How to Control Your Temper Posted: 06 Aug 2016 05:00 PM PDT If you have difficulty with anger problems, you may find that you have a short temper. Having a temper, or losing your patience and expressing your anger ineffectively, can strain your personal and work relationships. Finding ways to control your temper and reduce outbursts of anger may improve the quality of your life and your interpersonal relationships. EditRecognizing the Onset of Anger - Think of anger as physiological as well as psychological. When you experience anger, your body undergoes a chemical process that activates your biological "fight or flight" response. For many people, a short temper results in a "fight" response due to a chemical and hormonal response in the brain. [1]
- Monitor your body for physical reaction. Many people show signs of anger in their bodies, even before they realize that they are feeling anger. You may be heading towards an outburst of anger if you are experiencing any of the following symptoms: [2]
- Tense muscles and clenched jaw
- Headache or stomachache
- Increased heart rate
- Sudden sweating or shaking
- A dizzy feeling
- Watch for emotional signs. In addition to physical reaction to anger, you will likely begin to experience emotional symptoms before losing your temper. [3] Some emotions that often flare up alongside anger are:
- Irritation
- Sadness or depression
- Guilt
- Resentment
- Anxiety
- Defensiveness
- Be aware of your triggers. Monitoring your outbursts of temper or thinking about what usually sets you off can help you identify your temper triggers.[4] A trigger is something that happens that makes you have an automatic reaction. Triggers are usually tied to past emotions or memories (even if you aren't consciously aware of them). Some common triggers for anger include: [5]
- Feeling out of control of your own life, another person's actions, or your environment or situation
- Believing that someone is trying to manipulate you
- Getting mad at yourself for making a mistake
- Avoid known triggers. If you are aware of specific circumstances that are likely to trigger your temper, do your best to avoid them. [6] You may particularly need to focus on avoidance if you have other factors that may contribute to a shorter temper such as a lack of sleep, another emotionally-straining event, or increased life or job stress.
- For example, if getting yelled at by your boss is a trigger for your anger, you could avoid the trigger by removing yourself from the situation or asking for a moment to yourself.[7] You can also ask your boss to speak to you more calmly in the future.
- Reframe your triggers. If you are aware of the emotion or memory that is tied to one of your triggers, try to restructure the memory to lessen the effect of the trigger. [8]
- For example, you may know that your boss yelling at you is a trigger because you were verbally abused as a child, try disassociating the two kinds of yelling. Convincing yourself that your childhood yelling was different because it only happened in a living room may help you separate it from yelling that you experience in the workplace.
- Feel when your response is escalating. If you feel that the symptoms of your anger are escalating, and you seem to be moving from mildly irritated to really angry, remove yourself from the situation if at all possible. If you can remove yourself to be alone, you can use strategies to reduce or redirect your feelings of anger and avoid an outburst. [9]
EditAvoiding an Outburst - Use progressive muscle relaxation. Progressive muscle relaxation involves tensing and releasing your body in progressive stages. Consciously tensing your own muscles can help you redirect the outlet of the anger you're feeling. [10] To practice progressive muscle relaxation, take a few deep breaths, then do the following: [11]
- Begin with your face and head muscles. Hold the tension for 20 seconds, then release it.
- Work your way down your body, tensing and releasing your shoulders, arms, back, hands, stomach, legs, feet, and toes.
- Take deep breaths, feeling relaxation from your toes all the way up to your head.
- Delay responding. If you know that you have become angry and feel that you are about to lose your temper, give yourself the gift of time. Remind yourself that you do not have to respond or react immediately. Leave the situation, think about a reasoned response, then react later, when the anger has subsided. [12]
- If you cannot physically leave, you can still give yourself a delay by stopping to count to 10 (or 20, or 50, or 100) before you respond.
- Change your scenery. If you begin to lose your temper, change to a new location. If you are inside, go outside for a walk if possible. The combination of leaving the person or situation causing your anger and "shocking" your senses with an entirely new environment can help you regain control. [13]
- Find humor in the situation. Because anger is, in part, a chemical reaction, if you can change the chemicals in your body, you can circumvent a temper outbreak. Trying to find humor in a situation, or getting yourself laughing about something else, will diffuse the situation by changing your body's chemical reaction. [14]
- For example, if you find that your children have dumped a bag of flour over your entire kitchen, your initial reaction may be anger. However, if you stop and try to look at the situation objectively (perhaps pretending that it is someone else's kitchen!), you may be able to laugh about it instead. Having a good laugh and then rallying the troops to help you clean up the mess can turn a negative situation into a funny memory.
