| How to Cope with the End of a Long Friendship Posted: 21 Jul 2017 05:00 PM PDT All friendships are prone to disagreements or problems at times, but sometimes these can cause irreparable harm. Dealing with the end of a long term friendship can be particularly tough as this person likely knows you well and is very integrated into your life. You can cope with this loss through focusing on your healing, maintaining your current friendships, and practicing self-care. EditHealing After the Loss - Cry it out. Though you might feel the need to be tough, realize that the true sign of strength is being able to be vulnerable. You cannot heal if you stifle your emotions. When you feel the urge to cry, do so. If you are at work or in public, step away to the restroom for a few moments.[1]
- Allowing yourself to be vulnerable will make it easier to process negative or unresolved emotions in the long run. Don't be afraid to let everything out.[2]
- Avoid constantly ruminating over the loss, however. Schedule time each day to think about it, cry, and mourn your relationship. Once that time is over, move on to something else.
- Write a letter. If your friendship ended abruptly or in anger, you may not have had the chance to say goodbye. You do not need to send this letter nor do you need to bash your friend in it. Consider reflecting on the positive memories that you had with them, acknowledging the value the friendship added to your life, but then end the letter with a goodbye.[3]
- Acknowledge what you did wrong in the letter or what you could have done differently, but don't fixate on it. What's done is done.
- Write in your journal. Beyond a letter, you can also benefit from some daily reflections surrounding the loss. Each day, perhaps when you come home from work or school or when you are feeling overwhelmed with sadness, take a few moments to write down your thoughts and how you are feeling.[4]
- Meditate. Meditation can be a great tool in helping you stay present, focused and relaxed rather than constantly thinking about your lost friendship. Meditation helps to clear the mind so that you can think more logically and calmly about issues you are facing. Take ten minutes each day, either in the morning or when you get home, to meditate in a quiet space where you will be uninterrupted.[5]
- There are several meditation apps available for download including "Calm" and "Headspace."
- Avoid social media. Social media will only trigger you to think about your friend more, thus making it more difficult for you to cope and move on. For the next few weeks, stay off of social media as much as possible. Deactivate your accounts or simply delete the apps from your phone.[6]
- If you must still use social media, then you can at least unfollow or unfriend your old friend so that you don't see the things they post. You might even consider blocking them.
- If you're tempted to call your friend, consider blocking their number as well.
- Give yourself time. It can take six weeks to fully grieve from the loss of a deep friendship, although it sometimes takes as long as two years. You shouldn't expect to wake up a few days later and feel completely normal and fine. Don't rush the process, be gentle with yourself, and give yourself space to heal.[7]
- Develop a plan for when you see them. You might have some anxiety surrounding how you will deal the next time you see them, especially if you two work together or are in the same friend group. Or you might see them out and about in the city one day, as well. Plan a script in your head so that you feel prepared at all times.[8]
- It can be very simple like "Hello, Janine. I hope you're doing well." And then you can walk away.
- You don't have to approach them, but if you are in close proximity, at least you have a few words that you can speak that are both polite and short.
- It may help to tell mutual friends about the end of the relationship so they can help you steer clear of your former friend.
- Reach out for professional help. Many people often only consider the breakup of a romantic relationship as being tough, but a longtime friendship dissolving can be equally as heartbreaking. Notice signs of depression that could become debilitating. If you feel that you cannot get out of bed, don't enjoy life any longer, or can't keep up with your basic responsibilities, consider getting outside help. Look for therapists in your area.[9]
EditManaging Current Friendships - Don't make your mutual friends pick. Even if your friend did something bad to you, don't talk badly about them to your mutual friends. Never make your friends pick between the two of you, as this will put them in an impossible situation, and you might find that they won't choose you.[10]
- Say instead "I want you to know that you don't have to choose sides. I have been friends with you for a while, too and I really want to maintain our friendship."
- Make it clear that you don't want to see your former friend so your mutual friends can take it into account when planning parties or other events.
- Take this loss as a lesson. Improve from what you learned at the end of this friendship. Though your friend may be to blame, acknowledge any role that you played, as well. You can learn a lot from both your own mistakes and those of your former friend. Work to be a better friend and choose better friends in the future.[11]
- However, don't beat yourself up about the mistakes you made. Learn from them, and move on.
- Ask others for their perspectives on the friendship. They might be able to offer a more objective view, and this can teach you even more.
- Always be loyal and honest with your friends.
