| How to Not Care What Others Think of You Posted: 07 Sep 2018 05:00 PM PDT While it's natural to be concerned about what others think of you, worrying about it too much can leave you feeling overwhelmed and anxious, and make it hard for you to be yourself. If you find yourself frequently feeling upset or worried about what people around you are thinking, try focusing on loving yourself. Retrain your mind to hone in on what's most important at the moment, rather than on what others might be thinking or saying. Finally, learn to use constructive criticism in a healthy way, and filter out criticism that's unhelpful or overly harsh. EditBuilding Your Self-Confidence - Make a list of your strengths and accomplishments. Realizing that your self-worth comes from within is an important part of learning not to care what others think. One way to boost your confidence and get a better sense of your self-worth is to list positive characteristics about yourself.[1]
- Your strengths could be personality traits (e.g., kindness and patience) or skills that you have (such as being a good cook or a careful driver). Accomplishments might include things like making good grades, finishing a project, or getting a promotion at work.
- If you're having a hard time thinking of things to put on the list, ask a supportive friend or relative to help you. You could also take the VIA character strengths survey online to focus on what gives you good character.
- Replace negative thoughts with more realistic ones. If you're used to dwelling on the negative or taking every harsh criticism to heart, it can be hard to retrain yourself to think positively. When you notice your inner voice getting negative, stop and assess those thoughts. Do they really make sense? If not, replace the negative thought with something more neutral and realistic.[2]
- For example, if you find yourself thinking, "Everyone is going to hate me at my new school," instead tell yourself, "Probably not everyone is going to like me, and that's okay. Nobody can please everyone. If I make an effort to be kind and friendly, I'll likely find people I get along with."
- Learn to accept the weaknesses you have so you can improve on them.
- Commit to improving on your weaknesses. All people have flaws, and that's okay. Acknowledging your weak areas is an important part of personal growth. If you identify flaws in yourself, look upon them as an opportunity to better yourself, rather than dwelling on what's "wrong" with you or what others will think. Taking action to improve will help you feel better about yourself and less worried about others' perceptions of you.
- For example, if you are out of shape and this bothers you, set some attainable fitness goals, even if they're small at first. You might start by planning to walk 30 minutes a day, 3 times a week.
- Practice kindness for its own sake. Focusing more on others—rather than yourself—can ultimately help you feel better about yourself. Make an effort to be kind and considerate to others every day, without worrying about pleasing people or being repaid for your kindness. You'll feel good, and even if others don't thank you or judge you unfairly, you'll know that you did the right thing.[3]
- Try incorporating a few acts of kindness into your daily routine, even if they're small things like holding a door open or complimenting someone on their outfit.
- Establish appropriate boundaries with others. While it's important to be kind to others, that doesn't mean you should allow them to take advantage of you or mistreat you. If you're not used to setting boundaries, it can be difficult at first. Ultimately, however, you'll feel much better about yourself and more secure in your relationships with others once you've set some firm limits.[4]
- Remember that it's okay to say "no" sometimes.
- Be clear and direct with others about what your boundaries are and let them know what the consequences will be if those boundaries are violated. For example, "Mom, I'll have to stop inviting you over if you're going to argue with me about how I'm raising my son every time you visit."
- You may encounter disappointment, anger, or resistance at first, especially if other people in your life aren't used to you enforcing boundaries. However, people who really care about you should respect your boundaries, even if they aren't happy with them.
- If someone consistently refuses to respect your boundaries, you may need to limit contact with that person.
EditRe-Focusing Your Attention - Specify what you're worried about. Fears about what other people think of you can feel unmanageable if they're big and vague. Try to hone in on what it is that you're really worried about. This will not only help your anxieties feel less overwhelming, but will also get you closer to developing a strategy for dealing with them.[5]
- For example, you may have a general fear of people judging you at work. Try to pinpoint your concerns more specifically. Are you afraid your boss doesn't think you're being productive enough? Are you worried that your coworker might be gossiping about you? Do you feel like you need more training or support at your job?
- Determine what's behind your specific fears. Once you've narrowed down what's bothering you, think about where that fear comes from. In some cases, you may find that your concerns are rational. It's also possible, however, that you're hung up on anxieties that you learned at some earlier point in your life. With a little reflection, you may decide those fears are unfounded.[6]
- For example, maybe you're worried that people at your job will judge you because you have tattoos. If you're in the kind of workplace where tattoos are considered inappropriate (such as a conservative law office), that might be a legitimate concern.
