| How to Let Go of Something You Cannot Change Posted: 09 Jul 2017 05:00 PM PDT Admitting you didn't get what you wanted or that things didn't go your way can be difficult, yet moving on from disappointment can be even more challenging. If you're struggling to let go of something outside of your control, know that it can be done. Acknowledge the way you feel and why you're upset. Change the way you see the situation and adjust your attitude and thoughts. Finally, be ready to move forward without holding onto the past. EditPracticing Letting Go - Journal about it. If you cannot quite pinpoint what is causing you pain, suffering, confusion, or what is blocking you from letting go, spend some time writing about your experience and how you feel. You may realize that certain thoughts or beliefs keep you from letting go of something. You can also learn to identify and express your emotions through journaling.[1]
- Be completely honest in your journal and share your thoughts and feelings. Write about what might be stopping you from letting something go or what factors make it difficult.
- Don't be concerned about spelling, neatness, format, or even making sense. Start writing when you feel like it, and stop when you feel like you're done.
- Remember that you don't have to process everything in one sitting. You may work out your feelings over multiple entries over a period of time.
- Practice mindfulness. If you find your thoughts becoming negative or holding onto something, use mindfulness to help let them go. Sit down and ask yourself, "What is it that I'm feeling?" Notice your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. Notice these things without responding to them or interacting. After a minute or so, bring your awareness to your breath. Notice how it feels to bring air into your body and exhale it. Continue to let your entire body breathe and let whatever feelings come up be felt, but always return to your breath. Breathe through each experience.[2]
- If you get sidetracked in your own thoughts, always come back to your breath.
- Don't sabotage yourself by expecting meditation to come easily right away. Practicing mindfulness and meditation can be very difficult at first, but becomes easier the more you do it. Stick with it, even if you are initially frustrated by your drifting thoughts.
- Use affirmations. Find an affirmation or mantra to repeat to yourself when you're having problems letting go. This serves to remind you to avert your attention and accept that letting go is okay. Choose a mantra that resonates with you such as, "I surrender" or, "Letting go is okay." When you start to feel stuck or uncomfortable in holding onto something, repeat the mantra in your mind.[3]
- Some other examples may include, "I am not in control and that's okay" or, "Letting go frees me."
- It may be helpful to write these on sticky it notes and posting them where you will see them frequently, like on your mirror or on your computer monitor. You can even have your phone send you alerts with these affirmations.
- Create a symbolic letting go ceremony. You may want to choose a time to let something go and make it a sacred or meaningful ceremony. For example, write all of your thoughts and feelings about what you cannot change. Once you finish, burn the paper to symbolically represent you letting go and moving on. Invite a trusted friend or family member to join you if you feel you need support.
- You can also draw a picture or gather items you wish to burn, throw away, or donate. Release whatever you associate with what you cannot change as a way to let go.
- For example, if you're ready to move on from an unhealthy relationship, remove anything that reminds you of the person or the relationship. Write a letter saying that you're ready to let go, then burn it.
EditAdjusting Your Mindset - Show compassion to yourself. It's hard not getting what you want, and acknowledging that you're receiving a different outcome than your desired one is one way to show compassion for yourself. Think about how you feel and why you might feel that way. If you're sad or upset, don't be afraid to acknowledge and express those feelings.[4]
- Say to yourself, "It's hard not being able to change something to an outcome I want."
- Discussing the situation with your friends can help you normalize your experience. It can be very helpful to hear that your feelings are normal and they would feel similarly, too.
- Consider what you actually need, rather than what you desire. It is easy to get very upset with relationships do not go as hoped. But usually these are imperfections rather than "dealbreakers". A disagreement or argument typically is not as serious as abuse, for example.
- Example: You had a falling out with a friend and you need someone to apologize to you to feel at peace. Perhaps it feels like that is the only way to experience peace, but does it have to have that outcome? Maybe you need to simply let go of the friendship and move on, as irritating as it is. You can experience peace even when you don't get what you want.[5]
- Example: Your friend dies in a car accident. Of course, there is no way around this loss. However, you accept in time that what has happened cannot be undone, and your friend's love, friendship, and lessons will always be with you even if he or she is not.
- You can move on from hurt feelings by choosing to do so. You don't need anything from someone else to move on or let go. Try saying "I choose to forgive this person and move on with my life." You may not feel it or believe it at first, but that's okay.
- Recognize what's in and out of your control. Feeling in control of outcomes and the environment is associated with an increased sense of well-being. Feeling out of control can be threatening.[6] If you're having a hard time letting go of something, think about what is actually in your control. If you cannot control a situation, control how you '''respond''' to it.[7]
- For example, you may not be able to change the fact that you did not get accepted to medical school. However, you can control how you react to it and how much it affects how you feel. For example, you may feel sad, upset, and not smart enough. Yet, does this define how intelligent or worthy you are? Choose to maintain your sense of self even when you don't get what you want.
