| How to Host an Autistic Friendly Family Gathering Posted: 20 Mar 2019 05:00 PM PDT Holidays, get-togethers, reunions, and other family get-togethers can be a source of great joy (and great stress). They can be especially tough for autistics, who may deal with social confusion, sensory overload, high demands, and other stressors. Here is how to make your get-together more inclusive, relaxed, and fun for your autistic relative(s). EditPreparing the Environment A casual, relaxed environment is likely to be calmer for everyone, and reduce stress on the autistic person. - Set up different rooms to focus on different activities. This allows guests to go from one room to another, based on what they want to do. You might put the toys in one room for the kids, food in one room for eating and socializing, a large group of chairs in another, and some puzzles/quiet activities and a few chairs in a side room for people to take breaks if needed.
- This will help the autistic person "escape" for a while if they become tired or overwhelmed.[1]
- Keep the noise level down. Loud noise is overwhelming for most people, especially autistics. If you have to raise your voice to speak, it's too loud.
- Keep the TV off, or very quiet. Turning on closed captions and keeping the volume low helps.
- Set aside an area for any children to do noisy play, such as outdoors or in the basement. If they're getting loud, ask them to choose between quieting down or going outside.
- Music should be quiet and relaxing, or nonexistent. (Try involving the autistic person in the playlist selection, so they can pick something familiar and calming.)
- Ensure that mealtime seating is flexible. An autistic person may feel more comfortable sitting in a corner, sitting next to a trusted family member, sitting at a side table, or sitting in a quieter space. Let there be options.
- Leave plates of appetizers sitting out so that people can grab some whenever they'd like.
- Let people take food into other rooms, if possible.
- Let people eat at different times if desired. This can be more relaxing than cramming everyone at one table.
EditPreparing for Different Needs - Check in with regards to the menu. Some autistic people have dietary needs that could influence what they can and can't eat. Ask the person (or their parent/guardian) if the menu you're planning sounds about right.[2] There should be at least one thing they know they are able to eat.
- Put spices on the side. This way, people can choose between no spice, some spice, or a lot of it.
- Buffets, such as build-your-own sandwich, can fit a variety of eaters.
- Some autistic people prefer simple foods, like plain macaroni and cheese, cheese pizza, crackers, pudding, and other "kid food."
- Encourage the person to get needed and wanted accommodations. Whatever helps keep them calm and happy will be beneficial to everyone. This could include:
- Wearing headphones
- Wearing a hoodie and putting up the hood
- Wearing comfortable clothes instead of fancy clothes[3]
- Bringing familiar activities, comfort objects, or toys
- Allow a shorter stay. Long social gatherings can be tough, and it's okay if the person needs to leave early, or take long breaks. Reassure the autistic person and their family that some or all of the family can leave early if needed and that there will be no hurt feelings.
- For an overnight trip, the autistic person may benefit from staying at a quiet hotel, where they can relax with only immediate family or on their own.
- Talk with the autistic person about what to expect (if applicable). Improvising in a social situation can be tricky, so it helps for the autistic person to rehearse and plan for an unexpected or difficult situation. Younger or higher-support autistics can benefit from social stories and extra prep.
- "If you get overwhelmed, you can go to Grandma's bedroom, where it will be quiet. There are some papers and colored pencils so you can draw there if you want."
- "Uncle Mort really likes hugs. If you don't want a hug, you can say 'I would prefer a handshake, please.'"
- "People will give gifts. Say 'Thank you,' even if you don't like it. If you don't like it, keep that secret, until we are back at home where you can tell me."
- Prep the autistic person for any rude family members, if needed. Dealing with impolite or nasty relatives is hard for everyone, but especially an autistic person, who may have fewer social skills and may make an easy target for nasty comments.
- "Aunt Jenny criticizes people because it makes her feel better about herself. It's not fair, and it's not right. It's just what she does. So if she says anything about you, remember that she's just saying it because she doesn't know better."
- "I know Grandpa is mean sometimes. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything to deserve it."
