| How to Respond to Ghosting Posted: 18 Sep 2018 05:00 PM PDT Whether your romantic interest or friend is ignoring you, being ghosted always hurts. Don't beat yourself up if your calls and texts start going unanswered. Try to stay calm, and avoid pleading for an explanation or sending angry messages. If an online dating match or casual acquaintance blew you off, don't sweat the small stuff. If someone closer intentionally ignores you, it can really hurt. Give yourself time to grieve. EditDiscovering You've Been Ghosted - Stay calm. It's hard to keep your cool when your texts and phone calls suddenly go unanswered. However, you should take a deep breath and relax before launching a tirade of frantic texts or sending a 10-paragraph angry email.[1]
- Not knowing why they won't respond is maddening, but it's better to cool off before saying something you'll regret or jumping to conclusions.
- Address the issue if you have an existing relationship. If you feel the need to initiate contact, stay rational. Send them a message or voicemail and say, "I haven't heard from you lately, and I hope I didn't do anything to offend you. If you want to try to resolve any issues, I'd be happy to talk. Otherwise, I wish you all the best."[2]
- Many people find ghosting acceptable in some circumstances. For example, if a match on a dating app starts ignoring your messages, your best bet is to brush it off and forget about it.
- Confirm that the person is intentionally ghosting you. If you just met the person or went on 1 or 2 casual dates, checking up on them probably isn't worth your time. However, if you've been friends or romantically involved for months or years, they might just have a lot on their plate. Before jumping to conclusions, see if they've simply been busy, and make sure that they're in good physical and mental health.[3]
- You could check their social media profile and see if they're posting pictures or statuses. Keep in mind you shouldn't obsess over their posts for hours. Just do a quick check.
- If you both have a mutual friend, you could ask them if the person who's ignoring you is okay.
- If you think the person might be depressed or going through an emotional struggle, you could write them a message and say, "I haven't heard from you in a while, and I hope you're okay. I know you're going through a tough time, and I'm here for you."
- Accept the truth instead of getting trapped in denial. If it's clear that the person is intentionally ignoring you, it might be best to cut your losses. If they post fun pictures on social media and your mutual friends say that they're doing well, the ball's in their court. There's not much more you can do beyond telling them you're willing to discuss any issues and wishing them well.[4]
- As much as it hurts, do your best to stop making excuses for them or holding out hope that they'll eventually respond.
- If they do try to contact you in the future, use your best judgment. If they apologize and explain that they had a lot going on, they might not have had bad intentions.
EditMoving Past the Pain - Give yourself permission to grieve. Whether a friend or romantic interest cut ties with you, it's tough to get over being ghosted. You have a right to be upset, so don't try to hide your grief. Allow yourself to cry, listen to sad music, or spend a day wallowing on the sofa.[5]
- Even if you just went on 1 date, it's still okay to grieve. Getting rejected is tough under any circumstances, and bottling up your feelings won't do you any good.
- Try not to take it personally. Most romantic relationships come to an end at some point, and sometimes people just aren't suited to each other. Instead of thinking, "There's something wrong with me," remind yourself that, sometimes, people are just incompatible. Don't beat yourself up just because it didn't work out with someone.[6]
- Focus on the fact that you dodged a bullet. It's better to be ghosted after 1 or 2 dates than to waste weeks or months with someone that's not right for you. If a long-term friend or partner starts intentionally ignoring you for no reason, it might be a good thing that they're out of your life.[7]
- Vent to a friend or family member. Talking to a trusted loved one can help you blow off steam and sort out your feelings. A close friend or relative can lift your spirits, and spending time with them can help take your mind off things.[8]
- Call a loved one and say, "All of a sudden, Sam isn't returning my calls or texts. I thought it was going well, but I've definitely been ghosted. Can we meet up for a coffee? I'm pretty bummed, and I could use a friend right now."
- Maintain your mental and physical health. Eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising can all help you push through your grief. Additionally, setting aside time to do activities you most enjoy can help boost your self-confidence.[9]
- Avoid skipping meals or loading up on sweets. Eat nutritious foods, such as fruits and veggies, healthy proteins (such as poultry or fish), whole grains, and low-fat dairy products.
