| How to Handle Valentine's Day in a New Relationship Posted: 13 Feb 2018 04:00 PM PST Valentine's Day for new couples may feel as awkward as a 10-ton gorilla doing ballet, given that your feelings for one another are very new and you're not sure where your relationship is headed. Whether you've been on only one date or have been seeing each other for a few weeks, the dreaded red-hearted holiday can make even the most confident dater feel insecure about how to approach the holiday. However, having a simple conversation about the holiday or picking a low-key gift or event can take the stress out of the day and turn it into something you enjoy. EditTalking About It and Making a Plan - Ignore it if it's too soon. If you've only been on a date or two, it's probably best to ignore Valentine's Day altogether. Jumping on a romantic holiday may push your potential date away, so it's probably a good idea to skip it for this year.[1]
- Ask yourself what you really want. Think about how long you've been in the relationship, and how much you realistically expect the other person to contribute. If you think dinner and a card is reasonable, get the other person a card and ask him or her out to dinner on or near the day.[2]
- Talk to your new crush. One way to alleviate the stress is to simply talk to your crush about it. You can suggest keeping it low-key since you're new to the relationship, as well as make a plan for a nice dinner or an outing if you'd like.[3]
 - For instance, you could say, "Our relationship is still pretty new. Why don't we keep Valentine's Day low-key? We could say no gifts, though cards are fine. Do you want to have a nice dinner together?"
- Ask the other person what they think of Valentine's Day. Some folks actually despise the holiday, referring to it as a "Hallmark" holiday. It might be a good idea to even take the other person's temperature about how they even feel about it before pursuing a date on the day. For example, you could say, "I know our relationship is still in the early stages, so I thought maybe we could talk about what we want to do for Valentine's Day. Are you a fan of the holiday, or do you prefer to ignore it?"
- Discuss the fact that you've only been dating a short time and that you're both now confronted with a highly romantic holiday. Be honest about how bizarre it is to begin a new relationship as other couples are declaring their love from the rooftops. Let the other person know that you get the fact that both of you may not be ready just yet for poems and love songs. As an example, you could say, "So, Valentine's Day is coming up. I don't really know how to treat it since we haven't been dating very long. What do you think we should do? I know we're probably not ready for poems or love songs, haha, but I thought I would bring it up."
- One option is agreeing to ignore Valentine's Day altogether if you're both happy with that option.
- Make a compromise. If you both want different things, try to make a compromise. For instance, if your new crush prefers something fancy, but you'd prefer to keep it low-key, maybe you could settle for a fancy home-cooked dinner. If you like to do it up big, but your crush seems uncomfortable with that, try to tone it down a bit. If your new crush is a someone who gets you, you should be able to find a reasonable compromise.
EditGetting a Gift or Card - Keep it simple. At this point in the game, you don't want to be too extravagant, as you can scare the other person off. A diamond necklace is over-the-top and too much if the relationship is still new. However, flowers or a nice box of candy may go over well.[4]
- Definitely keep it under $50 if you've only been dating a month or two.[5]
- Also, it's a good idea to skip any type of sexy or sexual gift (such as lingerie) this early in the relationship. You don't want to scare the person off.
- Try a cute card. You may not want to get too mushy at this point, but a little mushiness mixed with some humor is fine. For instance, you may not want to pick a card that says "I'll love you forever!" but a whimsical card that says "I think you're cute!" or "You make my heart go pitter-patter!" would work better.[6]
- Bake something. Another option is to bake your new crush a sweet treat. A batch of brownies or cookies is thoughtful, but you're not throwing a huge amount of money at the person.
- Gift your favorite book or movie. This gift is personal, as you're giving a bit of yourself to the other person. However, it's not so personal that you'll drive the other person away. It's sweet and thoughtful, but not over-the-top. Just be sure you know your crush's preferred method of reading books (digital or book form) or watching movies. As an added bonus, you could watch the movie together on Valentine's Day.[7]
- Don't forget to add a note in the cover if you give a book, including why you enjoy it. It can act as card and gift.
- Go with a classic. Flowers, candy, and wine are always good gifts, but try to do it with a bit of a twist. For instance, if you get flowers, consider getting a pretty potted plant that will continue to bloom or a small pot of succulents. If you know his or her favorite candy or wine, wrap it up in a pretty package.[8]
EditPicking an Event - Consider just getting drinks. A nice, no-pressure event for Valentine's Day could be going to have drinks. If alcohol isn't your thing, you could get coffee instead. That way, you don't have the pressure of creating a monumentally romantic evening.[9]
- Try cooking a nice meal. If you're far enough along in your relationship that you want more than just drinks, try cooking a meal for your lover. It's not as big an expenditure as a fancy restaurant, but it still shows you're thinking about the person.