- "Sometimes Uncle Roberto says mean things when he's stressed. It can especially be hard for his daughter Ana. If he gets angry, you can leave the room by yourself, or invite Ana to go do a puzzle with you."
EditCreating a Relaxed Atmosphere - Talk to other family members as needed. Explain that the person's needs might be a little different and that they aren't trying to be "difficult" or "naughty." They're just autistic.
- "Emily gets upset easily. It's not on purpose, it's because holidays can be stressful, especially for autistic people. If you think she might need a break, encourage her to go outside for a short walk, or tell me so I can help her."
- "Kids, you may notice that Alex moves a little differently, and he doesn't talk much. Everyone is different, and that's okay. Alex really likes to play dinosaurs. Maybe you'd like to play dinosaurs with him?"
- "Dad, I know you think LeBron acts weird, and you don't like that he doesn't make eye contact. That's normal and healthy for autism. I need you to be kind and supportive towards him so that I can feel good about having him come visit you."
- Make hugs and kisses optional. Depending on their sensory needs and mood, the autistic person may not want to be touched. During hellos and goodbyes, say that if someone doesn't want hugs/kisses, they could do a handshake, high five, or just wave goodbye instead.
- Encourage other relatives to go along with it. Explain that you're trying to teach the kids and/or the autistic person that they get to choose who touches them on their own terms.
- Be flexible with everyone. Different people have different needs, autistic or not. Be willing to make adjustments so that everyone can be comfortable and have the most amount of fun they can.
- Allow small group and one-on-one discussions to break off. Socializing in smaller groups can be less stressful for autistics (along with introverts and shy people).[4] Let it move organically and allow people to separate from the main group as needed.
- Step in if you notice things getting heated. Conflict is stressful for everyone. Autistic people especially can find it distressing, and may not have the social skills to de-escalate it or take care of themselves.
- Remind others not to raise their voices.[5]
- Try changing the subject.[6]
EditSupporting the Person - Keep conversations relaxed with the autistic person. If you chat with the autistic person, try asking about their interests. Talking with an autistic person isn't incredibly different from talking to a non-autistic person.
- Expect different body language, like fidgeting and lack of eye contact. This is normal.
- Keep it age-appropriate. A nonspeaking 12-year-old is still a 12-year-old and is unlikely to appreciate baby talk.
- Don't be scared! Autistic people are still people.
- Accept unusual behavior. It's natural for autistic people to be a little odd, and it doesn't have to be a big deal. For autistics, natural behavior includes:
- Not making eye contact
- Fidgeting and wiggling
- Being quite honest (sometimes a little too honest)
- Taking things literally
- Struggling to deal with frustration, and needing more breaks
- Respect boundaries. The person may not be up for talking, hugging, kissing, et cetera, depending on their mood and individual needs. Don't push them. Let them do what keeps them comfortable.[7]
- Check in if the person looks stressed. It's helpful to ask how they're doing from time to time, and offer an escape if they look overwhelmed. Reassuring them that they can take a break makes it easier on them.
- "Want to go take a break in my bedroom? There are some coloring books in there you could color in."
- "Would you like to come with me in the car to go pick up the pizzas? It would be just you and me."
- "Angie, you look overwhelmed. Let's go for a short walk and smell the fresh air, just you and me."
- Let them enjoy the gathering in their own way. Maybe it means sitting under tables, rocking back and forth, or eating crackers instead of the fancy food you arranged. That's okay. What's most important is that everyone has fun.
- If the person has major dietary restrictions, they or their family could bring suitable food if that makes it easier.
- Encourage people to respect the autistic person's right to privacy. Publicly discussing the autistic person's issues is embarrassing (even if the autistic person can't or doesn't say so). If people start talking about their intimate personal details, say "Let's respect ____'s privacy" and change the subject.
- For gift-giving, try asking the person's family what they like, or having the person list some ideas. Knowing the person's special interests, and popular gifts for autistics,[8] helps.