- Do your best to get 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night.
- Exercise for at least 30 minutes each day. Outdoor exercise can be especially helpful, so go for brisk walks, jogs, or bike rides.
- Go on dates and meet new people. Don't let this experience get in the way of forming relationships in the future. Dating might seem daunting, and you might be afraid of being ghosted again. Take a deep breath, face your fears, and allow yourself to be vulnerable.[10]
- Try taking a class or joining a club related to one of your interests. You could join a gardening club, sign up for an informal sports league, or take a cooking class.
- Remind yourself that life is full of both joy and pain. You'll face obstacles in the future, but refusing to put yourself out there is no way to live.
EditLearning from the Experience - Look for ways to grow, but don't blame yourself. Don't kick yourself while you're down, but think about how you can learn from being ghosted. There's no way to guarantee that you won't find yourself in a similar situation, but you might find ways to be more selective of friends or dates in the future.[11]
- Remember to stay positive instead of finding ways to blame yourself. Practice constructive self-criticism, such as, "I put more effort into making plans than they did, and should avoid similar situations in the future."
- Ask yourself if there were any red flags that you ignored. Think about your interactions with the person, and try to remember any signs that they weren't that into the relationship. Did you get into a fight, or did they seem to gradually lose interest in talking? Were you always the one who called or asked to make plans?[12]
- Again, don't get down on yourself as you think about warning signs that went unnoticed. The point is to identify red flags to look for in future relationships.
- View rejection as a blessing in disguise. It never feels good to be rejected, but try to see the bigger picture. Experiencing heartbreak can help you cope with grief in the future. As much as it hurts now, you'll feel better soon.[13]
- The next time you're in a tough situation, think back to this, and remind yourself that things will get better.
- Remember your grief when you break up with people in the future. Having been ghosted yourself, you'll know that it's not the best way to end a relationship. When you have to break up with someone or end a friendship, try to be kind, but get straight to the point.[14]
- For example, you might say, "I've enjoyed the time we've had together, and this is tough for me to say. I don't think it's going to work out in the long run. I hope you understand, and I wish you all the best."
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| How to Wash Hair with Rice Water Posted: 18 Sep 2018 09:00 AM PDT Washing your hair with rice water is a cheap, easy, and effective way to improve the look and health of your hair. Rice water contains a particular carbohydrate that reportedly minimizes follicle damage and increases the shine, strength, and length of your hair. [1] You can use rice water as a weekly hair treatment, or rinse with it every time you shampoo. Whether you purchase rice water from the store or make it yourself at home, it is simple to incorporate it into your hair-washing routine! EditMaking Your Own Rice Water by Soaking - Purchase some rice. While any type of rice will work, the most frequently used are white rice or long-grain brown rice. Whatever you have in the house is fine!
- Measure out ½ cup of rice and rinse it to remove any dust or impurities.[2]
- Combine the rice with 2-3 cups of water in a bowl. Set the bowl aside on the counter and wait!
- Soak the rice in the water for about 15-30 minutes. Let your rice soak until the water takes on a milky, semi-opaque appearance. That milky appearance indicates that some of the rice's inositol has been released into the water.[3]
- Inositol is a carbohydrate that gives rice water its milky appearance. When used on your hair, some research suggests that inositol helps protect your locks and add shine.
- Stir the rice water a couple of times while it soaks. Use a spoon or fork to break up any clumps of rice.
- Once the water has a cloudy or milky look to it, it should be good to go.
- Strain out the rice and set the water aside. Double check to make sure that the water does not have any lingering rice in it.[4]
- Another way to do this is to boil the rice/water mixture. Just follow the same steps as soaking, but use slightly more water and strain out the rice once the water starts to boil. Allow it to cool to room temperature before using.[5]
- Transfer the rice water into a decorative or practical container. It is now ready to use!
EditWashing Your Hair with Rice Water - Shampoo your hair as usual. Be sure to rinse completely with warm water. You may follow with your normal conditioning routine, or apply the rice water directly after shampooing. Try each method to see what works best for you.
