| How to Raise an Emotionally Healthy Child Posted: 15 Aug 2018 05:00 PM PDT Emotional health is a trickier topic than sniffles and skinned knees. If you have a toddler, teach them what emotions are, how to manage their feelings, and how to empathize with others. As your child matures, encourage them to share their feelings with you, and be a good role model by keeping your own emotions in check. While you need to ensure they're safe, independence is a key aspect of emotional health. It might be tough to hold back, but letting your child do things on their own can help them become a confident, well-adjusted adult. EditTeaching Your Kids about Emotions - Label emotions for your toddler or preschooler. When your child first starts learning to talk, start teaching them basic emotions, such as happy, sad, angry, and afraid. Children's books, drawings of smiley or sad faces, and making exaggerated facial expressions are great ways to teach your kids how to recognize emotions.[1]
- For instance, point at a drawing and say, "Kitty won a prize and is happy," or ask, "What do you think this face means?"
- Songs and games such as "When you're happy and you know it, clap your hands" can help them connect actions with emotions.
- In addition to helping them recognize others' emotions, ask your child how they might help a sad or angry character. Ask, for example, "Kitty took doggie's toys, and doggie is sad. How can we help doggie feel better?"
- Acknowledge your child's feelings when they're upset. Young children throw tantrums when they experience an overwhelming emotion that they can't express in words. Instead of just telling your child to be quiet when they're upset, help them use their words. Let them know that you want to help, but remind them that you can only understand them if they use their nice voice.[2]
- If you child is crying because they want a toy, say, "I know you're sad because you want the toy, and I want to help. Maybe if you use your nice voice we can find a fun game to play."
- Help them learn how to cope with their emotions. Provide your younger child with coping tools, and continue to reinforce these tools as they mature. Ways of coping with emotions such as anger or sadness include taking deep breaths, counting to 10, and drawing a picture of their frustration.[3]
- Tell your child, "Everyone gets upset, but it's never okay to hurt someone or break something. Instead of yelling or hitting, we can take deep breaths to relax, sing a song, or draw a picture of why we're sad."
- Encourage your kids to talk about their feelings. To lay a foundation when they're young, ask your child how they feel in various situations. Discuss their day at preschool or dance class, and ask questions such as, "How did you feel when Sally took your toy?" As they grow up, remind them throughout their middle school and adolescent years that they can always come to you to vent or ask for advice.[4]
- No matter their age, remember to always give your child your undivided attention during conversations. Don't play on your phone or answer emails when they're telling you about their feelings.
- Sometimes, you might need to resist the urge to scold or lecture. For example, suppose your child has a bad attitude during dinner. Instead of scolding them for being fresh, try asking why they're upset. Comfort them, if necessary, and stress that it's better to talk about feelings instead of holding them in and making a scene.[5]
- Set a good example by regulating your own emotions. Children of all ages look up to their parents, so model self-control for your kids. Avoid blowing your top, slamming doors, throwing things, and other hostile behavior. If you and your spouse or co-parent have a disagreement in front of your kids, stay calm and resolve it in private instead of screaming and hurling insults.[6]
- Regulating your emotions doesn't mean you should act like a robot in front of your kids. It's good to express emotions in front of them, whether you're elated or upset.
- However, you should demonstrate self-control in the moment, such as by by taking deep breaths or counting to 10. In the long-term, you can blow off steam by exercising, listening to music, or writing.
- Teach them about accountability and empathy when they hurt others. If your child misbehaves, seize the opportunity to teach them how to make amends. It's especially important to teach younger children how to empathize with others. If you have a toddler or preschooler, help them understand how their actions affect others' emotions.[7]
- If your child steals a toy, explain that their actions have consequences and they need to say that they're sorry. Ask, "How would you feel if someone took your toy? Wouldn't you be sad? That's how you made Sam feel."
- When one child hurts another, make sure to give lots of affection to the one who was hurt. Say, "Oh I'm so sorry that Sally took your toy! That wasn't very nice, and I know it makes you very sad." Modeling empathy can help the other child understand that they shouldn't hurt others.
EditBalancing Boundaries and Freedom - Help your child learn how to perform tasks to build their confidence. Self-confidence is the foundation of resilience, which is the ability to cope with life's challenges. Teaching your child how to do things by themselves and giving them independence helps boost their confidence. As early as possible, begin teaching them age-appropriate skills and chores.[8]
- For example, teach your preschooler how to tie their shoes and pick out their outfits, let your middle schooler help out in the kitchen, and teach your teen how to drive.
- Keep in mind this doesn't mean that you shouldn't supervise your child or put them in danger. For instance, if your kindergartner helps you in the kitchen, don't let them use a sharp object or touch the stove.
- Give your child age-appropriate rights and responsibilities. Your child needs an increasing amount of privacy, freedom, and independence as they mature. In addition to respecting their rights, assign chores to remind them that responsibilities also increase with age. To strike a balance between your rules and their freedom, work together to define their responsibilities.[9]
- Your teen, for example, has a right to ask you to knock before entering their room. Respect their boundaries, unless you suspect they're in danger or violating your trust.
