| How to Get Someone to Talk About Themselves Posted: 08 Mar 2021 04:00 PM PST Conversations are all about finding a balance of give and take—but what happens when you're the only one giving? Not to worry—whether it's a casual acquaintance or loved one, there are plenty of ways to get someone to open up. Here are a few conversational tips and tricks to help you get started! [Edit]Create a welcoming environment. - Let the other person know that they're in a safe space. It can be tough for someone to open up, especially if they don't know you well. Remind them that they're in a judgment-free zone, and that you're here to listen and be supportive.[1]
- You might say something like, "I promise that anything you share will stay between us" or "I'm always here to lend a listening ear."
[Edit]Be an active listener. - Show the other person that they have your full attention. Maintain eye contact whenever you have a chat, so they know you're paying attention. As they speak, focus on listening instead of interrupting or speaking over them—this might encourage them to open up a little more.[2]
- If you have a phone or laptop nearby, set it aside so the person knows you're paying attention.
[Edit]Ask about their day. - People enjoy talking about themselves. Believe it or not, research shows that talking about yourself is as enjoyable as eating a delicious meal or spending money.[3] Invite people to talk about their day, their plans for the weekend, or anything else about their personal life. Chances are, the person might want to share![4]
- Questions like "Got any plans for the weekend?" or "See any good movies lately?" could inspire someone to talk about themselves.
[Edit]Talk about their interests. - Ask about their hobbies, interests, and side projects. Most people love talking about their passions, and these types of questions can really help get the conversation going. Take a close look at their outfit, jewelry, or accessories and see if they hint at a particular hobby.[5]
- For instance, if someone is wearing a sports jersey or hoodie, you might ask them if they enjoy watching a certain sport.
[Edit]Request advice. - Advice is a more subtle way to get someone to open up. While offering some advice, the person might share a similar experience they dealt with. In fact, experts agree that asking for advice is a great way to leave a positive impression on the people around you.[6]
- You might ask something like "What should I do in this situation?" or "What would you do if you were in my position?"
[Edit]Try the 2-question technique. - The 2-question technique involves asking a positive question followed by a general one. Start off the conversation by asking about something positive in a person's life. Then, ask a second, broader question about how they're doing. Research shows that people are more likely to reply positively about their life if they're already thinking about something positive.[7]
- You could ask "How is your cat doing?" as an opening question to a cat-loving friend. Then, segue into asking about how their day is going.
- Ask about any topic that will definitely make the other person happen—this might be their family, an upcoming vacation, or something else altogether.
- A person might be more willing to open up if they're already thinking about something positive.
[Edit]Parrot the 3 words they just said. - Repeating a person's last 3 words keeps the conversation going. Careful repetition also proves that you were listening closely in a conversation, which fosters trust. Just repeat the last 3 words that a person says—chances are, they'll continue talking even more about themselves.[8]
- For instance, a work acquaintance might say something like, "I can't wait to go to my family's beach house in Florida." In response, you might say, "A house in Florida?" Then, they might talk more about their upcoming vacation.
[Edit]Reply calmly. - Anxious people might worry about saying the "wrong" thing. As you speak with them, speak in a calm tone of voice instead of acting surprised. A calm response will put them at ease, and inspire them to share even more with you.[9]
- Simple phrases like "oh, of course" can really put an anxious person at ease, and encourage them to open up.
[Edit]Act like a role model. - Share a story from your own life. It can be tough for someone to open up if you haven't shared anything, either. Break the ice by offering up an anecdote of your own. If you open up the conversation, they might feel more at ease.[10]
- You might share a story about your weekend, or about something funny that happened to you.
- Ask follow-up questions once you're done sharing your story! This could help keep the conversation going.
[Edit]Be empathetic. - Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. As the person opens up, let them know that you understand what they're saying. If the other person feels heard and supported, they might continue to open up and talk more about themselves.[11]
- You might say something like, "I totally get that" or "That's definitely happened to me before."
- If you're having a deep discussion with a friend or loved one, state what you'd like to get out of the conversation at the very beginning. This may help make the conversation a little more productive.[12]
[Edit]Warnings - Don't nag or beg for someone to open up. Personal conversations and connections take time to develop.[13]
[Edit]References |
| How to Start Working Out Posted: 08 Mar 2021 08:00 AM PST Although nearly everyone likes the idea of regularly exercising or hitting the gym, maintaining the motivation to exercise regularly is a different story. It can be tough to establish and maintain a workout regimen. Fortunately, there are some tricks that can help you. Focus on establishing and meeting easily attainable exercise goals. Instead of getting frustrated and giving up when you don't see results immediately, focus on exercising 2 or 3 times a week, for as little as 20-30 minutes each time.