- If young children will be around, place dangerous or breakable items out of reach.
- Don't push a distressed autistic person even harder. This will likely just lead to a meltdown or shutdown.
- Now is a bad time to over-challenge the autistic person because the environment itself is likely going to be challenging. Avoid criticizing, over-correcting, pushing too hard, and trying to make the person handle even more (such as entering an overwhelming social situation, or trying a new food they didn't say they wanted to try).
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| How to Care for Hummingbirds Posted: 20 Mar 2019 09:00 AM PDT Hummingbirds are fascinating little creatures that may need your help from time to time! Many people enjoy feeding hummingbirds, and you can do the same by offering homemade sugar water in the hummingbird feeder. While this water won't provide the nutrients the hummingbird needs, it does give them the energy to look for other plants, such as the flowers you've planted in your backyard for them. If you find injured or stunned hummingbirds, including, you can also take steps to help, though you should call a wildlife rehabilitator for professional guidance. EditFeeding Hummingbirds - Make a 1-to-4 ratio of sugar syrup. The mixture should be 1 part sugar to 4 parts water. Boil the water in a pan you've rinsed thoroughly to make sure there's no soap left. When it's cool enough to measure, measure out the amount of water you need. Add the sugar to the warm water and stir until it completely dissolves. Let the mixture cool completely.[1]
- For instance, boil a little over of water (to account for evaporation). Measure it out, and then add 1 cup (225 grams) of sugar to the water.
- Only use white cane sugar. Don't use brown sugar, turbinado sugar, honey, or artificial sweeteners, as these are toxic for hummingbirds. Use spring water if you can, but you can also use tap.[2]
- Pour the mixture into the feeder and put it outside. Change the mixture every 1-2 days. Store any extra sugar water in the refrigerator, and it will stay good for about a week or so. It's bad when it starts to go cloudy.[3]
- When you change out the mixture, rinse it out thoroughly before adding more solution to the feeder.
- Put the feeder in a shady area away from predators. If you leave the food in the sun, it will ferment faster. Fermented sugar is bad for the hummingbirds. In the shade, it can last 1-2 days before going bad in the summer, but in the sun, it may go bad in a couple of hours.[4]
- Also, place the feeder out of reach of animals like cats, which are natural predators of the hummingbird. Try to place the feeder at least off the ground.[5]
- Clean the feeder at least once a week with mild soap and warm water. Take the feeder apart. Pour in warm water and a dash of dishwashing soap. Use a sponge or scrubber to clean out the inside, and then rinse it thoroughly. Make sure to scrub out the nectar ports, too. You may need a small straw brush to get inside the ports.[6] It's even better if you can clean it every couple of days.[7]
- If you can't take the feeder apart, try to use a bottle brush to scrub the inside. Alternatively, pour water and soap in it. Shake it up and then rinse it out.
- If the feeder is moldy, clean it out with soap and water, then leave it in a solution of of bleach and of water for an hour or 2. Rinse it off when you're done.[8]
- Some of them can be put in the dishwasher, so check the bottom of yours to see if it says it's dishwasher safe.[9]
- Include a wide variety of flowers in your backyard for food. Hummingbirds will eat nectar from perennials, annuals, and biennials, so plant a diverse selection to help feed your friends. You can try hollyhock, geraniums, snapdragons, lantana, Indian paintbrush, bee balm, and/or impatiens.[10]
- You can plant flowers in the ground or in flowerpots; the hummingbirds won't care.
EditHelping a Hummingbird - Capture a hummingbird in your home or a building by making it dark. Turn off all the lights and close the curtains, which will make the hummingbird flutter down to the floor. Then you can use a flashlight to find it. Scoop it up with your hand to take it outside. Be gentle![11]
- If the room is bright, the hummingbird will try to fly upward.
- You can also hold a hummingbird feeder just outside the window but use a broom handle and hold it very still. The bird may head that way eventually.