- Look for the silver lining. Ending a friendship can be difficult, but it often comes with positives, too. For example, maybe you are now free to pursue interesting activities that you couldn't before.
- Spend time with your other friends. Though you likely had many mutual friends, spend some time with those that you did not have in common. Though you should not forsake your mutual friends, they will serve as strong reminders of the friendship that you lost, and that could delay the healing process.
- Connect with family, as well.
- Remember to spend time alone. Though being around people during this time is good, spending time alone will be instrumental in your healing. Avoid making plans with people every single day, and opt for every other day instead.
EditTaking Care of Yourself - Exercise. During this time of coping, taking care of yourself will be vitally important. In caring for your mental and emotional state, don't forget to care for the physical, as well. Try to exercise at least three times per week for a minimum of thirty minutes. Take a walk around the block or join a gym.[12]
- Get sleep. Sleep helps you to recharge and gives you some temporary relief from your sadness. Often times, when you go to sleep, you wake up feeling slightly better about what was troubling you the night before. Commit to getting at least seven hours of sleep per night.[13]
- Do things that you enjoy. When you are feeling sad about something, you often do not engage with the activities that you used to enjoy. However, when you do this, it tends to make you feel worse. Challenge yourself to keep up your hobbies and interests, even if in small doses.
- Continue to read, dance, watch your favorite shows, cook or do anything else that you enjoy.
- Try new activities with new people! Check out websites like https://www.meetup.com, an online platform that connects you with people in your area who want to participate in similar activities.
- Avoid constant busyness. Though you should set up a schedule for yourself, avoid having something to do at every moment of the day. It's tempting to use busy work to block out negative emotions, but it's not helpful in the long run. Give yourself some downtime so that you can process, heal and adjust to your new life.
- Try enjoying some quiet time in nature.
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| How to Wash a Motorcycle Posted: 21 Jul 2017 09:00 AM PDT Washing your motorcycle isn't just about keeping your sweet ride looking great. If you don't wash your bike regularly and correctly, you'll risk damaging its looks and its parts. Giving your dirty motorcycle a bath, however, doesn't require more than some basic supplies like water, a sponge, and detergent. Polish up details like the wheels and any chrome before you finish, and your bike will soon be turning heads again. EditPre-Cleaning Your Motorcycle - Let your bike cool down. Spraying water all over a hot engine is a recipe for disaster: the sudden change in temperature can crack the engine block. Even if you've just gone down a wet country road and your motorcycle's caked in mud, let it cool down before you begin.[1]
- Get your cleaning gear together. While you're waiting for your motorcycle to cool down, why not grab the supplies you'll need to clean it? All of the supplies you'll need can be found at your local auto or motorcycle shop. Make sure to gather:[2]
- A bucket
- A clean sponge or two
- Several clean, dry cloths (chamois or microfiber)
- Degreaser and/or WD-40
- An old toothbrush (to help clean tight places)
- Auto/motorcycle wax (optional)
- Bug and tar remover (if needed)
- Chrome cleaner (if needed)
- Start by cleaning the chain. If your motorcycle has a chain, getting the dirt and grease off of it first is a smart move. This keeps the grime from splashing all over the rest of your bike while you're trying to clean it. Use an approved chain degreaser if you can find one at your local shop. Spray it on the chain to loosen debris, then wipe it away with a clean cloth.[3]
- WD-40 will also work as a solvent to loosen grease and dirt.
- Make sure to apply lubricant to your chain again once you are done cleaning your motorcycle.
- Clean the non-chrome engine parts with water and solvent. Before starting on the body, take care of any other nooks and crannies around the engine area that need special attention. Dip an old toothbrush in clean, cool water and gently scrub dirt and debris away. Spray WD-40 on the gunk if you need extra help removing it.[4]
- Generally, however, keep away from the brake lines and bearings. Getting water into these areas can cause corrosion and other problems.
EditWashing the Body - Rinse the bike with cool water. This will help loosen any dirt and rinse as much of it away as possible, making the cleaning process easier. Just make sure to use a gentle stream of water from a hose. High-pressure sprays can damage the finish, paint or other materials, and should be avoided.[5]
- Rub the whole body with a soft sponge or cloth. A little elbow grease at this point will help remove additional grime. Dip a sponge or soft cloth in a bucket of cool water, and wipe it all over the body of your motorcycle.[6]
- If you are cleaning your bike to remove salt from it (such as after riding on a winter road), just use water in this way, then skip to waxing it. Using detergents or other cleaners might make the salt problem worse.
