| How to Stay Calm While Parenting Posted: 29 Aug 2018 05:00 PM PDT When things get heated between you and your kids, it's easy to let your emotions get the best of you. Keeping calm while parenting is an important tool, though. A calm attitude helps you think through things rather than reacting in the moment. It also lets your child know that you're in control of the situation. So take a deep breath, speak clearly and slowly, and help both you and your child calmly work through situations where emotions may otherwise drive the conversation. EditCalming Down When You're Emotional - Take a deep breath. One of the easiest things you can do to help keep from reacting emotionally is to inhale deeply, hold the breath for 2-3 seconds, and exhale slowly. This doesn't need to calm you down completely. Instead, a deep breath helps keep you from exploding in unplanned and emotional ways.[1]
- Take as many breaths as you need so that you feel prepared to move forward. Your next step may be to keep the conversation going or to remove yourself from the situation temporarily. Either way, you should be able to do so in a cool, collected manner.
- Count down to a calm moment. You can practice this mentally to help keep yourself calm, or you can count out loud for your kids. Try slowly counting backward from a number like 5 or 10 down to 1. By the time you reach 1, your goal should be to speak calmly about a situation with your child.[2]
- If you are counting in your own mind, try taking a deep breath with each number. As you breathe in between each number, let yourself know, "in 4 more counts, I will be calm and collected."
- If you are counting out loud for your kids, try saying, "I'm going to count down from 5. By the time I reach 1, everyone needs to be speaking with an inside voice." This gives your kids a few seconds to reflect on the situation themselves and adjust their own actions.
- Take a moment away from the situation. Provided everyone is safe before you leave, walk away from the situation for a moment. Find a place where you can be alone to gather your thoughts and help get control of yourself. Only return when you feel in control of your emotions.[3]
- You can even consider designating a certain spot your quiet area. For example, if you have a home office, let your kids know, "I'm going to go sit in the office for a while. Everyone needs to be quiet during this time. We'll continue this conversation when I come back."
- Calming down doesn't have to mean that you have changed your stance on the situation or that you are giving in. In fact, responding to a situation firmly but calmly often lets a child know that you're in charge, and that they can't push your buttons to get what they want.
- After you step away, do a short meditation to recenter yourself. Simply close your eyes and focus on your breath.
- Separate your emotions from theirs. It's natural to meet your child's anger with your own, but your kid doesn't have to dictate your emotions. When your kid responds to you with anger, remind yourself that their emotions are not yours. Tell yourself, "I was calm before they started yelling, and there is no reason for me to not be calm now."[4]
- Giving your kids an angry response lets them know they can push your buttons. It's a way for them to test your authority. Keeping calm shows them that they can't manipulate your emotions.
- Fake your calm. It can be tough to quiet an emotional response. If you can project a calm attitude, though, it can help keep your children calm and responsive. Try to keep your face as neutral as possible, look your kids directly in the eyes, and speak slowly and softly but firmly.[5]
- When you have resolved the situation or your kids are in another room, let yourself get your emotions out. Write them down, talk through the situation with your partner or a friend, or take some time to work out the stress by jogging, dancing, training or any other physical activity.[6]
EditMaintaining Your Calm and Controlling Your Emotions - Speak clearly, slowly, and firmly. The balance between gentle and firm can be difficult to find, but it's incredibly effective. Whether you're giving instructions or correcting behavior, speaking to your children in a slow, gentle, and firm tone lets them know that you're in charge of the situation. Keep your words clear and concise to make sure they understand.[7]
- For example, if your kid pushed another kid at school, let them know, "It wasn't nice to push your friend. It hurt their feelings and hurt them physically. That's why we don't push in this house."
- Look your kids in the eyes when you are speaking to them. If possible, try to get close to their eye level. This lets them know you're serious while also showing them that you respect them enough to communicate directly to them.
- Be consistent in your requests. It's a natural temptation to budge on your requests to get things to calm down. Consistency will ultimately help set expectations for the future, though, and keep your kids calm in those situations. Acknowledge your child's feelings, but stay firm on your requests. Use "I" statements to express how you feel and what you want.[8]
- If, for example, your child doesn't like what you made for dinner, let them know, "I'm sorry that you don't like the meal I made for us. I still expect you at the dinner table at 7 p.m., though."