- If you don't usually wash your hair every day or have dry hair to begin with, you may want to skip the shampoo and proceed directly to the rice water.[6]
- Soak your hair with rice water after rinsing. Use a cup or a squeeze bottle to apply the rice water to your scalp. Then, thoroughly work it into your scalp and down the length of your strands.
- You do not necessarily need to be in the bath or shower to apply the rice water. In fact, many people soak their hair over a basin or sink. It's up to you!
- Leave the rice water in your hair for 20-30 minutes. This allows the inositol in the rice water to fully coat each strand. After you rinse out the rice water, your hair will have a thin layer of inositol coating each strand, helping protect it from damage and breakage.[7]
- Rinse out all of the rice water using cold water. Gently comb or brush your hair to remove any tangles or knots. Now you are ready to style your hair for the day! [8]
- Incorporate rice water into your regular haircare routine. Washing with rice water can be used as part of a daily routine, every other day, or once a week. It really depends on your personal preference and the kind of results you hope to achieve. [9]
- Many people find that washing with rice water every day can be a bit time-consuming and choose to use it less frequently and still get great results. Find the right routine that works for you! [10]
EditMaking Your Own Rice Water by Fermenting - Gather up your ingredients. You will need 1/2 cup of rice, 2-3 cups of water, and a bowl to place them in.[11]
- Don't forget to rinse the rice well before using!
- Mix the rice and water together in the bowl. Stir the mixture to make sure none of the rice is sticking together.[12]
- Soak the rice in the water for 15-30 minutes. The water should look murky or cloudy when it is ready to ferment. Strain the rice out and set the water aside.[13]
- Place the soaked rice water in a container. Set it aside and keep it at room temperature for 24-48 hours to allow it to ferment.
- Fermentation is said to strengthen the effects of rice water and help restore pH balance to dry or brittle hair.[14]
- A good way to know when the fermentation is complete is that the rice water will start to smell sour.
- Bottle the rice water in your favorite container. After the fermentation process is complete, transfer the rice water to a Tupperware or mason jar. A squeeze bottle also works very well and comes in handy when applying it to your hair later!
- Any rice water that you do not use right away can be stored in the fridge for about seven days.
- Adding a few drops of lavender or other essential oils is a great way to make the rice water smell pleasant![15]
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| How to Buy Cheap Books Posted: 18 Sep 2018 01:00 AM PDT Do you love to read, but lack the budget to buy a lot of new ones? Walking into a large bookstore, it can seem like all the new and exciting books you want to read are just too expensive for you to own. Fortunately, there are a number of ways to acquire inexpensive books, whether online, through e-readers, or just in your local neighborhood. EditSearching Online Sites - Use online bookstores to find books available at low prices. One of the most convenient ways to buy cheap books is to do so through online bookstores. Sites like Amazon.com and Abebooks.com offer used editions of many books at what are usually competitive prices. Check for used books on these and other sites to find the best deals.[1]
- Other online bookstores that sell books for cheap prices include Powell's Books, Better World Books, and Alibris.[2]
- If you're buying a textbook for a college course, you may be able to find an older edition of the book online for a relatively cheap price. Ask your professor if the older edition will cover the necessary material for the course.
- You can also find a lot of cheap books for sale on eBay. Although some books, especially rare books, have to be bid on, many listings include a "Buy It Now" option that allows you to purchase a book immediately instead of participating in an online auction.
- Compare book prices with online comparison engines. In addition to making cheap books available, there are several websites that also enable you to compare book prices offered by different online bookstores as you're shopping. Use these engines to determine the absolute best deal on a book you're trying to buy.[3]
- Both Bing Shopping and Google Books allow you to compare book prices across multiple online bookstores with just the book title or ISBN.
- If you're shopping for a college textbook, WeCompareBooks is your best bet; the site specializes in comparing textbook prices.
- Peruse sites that focus on selling secondhand books. Although online bookstores like Amazon may offer used books for sale, there are some sites that ONLY sell secondhand books, which means nearly all of their books are relatively cheap.
