| How to Be in a Relationship for the First Time Posted: 14 Aug 2021 05:00 PM PDT Getting into a serious relationship is so exciting, but we know it can be a little nerve-wracking if you haven't been in one before. When it's your first time dating someone, it sometimes feels a bit tricky to know exactly what you should do or say. If you want to build a loving and lasting connection with your partner, we have you covered. Keep reading for some general advice to strengthen the bond with your partner and ways to keep your relationship the most fun and exciting! [Edit]Try new things together. - Make some exciting memories together so you keep growing together. You might get bored of doing the same thing every time you hang out with your partner, so find new opportunities to keep things interesting. Look for activities that neither of you has done before and give them a chance. Enjoy your time together as you learn and experience it for the first time. Some things you can do include:[1]
- Visiting a museum
- Cooking a new recipe
- Taking an art class
- Learning to dance
[Edit]Surprise them with a gift. - This lets your partner know that you were thinking about them. Whenever you stop at the store, pick up something that reminds you of your partner. You could buy their favorite candy, a magazine they always read, or even something they've said they wanted for a while. The next time you see them, give them the gift and let them know it was just because you were thinking of them.[2]
- Don't buy gifts only because you expect to get some in return.
- Buy a few things during a single trip and keep them hidden away. The next time your partner has a bad day, you'll have a gift ready for them so they can cheer up.
[Edit]Give them compliments. - Brighten their day by saying what you admire about them. Everyone loves to hear compliments, so get used to saying a few to your partner every day so they feel loved. Start with a phrase like "I love" or "I value" to show your appreciation. Say a specific quality about your partner that's genuine and positive so they know how you feel about them.[3]
- For example, you could say something like, "I love getting lost in your eyes."
- Compliments can be about characteristics as well. For example, you might say, "I appreciate how understanding you are."
[Edit]Plan some fun dates. - Keep your connection strong by going out and spending time with each other. Try to plan at least one date night a week so you can get out of the house and do something fun together, and take turns planning dates so you both have the opportunity to pick some fun activities. There are so many options you can do, but a few fun date ideas you can try include:[4]
- Having a picnic at a park
- Spending the day at the beach
- Seeing a movie
- Visiting a zoo
- Going ice skating
- Pretending you're a tourist in your town and visiting all the small shops
- Taking a walk in a scenic spot[5]
- Going to a farmer's market[6]
[Edit]Build up your physical intimacy. - Showing your affection makes your bond so much stronger. As you get more comfortable with your partner, you'll probably want to feel even closer to them. Take it slow at first and don't feel pressured to go right into something like sex. When the time feels right, try holding their hand, snuggling up against them, giving them a big hug, or kissing them to show just how much you care![7]
- Rushing into sex or things you're not comfortable with could have a negative impact on your intimacy later on.[8]
- Always respect your partner's boundaries. If there's something they don't like or don't want to do, such as public displays of affection, listen to them and avoid doing it.
[Edit]Communicate openly and honestly. - Having deep talks builds a stronger connection and prevents misunderstandings. You can't grow closer to someone if you don't let them get to know you more. Make some time every day to chat and catch up about your days. Let your partner know what's going on in your life and listen to them without interrupting while they talk with you. Don't be afraid to open up about your hobbies, childhood, or life since it shows your partner you're comfortable around them.[9]
- It can be really hard to admit when you aren't happy something with something in the relationship, but talking about it is an important step to working through it as a couple.[10]
- Remember that your partner isn't a mind reader. They won't know what you're thinking or feeling for sure until you say something.
- If you do have to bring up a problem to your partner, try telling them what you think would fix it, as well. Then, you can listen to their ideas about how to work through it.[11]
[Edit]Treat them how you'd want to be treated. - Only doing what one person wants could lead to a controlling relationship. Show your partner respect and they'll want to do the same for you. Invest your time equally between what you want to do and what your partner wants to do so it stays balanced. Even though you may not want to do everything that they want to, find a way to compromise so you both feel satisfied.[12]
- For example, you might take turns picking what movies you watch so it doesn't feel one-sided.
- Look at things from your partner's perspective so you can understand how they're feeling better.
[Edit]Celebrate their achievements. - You and your partner feel happier when you get excited together. Whenever your partner succeeds, sincerely congratulate them and get pumped up with them. Do everything you can to keep the excitement alive and to make the rest of the day great, like going out to eat or watching their favorite movie.[13]
- For example, if your partner did well on a test they were nervous about, you could say something like, "Honey that's so awesome! You worked so hard and I'm so proud of you. Should we get some dinner to celebrate?"