- Take a meditation break. Meditation can help you regulate your emotions. [15] Therefore, if you are feeling as though you are going to lose control of your temper, give yourself a little mental vacation through meditation. Remove yourself from the situation causing the anger: go outside, to a stairwell, or even to the bathroom. [16]
- Take slow, deep breaths. Maintaining this breathing will likely bring down your elevated heart rate. Your breaths should be deep enough that your belly extends on the "in" breath.
- Visualize a golden-white light filling your body as you breathe in, relaxing your mind. When you breathe out, visualize muddy or dark colors leaving your body.
- Once you are calm from your meditation, think about your emotions and decide how to deal with the situation that angered you.
EditDealing with Underlying Issues - Get plenty of exercise and sleep. Tempers can be heightened (and fuses shorter) if you are lacking sleep or exercise. Sleep can help you regulate your emotions effectively.[17] Exercising when you feel angry can help you redirect your anger. Maintaining regular exercise can help you with mood regulation and controlling your emotions. [18] [19]
- Try cognitive restructuring. Cognitive restructuring helps you replace automatic negative thoughts with more functional or appropriate ways of thinking. [20] Anger may distort your thoughts, but learning to apply reason to your thoughts can make them clear again and can help you avoid losing your temper. [21]
- For example, you may get a flat tire on your way to work. Your automatic negative thinking caused by anger may lead you to think "My whole day is ruined! I am going to get in trouble at work! Why does this kind of thing always happen to me?!"
- If you restructure your thinking to take a reasoned look at your comments, you may realize that one setback does not automatically ruin your whole day, that your workplace may understand that things like that happen, and that it's unlikely that this "always" happens to you (unless you get a flat tire daily, in which case you may want to reevaluate your driving).
- It also may help to realize that anger at the situation will not help any; in fact, it could hurt by making it more difficult to focus on finding a solution (such as changing the tire).
- Participate in an anger management program. Anger management programs have been proven to be highly successful. [22] Effective programs help you understand anger, develop short-term strategies to deal with anger, and build your emotional control skills. There are many options available for finding a program that is right for you. [23]
- Individual programs are available for teens, police officers, executives, and other groups of the population that may experience anger for different reasons.
- To find an anger management program that is right for you, try searching online for "anger management class" plus the name of your city, state, or region. You can also include search terms like "for teens" or "for PTSD" to find a group tailored to your specific situation.
- You can also look for appropriate programs by asking your physician or therapist, or consulting the self-improvement course offerings at your local community center.
- Seek therapy. Ultimately, the best way to control your temper is to identify and treat the root of your anger problems. The best way to do this is in a therapist's office. A therapist can give you relaxation techniques to use in situations that make you feel angry. She can help you develop emotional coping skills and communication training. [24] Additionally, a psychoanalyst who specializes in helping resolve problems from someone's past (such as neglect or abuse from childhood) can help mitigate anger tied to past events. [25]
- You can search for a therapist specializing in anger management in North America here and in the United Kingdom here.
- When you are angry, your heart beats faster, you feel uneasy and you want to express it somehow. Stay calm and take deep breaths, close your eyes for a while and you will find that the situation is under your control and slowly you will master your anger.
- Find ways to distract yourself.
- Breath in through the nose out through the mouth. It calms in any situation.
- Give yourself time to change. If you have chronic temper problems, it may take some time to master controlling your emotions.
- Just stop thinking about what is making you angry, take a deep breath and calm down.
- If you anticipate a situation where you are likely to become angry or frustrated, such as at your job, try rehearsing the scene in your mind ahead of time. Have a "pre-scripted" response to potential triggers.
- Punch and/or scream into a pillow while you are alone. Give it a time limit. This helps to let off steam so you don't take your anger out on someone else.
- Try writing down the things that make you angry. Writing them down may help you to control your temper and avoid a violent reaction.
- Go to the gym. Working out (safely) will take out the adrenaline that comes with anger.
- If you are angry in a classroom ask the teacher if you can walk out for a moment.
