| How to Write a Paragraph Posted: 23 Jun 2016 05:00 PM PDT The practice of writing paragraphs is essential to good writing. Paragraphs help to break up large chunks of text and makes the content easier for readers to digest. They guide the reader through your argument by focusing on one main idea or goal.[1] However, knowing how to write a good, well-structured paragraph can be little tricky. Read the guidelines below and learn how to take your paragraph writing skills from good to great! EditParagraph Help EditPlanning Your Paragraph - Decide what the main topic of the paragraph is going to be. Before you begin writing your paragraph, you must have a clear idea of what the paragraph is going to be about. This is because a paragraph is essentially a collection of sentences that all relate to one central topic.[2] Without a definite idea of what the main topic is, your paragraph will lack focus and unity. In order to pin down the exact topic of your paragraph, you should ask yourself a number of questions:
 - What is the prompt I have been given? If you are writing a paragraph as a response or answer to a particular prompt, such as "You have decided to donate money to charity. Which charity do you choose and why?" or "Describe your favorite day of the week," you will need to think carefully about that prompt and make sure you are directly addressing it, rather than going off topic.
- What are the main ideas or issues that I need to address? Think about the topic you are being asked or have decided to write about and consider what the most relevant ideas or issues relating to that topic are. As paragraphs are usually relatively short, it is important that you try to hit on all of the main ideas, without going off topic.
- Who am I writing for? Think about who the intended readership of this paragraph or paper is going to be. What is their prior knowledge? Are they familiar with the topic at hand, or will it require a number of explanatory sentences?
- If your paragraphs are part of a larger essay, writing an essay outline can help you define the major ideas or goals of each paragraph.
- Write down information and ideas relating to that topic. Once you have a clearer idea of what you want to address in your paragraph, you can start organizing your thoughts by writing down your ideas on a notepad or word document. There's no need to write out full sentences just yet, just jot down some key words and phrases. Once you see everything on paper, you may get a clearer idea of which points are essential to include in your paragraph, and which points are superfluous.
- At this point, you may realize that there's a gap in your knowledge and that it will be necessary to look up some facts and figures to support your argument.
- It's a good idea to do this research now, so you will have all the relevant information easily at hand when it comes to the writing stage.
- Figure out how you want to structure your paragraph. Now that all of your thoughts, ideas, facts and figures are laid out clearly in front of you, you can start to think about how you want to structure your paragraph. Consider each of the points you wish to address and try to arrange them in a logical order - this will make your paragraph more coherent and easier to read.[3]
- This new order may be chronological, may put the most important information first, or may just make the paragraph easier and more interesting to read - it all depends on the topic and style of the paragraph you wish to write.[3]
- Once you have decided where you want everything to go, you can rewrite your points according to this new structure - this will help to make the writing process a lot faster and more straightforward.
EditWriting Your Paragraph - Write a topic sentence. The first sentence of your paragraph needs to be the topic sentence. A topic sentence is an introductory line that addresses what the main idea or thesis of the paragraph is going to be. It should contain the most important and relevant point you wish to make regarding your topic, thus summarizing the paragraph as a whole.[2]
Don't: use an obvious fact as your topic sentence.
Do: feel free to start with a vague idea if you feel stuck, and improve it once you've finished the paragraph. - Every other sentence you write should support the topic sentence and provide further detail and discussion of the issues or ideas it raises. If any sentence you write cannot be directly related to the topic sentence, it should not be included in this particular paragraph.
