| How to Express Anger in a Relationship Posted: 10 Aug 2021 05:00 PM PDT Though it's no fun, it's perfectly normal and even healthy to get angry when you're in a relationship. When you spend a lot of time with someone, conflicts come up, no matter how in love or happy you are. There's a lot of ways to let out your anger, and some are better than others. Read on for some tips on expressing your anger while maintaining a healthy, strong relationship. [Edit]Give yourself some time to calm down. - It's easy to lash out in the heat of the moment. Take a moment to breathe. Go on a walk around the block. Meditate or watch an episode of a funny TV show. Regain control of your mind so it doesn't get carried away with anger.[1]
- By addressing the situation from a calmer mindset, you can figure out what's really upsetting you and determine the most respectful way to address it.
[Edit]Clarify your feelings before expressing them. - Understand why you're angry before confronting your partner.[2] Write down why you're upset in a journal to understand your emotions. Read back what you wrote to look for signs or triggers that may have set you off.[3] You can also try venting to a trusted friend or family member to get a better handle on what may have angered you.
- Processing your emotions first helps you come to the conversation with a clear head. That way, you can be specific about what's upsetting you.
- You may also realize that your anger is masking another underlying emotion, like hurt or rejection. If that's the case, share those feelings with your partner.[4]
- Sometimes, outside factors can impact how angry you feel, too—like being hungry, tired, or in pain.[5]
[Edit]Tell them exactly what's on your mind. - Communicate your feelings in a direct, respectful way. It's nerve-wracking to confront someone, but it gives your partner a chance to understand your point of view and even remedy the situation. Tell your partner how you feel and be specific. Avoid being passive-aggressive or waiting for them to notice you're upset.[6]
- Start the conversation with something like, "I wanted to let you know that I was pretty hurt by what you said the other day."
- Follow with specifics, like how their words made you feel. Maybe your partner was teasing you but what they said really stung. Try, "I know you were kidding, but what you said made me feel pretty disrespected."
- Try addressing the problem as soon as it comes up. That might help it from turning into full-blown anger.[7]
[Edit]Use "I" statements to confront your partner. - This helps you communicate your feelings without placing blame. Your partner may have messed up, but they'll understand w better if you emphasize how their actions affected you. Try something like, "I am a really sensitive person, so when you spoke to me using that tone, I was really hurt and upset."[8]
- As tempting as it may be to yell or demean your partner, try to remain cool, calm, and collected. It'll get your point across more effectively and will minimize the damage the conflict could cause to your relationship.
[Edit]Use a calm, compassionate tone of voice. - Yelling and sarcasm can really hurt your partner's feelings. Even if you're angry, use a gentle tone of voice so that your partner can hear your words without getting defensive or hurt themselves. If you find yourself tempted to shout at your partner, try your best to exhibit self-control and communicate your feelings gracefully. It's hard work, but it helps you both get through the conflict with your love and respect for each other intact.[9]
[Edit]Listen to your partner's point of view. - Give your partner a chance to share their perspective. After sharing your feelings, ask your partner what they're thinking. Give them a chance to speak and really listen to them. Make eye contact while they speak and don't interrupt them.[10] Remember that relationships involve give and take. To work things out, listen to each other's points of view even when they differ.[11]
- Talking to your partner about their perspective helps you get closer to a mutual understanding. Maybe your anger is the result of a misunderstanding, or perhaps your partner made a mistake that they would really like to rectify.[12]
[Edit]Empathize with their perspective. - You can be compassionate and angry at the same time. Yes, maybe your partner really messed up when they snapped at you. That isn't excusable, but it could help you feel better if you understand what caused them to behave that way. Maybe they had a bad day or they're stressed out because of work. Understanding what's behind their behavior can help you take their actions a little less personally.[13]
- This doesn't mean you should ignore how you feel; your anger is still valid.
[Edit]Work together to find a compromise. - Decide what will work best to resolve your anger. It's hard to work past conflict, especially if you're pretty angry, but it's important for the relationship to continue. Work together to come up with a solution that works for both of you, like agreeing to consult each other before setting a date for big plans or events.[14]
[Edit]Take a break if things get too heated. - Stop the argument mid-conversation if you have to. Take time to calm down and get away for a while.[15] Return to the conversation when you know you can express your feelings in a healthy way.[16]
- Say something like, "I need some space right now to cool off. Can we take a few minutes and come back to this?"
[Edit]Talk to a therapist if you're struggling. - It's okay to get outside help if you need it. A therapist or counselor can give you tools to express your anger in a healthy way. Search online for a mental health professional in your area or get a referral from your doctor. If your anger is hurting your relationship or quality of life, getting therapy is a courageous, meaningful step towards improving both.[17]
- Anger issues can be a warning sign of mental health issues like depression, anxiety, or chronic stress.
