| How to Embrace Your Inner Child Posted: 04 Nov 2016 05:00 PM PDT The inner child is the source of a person's vitality and creativity. Developing a relationship with your inner child can also heal emotional problems that result from not honoring that part of yourself. Life in the adult world can threaten to extinguish your inner child's flame, but you can fight back against those pressures by embracing and reconnecting with your childhood source. EditMeeting Your Inner Child - Reconnect with your childhood. One way to rekindle the relationship with your inner child is to "time travel" back to your childhood. Do this by making a list of things that brought you joy when you were young. Explore these memories and try to recall that childhood wonder.[1] Revisiting these activities is also a good idea. Some ideas:
- Sports, whether that's soccer, kickball, football, basketball, baseball, or something else.
- Exploring the woods. A picnic is a great idea.
- Playing pretend. This can be dressing up and having a tea party or fighting off a band of pirates.
- Identify your specific inner child. If the relationship with your inner child has dwindled over the years, try to identify what stage of development your child is in now. This will help you create a roadmap for bringing your inner child back into your life.[2] Some examples are:
- The abandoned child. This inner child often comes about as a result of parents divorcing or being too busy to spare attention. Some of the clues are fears of being abandoned and feeling lonely or insecure.
- The playful child. This child is a healthy, often neglected aspect of adulthood. The playful child wants to have spontaneous fun and live free from guilt or anxiety.
- The fearful child. This child probably received a lot of criticism as a child and experiences anxiety whenever it doesn't get enough affirmation.
- Write a letter to your inner child. This can be an apology if you feel like you've neglected your inner child and want to repair that connection. It can also be a simple letter expressing your desire to strengthen the friendship.
- Tailor your letter to the type of inner child you have. If she is fearful, try to reassure her and soften those fears. If she's worried about being abandoned, let her know that you will do your best always to be there for her. If she is playful, tell her you want to honor that lighthearted freedom.
- Cultivate an open space. Your inner child is a vulnerable person. She may need a safe space before she shows herself. Many people hide or deny the existence of the inner child because they think it makes them look weak.[3] To let your inner child shine through, be gentle and affirming. Approach her softly, like a small animal whose trust you want to gain.
- Sit quietly and tell your inner child that you want to know more about her, that you're available to talk, and that you want her to feel safe. This may sound silly, but what you're doing is accessing another part of yourself and your unconscious mind.
- Listen to your feelings. One important way to get in touch with your inner child is to pay close attention to feelings that pop up in your daily life. These can be traced back to many of the wonderful and painful experiences of childhood when you were young and impressionable. The inner child's fears and insecurities, as well as her joys and feelings of wonder, often unfold into the emotional patterns of our adult lives.
- Throughout the day, check in with yourself. Ask, "what am I feeling right now?" Try to put words to these feelings.
- Be mindful of your inner critic. One of the biggest obstacles to giving your inner child the attention and care she needs is a critical voice. This voice can tell you that you're too old to have childlike insecurities or embrace the silliness of childhood.
- The inner critic begins to develop in childhood; it's a reaction to the inner child being stifled.[4] Respect your inner critic as part of your inner child who has been let down or hurt but avoid buying into negative self-talk.
- Respond to your inner critic by saying "I understand where you're coming from. I understand that you're hurt. I'm here for you."
EditNurturing Your Inner Child - Take your inner child seriously. You may be tempted to push your inner child away because her problems seem irrelevant to your life as an adult. This isn't true, however, since many of our deepest feelings are carried forward by the inner child. Avoid the temptation of disregarding or ignoring your inner child. She can't be sidestepped.[5]
- Listen to her like you would an actual child in front of you. She's just as real and her feelings matter just as much.
- Accept your inner child's feelings. You may experience frustration if feelings of anger or insecurity well up inside you. It's important to let yourself feel this energy, however, because this is the inner child speaking to you.
- She may throw a tantrum or get sorrowful. You can accept these emotions without "giving in" to them. Acknowledge them and then move on without letting them dictate your actions.
- Use re-parenting to heal. Re-parenting is based on the idea that as an adult you now possess the knowledge and resources to give your inner child what she needs.[6] If you feel like your inner child needs some healing before she can show up in your life at her best, this can be a good approach to try. You know better than anyone what she needs, based on hurtful experiences in her past, and how to help.
- For example, if your parents never gave you a birthday party, throw one for yourself. Invite your friends and tell them you're making up for this part of your childhood.
- For another example, affirm yourself when you know you've done something you can be proud of. Say "I'm proud of myself and my achievements."[7]
- Protect your inner child. Although you want to avoid being held back by childhood fears, it's a good idea to be sensitive to your inner child's needs as well. If you have particular insecurities that you haven't fully overcome, respect them. You may have a fear of heights that first showed up in childhood. Be kind to the part of you that's still unsure about high diving boards or climbing.
