| How to Get Over Your Ex Posted: 29 Sep 2019 05:00 PM PDT Getting over someone you loved can feel like an impossible task, but there is hope! You feel a lot of pain right now because your relationship gave you a boost of dopamine, which is a chemical that makes you feel happy. Now that your ex is out of your life, you're no longer getting that happiness boost. Fortunately, you can work through your painful emotions and come out stronger than before! [Edit]Coping After a Breakup - Keep yourself busy for 2-3 weeks after a breakup. Going through a breakup is especially painful because the love and attention you got from your ex is gone. Now that your ex is out of your life, you're probably feeling painful withdrawals. To help yourself feel better, fill your day with self-care and fun activities with your friends and family. Here are some ways to take care of yourself:
- Spend 15-60 minutes in the morning focusing on your intentions.
- Do a fun exercise like dancing or kickboxing.
- Take care of your basic needs, like eating, bathing, and cleaning your space.
- Do something nice for yourself, like getting a spa treatment or buying a special cup of coffee.
- Go to work or school.
- Spend time working on a personal goal or hobby.
- Create a routine to help you take care of your needs. When you were with your ex, you likely had a routine that involved talking to and seeing them. Switching up your routine may help you focus on the future. Develop a new schedule for yourself that focuses on the life you want. Be sure to include reminders to keep up with your responsibilities, like paying your bills, washing your clothes, and eating healthy meals.
- During a breakup, taking care of yourself can be really hard. Following a routine can help you keep up with your healthy habits!
- Use distraction to keep your mind off your ex in the first few days. Since your relationship made you happy, you're naturally going to be craving that feeling after you breakup. However, thinking about your ex and remembering your relationship will only make your pain last longer. Instead, do an activity that requires you to focus on the present to distract yourself from your pain. Pick something that makes you feel happy and helps you have fun without your ex!
- For instance, invite your friends over for a game night, go for a nature walk, do a scavenger hunt, take a painting class with your friends, read an exciting book, or go to a Meetup.
- Don't use distraction to avoid your feelings altogether. Eventually, you'll need to deal with the painful emotions you're feeling.
- Engage in activities that make you feel good to get a dopamine boost. Replacing the dopamine boost you got from your relationship may help you feel better post-breakup. Do at least 1 activity every day that makes you feel great. Pick things that are healthy for you and support your lifestyle goals rather than using unhealthy coping strategies. Here are some ideas:
- Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day.
- Take an art or cooking class.
- Join a recreational sports team.
- Get a pet if you've been wanting one.
- Join a club that's focused on your interests.
- Volunteer for a cause you care about.
- Surround yourself with friends and family to create a support system. During a breakup, you need to be a part of a community. Reach out to your family and friends for help during this time. Invite them to spend time with you and talk or text with them daily. This can remind you that you're well-loved.[1]
- You might feel tempted to withdraw during a breakup, but you need to be with people you care about. If you don't feel like going out, ask a friend or relative to do something fun with you at home, like watching a movie or making a craft project.
[Edit]Processing Your Emotions - Shake your body to burn off excess energy. When you feel strong emotions like sadness, anger, and anxiety, your body releases negative energy as part of your survival response. However, this negative energy can make you feel bad if you don't get it out. An easy way to release the energy is to shake your body. Start at your shoulders and slowly move down to your feet, shaking yourself as you go. As you do this, imagine that the negative energy is leaving your body.
- If you don't like shaking yourself, try releasing the energy through a vigorous workout.
- Vent your feelings to someone you trust. Talking about how you feel can help you feel better. Choose someone you can trust to share your feelings with. Then, tell them about what happened and how it's affecting you. Additionally, share any worries you have.
- Ask the person to listen to you without giving you advice. Say, "This breakup is really hard. Do you mind if I vent a little?"
- Examine the reasons why your ex isn't right for you. Don't idealize your ex after your breakup. Instead, focus on the qualities that make them a bad match for you. Think about the times they let you down or the qualities they don't have. Let this convince you that things weren't meant to work out between you.[2]
- Consider the things you want in a partner. Later, you can use this list to help you find a better partner for yourself.