- Anger management classes can be a helpful too.
- If you or your partner engage in anger behaviors that make you feel unsafe, seek help. Use websites like https://www.thehotline.org/ to find resources and support.
[Edit]References |
| How to Stand Up for Yourself Without Crying Posted: 10 Aug 2021 09:00 AM PDT If you want to stand up for yourself but always feel the tears coming, you're not alone. It can be really difficult and frustrating when crying becomes a major obstacle to expressing yourself—especially when you know that what you have to say is valid and important. There might be many reasons why you tend to cry, like emotional distress or lack of self confidence, but you shouldn't feel like there's no way to stand up for yourself without crying, or that you're stuck in the same situation every time: we hope that with the help of these strategies, you'll be able to prioritize and stand up for yourself, and gain the respect that you deserve. [Edit]Take deep breaths. - Taking deep breaths activates a natural relaxation response. If you feel like you're on the verge of crying, you're likely feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Taking a deep breath is a quick but effective way to reduce tension and stress. By taking deep breaths, you're sending a message to your brain to calm down—your heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing will all decrease. This may help you stand up for yourself without crying because you'll feel more relaxed and grounded.[1]
- You can even practice special breathing exercises to help relax. For example, you can try belly breathing: sit or lie flat, put one hand on your belly, and take a deep breath in through your nose, letting your belly push your hand out. Then breathe out through pursed lips and use your hand to push the air out of your belly. Repeat 3-10 times, taking your time with each breath.
- If you can get a few minutes by yourself, close your eyes while you're taking deep breaths, and imagine something that makes you feel peaceful and happy.[2]
[Edit]Use "I" statements to reduce defensiveness. - Using "I" language will make the encounter less hostile. By using "I" statements, you can help draw the conversation away from an atmosphere that becomes too negative and accusatory. When you focus on communicating your perspective without trying to attack the other person, you can help defuse the situation and tone down intense emotions that might be causing you to cry.[3]
- For example, rather than saying "You really hurt me when you said that," try saying instead, "I was hurt by what you said."
- Or, if you are disagreeing with the other person, you can say something like "I understand why you feel that way and I hear you, but this is how I feel."
[Edit]Speak firmly and deliberately. - Another way to prevent yourself from crying is to be deliberate. Rather than going on and on, say what you want to and then stop and wait for the other person to respond. Even if you have a lot you want to say, you'll be able to get to it in in time—but if you let yourself get caught up in your frustration and sadness all at once, you may be more likely escalate your emotions and begin crying.[4]
- Try not to raise your voice or show that you're upset. By keeping cool and being as fact-based as possible, you'll make it easier for yourself to get your points across.
[Edit]Pretend you're acting and everyone else is an actor too. - Thinking of the encounter as part of a script may help you distance yourself emotionally. Then, it won't feel so much like real life or a really personal encounter—but rather something you can get through with a clear head because it's constructed and not real. Instead of being caught up in the moment, pretend that you and everyone around you are just acting out a scene in a movie or play. This might help you get through what you need to say without crying.
- For example, imagine that you're standing on a stage in a theater. You might be the main character, and the person you're standing up to is the antagonist. As you speak, try your best to believe that everything you say, and that they say in response, is part of a written script or predetermined plot.
[Edit]Use quick tricks to ward off the tears. - If the encounter is unexpected or you're caught off guard, you can try some tricks. Some of these strategies are more physical, while others are more mental. They can help provide you with an emotional cooldown by briefly distracting you from the situation. The next time you feel like you're going to cry when you're standing up for yourself, try one of these tricks:[5]
- Push your tongue against the roof of your mouth.
- Pinch the skin between your thumb and pointer finger.
- Try to think of words that rhyme.
- Count backward from 100 in 7s.
[Edit]Stand up tall. - Having better body posture can boost your confidence. You may find yourself crying because you don't have confidence in yourself, but research has found that your body posture can actually make you think more positive thoughts about yourself.[6] Try to stand straight, plant your feet wide, and keep your head up—you may find that you feel better about your worth and what you have to say.[7]
- You can train yourself to be aware of your body posture at any time (not just during confrontations), which is a great confidence boost in general. Do this by checking in on your posture throughout the day: correct your posture if you find yourself slumping at any time, and it will become more natural and effortless over time!
[Edit]Postpone the discussion if you need time to calm down. - If the situation allows, try scheduling a future time for the encounter. This way, rather than feeling rushed or overwhelmed about the current situation, you'll have time to calm down and think about what you're going to say.[8]
- For example, if you are dealing with a sibling who always picks on you, tell them that you'd like to speak with them the next week about it, rather than lashing out in the moment.
