| How to Wear Finger Picks Posted: 02 Sep 2017 05:00 PM PDT Finger picks are typically used for playing a bluegrass style of banjo music, but they can also be used by guitar and autoharp players—along with other types of instruments. Picks usually come in metal or plastic and in different thicknesses. The type of finger pick you choose largely depends on your experience level and style of music. To use a finger pick, choose the right one for you, put it on, and adjust it to your liking so that you can start creating awesome music for everyone to enjoy. EditChoosing a Finger Pick - Wear the right size. Finger picks usually come in a small, medium, or large size. Wearing a finger pick that is too large or small can be uncomfortable and affect the way you play. It's ideal to go to a music store to try on the finger pick. If that's not an option, look for a sizing chart online.[1]
- You should look for picks made for left hands if you are left-handed.
- Look at a variety of picks. Some finger picks are as cheap as a dollar, but some can be as expensive as $35. It may seem tempting to go for the expensive one to assure a great sound, but that is not always the case. Cheap picks can often be just as good as expensive finger picks.[2]
- You may want to pay more if you'd prefer handcrafted metal finger picks.
- Choose metal for a louder sound. It's okay to use metal or plastic picks, but metal picks are ideal if you are going for a specific sound. A metal pick will help you produce a louder and more precise sound. Metal may also be more durable if you play hard and very often.[3]
- Go for plastic if you want a softer sound. Plastic is softer than metal, so naturally it creates a softer sound with more ease than a metal pick would. Plastic is also a good idea if you plan to make adjustments to your finger pick because they are fairly malleable.[4]
- It's also an option to combine plastic and metal fingers since people often wear three picks as they play.
- Use a thin finger pick at first. Thinner picks are great for beginner players because they are lighter. This is good for people that aren't used to having picks on their fingers. They are also good because they are more flexible than thicker picks, and the flexibility makes it easier to play. Thin picks aren't just for beginners though. They are good for achieving a delicate sound in your music.[5]
- Wear a thicker pick for a fast playing style. Thick picks are great for more advanced players that feel confident with controlling their finger picks. They are also ideal for the faster strumming that is common with banjo playing. You can also use thicker picks if you want a heavier sound.[6]
EditPutting on a New Finger Pick - Place the pick on the end of your index finger. You will typically have to adjust the finger pick or picks before playing. To do this, first put the finger pick on the end of your index finger. The collar of the finger pick should be between the end of your finger and the first joint. The part that picks the instrument should be facing down. Musicians will often wear three picks at a time. If that's the case, put the other two picks on your thumb and middle finger.[7]
- If you're wearing three picks, it's a good idea to use two metal picks and one plastic pick to get a range of sound.
- The collar of the pick should not actually be on the joint of your finger.
- Form the pick to your finger. First, hold both sides of the collar of the pick with your opposite index finger and thumb. Give the finger pick a squeeze. Squeeze the pick until the pick is snug, but not too tight on your finger.[8]
- The finger pick should extend slightly past the end of your finger.
- Try to bend the blade if you want the pick to curve with your finger. You don't have to do this if you are happy with the way the pick fits. If you want the pick to bend with the curve of your finger, you will need to bend the blade. You can do this by pushing the end of the pick on a hard surface, like a table, while wearing it.[9]
- It may be more difficult to bend the pick if it is pretty thick.
EditAdjusting the Sound - Move the pick to fit at a slight angle. This will allow you to hit the strings of your instrument at a straighter angle. A straight angle will give your music a fuller sound. If the pick isn't too tight, you should be able to move it to a slight angle. The pick should cover half of the tip of your finger if it is angled correctly.[10]
- Reduce scraping noises in a plastic pick by heating the tip. This works best with the pick you wear on your thumb. Hold the pick with a pair of pliers. Dip the flat edge of the pick in boiling water, and hold it there for 10 seconds. Then, take it out of the water and twist the edge slightly while it's hot. This will make the edge of the pick flat against the string, reducing the scraping noise.[11]
- Keep the metal pick clean to avoid scraping sounds. Scraping sounds will happen with metal picks, but you can reduce how often this happens by cleaning them. Use a soft cloth or chamois, which is soft leather. Use the cloth to rub the surface of the pick to keep dirt from building up.[12]
- It's also good to keep the strings clean so the pick doesn't hit a dirty surface.
- Grease the edge of a plastic pick with lip balm to eliminate scraping noises.[13]
- Go to a music store for knowledgeable advice on which finger pick is ideal for your finger size and playing style.
- Make sure the pick is not too tight for your finger or it could be uncomfortable and cut off circulation.
- Be cautious when using heat to adjust your finger pick. Have someone help you if you don't feel comfortable putting the pick in boiling water on your own.