- Confront beliefs that you won't find love again if you feel this way. Your breakup may be more painful if you thought your ex was "the one" for you. It might be hard to imagine yourself with someone else, but it will happen one day. Stop thinking that you have just one soulmate out there. Instead, remind yourself that you will find love again.
- You don't have just one match out there in the world. Everyone has several different potential love matches, so it's no big deal if one relationship ends.
- Use a gratitude journal to identify what's going well in your life. Focusing on the positives in your life can help you balance out your negative emotions, and expressing gratitude for the good things in your life is a great way to think positively! In your gratitude journal, write down 3-5 things every day that you're grateful for. These can be big or small things! When you feel down, re-read all of your lists to help you feel better.
- For instance, you might write, "my friends, my cat, and beautiful weather today."
[Edit]Removing Your Ex from Your Life - Get rid of physical reminders of your ex. Seeing things that remind you of your ex will keep you locked in the cycle of craving their affection. Go through your living space and remove anything that makes you think of them. Take down photos, remove gifts, and collect mementos. Donate or throw away the items so they won't remind you of the past.[3]
- If you don't want to throw the stuff away, put the items in a box that you can give to a friend. When you're ready, your friend can either discard the box or return it to you.
- Do a digital detox to avoid reminders of your ex. Your digital world is likely full of reminders about your relationship, and seeing them will be painful. Don't scroll through photos of you and your ex during good times because it will make it take longer for you to get over them. Here's what you need to do to detox digitally:[4]
- Unfollow all of their social media pages.
- Delete all of your ex's text or email messages.
- Save your relationship photos to a folder you can access later, then delete them.
- Block their phone number.
- Stay off social media in the days after the breakup.
- Focus on yourself instead of worrying about what your ex is doing. You might be wondering about who your ex is seeing, what they're doing, or if they feel bad about what happened. Don't give them one more second of your time! Instead of worrying about them, keep your mind on your own needs and wants.
- When you catch yourself thinking about your ex, turn your attention to a hobby or interest.
- Say "no" to post-break up sex with your ex. It's normal to feel tempted to hook up with your ex, but doing so will only make the pain worse. Your brain is hardwired to form an emotional connection during sex, and it'll be an even stronger connection if you're doing it with someone you used to love. Don't be alone with your ex after the breakup so you won't be tempted.
- If you have to see them, ask someone to go with you so that you won't be alone with them.
[Edit]Returning to Yourself - Focus on your existing relationships and on making new friends. Healthy relationships with your friends and family can help you be a stronger, more independent person. Plus, they will help you realize that you don't need your ex! Spend time with the people who are important to you so you can grow closer to them. Additionally, go to local events, clubs, Meetups, or classes to meet new people.[5]
- Keep in touch with your friends by talking or texting daily.
- Join your friends for coffee dates, dinner, and games.
- Pursue the interests you set aside during your relationship. While you were with your ex, it's likely that you gave up part of yourself to become a partner to them. Now that you're apart, regaining what you lost can help you enjoy being single! Think about the things you enjoyed before you got with your ex. Then, start including those things in you routine.
- For instance, you might have given up your gym membership because you never had time to go. Now is the time to renew it!
- As another example, you might have stopped painting or doing photography because you were spending more time with your ex. Break out your equipment and dive back into that hobby!
- Start a new passion project to help you feel fulfilled. Pick a goal you've always wanted to accomplish or something that's always interested you. Then, make a list of steps you can take to start working on it. Dedicate a block of time each day to work on your goal, and try to check off the steps on your list. This can help you stop thinking about your ex and build your independence.
- For example, you might decide to pursue a degree or to start a photography business.
- As you work on your passion project, remind yourself that you're building a future for yourself that isn't dependent on a relationship.
- Try new things that your ex refused to do with you. Think about the times your ex said "no" to something you wanted to do, like trying a new restaurant or visiting a local museum. Then, create a breakup bucket list of these items. Ask a friend to join you or go alone as you check off each item on the list. Each time you do something, remind yourself that your ex was holding you back from it.