- This doesn't mean you shouldn't ever budge. For example, if you tell your teen they can't stay out past curfew but they let you know it's for a study session, it's perfectly reasonable to compromise with them based on that new information.
- Ask questions to help your child contextualize their actions. Both younger and older kids fear judgement and try to avoid criticism. Instead of offering unsolicited advice, ask your kid questions to help them think through difficult situations for themselves.[9]
- If your younger child doesn't understand why they should be honest, for example, you can ask them, "How would you feel if I lied and told you something, then later you found it it wasn't true? Would you be happy?"
- For an older child who wants to quit a school play halfway through the rehearsal period to have more free time, ask them, "How would you feel if you had to stop doing something you loved because one of your peers didn't want to keep their commitment?"
- Take your time. Whether they are just excited or demanding something from you, it's easy to feel rushed by your kids. Instead of stressing to meet their demands, though, remind yourself that you can take as much time as you need. You know your schedule and your kid's, and no matter how urgent your child thinks the situation is, you still have time.[10]
- This goes for in-the-moment scenarios, as well as decisions. You don't need to rush to make a decision just because your child wants an answer. Give them a deadline such as, "I'll let you know before Friday." Then take as much time as you need.
EditResponding Calmly Everyday - Help younger kids explain their emotions. Part of the reason younger children act out is because they don't have the tools to express themselves. If your young child is acting out, help them put a name to their emotions and give them an alternate course of action.[11]
- It's important to give young children the words to express how they feel, as they likely can't do it on their own. You should also model this behavior for them by expressing your own emotions when you feel upset.
- If, for example, you tell your child they can't watch TV and they start crying or screaming, let them know, "I understand you're angry right now. We all get angry sometimes, and that's okay. But getting angry won't get your TV time. How about we go color instead?"
- Alternatively, if your child gets so excited over something positive that they seem upset, like crying when you say you are going to the aquarium, tell them, "I know you're excited. I'm excited, too! Instead of crying, though, let's do a happy dance!" Then dance with them.
- Allow older children to distance themselves. Middle school and high school-aged children have a developmental need to distance themselves from you as they grow older. It may seem counterintuitive, but it's actually helpful to give them this distance. The less you pressure them to know the smaller details of their life, the more likely they are to come to you.[12]
- This doesn't mean you need to let them do whatever they want with no accountability. Instead, it simply means giving them distance at home or when you're around one another.
- If, for example, you and your teen are going to the mall, don't make them ask to wander around themselves. Instead, tell them, "I need to pick up things from this store. I'll be there if you need me. If not, meet me at the entrance to the parking garage at noon."
- Before you part ways, make sure that your child knows how to contact you in case of an emergency, as well as what to do while they wait for you.
- Establish expectations and consequences beforehand. Knowing beforehand what will happen if expectations aren't met can help keep a situation from getting heated. Sit down with your child and discuss your expectations. Then, talk about what consequences will be in place if they fail to meet those expectations.[13]
- Let your kid have some input on both the expectations and the consequences. This can help them feel respected and keep them accountable for their actions.
- For example, if you're establishing chores you may ask them, "Would you rather take out the trash 3 times a week or do the dishes twice a week?" Then let them know, "If the dishes aren't done on your days, you won't get to use tech that night except for homework."
- Avoid aggressive or unclear communication. Aggressive or unclear communication can make your child feel threatened or attacked. Try to stay away from sarcasm, threats, and labeling.[14]
- Instead of saying, "You're so selfish!" try saying, "I expect you to contribute to this household by doing the dishes."
- Physical punishment such as spanking often leads to more emotional responses from children and may prompt even worse behavior. For a calm household, take physical discipline off the table.