- Clean plastic parts with slightly soapy water. If your motorcycle has plastic parts on the body, it's just fine to use an approved auto detergent. Add some to a bucket of cool water, and wipe the parts with a sponge dipped in the suds.[7]
- Rinse the entire motorcycle again. After you've cleared off all the muck and grime from your bike, grab your hose again. Use a gentle spray to wash away the last of the dirt and any traces of suds. If there's not much to clear off, you can also dip a clean sponge into clear, cool water, and use this to rinse the bike.[8]
- Wipe off excess water and let your bike dry. Take a dry chamois or microfiber cloth and gently rub down your motorcycle. This will wick away the water left on it, so that there won't be any water spots left as your bike air-dries.[9]
- Don't let your motorcycle dry in direct sunlight, since this can also cause water spots.
- Buff your seat with an approved protectant. Motorcycle seats can be made from a variety of materials. Vinyl and leather are the most common. Vinyl seats are quite tough, but can fade and crack over time. Use an approved vinyl protectant to halt these problems. Leather seats are more delicate, but using a leather care cream will protect yours.[10]
- Protectants for vinyl and leather can be found at any auto or motorcycle supply store.
- Do not use detergents on leather.
EditDetailing Your Ride - Remove stubborn bug grime. Any biker knows that a nice ride can leave your motorcycle looking you waged war against a swarm of flies. If your motorcycle is caked in bug goo, soak it liberally with bug and tar remover. After the grime is loosened, use a soft sponge or cloth to wipe it away, and another damp one to remove any leftover residue.[11]
- Clean aluminium wheels with soapy water. Many modern bikes have lightweight aluminum wheels. If you want to clean yours, use only soapy water and a soft cloth. Rinse with water and wipe with a dry cloth.[12]
- Abrasive cleaners or tools can damage the finish or paint on wheels, so avoid these.
- If you have traditional chrome wheels, use chrome cleaner instead.
- Use car or motorcycle wax for added protection. A quality wax can protect the finish of your bike and keep dirt and grime away. Apply this after the rest of your bike is thoroughly cleaned. Follow the directions on your commercial wax spray or rub. Each product will have slightly different instructions.[13]
- Spray protectant on your bearings. The bearings are one of the most important but delicate parts of a motorcycle. A dedicated protective spray will help coat the bearings and keep moisture and dirt at bay. See your chosen product's package for the exact application instructions.[14]
- Test your motorcycle's brakes and lubricate the drive chain before riding to ensure that it is safe for use.[15]
- Don't put any protectant sprays on the hand or foot controls, the seat or the tire treads. Cleaning products can make these surfaces slippery, and your motorcycle may then become dangerous to operate.[16]
- Use only approved auto or motorcycle products for cleaning your bike. Detergents and solvents not intended for cleaning vehicles may harm your motorcycle's finish, paint, or parts.
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| How to Highlight Your Hair Naturally Posted: 21 Jul 2017 01:00 AM PDT Whether your hair is dark, brown, blonde or red, the process of highlighting brings out its natural bright tones. Spending time in the sun is an easy, effective way to naturally highlight your hair, but if you want to speed the process along, there are other natural ways to boost the golden hues in your hair. Learn how to use a variety of household supplies to achieve a stylish highlighted look. EditUsing Lemon Juice - Juice lemons. Cut the lemons in half. Use a juicer or your fingers to squeeze their juice into a bowl. Get as much juice out of the lemons as possible, especially if you have longer hair.[1]
- You could also add some cinnamon and conditioner for extra highlighting.
- Make sure to strain or pick out the seeds, so they don't clog your spray bottle.
- Avoid using bottled lemon juice. It contains preservatives that aren't good for your hair.
- The precise amount of lemons you'll need varies depending on how long your hair is.
- Mix the lemon juice with water in a spray bottle. You should use two parts lemon juice to one part water. Measure your lemon juice and then add the proper amount of water to the juice. For example, two cups of lemon juice would require a cup of water. Shake the spray bottle to mix the lemon juice and water together.[2]
- If you're using an old spray bottle, make sure it is thoroughly washed before you pour in the lemon juice. Avoid using a bottle that contained toxic chemicals.