- If you have a job in an easy-going coffee shop where everyone wears body art, it's probably okay if you have tattoos. Ask yourself if your anxiety comes from some other source, such as things you heard from your parents growing up (e.g., "If you get a tattoo, nobody will trust you!").
- Practice mindfulness. Being mindful means being more aware of your surroundings, thoughts, and feelings at any given moment. Making an effort to be mindful can help you feel more grounded at the moment, rather than worrying about what might happen or what other people may be thinking.[7]
- If you find yourself worrying about what other people are thinking, gently steer your thoughts back to the here and now. Think about what you are doing, how you are feeling, and what you are trying to accomplish at that moment.
- Recognize your feelings and thoughts without judgment. Simply being more aware of what's going on in your head can help you recognize and manage your anxiety more easily.
- Try doing mindful meditation to help you get used to being mindful all the time. Look for mindful meditation apps or find guided meditation exercises online.
- Develop a strategy for dealing with worst-case scenarios. A lot of anxiety about what others are thinking comes from getting hung up on what might happen. You can help relieve some of these fears by coming up with a solution or a plan of action in case the worst does come to pass.[8]
- For example, maybe you keep thinking, "I'm going to mess up my part of this group project, and then the other students in my group will hate me." Ask yourself, "What would I do if I did mess up? What would help me feel better? How could I prevent it from happening again?"
- Even if the only solution you can think of is something simple, like "I would apologize for messing up," that's still a start. You will feel less helpless and anxious with even a basic plan in place.
- Distract yourself by taking action. One great way to take your mind off of what other people are thinking is to do something productive. Getting busy with an important task will keep you focused on what you are doing, rather than on how others are (or might be) judging you.[9] For example, you might:
- Finish a chore or project you've been putting off.
- Volunteer for a cause you support.
- Go out of your way to do something kind for someone (e.g., help a neighbor mow their lawn).
- Work on a hobby or creative project you enjoy.
- Spend some quality time with someone you care about.
EditDealing with Criticism - Listen to criticism with an open mind. Criticism is often painful, but you may find it easier to deal with if you think of it as an opportunity for growth and improvement rather than something hurtful or discouraging. If someone says something critical to you, listen actively before you get defensive. You may actually find what they have to say helpful. Before getting upset or rejecting the criticism, consider:[10]
- The source. Did the criticism come from someone generally supportive, whose opinions you respect?
- The content. Did the other person just say something vague or insulting (e.g., "You're a jerk!"), or did they actually make a specific point about your behavior and how it affects them (e.g., "When you come in late, I feel distracted and it disrupts my work.")?
- The delivery. Did the person attempt to be tactful and constructive with their criticism, or were they unnecessarily rude and harsh?
- Reject criticism and judgments you know are unfounded. Just because someone has something critical to say to or about you, that doesn't mean they're right. Weigh their words carefully, but remember that you don't always have to take other people's opinions to heart.[11]
- For example, if someone says that you're lazy, but you know you have been working as hard as you can, remind yourself of that. You might say to yourself, "I'm not lazy. I may not be able to do everything that they can do, but that's because everyone is different. I'm doing the best I can, and that's okay."
- Take the high road when others judge or criticize you. If someone says something harsh to or about you, you may be tempted to lash out or get even. This is unlikely to accomplish much, however. Even if you don't feel good about what they have to say, you'll feel better (and others will be impressed!) if you can turn the other cheek and react with kindness and civility.[12]
- Even if you don't agree with what the other person said, you can still respond in a way that validates the person (if not their words). For example, you might say, "Thanks for the advice. I'll think about that."
- If the other person was trying to be rude or unkind, a kind response might unnerve them and make them think about how they are behaving. Even if it doesn't, you'll still come out of the encounter as the bigger person.
- Acknowledge that others' perceptions of you come from them, not you. If someone says or thinks something unkind about you, that says more about them than it does about you. You cannot change what other people think of you—only they can do that. Remember that all you can do is work hard to be the best person you can be, and accept that you will never be able to please everyone.
- Spend time with supportive people. It's hard for anyone to feel good about themselves if they're surrounded by people who belittle them and bring them down all the time. If there is someone in your life who consistently puts you down, judges you, takes advantage of you, or violates your boundaries, you may need to cut ties with that person. Try to spend time with people who respect you and come from a place of love and support, even when they are being critical.
- If you're getting a lot of negativity from someone you can't avoid completely, like a coworker, try to minimize your time with that person as much as you can. Be civil or at least neutral when you have to be around them, but don't seek them out.