- Put a stunned or injured bird in a small box. Poke holes in the top of the box so the hummingbird can breathe and put crumpled up tissue paper in the bottom. If you find a hummingbird on the ground, gently pick it up with your hand, trying to stay as close to the ground as you can to see if the bird decides to fly off. Cup your hands around it if you need to and gently place it in the box.[12]
- Set the box in a warm but not hot area. If you see the hummingbird stretching out its neck or opening its mouth to breathe, move it to a cooler spot.
- Offer sugar water to a stunned bird. Try offering it a little sugar water in an eyedropper. Hold it up to the bird and place a drop or 2 on its beak. Don't squeeze it out, as you could drown the bird.[13]
- If you don't have an eyedropper, try holding it up to a hummingbird feeder.
- Let the bird drink every 30 minutes or so but don't force it to drink.
- Call a wildlife rehabilitator if you think it's injured. If you see an obvious injury, then you should call right away. If a stunned bird without an obvious injury doesn't recover quickly within 1-2 hours, you should also call a wildlife rehabilitator to see what you should do.[14]
EditAssisting Hummingbird Babies - Return babies to the nest if they've fallen. Check the nest to see if it's been attacked by insects like ants or even a larger predator. If the nest seems okay, gently place the baby back in the nest. Watch the nest to make sure the mother returns to the baby.[15]
- If the nest isn't okay, put the baby in a small box or basket and put it near the nest. Watch to make sure the mother finds the baby.
- You can also move a nest back to a branch if it simply fell down.
- If the baby has been abandoned, move on to feeding it and calling a wildlife rehabilitator.
- Watch an abandoned nest for 1.5 hours before taking action. Most of the time, nests are not abandoned by the parents. You may just be missing the mother coming by to feed the babies. If you think a nest has been abandoned, don't take your eyes off of it for 1.5 hours, and if you don't see a parent, then you can take action.[16]
- If the birds make noise consistently for more than 10 minutes, they are likely abandoned and very hungry.
- Call a wildlife rehabilitator. You can find this information online or in your local yellow pages. Baby hummingbirds need specialized care, so you really need to turn them over to a trained professional.[17]
- As babies grow, they need to be fed a specialized diet of ground fruit flies, vitamins, enzymes, and oils. They require feeding every 20 minutes to stay healthy over a long period.[18]
- Offer sugar water to the babies every 30 minutes until you can get help. It's best to leave the babies alone if you can, but if they are crying out for food, you may need to offer something until help arrives. If the baby opens its mouth to be fed, you can drop in 3-5 drops of sugar water every 30 minutes. If you can't get the baby to feed this way, you need to get it to a wildlife rehabilitator as soon as possible.[19]
- Trained professionals will use a very small catheter to give the babies food.
- Don't try to bring the nest inside. Babies have trouble regulating temperature, and they may get too hot inside. If a baby is abandoned on the ground, the nest has been attacked, and the mother doesn't return, you can put the baby in a box like the one you'd use for an adult.[20]
EditThings You'll Need - Sugar water
- Hummingbird feeder
- Soap
- Scrubber
- Bleach, optional
- Small box
- Tissue paper
- Eyedropper or syringe
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| How to Dress for Spring Posted: 20 Mar 2019 01:00 AM PDT Spring represents renewal and rebirth. The warming weather revitalizes plant life, adding color to the drab outdoors. Dress yourself for the season by adding color and life back into your wardrobe. Start pulling out breezier materials that can keep you cool as the weather warms up. EditFinding Spring Fashions - Aim for bright colors and patterns to give your outfit some style. Light colors give a cheerful, happy, and fresh look to spring fashion. Dark colors, however, tend to feel like winter. Ditch the black and navy items and go for something yellow, blue, or green instead.
- Pastels are always a go to in spring fashion. Sea foam green, lilacs, and pale yellows add pop to any outfit.
- Imagine wearing the color at a picnic, or out on a walk in the garden, and ask yourself if the colors fit the scenery.
- Stock up on neutral colors. Spring is all about color, but you need a good stock of neutrals to match things with. Neutral tops also carry over well into other seasons, making them a worthwhile investment.