EditSources and Citations
Cite error: <ref> tags exist, but no <references/> tag was found
|
| How to Prepare for an Audition Posted: 29 Aug 2018 09:00 AM PDT With the right preparation, you can excel at your audition and get the part of your dreams. Be sure to research the part, the character, and the director. Practice as much as possible for your audition. Before your audition, sleep well, eat breakfast, and dress comfortably yet neutrally. Break a leg! EditResearching the Part - Familiarize yourself with the overview of the event. Research the event to learn more about the history or nature of the performance. Knowing all of the players or parts and understanding the tone and style of the play will help you get into the role and excel during the audition. Read everything you can find regarding the part and the audition.
- If you can't find much information on the part itself, try to research the director to understand their other works. This will still give you an inside understanding at what they may expect.[1]
- Go to the library and find books on the play or event.
- Read the entire play multiple times to familiarize yourself with the content.
- Search Google for similar music or dance performances.
- Research the role so you understand the character's arc. Research the particular character or role as much as you can. This will help you get into character even before you start practicing lines. Understanding the character or role will help you nail the scene you're assigned because you deeply understand the character or role.[2]
- For music auditions, you can look into your instrument or member's significance. For example, if you are trying out for an indie rock band, what was their last drummer like? Where does the band find their musical inspiration?
- For dance auditions, You can research your part in relation to the performance. Are you the dance lead, or a supporting dancer? For example, If you are auditioning for the lead part in Swan Lake, look up who has played this part before and what qualities the part embody (such as graceful).
- For theater auditions, if you are trying out for Ophelia's role in Hamlet, look up who she was, what she did in the play, and the historical significance of her character.
- Learn about the director and the casting agent. Research who they are, their background, and other gigs worked on. You will feel more comfortable putting a face to a name and having a sense of familiarity with who you are auditioning for.[3]
- Type the director or name of the play into Google and see what you can find. Ask other actors or casting directors if they are familiar with the character or the director.
- For dance auditions, contact the rehearsal director.
- For music auditions, you can learn about the conductor and composer.
EditPracticing for the Audition - Memorize your lines, songs, or music. Start memorizing your part as far in advance as you can. Memorize your lines or music exactly as you will be performing them in the audition. Practice your lines or your music over and over until you know it by heart.[4]
- If you are unfamiliar with a word, look it up and familiarize yourself.
- If a part is particularly tricky, give yourself extra time to perfect it.
- If you are asked to "cold read" either lines or music, don't sweat it! Stay focused on the lines or the music and get into the part.
- Rehearse with friends or in front of a mirror. Saying your lines, playing the music, or practicing your dance routine in advance will help you confidently deliver your part during the audition. Find friends to rehearse lines with, reading off of the script. You can also recite your part or practice your choreography in front of a mirror.
- Also practice improvising your lines and going off book.
- Get into character by altering your accent, body language, or clothing if necessary. The audition is based around how well you can get into your role, whether it be a dance, character, or musical performance. Embody your role by using an accent, altering your body language, or using props. [5]
- If you are auditioning for a guitar part, be the guitarist. Be confident and bold, and don't worry if all eyes are on you during a solo.
- If you are auditioning for a play, ask yourself what the character would say or do. Infer as much as you can as if you were the character.
- Practice sight reading so you are prepared for anything. Sight reading, or "cold reading," is reading material with little or no time to prepare in advance. In some auditions, you will perform music or recite lines without reviewing them before. Practice auditioning with unfamiliar work to become comfortable with sight reading during your audition.[6]
- Find an unfamiliar play and practice acting out lines.
- Grab a piece of sheet music and start playing without looking at the entire piece.
EditGetting Physically Ready for the Audition - Get at least 8 hours of sleep the night before. Try to sleep for at least 8 hours so you are well rested and wake up refreshed. Sleeping well will ensure you perform as best as you can during your audition.[7]
- If you are nervous for your big day, try going to bed early, meditating before bed, and keeping your room dark.[8]
- Eat a large, balanced meal with protein before your audition. Try to eat something with protein for energy, though don't overstuff yourself. Some auditions last a long time, so eating high-energy food will help you keep your energy up throughout the audition process.[9]
- Eggs and fruit are good choices for breakfast.
- For lunch, try a large salad with nuts or fish.