- Go out around the holiday. If the relationship is still new, maybe you want to acknowledge the holiday somehow. However, with restaurants so busy on the day and lots of pressure about being in love, maybe it's best not to go out on the actual day. Instead, try going out the day before or after. That way, you still have a good time, but there's not as much pressure.
- Take a stroll through a park or have a picnic. Another low-key event is to go on a picnic in the park. That way, you don't have the pressure of going to a fancy restaurant, and you can just enjoy each other's company. Plus, you have the added bonus of swing sets if you are the playful type.
- Remember it's just one day. Valentine's Day is only special because the culture acknowledges it to be, but it's really just one day out of the year. Don't worry about it too much if your relationship is new. If it's meant to last, you'll have many Valentine's Days ahead to celebrate your love, though you can also celebrate it every day you spend together.[10]
- Don't read any further into gifts or gestures on Valentine's Day when you're a fresh couple. Instead of getting swept away with romance, focus on forming a bond of trust and friendship.
- If you can't come to an understanding or agreement about how you will both approach Valentine's Day, back away or take a break on that day to avoid a misunderstanding.
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| How to Decide on a Career Path Posted: 13 Feb 2018 08:00 AM PST Whether you're finishing up your education and are ready to venture into the real world or have been working in a certain field for a while and want to try something new, deciding on a career path can seem overwhelming. However, with a little self-exploration and some research, you can easily choose a career that will leave you feeling fulfilled. EditShort Summary To decide on a career path, start by making a list of all your skills, interests, and aspirations. Then, choose a broad field to work in based on your strengths and goals. Research various jobs within the field, then match your personal qualities with the day-to-day responsibilities of several jobs to narrow down the possibilities. For help determining what you like and transforming that into a real-world job, read on! EditEvaluating Your Skills and Interests - Make a list of all your skills and strengths. Take some time to really think through the things you are good at. Consider things like physical skills, practical tasks, and creative work. Perhaps you are a great artist, a whiz with numbers, an excellent salesperson, or an all-star soccer player. Alternatively, you might have a thorough knowledge of historical events, manage your time efficiently, have strong spacial reasoning skills, be a great public speaker, or have a natural knack for technology. List every skill and strength you can think of.[1]
- Explore your interests and passions. Now, think of what you enjoy doing, which may not be the same things that you are good at, and add them to the list. For instance, you might enjoy spending time in nature, attending parties, studying other cultures, putting together model planes, hosting fundraisers, or traveling around the world. Or, you might like to read, listen to music, swim, conduct science experiments, play with animals, cook or bake, ride a motorcycle, volunteer, make craft projects, clean, go fishing, or create sculptures.[2]
- Figure out what you'd like to be known for when you retire. Look ahead to the future and think about what you'd like your life's work to be. It's okay if you don't know right away; spend some time thinking it over. Perhaps you want to build an empire, make a difference in children's lives, create a new piece of technology, develop sustainable living practices, or bring joy to the elderly. Determining what you want to be known for will help you determine what career path to take.[3]
- Focus on your own aspirations, rather than societal expectations. It's common to feel pressure from your family members, friends, teachers, and society to follow a certain path. And while doing so might make them happy, it probably won't make you happy. Let go of other people's expectations of you and think about what you truly want to do. Choosing a career path should be a personal decision based on a thorough knowledge of your own strengths, weaknesses, interests, and values.[4]
- For instance, if your father expects you to take over the family litigation firm, but you'd rather be a teacher than a lawyer, follow your heart. Though he may be upset at first, seeing you do something you love will help him see that a career in litigation wasn't the right choice for you.
- Take a career aptitude test. There are dozens of career aptitude tests online that ask a series of questions formulated to find out what kind of work would suit you the best. These tests analyze your strengths, weaknesses, interests, and personality to help you narrow down your career choice. Do an Internet search for "career aptitude tests" and take several so you can compare the results.
EditNarrowing Your Options - Think of fields of work broadly. A field of work is far more than a single job—it is an area in which many jobs or trades are possible! Once you have an idea of what field you want to work in, consider all the options within that field. For instance, if you want to work in healthcare, you could be a nurse or a doctor, of course, but you could also schedule appointments for patients, work in medical billing, or manage a physician's office.