- Neutral colors include tan, gray, navy, white, and brown.
- Use white for a classy spring look. It can be dressed up with sweaters and accessories, or you can play it down as a casual piece by keeping it unadorned.
- Dress in layers. Spring is characterized by quickly changing temperatures, so be ready for whatever nature throws your way. Always bring a sweater, cardigan, light jacket, or pair of leggings handy -- it is always easy to take off layers if you get hot.
- Aim for lighter fabrics. The increasing heat means you need to ditch the heavy winter clothes for something more comfortable. While cotton is always popular, you have several other options for spring fashion as well.
- Tropical Wool
- Chiffon
- Linen
- Hemp
- Know that floral patterns are always in style during the spring. When the flowers come out, people love to see more flowers. Big floral dresses, shirts, and even pants are in style come March no matter where you live.
- Show a little more skin. As the weather gets better, more and more people start losing layers. Spring fashion takes advantage of this with exposed shoulders, shorts and skirts, and open back or v-necks. This will not only keep you cool, it will make you stand out on the street.
- Have rain gear ready. Spring is often the rainiest, wettest season of the year as spring rains come and old snow melts. Invest in an umbrella, have a light raincoat at the ready, and keep some rain boots at your front door. Even the best dressed spring reveler can have their outfit ruined by a surprising April shower.
- Wear blouses made of lighter fabrics. Light cottons work perfectly for most occasions. Nicer fabrics like chiffon work well for dressier occasions, and lightweight linen makes a nice choice for casual days.
- Look for "flowing" cuts. Blouses with a loose fit and "breezy" feeling pay homage to warmer weather, helping you look stylish and feel comfortable. Loose-fitting garments do not mean oversized or baggy, however.
- Look for printed tops. Delicate floral prints look especially nice and pay tribute to the blooming flowers outdoors. Many other prints may also work well, though. Look into polka dots, paisley, and navy stripes.
- Try a maxi-dress. If the weather is just starting to warm up, the maxi dress may help you regulate your body temperature. Breezy cuts and designs keep you from overheating, but the length of the skirt also prevents your legs from getting too cold.
- Wear a knee-length dress. Knee-length dresses are classic and flatter nearly any figure. This length also helps you to stay cool once the weather really starts getting warm.
- Look for bright colors and patterns. Think floral prints and pastel shades like buttercup yellow or sky blue.
- Consider a basic cotton polo. Choose a short-sleeve, tailored design in a light color. The polo shirt is a smart wardrobe piece for semi-professional dress and other occasions that require a little more structure in you apparel.
- Start stocking up on tank tops. You can layer them beneath other clothing while the weather is still cool, or wear them on their own if the temperature starts climbing early.
- Keep a supply of short sleeve t-shirts handy. Fitted t-shirts are incredibly versatile. Wear them on days you feel like being casual, or dress them on days you feel like being more stylish.
- Try a shirt tunic. A tunic is a loose-fitting garment that comes down to your mid-thigh. They are often made of cotton or some other lightweight material, making them perfect for spring weather. Choose one with short sleeves or three-quarter-length sleeves to keep yourself feeling cool.
- Keep a light wind-breaker. Wind-breaker jackets are remarkably helpful during the first month or two of the season. They block out the chilly breezes of early spring, and also protect you from light rain. Just make sure you choose one with a hood.
- Consider a stylish trench coat. Trench coats are lightweight, making them suitable for spring weather. The belt that wraps around the waist of the coat flatters a range of figures, and trench coats that come in fun colors and patterns can give your outerwear personality.
- Pull out your raincoat. After all, springtime is known for its showers. A trench coat or wind-breaker may protect you from light sprinkles, but a raincoat is essential for stormy days.
- Stock up on cardigans. Lightweight, fitted cardigans are a nice way to dress up your top while keeping you warm and comfortable. Whites, creams, and pastel colors maintain a delicate, springtime image.