- Talk about your problems to someone who cares about you and is not personally related to your situation. This could be a parent, a friend, a therapist, or an online friend. Be sure it's someone you trust and who you would feel very comfortable talking with.
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How to Say How Are You in Spanish Posted: 06 Aug 2016 09:00 AM PDT The standard, most basic way of asking "How are you?" in Spanish is "¿Cómo estás?" There are several other ways to ask the question, however, as well as multiple ways to respond. Here are some of the most common translations you should know. EditPrintable Cheat Sheet EditMethod One: Basic Question - Politely ask "¿Cómo está usted?" This question translates literally into "How are you?"
- Cómo means "how."
- Está is the third person singular conjugation of the verb "estar," meaning "to be" in a temporary sense. Note that you would not use the "to be" verb "ser," since "ser" implies a permanent condition.
- Usted is a third person singular noun meaning "you." It is considered a formal way of addressing someone, so you should use it with anyone you do not know well. You could also drop usted from this question and the statement will still mean the same thing.
- Pronounce this question as koh-moh ehs-tah oos-tehd.
- Ask a friend "¿Cómo estás?" This question also translates directly into "How are you?"
- Estás is the second person singular conjugation of estar, and it is used with the "you" pronoun "tú." This conjugation should only be used for someone that you are on familiar terms with, like a relative or friend.
- The pronunciation of this question would be koh-moh ehs-tahs.
EditMethod Two: Other Ways of Asking - Say "¿Cómo te va?" Translated literally, this question asks, "How are you going?"
- The question can be interpreted as either "How are you doing?" or "How's it going?"
- Te is a direct object pronoun meaning "you" in the informal singular sense.[1]
- Va is a conjugated form of the verb "ir," meaning "to go."
- A general pronunciation of this question is koh-moh tay vah.
- Ask how someone feels with "¿Cómo se siente?"[2] This question literally means "How do you feel?" or "How are you feeling?"
- Se is a direct object pronoun. It can be used for the third person "him" or "her," or it can be used for the polite form of "you."
- Siente is the third person singular conjugation of the verb "sentir," meaning "to feel."
- Pronounce this question as koh-moh say see-en-tay.
- For someone you are familiar with, you could use "¿Cómo te sientes?" instead.
- Use "¿Cómo van las cosas?" Translated literally, this question asks, "How are things going?"
- Cómo means "how" and "van" is a conjugated form of the verb "ir," meaning "to go."
- "Las cosas" means "the things." When translating the question into English, though, you would drop the word "the."
- Pronounce this question as koh-moh bahn lahs koh-sahs.
- Ask "¿Cómo andas?" While a little less common, this is another question that loosely translates into "How are you doing?"
- Translated literally, this phrase actually asks "How are you walking?"
- Andas is a second person singular conjugation of the verb "andar," meaning "to walk." Since this verb is conjugated in the informal "you" tense, you would only ask this question to someone you are familiar with.
- The pronunciation of this phrase is koh-moh ahn-dahs.
- Try asking "¿Qué pasa?" This is an informal way of asking someone how they are and is equivalent to the English, "What's up?"
- Translated more literally, it means "What is passing?" or "What is going on?"
- Qué means "what."
- Pasa is the third person singular conjugated form of the verb "pasar," meaning "to pass" or "to go."
- Note that the third person conjugation refers to an inanimate "it" rather than the polite "you" form, "usted." As such, this phrase is still considered informal.
- A general pronunciation of this phrase would be kay pah-sah.
- Switch to "¿Qué tal?" This is another question that could be interpreted as "What's up" or "How are things?"
- The literal translation of this question is somewhat clumsy to a native English speaker. Qué means "what" and tal means "such," so a literal translation would be "what such?"
- Pronounce this question as kay tahl.
EditMethod Three: Responding to the Question - Answer positively with "bien." This adjective translates into "well."
- Pronounce the word bee-en.
- You could also say "Estoy bien," meaning, "I am well." Estoy—pronounced ehs-toy—is the first person singular or "I" conjugation of the "to be" verb "estar."
- To be polite, follow your response with the word "gracias," pronounced grah-see-us. This interjection means "thanks," and suggests to the other individual that you are happy or grateful that he or she asked how you were.