- Or, if you study law, you may want to be a lawyer for a large law firm or a non-profit organization, or even write corporate compliance manuals.
- Research the responsibilities of several jobs within the field. While certain jobs may sound amazing in theory, it's important to know exactly what you're getting yourself into. Find out the day-to-day responsibilities for several jobs within the field to help you narrow down your options. Go to the National Career Service website to peruse job profiles for more than 800 positions. Think about whether you can picture yourself completing the tasks happily or if the work seem overwhelming or misaligned with your vision of a new career.[5]
- For instance, you may absolutely love animals, but if you're squeamish about blood or needles, becoming a veterinary technician may not be right for you. However, a dog walker or pet groomer may be a better fit.
- Match your personal strengths and qualities with potential jobs. It's important to choose a career that fits with your temperament and personality. Think about whether you enjoy interacting with other people and if you work better alone or in a group setting. Also, consider if you are a great leader or take direction well, and whether you enjoy planning things or like to go with the flow. You should also think how well you manage time, if you are detail-oriented or focus on the big picture, and if you enjoy coming up with new ideas.[6]
- For instance, if you want to work with technology but don't enjoy being around other people or interacting with strangers, you could choose to work in development rather than marketing.
- Consider non-conventional or cross-field work. Many skill sets translate to multiple fields or opportunities. Consider whether your education or experience will allow you to work in a related field. For instance, many teachers have a thorough understanding of the English language, and therefore make excellent editors and publishers.[7]
- Alternatively, if you're super athletic and love sports, perhaps you would do well as a coach, a manager, or an announcer.
- Sign up for an internship or apprenticeship to see if it's a good fit. One of the best ways to find out if a job is right for you is to actually work it! By signing up for an internship or apprenticeship, you'll get to see what the day-to-day experience in a certain field is like. You'll also make connections and meet other people in the industry. Do an online search to find internships or apprenticeships in the field you want to work in.[8]
- Try to avoid making a decision based on the money you'll make. Although you'll want to have a financially secure future, the expected income shouldn't be the only determining factor in your decision. Feel free to research potential incomes for a variety of jobs, but aim to to choose one that you feel is the best fit for you, rather than simply picking the one where you'll make the most money. This will lead to you a fulfilling career.
EditTaking the Next Steps - Figure out what qualifications you'll need for the field you've chosen. Speak to people that work in the industry to find out what kinds of backgrounds they have. You can also research minimum requirements for the kinds of jobs you hope to have. Once you know what is required, you can then work on becoming qualified for your new career.[9]
- For instance, if you want to work as a registered nurse, you'll need to take classes, complete clinicals, and pass the NCLEX-RN exam.
- Continue your education, if necessary. Many positions may require a specific certification, license, or degree. If your heart is set on a certain job, but you don't meet the requirements, take steps to become qualified. Do an online search for classes near you that will help you meet these goals. You can even work part-time while continuing your education in the evenings, if necessary.[10]
- Apply for jobs you think would be a good fit. Once you begin finding jobs that interest you, apply for each position and submit a resume that details your education, experience, and relevant skills. Include a tailored cover letter with each application that explains why you're interested in the position and how you will add something to the team or company. Make sure all your documents are neat, clean, and free from errors.
- Ensure any prospective company's values align with your own. A career will be most fulfilling if the company's values mirror your own. Think about what types of things are really important to you, and what types of things you'd be willing to compromise on. You may want to work with a company that is devoted to living a sustainable lifestyle, developing quality products, or helping people in need.[11]
- For instance, if you're a strict vegan because you believe eating meat is cruel, it would be better to take a job as an accountant for a clothing company than a butcher shop.
- Go through a university course catalog of a school your respect. Circle all items that interest you. Categorize your choices and see if there is a trend towards an education path that resembles your interests.
- When searching for your job in the field of your choice, always be sure to find out as much as possible about your potential bosses to make sure you will be happy to work with them. An interview is a 2-way process.
- Joining a professional association in the field that interests you will give you great opportunities to network by joining in online discussions, attending in-person meetings, or reading the organization's newsletter or journal.
