| How to Grieve a Relationship Posted: 06 Jul 2019 05:00 PM PDT A breakup can feel like the end of the world, and it some ways it is. You've lost the future you were building with your ex, and dealing with those emotions can be incredibly painful. However, you can start to feel better as you go through the process of grieving your relationship, and time will heal your wounds. By letting yourself grieve, you can process your emotions so you can move on to a bright future. EditCoping in the First Few Days - Take a few days to yourself to process your emotions. Ending a relationship is similar to a death because you're losing someone from your life. Additionally, you're losing the future you had with that person. Give yourself permission to spend 3-5 days dealing with your emotions and grieving your loss. During this time, focus on self-care and self-compassion.
- For instance, do things that relax your body, like soaking in a bathtub, getting a massage, or snuggling with your pet. Additionally, nourish your body with nutritious foods and exercise to release endorphins that will make you feel better.
- Give yourself permission to do what makes you feel better without judging yourself for it.
- Vent your feelings to a trusted friend or relative. Talk to someone you trust about the painful emotions you're feeling. This can help you get everything out so you can start feeling better. Before you talk to them, let them know that you're not asking for advice.
- Say, "I really need to talk about my feelings, but I don't want you to give me advice."
- It may help to talk to several people, so reach out if you need support.
- Spend time with family and friends to remind yourself you're loved. When you're going through the grieving process, relying on your community can help you get through. Reach out to your friends and loved ones for support. At first, invite them to spend time with you in your home. When you're ready, go on social outings with the people you care about.
- It's important to remind yourself that your relationship with your ex isn't your only relationship.
- For instance, invite your best friends over to watch movies or play games. Alternatively, join your friends for dinner or dancing.
- Create a routine to help you get used to your new normal. A breakup can throw your life off balance because it changes how you spend your time, as well as your expectations for the future. This can be disorienting, but a new routine may help you find your footing. Write out a schedule for your day that includes your responsibilities, time for your interests, and time for self-care. Adjust this routine until you find a schedule that feels comfortable for you.
- For example, you might wake up at 7:00 a.m. to workout and take a shower. Then, you may spend your day at work or school. After work, you could set aside time to go out with your friends or work on a hobby. During the evening, you might plan a warm bath and meditation as part of your self-care routine.
- Distract yourself from your pain with a fun activity. Since being in a relationship made you feel good, the end of your relationship can flood you with painful emotions. Doing something pleasurable may help relieve your pain because it can release a flood of dopamine. Pick activities that make you happy, like playing with your pet, dancing, or getting coffee with a friend. Then, do at least 1 a day to help you cope with the pain you feel.[1]
- For example, take your dog to a dog park, get a massage, or go roller skating with your friends.
EditCutting Your Ex Out of Your Life - Remove all of the physical reminders of your relationship. Seeing items that remind you of your ex will make you miss them more. This makes it hard to move on! Throw out anything that reminds you of them, such as gifts, pictures, or cards.
- If you don't want to throw away the items, put gifts, photos, letters, cards, and other mementos into a box. Give the box to a trusted friend or relative so you won't be tempted to open it.
- Delete all of your digital communications and pictures. You might be tempted to read through your old texts or messages to look for signs of what went wrong or to relive the good times, but this will make it harder for you to get over the pain of the breakup. Delete the digital footprint of your relationship so you won't be tempted to look at it. This includes text messages, emails, app messages, and photos.
- If you have photos of special events, like your birthday party, that you don't want to delete, send them to someone you trust for safe keeping. Then, you can get the photos back once you're over the breakup.
- Block your ex on social media so you won't see their updates. Seeing your ex's social media updates will only make the breakup hurt more. Seeing them happy may make you feel awful, so don't put yourself through that. Unfollow or block all of their pages, and resist creeping on their accounts.
- If you're having trouble unfollowing or blocking them, take a break from social media altogether.