- Look at the big picture. While something may feel hugely impactful to you right now, ask yourself how it will affect your future. Will it ultimately matter in five years? Are there positive things that can happen, even if you didn't get what you wanted? Even if you feel disappointed now and don't know what to do, it doesn't mean that other opportunities will not arrive for you that will benefit you.[8]
- Think about what other opportunities may be available for you. Maybe you didn't get your dream job, but you may find a similar opportunity, or you may decide to pursue a different direction in your career.
- Consider, too, past disappointments. Did you eventually get over them? Did they impact your life irreparably, or were you able to move forward and let them go? This can help you gain perspective.
EditMoving Forward in Your Life - Accept change. Part of letting go is accepting change. If you were set on one particular outcome, letting go can be more difficult. Accepting change means moving out of living in the past and accepting your new present and future. Change is almost always uncomfortable at first, especially if you're not the one making the changes. Once you move past the discomfort, consider moving into a place of accepting your circumstances.[9]
- For example, if you wanted to buy a house but your offer was not accepted, acknowledge that you will not get the house. While you may feel disappointed, gather your efforts into looking at other houses that may also be a good fit.
- Find the positives in change. Think about the silver lining that may accompany letting go of what you cannot change. While you may feel devastated by the outcome of certain events or experience the pain of change and letting go, look for whatever positives can come from them.[10]
- You may realize you're much stronger and more resilient than you could have ever imagined. You may become clearer in the goals you want to pursue or what direction you want to take for your life. You may even recognize who your real and true friends are.
- For example, if you're struggling to let go of a breakup, you may realize that you have excellent support from friends who love you and help you through the hard times.
- Forgive. If you need to forgive someone in order to move forward, do so. Perhaps you resent your parents for not being there for you as a child or are bitter about a recent divorce. If other people have hurt you and you're struggling to let go because you still resent them, consider how forgiveness may help you accept what you cannot change. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you excuse their behavior or forget what happened. Forgiveness is about releasing yourself from the pain someone else has caused you.[11]
- For example, to a parent you can write or say, "You did your best, but I needed more from you when I was a child. Now that I'm an adult I can meet my own needs and forgive you for not being who I needed in the past."
- You don't need to offer forgiveness or let someone know you forgive them. You can do it privately, even with someone who has passed on.
EditGetting Help - Lean on friends and family. Find someone who is a good listener and who cares about you. Don't feel like you're a burden or that you're weak for talking about your feelings. Someone who cares about you will support you and be there for you when things are difficult. While it's best to meet with people in person, a phone call, email, or video call can also help.[12]
- Find time to meet with friends regularly. If you feel like isolating yourself, make an extra effort to connect with others.
- Remember to let your friends share about their lives, too, and do your share of listening. This can help negate any feeling that you are burdening them. Friendships are give and take, so encourage your friends and family to lean on you, too.
- Join a support group. A support group is a place to join with others who have similar experiences as you. It can be a place to share stories, offer support, give and receive advice, and connect with other people. If you feel alone in your struggles or like nobody can relate to you, a group can show you that you're not alone.[13]
- Join a local support group or find an online support group.
- See a therapist. If you're struggling to let go of something and think you may need some help or support, a therapist can be beneficial. Perhaps you're worried about new behaviors or habits you've started developing or you're not coping well with the stress. If you think you could benefit from talking about your difficulties, find a local therapist near you.[14]
- Find a therapist by calling your insurance provider, local mental health clinic, or general practitioner. You can also ask friends and family for a recommendation.
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Take Peppermint Oil Posted: 09 Jul 2017 09:00 AM PDT Peppermint oil can be used in plenty of topical and aromatic home remedies. In rare cases, it can also be helpful to take peppermint oil by way of ingestion. Be sure to get the advice of a healthcare professional when doing so, and take steps to ensure your safety, such as drinking water with peppermint oil capsules. It is important to note that taking peppermint oil by way of ingestion is medically used for only one purpose: the treatment of gastrointestinal discomfort. EditTaking Peppermint Oil Capsules - Speak with your doctor before ingesting essential oils. In general, ingesting essential oils such as peppermint oil is not recommended. While the practice is employed in some parts of the world, essential oils are unsafe to consume without professional medical guidance.[1]
- Ask about enteric-coated peppermint oil capsules. The menthol in peppermint may provide relief from the symptoms of gastrointestinal discomfort caused by irritable bowel syndrome, or IBS. In order to do so, however, the capsule must make it to your intestines without breaking down.[2]
- An enteric coating will help capsules pass through the stomach without breaking down.