- More experienced writers can include their topic sentence at any point in the paragraph; it doesn't necessarily need to be the first line. However, writers who are new or less comfortable with paragraph writing should stick with having the topic sentence first, as it will help to guide you throughout the rest of the paragraph.[2]
- Your topic sentence should not be too broad or too narrow. If your topic sentence is too broad you will not be able to discuss its ideas adequately in your paragraph. If it's too narrow, you won't have enough to discuss.[4]
- Fill in the supporting details. Once you have written and are happy with your topic sentence, you can start to fill in the rest of your paragraph. This is where the detailed, well-structured notes you wrote earlier will come in handy. Make sure that your paragraph is coherent, which means that it is easy to read and understand, that each sentence connects with the next and that everything flows nicely as a whole. To achieve this, try to write clear, simple sentences that express exactly what you want to say.[3]
 - Link each sentence with transition words which form a bridge between one sentence and the next. Transition words can help you compare and contrast, show sequence, show cause and effect, highlight important ideas, and progress smoothly from one idea to the next. Such transition words include "furthermore", "in fact" and "in addition to". You can also use chronological transitions, such as "firstly", "secondly" and "thirdly".[3]
- The supporting sentences are the meat of your paragraph, so you should fill them with as much evidence to support your topic sentence as possible. Depending on the topic, you can use facts, figures, statistics and examples or you can use stories, anecdotes and quotes. Anything goes, as long as it is relevant.[2]
- In terms of length, three to five sentences will usually be enough to cover your main points and adequately support your topic sentence, but this will vary greatly depending on the topic and the length of the paper you are writing. There is no set length for a paragraph. It should be as long as it needs to be to adequately cover the main idea.[3][5]
- Write a concluding sentence. The concluding sentence of your paragraph should tie everything together. A good concluding sentence will reinforce the idea outlined in your topic sentence, but now it has all the weight of the evidence or arguments contained in your supporting sentences behind it. After reading the concluding sentence, the reader should have no doubt as to the accuracy or relevance of the paragraph as a whole.
Don't disagree with your own evidence: Despite these comments, the report was a failure.
Do qualify the conclusion if it transitions to the next paragraph: These quotes prove the report had major support, but this does not mean it led to major change. - Don't just reword the topic sentence. Your concluding sentence should acknowledge the discussion that has come before it and remind your reader of the relevance of this discussion.[6]
- For example, in a paragraph dealing with the topic "Why is Canada a great place to live?" The concluding sentence might look something like "From all the evidence provided above, such as Canada's fantastic health care provisions, its top-notch education system and its clean, safe cities, we can conclude that Canada is indeed a great place to live."
- Know when to move on to a new paragraph. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell where one paragraph should end and another begin. Luckily, there are a number of guidelines you can follow which can make the decision to move on to a new paragraph an obvious one. The most basic guideline to follow is that every time you start to discuss a new idea, you should move on to a new paragraph. Paragraphs should never contain more than one central idea. If a given idea has multiple points or facets, then each individual aspect of the idea should be given its own paragraph.[2][7]
 - A new paragraph is also used each time you are contrasting two points or presenting each side of an argument. For example, if your topic is "should civil servants receive lower salaries?" one paragraph would deal with the arguments supporting lower pay for civil servants, while the other paragraph would provide arguments against it.[2]
- Paragraphs make a piece of writing easier to comprehend and give readers a "break" between new ideas in order to digest what they have just read. If you feel that the paragraph you are writing is becoming too complex, or contains a series of complex points, you may want to think about splitting it up into individual paragraphs.[2]
- When writing a paper, the introduction and conclusion should always be given their own paragraphs. The introductory paragraph should define the aim of the paper and what it hopes to achieve, while also giving a brief outline of the ideas and issues it will go on to discuss. The concluding paragraph provides a summary of the information and arguments contained in the paper and states in clear terms what the paper has shown and/or proven. It may also introduce a new idea, one that opens the reader's mind to the questions raised by the paper.[2]
- If you're writing fiction, you need to start a new paragraph in dialogue to show a new speaker.[8]
EditReviewing Your Paragraph - Check your paragraph for spelling and grammar. Once you have finished writing, it is essential that you re-read your paragraph two or three times to check it for misspelled words and poor grammar. Spelling mistakes and bad grammar can significantly impact the perceived quality of your paragraph, even if the ideas and arguments it contains are of a high quality. It is very easy to overlook small mistakes when writing, so don't skip this step, even if you're in a rush.
- Ensure that each sentence has a subject and that all proper nouns are capitalized. Also make sure that all of the subjects and verbs agree with each other and that you use the same tense across the entire paragraph.
- Use a dictionary to double-check the spelling of words that you are unsure about, don't just assume that they are correct.
- Check your paragraph for the proper use of punctuation, making sure that you use marks such as commas, colons, semicolons and ellipses in the correct context.
- Check your paragraph for coherency and style. Not only should the technical aspects of your writing be spot on, but you should also try to achieve clarity in your writing, as well as stylistic flow. You can do this by varying the length and format of your sentences and by using transitional words and a varied vocabulary.[2]
Don't: use long words or "thesaurus finds" for their own sake.
Do: use well-known synonyms to vary your writing rather than repeat the same word many times. - The point of view of your writing should remain consistent throughout the paragraph, and indeed, the entire paper. For example, if you are writing in the first person (e.g., "I believe that...") you should not switch to a passive voice ("it is believed that") halfway through.