- Delete and block their number from your phone. It's normal to want to text or call them, but doing so will only make you feel worse. Every time you see or talk to them, you'll reignite your craving for them. Remove them from your contacts so that you can't give into the temptation to call or text. Then, block their number so they can't reach out to you.
EditReleasing Your Emotions - Recognize and name the emotions that you're feeling. You're likely feeling sad, angry, confused, and possibly regretful. Give yourself permission to feel your emotions, then name what you're feeling. This can help you process your emotions so you can grieve.[2]
- For instance, you might say to yourself, "I feel sad because I thought this relationship would last forever. I also feel confused because I don't know what went wrong."
- Close your eyes and identify how your emotions are affecting your body. Emotions are often physical as well as mental. That means your feelings will be causing sensations in your body, like pain, tightness, heat, coldness, or tension. Focus your attention on what you're feeling in your body so that you can work on releasing it.[3]
- As an example, you might feel a tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach, or coldness throughout your body. Similarly, your face might feel hot or you might have cold sweats.
- Respond to the emotion by giving it a natural release. You need to release your pent-up emotions to help you feel better. Sometimes you can do this by talking or writing out your thoughts. However, you might need to do something physical, like crying or doing kickboxing. Do what feels right for you.[4]
- For instance, you might cry, scream, or exercise to release your feelings. Similarly, you could talk to your best friend or write in a journal.
- If the first thing you try doesn't work, try something else.
- Reflect on your experience by writing out your thoughts. Use free writing or journaling to help you process what happened. Examine how you feel, what you learned, and what you can do moving forward. During your reflection, try to answer the following questions:
- What's upsetting you most?
- What's frustrating you?
- What is your body trying to tell you?
- What can you learn from this experience?
- How will you approach your next relationship differently?
- How do you see your future?
- Forgive your ex if they hurt you. It's really hard to forgive someone who hurt you, but doing it will help you feel better. Acknowledge to yourself that what they did hurt you and that they were wrong for doing it. Then, accept that what happened is in the past and there's nothing that can change it. Finally, state your forgiveness to yourself or in a letter that you don't send.
- You don't need to tell your ex that you're forgiving them. This process is about you letting go of your hurt feelings.
EditMoving on After a Breakup - Use mindfulness to help you focus on the present, not the past. Being mindful helps you ground yourself in the present, which helps you stop thinking about your past. To be more in the present, engage your 5 senses and describe your surroundings. Additionally, meditate for at least 10 minutes a day to help you stay grounded in the moment.[5]
- For a simple meditation, sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. If you want a guided meditation, try an app like Calm, Insight Timer, or Headspace.
- Focus your energy on yourself, not your ex. After a breakup, it's natural to want to talk about your ex's bad qualities, and you may be curious about what they're doing now. However, any time that you spend thinking or talking about your ex is time that's stolen from yourself. Don't let your ex take any more of your energy than they already have. Instead, spend your time and energy building a life you want.
- At first, it's good to vent to friends about how your ex hurt you. However, don't keep coming back to this topic. If you find yourself bringing up your ex while you're trying to move on, switch the topic to something good that's happening in your life. You might say, "That's enough about Ted. Did I tell you I started taking an art class?"
- Pursue hobbies and interests you've always wanted to try. Typically, relationships take away some of your independence and part of your identity. Being single lets you focus on what you want, as well as living your best life. Spend time every day doing at least 1 thing that helps you pursue a hobby, goal, or interest. For example, you might do the following:
- Take a class.
- Join a meetup.
- Learn to play an instrument.
- Spend more time with your friends.
- Travel to a place you've always wanted to go.
- Pursue a dream you've always had.
- Do things your way without worrying what others think. One of the best parts of being single is not having to answer to anyone. You can wear what you like, keep your room how you like, and go and do what you like. Forget about the things your partner liked and try to do things as you like to do them.
- For instance, let's say your ex liked long hair but you've been wanting a fresh style. You might go get a haircut. Similarly, if your ex hated Italian food but you love spaghetti, go get some pasta.
