| How to Comfort Someone Who Is Crying Posted: 07 Sep 2017 05:00 PM PDT You may want to help someone who's crying but not know where to start. The most important part is to show that you care. Extend any help that you can and support their needs. Ask a few questions to make sure they feel safe or assess if they need anything. Overall, be generous with your time and allow them to talk about what's on their mind. EditBeing Helpful - Be there for them. There's often little you can do or say that's actually useful or helpful. In many cases, the important part is just being there. Your physical presence and time is often most appreciated in difficult times.[1]
- Stay with the person and let them know you're there for them and supporting them.
- Make sure they feel safe. If the person starts crying in public, offer to go somewhere more private. This can help with any embarrassment they feel. Go to a bathroom, car, or empty room. Being somewhere private can help them feel safe and able to work through whatever emotions they feel.
- If they seem uncomfortable, ask, "Would you like to go somewhere more private?"
- Offer a tissue. If you have a tissue or know where to get one, offer to grab one for them. Crying leads to wet faces and wet noses, and offering a tissue is a sign that you want to help. If there are no tissues nearby, offer to get one for them.
- You can say, "Would you like me to get you a tissue?"
EditSupporting Their Needs - Let them cry. It's never helpful to tell someone to stop crying or that whatever they are crying about isn't worth their tears. If someone is crying, let them cry. They are sharing a vulnerable moment with you, so allow them to express what needs to be expressed without telling them how to feel.
- You might feel awkward or uncomfortable around someone who's crying. Remember that your role is to offer support in a way that's helpful to them, and the focus is ultimately not on you.
- Ask what they need. They might want you to stay and listen or they may want some space and alone time. Don't assume you know what they want because you don't. Asking what they want and need puts the other person in control and gives you the opportunity to listen and respond. Whatever they ask for or need, respect what they say.[2]
- Ask, "What can I do to help?" or "How can I support you?"
- Give them time. You shouldn't feel like you're in a rush or need to go do something. Part of being supportive is being there and giving your time for the person. If you're there to comfort them, give them the time that they need. Your presence alone can be comforting, so sticking around and making sure they are capable of getting on with their day or getting further help can be what they need most.
- Don't stop for a few moments then get on with your day. Stay with them and let them know you will stay if they need you.
- Give some affection if wanted. If you know your friend likes hugs, give them a hug. However, if they tend to be more physically reserved, you may wish to pat them on the back or perhaps not touch them at all. If you're helping a stranger, it's best to ask if they want physical touch. If you're in doubt, ask if they'd like a hug or for you to hold them.[3]
EditTalking about Their Experience - Don't let them feel pressured to talk. The person may be in shock or not want to talk. If they don't seem willing or wanting to open up, don't force it. If you're stumbling to come up with something to say, don't feel like you have to say anything profound. Just being there and saying (or implying), "I'm here to support you" is often enough.
- You might comfort someone who never tells you what's upsetting them. That's okay.
- Listen closely. Turn up your listening skills and be willing to give your full attention to them. If you ask them what's wrong and they don't respond, don't keep asking. Accept whatever they say and focus on supportively listening.[4] Give them your full attention and pay attention to what they say and how they say it.
- Improve your listening by making eye contact and responding nonjudgmentally.
- Keep your focus on them. You might think that saying, "I just went through something like that" will be helpful and foster a connection, but really, it puts the focus on you and not them. Even worse, it can feel like you're dismissing their feelings. Keep the conversation about them. If they're talking about what's making them cry, let them talk and don't interrupt them.[5]
- You might really want to relate to them or talk about something in your life, but resist the urge to do so unless they ask. Your role is to help and comfort them.
- Don't jump to creating solutions. If the person is crying and upset about a situation, don't try to immediately solve the problem for them. It's more important for you to do less talking and more listening. The person may not even mention what's wrong, and that's okay. It's not your role to solve their problems.[6]
- Their crying is not a way to solve their problem, it's a way to express their emotions. Let them do so without interfering.
- This might be hard if you generally try to avoid crying yourself. Remember, crying is not a sign of weakness.
- Encourage them to see a therapist if they need more support. If this person is repeatedly having problems coping with their emotions, it may be time to see a therapist. Their problems may overwhelm you or you might think that what they're going through might be best handled by a therapist. Be gentle in your recommendation, but let them know it might be a good idea.[7]
- For example, try saying, "It sounds like what you're going through is really difficult. Have you thought about talking to a therapist?"
