Sunday, October 11, 2020

How to of the Day

How to of the Day


How to Cook Asparagus Tips

Posted: 11 Oct 2020 05:00 PM PDT

Asparagus is a tasty and healthy vegetable that goes with almost any meal. You're probably used to seeing whole stalks, but can you eat the tips? You sure can! In fact, asparagus tips are the tastiest and most tender parts of the whole plant. Better yet, cooking the tips is basically the same as cooking the stalks. Simply cut off the tips and try out one of these recipes for a delicious and nutritious side dish.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Prepping the Asparagus

  1. Buy asparagus with closed tips. The main thing to look for when buying asparagus is firm, compact, closed tips.[1] This means the asparagus is fresh and tasty.
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 1.jpg
    • Also look for plump, straight stems for the healthiest asparagus.[2]
    • If you have to get asparagus with an opened tip, you can try to revive it by soaking it in cold water.
  2. Rinse the stalks in a colander. Prepping asparagus for cooking is very easy and only requires a quick rinse. Put the stalks in a colander and rinse them off under the faucet. Shake the colander to dry the vegetables off.[3] This should get rid of any dirt or debris stuck in the tips.
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 2.jpg
    • If you're not using the asparagus right away, don't wash them! Moisture can make them spoil in storage. Wait until you're about to cook the asparagus to clean it.
  3. Line up the stalks on a cutting board. Cutting the asparagus is also easy. Arrange them in a row on a cutting board. This way, you can cut them all in one pass.[4]
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 3.jpg
  4. Cut the asparagus just below the tip. Take a sharp knife and line it up just below the flowery tips of the asparagus. Press down to slice cleanly through all the stalks, then gather up the tips for cooking.[5]
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 4.jpg
    • Make sure you use a sharp knife to avoid tearing or crushing the asparagus.
    • The rest of the stalk is also edible, except for the very end, which is very tough and woody. You can use all of these cooking tips for the rest of the stalk too.

[Edit]Seasoning the Tips

  1. Add salt and pepper for the most common seasonings. No matter how you cook the asparagus, salt and pepper are always a good addition. Sprinkle some onto the tips before serving for some extra flavor.[6]
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 5.jpg
    • If you roast or grill the asparagus, it's best to season them beforehand so the flavors cook into the tips.
  2. Drizzle some olive oil for extra flavor. The earthy taste of olive oil goes great with asparagus. Try drizzling some on before serving, or tossing the asparagus and other veggies with some oil to add flavor.[7]
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 6.jpg
    • You could also use a different vegetable oil like canola instead.[8] It depends on your preference.
  3. Add some lemon juice for a citrusy flavor. Citrus and asparagus go great together. Try squeezing some fresh lemon juice over the tips before serving.[9]
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 7.jpg
    • You could also zest some lemon over the asparagus for a stronger flavor.
  4. Sprinkle some Parmesan cheese on for some extra zest. You might not think of cheese when you think of asparagus, but it's a very popular flavoring that can really give the vegetable a kick. Try sprinkling some on before roasting or grilling, or adding it afterward before serving.[10]
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 8.jpg
  5. Give the asparagus some crunch with breadcrumbs. This is especially good if you're roasting, barbecuing, or frying the tips. Simply coat the asparagus with breadcrumbs, and any other seasons, before cooking to give them a nice, crunchy exterior.[11]
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 9.jpg
    • For extra flavor, you can use seasoned breadcrumbs.