- Also, stay out of toxic situations. If being around specific people reinforces childhood anxieties, limit contact with those individuals. For example, if you have a brother who picks on you and makes you feel bad about yourself, avoid spending more time with him than necessary.
- Organize your living area. Make your home more open to the playfulness of childhood.[8] Changing your environment will change the way you feel, so inject some childlike spontaneity and creativity into your life. Research shows that things as simple as different hues can affect mood.[9] Place familiar objects like trophies or stuffed animals on your mantle. Dig up old pictures of you and your family to put around the house. Try sprucing up the color of your walls, either by painting them or hanging light-hearted artwork.
EditDeveloping your Sense of Fun - Play hide and seek. If you have children or nieces/nephews, get them to play with you. Getting your adult friends involved can also be fun. There's a whole psychology behind hide and seek that says it's a life-affirming game of exploration and being loved.[10]
- Buy a trampoline or use someone else's. You could even rent a bouncy house for a day and invite all of your friends. The physical activity will help you burn off stress, and the experience will remind you of how much you enjoyed bouncing as a child.[11]
- Fingerpaint, draw, or buy a coloring book. These activities will help you tap into your childhood creativity, where objects you draw aren't just things on a page, but open up entire emotional worlds. Research suggests that drawing helps children express their emotions, which they aren't aware of yet in the same way than adults can be.[12] Drawing and other visual arts can help your inner child express herself.
- Throw a dance party. Dancing can help you burn off stress like other physical activity, and it's also a creative avenue of expression that spans different age groups. Everyone loves to dance, from childhood all the way to old age. Use dance to connect with your inner child in a way that also honors your adulthood desires and interests.
- Make sure to include songs from your childhood in the playlist!
- Try free-writing or free-drawing. This involves letting your conscious mind rest while other parts of yourself take over. It can be a powerful source of creativity and fun, especially if you set the intention of letting your inner child express herself as she sees fit.
- Use crayons, colored pencils, or colored paper to make things more fun.
- If you have kids of your own, try to see the world through their eyes. When you do fun things together, adopt that carefree attitude.
- You can create fun anywhere. Enlist the aid of your inner child while you do chores and fulfill other responsibilities. Make things into a game.
- Avoid people who think it's immature to be silly. These people probably have an overactive inner critic and don't recognize the importance of their inner child.
- Avoid going so far into child mode that you neglect your adult responsibilities. Find a balance that works for you.
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| How to Press Assault Charges Posted: 04 Nov 2016 09:00 AM PDT Assault is a crime whose legal definition varies by jurisdiction. In the criminal statutes of some U.S. states, assault is defined as "making another person reasonably apprehend an imminent harmful or offensive contact" with "the intent to cause physical injury".[1] In other criminal statutes, assault is defined as actually causing such an injury with the intent to cause physical injury.[2] Assault is, in addition to being a crime, also a tort (i.e. a civil wrong) and may be defined in both the criminal and tort statutes of some states as intentionally "putting another person in reasonable apprehension of an imminent harmful or offensive contact" regardless of whether there exists intent to cause physical injury and regardless of whether an actual injury results. [3] If you believe you have been the victim of assault, you may consider pressing charges against your assailant(s). EditFiling Charges With the Police - Gather potential witnesses. If the assault took place in the presence of witnesses, contact those witnesses as soon as possible after the assault. It is important to do this as soon as possible after the assault so that it is easier to track down the witnesses and so that the incident is fresh in their memories.
- Write down the details of the assault. To press charges against your assailant, you will need to visit your local police department, particularly in those situations in which police officers were not called or did not arrive at the scene of the crime.[4] Before visiting the police department, write down the details of how the assault occurred and the name and any other information you have about your assailant. The police will ask you for this information, and it will be easier to recall this information if you have it written down.
- Visit your local police department. Once you have written down the information necessary to press charges against your assailant, visit your local police department to report the assault.[5] Take the information you wrote down about the assault with you to the police station.
- Call the police if unable to visit. It may be the case that you are unable to visit your local police department. This may be, for example, because you are afraid of running into your assailant. If so, call the police, explain the incident, and tell them why you are unable to visit the police station yourself. The police should then send an officer to your home who will help you file an assault report.
- Provide the police with the relevant information. When you visit your local police department, the police officer in charge of your case will file an assault report. To file this report, the officer will require from you information about the assault and the assailant.[6] This information includes:
- Your name and address;
- Your assailant's name and address (if known);
- The place where the assault took place;
- The date and time of the assault;
- How the assault occurred.[7]
- Try to recall as much as possible about the assault. It may be the case that you do not recall all of the necessary information required by the police to identify your assailant. If this is the case, the police officer in charge of your case will likely ask you to describe your assailant in as much detail as possible.[8]
EditWaiting to Provide Additional Evidence - Collect a copy of the assault report. Once the police officer in charge of your case obtains all of the information needed to file a report, you will be issued a copy of the assault report. Keep this report in a safe place.[9]
- Wait for further information about your case. After the police file an assault report, that report will then be sent to the prosecutor's office. The prosecutor will, at that point, look at the report and determine if there is sufficient evidence to prosecute the assailant. If there is sufficient evidence to prosecute, a judge will issue an arrest warrant for the assailant.[10] You must wait for further communication during this time.
