| How to Make a Calm Down Jar Posted: 08 Jul 2017 05:00 PM PDT When your child becomes anxious or upset, it may seem impossible to console them. It often takes more than just a few soothing words to bring them back from the verge of a tantrum or nervous episode—it takes something like a calm down jar. Calm down jars are a type of craft therapy that allows agitated children to refocus their attention on something pretty and peaceful, which can have a tremendous tranquilizing effect. To create your own calm down jar at home, you'll need a plastic jar or bottle, a little hot water, a few drops of food coloring and some glitter. EditFilling the Calm Down Jar - Choose a suitable container. For your calm down jar, you can start with any safe, transparent container. Plastic containers will be your best bet, as they're less likely to break and cause accidents. The container you go with should have a solid one-piece lid or cap that screws on and stays put.[1]
- Mason jars are a good place to start if you have older children that you trust to handle glass.
- Many crafters recommend Voss or SmartWater bottles for their large size and smooth, sturdy construction.[2]
- Fill the jar or bottle with water. Turn on the tap and run warm water into the jar until it's about three quarters of the way full. From here, you'll add each of the other components individually. Together, they'll form a suspension in the water.[3]
- Warm water will help melt the glue, resulting in a smoother suspension with no noticeable globs or separation.
- Leave an inch or two of space at the top of the container so that the glitter mixture has room to move when shaken.[4]
- Pour in the glitter glue. Stir the glue to distribute it throughout the water and break up any clumps. For larger containers, use 1-2 small tubes of glitter glue. For small calm down jars, a single tube will likely do the trick.[5]
- Use a toothpick or cotton swab to assist in scraping the glue out of the slender tubes.
- Add a few drops of food coloring. Swish the jar gently to help the food coloring diffuse throughout the water-glue mixture. The amount you use is largely up to you. Less food coloring will give the jar a bright, translucent look, whereas denser color will produce a mesmerizing galactic swirl.[6]
- Stir in the food coloring gradually until you reach the desired shade.
- Be careful not to add too much color. This will darken the contents of the jar and make it difficult to see the glitter.[7]
- Shake in a little extra glitter. Grab an additional tube of extra-fine glitter and funnel it into the opening of the jar. The glitter is the main attraction of the calm down jar and should be pretty concentrated, so don't be afraid to use a lot. You and your child can decide when your calm down jar has just the right level of shimmer.[8]
- The more glitter you use, the longer it will take to settle.
- Play around with different proportions of ingredients to change the speed of the jar.[9]
- Glue the lid into place. Now that all the necessary components are in place, top off the jar the rest of the way with water, leaving about half an inch of space at the top. Dab the underside of the lid with a strong adhesive, like super glue or rubber cement. Twist it firmly into place over the opening of the jar or bottle. Allow several minutes for the adhesive to take hold.[10]
- This will keep the lid securely attached to the jar so that there's no risk of it being pried off by small children or coming dislodged if it's dropped.
- Be careful when handling strong adhesives. Since there will be glitter everywhere, there's a lot of potential to make a mess.
EditCustomizing Your Jar - Make jars in an assortment of colors. Don't stop at just one calm down jar—create as many as you please! Pick out a few bold complementary colors, or fill each of the jars with a different color and create a rainbow display. Letting your child gaze at their favorite color will only enhance the calming effect of the jar.[11]
- Make enough calm down jars for every child in the household to have their own. This will help prevent stressful arguments over what belongs to who.
- Soft colors like blue, pink, green and lavender are especially soothing.[12]
- Add fun glitter shapes. Purchase a special craft glitter to mix in with the regular glitter and glitter glue. When you shake the jar, you'll be able to see smiley faces, stars and dinosaurs floating around inside. This is a great way to add a more personal touch to the jar and encourage your child's creative interests.[13]
- Check craft supply stores for unique and interesting types of glitter.
- Try out different containers. In addition to ordinary jars and bottles, look for other items that might make good calm down jar. An unused sunscreen or condiment bottle can be cleaned out and turned into a perfect travel-sized calm down jar. You could also make an oversized version using a repurposed peanut or pickle jar that all the little ones can gather around at once.[14]
- Make sure the container you select is clear, can be gripped easily and won't shatter if it's dropped or thrown.[15]
- Fill a keychain bottle of hand sanitizer with glitter to give your kids something to play with while you're grocery shopping.
EditUsing the Calm Down Jar - Hold the jar in both hands and shake. Vigorously shaking the jar will give your child a physical outlet to blow off steam while they're still worked up. They can jostle it as hard as they want for as long as they want until their frustration begins to subside. When shaken, the liquid inside the jar will shift, causing the glitter to dance in a brilliant cascade.[16]
- Demonstrate how the jar works and explain that it's supposed to make you feel better when you're unhappy.[17]
- Make sure small children can safely hold and shake the jar themselves. If not, you can get it started for them.