- Avoid consuming dairy, coffee, or spicy foods before singing auditions. Foods with dairy produce mucous which can alter the sound of your voice. Coffee and spicy foods are harsh on the throat and not conducive to singing.[10]
- Dress comfortably yet professionally in neutral, flattering clothing. Wear something you will feel comfortable and confident in but that doesn't grab too much attention. Avoid dressing in costume; you will be styled to fit the part later. You want to look professional and neutral so you can fit any role.[11]
- Avoid wearing bulky jewelry, or choosing loose clothing.
- Wear shoes that are closed-toed, lightweight, and comfortable, like flats or sneakers. Do not wear flip flops
- If you are auditioning for a music role, tailor your outfit to fit the genre while still looking professional. For example, if you are trying out for a rock band, wear a black button-down shirt.
- Style your hair to flatter your face. With whatever hairstyle, make sure it flatters your face rather than hiding your features. Comb your hair out of your face or tie up your hair in a ponytail.[12]
- You can also use small clips or bobby pins to help hold hair off your face if need be.
EditTrying out for the Part - Come early and know what to expect. Arrive to your audition at least 15 minutes early to show your initiative and time management. Be prepared to answer questions about yourself and your schedule. Review the audition notice to make sure you know the audition guidelines.[13]
- Check in when you arrive and be ready to audition at any time. You never know the schedule the casting director is working with.
- Introduce yourself and the part you are auditioning for.
- Expect to audition with the casting director, a cameraman, and a reader. There may be directors, producers, and associates in the room with you. Be prepared to audition in front of any number of people.
- Be ready to alter your prepared material and to "cold read."
- Clear your schedule so you aren't worried about timing. Eliminate any stress or worry during the day of your audition. If you can, don't schedule other arrangements into your day. Have time to arrive early and stay late.[14]
- Expect delays in the audition process. Some auditions run over their time, and some applicants will show up late.
- Improvise if you forget your lines. If you forget a line of the monologue, fake it. It is better to improvise than to freeze. This will show the casting director that you are flexible and can roll with the punches. Most won't even notice and the ones who do will appreciate your creativity and ability to keep your performance going under duress.
- You can do this for music and dance auditions, as well as theater. If you forget your music, try to improvise something similar on the spot. If you are dancing and go out of your sequence, improvise your moves until you get back on track. This will at least show your creativity and ability to adapt.
- Act and speak with confidence in yourself. You've practiced the part, you've done the research, now it is time to show them what you can do! Act confidently as you arrive to the audition, and know that you will do the best you can.
- Be patient when waiting for a decision. You never know what schedule the directors are working on. You could receive a call back that same day, or weeks or years later. Be patient and don't worry if you don't get a call back immediately![15]
- It is not common to contact the director or casting agent about the status of your audition. They live very busy lives.
- Though, you can request feedback on your audition. After the cast list is posted, you should submit a request within 1 week. You will typically receive feedback within 1 month, though this varies. You can get feedback on your strengths, weaknesses, and ways to improve.[16]
- Remember, there will always be more auditions. If at first you don't succeed, keep trying until you do.
- Stay calm before and during your audition. Try to channel your excitement into your performance to make it vibrant and exciting for the panel or audience. But of course, be yourself!
- Don't compare yourself to others. Worrying about how other people performed will only make you doubt yourself. Just remember that if you put a lot of effort into your preparations, you should be confident in your abilities.
- Bring extra water and some snacks. Auditions can take all day.
- Speak clearly and confidently. Be sure to smile!
- Do not trash talk other performers who are at the audition. Not only will the directors find out, this will result in others not wanting to work with you, which damages your reputation and prevents you from enjoying future opportunities.
- Do not attempt to use bribes to get a part. It doesn't work and can ruin your reputation, as well as undermine your value and talent as a performer.
EditRelated wikiHows EditSources and Citations
Cite error: <ref> tags exist, but no <references/> tag was found
|
| How to Stand Out Posted: 29 Aug 2018 01:00 AM PDT When there are lots of other people around, standing out can be a challenge. However, standing out may help you to advance yourself academically, professionally, and personally. There are several strategies you can use to help yourself stand out using your strengths, your interpersonal skills, and your appearance. EditStanding Out at Work - Identify your strengths. Knowing who you are and what you excel at can help you to use those strengths to your benefit. Take some time to think about what you are best at and write down these strengths. This will make it easier for you to identify opportunities that will allow you to shine.[1]
- You can identify your strengths by reflecting on what other people have complimented you on and what activities are the most satisfying for you.[2]
- For example, if you are a good public speaker, watch for opportunities to use this skill on the job. Try volunteering to make an announcement or give a presentation.