[Edit]Setting Clear Goals - Talk to your doctor before beginning a workout regimen. If you're a rookie to the workout game, check with your doctor to see if there are any types of workouts or exercises that you need to avoid. This is especially important if you suffer from any chronic illnesses or have a physical disability. If this is the case, it's wise to consult a doctor.
- If you're a male over 45 or a woman over 55, do not start an exercise regimen without speaking to your doctor first.
- Your physician may even be able to suggest some specific exercises that you can safely perform.
- Choose an exercise goal and a timeframe in which to accomplish it.[1] This can be totally different for each person. Maybe you want to build muscle, maybe you want to lose weight, or maybe you want to keep your body fit and healthy. Having a clear goal will motivate you to continue exercising even when you don't feel like it. Aim for something specific: to run a half-marathon in 6 months, or to perform 30 push-ups per minute in 3 weeks.[2]
- Think about what you want to be good at. Maybe you don't have a weight goal or a waistline goal, but you want to be able to run a 5k, no problem.
- Many people exercise so they can lose a little weight. Do you want to be thinner around the waist by summer? lighter in 6 months? Lose 5% of your body fat by next year?
- Make sure to set healthy goals for yourself. Don't try to lose an excessive amount of weight in a short amount of time. If you're uncertain whether an exercise or weight-loss goal is healthy or not, check with your doctor.
- Make exercise a priority in your schedule. It's easy to fill up your free time with activities other than working out. To avoid this situation, prioritize daily (or weekly) exercise over other inessential parts of your day. Making exercise your first priority will ensure that it doesn't get put off as mundane obligations start to pile up during the day.[3]
- For example, set your alarm an hour earlier and get in some time at the gym before work every morning. Or, let your friends know that you can't make it out for happy hour, since you need to exercise right after work.
- Conversely, be careful not to obsess over exercising, or to cut off social ties for the sake of working out. Keep yourself motivated by interspersing exercise with other components of your life.
[Edit]Choosing the Right Workouts for You - Join a gym if you like a mix of strength and cardio. A gym's main benefit is convenience: it has cardio machines, weight machines, and free weights (among other equipment) all in 1 place. If your main exercise goals are to improve your heart rate, lose weight, or bulk up on muscle, a gym is the best place to start.[4]
- Don't worry about feeling intimidated by other gym members, either. Most people at gyms are supportive of one another and mind their own business.
- Average gym membership costs can range from $20-45 USD per month. If that's more than you can afford, try looking around for a discount gym in your area. Discount gyms may have fewer machines and weights but can cost as little as $10 USD per month.
- Try yoga if you're looking for a low-impact exercise. Yoga is a great add-on exercise to a cardio routine, and it is very relaxing. Look into yoga if you'd like a calming, centering experience that also stretches and builds tone in your muscles.
- Many YouTube channels offer yoga guidance. You can also look into taking a yoga class at a nearby gym.
- Take group classes for extra motivation. Being around a group of other people who are doing the same exercise routine as you are can be fun. You'll be motivated to keep up with everybody else in the group, and can make some friends among your classmates. Taking classes is also a great way to figure out which type of exercise you enjoy most and would like to pursue further.[5]
- Most gyms and workout facilities offer classes at all different skill levels. If you're just starting a new type of exercise—e.g., a spin class or yoga class—check out the beginner-level course.
- Work with a personal trainer if you want more individual attention. A trainer can familiarize you with the gym, show you how equipment works, and answer any exercise-related questions you may have. Even if you don't plan to work with a personal trainer long-term, having 2 or 3 sessions with a trainer can be a great way to learn about different types of exercise and find one that you enjoy.[6]
- Depending on the gym you're a member at, you may be entitled to a free session with a personal trainer just for signing up.
- Once the free sessions have expired, you'll be looking at an average cost of $80-125 USD per session to work with the trainers. If you'd like a less-expensive option, see if trainers at the gym offer group-training sessions.[7]
- You can also hire a private personal trainer to come to your home, but this is a much more expensive option.