- Couples that celebrate together are less likely to fight and have more satisfying relationships.
[Edit]Be supportive of your partner. - Show that you care for them even when they're struggling. Just like you should celebrate during happy moments, be present when your partner's having a bad day. Offer to listen to them if they need to vent, talk through how to manage a situation, or just be a shoulder for them to cry on. You don't need to solve the problems they're having, but you should at least still be there for them.[14]
- Think about what you'd want from your partner if you were going through a tough situation so you can do the same.
[Edit]Apologize when you're wrong. - You'll build more trust and respect when you recognize the issue. Everyone makes mistakes, but you still have to take responsibility for them. Whenever you realize you said something wrong or hurtful to your partner, apologize to them. Be genuine as you let your partner know that you did something wrong and ask for their forgiveness.[15]
- For example, if you got into a heated argument, you could say, "I realize I was acting defensive when you were trying to talk to me earlier, and I'm so sorry. I should have just listened without interrupting. Can you forgive me?"
[Edit]Work through any conflicts together. - Communicate your issues so you can learn and move on from them. Disagreements are normal in a relationship, so don't get worried if there are some harder conversations. Take a breather to collect thoughts before talking it out. Clearly explain how you're feeling and what made you feel that way. Give your full attention to your partner as they explain their side of it as well. Discuss some possible solutions to the problem that you can both agree on so you know what to do moving forward.[16]
- Use "I" statements when you're talking through an issue so you don't shift the blame. For example, say, "I feel lonely because I don't have a lot of time to see you during the week," instead of, "You always spend time with friends instead of me."
- Only focus on the current issue rather than talking about a lot of things at once.
[Edit]Say "I love you" when you're ready. - Show that you're caring and committed, but only when you're sure of it. There's never a "right" time to say those 3 words in a relationship, but ask yourself if it's what you're truly feeling. If you really do admire and love your partner, tell them face-to-face the first time so it's the most meaningful. We know that it's a little scary expressing your feelings, so it's okay to wait until you think your partner will say it back, but you might just feel better letting it out.[17]
- Don't get discouraged if your partner doesn't say it back immediately. They might just need a little more time to feel the same way.
- Wait until you're in the relationship for at least a few weeks before saying "I love you," since saying it too early could sound clingy or creepy.
[Edit]Keep being yourself. - You shouldn't have to change who you are for the other person. You had your own life and goals before you started dating, so keep pursuing the things you wanted. Give yourself a few minutes every day to reflect on how you're feeling and what you want to achieve. Take care of your needs completely, and don't be afraid to talk about them with your partner so they can help out any way they can.[18]
- You only need to do things that you want to do, so don't feel pressured into a decision by your partner if it's something you don't agree with.
[Edit]Make time for friends and hobbies. - Split your time so you don't feel burnt out on the relationship. Even though you may want to spend every minute with your partner, you still have to maintain your other friendships. Keep plans that you made with your friends and set aside some "me-time" so you can get some space to be alone too. Try to devote about 50% of your free time to see your partner, 30% to hang out with friends, and about 20% to be on your own.[19]
- Try to make friends with your partner's friends, too! When they're around, strike up conversations with them to find out what you have in common and just be generally friendly and open with them.[20]
- If your partner gets angry or jealous that you're hanging out with other people, then it could be a warning sign of an unhealthy relationship.
- It's completely normal to feel a little stressed or anxious when you're in a new relationship. Take a step back and think about why you're feeling that way so you can talk it through with your partner.[21]
[Edit]Warnings - Watch out for signs of an unhealthy relationship, such as your partner trying to control you, blaming you for things, or bullying you.[22]
[Edit]References |
| How to Put a Quilt on a Bed Posted: 14 Aug 2021 09:00 AM PDT Quilts are a great way to add some color and texture to your bedroom decor. Putting it on the bed is pretty straightforward, but if you want it to look extra tidy, you can tuck it into the sides and bottom. Doing a hospital tuck at the bottom corners will make your bedding look straight out of a magazine! A decorative quilt can also act as an accessory, giving your bedroom a pop of color and a cozy feel. [Edit]Making Your Bed Neatly - Stretch the fitted sheet over the 4 corners of your mattress. If your bed is up against a wall or side table, start at that corner first because the last corner is always the hardest to get on. Make sure it fits snug so it's nice and smooth on top.[1]
- If your fitted sheet has any wrinkles or excess fabric, go down a size so you'll get the smoothest fit.