- Try to focus on the good in others. If you don't want other people judging you harshly, then do your best to offer them the same respect.
- Don't become arrogant. Not caring and being arrogant are two different things.
- Identify any irrational beliefs you have that are illogical. They can prevent you from reaching your goals and lead to self-destructive behavior.[13]
EditRelated wikiHows EditSources and Citations __
Cite error: <ref> tags exist, but no <references/> tag was found
|
| How to Wallpaper a Ceiling Posted: 07 Sep 2018 09:00 AM PDT Hanging wallpaper is a an easy, popular way to decorate your home. Typically, wallpaper is applied to the walls, but hanging wallpaper on the ceiling is growing more and more popular. You can wallpaper your ceiling to match the wallpaper on your walls, or you can wallpaper the ceiling exclusively to create a unique look. Apply paste to the back of your wallpaper for a secure hold, and smooth it onto the ceiling with a plastic applicator tool. Grab a friend to help, and you can easily wallpaper your ceiling. EditPreparing Your Ceiling and Wallpaper - Cover your floor with plastic drop cloths or dust covers. To protect your floors from any dust, debris, or paste, stretch a plastic covering across the floor. This way, there will be less cleanup when you are finished. If you have a ceiling fan or large light fixture, you can also gently wrap it in a plastic covering.[1]
- Scrape off any flaky paint and sand any rough areas of the ceiling. Put on safety goggles and use a ladder to reach the ceiling. Gently glide a paint scraper across your ceiling to get rid of any old, flaky remnants. If there are rough spots or uneven edges, use 80- to 120-grit sandpaper to smooth the surface.[2]
- This will depend on your particular ceiling. If your ceiling is smooth and clean, you may apply the wallpaper without any preparation.
- Measure your ceiling to determine how much wallpaper you need. Use a measuring tape to figure out the length and width of your room. Measure to the nearest inch or centimeter, then add about to account for the edges. Then, purchase wallpaper large enough to cover the measured area.[3]
- You can purchase your wallpaper on a roll. The rolls are usually in length.
- Cut the wallpaper to the size of your ceiling measurements. After purchasing wallpaper, use your measuring tape to indicate how many pieces you need to cut. Then, cut your wallpaper using a sharp pair of scissors.[4]
- It is okay if your measurements aren't perfect; however, always round up rather than round down. This way, you can trim off any extra, rather than having your wallpaper be too short.
EditMixing the Paste - Read the instructions on the mix-it-yourself wallpaper paste. To ensure a thorough hold, use wallpaper paste on your ceiling. Purchase mix-it-yourself paste from a home supply store. Then, read through the directions thoroughly so you correctly apply your particular mix.[5]
- Mix the paste in a large bucket following the instructions. Each mix is slightly different, but in general, mix it with water following the outlined ratios. Then, use a paint mixer to blend the powder and water into a paste. Continue mixing the concoction until it is smooth and not runny.[6]
- It should take several minutes to thoroughly mix up the paste.
- Set up a table you can use to apply the wallpaper with paste. Place a folding table in the middle of the room, and put your pieces of wallpaper on top. Then, pour the paste into a paint tray.[7]
EditHanging the Wallpaper - Apply the paste to your wallpaper from the middle to the sides. For a thorough application, paint the paste onto the wallpaper with a brush or a paint roller. Use a generous, even coat of paste so your wallpaper sticks securely.
- Starting from the middle helps spread the paste across the paper, so it does not get too concentrated in the center.
- Move the sheet closer to the ceiling by bringing the wet sides together. To transport your sheet of wallpaper to the ceiling, it is best to face both paste sides together, rather than bringing 1 side with paste to the opposite side. To do this, hold 1 side of the wallpaper and have a friend hold the other side. Then, move the sheet slowly toward the center. Ensure the paste is facing upwards when you do this.[8]
- If you have a very long strip of wallpaper, you can alternate your folds in order to neatly condense the whole strip.
- Start at the widest part of your ceiling. This makes it easier hang the wallpaper. Place the first wallpaper sheet approximately in the center of your ceiling. This way, you are covering the widest part if your room starts to taper or change in size. To do this, use a ladder to help you reach the ceiling.[9]
- While this is recommended, it is not required.
- Stick the edge of the wallpaper, where your ceiling meets the wall. Ensure the wallpaper is paste-side up, and line up the edge of the wallpaper to the edge of your ceiling. Use your hand to smooth over the center.[10]
- In addition to your hand, you can use a plastic applicator to smooth the wallpaper into place.