[Edit]Cooking Options

  1. Boil the asparagus tips for a simple recipe. This is one of the most common and easy ways to cook asparagus. Boil a pot of water, then put the asparagus tips in. Asparagus is usually ready in 5-8 minutes, depending on how tender you want them.[12] However, since you're only cooking the tips, you can shorten this time. Check on the asparagus after about 3 minutes.
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 10.jpg
    • Blanching is similar to boiling, but it keeps the asparagus crunchier. To blanch, bring a few inches of water to a rapid boil, then throw the asparagus in for about 30-60 seconds. After that, take them out and plunge them into ice water to stop the cooking process.[13]
  2. Steam the asparagus in on the stove or in the microwave. This is another simple and popular way to prep asparagus tips. Fill the bottom of a double boiler or steamer with about of water. Boil the water, then throw in the asparagus tips and cover the pot. Asparagus stalks usually cook in 5-8 minutes, but shorten that time since you're only cooking the tips.[14]
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 11.jpg
    • You could also steam the asparagus in your microwave with a wet paper towel.
  3. Roast the tips in the oven. If you prefer your asparagus a little crispy, then roasting the tips is a good choice. Preheat your oven to and arrange the asparagus on a baking sheet. Drizzle some oil over the tips and season with salt and pepper. The roasting time for asparagus stalks is 18-20 minutes.[15] Keep an eye on the asparagus, because the tips should cook faster than this.
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 12.jpg
    • Don't overlap any of the asparagus or they won't all cook correctly.
  4. Add the tips to a stir-fry dish. Heat 1-2 tbsp (5-10 ml) of oil in a skillet, then throw the asparagus tips in.[16] Keep the heat medium-high and stir the tips continuously for 3-5 minutes to cook the tips.[17]
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 13.jpg
    • For more flavor, use butter instead of oil.
    • It's also easy to use the rest of the asparagus stalk in a stir-fry. Just cut them into small pieces about the same size as the tips and throw them in.
    • You could stir-fry the asparagus alone, or throw them in to a whole stir-fry dish and cook everything together.
  5. Grill the tips for a crispier exterior. Grilled asparagus tips are a great side dish for a cookout. Simply put them on a pan and place it directly over a high heat. For whole stalks, cover the grill and wait about 5 minutes for the asparagus to get brown on one side. Then flip them over and cook for another 2-3 minutes.[18] Shorten this time since you're only cooking tips.
    Cook Asparagus Tips Step 14.jpg
    • You might want to pre-season the tips with salt, pepper, olive oil, or any other seasonings you might want.

[Edit]References

How to Get Rid of Yellow Teeth

Posted: 11 Oct 2020 09:00 AM PDT

If your teeth are yellow because of something you ate or the plaque is building up on your teeth, you're in luck. You can restore these stains just by taking proper care of your teeth and brushing them. If your teeth seem like they've turned yellow though, your white enamel has worn away a little and you've exposed the dentin, which is a layer of pulp behind the enamel. This is a normal part of getting older so it doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, but it's understandable that you'd like to have a whiter smile. While you cannot technically replace enamel once it's gone, you can protect the existing enamel and help it remineralize to make your teeth look beautiful and white.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Taking Care of Your Teeth

  1. Brush your teeth for at least 2 minutes, twice a day. Brush first thing in the morning when you get out of bed, and last thing at night before you go to sleep. Use a small dollop of toothpaste and brush in gentle, smooth circular motions and vertical strokes. Spend at least 2 minutes brushing each time you do it and avoid brushing too hard. This is the best way to protect your teeth's enamel and keep your mouth healthy and clean.[1]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 1 Version 2.jpg
    • Give your tongue a few brushes or use a tongue scraper to clean your tongue after you're done with your teeth.
    • Regular toothbrushes are fine, but electric toothbrushes can make it easier to maintain a proper brushing technique. They won't make your teeth cleaner or anything, but they don't require as much effort to use correctly.[2]
    • Brushing more than twice a day can actually wear the enamel on your teeth down. Your teeth won't get cleaner if you brush too hard or too often.
  2. Use fluoridated toothpaste to keep your enamel healthy. There is no good replacement for fluoridated toothpaste. Fluoride strengthens the enamel naturally and helps remove stains, which is essential if you're looking for a beautiful, white smile. While some naturalists worry about fluoride's effect on the body, there's no evidence that fluoridated toothpaste is dangerous to use.[3]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 2 Version 2.jpg
    • While you can't replace enamel, fluoride can help strengthen weakened enamel. This will make your teeth whiter, even though you aren't technically bringing any enamel back.[4]
    • If you have sensitive teeth, feel free to opt for a fluoridated toothpaste designed specifically for sensitive teeth.
    • When it comes to the flavor, style, and texture of the toothpaste, it's entirely a matter of personal preference. None of these qualities impact the toothpaste's ability to clean your teeth so long as the toothpaste has fluoride in it.
    • There isn't much evidence that whitening toothpaste is particularly productive. There's nothing wrong with using it, but don't get upset if you don't see major results.[5]
  3. Floss at least once a day to keep the gaps in your teeth clean. Pull out a length of floss. Wrap the floss around a tooth and slide it back and forth gently while moving it up and down the tooth. Do this for 20-30 seconds and repeat the process with each of your teeth. Floss at least once a day to keep food and plaque from building up in the gaps between your teeth, since food particles and plaque can erode enamel.[6]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 3 Version 2.jpg
    • A lot of people think flossing is optional, but it's not. Flossing is essential when it comes to protecting your teeth and keeping them shiny and white!
    • If your gums bleed when you floss, it means your gums are inflamed. This is basically a form of gum disease, but it may go away on its own with regular flossing and brushing. If you keep bleeding every time you floss, contact your dentist and go in to have them look at your gums.
  4. Rinse your mouth with mouthwash before and after brushing. Use mouthwash twice every time you brush. Swig a capful of mouthwash around in your mouth before brushing to loosen up any food debris in your mouth. Swig another capful after brushing to rinse the toothpaste out and keep your breath fresh.[7]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 4 Version 2.jpg
    • Mouthwash comes in two styles: cosmetic and therapeutic. Cosmetic mouthwash has hydrogen peroxide to help whiten teeth, but there isn't a lot of evidence that it helps with this. Therapeutic mouthwashes are designed to curb bad breath. Either option is fine.
    • Mouthwash will help your teeth stay healthy and clean, but it isn't a replacement for brushing or flossing.
    • If your mouth has a tendency to dry out over the course of the day, mouthwash may help with this.