- Volunteer for a special project. You can also stand out by pushing yourself to do something that is out of your comfort zone. Watch for opportunities to take the initiative at work, such as volunteering to head up a special project or other team effort.[3]
- For example, if your boss is looking for someone to head up a new sales campaign, volunteer to be the team leader. This will show your boss that you take the initiative.
- Prepare for work as much as possible. As you take on new responsibilities and manage your old ones, make sure that you prepare yourself to do your best. Research, plan ahead, and find other ways to prepare yourself to do the best job you can.[4]
- For example, if you have volunteered to head up a new sales campaign, learn as much as you can about the product and brainstorm some options for increasing sales.
- If you are supposed to give a presentation at work, then prepare detailed notes and practice your presentation as many times as possible.
- Approach work problems creatively. You don't need to stick to a formula for everything you do at work. Whether you are taking on a new or old task, consider new ways to approach the problem. A new strategy may yield great results and this may be just what you need to stand out at work.[5]
- If you have volunteered for a special project at work, consider what has already been done and what hasn't been done. It's okay to implement some tried and true methods, but you can also implement some new strategies to see if they get you better results.
- For example, to develop ideas for a sales campaign, you could use some standard sales techniques and also invite your coworkers to try out new sales techniques that you have researched.
- Provide honest answers about yourself when interviewing. As much as it may be tempting to embellish your abilities, it is best to be honest as you step up to take on new responsibilities, such as for a promotion or a job at a new company. Be yourself and be honest about what you do and do not know how to do, but make sure to stand up for yourself in the process.[6]
- For example, if you don't have the best sales record, then you could tell your boss something like, "I'm not the leader when it comes to sales, but I get along well with everyone and I work hard, so I think I would make a great team leader for this new campaign."
- Or, if you are applying for a job that you are slightly underqualified for, then you could say something like, "Although I have a degree in business rather than finance, I have worked in finance for the past 3 years."
- Speak up in meetings. Work meetings can be intimidating, but it is important to speak up in these meetings if you want to stand out from your coworkers. Your boss won't know about all the great ideas you have unless you take ownership of them. Speak up when you have a relevant idea about something that comes up during the meeting.[7]
- For example, if you are at work, and your boss has just asked for ideas to help solve a problem, you could offer a solution or expand on a solution that someone else has suggested.
EditSetting Yourself Apart at School - Do all of the assignments for your classes. One of the main ways to set yourself apart at school is to work hard and earn the best grades you can. This will get the attention of your teachers, your peers, and your parents. To ensure that you earn the best possible grades, do all of the homework, projects, and other assignments for all of your classes.[8]
- Set aside a designated time to work on your homework in the evenings, such as from 4pm to 6pm or from 7pm to 9pm.
- Ask your family members and friends not to disturb you during this time. Let them know that this is your homework time and you will be available before and after, but not during this time slot.
- Get involved in extracurricular activities. Extracurricular activities can also help you to stand out by giving you a chance to hone a skill and show off your talents. Most schools have a variety of extracurricular activities for students. You can get involved in sports if you are athletic, join the school band if you play (or want to learn) an instrument, or get involved in school theater productions.[9]
- Participating in extracurricular activities looks great on college and job applications.
- Getting involved in extracurricular activities is also a great way to connect with new people and to discover interests and skills you didn't even know you had.
- Talk with your teachers after class. Developing a relationship with your teachers can help you to stand out as well. Talking with your teachers will give you a chance to show them that you are interested in their class and to get to know you a bit better. It is also important for your success in school to talk to your teachers whenever you have a question or need help.[10]
- Try saying something like, "I really enjoyed today's lesson. Can you recommend a book that will tell me more about this subject?"
- Or you could ask about an assignment, such as by saying, "What types of sources do you recommend for the final paper?"