- However, you should also try to avoid beginning every sentence with "I think..." or "I contend that..." Try to vary the format of your sentences, as this will make the paragraph more interesting for the reader and help it to flow more naturally.
- For beginner writers, it is better to stick to short, to-the-point sentences which clearly express your point. Long, rambling sentences can very quickly become incoherent or fall victim to grammatical errors, so try to avoid them until you gain more experience as a writer.
- Decide if your paragraph is complete. Once you have re-read the paragraph and fixed any grammatical or stylistic errors, you should have one more glance over it to determine whether it is complete. Try to look at the paragraph objectively and decide whether it sufficiently supports and develops your topic sentence, or whether it needs a few more details or additional evidence to back up your claims.[3]
Don't: get bogged down in minor edits before you've finished your essay.
Do: make sure your point is crystal clear before you move on. - If you feel that the main claim of your topic sentence is sufficiently supported and well-developed by the contents of the rest of your paragraph, then your paragraph is probably complete. However, if any important aspect of the topic remains unexplored or unexplained or if the paragraph is shorter than three sentences, it probably needs a little more work.[3]
- On the other hand, you may decide that your paragraph is too long and contains superfluous or tangential content. If this is the case, you should edit the paragraph so it contains only the most relevant information.
- If you feel that all of the content is necessary to your point, but the paragraph is still too long, you should think about breaking it up into several smaller, more specific paragraphs.
- A paragraph should consist of:
- Topic sentence
- Supportive sentence(s)
- Concluding sentence
- When you are reading, notice how paragraphs are divided. If you learn what a paragraph is by experience, you can divide writing into appropriate parts by feel.
- There are no hard-and-fast rules for how long a paragraph should be. Instead, make sure there are natural breaks. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and whatever writing supports it.
- Always indent before starting a new paragraph. 0.5" indentations are standard for English writing.
- Spelling and grammatical errors can detract from even the most well-planned writing. Use a spell-checker or ask someone to read your work if you are unsure about anything.
- If you are writing a conversation, start a new paragraph each time somebody else speaks.
- The secret lies in:
- Unity: Have a single idea and the topic needs to be expressed.
- Order: The way you organize your sentences helps the reader to understand better.
- Coherence: Quality that makes your writing understandable. Sentences need to be connected with each other.
- Completeness: All sentences used in a paragraph should convey a complete message.
- Adjust your writing to its purpose. Just as you wear different clothes for different occasions and different climates, you should write in a style that suits your aim.
- Don't wait until the last minute if this is for a school assignment. Give yourself plenty of time to plan out and write each paragraph. Your assignment will be of a much higher quality as a result.
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Remove Stuck Contact Lenses Posted: 23 Jun 2016 09:00 AM PDT Most wearers of contact lenses will, at some point, experience difficulty removing them. This problem is especially common for people who haven't been wearing them for very long. Contact lenses can get stuck because they are dried out from too many hours of use, or because they have been pushed out of place. Whether you wear soft or rigid contact lenses, these instructions will help you get a stubborn lens out of your eye. EditRemoving Soft Contact Lenses - Wash your hands. Your hands should always be clean whenever inserting or removing your contact lenses.[1] Your hands carry around thousands of bacteria, including fecal bacteria, just from the things you touch every day. Wash your hands with soap and warm water before touching your eyes to prevent infection.[2]
- For stuck lenses, washing your hands is even more important, because you'll likely be touching your eye area for a longer period of time. The more time your fingers spend in contact with your eyes, the more likely you are to spread contamination.
- Do not dry the palm or fingertips of the hand that is going to touch your eye. Otherwise, you might get towel fibers or lint in your eye.
- Stay calm. Panicking or getting overly anxious about the situation will just make it more difficult to remove the lenses. If you feel anxious, take a few deep breaths before you continue.[3]
- Don't worry! Your contact lens cannot get stuck behind your eyeball. The conjunctiva, a mucous membrane in front of your eye, and muscles around your eye called the rectus muscles make this impossible.[4]
- Getting a soft contact lens stuck in your eye is not a serious health risk, unless you leave it for a long period of time. While it may be irritating, it is unlikely to damage your eye.[5] However, a rigid lens can cause a cornea abrasion if it is broken and that can lead to an infection.
- If you've made several unsuccessful attempts to remove the lens, take a break from trying for a bit. Sit down for a while and relax.