- If you lived with your ex and they liked doing laundry a certain way, ignore their rules and just do what makes you happy.
- Start dating again when you're ready to make a connection. When your heart feels ready to love again, begin the process of finding a new partner. Focus on meeting people who spark your interest, not on finding your soul mate. Then, get to know the people you meet and let a natural connection blossom.
- Don't try to recapture what you had with your ex. It takes time for a relationship to grow, and each relationship is different.
- If you find yourself comparing new people to your ex, you might want to wait a little while longer before you start dating.
- Being in a relationship makes you feel a rush of dopamine, which is a feel good hormone. That means that a breakup can cause you to feel actual withdrawals. As painful as this is, the best way to get over them is to avoid your ex.
- If you're struggling to deal with your emotions and move on, it's best to talk to a therapist. They can help you process your emotions and start moving on.
EditReferences
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| How to Clean a Grill Posted: 06 Jul 2019 09:00 AM PDT Keeping your grill clean is essential to ensuring its longevity and making sure that you cook delicious food. Whether your grill is charcoal, gas, or electric, it needs to be cleaned after every use to remove bacteria and food particles that stick to the surface. Luckily, it's easy to get a grill cleaned and ready for barbecue season. EditScraping Cooking Surfaces on a Gas Grill - Turn the grill on the highest heat setting for 10-15 minutes. Remove any pans or foil from the grill surface and close the hood. Turn your burners on and leave your grill alone to burn off any larger pieces of food residue and make the initial cleaning easier.[1]
- You can choose to wear rubber gloves while cleaning your grill if you want to keep your hands completely clean, but they aren't necessary.
- Shut off the gas source and scrub the grate. Turn the heat off and shut off your propane or natural gas by closing the valve. Use a grill brush or plastic scraper to remove initial layers of residue by scrubbing vertically along the cooking grid in aggressive up-and-down strokes. Let the grill cool.[2]
- Don't touch the grill directly until you've let it cool for 20-30 minutes after you've cleaned it.
- The cooking grid, or grate, is the metal surface where you place your food when you're grilling.
- Scrape the roof of your lid with a plastic scraper. With the lid of your grill raised, use your plastic scraper to scrub the residue off of the roof of your grill. Scrub away from you so that you don't hurt yourself if the scraper slips. Let all of the debris, grime, and dirt fall to the bottom of the lifted lid.[3]
- Use the hose on a vacuum to remove the debris and residue. After you've scraped the roof of your grill, there will be a lot of dirt and grime piled up at the bottom of your lifted lid. Turn a vacuum on to the highest suction setting and use the vacuum's hose to remove larger pieces from the bottom of your lid. Wipe the roof of the lid with a damp cloth.[4]
- Vacuuming the residue from the bottom of your lid will keep it from falling into the body of the grill when you close your lid.
- Remove the grill base to dump out old ash and residue. Take your grates out and set them aside. Depending on the brand and style of your grill, the base can either be removed by reaching in the grill and lifting it out, or by sliding a tray out of the side of the grill. You may need to disassemble your burners by unscrewing each gas line where it attaches to the body before you can get your base out. Once removed, dump the ash and residue into a non-combustible trash receptacle. Set the grill base aside.[5]
- Make sure that you aren't dumping any hot materials into the garbage. Wait for your grill to cool before doing this if it's still hot.
EditScrubbing the Interior Body of a Gas Grill - Scrub the interior body of your grill with a scraper and nylon brush. Scrape large, flat sections of your grill's interior with your scraper. Depending on your grill, your burners may still be attached. If they are, scrub over them in the same direction as the gas slits with a nylon scrub brush. After you've scraped flat surfaces, scrub each exposed area with your nylon brush in aggressive back-and-forth strokes.[6]
- If you scrub your burners perpendicular to the slits, you could accidentally knock debris into the holes.