- Place the flat sheet onto your bed and tuck in the excess. Spread the top sheet flat over the bed with the decorative side facing down so the top design will show once you've folded it back over the quilt. Arrange it so that the sheet reaches the top edge of the mattress where your head lies. Make sure it's centered so you can tuck it into the sides evenly.[2]
- If you're not sure which side of the flat sheet is the decorative side, look at the stitching along the sides. The side with the smoothest edges that doesn't show where the sheet was folded over and sewn is the decorative side.
- Spread the quilt on top of the top sheet with the decorative side facing up. Look at both sides of the quilt to see which one is more vibrantly colored—that's the side that should be facing up.[3] Take a walk around the bed to make sure it's centered and that it drapes evenly along the sides and foot of the bed.[4]
- Make sure the quilt is large enough so that it covers the mattress. If not, you'll need a larger quilt.
- If your quilt is a little too small, you can still use it as an accessory on top of your bed.
- Fold the top sheet back over the quilt to make a horizontal band. Move to one corner at the head of the bed and grab the top sheet. Fold it back towards the foot of the bed so that it envelops the quilt.[5] Pull it back enough so the folded band is at least wide.[6]
- Do this on the other side of the bed as well.
- Make sure to pull it back enough so that your pillows don't cover the decorative fold. You may need to pull it back even further if you plan to add a lot of decorative pillows on top.
- Smooth out the folded section of the sheet with your hands. Lean over the bed to straighten out any creases or bunching you see in the fold. Use your palms to smooth it down from the center of the fold and outward.[7]
- Do this on both sides until it's nice and straight.
- You should be able to see the decorative part of your top sheet now.
- Tuck the overhang of the quilt and top sheets into the sides of the mattress. Move to one side of the bed and tuck the extra fabric under the mattress. Flatten your hands and tuck with the outer sides to make it easier. Do this all around the bed so it's nice and smooth.[8]
- If you want a more tidy look, go for a hospital tuck at the bottom corners.
- You can leave the excess hanging out for a more relaxed, cozy style. That way, it'll be easier to hop straight under the covers when you're ready to snooze!
- Add your pillows and any decorative touches you like. Place the pillows you sleep on at the head of the bed, propping them up so that you can still see the decorative fold. Put any decorative pillows or throw pillows on top or in front of those.[9]
- Make sure the openings of the pillowcases face toward the center of the mattress so you can't see extra fabric hanging out from the sides.
[Edit]Doing a Hospital Tuck - Tuck the quilt under the mattress along the foot of the bed, not the sides. Make sure the quilt is centered so it drapes evenly down the sides and foot of the bed. Flatten your hands to tuck the quilt into the gap between the mattress and the base or box frame.[10]
- If you have a thick bed frame at the foot of your bed, you'll need to lift the mattress up a few inches so that you can properly tuck the quilt in.
- Lift the corner of the quilt at one of the bottom corners of the bed upward. Grab the edge of the quilt near the corner of the bed at the longest point and fold it upward. Hold it in place with your hand and smooth out the outer fold so it's straight.[11]
- You should now have a triangle-shaped fold on top of the bed.
- Stuff any excess fabric hanging down as you hold up the corner. With 1 hand still holding the quilt on top of the bed, use your other hand to tuck in any part of the quilt that's dangling down past the mattress. This will make the fold at the bottom corners look nice and crisp.[12]
- If your quilt is a little small, you may not have any excess fabric dangling down. That's perfectly okay and your hospital tuck will look just as neat!
- Flip the triangular fold downward and tuck it in. Lift the edge of the quilt that you just folded upward onto the bed and bring it straight down. Straighten it with your hands so that there's a nice vertical fold right at the corner of the mattress. Tuck in the extra fabric until it's smooth and tidy.[13]
- Repeat this for the other bottom corner of the bed.
- Move along each side of the bed and tuck the excess quilt under the mattress. Once you have the corners done, move from the foot to the head of the bed and tuck in any sections of the quilt that are hanging down. If your quilt is thick, you may need to lift the mattress up a few inches around the edge to stuff it in.[14]
- Keep in mind that the farther and tighter you tuck the quilt in, the more you'll have to wiggle around in the bed to loosen it up.