- Enteric coating will also help reduce potential heartburn, which can be a side effect of taking peppermint oil capsules.
- Take peppermint oil only when necessary. As soon as you start experiencing symptoms of IBS, which may last for days at a time, take a capsule. Start with one at a time to see if this is enough. Take the capsules daily, for as long as digestive discomfort is bothering you.[3]
- If symptoms persist after taking one capsule, take two capsules before your next meal. Never take more than three capsules at one time.
- If you forget to take a dose, don't double up later. Simply resume the dosage that has been working.
- Take the capsules an hour before each meal. Similarly, avoid taking the capsules immediately before or after a meal. Taking a capsule with a meal can disrupt your digestion and prevent the capsule from helping.[4]
- Swallow the capsules with water. The capsules will come with information on how to take them, including things like how much water you should drink, and liquids you should avoid taking with the capsules. The important thing is to swallow the capsules whole, without chewing or breaking them in any way.[5]
- Do not take peppermint oil with other medications. Other indigestion medications, including antacids such as Tums, may interfere with your peppermint oil capsules and prevent them from working. Accordingly, avoid taking any other medications or herbal remedies for two hours preceding of following each dose.[6]
- If your symptoms persist, a treatment option other than peppermint oil may work better for you.
- Consider peppermint tea instead of peppermint oil. Peppermint teas is not only refreshing, it can help reduce some mild symptoms of indigestion. For instance, if you are experiencing gastrointestinal discomfort, peppermint tea may help. Get peppermint tea from your local grocery store or health food store or make your own.[7]
- To make your own, use 1-2 teaspoons of dried, ground peppermint leaves per cup of water. Boil the water first, then add the leaves once the water settles and let sit for 10-15 minutes.
- Peppermint tea will lose effectiveness in treating upset stomach if used habitually. Only use it when you have discomfort in the mid or upper portion of your belly.
EditConsidering Risks and Side Effects - Do not take essential oils regularly. Stated simply, essential oils can be toxic to the liver or kidneys if taken in unsafe quantities. Similarly, natural processes within your body may change the effect of the essential oils, and the oils may also interact negatively with medications, either suddenly or after extended use.[8]
- Be aware of risks specific to peppermint oil. Do not take peppermint oil if you are pregnant or breastfeeding. Do not take it if you're experiencing intense constipation, have passed blood in recent stools, or are experiencing irregular vaginal bleeding. Additional factors that may put you at risk include:[9]
- Loss of appetite or recent weight loss.
- Illness.
- Difficulty urinating.
- An allergy to menthol, peanuts, or soya.
- Watch out for side effects or allergic reactions. Most commonly, peppermint oil can cause heartburn, stomach indigestion, and a surprisingly burning in your backside. These side effects may subside once your body acclimates to the capsules. However, if any of these symptoms become especially bothersome, discontinue use of peppermint capsules and mention the side effects to your doctor.[10]
- Though uncommon, signs of peppermint allergy include rash, headache, feelings of shakiness or unsteadiness, and a slow heartbeat. If you experience these or any other unexpected effects, notify your doctor.
- Reduce alcohol consumption while taking peppermint oil. Alcohol consumption may increase the likelihood that you will experience side effects. It may also prevent peppermint oil from helping ease indigestion.[11]
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Make Fried Oreos Posted: 09 Jul 2017 01:00 AM PDT Wish you could enjoy deep-fried treats from the boardwalk or state fair in the comfort of your own home? Even if you don't have a deep fryer, it's easy to make a batch of these warm, golden brown fried Oreos in your kitchen. Remember, always use extreme caution around hot oil. - Prep time: 20 minutes
- Cook time: 8-10 minutes
- Total time: 30 minutes
EditIngredients - 1 cup dry pancake mix
- 2/3 cups milk
- 1 egg
- 1 1/2 teaspoons vegetable oil
- 18 Oreo cookies
- Cooking oil for frying (vegetable oil or canola oil)
- Confectioner's sugar, chocolate syrup, caramel syrup (optional)
EditPreparing the Oil - Pour 2-3 inches (5-7.5cm) cooking oil in a heavy cooking pot. The pot should be deep enough so the sides are at least 4 inches (10cm) higher than the oil. When deep frying, there should be enough oil to completely cover the food you are frying, but the pot should not be more than half way full of oil.[1]
- To fry, use a vegetable oil with a high smoking point and little to no flavor, like refined peanut oil, canola oil, grapeseed oil, or safflower oil.[2]
- If you don't have a heavy cooking pot, or one with a very thick, heavy bottom, you can use a wok or a deep sauté pan instead.[3]
- Heat the oil to 375ºF (191ºC). Use a frying, candy, or thermocouple thermometer. These thermometers show temperatures up to 500ºF (260°C).[4] To check temperature of the oil, hold it in the center of the pan. If your thermometer clips to the side of the pan it will be easy to keep track of the temperature as you work.[5]
- If you don't have a thermometer, stick a wooden spoon, skewer, or chopstick into the oil. If the oil bubbles around the wood, it's hot enough for frying.[6]
- You can also use a kernel of popcorn to check the temperature. It will pop in oil that is 350ºF (178ºC), so you will know when it is close to optimum frying temperature.[7]
- If the oil begins to smoke, it's too hot. Carefully removed your pan from the stove to cool.[8]
EditPreparing the Cookies - Combine pancake mix, eggs, milk, and vegetable oil in a large bowl and whisk until smooth. Your batter should not be runny--it should be thick and gooey so it will stick to the cookies.[9]
- If your batter is too thin, add 1/4 cup of pancake mix.[10]
- You can substitute funnel cake mix or waffle mix for pancake mix. Make sure it's thick enough to coat the Oreos.[11]
- Dip an Oreo in the pancake batter using tongs or your hands, coating it entirely with batter.[12] The cookie shouldn't sit in batter too long or it will get soggy, so only dip one at a time and then put it straight in the oil. The batter should be thick and sticky enough so you can't see through it to the chocolate cookie underneath.
