the 2 ingredients thoroughly in a large bowl or container. Tobacco is useful in targeting caterpillars, aphids, and worms, but it is not safe to use on peppers, tomatoes, eggplants, or any member of the solanaceous plant family.[8]
- Sit the mixture out in the sun or in another warm location. Put the container somewhere it won't be disturbed. Allow the mixture to rest for 24 hours.
- Check the color of the mixture. Ideally, the pesticide will look similar to the hue of a light tea. If it is too dark, dilute it with water. If it is too light to see, allow it to sit an additional few hours.
- Add 3 tbsp (45 mL) of mild liquid dish soap to the solution. Opt for a mild soap like Dawn or castile soap for best results. Pour it directly into the mixture, then stir thoroughly to combine the ingredients.
- Pour the mixture into a large squirt bottle. Use a funnel to transfer to liquid into a squirt bottle and replace the nozzle. Shake the solution inside the bottle once more to combine it further.
- Spray the infested plants with the solution. Focus on areas that show the most damage, but also cover spots that still seem in good condition.
EditUsing Oranges - Peel an orange and reserve the rind. Citrus is especially helpful in targeting soft-bodied bugs, including slugs, aphids, fungus gnats, and mealy bugs. When sprayed directly onto the pests, this pesticide also works against ants and roaches.
- If you do not have a fresh orange, use 1.5 tsp (7.4 g) of dried citrus peels or 1/2 oz (15 mL) of orange oil.
- Put the peels in a glass container and add 2 c (500 mL) of boiling water. Fill a kettle with 2 c (500 mL) of water and bring it to a boil. Pour the boiling water into the glass container and allow the solution to sit in a warm spot for about 24 hours.
- Strain the solution and save the citrus-infused water. Pour the mixture into a strainer, removing the peels and saving the water. You can then discard the peels or put them in your compost.
- Add a few drops of castile soap to the water. Peppermint-scented castile soap, such as Dr. Bronner's, may prove especially effective. Mix the solution thoroughly to combine the ingredients.
- Pour the pesticide into a large squirt bottle. Use a funnel to transfer the liquid into the bottle and replace the nozzle. Spray the entire plant with the solution to ward off most soft-bodied pests. Spray it directly on top of ants and roaches.
EditUsing Chrysanthemums - Combine 1/2 c (113 g) of dried chrysanthemums with 4 c (1 L) of water. Chrysanthemums contain a chemical component called pyrethrum, which is capable of paralyzing many garden insects. Mix the dried petals and water together in a large stockpot.[9]
- Boil the mixture for 20 minutes. Place the stockpot on your stove over high heat bring it to a boil. Boiling the mixture releases the pyrethrum into the water. Turn off the heat after 20 minutes.
- Pour the solution through a strainer. Remove the dried flowers and save the infused water. You can discard the dried flowers or place them in your compost.
- Pour the pesticide solution into a spray bottle and treat plants. Use a funnel to transfer the liquid to the bottle. Focus on spraying the most damaged areas before moving on to less damaged areas. Cover the entire plant with solution, including the undersides of leaves.
- Store the solution for up to 2 months. Keep the solution in a cool, dark place, like your cupboard. After 2 months, the solution may no longer be effective, so it's best to throw it out and make a new batch.
EditUsing Neem - Combine 1/2 oz (15 mL) of neem oil with 1/2 tsp (2 1/2 mL) mild soap. Mix the 2 ingredients together in a bowl. You can get neem oil in most grocery and health food stores, as well as online. Use a mild soap like Dawn or castile soap for the best results.[10]
- Neem oil, which comes from a bitter tree leaf, is thought to be one of the most effective natural pesticides in existence.
- Mix the neem and soap into 2 quarts (2 L) of warm water. Fill a large container with the water, then add the oil and soap mixture to it. Stir slowly until the ingredients are thoroughly mixed together.
- Pour the pesticide into a spray bottle. Transfer the solution to a spray bottle with a funnel. Spray the pesticide immediately, dousing the entire plant and focusing on spots where you can clearly see pests or signs of pests.
- Re-apply the pesticide regularly to prevent any infestation.
- Determine which pests are causing damage to your plants. Many pests can actually be helpful to your garden, but some pesticides will kill these along with the harmful pests. Start with a pesticide that specifically targets problem insects before moving onto a more inclusive variety.
- Create a more potent pesticide by combining different organic pesticide solutions. For instance, neem oil can be added to a chrysanthemum spray.
- Avoid spraying pesticides during the hottest and sunniest parts of the day since it could burn your plants.
- While some sprays will act as deterrents for pests, your spray will work more effectively if you spray them directly onto the insects.
- Many pesticides, especially tobacco and soap-based sprays, can cause damage to certain plants. Test your pesticide on a small portion of a plant before dousing the entire thing. This way, you can see whether or not a certain pesticide is likely to cause more harm than good.
EditThings You'll Need - Hot peppers
- Garlic cloves
- Onions
- Water
- Mild dish soap
- Cooking oil
- Tobacco
- Orange peels
- Chrysanthemums
- Neem oil
EditRelated wikiHows EditSources and Citations
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