- Locate the lens. In many cases, contact lenses get stuck because they have slid out of their proper place over the cornea. If this is the case for you, you'll need to find the lens before you can remove it. Close your eyes and relax your eyelids. You should be able to feel where the lens has gone. If you can't feel it under your eyelid, gently touch the lid with your fingers and see if you can locate it.[6]
- If the lens has moved to the corner of your eye, you may be able find it just by looking in the mirror.[7]
- Try looking in the opposite direction of the lens. For example, if the lens feels like it's in the right corner of your eye, look left. Or, if the lens feels like it's stuck in the bottom part of your eye, look up. The lens may become visible. [8]
- If you can't feel or see the lens, it is possible it has fallen out of your eye.[9]
- Put your finger at the top of your eyelid (near your eyebrow) and pull up to hold your eyelid open. This may help you see the contact lens better. Keep in mind that if you look down with your eyes while pulling up on the eyelid, it paralyzes the orbicularis oculi muscle and you can't squeeze it shut until you look up again.
- Moisten the lens. Lenses can get stuck because they have dried out. Moisten the lens with saline solution. Apply the saline solution directly to the lens, if possible. Wait for a few minutes to allow the lens to hydrate and soften.[10]
- If the lens is stuck under your eyelid or in the corner of your eye, the added moisture may help it float back into its proper place, where it will be easier to remove.[11]
- Often, moistening the lens will allow you to remove it through conventional methods. Blink several times or close your eyes for a few seconds, then try to remove the lens again.[12]
- Massage your eyelid. If the lens remains stuck or trapped under the eyelid, close your eyes and gently massage the lids with your fingertips.[13]
- If the lens is still out of place, try to push it over the cornea.
- If your lens is stuck under your eyelid, it may help to look down while massaging the eyelid.[14]
- Change your approach. If the lens is in its proper place but still won't come out, try using a different method of removing your contact lens. Most people pinch their lenses out, but you can also try removing them by placing a finger on each eyelid and applying gentle pressure as you blink.[15]
- You can use either the index finger or the middle finger of each hand. With the finger on your upper lid, press straight down. With the finger on your lower lid, press straight up.
- The lens should pull away from the eye and be easy to remove.
- Lift your eyelid. If the lens is still stuck and you think it may be lodged under your eyelid, try gently lifting the lid away from your eye and turning it inside out.[16]
- To do this, use a cotton tip and press down on the middle of the eyelid while pulling the eyelashes forward away from the eye.
- Tip your head backward. You should be able to see the contact lens if it is stuck under the lid. Carefully pull it out from underneath your eyelid.
- You may need the help of a friend or family member to do this.[17]
- See your eye doctor. If all else fails, or if your eye becomes extremely red or irritated, go to your local doctor, optometrist, or hospital. They can remove the lens without causing further damage to your eye.[18]
- If you believe you have scratched or otherwise damaged your eye in attempting to remove the lens, contact your eye doctor immediately. You should see a doctor about possible damage whether you have successfully removed the lens or not.[19]
EditRemoving Rigid Gas Permeable Contact Lenses - Wash your hands. Thoroughly clean your hands with soap and water. Don't dry the fingers that are touching the eye to avoid getting lint in the eye. Your hands should always be clean whenever inserting or removing your contact lenses.[20]
- Thorough washing is especially important if you are touching your eye for a longer period of time, such as when trying to remove a stuck lens.
- Stay calm. A stuck lens is not an emergency, and anxiety will only make it harder to locate and remove the lens.[21]
- Your contact lens cannot get stuck behind your eyeball. The conjunctiva, a mucous membrane in front of your eye, and muscles around your eye called the rectus muscles make this impossible.[22]
- Getting a contact lens stuck in your eye is not a serious health risk, unless you leave it for a long period of time. While it may be irritating, it is unlikely to damage your eye. If the contact lens is broken it may be painful.[23]
- Locate the lens. In most cases, rigid contact lenses get stuck because they have slid out of their proper place over the cornea. If this is the case, you'll need to determine where in your eye the lens has moved before you can remove it.