[Edit]Whitening Your Teeth

  1. Purchase whitening strips to brighten your smile at home. While they aren't going to solve your problems overnight, the whitening strips will help remove yellowing stains. Pick up some whitening strips to make your teeth a shade or two lighter without visiting the dentist. Keep in mind, you cannot use whitening strips if you've had any restorative work done, since the strips may damage the repair.[8]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 5 Version 2.jpg
    • The strips won't whiten restorative work anyway, so any crowns or implants will stand out more if you use whitening strips.
    • Dental professionals seem to have reached a consensus with whitening strips; they tend to universally recommend Crest's Whitening Strips as the safest and most effective option.[9]
  2. Stick the strips to your teeth for 5-45 minutes to use them. Brush your teeth before applying the strips.[10] Then, peel the adhesive backing off of the first strip and line it up with your gum line. Press the strip against your teeth and wrap the bottom around the backside of your teeth. Repeat this process with the second strip on your bottom row of teeth. Follow the directions on the box regarding how long you leave the strips on for.[11]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 6 Version 2.jpg
    • Depending on the brand and style of whitening strips you use, you'll need to leave them on for anywhere from 5 to 45 minutes.
    • Some brands of whitening strips need to be reapplied every day for up to a week.
  3. Avoid DIY teeth whitening treatments using household ingredients. In your research, you may stumble across a variety of teeth whitening methods involving baking soda, hydrogen peroxide, lemon juice, turmeric, or coconut oil. Avoid all of these treatments. While some of them may make your teeth whiter, they can damage your gums or wear away tooth enamel. Talk to your dentist before using any of these whitening tricks.[12]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 7 Version 2.jpg
    • Anything involving citrus is going to eat away at your natural enamel, which can weaken your teeth over time. Strawberries are a popular whitening method, but they don't actually do anything.[13]
    • Hydrogen peroxide can irritate your gums and damage the roots of your teeth. Dentists do use peroxide for whitening treatments, but it's a very unique concentration and formula that you can't mix at home.
    • Turmeric probably won't harm anything, but there's not a lot of evidence that it does anything for the whiteness of your teeth.
    • There's no evidence that coconut oil or oil pulling have any impact on the whiteness of teeth.[14]