- Raise your hand and speak up. Speaking up in class when your teacher asks a question is another great way to stand out in school. Your teachers will also appreciate your participation. You don't have to offer an answer to every question your teachers ask, but if you think you know the answer to a question, raise your hand. Even if the answer is not the right one, your teacher will notice that you tried and they will most likely appreciate your effort.[11]
- For example, if your math teacher puts a problem up on the board and you think you know the answer, raise your hand!
- Talk with a school counselor for more help. If you feel isolated or invisible at school, then it is important to talk to someone who can help. Most schools have a school counselor on hand who you can meet with and speak confidentially about your concerns. They may be able to help you find ways to feel better or direct you to someone outside of school who can help, such as a therapist.
- Keep in mind that if you tell any school employee that you are thinking about harming yourself or others, they will have to report this.
EditGetting Noticed in Social Situations - Make a great first impression. You only get one chance to make a first impression and it is important to make it count! When you are meeting someone new, make sure that you do everything you can to make a great first impression. This will help you to stand out.[12]
- For example, if you are meeting someone for a first date, make sure that you have practiced your entrance, introduction, and anything else that might come up in the first few minutes of meeting the person.
- Try telling a joke, wearing a flashy new outfit, or picking an interesting place to meet the person.
- Be a good listener. Listening can also help you to stand out since not everyone possesses this important skill. Develop your listening skills and practice them whenever you get a chance.[13]
- For example, you can practice good listening skills when your teacher is explaining the daily homework, when your best friend tells you about their day, or when your boss is describing a special project.
- To be a good listener, make eye contact and nod to show you are paying attention, rephrase what the person says to show them that you understood them, and ask questions to show your interest in what they are saying.
- Show kindness to everyone. Kindness is not a trait everyone possesses either, so showing kindness to everyone can also help you to stand out. Be nice to everyone you meet or interact with even if you have nothing to gain by being nice to them.[14]
- For example, if there is a new student in your class, invite them to have lunch with you. If your office has just hired an intern for the summer, then let them know you are available if they have any questions.
- Keep your positions on important issues at the forefront of your mind. While you may not always want to voice an opinion on divisive issues, staying focused on your opinion while listening to other people can help you to stay true to yourself. By maintaining your stance, you may also avoid giving in to requests and ideas that you are against.[15]
- For example, if you have a strong opinion on who should win the next presidential election, then you might keep this idea in mind any time you are involved in a conversation where people are discussing the election. If an opportunity arises for you to chime in, then you might simply state your position, even if you are in the minority.
- Keep in mind that voicing an unpopular opinion may cause people to ridicule you and this can be upsetting. If that seems likely, then you may want to keep your ideas to yourself for the moment and wait until you can talk about them with someone who will be more understanding.
- Take pride in your appearance. Looking your best can also help you to feel your best, and this may help you to stand out. Take time each day to shower, put on clothes that make you feel good, and style your hair.[16]
- Try buying yourself a new outfit or getting a new haircut to help you look and feel your best.
- The goal of looking your best is to help you feel more confident, but if you lack confidence then you might want to work on that first.
- As you strive to look your best, avoid trying to look like other people. Decide what types of clothing, shoes, and accessories you like to wear and be proud of your individuality.[17]
- Stand tall. Good posture can go a long way towards boosting your confidence, which may also help you to stand out. Remind yourself throughout the day to stand up straight with your chin up and shoulders back.[18]
- Try setting a reminder to stand up straight on your phone so that you can keep your posture in check throughout the day.
- Make eye contact. Looking people in the eye will help to show that you are confident, which may also help you to stand out. When you meet someone new or when you are having a conversation with someone, make sure to look them in the eye.[19]
- Keep your gaze natural and avoid staring. It's okay to blink and look away now and then.
- Smile. Smiling at people will show them that you are friendly and approachable, which can also help you to stand out. Smile at your friends, coworkers, classmates, and any new people you meet.[20]
- Smile however you normally would and don't try to exaggerate it or fake a smile.
EditSources and Citations EditQuick Summary
Cite error: <ref> tags exist, but no <references/> tag was found
|
No comments:
Post a Comment