- Close your eyes and relax your eyelids. You should be able to feel the lens in your eye. If you can't feel it under your eyelid, gently touch the lid with your fingers and see if you can locate it.[24]
- If the lens has moved to the corner of your eye, you may be able locate it just by looking in the mirror.[25]
- Try looking in the opposite direction of the lens. For example, if the lens feels like it's in the right corner of your eye, look left. Or, if the lens feels like it's stuck in the bottom part of your eye, look up. The lens may become visible.[26]
- If you can't see or feel where the lens has gone, it is possible it has fallen out of your eye.[27]
- Break the seal. If the lens has moved to the white of your eye, you can often dislodge it by breaking the suction between the lens and eyeball. To do this, use your fingertip to gently press your eye just outside the edge of the lens.[28]
- Do not massage the eyeball as you would with soft lenses. This may cause the edge of the lens to scratch the surface of your eye as it moves.[29]
- Use a suction cup. If the lens remains stuck, you can purchase a small suction cup tool in the eye-care section of many drug stores which will allow you to remove the lens.[30] Ideally, your optometrist will have taught you this technique before prescribing the lens.
- First, wash the suction cup with contact lens cleaner. Moisten the suction cup with saline solution.[31]
- Use your thumb and forefinger to separate your eyelids.
- Apply the suction cup to the center of the lens and pull it out, being careful not to touch your eye with the suction cup.
- The lens can be removed from the suction cup by sliding it gently sideways.[32]
- Consider seeing a medical professional before choosing this method. Using a suction cup device to remove rigid lenses on your own can cause trauma to your eye.[33]
- Get to a doctor if necessary. If you cannot remove the lens, go to your local doctor, optometrist, or hospital to have them remove the lens for you. You should also seek medical assistance if your eye becomes very red or irritated.[34]
- If you believe you have scratched or otherwise damaged your eye in attempting to remove the lens, contact your eye doctor immediately. You should seek medical assistance whether you have successfully removed the lens or not.[35]
EditPracticing Good Contact Lens Hygiene - Avoid touching your eyes without washing your hands first. Your hands carry thousands of germs from the everyday objects you touch. Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water before ever touching your eyes.[36]
- If you touch your eyes with dirty fingers and hands, you could cause eye infections or scratches.
- Keep your eyes lubricated. Use contact lens eye drops or lubricating drops to keep your eyes moist throughout the day. This will help keep your lenses from getting stuck.[37]
- If you develop itchiness or redness after using drops, try to find a product marked "preservative-free."
- Keep contact lens cases clean. Clean your lens case every day. After you've put in your contacts, wash the case with sterile solution or hot (preferably distilled) water. and soap. Do not leave the case full of tap water. That causes fungal and bacterial infections. Allow the case to air dry.[38]
- Replace your lens case every three months. Even with daily cleaning, bacteria and other nasty stuff will eventually get into your case.
- Replace the solution in your contacts case every day. After you've cleaned your case and let it air dry, put fresh, clean contact solution into the case. The solution loses its potency after awhile, so keeping it fresh every day will help your lenses stay disinfected and clean.[39]
- Follow the directions to clean and sanitize your type of lens. Different types of lenses require different care products. Use the correct type of solution for your type of lenses. Follow your eye care professional's recommendations for cleaning and sanitizing your lenses.[40]
- Use only commercially prepared solutions, eye drops, and cleaners to reduce your risk of infection.
- Wear your lenses only as recommended by your eye care professional. Your eye care professional should give you a range of how long it is safe to wear your lenses each day. Use your lenses in accordance with these professional recommendations.
- Do not sleep with lenses in unless you've been prescribed "extended wear" contact lenses. Even then, professionals don't recommend sleeping in these lenses, as it can increase your risk of eye infections.[41]
- Remove your lenses before contact with water. If you're going swimming, taking a bath or shower, or getting in the hot tub, take your lenses out first. This will help minimize your risk of infection.[42]
- Keep hydrated. Your contacts can get stuck to your eyes when the lenses dry out. One way to help avoid this is to drink plenty of water throughout the day. Drinking enough fluids will help your eyes stay moist.
- The recommended daily intake for men is at least 13 cups (3 liters) a day. The recommended intake for women is at least 9 cups (2.2 liters) a day.[43]
- If you routinely have dry eyes, try to stay away from alcohol and excessive caffeine when possible. These substances dehydrate your body. Water is best for you, but other good options include fruit juices, milk, and unsweetened, non-caffeinated teas like Rooibos and many herbal teas.
- Stop smoking. Studies have shown that smoking makes dry eyes worse. "Dry eye" can result in your contact lenses getting stuck.[44] Smokers who wear contact lenses have more problems with their lenses than non-smokers.