[Edit]Keeping Your Teeth from Staining

  1. Drink everything through a straw to protect your natural enamel. Yes, you should even throw a straw in your hot coffee or tea! It may feel silly drinking everything through a straw, but this is a seriously helpful way to protect your teeth and keep them clean. By using a straw, you keep liquids from coating your teeth, which will protect your enamel.[15]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 8 Version 2.jpg
    • The one exception is water. Water naturally has trace amounts of fluoride in it, which is good for your teeth.
  2. Limit your coffee, red wine, and citrus intake to prevent staining. Anything that will stain your carpet will stain your teeth, so try to cut back on your coffee and red wine consumption. Anything high in citrus is also bad for your teeth, since citric acid will eat away your enamel if you consume too much of it. Swap out that lemonade for an ice water the next time you're cooling off on a hot summer day.[16]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 9 Version 2.jpg
    • You can dilute coffee with cream or milk to reduce the odds that it stains your teeth. Drinking rosé or white wine instead of red wine will help for similar reasons.
    • Soy sauce, curry, and tomato sauce will also cause teeth to stain. These things are fine in moderation, but you may want to rinse your mouth out after eating anything with one of these ingredients in it.[17]
  3. Chew sugarless gum 20 minutes after eating a meal. Sugarless gum helps stimulate saliva production, which can help wash out any food particles that are stuck in your teeth. Roughly 20 minutes after your meal, any food particles stuck in your teeth are probably staying there. Throw in a piece of sugarless gum and chew on it for a few minutes. This will help clean your mouth and keep whatever you ate from damaging your teeth.[18]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 10.jpg
    • If you use gum with sugar in it, the sugar can wear away your teeth's enamel which can further expose the yellow dentin underneath.
  4. Stop smoking if you're a regular tobacco user. Tobacco will stain your teeth over time and it will make your teeth turn yellow or brown with prolonged use. Smoking also dramatically increases your risk for lung and oral cancer, so talk to your doctor about how you can quit smoking if you're a regular tobacco user.[19]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 11.jpg
    • There are prescription medications, nicotine patches, nicotine gum, and other options available. Quitting is hard, but it's well worth it if you want your fabulous smile back!

[Edit]Working with Your Dentist

  1. See your dentist every 6 months to get a regular cleaning. Keep a regular schedule with your dentist and see them at least twice a year to get a cleaning and have your teeth examined. There's no replacement for a good dental cleaning from a professional, and your dentist will catch potential problems ahead of time before they get out of hand.[20]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 12.jpg
    • At a dental cleaning, your dentist or hygienist will physically remove any plaque, tartar, and food debris. Then, they'll polish your teeth and remove any stains. This process is painless, and there's no good substitute, so don't skip your dental appointments!
  2. Ask your dentist about coming in for whitening treatments. At your next cleaning, ask your dentist about a whitening treatment. Depending on the condition of your teeth, a dentist can apply a mixture of hydrogen peroxide and other whitening agents to remove deep stains and brighten your teeth. They may also give you a mouth guard that fits your teeth and prescribe a whitening gel for you to do this at home. After a few treatments, your teeth will be a few shades brighter.[21]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 13.jpg
    • This is always going to be more effective than using at-home whitening strips since a dentist will be able to oversee the treatment and customize it for your teeth.
    • Unfortunately, dental insurance rarely covers whitening procedures since they're cosmetic.
  3. Get a mouth guard made if you grind your teeth at night. If your enamel is wearing away because you grind your teeth at night, ask your dentist for a protective mouth guard. They'll take a mold of your teeth and have a custom mouth guard made to keep your teeth safe while you snooze. When you go to bed, put the mouth guard in to protect your teeth.[22]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 14.jpg
    • At first, it may feel a little weird wearing a mouth guard at night. Stick with it, though! You'll get used to it after a few nights.
  4. Schedule an appointment to get veneers for a permanent solution. Ask your dentist if porcelain veneers are a good idea. This is the best way to get rid of yellow teeth and restore your smile, but it can be an expensive procedure. To get veneers, your dentist will take a mold of your teeth and have a custom cover built for your teeth. Then, they'll bind the veneer to your enamel to permanently cover it in a layer of shiny, white porcelain.[23]
    Get Rid of Yellow Teeth Step 15.jpg
    • Veneers can cost $400-4,000 a tooth depending on the specific type of material you choose and the dentist performing the work.[24]

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

  • Outside of whitening strips, teeth whitening products are not regulated particularly well. If you see something on a pharmacy shelf that claims it will whiten your teeth, don't assume it will work.[25]