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| How to Survive After a Shipwreck Posted: 07 Sep 2017 09:00 AM PDT While most people won't ever be shipwrecked, it is a small possibility for people who do travel by water. In addition to the danger of dying when the ship sinks, there are many dangers after you've survived the initial sinking. Possible dangers include exposure, sharks, and more. However, by getting organized, cooperating with others, and taking steps to aid in your rescue, you'll have much better odds of surviving a shipwreck. With some hard work and luck, you'll survive this stressful ordeal. EditGetting Organized - Stay calm. Perhaps the most important thing to surviving a shipwreck is staying calm. This is even more important in the first chaotic moments in a tragedy at sea. If you don't stay calm, you could put yourself in more risk.[1]
- If you find yourself panicking, tell yourself to relax and breathe deeply.
- Think before you act. Don't just run to the first life boat, or jump into the water at the first sight of danger. Consider all your options.
- Find a flotation device. As the craft you're on is sinking, you should make it your primary goal to find some sort of flotation device. Without a flotation device, you probably won't survive for very long in the water. Some devices include:
- Life preservers.
- Solid life boats.
- Inflatable rafts.[2]
- Jump from the craft if you are in danger. If you must jump from a boat, make sure to keep your shoes on. Look down before you jump to make sure you don't land on other people or objects. Place one of your arms on your abdomen. Then, grasp your opposite elbow. Use the opposite hand to hold your nose closed. Finally, jump as far off as you can. As you fall, cross your legs and try to enter the water with your feet first.[3]
- Get away from the boat, if it is large. Large ships tend to create a suction effect and suck things down with them as they sink. As a result, the larger the vessel, the farther you should get away from it as it sinks. This is important, as large boats can bring you down even if you're wearing a life preserver.[4]
- Use the breaststroke to swim away from the boat.
- Kick strongly with your legs.
- If you don't know how to swim very well, stay calm, tread water, and slowly paddle away from the sinking ship.
- Find something to help you stay afloat. If you don't have a life preserver, raft, or something else to float on, look around the area of the shipwreck for any debris you could use to stay afloat. There are many possible items that you could use, such as:
- A door.
- Pieces of the boat that are still floating.
- Spare lifeboats or life preservers that aren't being used.
- Look to see if you are injured. After you're a safe distance from the boat, you should take a quick look at yourself to see if you're injured or not. This is important, as you could need immediate medical attention. Pay attention to whether:
- You're bleeding. If so, and the wound is bad, you may need to use a tourniquet to stop loss of blood. This is important, as blood loss could fasten the pace at which hypothermia sets in.[5]
- You have a broken limb. A broken limb could seriously inhibit your ability to swim. If you have one, you'll need to immediately ask for the assistance of another survivor.
EditCooperating with Others - Help others. After you've checked yourself and found a way to keep yourself afloat, see if you can offer assistance to other survivors who may need help. Other survivors could be in serious distress and need immediate help.[6]
- Assist others who may be in shock. Talk to them, tell them things will be okay, and let them know you are there to help them.
- Treat people who have concussions.
- Organize your group. After you've adjusted to your new status, you need to talk to everyone in your group and get them organized. Survivors in your group may have knowledge, expertise, or ideas about how to increase your survival chances and get rescued.[7]
- Stay together. Your chances of surviving and being rescued are a lot higher if your group is organized and stays together.
- Look for supplies. After you and other survivors have found a way to stay afloat, start organizing and gathering supplies. Ultimately, the more supplies you have and the better you manage them, the longer you'll be able to survive until you are rescued. Pay special attention to:
- Fresh water. Store and ration your fresh water as well as you can.
- Food.
- Signal flares and other items you could signal rescuers with.
EditStaying Alive on the Water - Avoid hypothermia. Next to drowning, hypothermia is the biggest threat to your survivor after a shipwreck. This is because exposure to cold water will lower your body temperature. If your body temperature gets too low, your body will eventually shut down and you will die.
- If you're in the water with a flotation device and not on a raft, hug your knees to your chest. This will help maintain body warmth.
- If you're with others in the water or in a raft, stay close together, and hug each other.