- Even passive (second-hand) exposure to cigarette smoke can cause issues for contact-lens wearers.[45]
- Stay healthy. You can help prevent eye issues by eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, and reducing eye strain.[46]
- Green leafy vegetables, such as spinach, collards, kale, and other greens are excellent for eye health. Salmon, tuna, and other fatty fish contain omega-3 fatty acids that can help prevent some eye issues.
- Studies have shown that people who exercise regularly have better eye health overall. They are also less likely to develop serious eye diseases such as glaucoma.[47]
- If you don't get enough sleep, it can have effects on your eyesight. The most common side effect is dry eyes. You might also experience eye twitches or spasms.[48]
- Try to reduce eye strain when you can. You can do this by reducing glare from your electronics, setting up an ergonomically correct workstation, and taking frequent breaks from working that involves your eyes.
- Have your eyes examined regularly. Seeing an eye care professional regularly can help keep you from developing issues. Regular professional exams can also detect eye diseases such as glaucoma.[49]
- If you have existing eye issues or you are in your late 30s, you should see an eye doctor yearly. Adults between the age of 20-30 should have an eye exam at least every two years.[50]
- Talk to your doctor about any problems. If your lenses continue to get stuck to your eyes, see an eye doctor. You may have a more serious issue. You can also ask your doctor about prevention methods.[51]
- See a doctor immediately if you have any of the following symptoms:
- Sudden loss of vision
- Blurred vision
- Flashes of light or "halos" (bright fields around objects)
- Eye pain, irritation, swelling, or redness
- It is always good to moisten your eyes with saline before attempting to remove a soft lens. After moistening, try air drying your fingers and taking your lens out. This may provide enough friction for you to get a grip on the lens.
- Many cities have online directories listing eye doctors. For example, if you are in Detroit and need to find an eye doctor, a good place to look is the Henry Ford Health System's "Find a Doctor" page.[52] VSP also provides a search page.[53]
- Put on your makeup after you put in your contacts. Remove contacts before removing your makeup. This will help keep you from getting makeup on your lenses.[54]
- Close your eyelid very firmly (if needed softly press your finger to your lid) and move your eye pupil (look around) counterclockwise for three minutes and then the contact will start coming out from where its trapped and you can grad it easily.
- Always make sure your hands, lens case, towels, and anything else that comes into contact with your eyes or contact lenses is clean. Otherwise your eyes may become infected.
- Never use saliva to moisten a contact lens. Human saliva is full of germs, and if you use saliva on your lenses, you're transferring all of that to your eyes.
- Check the instructions on your contact lens solution before applying it to the eye. A basic saline solution is safe to use as lubrication for your lens, but some solutions have a cleaning agent in them which will cause a burning sensation if applied directly to the eye.
- Never wear "costume" contact lenses or other lenses purchased without a prescription. These lenses may cause scratches, sores, infections, and even permanent blindness.
- If, after removing the lens, your eye remain red and irritated, contact an eye doctor for examination. This could be a sign you have scratched your cornea.[55]
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| How to Develop Self‐Esteem Posted: 23 Jun 2016 01:00 AM PDT Our self esteem is instilled in us during our youth. Being constantly criticized by family, friends, and society in general tends to slowly strip us of our feelings of self worth. Our low self esteem strips us of the self confidence to make even the smallest of decisions. These feelings do not have to be permanent, however. Improving your self esteem increases your confidence and is a first step towards finding happiness and a better life. Read on to find out how! EditIdentifying your Self-Esteem - Learn self-esteem. Self-esteem, or the way we feel about ourselves, is an important aspect of our emotional well-being. High self-esteem means that we love and accept ourselves for the way we are, and generally feel satisfied most of the time. Low self-esteem means that we are not happy with the way we are.
- The Centre for Clinical Interventions describes people with low self-esteem as having "deep-seated, basic, negative beliefs about themselves and the kind of person they are. These beliefs are often taken as facts or truths about their identity."[1]
- Untreated low-self esteem can often lead to life-long problems, such as being the victim of abusive relationships, feeling constantly self-conscious, and being so afraid of failure that you don't even try to set goals.[2]
- Evaluate your self-esteem. Knowing that you have low self-esteem is the first step to improving and overcoming that mental habit.[3] You may have low self-esteem if you have negative thoughts about yourself. These thoughts can revolve around one specific trait, such as your weight or body image, or it can encompass many areas of your life, career, and relationships.