- For instance, join a friend for Indian food at the restaurant your ex wouldn't try, paint pottery with a group of friends, play beach volleyball, go on a picnic in the park, visit the planetarium, and go to a slam poetry reading.
- Identify the future you want for yourself. Picture yourself in a year, 5 years, and 10 years. Think about how you want to live and what type of things you want to do. Then, write down what you hope to accomplish in the coming years so you can start working toward those goals. This can help you create a life you love as you move on from your ex.
- For instance, you might want to buy a home, build your career, and take your dream vacation.
- Similarly, you might realize that you want to add more creativity to your life or that you want to move to a different area.
- Do not rush into a new relationship. You don't want to drag a bunch of emotional baggage into someone else's life. You may end up realizing that your new partner is someone you barely know or do not have any real interest in. Focus on feeling better about yourself.
- Focus on building new memories with your friends to replace bad feelings about your ex.
[Edit]Warnings - Ignore all the rumors and things that might be going around about you and your ex. They are not worth your time.
- Make sure you do not use another person to make your ex jealous. It won't work, and you may end up hurting both yourself and the other person.
- Don't waste your energy trying to get back at your ex. The best revenge is creating a life you love and pursuing your own happiness!
[Edit]Related wikiHows [Edit]References [Edit]Quick Summary |
| How to Get Coffee Stains Out of a White Shirt Posted: 29 Sep 2019 09:00 AM PDT Coffee may benefit your health, but it does not benefit your clothes. While a coffee stain can seem especially hopeless on a white shirt, you can easily treat and clean it at home. If you've recently spilled coffee on a white shirt, laundry detergent is a great method to try. For stains that have dried, try soaking the shirt in a vinegar solution, applying a stain stick, or washing it with bleach. [Edit]Removing Fresh Coffee Stains - Check the label to see what your shirt is made out of. Take off the white shirt place it on a flat area, like a table or ironing board. Depending on the fabric, the coffee might not have fully absorbed into the shirt. [1] Materials like cotton and linen absorb more water than fabrics like polyester and acrylic. A stained cotton shirt might require more blotting than a polyester one.[2]
- Take your shirt to a dry cleaner if you'd prefer to have it cleaned professionally.
- If you can't find a good surface to lay your shirt on, consider placing an old towel on a section of floor or carpet. This will secure the shirt without staining the floor below.
- Soak up the excess coffee with a paper towel. Apply pressure to the stained area with a folded paper towel. Use quick motions to blot up any extra coffee. Place your other hand on the side of the shirt to keep it secure while you blot.[3]
- If one portion of the towel absorbs too much coffee, rotate the paper towel so that a clean section blots up the coffee. Use a new paper towel as needed.
- Soak the shirt in cold water and wring it out. Hold the blotted shirt under cold, running water for several minutes before twisting out any excess. Hold the shirt under the running water until the stained area is completely soaked. Keep the stain submerged for at least 3 minutes, and rub the stain with your fingers to coax it away with water.[4]
- Repeat this process as needed until the coffee stain has diminished.
- Add a coin-sized amount of detergent to the spot. Take your usual laundry detergent and pour a small, coin-sized amount on top of the stain. You don't need to get a special detergent for this—any kind will do, as long as it's in liquid form. [5]
- If you don't want to pour out too much detergent at once, use the cap to pour a smaller amount.
- Rub the detergent in with your fingers and let it sit for 3-5 minutes. Put on rubber gloves and rub the cleaning product into the coffee stain before leaving the shirt alone for at least 3 minutes. Use short, gentle movements, so you don't disturb the fabric of the shirt. While the fabric is damp, rub in the detergent.[6]
- Massage the coffee stain after 5 minutes. Use the tips of your fingers to rub any lingering detergent into the fabric. This final effort helps to remove any visible portions of the stain before you put it in the washing machine. Don't be discouraged if you don't see any visible changes after rubbing in the detergent.[7]
- Wash your hands thoroughly after making direct contact with any cleaning agents.