- Keep your clothes on. Even if they're soaked, they'll help maintain your body temperature.[8]
- Watch for sharks. Next to hyperthermia and drowning, one of the biggest dangers on the open water are sharks. Sharks are especially dangerous around shipwrecks because they're attracted to blood from injured people and by the fish that gather around floating objects on the surface of the water.
- Avoid splashing around. This will minimize the attention that you draw to yourself and your group.
- If someone has an open wound, do your best to stop the bleeding. Blood will draw fish and sharks from great distances.[9]
- Look for land. Once you're relatively safe and stable on the water, you should look start to look for land. If you don't find land, you're chances of survival will drop every day as your supplies slowly disappear. There are many ways you can find land:
- Estimate your position based on your last known position. You can do this using charts, maps, or the stars.
- Look for signs of land like the presence of birds, driftwood, or trash. If you see birds, look at the direction they come from and fly toward.
- Try to visually spot land on the horizon. Depending on you distance, it could be hard to spot, but you should try.[10]
- Create drinking water. If you find yourself in need of water and have a few basic supplies, you may be able to create some. Take a plastic tarp and set it out across your raft or lifeboat. Use it to collect rainwater. In addition, if there isn't rain, you may be able to collect condensation off of it in the morning.[11]
- Signal rescuers. Whether you're on a boat, floating on the water, or on land, you should try to signal rescuers as often as is possible. Without a signal, rescuers may not be able to spot you and other survivors after a shipwreck. Some methods of signaling include:
- Shooting a flare gun. Depending on how many flares you have, you may want to save these for when you see a boat or aircraft passing in the distance.
- A mirror. Use a mirror to reflect the sun toward a possible search craft.
- A fire. If you're on land, light a fire to gain the attention of rescuers.
- Building a sign or some other sort of structure on a beach. For instance, create a "SOS" sign with coconuts or driftwood.[12]
- If you haven't taken swimming lessons before going on a boat, it would be advisable to learn.
- Large ships such as cruise liners can take hours or even days to sink and, in order to be rescued quickly, it's best to remain with the ship unless the crew has advised otherwise.
- Always put a life jacket on at the first sign of sinking and try to have a long sleeved top and long pants on to help with warmth.
- If the inside of the ship is flooding quickly, do not inflate your life jacket until you are outside. Otherwise, you might float to the top and be trapped.
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| How to Realign Your Neck Posted: 07 Sep 2017 01:00 AM PDT Having your neck out of alignment is a common issue, especially if you're sitting at a computer all day. A neck that is out of alignment can cause pain and discomfort. If you've been experiencing neck pain and tension, then you are likely looking for a solution. Fortunately, it's possible to realign your neck using neck stretches, lifestyle changes, or a chiropractor. EditUsing Neck Stretches - Warm up your neck. Warming up your neck muscles before stretching will help prevent muscle tightness and pain. Gently stretch your neck by rolling your head to each side. Start with your head leaning toward the right, then gently lower your head in front of you. Continue around until your head leans to the left.[1]
- Repeat the exercise, gently rolling your head from side to side.
- Anytime you are stretching your neck, be very careful not to go too far. Use slow, gentle movements.
- Try a front neck stretch. Called a cervical flexion stretch, moving your head to the front and back can help realign your neck. Sit in a straight chair looking forward. Bend your chin down to your chest and hold for 15 seconds. Lift your head back to the starting position, then repeat ten times. After the tenth repetition, bend your head backwards, then repeat the exercise ten times from the backward position.[2]
- Make sure that your movements are smooth and gentle.
- When moving your head backwards, go very slowly and stop as soon as you feel resistance. Never force your head backwards.
- Do a side neck stretch. Called a cervical lateral flexion stretch, turning your head side to side can help with alignment. Start with your head straight with your chin parallel to the floor. Turn your head to the right and hold for 15 seconds. Relax and return to your starting position. Repeat for ten repetitions.[3]
- After you finish on the right side, repeat for your left side.
- Stop turning your head as soon as you feel resistance, even if you haven't turned all of the way to the side.
- Use your arm to stretch your neck. Stand or sit with your back straight. Turn your head to the right, then turn your face toward the ceiling. Look forward and bend you head to the right. Using your right arm, gently press your head toward your right shoulder. Hold for 30 seconds.