- Work out at home if you have time or financial constraints. If you don't have the time or money to purchase a gym membership, you can easily find ways to work out at your own home. You can purchase a few small weights and do simple exercises while lying on your bed. Or, carry a heavy object around with you while you're going about your day.[8]
- You can purchase barbells or dumbbells at a local sport-supply store. If you're more inclined towards cardio, purchase a jump rope and jump for 15–20 minutes a day.
- Focus on the basics of weight training. Nobody starts out curling or bench pressing . Begin your weight training with simple, reliable workouts that effectively build muscle. Start doing 4 to 8 different exercises, making sure to work out different muscle groups. Don't go for heavy weight when you start—it's better to lift lighter and maintain the right form.[9] Good weight lifts include:
- Use a fitness app to track your progress. If you have a smartphone or tablet, download 1 or 2 fitness tracker apps to log your progress and monitor weekly improvements. Using an app can help motivate you to work out regularly, by allowing you to track calories, steps, sleep cycles, and other elements related to exercise and health.[11] Try out apps like:
- MyFitnessPal, which allows you to track calories in the food you eat and features a step counter.
- Sworkit, which provides exercise videos that show you how to perform over 200 types of workout.
- MapMyRun, which will present you with multiple route options in your area based on how far and long you want to run.
- Find a workout buddy for accountability. It's easy to get burned out on exercise if you're doing it alone. To prevent this fatigue, find a friend who wants to start an exercise program too. Ask if they'd like to join you on your bi-weekly trips to the gym, or a daily jog. Having a friend or 2 around to work out with will help keep you accountable and ensure that you stick to your exercise schedule.[12]
- If you have a friend who already regularly works out, ask if you can join in on their schedule.
[Edit]Implementing a Workable Routine - Select days and times when you can exercise. This will help the exercise regimen become a habit. In order to integrate this into your lifestyle, you'll need to make it a priority.[13] To do this, set aside a time at least a few days a week. For example, plan to run for an hour every morning a 7am. Or, plan to hit the gym on Mondays from 6 to 8 pm.
- Getting over the initial hump will be the hardest part. If you exercise sporadically, whenever you feel like it, you'll fail to start an effective habit.
- Start with some simple exercises. For general-purpose exercise, it's best to develop a well-rounded exercise regimen. As you figure out what exercises you prefer, you can later tailor your regimen and goals towards these exercises. Focus on strength training and cardio workouts at first.[14]
- Try incorporating cardiovascular activity to your workouts. Start out simple with walking or running, whether on a treadmill or a trail. Do this for 20 minutes, 3-5 times a week.[15]
- Incorporate strength-training exercises (like free weights or weight machines) into your weekly workouts too. Exercise all of your major muscle groups (chest and arms, legs, and core) at least 2–3 times a week.[16]
- Put together a fun exercise playlist. You'll be more motivated to start exercise—and to keep going—if you have energetic music to listen to. Put together an hour's worth of upbeat rock, pop, or hip-hop songs. Listening to music while exercising will distract you from the pain your muscles are in, and motivate you to push your body.[17]
- Or, if you don't have time to put your own playlist together, find pre-made workout playlists on music streaming sites like Spotify or Pandora.
- Sneak in a few mini-workouts throughout the day. You don't have to spend hours at the gym in order to exercise. There are plenty of short, effective workouts you can do during the day, whether at an office building or your home.[18] You can work out at your office or work desk and get in some cardio exercise without even leaving your office.
- For example, if you work in an office building, take a 20-minute walk during lunch. Or, jog up and down the stairs for 15 minutes to raise your heart rate.
- Or, every 2 hours, take a 10-minute break to do 30 push-ups and 30 sit-ups.
- Don't exhaust yourself in the early phases of exercising. At the beginning, it's very important to know what you're capable of and listen to your body. Once you find yourself getting very short of breath, or your legs feel weak and wobbly, it's time to stop running. Or, if your arms are shaking and you're worried you may drop a weight on yourself, stop lifting immediately.
- If you feel pain, shortness of breath, dizziness, or nausea, take a break. You may be pushing yourself too hard.
- Allow recovery time after each workout. Give your body 1 day off to recover between sessions. You may not be able to exercise tomorrow, but you'll be able to exercise in the long run. Don't work out the same muscle group two days in a row—the muscles are literally ripping as you strengthen them.[19]
- For strength training, it's very important to give your muscles 24 to 48 hours to repair themselves. Let them heal. If your muscles are still sore after 1 day off, add an extra off-day to be safe.