- As the parent, you set the rules. However, you should allow your preteen or teen to have a say in how and when to complete tasks, such as doing homework, taking out the trash, or cleaning their room.
- Work with other co-parents to set fair, consistent rules. Make sure you and any other co-parents are on the same page when it comes to discipline. Children are more likely to respect rules that are predictable and consistent. When rules are inconsistent or unreasonable, kids are more likely to become angry and push back against authority.[10]
- For example, suppose you work at night and your spouse lets your child stay up hours past their bedtime watching inappropriate TV shows. Tell your spouse, "We need to get on the same page. If we don't enforce the same rules, our child isn't going to respect our authority."
- If you and your child's other parent aren't together, try to establish the same rules and consequences in both of your households.
- Limit your child's screen time. Phones, computers, and video games can cut into quality family time, schoolwork, sleep, and extracurricular activities. Additionally, cyber-bullying is widespread on social media, and advertisements, TV shows, and movies are packed with unrealistic beauty and lifestyle standards. Try to limit screen time to 2 hours per day or less, designate phone-free zones, and avoid keeping a computer or TV in your child's room.[11]
- Make it a rule that your child has to keep their phone in a common area overnight instead of taking it to bed. During family meals, set a no-phone rule.
- Be sure to follow your own screen time rules. Don't play on your phone during dinner, or text while your child is telling you about their day.
- Keep in mind strict screen time rules can make your child feel excluded at school. It might be helpful to talk to their teachers or friends' parents about general guidelines for cell phones and social media use.
- Deliver reasonable consequences related to a broken rule. Natural consequences, or the direct results of misbehavior, are great teaching tools. When rule-breaking doesn't lead to a natural consequence, come up with a punishment that's related to the behavior.[12]
- For example, if they ditched practice to hang out with friends, the natural consequence is that they get kicked off of the team.
- If your preschooler colors on the walls, make them clean it up, and take their crayons away for the rest of the day. If your teen stays out past their curfew, ground them for a weekend or set a curfew that's an hour earlier.
- Your aim should be to correct the behavior, not vent your frustrations. Screaming at them or issuing a harsh punishment that's not related to the broken rule aren't effective teaching tools.
EditBuilding a Strong Bond - Set aside time every day for quality conversations. Good times to talk might be on way to school, during breakfast or dinner, or before bed. When you chat, ask your child specific questions about their day instead of general yes or no questions. While you don't want to come off as intrusive, open-ended questions can help convey your interest and spark the conversation.[13]
- For example, instead of asking, "Did you have a good day," ask, "What was the coolest thing you learned at school," or "What's something funny that happened today?"
- Your child will be more likely to confide in you if you regularly spend quality time together.
- If you think they're dealing with a problem, avoid pushing them to tell you. Instead of making demands, let them know they can trust you, and say, "I'm happy to listen or offer advice if you need it." They might feel more comfortable talking about difficult topics if you give them some space.
- Develop family rituals, such as shared meals and weekend outings. Family rituals and routines can solidify your bond and offer your child a sense of stability. Try to eat breakfast or dinner together daily, or as often as your schedules allow. On the weekends, you could go for bike rides or hikes, or go to ball games together.[14]
- Learn about your child's interests, and do things together related to those interests. If they love music, go to a concert together. If they're passionate about baseball, go to college or professional games whenever possible.
- Let your child pick the activities, within reason. They might be more likely get excited about spending quality time together when they're allowed to make decisions. Keep in mind that doesn't mean you need to break the bank to do a costly activity.[15]
- Help them find an outlet if they don't want to confide in you. You might have a strong bond, but it's not always easy to share things with a parent. If you know something's on their mind and they won't open up, encourage them to spend time with a trusted loved one. For instance, they might have an easier time confiding in an aunt, uncle, grandparent, or close family friend.[16]
- Don't take it personally if your child doesn't want to open up to you. Whether they're getting bullied or having trouble with their grades, some subjects are tough to discuss with parents. They're better off talking to someone else than bottling up their feelings.
- If they open up to a trusted loved one, it's best to respect their privacy. If they're not in danger or breaking the law, respecting their boundaries is the healthiest option.
- Keep up with your kid's clique. Getting to know their friends (and their friends' parents) can help you stay involved in their life.
- Do your best to avoid fighting with your spouse in front of your child, especially if you're shouting angrily at each other. If you and your spouse have a disagreement, settle it in private or ask your child to go play in another room.
- Letting go is tough, but allowing your child to do things on their own is essential, even if they make mistakes. It helps build confidence, and gives them get a sense of what to do, what not to, and how to deal with obstacles.
- All children go through struggles. However, it might be best to call a mental health professional if you've noticed concerning signs, such as extreme shifts in behavior, loss of interests in normal activities, sudden weight changes, or trouble with the law.