[Edit]Related wikiHows

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

  1. [v161353_b01]. 10 April 2020.
  2. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8624230/
  3. [v161353_b01]. 10 April 2020.
  4. [v161353_b01]. 10 April 2020.
  5. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/news/publications/health-matters/diy-teeth-whitening-too-good-to-be-true
  6. [v161353_b01]. 10 April 2020.
  7. https://now.tufts.edu/articles/should-i-use-mouthwash
  8. [v161353_b01]. 10 April 2020.
  9. [v161353_b01]. 10 April 2020.
  10. [v161353_b01]. 10 April 2020.
  11. https://crest.com/en-us/oral-health/why-crest/whitestrips/crest-whitestrips-instructions-safe-easy-teeth-whitening
  12. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/news/publications/health-matters/diy-teeth-whitening-too-good-to-be-true
  13. https://now.uiowa.edu/2014/10/want-whiter-teeth-fruit-mixture-not-answer
  14. https://www.nature.com/articles/bdjteam201849
  15. [v161353_b01]. 10 April 2020.
  16. https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/the-aging-mouth-and-how-to-keep-it-younger
  17. https://now.tufts.edu/articles/what-causes-discolored-teeth-and-there-any-way-cure-or-prevent-staining
  18. https://now.tufts.edu/articles/what-causes-discolored-teeth-and-there-any-way-cure-or-prevent-staining
  19. https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/the-aging-mouth-and-how-to-keep-it-younger
  20. [v161353_b01]. 10 April 2020.
  21. http://www.bu.edu/articles/2012/the-truth-about-teeth-whiteners/
  22. https://now.tufts.edu/articles/what-causes-discolored-teeth-and-there-any-way-cure-or-prevent-staining
  23. https://www.uthscsa.edu/patient-care/dental/services/veneers
  24. https://www.townandcountrymag.com/style/beauty-products/a26521951/what-are-veneers/
  25. http://www.bu.edu/articles/2012/the-truth-about-teeth-whiteners/

How to Show Empathy

Posted: 11 Oct 2020 01:00 AM PDT

Being able to practice empathy is one of the most important skills you can learn. To do it, you have to put yourself in someone else's shoes and see the world from where they're sitting. Giving another person your full attention and really listening to what they have to say is the best and easiest place to start. Once you get comfortable with that, work on doing and saying things that make them feel supported and understood. Learning to be empathetic takes time and practice, but the end result can help you connect with others on a deeper level and lead a more fulfilling life.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Improving Your Listening Skills

  1. Give the person your undivided attention so they feel important. Get rid of any potential distractions, like your phone or computer, so you can focus completely on the other person. This creates a safe, supportive space for the person to share what they have to say because it shows that you respect and care about their thoughts and feelings.[1]
    Show Empathy Step 1 Version 8.jpg
    • For example, if you're in the middle of an email and your friend wants to talk, put your laptop aside for a few minutes so you can focus on them.
    • If you accidentally get distracted, bring yourself back to the present by saying something like, "I'm sorry, can you repeat what you just said? I didn't catch that last part."
  2. Let the person speak without interrupting them as a sign of respect. Try to avoid inserting your own thoughts and feelings into the conversation. Remember, this is all about the other person's thoughts and feelings! Give them a chance to say everything they need to say without interrupting them.[2]
    Show Empathy Step 2 Version 7.jpg
    • It can be tempting to offer advice, but keep in mind that the best way to help is to listen to them.
    • If the person pauses or seems unsure about continuing, it's okay to say something encouraging like, "Please, keep going" or "Go on."
  3. Look them in the eye and nod to show that you're engaged. Supportive, nonverbal body language lets the other person know that you're listening. Sit or stand up straight, face them, look them directly in the eye, and nod every now and then to make it clear you're engaged in the conversation and following along.[3]
    Show Empathy Step 3 Version 8.jpg
    • Sometimes, just nodding silently can seem a bit cold. It's completely fine to say things like "I understand or "Mmm-hmm."[4]
    • Don't let your gaze drift around the room, but try to avoid staring the person down, as well. It can take a little time to perfect this skill, but you can do it!
    • Unspoken rules about eye contact can vary by culture or in certain situations; you may need to adapt. For example, someone from America or Canada might expect more eye contact than someone from Japan or Asia. People on the autism spectrum may actually feel threatened by persistent eye contact.[5]
  4. Acknowledge their feelings to show support and understanding. Acknowledging someone's feelings makes them feel heard and validated.[6] Pay attention to the words they're saying, but watch for other clues about their emotional state like their vocal inflection, tone of voice, the amount of enthusiasm they're showing (or lack of it), facial expressions, posture, and so on.[7] Once you understand what they're feeling, acknowledge it out loud by saying things like:
    Show Empathy Step 4 Version 7.jpg
    • "It sounds like you're going through a lot right now."
    • "I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It's a tough situation."
    • "I can see how difficult this must be for you."
  5. Avoid passing judgment so you can see things from their perspective. Try to let go of your own opinions so you can see things the way the other person is seeing and experiencing them. You don't have to agree with everything the person says, but being as objective as possible shows them that you care about their side of the story.[8]
    Show Empathy Step 5 Version 7.jpg
    • Taking the time to gain a deeper understanding of another person's perspective is a big part of empathy.[9]
    • Making snap judgments about others is a natural part of being human. Our ancestors did it to feel out potentially dangerous people and situations. It can take some practice to override this natural tendency.[10]
  6. Paraphrase or summarize what they said to show you were listening. Once the person finishes talking or whenever there's natural lull in the conversation, briefly restate what they said to you. You can summarize in a general way, restate their main ideas, or acknowledge the specific feelings the person shared with you. Do whatever feels right for the situation.[11] You might say:
    Show Empathy Step 6 Version 7.jpg
    • "It sounds like you're pretty upset about your brother not paying you back the money he owes you. That's a lot to deal with."
    • "You sound excited about Erik's news! This is a big step for him."
    • It's also fine to paraphrase in question form since this can help the person see how they feel more clearly. For example: "So are you saying that you felt uncomfortable in that situation?"[12]
  7. Ask for clarification if there's anything you don't understand. If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask them during a pause or at the end of the conversation. Follow-up questions show the other person that you truly want to understand their position and their answers allow you to gain more insight into their point of view.[13] You could ask questions like:
    Show Empathy Step 7 Version 7.jpg
    • "Can you tell me more about how he acted the last time you saw him?"
    • "What was her reaction when you shared your big news with her?"
    • "What do you mean when you say you are a failure?"[14]