- Repeat the stretch on your left side.[4]
- Don't force your head down. The tilt of your head should be slight.
- Squeeze your shoulder blades together. Relax your shoulders and keep your arms at your side. Squeeze your shoulder blades together and hold for five seconds. Release, then repeat the stretch for ten repetitions.
- Do three sets of ten each day.
- Intensify the stretch by holding for ten seconds instead of five.[5]
EditChanging Your Lifestyle - Adjust your computer monitor. If you spend time on a computer, then the position of your monitor could be causing your neck misalignment. Raise your monitor so that the top third of your screen is directly in your eyeline. Position the monitor 18 inches (46 cm) to 24 inches (61 cm) from your face.[6]
- Sit up straight. When you sit in a chair, press the bottom of your butt against the back of your chair. Allow your back to curve slightly, pressing your upper back against the chair. Keep your neck and head straight.[7]
- Sleep on a pillow that supports your neck. You spend about a third of your time sleeping, and the wrong pillow can cause your neck to be poorly aligned.[8] Your pillow should support your neck and keep in in line with your upper back and chest. A pillow that is too high or too low will put strain on your muscles, resulting in misalignment and pain.
- Great pillow options for neck alignment include memory foam pillows or neck roll pillows.
- A good pillow will also allow you to stay comfortable in different sleeping positions.[9]
- Replace your pillows annually.
- Take posture breaks. Many people spend their day sitting at a desk, which can negatively affect your posture. Schedule breaks throughout your day to get up and walk around. While you're up, focus on walking with good posture.[10]
- Stand up straight, roll your shoulders back, and face forward.
- Do your neck stretches during your breaks.
- Eat a healthy, balanced diet. Make sure that your diet is high in nutrients that support healthy bones, such as protein, calcium, iron, magnesium, vitamin K, vitamin C, and vitamin D3. Eating a healthy, balanced diet can also help you maintain a healthy weight, which will help your bones by making their load lighter.[11]
- Eat lean proteins, fruit, and plenty of vegetables.
- Consider taking a multivitamin.
- Exercise regularly. Gentle exercise will help prevent injuries and pain in both your neck and back. When you exercise, your vertebrae swell with water, which allows nutrients to flow into your bones. Exercise can also help you control your weight, which will help by reducing the pressure on your bones.[12]
EditUsing a Chiropractor - Research your local providers. Do a little research about your local providers, including looking them up on the web. Check out their reviews, office ratings, and office website. Search for any news items related to the office.
- Call to ask them about their services.
- Ask if they take your health insurance.
- Tell them that you are having neck issues and want to have your neck realigned.
- Make an appointment. Once you choose a provider who can offer the service you want, schedule your appointment.
- Ask if there is any paperwork you need to complete before your visit, and how early you should arrive.
- Tell the office that you want your neck realigned.
- You may need to go to a consultation first. The doctor will evaluate you and recommend a treatment plan.
- Ask how many visits you will need. You may need to see the chiropractor more than once to realign your neck, so ask the office how many sessions you should expect. While this number can change, it will give you an idea of how long your treatment should last.[13]
- Say, "How many sessions does it typically take to realign your neck?"
- Attend your appointment. On the day of your appointment, wear a loose-fitting, two-piece outfit that you are comfortable in. You will be lying on a table and possibly shifting around, so keep that in mind.
- Bring any questions you have for the doctor.
- Schedule your remaining visits at the end of your first appointment. You may need more than one appointment in order for your treatment to be effective. Talk to the office about scheduling your remaining appointments before you leave so that you are following a proper treatment schedule. Starting the process but not finishing it could cause more harm than good.[14]
- Bring your personal calendar or scheduler.
- Ask the doctor when they recommend you come back, and then follow their instructions.
- Expect side effects. Mild side effects are normal for a few days after treatment. Call your doctor if they bother you or if they continue more than a few days. Possible side effects include:
- Pain in the treatment area.
- Fatigue.
- Headache.[15]
- Follow the doctor's instructions. Your doctor may recommend additional steps to support your alignment procedure, and it's important that you follow their instructions. These steps could include:
- Exercise.
- Stretching.
- Massage.
- Weight Loss.
- Heat or Ice.
- Electrical stimulation.[16]
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