- If your inner voice, or thoughts about yourself, are mostly critical, you likely have low self-esteem.[4]
- If your inner voice tends to be positive and comforting, you have higher self-esteem.[5]
- Listen to your inner voice. When you have thoughts about yourself, determine whether they are positive or negative. If you have trouble evaluating this or noticing a pattern, try writing down thoughts you have about yourself every day for a few days or a week. Then look at the statements for patterns or tendencies.
- The inner voice of someone with low self-esteem often manifests in one of the following personas: a nagger, a generalist, a comparer, a catastrophizer, or a mind-reader. Each of these unique inner voices either insults you or assumes the worst about other people's perception of you.
- Silencing the negative inner voice is a first step in building your confidence. Replacing it with more positive thoughts will be the next goal.
- For example, your inner voice may say "I didn't get the job I just applied for, so I will never have a job again and I am useless." You want to change that to "I am disappointed about not getting this job, but I have worked hard and the right job is out there waiting for me; I just have to find it."
- Investigate the source of your lowered self-esteem. [6] No one has inherently low self-esteem from birth; it generally builds from childhood due to needs not being met, negative feedback from others, or due to a major negative life event. Knowing the source of your self-esteem problems can help you overcome them.
- If you noticed a particular pattern when evaluating your inner voice, try to trace those feelings back to your first memory about them.
- For example, if your negativity is about your weight or appearance, try to remember when you first started feeling uncomfortable with your weight; was it due to a particular comment or group of comments?
- Set a goal to improve your self-esteem. The key to developing self-esteem is to turn your inner voice from a negative, critical voice to a positive, encouraging voice. Ultimately, you will have to decide to put in the work of re-framing the way you think about yourself. Setting an initial goal to be more positive about yourself will put you on the path to greater self-confidence.
- For example, your goal may be "I will be more positive about myself and talk to myself like a friend rather than an enemy."
EditImproving your Self-Care - List your positive attributes. Focus on the things that you like about yourself to remind yourself that there is more to you than the negative thoughts your inner voice focuses on. Congratulate yourself for your accomplishments without qualifying them.[7]
- People with higher self-esteem are able to accept that they have positive attributes, even if they are not perfect.[8]
- Post your list somewhere visible, like your bathroom mirror, and look at it daily. You can add to it as your inner voice becomes more positive.
- Keep a positivity journal. Write down you accomplishments, compliments people give you, and good thoughts you have about yourself. While the negative thoughts may not completely go away, spending more time focusing on the positive will improve your overall feelings of self-worth.[9]
- Journaling can be a powerful tool to monitor your inner dialogue and improve your self-esteem.[10]
- Try to focus your positivity journal on opposing your normal negative inner thoughts. For example, if you would tend to insult yourself for not speaking your mind about something, be sure to write down times that you do speak your mind.
- Use your journal for goal setting. You can set goals for improving yourself without expecting perfection in every aspect of your life. Your goals should be clear and specific, but allow some "wiggle room" for imperfection.
- For example, instead of, "I will always speak against people who are spreading discrimination and hate," you might make your goal, "I will do my best to calmly oppose the ideas of others who spread discrimination and hate."
- Instead of "I will never eat sugar again and will lose 30 pounds," your goal could be, "I will strive to live a healthier lifestyle with better food choices and more exercise."
- Forgive yourself for being imperfect. Remember that you, like everyone, are human. You do not have to be perfect to have high self-esteem.[11] If you can accept yourself as you are, even if you are trying to improve in some areas, you will have much higher self-esteem.
- Create a mantra for yourself, like "that's okay, I'm awesome anyway."
- For example, if you lost your temper and yelled at your child at the park, you can say to yourself, "I am not perfect, and I will work on keeping my emotions in control. I will apologize to my child for yelling and explain to him why I became upset. It's okay, I'm an awesome mom anyway."
- Seek counseling. If you feel that you are unable to improve your self-esteem on your own, or if you become very upset when exploring the roots of your low self-esteem, you may want to see a therapist who can help you identify and deal with the roots of your self-esteem problems.[12]
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is an approach that will address your automatic negative thoughts about yourself and teach you how to deal with your emotions in a healthy way.[13]
- For more complex self-esteem issues, more in-depth psychodynamic therapy may be a better option for dealing with the roots of your problems.
- Participate in charitable work. Many people begin to feel better about themselves when they are contributing to a cause outside of their own needs. Volunteering for a charitable organization helps both the volunteer and the recipients of the charity: a real win-win![14]
- Find an organization that addresses a cause that you feel passionate about.