- Make a cut in the wallpaper if you are hanging it around fixtures. Before you secure all of the wallpaper to the ceiling, stop right before you reach a fixture, like a light fixture. Use your scissors to cut around the fixture so the wallpaper is the appropriate size. If cutting in a circle, you can make small snips vertically in a circle every , then cut them all off with 1 horizontal snip. Then, continue to smooth the rest of the wallpaper across your ceiling.[11]
- Be careful when cutting around the fixture. You don't want to hurt yourself or damage the fixture.
- Rub your plastic applicator over the wallpaper. This helps to adhere it to the ceiling. After the majority of the wallpaper is in place, use a plastic squeegee-like tool to smooth over the sides. Start in the center and run the applicator over top of each side.[12]
- Ensure there are no bubbles or uneven spots as you do this.
- You can also use your hands to smooth the wallpaper.
- Use scissors to trim the edges where it overlaps with the walls. Do this as you hang each piece of wallpaper to avoid the paper peeling off by its own weight. In addition, go around the edges of each sheet and trim off any extra paper from the sides.[13]
- With a sharp pair of scissors, make your cuts as close to the wall as you can.
- Continue applying the pieces of wallpaper, until your ceiling is covered. After you put the first piece into place, hang the next piece of wallpaper immediately next to it. If your wallpaper is patterned, ensure you match the pattern of each piece before you adhere it. If your wallpaper is plain, it's okay if each piece overlaps slightly.[14]
- To hang the next piece, cover the wallpaper in an even layer of paste, and secure it to the ceiling using a plastic applicator.
- If the wallpaper is loose, apply more paste and smooth it into place.
- Go over the wallpaper seams with a seam roller. This will ensure it adheres properly. A seam roller is a small plastic rolling device that works great to go over fine lines of wallpaper jobs. After all of your wallpaper is in place, use a seam roller to smooth over each intersection of wallpaper sheets.
- This way, the edges do not peel off as the paper dries.
- In addition, you can use a paint roller to smooth over all of the wallpaper on your ceiling. Start in the middle, and make sure you get all of the edges.
EditThings You'll Need - Wallpaper
- Measuring tape
- Mix-it-yourself wallpaper paste
- Seam roller
- Ladder
- Friend
- Paint scraper
- Plastic applicator
- Scissors
- Paintbrush
- Paint roller
- Wear clothes that you don't mind getting a little dirty. You may get paste or debris on your outfit.
- It is best to have a second pair of hands to help you, it will be very difficult to hang the wallpaper by yourself. Having a friend or family member makes the job much easier.
EditRelated wikiHows EditSources and Citations
Cite error: <ref> tags exist, but no <references/> tag was found
|
| How to Introduce Yourself in Class Posted: 07 Sep 2018 01:00 AM PDT Introducing yourself in class, whether you are the student or the teacher, can feel daunting. Deciding what and how much to share, overcoming anxiety, and presenting yourself as an interesting and engaged person are steps that will help you introduce yourself with confidence, both in a physical classroom or in an online setting. EditGiving Your Introduction Speech - Stand up when it's your turn to introduce yourself. This will make you appear more confident and will help you speak more clearly than if you were to stay seated. It may feel awkward to stand up, but your introduction will be over more quickly than you think.[1]
- If you are sitting in the middle of the room, you may want to turn your head from side to side occasionally as you speak so you can address the entire class.
- Smile when you speak. Even if you are super nervous, smiling will make your voice sound calmer and will help you mask that nervousness. It also shows your classmates and your teacher that you are friendly and approachable. Also, smiling stimulates the production of endorphins, so you are helping yourself to feel a little happier, too![2]
- Scientific studies have shown that making yourself smile when publicly speaking endears others to you as they naturally will want to smile back.[3]
- Speak with confidence. Chances are that even if your voice is shaky, others won't notice that. You want everyone to be able to hear you, so when you introduce yourself, do so in a clear, loud voice. Don't mumble or stare down at the ground. It's perfectly okay to be nervous—lots of people are when speaking in front of others! But if you can take a steadying breath and project confidence, you'll be through your introduction before you know it.[4]
- Try practicing your introduction in a mirror to prepare yourself beforehand.
- A lot of the people in your class will be thinking about what they are going to say when it's their turn and may not even be watching you the entire time you're speaking.