[Edit]Connecting on a Deeper Level

  1. Share your own experiences so they feel understood and less alone. Listening is crucial, but empathy is often a two-way street. Sharing your own vulnerabilities or experiences can create an emotional connection between you and the other person, especially if you've been through a similar situation. Disclosing your own experiences isn't always appropriate, so feel it out and choose your opportunities wisely.[15] You might tell them:
    Show Empathy Step 8 Version 7.jpg
    • "I remember when my mother told me I would never amount to anything. It was an awful feeling."
    • "I felt that way right after I graduated, too. It can be tough to get your bearings when you're first starting out."
    • "I experienced a similar situation when I was going through my divorce. The custody battle was one of the most harrowing experiences of my life."
  2. Offer useful feedback or insight without hijacking the conversation. Providing feedback and sharing any useful thoughts and ideas you have can deepen the conversation and make it feel more collaborative. It can also help the other person see their situation in a new light or show them alternative paths to consider. Just be careful not to make the conversation about you! Only offer feedback that will be useful to them after they've shared what they need to say.[16] Try saying things like:
    Show Empathy Step 9 Version 6.jpg
    • "I went through something similar last year with my girlfriend. Once we confronted the situation head on, things got easier for us. Maybe doing something similar could help in your situation?"
    • "I haven't experienced anything like that before, but I think I would probably react by doing/saying/feeling _____."
    • I hear what you're saying. What do you think about trying ______?"
  3. Avoid telling them what to do or feel to keep communication open. Never try to direct or control a person's emotions after they share them. Offering possible solutions can be helpful, but telling someone how to deal with or solve a problem after one conversation feels dismissive.[17] For example, avoid things like:
    Show Empathy Step 10 Version 7.jpg
    • "You shouldn't worry so much about what other people think." Telling them that they shouldn't worry when they're clearly already worried just creates an unsafe space where they no longer feel comfortable sharing with you.
    • "This might feel like a big right deal now, but later on you'll see that it didn't really matter that much." Young people tend to hear this a lot from their elders. Remember: the way they feel right now is all that matters.
  4. Ask if you can do anything to help to show them that you care. Offering your help shows the person that you're willing to take time out of your day to do something for them without asking for anything in return. Oftentimes, just offering your help is all it really takes for the other person to feel seen, understood, and less alone. If you do offer your help and they take you up on it, it's really important to show up and make good on your offer.[18] For example, try saying:
    Show Empathy Step 11 Version 6.jpg
    • "I'm here for you any time you need me. Is there anything I can do right now to help you feel better?"
    • "Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you?"
    • "I'm here to help when or if you need me. All you have to do is reach out and I'm there."
  5. Offer physical affection to comfort them if it feels appropriate. You can't do this with everyone, but if you know the person well, give them a hug, put an arm around their shoulders, or briefly touch their arm or hand. The act of touching creates a connection between the two of you and many people are comforted by touch.[19]
    Show Empathy Step 12 Version 6.jpg
    • Some people don't like being touched. Everyone is different! Do what feels right in the moment.
    • If you don't know the person well, you might want to ask if it's okay before you go in for a hug. Say something like, "Is it okay if I hug you right now?"
    • A gentle pat on the back is appropriate in most situations if you're unsure what to do.