- Volunteer somewhere with a friend or a group of friends; this will help the organization (many hands make light work) and the experience may be more enjoyable.
EditAdopting a More Positive Lifestyle - Set aside time for self-care. It can be difficult to make time for yourself, but making time to do things that make you feel relaxed and happy can improve your self-esteem as well as your productivity at work and at home.
- Find a hobby that makes you feel better physically and mentally. Some people find that yoga, bicycling, or running help them find a calm, centered positivity.
- Surround yourself with positive people. If there are negative influences in your life that cause you to feel badly about yourself, try to minimalist or eliminate the time you spend with them. Include in your life instead people who are positive and support your positive self-thoughts.
- Making your loved ones aware of your self-esteem building journey will encourage them to act as a support system for you.
- You may want to tell close friends or family something like "I am working on improving my self-esteem. You can help me by pointing out when I say something negative about myself so that I am more aware of my negativity."
- Eat a healthy diet. Choosing foods that are more nutritious and lower in sugar and fat can boost your energy, cut down on sugar crashes, and improve your overall health.
- Avoid fad diets and opt for whole foods that are minimally processed.
- Avoid foods such as candy bars, soda, cake, doughnuts, and pastries, which lead to massive energy crashes, possible headaches, and offer no nutrition, possible illness, and added calories.
- Eat more fruits, veggies, lean meats, and legumes. Think of them as all-day energy and abundant nutrition for your body, that will enable you to keep up with your job and kids, protect your body against illnesses, and extend your life so you can enjoy more time with your family.
- Exercise more. Even when going to the gym isn't an option, a brisk walk is often all you need in order to move more and improve your health. A little exercise can give you more energy, make you feel better, and help boost your immune system.
- Many people find that walking outdoors is refreshing and restorative, particularly if they spend most of their time working indoors.
- Even a 10-minute workout once or twice every day offers benefits to your health.
- Spend time on personal hygiene and presentation. If you put thought and time into your personal appearance by selecting clothing that makes you feel confident and put-together and practicing daily hygiene habits, you will feel more comfortable and confident.
EditLetting Go of Perfection - Recognize unreachable standards. Like Picasso's paintings, perfection changes in the eye of the beholder. Perfection is a state that is subjective and often self-imposed. It's okay to hold yourself to higher standards, but often, those standards are idealistic because life doesn't always go as planned. It is easy to get frustrated when you cannot match our ideal image of yourself.
- This isn't necessarily a bad thing, because this is what motivates people to improve, find better and more efficient ways of doing things, and be the most excellent they can be.
- Forgive yourself. You can learn to prevent this very human tendency from becoming unproductive by becoming more forgiving of yourself when things don't go the way you'd like, and more supportive of ourselves by feeling good in our accomplishments and strengths so we can truly enjoy being who we are right now at this very moment.
- Surround yourself with people who care about your feelings! People who don't care about you won't help your confidence.
- Don't concentrate on impressing others. Instead, be yourself, then others will think highly of you and your comfort with yourself.
- Tell yourself you are confident and outgoing even if you don't feel that way. Your feelings and beliefs all come from the thoughts you think, so, if you believe you are confident and outgoing, you will be. Think and act as though you don't even know what it's like to have low self-esteem.
- Be assertive. Boosting your self-esteem is all about getting what you need/want. Do things for your own sake. Remember, you must help yourself first before you can help others.
- You are who you are and no one can change that. Be yourself and don't try to copy others.
- The most important thing of all is that you have to believe in yourself. If you believe you can, then you will be able to.
- Your inner strength will enable you to reach your goals in life. If you fall down, pick yourself up and try again.
- Look at yourself in the mirror every day. Try to find something to admire about yourself: your looks, your accomplishments, your achievements.
- Don't let magazine ads and other media outlets quash your self confidence with their marketing ploys: Marketing campaigns often prey on fear and insecurity by bringing those feelings to the forefront. Resist marketing efforts with your inner confidence and awareness of marketing tactics.
- Make sure your self talk is positive at all times. Tell yourself how great you are or how good you look today. Make being positive your natural state of being.
- Ignore the negative comments people give you. Listen to yourself and be confident, no one can judge you for being yourself.
- People who consistently say negative things about others are low quality people and if they were characters in a book they would not be worth the ink that's used or the paper they're printed on.
- Do some yoga, if you think it will help. Try meditating as well.
- Consistently low self esteem could be a sign of depression. Talk with your doctor and review all available options if you think this might be the case.
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