- If you hand-dip the cookies, just use one of your hands--then you can use your "dry hand" to start frying the cookies and you won't need to stop to wash.
- If the cookies are coming apart or crumbling, put them in the freezer for 30-60 minutes. This also prevents the cream center from getting too melted when you fry it.
EditFrying the Cookies - Put the coated Oreo in the hot oil. Frying works best in small batches, so fry only 4 or 5 at a time, depending on the size of your pot. The cookies should have enough room to float around without touching each other and sticking together.[13]
- When adding cookies to the oil, the temperature will drop (especially if you froze the Oreos before hand). Keep the oil between 250ºF-325ºF (121ºC-163ºC) while frying.[14]
- Attempting to fry large batches will not only cause your batter to stick together, it will also lower the temperature of the oil too low and the dough won't get crispy.[15]
- Be careful when cooking with hot oil. Don't throw battered cookies into the pot--this would cause spattering, splashing, and a dangerous situation.[16]
- If you're afraid to use your hand to place the cookies in the oil, use tongs instead.[17]
- Cook Oreos until they are crispy golden brown, remembering to turn them over with tongs. The cookies will float on top of the oil and fry quickly--less than 2 minutes. Don't walk away from the pot or they may burn or over cook.[18]
- Keep the cookies moving as they fry so they don't stick together.
- Allow the oil to heat up between batches, back to 375ºF (191ºC). Use tongs or a strainer to remove bits of batter that may be floating in the oil.[19]
- Remove the fried cookies with tongs and place them on a paper towel to drain. Oil remains on the outer fried dough and won't reach the inside batter or cookie. Blotting excess grease will make this decadent treat slightly more healthy.[20]
- The oil provides the flavor and crunch of the cookie, so don't go overboard and soak up every last drop.[21]
- You can also drain the cookies on a wire rack, but using absorbent paper towel will remove more grease than letting it drip off on a wire rack.[22]
- Wait for the oil to cool, then use a funnel to pour it into an empty bottle. You can reuse the oil for deep frying (make sure to strain and remove any bits of batter floating around) or bring the oil to a donation point (often a waste management facility).[23]
- Never pour oil down the drain. It will block your plumbing.[24]
- If you can't find anywhere to recycle your cooking oil, make sure the lid is on tight and throw it in the trash or pour it over weeds.[25]
- If you plan to reuse your oil within the next few weeks, store it in a cold, dark place or the refrigerator so it will last longer.[26]
- If you don't have a funnel, pour the cooled oil into a paper cup, then pinch the top of the cup so you can easily pour it into the mouth of the sealable bottle or container.
- Serve warm. You can add a dusting of powdered sugar, vanilla ice cream, a drizzle of chocolate or caramel sauce, whipped cream, or any other garnish you'd like.
- Allow the cookies a minute or two to cool so your don't burn yourself, but do eat them while they're still warm! Keep finished cookies in an oven on low heat (about 200ºF or 93ºC) if you're doing a large batch so they will stay warm until they are served.[27]
- Never use water, flour, or sugar to put out a grease fire. Use baking soda, the lid or a damp towel to smother the flames. Remember to turn the stove off.
- Make sure an adult helps you with this project--hot cooking oil is dangerous and can quickly start a fire or cause serious burns.
EditThings You'll Need - Deep fryer or heavy-bottomed pot, deep saute pan, or wok
- Long tongs
- Thermometer (frying, candy)
- Paper towels
- Large bowl
- Empty glass bottle
- Funnel
- Whisk
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