- If your grill has burner covers, leave them on. They're there to protect your burners and keep sensitive parts from getting damaged. They also keep grease and dirt off of the burners, so you won't need to scrub them anyway.
- Empty your grease pan or bottom tray and wipe it. At the very bottom of your grill's body, there will be a removable pan or tray that is designed to catch debris, residue, or grease. Once you've scraped the body of the grill, remove the grease pan or bottom tray and empty it in a noncombustible trash bin. Wipe the tray or pan down with a warm, damp cloth and let it air dry before returning it.[7]
- Use steel wool and warm water to scrub down the heat deflector. Some grills have a heat deflector at the bottom of the exhaust or burner system that deflects heat away from the grill. It's usually a flat piece of thin metal with a ridge in the middle, and they usually have thin slits across them to let excess heat out. Lift this piece out if you have one and soak it in warm water before aggressively scrubbing it with steel wool.[8]
- This part doesn't really need to look like new when you're done, since it doesn't influence the flavor of food.
- Vacuum the inside and wipe down all exterior surfaces with a damp cloth. Use a vacuum with a hose to pull out any remaining debris or residue that you've scraped off from the inside of the grill. Once the interior surfaces of your grill have been cleaned, you can wipe down the outside of the grill with a damp microfiber cloth. Rinse your cloth in warm water and then wring it out before wiping down the exterior of your grill in soft circular motions. Cover each portion of the grill to lift up any grime and remove any food stains.[9]
- Put your grill cover over the grill after you're done to protect it from the elements.
EditMaintaining a Charcoal Grill - Light a fire in your charcoal grill and let it burn. Let your fire run for 10-15 minutes. This will burn off any residue or grime that hasn't been heated yet. Let your fire burn out and wait for your grill to cool before removing the lid.[10]
- Depending on how much charcoal you're using, it could take a few hours for your grill to cool.
- Wipe the lid down with a sponge and dish soap. Use a well-soaped sponge and warm water to scrub the roof of your lid. Scrub hard in a circular motion and cover each part of the lid twice. Rinse your lid in warm water and dry it with a clean cloth.[11]
- Most charcoal grill lids are coated in an enamel that make it easy to clean. If your grill's lid is difficult to clean, it may be a sign that you need a new grill.
- Scrub the grill grates aggressively with a grill brush. Scrape vertically, going parallel to the cooking grid. You may need to scrape 4-5 times along each section of the grid to fully remove and food residue or charcoal dust. Flip your grill grates over and scrape the bottom of the grates as well. Rinse them under cold water when you're done.[12]
- If you have a lot of residue that you're struggling to remove, you can add dish soap to the tips of your grill brush. You'll have to rinse the grates multiple times afterwards though to ensure that you don't get any soap residue on your food in the future.
- Empty your coals and wash the inside bowl. Put on a pair of rubber gloves. Dump out the charcoal ashes into a nonflammable trash receptacle. Use a steel wool pad to scrape the inside of your charcoal grill's bowl. Scrape aggressively in back-and-forth strokes until all of the gunk and grease is removed. Rinse it with a wet sponge and pat them dry with paper towels or a clean rag.[13]
- Cover your grill when you're done.
EditCleaning an Indoor Electric Grill - Unplug the grill and wait for it to cool. It's best to clean an electric grill after you've recently used it. Before you do start the cleaning process, unplug the grill and let it cool for 1-1.5 hours. Remove the electronic thermostat and set it aside while you're waiting for it to cool.[14]
- Hand wipe the thermostat with a microfiber cloth or paper towel. You don't want to get any electric components of the thermostat wet, so use a dry cloth or towel.