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| How to Prepare For a School Picture Posted: 02 Sep 2017 09:00 AM PDT It's normal to feel a little nervous about taking your school picture. You might feel pressure to look perfect or you may have had a bad previous experience that you don't want to repeat. Fortunately, if you spruce up your appearance, work on being photogenic, and practice good hygiene, you'll be prepared to take a great school picture. EditEnhancing Your Appearance - Plan out your outfit. Look through your clothes and think about which outfits look best on you. Think about what colors you get complimented while wearing and what shirts you'd wear on a date. Make sure to stay away from busy patterns, white, bright colors, and clothing with words or big logos.[1]
- When in doubt, wear a dark, solid color.[2]
- Don't wear anything too low-cut.
- Go with opaque fabrics.[3]
- Keep your accessories simple. Big earrings, watches, bracelets, necklaces, scarves, or other accessories will just distract from your face and smile. If you want to wear accessories, it's better to choose small, simple ones that don't immediately demand attention.[4]
- Go with a thin gold or silver necklace chain with a small pendant instead of a chunky colorful necklace with a thicker chain.
- Make sure to wear a watch that's appropriate for your wrist size and isn't too flashy.
- Keep your makeup natural-looking. Have your makeup look as clump-free and natural as possible. Be conservative with the amount you use or else it might appear "cakey." Keep in mind that you want a subtle enhancement, not anything too extreme.[5]
- Stick to just one light coat of brown mascara to give your eyes a subtle enhancement.
- Stay away from extremely bright or dark lipsticks.
- Don't change your appearance too much. Hold off on making any major changes to your appearance, such as switching to a new acne cream or dyeing your hair an exciting new color. While you might love these changes, there's also a chance that they won't end up looking the way you expected or wanted.[6]
- Don't get too caught up in looking perfect. Try not to get too stressed about looking amazing. If you just lost your front tooth or you have a couple fly away hairs you can't quite secure, it's okay. In the future, you'll want to look back on the picture you take and see what you really looked like at this age. A couple of endearing imperfections aren't going to ruin that.[7]
EditBeing Photogenic - Practice your smile. Stand in front of your mirror at home and practice smiling. It might feel a little silly to do, but if you want your pictures to look a certain way, you'll need to figure out how to create your most attractive, natural smile in advance.[8]
- Take a few practice selfies, too. Looking at an actual photo of yourself can really help you figure out what adjustments to make.
- Practice angles and choose one. School pictures are usually taken straight-on, but very subtle changes in your head positioning can make a big difference. When you practice smiling in the mirror or in selfies, test out slightly different head positions to find out which one makes your facial features look best.
- If possible, avoid cheesy poses such as resting your head on your fist.[9]
- Make sure you sit or stand up straight when your picture is taken.[10]
- Listen to the photographer. If you're a good listener, you'll get a much better photo. The photographer is a professional, so do your best to do as they say. Listen and respect the photographer just like you would any other adult.[11]
- Think happy thoughts. To avoid having a fake or forced smile, make sure to think about something that makes you happy while your picture is taken. Consider thinking about playing with your dog or eating your favorite food.[12]
EditPracticing Good Hygiene - Take a shower regularly. Being clean will help you look and feel your best in front of the camera. Shampoo and condition your hair and create a lather with your soap or body wash. Go over your whole body with the soap from top to bottom. It's best if you take a shower either the night before or the morning of picture day.
- It's best for your skin to keep your shower short (5-10 minutes) and the water lukewarm or cooler.
- Pat yourself dry with a towel and moisturize your body with body lotion afterward.[13]
- Comb and brush your hair. At the very least, comb out any tangles so it looks neat and nice and give yourself a straight part. If you want, straighten, curl, or scrunch your hair to make it look a little more special.
- Take care of your face. Clean your face every night, and if you have a foolproof method that prevents acne for you, follow it. This will improve your chances of having a clean, clear, beautiful face on picture day.
- Use a gel-based or foamy cleanser if you have normal to oily skin.
- Use a creamy moisturizing cleanser if you have dry skin.[14]
- Take care of your teeth. Make sure to floss and brush your teeth every day in the morning and at night. Doing this will remove bacteria from your teeth which will keep them whiter, help prevent gum disease, and keep your teeth from decaying. Make sure to brush for about 2 minutes every time to make your smile look bright.[15]
- Bring a comb and mirror to school. Before taking your picture, you may have some ketchup on your cheek from lunch or some stray hairs sticking up. Pack a comb and hand-held mirror in your backpack the night before so you can give your appearance one last check and touch up before getting in front of the camera.
- Get a haircut a couple days to a couple weeks in advance. A fresh trim will look great in your school pictures. For a clean-cut, put-together look, get a haircut just a few days or a week before picture day. [16]
- Stay healthy before picture day. Make sure you're drinking enough water and getting enough sleep in the days leading up to picture day.[17] Keeping yourself hydrated and well-rested will give you an energized smile and healthy-looking skin.