[Edit]Rehearse what you're going to say. - If possible, plan out how you're going to stand up for yourself. You'll be less likely to stumble, get tongue twisted, or spiral into emotional distress. By practicing as much as possible, not only can you increase your confidence and decrease your nerves, you'll also be better at keeping the conversation on track and as objective as possible, rather than getting caught up in the emotional intensity of the moment.[9]
- There are many different ways you can practice staying cool during the later encounter. For example, you can practice with yourself in the mirror, or close your eyes and simply run through the scenario in your head, or even role play with a friend or family member!
[Edit]Cry before the encounter. - Getting the emotions out first can help you avoid crying later. If you know that the encounter is coming up in the future rather than happening in the immediate moment, you can try processing the emotions beforehand by letting yourself cry. Once you've already dealt with the emotions, you might be more likely to stay calm later.[10]
[Edit]Acknowledge your fear or anxiety. - One reason you may be crying is because you feel overwhelmed by anxiety. You might be anticipating and dreading that it's going to happen. It's hard to get away from that, even if you want to stand up for yourself—but battling against it might be making it worse. Experiencing anxiety is totally normal, so try and take a moment to accept the anxiety first before speaking, which might help lessen rather than make it worse.[11]
- For example, step away from the other person or situation for a moment (if possible) and take a second to collect yourself. Recognize that you are anxious about dealing with this, but that your anxiety is normal and temporary.
[Edit]Think positive thoughts to change your mindset. - Once you've acknowledged your anxious thoughts, try to actively change them. Rather than letting the feeling of uncontrollability overwhelm you, help yourself out by turning your thoughts to positivity and optimism. This will help you go into the encounter with a calmer, less agitated mindset—and you'll feel more comfortable standing up for yourself as a result.[12]
- For example, if you're not sure how you're going to get through the confrontation, tell yourself, "I'm going to go out there and try my best. It might seem impossible right now, but it's a success even if I make a little bit of progress."
- Imagine how proud you'll be after you stand up for yourself. Remember, you're worthy of your own protection, so don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.[13]
- It's okay if you aren't successful on your first or even first couple of tries. It's important to recognize that not only is crying a common and understandable reaction to emotional distress, but that you can still make a stand and get your point across even if you are crying. You'll get better with time and practice—so be easy on yourself during the journey!
[Edit]References |
| How to Get Friendmojis on Snapchat on Android Posted: 10 Aug 2021 01:00 AM PDT This wikiHow teaches you how to create and send Friendmojis on Snapchat using your Android phone or tablet. A Friendmoji is a special type of Bitmoji that features both you and a friend in one sticker. After you and your friend have both linked your Bitmoji avatars to Snapchat, it'll be easy to send cute Friendmojis to each other while chatting—you can even add them as stickers to your photo and video Snaps. [Edit]Linking your Bitmoji to Snapchat - Create your Bitmoji. If you haven't already created a Bitmoji for yourself, you'll need one before you can use Friendmoji. To get started, download the Bitmoji app from the Play Store, open it up, and follow the on-screen instructions to create the new cartoon version of yourself!
- Open Snapchat on your Android. This is the yellow-and-white ghost icon in your app list. Snapchat will open up to the camera screen.
- Tap the profile icon. It's at the top-left corner.[1] This opens your profile.
- Tap or . The option you see varies depending on whether you've ever linked a Bitmoji to Snapchat.
- Tap the button. Consider reading the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy above the Agree & Connect button before you connect Bitmoji to Snapchat. Once you agree, your Bitmoji will be linked to Snapchat.
- Tap the back button to return to the camera screen.
[Edit]Sending Friendmojis - Swipe right on the camera screen. This opens the Chat screen, where you'll find conversations with your friends.
- Open a chat. You can tap any existing chat to open it, or tap the New Chat button (the speech bubble) at the top-right corner to create a new one.
- You can even send Friendmoji in group chats!
- Tap the sticker icon. It's the smiley face at the bottom of the chat. You'll now see various Friendmoji you can share that contain both you and your friend (as long as your friend has a Bitmoji).
- If you're in a group chat, you'll only see Friendmoji for one friend at first. To see options starring a different friend, tap and hold any Friendmoji to display all of your friends' avatars, and then tap the friend you want in your Friendmoji. This refreshes the list to display Friendmoji of you and that person. Finally, tap a Friendmoji to send it to the group chat.
- Tap the Friendmoji you want to send. This sends the Friendmoji to your friend(s) in the chat.
- You can also add Friendmoji to your Snaps. After creating a photo or video Snap, tap the sticker (the square with a folded-up corner) on the Snap, tap the winking face at the top, and then tap the Friendmoji you want to add. You can then drag the Friendmoji anywhere on the Snap, and-or resize it by pinching (or reverse-pinching) it with two fingers.
[Edit]References [Edit]Quick Summary |
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