- Rinse out any remaining detergent. Hold the shirt over a sink and turn on the faucet. Use cold, running water to rinse the detergent out of the stained area. Take both hands and wring the water out until there are no more suds rinsing out of the shirt.[8]
- Clean your shirt using the washing machine. Take the damp shirt and place it into your washing machine. Pour a small amount of regular detergent into the machine before beginning the cycle. Ideally, the water should be somewhere between and so the stain doesn't set. You can wash this shirt in a separate load or with other whites.[9]
- Switch to a stain removal detergent if you want to use a stronger cleaning formula.
- Make sure that the stain is gone before drying. Remove the shirt from the washing machine and check to see if the stain is gone. Do not dry or iron the shirt until you're positive that you've removed the stain. Heat makes stains permanent in clothing.[10]
- If there's still a coffee stain visible after you've treated and washed the shirt, consider using some other home remedies, like bleach, vinegar, or stain remover.
[Edit]Getting Rid of Dried Coffee Stains - Remove your shirt and check to see what it's made out of. Take off your shirt and lay it on a flat surface so that you can examine it more carefully. Coffee tends to completely soak through natural fibers like linen and cotton, but it may have only stained the surface of less absorbent materials like polyester. More absorbent clothing fibers like cotton and linen may have to soak in a cleaning solution longer than polyester or acrylic materials.[11]
- Acrylic fibers are also more water-resistant.
- Pour warm water into a large container. Use a faucet to pour of warm water into a bucket or other large container. The water should be lukewarm, and not hot to the touch. Make sure that the shirt can fit in the bucket or container without any water overflowing.[12]
- Water is considered lukewarm between and .
- Mix white vinegar and dish soap into the water. Measure out of white vinegar and of dish detergent and stir them into the warm water. Mix the solution for 1-2 minutes until you are sure that the detergent has dissolved completely. Use a ruler or a long, wooden spoon to stir the mixture together.[13]
- You can use distilled white vinegar instead of the regular kind. Distilled vinegar is purified and a little less acidic than regular white vinegar, so it won't be as potent in the mixture.[14]
- Soak the shirt in the mixture for 15 minutes. Use both hands to delicately place the stained shirt into the vinegar and dish soap solution. Let the shirt soak for at least 15 minutes, so the mixture can set into the stain. Don't worry if it doesn't soak for that exact amount of time.[15]
- Rinse out the shirt to check the stain. Remove the shirt from the bucket and wring it out over the sink. Turn on the faucet so that cold water runs over the shirt. Take a close look at the fabric to see if the stain has washed out completely.[16]
- Apply a stain removal agent if vinegar doesn't work. Check the instructions on your stain removal agent and apply the designated amount of product to the stain. Let the product sit for several minutes, depending on what the instructions say.[17]
- Purchase stain removal agents at any store that sells laundry detergent.
- Wash with bleach if the stain persists. Add your shirt to a larger load of wash that you plan to bleach. Double check all clothing labels to make sure that each item can be washed with bleach. Pour in the specified amount into your load of wash and run a hot water cycle.[18]
- Don't use bleach if your shirt is made of silk, leather, wool, or Lycra. Instead, try using a stain removal agent again.
- Clean your washing machine after running a cycle with bleach.
- Air-dry the shirt in an open area. Take the rinsed shirt and hang it in an open area. Hang your shirt outside or indoors.[19] Make sure that the shirt gets plenty of open air so it can dry completely.[20]
- Buy an indoor drying rack at a home supply store to make sure that your shirt gets an even amount of air while drying.[21]
- Don't put the stained shirt in the dryer until the stain is removed. Large amounts of heat will permanently set the stain.[22]
[Edit]Things You'll Need [Edit]Removing Fresh Coffee Stains - Paper towel
- Laundry detergent
- Rubber gloves
[Edit]Getting Rid of Dried Coffee Stains - Vinegar
- Dish soap
- Bleach
- Stain remover
[Edit]References |
| How to Seal a Door Posted: 29 Sep 2019 01:00 AM PDT Gaps around your door allow air to pass through, creating drafts in your home. This will reduce the efficiency of your heating and cooling and can make your home less comfortable to be in. However, it is quick and easy to seal a door. To do it, determine where your air leaks are and cover them with weather stripping. After you apply the weather stripping, you simply need to ensure that your door can still open and close easily before enjoying the benefits of your newly sealed door. [Edit]Checking and Cleaning the Doorway - Tighten the hinges on your door. Lift the door by the doorknob. If you can move it upward, then the hinges are likely loose. Use a screwdriver to tighten the screws holding the hinges in place.[1]
- Some drafts are caused by the door shifting due to loose hinges. Because of this, before you seal the edges of your door, take a few minutes to tighten all of the hardware.