- Try to be confident. Don't say you look bad, because that will just lower your self esteem.
- Compare school pictures from previous years to know what you can do to look your best the next time.
- Try taking pictures of yourself before picture day. Then you can look at your picture and figure out what you can correct ahead of time to make it better.
- Make sure your picture day outfit is clean several day in advance.
- You might regret pouting or making a funny face in your school picture. Instead, smile!
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| How to Cope With Friends Who Turn Against You Posted: 02 Sep 2017 01:00 AM PDT One of the downsides of friendships is the potential for a friend to backstab or betray you. When a friend turns against you, it may feel like the end of the world, especially if this person is who you would normally turn to during times of need. Coping with friends who turn against you requires compassionate attention to your own emotions as well as closely considering the status of the current relationship and moving forward accordingly. Learn how to care for your hurt feelings and handle a disloyal friend, too. EditDealing with Hurt Feelings - Acknowledge the pain of disloyalty. It hurts to have someone turn against you or to find out someone you thought was a close friend may not really be who you thought. It's normal to be upset and there is no need to hide the fact that you are hurt.[1]
- Acknowledge the pain by stating it aloud. Name the emotion that you are feeling and own your reaction to it. "I am disappointed because I placed my trust in someone who backstabbed me."
- While you can acknowledge the feelings, remember you are the only one who controls how you react to this disloyalty. In some cases, this person may be treating you a certain way with the hope that you will react in a big way. It is far better to take a step back and reflect on how you are feeling, instead of acting out in the moment.
- Take time to reflect. Just as some romantic relationships benefit from a break, friendships can also benefit from time apart. Take this break to think about any major choices like confronting the friends or completely ending the friendships. You may find that you calm down after a few days, or you may find that during the break you actually feel better without the friends.
- You can also use this time to consider opening yourself to making some new friends who are more supportive. Spend time with a few other acquaintances, classmates, or coworkers. Do you notice yourself liking being with these people over your other friends? Do you notice good qualities in these people that your other friends lack?
- Another way to engage in reflection is to journal. Writing down the experience and your thoughts and feelings associated with it can be incredibly freeing and empowering.[2] You can even brainstorm ideas as to how you want to deal with the aftermath of a friend's betrayal.
- Practice regular self-care. Before you can even think about rebuilding trust with your friends, you have to first take care of you. We often put our own feelings on the back burner to avoid feeling bad ourselves or to avoid making others feel bad about their actions against us. Denying yourself time to care for your own needs does not lend itself to creating long-term, healthy friendships.[3]
- Forgive yourself for taking a chance on the friendship and to have whatever feelings you had in the moment after you found out about the betrayal. When someone steals from you or goes behind your back to do something it is easy to beat yourself up over letting anyone have the chance to use you.
- Treat yourself kindly during this time. Do things you like to do—whether that is binge-watching your favorite TV series, getting a manicure, or spending time with family.
- Be the bigger person. Don't entertain urges to get revenge or hold grudges. Try to forgive those that do you wrong, if only so you don't have to carry the burden of anger. You may feel like you are letting the other person off too easy if you let go of the anger and move on. This is not the case. Holding onto the anger hurts you first and foremost. In many cases, the person you are angry with has already moved on. You take back your power by being the bigger person and not reacting in a vengeful way.[4]
- Keep in mind that you can't control what other people do or say about you. Getting angry and nasty will not make you have any more control than you have now. And in the end, if your actions are not in line with your character or beliefs, you will likely feel ashamed or guilty for have acted outside your values.
- For example, if a friend or classmate is spreading rumors about you, you can choose to not make the situation uglier by doing the same. Step back and come up with a less vindictive manner to handle the situation instead.
- The old saying "fight fire with fire" really makes little sense in reality. You normally fight fire with water or something else that puts out the fire, right? Don't fuel the fire with attention or your own negative actions because all that happens then is a much bigger fire.
- Hang out with fun and supportive friends and family. It can be extremely comforting after betrayal to surround yourself with positive people who want nothing but the best for you. This not only helps you process and cope with a betrayal, but it also reaffirms your value as a person and a friend.[5]
- For example, if one friend let you down, be sure to cherish your other friends who have consistently been loyal to you. Let these people know how much you appreciate them.
EditEvaluating Your Relationship - Evaluate your friendship. When a friend who knows you well turns against you, it may affect your personal, social, or career standing. Depending on how much of an impact the rumor or betrayal may have had, you must decide if it's better to ignore it or address the issue.[6]
- If the problem is simply with the one friend involving a minor issue, it's probably pretty safe to just ignore the friend. On the other hand, if your job is at risk or there are allegations that go beyond a small rumor that will blow over, you may need to take other steps to prevent the situation from getting worse.