[Edit]Styling Your Bed with a Quilt - Drape a folded quilt horizontally across the foot of the bed. Fold the sheet in half or thirds and lay it horizontally across the foot of the bed, aligning the edge of the quilt with the edge of the mattress.[15] The half-fold is easy to do if both sides of your quilt are meant to show—just make the bed as usual and fold it straight down.[16]
- Make sure the color of the quilt matches the color of at least 1 or 2 of the throw pillows so it looks put together.
- Lay a bed runner on top of the folded quilt for a touch of luxury.
- Feel free to drape 2 different quilts across the bed to add a cozy vibe—just make sure the colors and patterns don't clash.
- Fold the quilt into thirds and lay it diagonally across the foot of the bed. Lay the quilt out onto a large folding area with the decorative side facing down. Grab the 2 bottom corners with your hands and fold them a third of the way up. Grab the top corners and fold them to the bottom edge created by your last fold. Carefully pick it up, flip it over, and drape it at a 45-degree angle from your headboard.[17]
- A 45-degree angle will make sure the quilt stays on the bed if someone were to sit on it and shuffle around a bit. However, feel free to experiment with different angles according to your taste!
- For a playful, layered look, drape a quilt onto the bed first and place the folded one on top at an angle. Just choose patterns and color schemes that look well together (e.g., 2 pastel colored quilts or 1 patterned and 1 solid-colored quilt).
- For an ultra-relaxed vibe, skip the folding part and drape the quilt lengthwise at an angle.
- Layer multiple colors of quilts for a cozy, modern look. Choose a colorful patterned quilt and a monochromatic quilt. Spread 1 onto the bed like a bedspread and drape the other across the foot of the bed.[18]
- For instance, you might pair a blue and green paisley quilt with a solid royal-blue quilt.
- For a more adventurous look, spread a checkered quilt onto the bed and place a folded striped or chevron-patterned quilt at the foot of the bed.
- This is a great way to spruce up a monochromatic room and make that comfy bed look extra inviting!
- Put a fluffy comforter over a patterned quilt to keep you warm in the winter. Spread the quilt out onto the bed as you usually would and then top it with a monochromatic comforter. Fold the comforter back so it only covers the bottom third of the bed. The quilt will peek out from under the comforter, giving your bedroom a pop of color and a plush, cozy look.[19]
- Make sure one of the accent colors on the quilt closely matches the color of the comforter.
- If your comforter is white, choose a quilt with several different colors on it to really make it pop!
- For summertime, simply fold the comforter all the way down to the foot of the bed so you don't get too hot.
- Wash your quilt every 1 or 2 weeks in the washing machine with cold water and a gentle detergent. Check to care instructions to see if you can put it in the tumble dryer or if it needs to be air-dried.[20]
- Use a lint roller to remove pet hair from the quilt at least once a week.
[Edit]Warnings - If your bed frame has sharp metal edges, be careful tucking the sheets and quilt in—those corners can cut you if you slide your hand along them just right!
[Edit]References |
| How to Have Good Table Manners Posted: 14 Aug 2021 01:00 AM PDT Whether you've been invited to a dinner party or you're going out to eat, brushing up on your table manners is a good way to prepare. Having table manners can leave a great impression on your fellow guests, and it will help everyone feel happy and comfortable as they enjoy their meal. We've compiled a list of things to remember at the dinner table so you can enjoy delicious food and fun times with your friends and family members. [Edit]Wash your hands before you sit down. - Make sure your hands are clean before you dig in. Head to the restroom and give your hands a good scrubbing with soap and water before you sit down. If you're teaching table manners to a kid, this is a good time to tell them how long to wash their hands and how hard to scrub.[1]
- Some fancier restaurants will even bring you a dish of water to dip your hands in. However, this is usually reserved for fine dining.
[Edit]Put your phone on silent. - No one wants to be interrupted by a ringing phone. Before you head to the table, put your phone on silent or vibrate and stash it away in a pocket or a purse. If you get an important phone call, excuse yourself from the table to take it so you don't disturb any other guests.[2]
- Try to keep your phone off the table while you eat. It can be a distraction to keep it so close to the food.
[Edit]Wait for everyone to be seated. - This includes the host, too! If you're at a dinner party, let everyone get settled before you touch your place setting. The same goes for a restaurant—once your party is seated, you can start getting settled.[3]
- If there isn't assigned seating, give the guest of honor or the host the best seat at the table (usually the seat at the head of the table). Everyone else can sit wherever they'd like to.