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Fold a Shirt for Travel Posted: 15 Aug 2018 09:00 AM PDT There are many ways to fold a shirt, and when you are traveling, you may want to reduce wrinkles or save space. Try folding your shirts together to reduce wrinkles or rolling up your shirts to save space. You'll be ready for your vacation or business trip in no time! EditFolding Your Dress Shirts - Find a flat surface and lay out your dress shirt. Use a surface like a table, chair seat, or bed. Smooth out the back of your shirt, so there are no wrinkles.[1]
- Button up your shirt. You can button all of the buttons, or just do the top, bottom, and center button. Either choice will keep your shirts straight and cut down on wrinkles as you pack.[2]
- Grasp one of your sleeves and fold it towards the center of your shirt. Make sure your shirt is face down before you make this fold. Your fold line will be just before your shirt's collar, starting at the center of the shoulder. Your shirt should have about ⅓ of the front folded over top of the back.[3]
- You can start with either the left or right sleeve.
- Fold your other sleeve towards the center, just like the first one. Mirror your movements for the first sleeve. Fold the other sleeve towards the center so your fold is made near the shoulder.[4]
- Fold your sleeve forward, creating another fold. After your sleeve is positioned on the back of your shirt, pinch the top and the bottom of your sleeve. Fold your sleeve on top of the rest of your sleeve. Make this fold at an angle, forming a broad "V" shape with your fold.[5]
- Your sleeve's folds should meet right around the shirt's collar, laying flat at the seam.
- Do this for both the left and right sleeves.
- Hold the tail of your shirt with 2 hands and fold the shirt lengthwise. You can make 1 or 2 folds, based on the length of your shirt. For shorter shirts, make your fold from the bottom up, so the bottom edge rests below the collar. For longer shirts, make 2 folds from the bottom, so your folds are stacked on top of each other.[6]
- Flip over your folded shirt so it faces the front, and store in your bag. Repeat this for all of your dress shirts, and you'll be ready to travel.
EditAvoiding Wrinkles By Folding Shirts Together - Lay one of your shirts flat, with the back facing you. Use a flat surface, like a table. If you are using a dress shirt with buttons, you should button them up.[7]
- You can use both dress and T-shirts.
- Place your finger at the neckline of your shirt and fold your sleeves. This will form a straight line down the edge of your shirt. You can do this for either short-sleeved or long-sleeved shirts.[8]
- Move the left sleeve to the fold line you created. This will fold your sleeve on top of the back of your shirt.[9]
- If you are folding a short-sleeved shirt, your sleeve will fold onto the top third of your shirt.
- For longer sleeves, your sleeves will line the length of your shirt.
- Fold in your right sleeve like you folded the left, so it lays flat. Now both of your sleeves should be lying flat on top of the back of your shirt.[10]
- You can smooth out the surface of your shirt, so the shirt is perfectly flat and wrinkle-free.
- Place your second folded shirt on top of your first shirt. Place your shirt towards the bottom of your first shirt, though leave a 3-5 inches at the tail of your shirt.[11]
- Make sure you fold your second shirt before you fold it into the first shirt.
- Sandwich your second shirt in between both halves of your first shirt. Fold your first shirt around your second shirt. Your second shirt should now be in between the top and bottom half of your first shirt.[12]
- Flip your shirts over so they face the front. Now you can pack your shirts into your suitcase. This technique cuts down on wrinkles, so you won't have to worry about an iron while traveling.[13]
- It is helpful to still hang up or lay out your clothes after you reach your destination. Folding your shirts with this method will prevent wrinkles, but they can still form from the few folds you do make.
EditSaving Space by Rolling Your Clothes - Lay your shirt flat and face up. You want a flat surface so you can make tight, neat rolls.[14]
- Take the bottom of your shirt and fold it about up. This will create a "pocket" which you will tuck the body of your shirt into.[15]
- You can also roll your shirts without creating a fold from the bottom.
- Fold your shirt into thirds. Pinch your sleeve and shirt bottom, and fold it into the center. Do this for both the left and the right sleeve, dividing your shirt into thirds.[16]
- You can start with either the left or right sleeve, whichever you prefer.
- Fold your sleeves over the center of your shirt. This will tuck in your sleeves, and your shirt will look like one, thin rectangle.[17]
- Try to make these folds as flat and secure as possible, to help you roll up the shirt.
- Roll up your shirt neatly and tightly, starting at the collar. Hold the sides of your rectangle, fold the edge on top of the shirt, and roll the body of your shirt over top. Leave minimal space in between your rolls to keep them tight.[18]
- It is okay if you have to roll your shirt over again to make sure it is neat. You want your shirts to roll up into a small, compact bundle.
- Tuck the edge of your rolled shirt into your bottom fold. Roll your shirt up to the bottom, and place the bottom fold over top of your rolled up shirt, tucking it in. This will keep your shirt from unrolling as you pack.[19]
- You can also roll up your shirts without tucking them into the bottom of your shirt. The tuck helps keep the shirt securely rolled, but it is optional.
- Place all of your rolled shirts at the bottom of your suitcase. This will create an even, level base. Pack the rest of your clothes over top your rolled shirts.
- You can also roll up your other clothing, like your pants and sweaters.
- Try using the permanent press cycle when drying your clothes to avoid wrinkles.
- Starch and iron your shirts before you fold, to keep your shirts from wrinkling after you fold them.
EditSources and Citations
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