- Watch the glitter swirl until it settles. After shaking the jar, your child can sit and marvel at the movement within, which will soon become slow and serene. Observing the shimmering liquid can be quite enthralling. With their attention on the jar, they'll forget about what it was that upset them in the first place.[18]
- It will take a few minutes for the glitter to completely settle, during which time your child's mind and heart rate will stop racing.
- Help your child work through their emotions. Have your child sit or lie down while they're focused on the jar. If they're still anxious or irritable, get them to concentrate on taking deep, relaxing breaths. Before long, they'll find their mood settling along with the glitter.[19]
- Calm down jars work because they subconsciously mirror your child's emotional state. They'll be responding to the behavior of the jar without even being aware of it.
- Encourage them to keep the calm down jar in their room or take it with them to a quiet place where they can have a few minutes alone to cool off.
- Have your kids lend a hand with putting together the calm down jars for a fun family craft project.
- Calm down jars can be a productive alternative to traditional punishments, which usually just make children even more upset.
- To thicken the glitter mixture for a slower swirl, use extra glitter glue or corn syrup.
- Save and clean out used kitchen containers to convert them into calm down jars.
- Keep antsy kids occupied during long road trips or while you're out running errands.
- Bring out the calm down jar just before bedtime to help your child fall asleep easier.
- Shake up the jar and use it as a timer when you have to enforce a timeout.
- Broken glass poses a risk of injury. Opt for plastic containers if you have small children or hardwood floors, just to be on the safe side.
- Calm down jars contain mildly toxic chemicals. Make sure the lid of the jar is securely attached to keep your child from accidentally ingesting the fluid inside.
EditThings You'll Need - Transparent jar, bottle or other container
- Warm water
- Glitter glue
- Glitter
- Food coloring
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Grow and Care for Asiatic Lilies Posted: 08 Jul 2017 09:00 AM PDT Asiatic lilies are easy to care for and thrive in a variety of climate zones. They do need a period of cooler temperatures to overwinter, so they aren't the best choice for locations that are warm year-round. For the healthiest outdoor garden, choose a planting area with well-drained soil that receives lots of sunlight. Plant your bulbs in the fall to keep your lilies on their normal bloom cycle. You can also grow Asiatic lilies in containers any time between early spring and late fall. Just make sure the pot you use is deep enough to encourage a strong root system. EditPlanting in a Garden - Choose plants hardy for your zone. Asiatic lilies are generally hardy plants, but need a cool period for overwintering. For this reason, they're not the best choice for outdoor gardens in regions that don't experience cooler winter temperatures.[1]
- Your local home improvement store or nursery will likely carry plants appropriate for your area. Check with staff for help choosing plants that will thrive in your climate.
- You can also look for a local public garden or arboretum. Their plants will most likely be labeled, which will help you choose varieties for your own garden.
- Choose a well-drained planting area that gets six hours of sunlight. Your planting area should have enough drainage that water doesn't pool after heavy rain. It should receive at least six hours of full sunlight, preferably in the early morning or late afternoon.[2]
- Lilies can tolerate less than six hours of sun, but less light exposure will result in spindly plants that produce fewer blooms and lean toward the sun.
- Plant bulbs in the fall and avoid storing them. Planting in the fall will keep plants in a normal blooming cycle. Plant bulbs as soon as you bring them home. Asiatic lily bulbs will dry out quickly, since they lack a paper-like covering called a tunic.[3]
- You can plant bulbs in the early spring, and they'll likely flower later in the year then readjust to their normal bloom cycle the following year.
- Add well-draining organic matter to the soil. Remove rocks and other debris from the soil, and loosen it with a garden tiller if it's tightly compacted. Use the tiller to incorporate a layer of organic matter, such as peat moss, at least six inches (15 cm) deep into the soil. This will help ensure your soil can provide enough drainage for your lilies.[4]
- Plant lilies in well-spaced groups of three to five bulbs. Plant a group of three to five similarly-sized bulbs about six inches (15 cm) deep, measuring from the top of the bulbs. Space the bulbs about eight inches (20 cm) apart. Be sure to plant bulbs with their tops facing up.[5]
- You can tell a bulb's top from its bottom by looking for the pointed tip at the top and the hair-like roots at the bottom.
- Repeat planting groups of bulbs until you've planted all of your bulbs. Space each group about three feet (about a meter) apart.