- If you feel really great, say "muy bien." Muy, pronounced moo-ee, is an adverb meaning "very."
- Answer negatively with "mal." This word translates into "bad" or "poorly."
- Pronounce the word as mahl.
- As with bien, you can also answer "Estoy mal" to mean "I am doing poorly" or "Muy mal" to mean "Very bad." You would not generally follow the statement with "gracias," however.
- Use "más o menos" if your mood is in between. This phrase is generally regarded to mean "so-so" or "okay."
- Translated more directly, the phrase actually means "more or less." Más means "more," o means "or," and menos means "less."
- The pronunciation for this phrase is mahs oh meh-nohs.
- Explain how you feel with "Me siento..." This phrase translates literally into, "I feel..." and must be followed with an adjective describing how you feel, like "bien" or "mal."
- This phrase would generally be used in response to the question "¿Cómo se siente?"
- Pronounce the phrase as may see-en-toh.
- Answer "un poco cansado" or "una poca cansada" if you feel tired. This translates literally into "a little tired."
- Poco means "little."
- Cansado means "tired" or "sleepy."
- The -o or -a ending depends on your gender. If you are male, say "un poco cansado." If you are female, say "un poco cansada.
- Pronounce "un poco cansado" as oon po-ko kahn-sah-doh.
- Pronounce "un poco cansada" as oon po-ko kahn-sah-dah.
- Reply with "estoy enfermo" or "estoy enferma" if you feel ill. This phrase literally means, "I am sick" or "I am ill."
- Estoy is the "I" conjugation of the verb "estoy," meaning "to be."
- Enfermo is an adjective meaning "sick" or "ill." The ending will change from -o to -a depending on your gender. If you are male, use "enfermo." If you are female, use "enferma."
- Pronounce "estoy enfermo" as ehs-toy en-fer-moh. Say en-fer-mah for "enferma."
- Follow up with "¿Y tú?" This question literally translates into, "and you?"
- Use this question after someone has asked you how you are and you have given your response. By doing so, you are returning the question and asking the other person how he or she is.
- Y means "and."
- Tú is the familiar way of saying "you." Note that if you are speaking with someone you are not familiar with, you should use the formal "you" translation, "usted."
- The right pronunciation of "¿y tú?" is ee too. For "¿y usted?," the pronunciation would be ee oos-tehd.
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How to Clean a Guinea Pig Cage Posted: 06 Aug 2016 01:00 AM PDT Guinea pigs are often prized as excellent pets. They typically have an agreeable personality and tend to have a relatively long lifespan compared to other small pets.[1] But like every pet, guinea pigs need a safe, clean, and healthy environment in order to thrive. EditMaking Your Guinea Pig Comfortable - Restrain your guinea pig. Do this by gently placing one hand around its chest, keeping your thumb beneath the guinea pig's jaw. Use your other hand to support the guinea pig's hindquarters, holding it upright between your two hands.[2]
- It's important to handle your guinea pig firmly enough that it won't fall, but not so firmly as to injure its body. Be aware that if your guinea pig is prone to nervousness or skittishness, it may try to squirm out of your hands and jump, which can lead to serious injury.[3]
- Take your guinea pig out of its cage. Once your guinea pig is properly restrained, move it into a safe, enclosed space from which it can't escape. Make sure somebody is around watching your guinea pig, and that there are no loud noises around that may scare it. Someone can hold your guinea pig, if you want.
- Groom your guinea pig, as necessary. Long-haired guinea pigs need to be brushed daily.[4] If you need to groom or bathe your guinea pig, it may be easiest to do so while your pet is out of its cage.
- Unless your guinea pig has gotten sticky or smelly, it should only need to be bathed a maximum of 2-3 times per year.[5]
- Give your guinea pig someplace to hide. Your pet should be used to having a designated hiding place in its permanent cage. When you remove your guinea pig from its home, it may become frightened. If you can't fit its permanent hiding place into the temporary enclosed space, make a small temporary space by cutting the bottom out of a cardboard box.[6]
EditCleaning Your Guinea Pig's Cage on a Daily Basis - Spot-clean the cage. Remove excess food and waste, spot-clean the cage as needed with a wet paper towel, and make sure the bedding is completely dry.
- Refill food and water. This should be done every single day. If your guinea pig spills water into the food dish, remove that food and replenish the dish with fresh, dry food.