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| How to Prune a Bonsai Tree Posted: 13 Feb 2018 12:00 AM PST A bonsai tree needs regular pruning to maintain its size and to shape it to a desired style. There are 2 types of pruning: maintenance pruning, which keeps the tree small and encourages new growth, and structural or stylistic pruning, which shapes the tree and enhances its aesthetic. Whether you want to prune your bonsai tree for maintenance or style, and no matter what type of bonsai tree you have, you need only a critical eye and bonsai branch or knob cutters to get started. EditPruning for Maintenance - Remove all the weeds and dead wood or leaves. Look for weeds growing in the bonsai pot as well as dead twigs or leaves on the tree itself. Carefully pluck out the weeds, making sure not to damage the roots of the bonsai. Pick dead twigs or leaves off of the tree and discard them.[1]
- Trim crossed and broken branches. Crossed branches rub on each other and leave wounds that may allow pests or diseases into the wood. Broken branches or twigs should be removed to allow the tree to direct its energy toward new growth. Use bonsai branch cutters to cut crossed and broken branches off just above the point where they extend out from the trunk of the tree.[2]
- Cut back twigs so they only have 3-4 nodes. The nodes are the joints that leaves grow out of. Once a twig has 6-8 nodes, cut them down so only 3-4 nodes remain. Make a clean cut just above the remaining nodes with branch or knob cutters. This keeps the tree from growing too big and also encourages new growth.[3]
- Prune heavily in the spring and summer. Though bonsai trees can be pruned year-round, most of the pruning should be done when the tree is actively growing through the spring and summer. Depending on your location, this may be from March to September.[4]
EditDoing Structural and Stylistic Pruning - Prune for structure and style from November to February. To ensure you don't damage the tree too much or stunt its growth, you should only prune for structure and style while the tree is dormant. Typically, this is during the winter months of November to February.[5]
- Cut back large branches. Large branches that protrude from the tree can be removed, as can branches with unnatural twists or turns or those that look displeasing to the eye. Cut each branch just above a node in a place that helps to balance the look of the tree. Use branch cutters to make a clean cut.[6]
- Thin out the crown and canopy. To allow light to filter through the canopy and reach the lower branches, as well as to shape the canopy to the desired size, trim back the branches or twigs on the top of the tree. Use branch cutters to trim down overgrown branches and shoots so the canopy is rounded and balanced.[7]
- Remove suckers from the tree. Suckers are small offshoots that can grow on the base of the trunk or on branches of the tree. These can be plucked off with your fingers to help maintain the balance and aesthetics of the tree. Remove any suckers that you think detract from the overall appeal of the bonsai.[8]
- Twist off the buds from conifer trees. To create a more compact shape, use your fingers to pinch out whole needles from areas that are too large or overgrown. Twist the needles to remove them from the twigs. Leave 3 needles on each branch, but feel free to remove the rest. This will encourage more branching on the tree.[9]
- Defoliate deciduous trees after new growth has settled in. Defoliation gets rid of old, long leaves and encourages the growth of smaller, more aesthetically-pleasing leaves. Cut away each leaf at the base, leaving the stalk alone. New smaller leaves will grow in their place. This is a risky technique, as defoliating done during the wrong time of year may mean the tree might not never recover.[10]
EditCaring for Your Bonsai after Pruning - Cover the cuts with wound paste. To prevent too much sap from leaking out and to help the cuts heal, apply bonsai wound paste to the bruises. Squeeze a small amount of the cream onto a gloved finger and smear a light layer over each cut.[11]
- You can find bonsai wound paste at gardening centers and online.
- Water the bonsai immediately after pruning. It's important to water the bonsai deeply after pruning to encourage new growth. Make sure to fully saturate the soil the first time you water the tree after pruning.[12]
- Water the tree lightly once per day. You should only water deeply immediately after pruning. Then, water the tree lightly each day. Aim to keep the soil moist, but not soggy. Oversaturating the soil could lead to root rot, so take care not to water the tree too much.[13]
- Apply a 7-7-7 fertilizer every 2 weeks while the tree is actively growing. Choose a fertilizer made specifically for bonsai trees, such as a 7-7-7 fertilizer. Use liquid fertilizer for small bonsais, and granular fertilizer for large bonsais. Dilute the fertilizer to half strength, or use half as much as directed on the package.[14]
- Using pruning tools designed specifically for bonsai trees — like concave cutters and Japanese-style saws — will make pruning your bonsai easier.
- Do small-scale pruning by hand if possible.
- Sanitize your pruning tools before and after use to prevent diseases and pests from spreading.
- Inspect your bonsai for disease and pests while you're pruning. If you notice an infested branch, prune it and dispose of it.
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