- Spray your hair with the lemon mixture. Concentrate on the parts you want to lighten. You can coat your hair all over or focus on a few strands, depending on what you're trying to achieve.[3]
- If you want a more precise application, dip a cotton ball in the lemon juice mixture and rub it on the strands of hair you wish to highlight.
- The more lemon juice you apply to your hair, the lighter it will get.
- Sit in the sun for several sessions. Lemon juice works in conjunction with the sun's natural rays to lighten hair. Try to sit in the sun about three or four times during the day. Each session should be between one and two hours.[4]
- Make sure you protect your face and body with sunscreen and clothing while sitting in direct sunlight.
- There is no precise time frame to follow between sessions. Simply get in the sessions when you're able to go outside.
- Wash and condition your hair. Thoroughly rinse the lemon juice mixture from your hair. Then, wash and condition it with moisturizing products. When your hair is dry, you'll be able to see the highlights.[5]
EditUsing Chamomile Tea - Brew a pot of chamomile tea. Use either dried chamomile flowers or 3 to 4 teabags to brew a very strong pot of tea. Allow it to cool once it has brewed. It should not be so hot to the touch it causes pain, as you'll be applying this to your scalp.[6]
- Rinse your hair with the tea. Stand over the sink and pour the tea over your hair if you'd like to lighten your hair all over. Alternatively, apply the chamomile tea to the strands of your hair you wish to highlight.[7]
- Sit in the sun to let it react with the tea. Allow the tea to dry in your hair by sitting out in the sun. There is no precise amount of time to sit, although longer is generally better.[8]
- Wash and condition your hair. Rinse the tea from your hair. Then, wash and condition it with moisturizing products. When your hair is dry, you'll see mild lightening and some highlights.
- Repeat the process. You're unlikely to see dramatic results with chamomile tea right away. Chamomile usually gradually lightens your hair over time. You may need to try this method a few days in a row to get your desired results.[9]
EditUsing Honey - Mix honey and water in a bowl. Honey has natural traces of hydrogen peroxide, so it's a great means to lighten hair. Add about a tablespoon of raw honey to a bowl with a cup of water. Use a spoon of whisk to the honey together until you have an even mixture.[10]
- Apply the mixture to your hair. Decide whether you want to lighten all of your hair or just a few strands. You can rub the honey/water mixture all throughout your head, or simply add the mixture to a few strands of your hair.[11]
- To highlight individual strands, it can be easier to use a cotton ball or a pastry brush to paint the mixture onto the strands you want to lighten.
- Let the mixture sit in your hair overnight. Put on a shower cap. Let the mixture sit in overnight to lighten your hair. If you don't want to let it sit in overnight, you can let it sit in for 30 to 60 minutes. However, overnight will generally yield more dramatic results.[12]
- Shampoo and condition your hair. Wash the honey out completely after letting it sit. It can take some extra effort, as honey is sticky. When it dries, it should appear lighter in color. Repeat the process for even lighter results.
EditUsing Henna - Make sure henna is the right option. Henna usually turns hair a reddish brown color. If your hair is naturally very dark, this will likely be lighter than your normal shade. However, if your hair is naturally light, henna may actually darken it. Use henna for darker hair and if you want a touch of red.[13]
- Make a paste with henna. You should make your paste 12 hours before you plan to dye your hair. Mix of henna powder with enough boiling water to make a thick, workable paste. You can either use a spoon, a chopstick, or something similar to stir. Place your mixture somewhere safe to let it cool.[14]
- Prepare to apply the henna. Henna stains skin and clothes, so wear an old long-sleeved shirt and gloves for protection. Spread lotion or cream on your neck and hairline to avoid staining these areas with henna.[15]
- Massage the henna mixture into your hair. Use gloves when applying henna. Either cover your entire head with henna or just apply it to the strands you want to lighten. Be as thorough as possible, striving to saturate your hair or individuals strands with the henna paste. Cover your head with a plastic shower cap when you're done to keep the henna from drying out too fast.[16]
- Let the mixture sit for two to three hours. After two to three hours have passed, remove the shower cap and apply conditioner to your hair. Rise out the henna and conditioner before shampooing and styling your hair as normal.[17]
- Wear a towel over your shoulders when applying any mixtures to your hair to keep your clothing and skin protected.
- As so many of these methods involve waiting overnight or require a great deal of time, plan ahead. You may need to do them on a day you're not busy.
- Do not repeat any highlighting method more than once or twice per week. Doing so may cause your hair to become dry and brittle.
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