- Is everyone talking about the issue? Are there legal ramifications? How many people are aware of what happened? Asking these questions can help you discover the scope of the problem.
- It may be helpful to talk with an unbiased party about what you can do to resolve this issue. In the end, you must trust your own judgment about how to handle it, but getting some sound advice could be beneficial.
- Combat negative effects. If the friend who turned against you spread rumors or bad-mouthed you to others, try to do what you can to counteract those negative perceptions of you.[7]
- You can try defending yourself or approaching certain people and trying to explain your side of the story with something like "Those rumors are not true..." Be aware, though, that there is always a chance people won't want to listen.
- Actions speak louder than words and may help you to repair your reputation much faster. Instead of wasting time trying to talk your way out of a rumor, use positive actions to show those around you the rumors are simply not true. If people called you a cheater, try to be transparent about your everyday operations to shut down the rumors.
- Decide whether or not to confront the person. There are going to be times when you need to say something and there are going to be times where you can just let whatever happened go. Use your judgment of your friend and the situation to determine if a response is necessary.[8]
- Think about the positive and negative consequences of confronting someone who hurt you. If you just drop the person as a friend, you will never have a chance to hear his side of the story and potentially clear up what may be a simple misunderstanding. You will also have the opportunity to express how you feel. On the other hand, the person may become verbally abusive or combative, leading to more hurt feelings.
- If whatever happened between you and your friend seems out of character for him, this might be a time to practice some compassion and just let things go. This will be even truer if you know the friend is going through something and may have turned against you out of desperation.
- If you do decide to address the issue, say something like "I heard you told our boss I cheated on the project. I'm really hurt by these accusations. I did my part fair and square. I'd like to know why you said those things."
- Determine if you want to repair the friendship. This process is usually tied to balancing how much value you place in the relationship and what actually occurred. You may need to take a close look at this friendship and see if it's worth fighting for. If the friend is not someone you consider to be close, it might be less stressful to walk away. If, on the other hand, this is a friendship you value, find a way to address the issue in a constructive yet firm way.[9]
- Even if this is a friendship you really value, there may be actions so unforgivable that the friendship will not recover. Before you take matters into your own hands, you must be absolutely sure the friend is responsible. Gather evidence that supports your findings before deciding to end the friendship. For example, if there is talk that your best friend is involved with your significant other, you would want to be almost 100% sure before making an accusation.
- Mend the friendship if you want. Make recommendations for how the person can prove her loyalty again. Take a step back and look at what caused your friend to turn on you. Was a friend at work feeling jealous of your accomplishments so she lied about the credit for your work? Take this as a compliment and create an opportunity for the friend to come clean and acknowledge your work.[10][11]
- Let your friend know that you do not take forgiveness lightly. Say something like "I forgive you and want to move on from this situation. But, I want you to know that you really hurt me and I may not be able to continue the friendship if this happens again."
- Set clear boundaries with your friend so he or she understands why you are putting whatever happened behind you. She should know that going forward you expect total loyalty so there is no opportunity to let it happen again. For example, if this was a work project, going forward use a new system of dividing up the work so each team member clearly has his or her own "part". If the issue came up at home, change the level of access this friend has to your home so there isn't a way for this to happen again.
EditLooking at the Big Picture - Focus on your own behavior. Strive to be a better friend so you attract more loyal friends. Look at the healthy friendships you have mutually enjoyed and learn from those. Learn to be a better you by not allowing yourself to get caught up in drama at work or at home. Let go of unhealthy relationships.[12]
- Do not get caught up in a toxic circle of doing negative things because others do them. You will not find friends that are trustworthy if they cannot trust you. When you say you'll do something, do it. If you make plans with others, follow through with them. Doing small deeds can go a long way to helping you build trustworthiness.
- Consider the type of friends you tend to make. The only thing you have absolute control over is you. You get to decide how you react to certain people and who gets space in your life. You do not have to remain friends or even friendly with someone just because you were friends since you were kids or you happen to work in the same office.[13]
- If you find work friends are harder to trust because of competition at work, make clear boundaries about not bringing work home. You do not have to be friends or social with co-workers if it is only leading to problems at work.
- The same goes for friendships you make in other settings. Are these people positive influences? Are they using you? Look at the types of friends you have and the kind of friendship obstacles you encounter. Maybe it's a good idea to reevaluate all your friendships to see if you are making smart, healthy choices in your relationships.
- Don't compromise your personal values for friendships. This includes hiding things about yourself or family just to keep certain friends. You may find friends act differently in certain contexts and that you cannot always depend on certain friends to be consistent. If you lose a friendship because you need to focus on family, then it wasn't a healthy relationship to begin with.[14]
- This also includes ignoring the actions of a friend in the name of friendship. You have the right to stand up for your beliefs. In addition, you should not be pressured to look the other way if a friend does something you feel is wrong or violates the law.
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