[Edit]Cultivating an Empathetic Personality

  1. Challenge your prejudices and biases to see the world more objectively. It can be tough to realize that something you've always believed or assumed to be true is actually deeply ingrained prejudice. Take time to analyze your own prejudices before passing judgment or dismissing someone. Search for things that you share in common with them instead of focusing on how you're different from them.[20]
    Show Empathy Step 13 Version 6.jpg
    • For example, try to see the individual person standing in front of you rather than a "welfare mom," "terrorist," or "gang member."
  2. Volunteer with an organization to see what other people's lives are like. Volunteering connects you with people who you probably would have never crossed paths with in your everyday life. Interacting with them and see their struggles helps you look at their world through their eyes. Do some research in your local community to determine which populations may be in need.[21]
    Show Empathy Step 14.jpg
    • For example, volunteer at a local homeless shelter or the Red Cross.
    • Check out local organizations for inner city kids, abuse survivors, and people suffering from addiction and see how you can help out.
  3. Be curious about other people to learn more about their lives. Challenge yourself to have a conversation with at least one new person each week to get a glimpse into their world. Don't interrogate them, just make an attempt to sit and talk with them. Try to go beyond simply chatting about the weather, although the weather can be a good opener![22]
    Show Empathy Step 15.jpg
    • To start a conversation with a stranger, try asking a question about the book they're reading. Or you could ask someone for help or an explanation about something in your environment. Smile encouragingly and speak kindly.
    • If you feel threatened or uncomfortable, end the conversation and get away. Trust your instincts.
  4. Use your imagination to put yourself in someone else's shoes. You can't experience every single thing that can happen to another person, but you can use your imagination to give you an inkling of how it might feel to be them. For example, if you see a homeless man asking for money, try imagining what it would be like to live on the streets.[23]
    Show Empathy Step 16.jpg
    • Research shows fiction readers tend to be better at understanding emotions, behaviors, and intentions than other people. Read widely and try to branch out into the works of marginalized people to get a broader glimpse of the world.[24]

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

[Edit]Warnings

  • Don't be discouraged if you don't do it right the first few times. Like anything else, showing empathy takes practice.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

  1. https://www.crisisprevention.com/Blog/7-Tips-for-Empathic-Listening
  2. https://learninginaction.com/PDF/ELSR.pdf
  3. https://www.crisisprevention.com/Blog/7-Tips-for-Empathic-Listening
  4. https://hbr.org/2016/07/what-great-listeners-actually-do
  5. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0118094
  6. https://hbr.org/2016/07/what-great-listeners-actually-do
  7. https://training.fema.gov/emiweb/downloads/is242.pdf
  8. https://www.crisisprevention.com/Blog/7-Tips-for-Empathic-Listening
  9. http://www.csus.edu/indiv/d/duboisj/HOBn/essential_elements.html
  10. https://blog.ed.ted.com/2020/04/20/we-all-make-snap-judgments-about-each-other-heres-how-to-stop/
  11. https://learninginaction.com/PDF/ELSR.pdf
  12. https://positivepsychology.com/active-listening/
  13. https://hbr.org/2016/07/what-great-listeners-actually-do/
  14. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-would-aristotle-do/201505/how-be-empathetic
  15. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-would-aristotle-do/201505/how-be-empathetic
  16. https://hbr.org/2016/07/what-great-listeners-actually-do
  17. https://nature.berkeley.edu/ucce50/ag-labor/7labor/15.pdf
  18. https://students.ubc.ca/ubclife/emotional-intelligence-101-empathetic-responses
  19. https://www.ccs.neu.edu/~schulman/empathic-touch-ieeetac10.pdf
  20. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1
  21. https://commons.lib.jmu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1067&context=honors201019
  22. http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1
  23. https://helda.helsinki.fi/bitstream/handle/10138/15277/5_Duyndam.pdf
  24. http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/chaning_our_minds

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