- If the hinge screws spin but won't tighten, it means that the wood in the hole is stripped out. You will need to replace the screws with wider or longer screws so that they can dig into wood that is not damaged. You may also need to fill the holes with wood plugs and re-drive the new screws into those plugs if there is a lot of wood damage.
- Check the state of the old weather stripping. If your door had weather stripping previously installed, it might be damaged or deformed. Check it by running your hand around the perimeter of the door while the door is closed. Feel for air coming in between the door and the frame. Mark the areas where you feel air coming in with a light pencil mark or a piece of painter's tape.
- If you can feel a draft while checking areas that already have weather stripping, you will need to remove the old weather stripping and replace it with a new seal.
- Clean the areas that need to be sealed. Remove old weather stripping that is broken or ineffective by peeling or sliding it away. Then use a damp rag to wipe away any visible dirt and debris from the door frame and the edges of the door itself. This will help you attach your new weather stripping securely.[2]
- Drag the edge of a paint scraper along the top, bottom, and sides of the door and door frame to remove any stuck-on debris from these surfaces.
- Also clean the threshold, which is the bottom of the door frame. If there are grooves along the threshold, run a nail through the grooves to scrape away any gunk that has gotten lodged in there. Then run a lightly damp rag along the threshold and door frame to ensure that the surfaces are clean.
- Buy new weather stripping at a home improvement or hardware store. There are several different types of weather stripping available, so you'll need to decide which one you wish to use. For the top and sides of your door, wrapped foam weather stripping is durable and works well with gaps of various sizes. Weather stripping with a wooden shell is durable yet easier to work with than metal weather stripping, so it makes a good choice for someone who has no prior experience sealing doors. For the door sweep, consider using a metal door sweep with a flexible vinyl flap for greater durability.[3]
- A metal door sweep with a flexible vinyl flap is also fairly easy to install, as the metal piece is screwed down and then the vinyl is inserted into it. More advanced options include storm-proof seals and roller door seals, such as brush or auto-lift vinyl seals that attach to the bottom of roller doors.[4]
- If purchasing a weather stripping kit, note that most kits only contain weatherstripping for the top and sides of your door. You will need to purchase a separate door sweep.
- Rigid door sweeps will not work if the carpet is higher or even with the threshold. When rigid door sweeps won't work, use flexible bulb weather stripping made of vinyl. This attaches to the threshold right under the door.[5]
[Edit]Measuring the Door - Measure the top and sides of the door frame. Close the door and measure along the top of the frame using a tape measure. With the door still closed, measure along both sides of the frame with a tape measure.[6]
- Note that your measurements for the top and sides of the door will need to be made along the door frame and not the door itself.
- To achieve a tight seal, you will need to measure cut pieces of weather stripping that are tailor fit to each side, which means that you will need to know the precise length of each side.
- Measure the bottom of the door. Open the door, then measure the bottom of the door using a tape measure. Unlike the measurements you took for the top and side seals, you will need to measure for the bottom seal by measuring the bottom of the door itself.[7]
- Make sure that you face the inside of the door as you take this measurement. This is the surface that you will be applying weather stripping onto.
- Mark those measurements on the weather stripping. Use a tape measure to measure out each length onto the weather stripping for the top and sides of the door that you purchased. Mark the length of the bottom of the door on the door sweep weather stripping that you purchased.[8]
- Mark each length using a sharp pencil or marker. Make sure that each line you draw is clear and sharp.
- When using a weather stripping kit, you will have two long pieces for the sides and one short piece for the top. Make sure to draw your top measurement on the short piece and your side measurements on the long pieces.