[Edit]Creating New Habits - Make new goals that reflect your improving fitness level. When you feel it's time, reassess your fitness level. If you've already met your weight-loss goal, you can decide if you want to lose more weight, or start thinking about muscle definition instead. If your goal was to bench press , keep working and set a new goal of benching .
- Your expanded goals don't have to be limited to the gym. Have you been hiking that one trail without fail and with ease since you started? Time for the harder one.
- Or, lengthen the amount of time you work out. Instead of working out twice a week for 20 minutes, start working out 4 times a week for 30 minutes.
- As another alternative, if you're happy with the way your body looks and the amount of muscle tone you've gained, you can set a new goal to maintain your current strength and appearance.
- Try different types of workouts and exercises. Maybe your workout routine includes various activities, such as walking, bicycling, or rowing. If you crave more variety, don't stop there. Take a weekend hike with your family or spend an evening ballroom dancing.[20]
- As you explore activities, you'll most likely find something that tickles your fancy. When you do, latch onto it. Was swing dancing surprisingly enjoyable? Great! That's one more hour each week you'll stay moving.
- If you've been running that same 5k five days a week, take it outside. Find a new trail, start running at night, or start for a 7k. If that's not enough, pick up a new activity entirely. A yoga fan? Try Pilates. Always wanted to try kickboxing? Go for it.
- Build up the frequency of your exercise sessions. As you progress, you'll find that your routine is just too easy. It may be tempting to be content with that, but push yourself. For example, it's smart to start exercising with 2 workouts per week. After 6 months at this rate, add a third exercise session per week. Then, in another month, add a fourth and fifth.[21]
- You can also alternate different types of workouts. For example, hit the gym on Tuesday and Thursday, and run a couple miles on Monday and Wednesday.
- If your goal is weight loss, know that is 3,500 calories. You need to create a 500 calories a day deficit by reducing your caloric intake and working out (if you're on a balanced diet) to lose a week. Or, create a deficit of 500 calories every other day to lose in 2 weeks.
- Don't force yourself to do exercises that you hate. Going to the gym does not have to be your only option. If you like swimming, dancing, or hiking, great! These are all exercises, too.
- Finding friends to exercise with can keep you motivated and hold you accountable to meet your exercise goals.[22]
[Edit]References [Edit]Quick Summary |
| How to Sew an Apron Posted: 08 Mar 2021 12:00 AM PST Aprons are essential for keeping your clothes clean while working in the kitchen or doing housework, but they can be expensive! Making your own apron is easy as long as you have some basic sewing skills and a sewing machine. Buy, download, or create a pattern, choose the fabric you want to use, and get started! [Edit]Cutting Your Fabric - Choose a heavyweight fabric, such as canvas or laminated cotton. Aprons are usually made from a durable, washable fabric. Opt for natural material, such as cotton, but make sure to choose a fabric that is heavy enough to protect your clothing from any food or grease that may splatter onto it.[1]
- Buy, download, or create a pattern for the apron body. Purchase an apron pattern in a craft supply store. If you don't want to buy a pattern, find a free apron pattern online to download and print. To create a pattern, fold an apron in half lengthwise and place it on top of a large piece of paper. Then, trace around the outside of the apron to create a pattern for the body of the apron. Add an additional around the non-fold adjacent edges of the apron body for seam allowance.[2]
- Measure the straps and draw them on the pattern paper. Measure the length and width of the strap that goes around the neck. Do the same for the ties at the waist of the apron. Then, draw a rectangle that is twice the width and half the length of each of the straps plus to both measurements for seam allowance. Make a separate pattern for the neck strap and the waist straps.[3]
- For example, if the waist straps on the apron that you are using as your example are , then your rectangle would need to be plus seam allowance, so .
- Only make 1 waist strap pattern and cut it out 2 times to get 2 waist tie pieces.
- Fold your fabric in half and pin the pattern pieces on the fabric. Fold the fabric in half lengthwise and smooth it out to make sure that there are no lumps or bumps. Place the body pattern piece so that the long straight edge is against the fold. Place the strap pieces so that 1 of the short ends is on the fold. Insert pins through the pattern piece and fabric. Place 1 pin every going all the way around the edges.[4]
- Pinning your pattern on the fold saves you the trouble of cutting out 2 pieces for each part of the apron and sewing them together again.