- Wash food and water dishes in hot, soapy water. Doing this every day will help prevent bacteria from growing in the food and water receptacles.[7]
EditConducting Weekly Cleanings - Plan to conduct thorough cage cleanings about once every week. Though daily maintenance and spot-cleaning are necessary, you will also need to thoroughly clean out your guinea pig's cage once every week. This will ensure that your guinea pig is healthy and happy, and its environment is odor-free.
- Remove everything from your guinea pig's cage. When you're doing a thorough cage cleaning, remove all of your pet's toys, as well as its food bowl, water bottle, and hiding place.
- Wash the water bottle and food bowl. A guinea pig will often get pieces of bedding and/or droppings into its food bowl, so it's important to clean food and water bowls regularly.[8]
- Empty out any leftover food and water. Then run some hot water and submerge the water bottle and food bowl. Leave them in the sink to dry while you clean out the cage.
- If your pet's hiding place can be washed, it's a good idea to rinse it off as well.
- Take your cage to where you plan to clean it and get a large garbage bag. Carefully brush everything into the bag, removing all substrate material from the enclosure.[9]
- For really big cages, it is handy to have a cat-poop scooper to scrape out the cage. Do not use the same one as your cat, dog or other pet.
- Spray the inside of the cage down. You can use a mild detergent, or mix three-parts warm water and one-part distilled white vinegar.[10]
- For deeper stains and messes, use undiluted vinegar, but make sure to clean off well afterwards!
- Rinse the cage out. Be sure to rinse off every surface of the cage, especially after using a spray-cleaner.
- Dry the cage with paper towels. If you have the time, you can let it air dry. It's important to be sure your guinea pig's cage is completely dry before laying down the newspaper and bedding, as dampness can quickly cause a mold problem that can lead to illness for your pet.[11]
EditSetting Up Your Pet's Home - Line the cage with fresh and clean new newspaper, then fill with bedding. You should make the bedding about 1-3 inches deep, or 2.5-7.6 centimeters.
- You should never use cedar or pine shavings. Though these wood chips are often sold for use in cages, they actually contain chemicals which can be harmful to your guinea pig.[12]
- Generally speaking, hay makes a good bedding choice. But damp hay can harbor fungal growth, and dry, dusty hay could cause respiratory problems.[13]
- Be sure the cage is completely dry before you put down newspaper and bedding. Putting down new bedding and newspaper on a damp surface can quickly lead to mold and fungus growth in the cage.
- Put the cage back together (if you took it apart) and put the toys and things back in their places. Hide your pet's favorite treats in paper towel rolls or hang them up by a piece of string. (But make sure your piggy can reach it!)
- Control the environment. Remember that guinea pigs need a constant temperature, and your pet's cage should not be exposed to direct sources of heat or cold.[14] It's best to keep the room temperature from dropping below 70 degrees Fahrenheit (21.1 degrees Celsius) or getting above 90 degrees Fahrenheit (32.2 degrees Celsius).[15]
- Give your guinea pig something to chew on in its cage. Untreated wood is best, as plastic can be swallowed and cause harm to your pet.[16]
- Use either a sponge or a small, fresh rag and a diluted solution of distilled white vinegar to wipe/spray down your piggies home. Don't use Windex or any other cleaning spray as it can be harmful to your cavy.
- To help you clean your cage, put a layer of newspaper underneath the bedding. That way you can roll it up when its time to refresh the cage.
- There are many pet safe cage cleaning sprays/wipes available at pet stores, if you don't feel comfortable using what you have at home.
- Most animal experts recommend giving your guinea pig a hiding place inside its cage.
- If you have more than one guinea pig clean it two times a week.
- Leave a rough surface in a small area of the Guinea pig cage so they can keep their nails a sensible size!
- Cleaning your pig's cage at least on a weekly basis is very important in maintaining your pet's health.
- Do not use wood chips or sawdust as they cause serious harm to your pet. Cedar bedding can cause many health problems, as can pine. Kiln-dried pine is suitable for bedding if nothing else is available.
- Always have someone supervising your guinea pigs. Guinea pigs are naturally curious and can get into a lot of trouble.
- Guinea pigs need a constant temperature. Your guinea pig's cage should not be exposed to direct sources of heat or cold.[17]
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