- Remove the grill's heating surface and dishwash it if you can. Some electronic grills have a removable heating plate. If you can remove your heating plate, take it out and dishwash it with normal detergent. If you don't have a dishwasher, you can scrub it with a sponge and dish soap before rinsing it. Let the heating surface air dry.[15]
- Wipe the heating surface with dish soap if it can't be removed. If you can't take the heating surface of the grill off, take a sponge and add a drop of dish soap. Run the sponge through warm water and wring it out. Scrub the heating surface with your sponge by scrubbing in gentle, circular motions. Run your sponge through warm water again and wring it out repeatedly until the soap is removed. Scrub your heating surface a second time.[16]
- You may need to rinse the sponge multiple times to get the soap out, and the surface may need to be scrubbed more than once to remove grime or dirt.
- Clean the body of the grill with a sponge or microfiber cloth. Run a sponge or cloth under warm water and wring it out. Run your sponge and cloth along the exterior surfaces of the grill. Clean in circular motions so that you don't leave water stains. Dry the body of the grill with paper towels or a dry cloth.[17]
- Use a chemical cleaner if you want to remove discoloration. Put on rubber gloves and preheat your grill to . Combine of hot water and of commercial chemical grill cleaner in a bowl. Pour the solution over the heating surface and scrub with a wire brush that has a long handle. Scrub quickly and aggressively until the discoloration is removed. Rinse the heating surface with dish soap and warm water before letting it air dry.[18]
- Wipe the surface of your grill with cooking oil. Let your grill cool for 30-45 minutes. After using a chemical cleaner to remove discoloration, wipe the surface of your grill with a dollop of cooking oil and a paper towel. This will ensure that your grill doesn't discolor in the future.[19]
- Be sure your grill is at least away from your house and other flammable materials.
- Do not grill in an enclosed space.
- Use caution around flames. Do not use gasoline or kerosene to start fires. These are not adequate (or safe) substitutions for lighter fluid.
EditThings You'll Need EditScraping Cooking Surfaces on a Gas Grill - Grill brush
- Nylon scrub brush
- Plastic scraper
- Microfiber cloth
- Vacuum with hose
EditScrubbing the Interior Body of a Gas Grill - Plastic scraper
- Nylon scrub brush
- Steel wool
- Microfiber cloth
EditMaintaining a Charcoal Grill - Grill brush
- Bucket
- Soap
- Sponge
- Steel wool
- Rubber gloves
- Paper towels or rag
EditCleaning an Indoor Electric Grill - Microfiber cloth
- Sponge
- Dish soap
- Measuring cup
- Chemical cleaner
- Wire brush with handle
EditReferences EditQuick Summary
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| How to Make The Most of Your Commute Posted: 06 Jul 2019 01:00 AM PDT Commuting to work or school doesn't have to be a boring, frustrating experience. Instead of viewing your commute as wasted time on a train or bus, use it as an opportunity to be more productive or to do something you enjoy. Read a book, catch up on your favorite podcasts, reply to emails, or simply zen out. There are lots of ways you can transform your non-driving commute into a valuable part of your day. EditIncreasing Your Productivity - Make to-do lists and write out your goals to get ready for the day. Instead of spending your first hour at work preparing for the day, get ready beforehand. Make lists for what you need to do for work or for school; you could even make lists for things you need to accomplish at home.[1]
- This can be done in the morning for the upcoming day or in the evening for the following day.
- If you're driving, use voice-to-text to create a list on your phone.
- Reply to emails and clean out your inbox so there are no notifications. Messages, emails, and work-related apps can constantly pull at your attention throughout the day. Designate your commute time to dealing with these notifications so that when you're at work, you can truly concentrate on the tasks at hand.[2]
- Practice speeches, presentations, and pitches while you're on the go. Instead of spending valuable evening hours at home practicing for a big presentation, use your commute time to read over your notes, memorize lines, and do any additional research that needs to be done. If you're in your car, you can even practice your speech out loud without fear of others listening to you.[3]
- Reviewing your notes before a meeting can also help you feel less anxious because you'll feel more prepared.