- Trim the weather stripping down to size. Cut the weather stripping at the marks you just measured out. Keep your cuts as clean and even as possible to ensure a tight seal. You'll also need to make sure that the ends of the top piece are angles and one end of each side piece is angled to fit into the top piece of weather stripping. You do not need to angle the bottom end of your side pieces.[9]
- The foam and vinyl portions can be cut using sharp scissors, but you will need a hacksaw or similar tool to cut any metal or wood portions.
- Hold the metal or wood still with one hand and saw through it with the other. Saw slowly so that you cut it in a straight line.
[Edit]Installing Weather Stripping - Tack the top piece of weather stripping in place. Step inside, close the door, and then position the top piece of weather stripping along the top of your door frame. Loosely nail it into place. Only hammer the nails in enough to hold the weather stripping in place.[10]
- Do not finish driving the nails until you add the side pieces.
- This seal must be installed along the door frame and not onto the door itself.
- Use 1-1/2 inch (3.75 cm) nails. Place the nails 2 inches (5 cm) in from either side to prevent splitting. Nails should also be 12 inches (30.5 cm) apart.
- Tack your side pieces into place. Position the side pieces of weather stripping along the sides of your door frame. As with the top piece, your side pieces will need to fit onto the door frame instead of the actual door and the foam should fill the gap around the door. Place each side piece along the sides of the door frame and tack them into place with a hammer and nails.[11]
- If the top angle does not fit into the top piece of weather stripping, file it down. You can use a metal file, sandpaper, or sanding belt to fine-tune these top angles.
- Make small adjustments and check the fit until you reach the proper angle.
- As with the top piece of weather stripping, use 1-1/2 inch nails and place them 2 inches (5 cm) from either end. Nails should be spaced 12 inches (30.5 cm) apart from one another.
- Test the seal. Open and close the door several times to make sure that the weather stripping seals properly. Feel the areas you marked that had air flow to ensure that the weather stripping is doing its job. The weather stripping must completely seal against the door as it closes, and the door must be able to latch and lock.
- Remove and adjust the placement of your weather stripping as needed to achieve a proper seal.
- Set the nails to hold the weather stripping in place. Finish hammering in the nails once the weather stripping along the top and sides of the door seals properly. Check the seal once more after you finish hammering in the nails. Open and close the door to make sure that the seal still holds.[12]
- Determine the proper position of the door sweep on the door. Place the door sweep along the bottom edge of the inside of the door, but do not screw or nail it into place yet. The flexible portion of the door sweep must touch the top of the threshold, but it should not rub against it too tightly.[13]
- Metal door sweeps will already have screw holes in them. Mark the position of these holes onto your door using a pencil or marker. Remove the door sweep temporarily, then drill pilot holes into these marked portions.
- Note that vinyl door sweeps are installed on the threshold instead of the door, however. Align one end of the strip with one end of the threshold. Using your hands, firmly press the flanges, which are the edges of the strip, into the grooves of the threshold.[14]
- Attach the door sweep. Push the door sweep against the bottom threshold of the door. Insert the screws into your previously drilled pilot holes. Use a screwdriver to screw the sweep in place.[15]
- When using a vinyl door sweep, place a wood tapping block over the weather stripping. Strike the block with your hammer to drive the flanges of the weatherstripping deep into the grooves of the threshold.
- Test the seal once more. Open and close the door several times to test the bottom seal. Once the sides, top, and bottom portions of weatherstripping are properly installed, the process is complete. Your door should now be sealed.[16]
- Take each measurement twice before cutting to ensure accuracy.
- Note that weatherstripping should be applied when temperatures are above 20 degrees Fahrenheit (-7 degrees Celsius).[17]
[Edit]Things You'll Need - Damp rag
- Paint scraper, if necessary
- Weatherstripping
- Door sweep
- Hammer
- 1-1/2 inch (3.75 cm) nails
- 1-1/2 inch (3.75 cm) screws
- Drill
- Screwdriver
- Hacksaw or coping saw
- Sharp scissors
- Sand paper, metal file, or sanding belt
- Measuring tape
- Pencil or marker
[Edit]References |
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