- Thriftbooks.com and bookdepository.com are two of the more popular sites specializing in secondhand books at cheap prices.[4]
- Daedalusbooks.com offers relatively new books that went unsold and are thus sold by the publisher at a dramatically reduced price.[5]
- Search Craigslist or Facebook for cheap books being sold locally. Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist both enable you to search for cheap books sold by private individuals in your area. Consider this option if you don't mind buying books from strangers in person.[6]
- Note that you'll probably have to travel to the seller's home in order to buy the book.
EditGetting Cheap Ebooks - Invest in an e-reader or a device that you can read ebooks on. Although you may have to shell out some money upfront for an e-reader, it'll be worth it in the long run when you're saving money buying and renting ebooks. For maximum cost effectiveness, invest in a device that does more than just store ebooks.[7]
- For example, while dedicated e-readers (e.g., the Kindle) can only be used to read ebooks, devices like computers, tablets, and smartphones, can also be used to read books electronically in addition to their numerous other functions.
- Dedicated e-readers range in price from $50 to $200. If you decide to go this route, go for a cheaper model to maximize your savings.
- Download free book-reading apps. Once you've acquired your e-reading device, download one or several of the various free book-reading apps available. Some of the most popular apps include the Kindle app, the Nook app, and Overdrive.[8]
- Note that some of these apps, such as the Nook app, are free to download but require a paid subscription or require that you pay for ebooks before downloading them.
- If you're reading ebooks on a computer, make sure your computer is able to open and read PDF documents, as many ebooks are made available this way. You may have to download Adobe Acrobat in order to be able to read PDFs.
- Search for cheap ebooks online. Once you're ready to start downloading ebooks, search for cheap ones on online bookstores to start buying and downloading them. Look for books on Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com to maximize your options.[9]
- If you opted to invest in a Kindle, you might consider using the BookLending program offered by Amazon, in which you make your library of ebooks available for others to use and in exchange you're able to access other people's ebooks for free.
- Instead of buying ebooks one at a time, consider paying for a monthly subscription service, such as Questia, that offers unlimited ebook downloads for a flat fee every month.[10]
EditBuying Books Secondhand - Visit used bookstores and book depositories. Although brick-and-mortar bookstores don't usually have as wide a selection as online retailers, their prices tend to be much more competitive. Visit a secondhand bookstore or depository in your area for the quickest and possibly cheapest means of buying a used book.[11]
- To find secondhand bookstores nearby, do an online search for your town or area and add "used books."
- If you want to make sure a bookstore has the specific book you want to buy before visiting, use BookFinder.com to check that book's availability in your area.
- Look for used and donated books on sale at thrift stores. Places like Goodwill and the Salvation Army collect unwanted items that people donate, including books, and sell them at a significantly reduced price. Consider perusing the offerings at donation-based thrift stores in your area to find used books at bargain prices.[12]
- Although prices vary from store to store, paperback books are typically sold for $1 and hardcover books often go for $2.
- Note that, while prices at thrift stores are extremely competitive, their selection is highly limited, since they rely on donated items to stock their stores.
- Go to nearby yard sales and look for books on sale. Often the absolute best prices you'll find on used books will be at yard sales, since the people selling the books are probably desperate to get rid of them. Look for yard sales going on near you and check to see if they have cheap books for sale.[13]
- You'll have to be comfortable traveling to another person's home to take advantage of yard sale prices. Although yard sales typically aren't dangerous, use your best judgment when traveling to one.
- If you buy a lot of books at once, try haggling with the seller for a discount. They may be so happy that you're buying multiple books that they'll knock a few dollars off the total.
- Check out book sales at your local library. Public libraries will often hold book sales with old, unpopular, or outdated books as a way to raise funds. Keep an eye out for announcements from your library about upcoming book sales and be sure to take a look at what they're selling.[14]
- Books at library sales are usually very cheap; hardcover books may go for $1-$2, while paperbacks are often priced at $0.50.
- Buying books from library book sales is not only a good way to buy books cheaply; it also gives you the opportunity to support your local library!
- Holding a book swap is a good way to come into possession of new books at little cost to you. Although you won't "buy" any books per se, participating in a book swap allows you to get rid of some of your old books and swap them for your friends' used books.
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