- Listen to webinars or watch videos that relate to your field. Take this commute time to learn more about what others in your field are talking about, whether that's finance, science, PR, marketing, education, or any other field. You could learn something really cool that you can implement at your own job.[4]
- Even if you just watch videos about motivation, productivity, or passion, chances are you'll end up feeling more energized for work and ready to be productive.
- Learn a new language to become a more valuable asset at work. Even if your job doesn't require you to speak multiple languages, having that ability could really open up more doors for you down the road. Pick a language you're interested in, download some language-learning software, and start learning![5]
- There are some great apps, like Duolingo and Babbel, that make learning a new language interactive and fun.
- Meditate to clear your mind and deal with work-related stress. It may seem counterintuitive to productivity to just sit and be still, but taking some time out to reflect and meditate will actually help make you more productive in the long run. If you're using public transportation, you could even close your eyes to focus more.[6]
- If you are new to meditating, try setting a timer on your phone for 5 or 10 minutes. Once the time is up, move on to another productivity task.
- There are some great meditation apps you can download to your smartphone. Try Headspace, Calm, 10% Happier, or Insight Timer. A lot of these are free and include additional in-app purchases.
EditDoing Something You Enjoy - Listen to an audiobook if you wish you had more time for reading. There are lots of great apps (like Audible and Libby) that you can download on your phone that will allow you to listen to audible copies of your favorite books. Simply put in your earphones and relax while you listen to your book.[7]
- If you take public transportation, you could also read a digital or physical book if you prefer that to audiobooks.
- Download podcasts to enjoy while you're traveling to and from work. There are thousands of podcasts you can listen to from every category you could ever want. From true crime to current events to fitness, finance, and humor, you can learn something new every day.[8]
- Browse the top charts to see which podcasts are most popular at the moment. This is a great way to find shows that are well-produced and well-reviewed.
- Downloading a podcast rather than streaming it means you'll be able to listen to the episode even when you have spotty service.
- Read the news to stay on top of current and popular events. Pick up a copy of a physical newspaper, or browse your favorite news apps on your phone. If you're driving, you could even listen to a podcast that recaps the most important news from the day, like "The Daily" from the New York Times or "Up First" from NPR.[9]
- Twitter can also be a good source to find links to relevant news articles; just be careful to read from reliable sources and double-check your information if it seems sketchy.
- Create a playlist to get you pumped for the day. Pick your favorite jams or add new tunes to a playlist. Make multiple lists for different moods, like something to wake you up when you're tired or music for the ride home to help you calm down and relax.[10]
- If you use public transportation, make sure to wear headphones while you listen to your music so you don't bother other people.
- Call or video chat with friends and family to stay connected. Use your time commuting to catch up with the people you love. Use your headphones so that your commuting neighbors can't hear your whole conversation.[11]
- If you're driving yourself, don't use your actual phone to make the calls. Instead, use your car's speaker or Bluetooth system to stream the call through the speakers.
- Catch up on your favorite TV shows. If your phone has enough battery left and you have your headphones, there is no reason why you shouldn't watch some TV while you're commuting. This could also give you more time at home to enjoy other activities, like make dinner, see friends, or do a hobby.[12]
- Wind-down by playing a favorite video game or app on your phone. There are literally hundreds of games to download and enjoy on your phone, so the chances are pretty high that you can find one you love. Playing a game is a great way to mentally unwind from work. Simply download a game and follow the instructions to play.
- Games can use up a lot of battery power, so give your phone a good charge before you leave work for the day or bring a portable charger with you.
- Write in a journal to record your thoughts and feelings. Use your phone, laptop, or actual physical journal to make your notes. Get as creative as you want—you could write traditional journal entries, make lists, draw, or do anything else you desire.[13]
- This is a great way to relax after work and simultaneously process the things that have happened.
- Leave for work earlier so that you're not rushed. Traffic delays will seem less bothersome, or you might even have time to stop for some coffee or a morning treat.
- If you live close to work, try biking to the office when the weather is nice. You'll get in some exercise while also switching up your routine.
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