- Always enter and leave the dining chair from it's right in a restaurant and at a formal dinner. Before doing so help the lady on your right or left by pulling her chair back when she starts sitting and the pushing it in. Men in military enter the chair from left and leave from right as formal dinner is considered a parade.
[Edit]Place your napkin on your lap. - It will catch any food that falls off your fork. Unfold your napkin and gently place it over your entire lap, smoothing it down so it lays flat. You can use your napkin throughout your meal to wipe your hands or your mouth as you need to.[4]
- The napkin is the very first thing you want to touch when sitting down.
- If you need to leave the table, put your napkin on the chair, not on the table. It will signal that you're coming back and you aren't finished with your food.
[Edit]Pass all food dishes to the right. - If you're serving your own food, keep passing dishes around. Once you've taken enough food, hand the dish off to the person on your right. Try not to reach over anyone to get more food, and politely ask them to pass you a dish if you'd like more.[5]
- If there's bread on the table, cut some off the loaf and offer the pieces to the person on your left before passing it on.
[Edit]Don't eat until the host eats. - If there's no host, wait for the guest of honor to start eating. Once they take their first bite, you can go ahead and dig in! Some people also like to say grace or make a toast before a meal, so you may have to wait on that, too.[6]
- If you're having food with your family, wait until the person who made the food starts eating.
[Edit]Use the utensils from the outside in. - Fine dining may have more than one set of utensils. If you aren't sure which one to use, a good rule of thumb is just to work from the outside in. As you eat through different courses, you'll use different spoons or forks.[7]
- If you're just at a dinner party with friends and family, you probably won't have to worry about multiple sets of utensils.
- On your left, the utensils from the outside in are the salad fork, the dinner fork, and the dessert fork. On your right, you'll have a soup spoon, then a tea spoon, then a dinner knife.
[Edit]Keep your elbows off the table. - Tuck them in by your sides while you eat. Putting your elbows on the table takes up a lot of space, and it's considered bad manners. If you have any older relatives at the table, they might even call you out on it![8]
- If you aren't eating or you're in between courses, it's okay to rest your elbows on the table. The no elbows rule only applies when utensils are in use.
[Edit]Eat slowly and with your mouth closed. - Try not to show anyone your food as you chew. If you want to say something, finish what's in your mouth and swallow before speaking up. Eat your food slowly and one bite at a time to avoid wolfing anything down.[9]
- The same goes for drinking: try to take small sips and avoid slurping or splashing your drink.
[Edit]Say "please" and "thank you." - This includes thanking the host at the end of the meal. Make sure you're polite and respectful to everyone around you when you ask them to pass you food or hand you more bread. If you're being served your food at a restaurant, say thank you to the servers as they bring you items.[10]
[Edit]Take part in the conversation. - A dinner party is about more than just food. As you eat, be sure to talk to the other guests around you and join in on the topic of conversation.[11] Be sure to chew and swallow your food thoroughly before you start talking, and listen attentively to those around you.[12]
- If you don't know the people sitting next to you, introduce yourself and ask them how they know the host. That should be enough to get a lively conversation going!
[Edit]Cover your mouth if you need to burp. - Burping happens, and that's okay. If you feel a burp coming on, quickly cover your mouth with your napkin and keep your mouth closed so it isn't loud. When you're done, just say "excuse me" and keep eating.[13]
- If you get the hiccups and they won't go away, it's polite to leave the table until they stop.
[Edit]Pick up your utensils if you drop them. - Then, ask for a new one. If you can't reach the utensils you dropped, let the waiter or the host know as you request a new one. The same thing goes for your napkin: if it touches the floor, just ask for a replacement.[14]
- If you drop any food, discreetly pick it up with your napkin. Then, ask your waiter for a new napkin.
[Edit]Put your utensils on your plate when you're done. - It will make cleanup a lot easier. Try to place them both in the center of your plate so they don't fall off. If you're at a restaurant, it will signal to the waiter that you're ready for your plate to be taken away.[15]
- You can cross your utensils or just place them side by side.
[Edit]Help clear the table at the end of the meal. - If you're at a family dinner, pitch in for the cleanup. Help gather plates, napkins, and cups to bring to the kitchen. If you're really feeling polite, you could even offer to wash the dishes! The host will really appreciate it, and you might just land an invite to the next dinner party.[16]
- When in doubt, copy what the host does.
- If you need to excuse yourself to the restroom, just say, "excuse me, I'll be right back." No need to elaborate on where you're going.
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