- Think denim. Look for a fitted denim jacket without any interior insulation. The material is already heavy enough to keep you warm on chillier days, and may even prove too heavy once the weather starts warming up.
- Break out the skirts. All the skirts you kept hidden during winter can finally return to their rightful place in your wardrobe. Flouncy A-line skirts in floral patterns work especially well, but many other styles are also suitable.
- Start wearing capri pants. On some days, the weather may feel too warm for long pants yet too cold for shorts. Capri pants bridge the gap by covering the majority of your leg, while exposing just enough to cool you down.
- Wear long pants made of lighter materials. A pair of linen cargo pants can be both practical and stylish. These sorts of pants typically work best in casual settings, but you may be able to find a few that can be used for dressier occasions, as well.
- Don't forget your jeans. Jeans are a style staple for any season. Light and medium washes freshen things up for spring, but you can pull out your favorite dark wash jeans, too.
- Look for a comfortable pair of shorts. Toward the end of the season, the weather may get too hot even for capri pants. A good pair of shorts is essential for days like this. Consider tailored style dress shorts, like Bermudas, that stop just short of the knee.
- Stock up on flats. Flats can be decorative or simple, and work well with both casual and semi-dressy outfits. They also expose the top of your foot, keeping your foot cool without exposing your toes.
- Pull out your dressy sandals. For nice occasions, consider throwing on that pair of kitten heel sandals you put away for the winter. The warming temperatures bring sandals back into fashion.
- Don a pair of walking sandals. For casual days, a sturdy pair of leather walking sandals looks appropriate and keeps your foot feeling cool.
- Keep a pair of casual white sneakers. Choose a simple slip-on or lace style shoe. These are good to have for everyday use and running errands. White, as opposed to black, navy, or darker colors, works especially well for spring.
- Try an open-toe heel. While not quite as freeing as the heeled sandal, an open-toe heel also pays homage to the warming weather by exposing a part of your foot you would likely keep hidden during winter.
- Consider a pair of galoshes or other rain boots. You can wear nearly any footwear for light drizzles, but you might want something more water-resistant for downpours.
EditAccessories - Buy a cute umbrella. Nothing says you have to lug around a boring, drab umbrella with you on rainy days. Treat your umbrella like an accessory buy choosing one with a fun print or in an unusual shape.
- Get your sunglasses ready. Once the rainy months clear up, prepare yourself for sun. A trendy pair of sunglasses keeps you looking stylish while protecting your eyes from harmful rays.
- Tie a belt around your waist. If you stock your wardrobe up with tunics and other loose-fit blouses, add figure-flattering structure by wrapping a sash or skinny belt around your natural waist.
- Look for light, cool hats. Think lightweight cotton and straw. Look for cute caps, or hats with a wide brim that can block the sunlight.
- Wear colorful jewelry. Introduce a splash of springtime color into blander outfits by wearing bright necklaces, bracelets, earrings, and rings.
- Buy some nature-inspired jewelry. Look for pendants and charms shaped like flowers, leaves, and feathers. Spring is when nature starts returning to life. Acknowledge this fact by choosing jewelry pieces with a nature theme.
- Keep a pair of leggings for colder days. For chilly days during the early spring, you may want to wear a pair of leggings beneath your A-line skirt or dress to prevent your legs from getting chilly. Leggings also work well beneath many longer tunic shirts.
- Dress according to the weather. If temperatures are still cold, wear long sleeves or layer your short sleeve pieces with sweaters and jackets. If temperatures get hot early, do not be afraid to break out summer wardrobe pieces early. The versatility of spring fashions is one of the season's pluses.
- Head bands are a cute way to stop your hair from getting frizzy or wet with sweat.
EditThings You'll Need - Blouses
- Tunics
- T-shirts
- Tank tops
- Jackets
- Sweaters
- Capri pants
- Shorts
- Long pants
- Skirts
- Dresses
- Hats
- Leggings
- Jewelry
- Belts
- Umbrella
- Sunglasses
- rain boots
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