- Cut along the edges of the paper pattern pieces. Use a sharp pair of fabric scissors to cut out the fabric pieces for your apron. Do not cut along the fold! Cut out 1 body piece, 2 waist straps, and 1 neck strap. Cut out 2 waist strap pieces using the waist pattern piece you made.[5]
- Make sure to use a pair of sharp fabric scissors to cut out your pieces and be careful not to create any jagged edges as you cut.
[Edit]Hemming the Apron Pieces - Fold the strap pieces in half lengthwise with the right (front) sides facing. Open up one of the strap pieces to its full length. Then, fold the piece in half lengthwise to line up the raw edges on the long sides of the strap pieces. Make sure that the right (front or print) sides of the fabric are facing each other and only the wrong (back or non-print) sides are visible. Place a pin every to secure the folded fabric.[6]
- Repeat this for each of the strap pieces.
- Sew along the raw edges of the straps leaving a opening. Set your sewing machine to the straight stitch setting and begin sewing along the edges of one of the straps. Position the needle so that it is from the raw edges of the fabric. When you reach the center of the long edge, stop sewing and cut the thread. Then, resume sewing about from this position.[7]
- This opening is required to invert the strap fabric through, so make sure that you include it!
- Remove the pins as you sew! Otherwise, you may damage your sewing machine.
- Invert the straps and push out the corners. Use your fingers to turn the strap right-side out. Then, take the pencil that you used to draw the pattern. Push the pencil eraser-first into the opening you left and push it into the corners of the straps.[8]
- Repeat this for the other 2 straps.
- The back end of a chopstick or the back of a capped pen will also work to push out the fabric at the corners.
- Sew the opening closed and hem the edges of the straps. After you have finished inverting the straps, tuck the fabric under along the opening so that it is hidden and even with the rest of the seam. Place a couple of pins through the fabric to hold the opening closed. Then, sew a straight stitch all the way around the edges of the straps. Keep the stitch about from the edges of the straps.[9]
- This will close the opening you left and tack down the edges of the strap for a nice, neat look.
- Hem the edges of the apron body. Fold over the fabric on the edges of the apron body piece by . Make sure to fold the fabric over to the wrong side so that the raw edge will be hidden on the back of the apron. Insert pins every along the edges to hold the fabric in place. Then, sew a straight stitch about from the fold to secure the hem.[10]
- Make sure that you remove the pins as you sew. Do not sew over them or you may damage your machine!
[Edit]Sewing the Apron Pieces Together - Pin the ends of the neck strap to the top edges of the apron. Place the end of the strap so that the right side will be facing out and then the seam will be hidden on the wrong side of the apron body. Make sure that the end of the strap overlaps the top edge of the apron by about . Position the end of each strap so that the outer edge of the strap is parallel to and even with the outer edge of the apron.[11]
- Place a couple of pins through the fabric to secure the strap ends in place.
- Sew a straight stitch in a square shape to secure the ends of the straps. Start sewing at the top most corner of the apron body to attach the first end of the neck strap. Position the needle so that it is about from the edge of the strap and apron body hem. Then, sew straight down by . Turn the fabric 90 degrees and sew across the bottom edge of the strap. Repeat to sew a complete square through the end of the strap and the corner of the apron.[12]
- Repeat this for the other end of the neck strap.
- Pin the ends of the apron ties to opposite edges of the apron body. Attach the waist straps so that they are horizontal and the long edge is parallel to the middle of the apron. Arrange the end of the strap with the right side facing out and the seam facing away from the front of the apron. Overlap the top edge of the apron by about . Position the end of each strap with the outer edge parallel to the outer edge of the apron.[13]
- Repeat for the other strap.
- You may want to slip the apron over your neck to locate your waist before you pin the straps in place.
- Sew in the shape of a square around the edges of each of the straps. Position the needle from the edge of the first waist strap and apron body hem. Then, sew a straight line over from your start point. Rotate the fabric 90 degrees and then sew a straight line down the bottom edge of the strap. Continue to rotate and sew until you have completed the square.[14]
- Repeat for the other waist strap on the opposite side.
- Cut the excess thread and try on your apron. After you have finished attaching your straps, cut the excess threads. Then, slip the neck strap over your head and try on your apron! Tie the waist straps behind your back to secure the apron.
[Edit]Things You'll Need - An old apron
- Paper
- Pencil
- Measuring tape
- of heavy cotton fabric, such as laminated cotton or canvas
- Pins
- Scissors
- Sewing machine
- Thread
[Edit]References |
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