- Give your name first. It's helpful to give your first name, pause, and then give your first and last name, like "Hello, my name is June, June Thompson." The repetition makes it more likely that others will remember your name.[5]
- If you prefer to go by a nickname, this is the time to give that detail. Say something like, "Hi, my name is Marcella, Marcella Smith, but I like to go by 'Marcie.'"
- Share why you are taking the class. If you're in a college course, you can share your intended major. Or if you're taking a class for a certification for a job, you could share what it is you do for work. For example, you could say, "Hi, I'm Mark, Mark Palmer. I'm an Economics major, and this class is helping me get a certification I need to graduate."[6]
- If you are only in the class because you have to be (like a general education course that all students are required to take), you don't need to say that—chances are a lot of other people are in the same boat.
- Offer personable details, like hobbies or interests you have. If you are involved in sports or have pets or like to travel, the end of your introduction is a good place to give this information. You could say something like, "When I'm not studying, I like to train for and run in half-marathons." This gives your classmates and teacher a memorable activity to tie to your name.[7]
- Avoid sharing overly personal details, like if you're going through a divorce or recently lost your job. Try to keep things positive and upbeat—you don't want your first impression to be negative or make other people uncomfortable.
EditWriting an Introduction for an Online Course - Add a photo if you haven't done so already. It's always nice to be able to put a face to a name, and in an online course the feeling of community has to form in a different way than in a traditional class. You can usually add a photo to your profile so it shows every time you post, or you could add an additional picture to your introduction post.[8]
- If you're uncomfortable with adding a photo for privacy reasons, that is okay! If it was a requested by your instructor, just send them an email about your reservations to let them know why you aren't adhering to their guidelines.
- Keep your tone friendly and professional. Because you're posting online, it can be tempting to slip into an informal way of "speaking" by using slang or loose grammar, so pay extra attention to your introduction post. Use full, complete sentences, proper grammar, and make sure to proofread before you hit "submit."[9]
- Try reading what you wrote out loud to hear how it sounds—this may help you reword or restructure your introduction for the best flow.
- Share personal and professional information. Include information about why you're in the class and about what you do during the rest of your time (either for work or for fun). For example, you could write "Hi, my name is Sharon Izzo, and I work during the day at a nursing home. When I'm not working or in class, I like to spend time with my spouse and our 3 rescue dogs."[10]
- You can also share what city you live in if you're comfortable with that—many students who are in online classes form study groups that either meet in person or online.
- Remember that less is more—your classmates will be less likely to read 5 paragraphs than they would 1 succinct paragraph.
- Respond to your classmates' posts. This is the best way to start building rapport with everyone. Reach out to others who live in the same area or who share the same interests as you. Chances are if you're in the same program, you might have multiple courses with them over the next 1 or 2 years.[11]
- Having an active presence in your online class will make your overall experience more gratifying, and it'll also help you engage more with the material.
EditIntroducing Yourself as a Teacher - Greet students and introduce yourself once everyone is seated. Include your name (what you would like them to address you by), your academic background, and your interests. You could say something like, "Good morning class, my name is John Smith, you can call me John or Professor Smith. I received my degree in Communications from XYZ College and my masters from ABC University. I just moved to the area recently and enjoy exploring downtown and going hiking with my dog, Bruce."[12]
- It's helpful to share details that students can identify with, but be wary of sharing overly personal information.
- This is also a time you could share any awards you have won, areas of study you are interested or involved in, publications, or boards you serve on. You want to establish as much credibility as possible.
- Smile and address the entire room as you speak. Be welcoming and warm, making sure to look around the room as you introduce yourself. If you are nervous, try looking above the heads of the students instead of making direct eye contact. Move your body and walk around the room if you feel comfortable.[13]
- Remember that your students see you as the person of authority in the room. Chances are, they won't notice if you are nervous or forget something you had planned to say. Be confident and know that there is always time to cover anything you may have forgotten.
- Pass out a syllabus/class instructions and answer questions. While you are giving your introduction, pass out the class syllabus so the students can begin looking it over. You can then refer to it after your personal introduction to share your expectations for the class (attendance, participation, structure, projects).[14]
- Setting the tone for the class on the first day is an important part of teaching a successful, engaged course. Practice several times before you actually are in front of your students.
- Avoid eating anything right before introducing yourself so you don't have to worry about having food stuck in your teeth.
- Try to be yourself rather than focusing on impressing other people—you'll come across as more genuine if you are honest and open, rather than bragging about your accomplishments when you introduce yourself.
EditSources and Citations
Cite error: <ref> tags exist, but no <references/> tag was found
|
No comments:
Post a Comment