- Cover with mulch to insulate the bulbs. If you're planting in the fall, cover your planting area loosely with four to six inches (10 to 15 cm) of mulch before the first frost. A layer of winter mulch will help delay the soil from freezing, giving the bulbs a little extra time to establish their roots. It will also help minimize temperature fluctuations, which will make the shoots stronger come springtime.[6]
EditGrowing in Containers - Choose a deep container for healthy plants. A deep pot is essential for growing healthy Asiatic lilies in a container. Go for a container with a diameter of at least nine inches (23 cm) and a depth of eight inches (20 cm) or more.[7]
- A pot at this minimum size can accommodate one large bulb with a diameter of four to five inches (10 to 12 cm) or three to four smaller bulbs with diameters less than three inches (eight cm).[8]
- Place a layer of drainage material at the bottom of the container. Before filling the pot with soil, you'll need to add a layer of drainage material. Spread two inches (five cm) of small rocks, gravel, or another suitably loose material at the base of the pot.[9]
- If you've recently broken a pot, you can use its pieces for part of your drainage layer.
- Fill the container with well-draining potting soil. Asiatic lilies aren't terribly fussy about their soil, but it does need to drain well. For best results, look for a potting soil labeled for lilies at your local garden center or nursery. If you have soil on hand that feels too moist and dense, mix four parts of it with one part peat moss or horticultural grit.[10]
- Plant a group of bulbs at least as deep as their height. Roughly measure or estimate the height of the bulb or bulbs you're planting. Dig a hole at least twice as deep as bulbs' approximate height. That way, you'll be able to cover each bulb with a soil depth equal to its height, measuring from the top.[11]
- If you're planting more than one bulb, space them about two inches (five cm) apart.
- Place your container in a well-lit area. If you're keeping your container indoors, choose a spot less than three feet away from a window. It should receive six to eight hours of direct sunlight.[12]
- If you're keeping your container outdoors, choose a well-lit area that won't get drenched in rain. Go for a covered area or a spot in a wall's rain shadow.
- Transfer potted lilies to the garden or a cool area for overwintering. Potted lilies shouldn't be kept in warm indoor environments all year long. You can keep indoor plants in their pots until the late fall, then plant them in your outdoor garden.[13]
- If your location doesn't experience cool winters, consider overwintering Asiatic lilies in a cooler set to a temperature of about 40 degrees Fahrenheit (4.4 degrees Celsius).
EditCaring for Asiatic Lilies - Fertilize your lilies when shoots and buds appear. Lilies planted outdoors will start to send shoots in the early spring. When the last threat of frost has passed, remove the layer of winter mulch. Spread a loose two inch (five cm) layer of high phosphorous, slow-release fertilizer at the first sight of shoots.[14]
- Fertilize the plants once more when they start to produce buds.
- Water your plants once per week. Water indoor containers and outdoor gardens about once per week. The soil should dry slightly, but you should avoid letting it dry out completely. Avoid completely soaking the soil or letting water pool.[15]
- Water the plants close to the soil to avoid getting leaves wet. Keeping the leaves from getting wet will help you prevent disease.
- Remove flowers when they start to fade and drop. Deadhead fading flowers by gently breaking them off or clipping them. Take care to only remove spent flowers, leaving stems and foliage intact.[16]
- Deadheading your plants will keep them from wasting energy on producing seeds.
- Cut the stems and foliage when they're no longer green. After your plants bloom, keep their stems and foliage intact as long as they remain green. When they turn yellow or brown, cut the stems back so the plant can overwinter.[17]
- Leaving green foliage intact as long as possible is vital, as it will keep producing energy that will help it overwinter.
EditThings You'll Need - Asiatic lily bulbs
- Garden trowel
- Peat moss
- Mulch
- High-phosphorous, slow-release fertilizer
- Deep potting container
- Potting soil
- Pebbles or gravel
- Watering can or garden hose
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Talk to Loved Ones About Their Mental Illness Posted: 08 Jul 2017 01:00 AM PDT Supporting and talking to a loved one with mental illness can make a world of difference. To have a meaningful conversation, find a safe place where your loved one can open up to you about their struggles. As you talk, express your support and commitment to their mental health while allowing them to guide the discussion. If they would like your help, you can reach out to professionals and groups for more information. It is important to stay in contact with your loved one, even after having a talk with them. Even short conversations can have a large impact. EditStarting the Conversation - Find a way to talk privately. The best place to have a conversation is in a private, quiet area. Your loved one should feel secure and comfortable in this space. You might have the conversation while talking a walk, or you might sit them down in your living room, kitchen, or bedroom.[1]
- Minimize distractions as much as possible. Turn off the TV and music. If there are other people in the room, ask them if they would mind giving you some privacy.
- Ask them how they are feeling. The first question you ask should be about their emotional state. A simple and sincere "How are you?" can encourage them to start talking.
- If that is too broad, or they respond with a one-word answer like "Fine," then you may want to be a bit more specific. You can say something like, "I've noticed that you've seem kind of anxious lately. Can you tell me what is concerning you?"
- If they have a diagnosed mental illness, you might say, "I just wanted to check in to see how you are doing. What kind of experiences have you been having at work/home/school?"
- If you suspect a mental illness but they have not been diagnosed, don't be afraid to engage them in conversation. Just make sure you are speaking from a place of compassion.
- State your concerns. If your loved one has demonstrated specific, troubling behaviors, such as increased substance use or anger issues, you might want to state these at the outset. Be gentle, and do not accuse the other person.[2]
- Some signs of mental illness include anxiety, detachment, changes in sleeping or eating habits, substance abuse, social withdrawal, self-harm, inability to concentrate, poor hygiene, lack of grooming, mood fluctuations, or an inability to complete basic daily tasks.[3]
- Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements to soften what you are saying. Instead of saying, "You seem really anti-social lately," you might say, "I have noticed that you're not coming out of your room very often. Is everything ok?"
- Ask if they want to talk. It can be very difficult for people to discuss their mental illness. If they are not ready to talk, do not push them. Let them know that you are available to talk whenever they need it. Just by expressing your willingness to support them, you may be helping them already.[4]
- You can say, "You say that you have been really depressed lately. Do you want to talk about it?"
- If they say that they do not want to talk, you should say, "That's ok. Just know that I am here for you when you need it. If you ever do want to talk, let me know."
- Avoid arguing. Some people may deny that they have a problem. Others may resist your attempts to help. Do not argue with your loved one if they do not cooperate with your attempts to talk. Doing so will only drive them away. Instead, calmly reaffirm your commitment to them.[5]
- If they insist that there is not a problem, you might say, "I'm glad to hear it, but if there ever is a problem, you can come to me."
- If they have a substance abuse problem, suicidal tendencies, or violent outbursts, you may need to contact a professional to intervene. If they are a possible threat to themselves or others, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency department for a mental health evaluation.
EditOffering Support - Listen. Once you have started the conversation, your primary role will be to listen to your loved one. Let them talk about their feelings. Try not to interrupt too often, even if it is to offer an encouraging word. It is best to let them say everything that they have to say.
- When you do speak up, try to offer support by repeating their feelings back to them. This will express that you are listening to them and that you understand how they feel. You might say, "I hear that you are really anxious about the future."[6]
- Show that you care. Reaffirm to your loved one that you care for them. Tell them that you are there for them no matter what. This simple gesture will help them understand that they have a support system.[7]
- You might say, "I want you to know that I will always be here for you. Whatever you need, you can let me know."
- Take their concerns seriously. Avoid telling your loved one that their problems are temporary or that they can just snap out of it. Mental illness can be very difficult to treat. Instead, tell them that you believe their concerns.[8]
- You might say, "I understand that you are feeling hopeless. I will do what I can to help you."
- Mental illness is complicated, and it cannot be solved by diet, exercise, meditation, or medication alone. While you can gently encourage exercise or diet, do not focus on these as cures. For example, you should not say, "You should take vitamins. That will make you feel better."
- Ask if they are thinking of suicide. If you are worried that your loved one might be thinking about suicide, you should ask them if they are thinking of hurting themselves. Do not be afraid to ask, thinking that directly asking them will "plant" the idea in their head. Take any indication of suicidal behavior seriously.
- Some signs of suicidal behavior include giving away possessions, saying goodbye to people, making a plan, talking about how they are a burden on others, talking about giving up, or talking about having no reason to live.[9]
- You might ask, "Are you thinking of hurting yourself?"
- If they say something like "I can't go on anymore," or "It's just too much to bear," you might ask directly, "Are you thinking of suicide?"[10]
- Call emergency services (911 in the US) or take your loved one to a mental health psychiatric facility (this includes the ER) immediately for assessment.
EditFinding Professional Help - Ask them if they want help. Before you attempt to find counseling or professional support for your loved one, you should make sure that they want your assistance. Ask them if they would like you to help them get therapy or other services.[11]
- You might start by asking them what type of help they want. For example, you might say, "How do you want to approach this issue?"
- If they are not already in counseling, you might say, "Do you think you should get therapy? Would you like me to help you find a good therapist?"
- If they are already in therapy or if they are resistant to the idea of therapy, you might say, "What can I do to help you?"
- If they say that they do not want your help, try to avoid pushing the issue. If they are not in any danger to themselves, you might revisit the issue in a month or two. If you believe that they are suicidal, do not try to negotiate with them: contact a professional immediately or call 911.
- Research their condition. If they have a diagnosed mental illness, you should try to find out as much as you can about it so you that you can learn specific techniques for talking to them in the future. Try not to use this information to preach potential cures at them. Rather, learn about their illness so that you can better understand their struggle.[12]
- You might want to look up what type of therapist or counseling they need to help you find a professional in your area.
- Search for a mental health professional. If they have expressed that they would like your help in getting therapy, you can look for mental health services, counseling, therapy, and crisis centers in your area. If the loved one is under the age of 18, you may be responsible for finding them this help.
- You can ask your doctor for a referral to a good therapist. There are many different types of therapists, including psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and family therapists.[13]
- You can call SAMHSA at 1-877-726-4727 to locate nearby mental health services and support.[14]
- Find a support group. Support groups can give your loved one a safe space to discuss their issues with others who have the same illness. Encourage them to find a group in your area where they can reach out to others. If there are none in your area, you might look for an online group.[15]
- Get immediate help if they are suicidal. If your loved one is talking about death or suicide, they may need immediate help. Call 911 or a crisis line or visit a crisis center or the emergency room. If your loved one has a therapist or doctor, contact them. They can talk you through appropriate methods for helping your loved one.[17]
- In the US, call the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Even if your loved one doesn't want to talk, you can talk to a trained professional about the best way to help.[18]
- In the UK, you can call Samaritans at 08457 90 90 90.
- In Australia, call Lifeline Australia at 13 11 14.
- The International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) can connect you to crisis centers and hotlines in your country.
- If they have made an attempt, call 911 immediately.[19]
EditProviding Long-Term Support - Give them time. It can take a long time to recover, and some people may be living with mental illness for their entire life. Allow your loved one time to adjust to therapy, medication, or other treatments. Do not expect them to immediately improve.[20]
- You can tell your loved one, "I know that you need time and space. Let me know when you need me."
- Talk when they need it. If your loved one ever approaches you with a problem, sit down and talk to them again. Listen to their worries, and take their concerns seriously. By actually fulfilling your promise to be there for them, you will be helping them more than you know.
- If they ask you to talk, you can say, "Of course. I am always here for you."
- If your loved one needs to talk during a time that is bad for you, you might ask, "Is everything ok? Do you need to talk now or can I call you after work?"
- Check in periodically. A simple text message, email, or phone call can mean the world to someone. Even if they are reluctant to respond, keep trying to reach out to your loved one.[21]
- You might send a text message that says, "How are you today?"
- Sending an email or private message on social media can show that you care. You might say, "Hey, I've been thinking about you lately. What's up?"
- If they live far away, arrange video calls or phone dates so that you can chat.
- Take care of yourself. Caring for a loved one with mental illness can be a big burden. It is important you care for your own physical and mental health. This will also benefit your loved one as it will ensure that you have the energy and capability to be there for them.
- Eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and sleeping seven to nine hours a day can go a long way in reducing your own stress.[22]
- Look for warning signs. If your loved one shows signs of suicide, substance abuse, or anti-social behavior, you might need to get outside help. Stay in touch with them, and watch for any troubling signs that their mental illness has worsened.
- If your loved one mentions that they want to die, they may be suicidal. Other common warning signs include statements like, "I just want it all to end," "the world would be better without me," "I wish I hadn't been born," or "I'd be better off dead than alive."
- If they are withdrawing from their normal activities, it might be a sign that they need more help. Similarly, an increase in alcohol or drug use may indicate that their problem is worsening.
- A sudden sense of calm after a long depressive episode may indicate that they have decided to commit suicide.[23]
- If they are threatening to hurt themselves or others, call 911 immediately.
- Allow them to guide the discussion. Just listening can provide great support.
- You can gently encourage exercise, creative projects, and a good diet, but do not suggest these as miracle cures. The best help your loved one can get is professional counseling.
- If your loved one is willing, you can ask them if you can talk to their medical team so that you are informed about their treatment plan.
- If their mental illness is becoming serious, you may want to create a crisis plan. This will ensure that you are prepared if they attempt to commit suicide or if they slide into self-destructive behavior, like drinking, drug abuse, or unprotected sex.
- Always take suicidal talk seriously. Even if they're just joking about death, they may be seriously considering it.
- If you feel overwhelmed or depressed yourself, do not be afraid to reach out to professional help. You do not have to shoulder the burden yourself.
- Avoid blaming yourself for your loved one's mental illness. There is nothing you could do to prevent it, but you can provide support, love, and care to them now.
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