- Provide additional evidence. It may be the case that after the assailant has been arrested, the police may wish to investigate the crime further to obtain additional evidence. You may be contacted by the police for further questioning. Cooperate with the police and try to provide as much further information to the police as possible.[11]
EditSeeking Orders of Protection - Seek an order of protection if necessary. If you are worried about filing assault charges for fear of retribution from your assailant, know that you can also request an order of protection from the court after filing an assault charge. An order of protection, commonly referred to as a restraining order, prevents your assailant from coming within a specified distance of you. If your assailant violates the restraining order, he can immediately be arrested.[12]
- Apply for an order of protection. To apply for an order of protection, you can visit your local district or county attorney's office, or through a legal aid service program. The order must be filed in the county in which either you or your assailant lives.[13] Rules on orders of protection vary by state, so you should visit this website to determine what the particular rules are in your state regarding civil orders of protection in the case of stalking or harassment.
- Call the police if the restraining order is violated. If you have successfully sought an order of protection and your assailant violates that order, immediately call the police. Remember that a protective order is a piece of paper and cannot offer you complete protection. As soon as you find that your assailant has violated the order, immediately call law enforcement for help by dialing 911.[14]
- You can pursue a civil complaint against the person that assaulted you because, in addition to being a crime, an assault is also a tort (a civil wrong). Proving a civil wrong requires less proof than pursuing a criminal assault. Filing a civil suit requires going to your local county court and submitting a complaint. If the person files an answer to the complaint, then you have to prove your case in civil court. The individual may have to pay you monetary damages if you win.
- Pressing charges may provide you with the opportunity to put the incident behind you and achieve a sense of closure that might otherwise be missing if you chose to ignore the incident.
- Know that pressing charges against your assailant may also serve as a public service because by bringing the assailant to justice, you may be preventing the assailant from doing the same to others in the future.
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| How to Throw a Curveball Posted: 04 Nov 2016 01:00 AM PDT Once you've perfected your fastball, learn how to throw a curveball to improve your pitching skills. A well-thrown curveball looks like a fastball, but it spins in the opposite direction, causing it to "break" in a different direction before reaching the hitter. With a little luck, the hitter will swing early and miss the ball. To master this skill, you'll have to perfect your basic curveball, the straight curveball, and the knuckle curveball. EditThrowing a Basic Curveball - Grip the ball between your thumb and middle finger. Place your middle finger along the bottom seam of the baseball and your thumb along the back seam. Leave your index finger off the ball. Instead of using it to grip the ball, you'll be using it to point at where you want the ball to go.[1]
- Hold the baseball such that the curves of the seams are close to your palm, with one on top and one on the bottom of your palm.
- For right-handed people, place your middle finger on the right seam on top, and your thumb on the left seam on bottom. Lefties should do the opposite.
- Keep your grip hidden. If the hitter knows you're about to throw a curveball, they'll be prepared for the change in speed and drop. It's important to hide your pitch until you wind up to throw it. Make sure your glove is covering your hand gripping the ball, so no one on the other team will be able to see that you're gripping for a curveball.[2]
- The basic curveball grip is easy for experienced hitters to spot even during the windup. Practice hiding your grip so your curveballs are harder to read.
- Wind up and throw the pitch. Place your dominant foot on the rubber. Lift your opposite knee and rotate your hips forward as you throw the ball. Your elbow should be level with or above your arm, and bent at a 90-degree angle. Complete the first part of your curveball pitch as you would a fastball.[3]
- A basic, four seam fastball will have your middle and pointer fingers on top of the ball on the seam that runs left and right across the ball when the ball is facing you. Your thumb should be directly on the smooth leather of the bottom of the ball, in between the seams.[4]
- Snap the release. Keep your palm facing inward towards your body, and release the ball as your arm extends and you step forward with the opposite foot. As your arm comes down from the throw, it should be headed toward the opposite hip.[5]
- Snap quickly from top to bottom, rather than moving your hand in an arc across your body.
- When you release the ball, rotate your thumb up and your middle finger down, as though you were going to snap your thumb and middle finger together. The ball will move in the direction your middle finger is pointing.
- You'll want to release the ball as close to your body as you can. This is called "short arming," and will create more resistance between your middle finger and seam, increasing spin and curve.[6]
- Practice. Master a basic curveball before you move on to more complicated forms. Remember, the spinning action of the throw is achieved by gripping the ball without pressure from the index finger and snapping as the ball is released. Keep this movement in mind as you throw.[7]
EditPitching a Straight Curveball - Grip the ball between your thumb, forefinger, and middle finger. This is the classic curveball grip. Grip the ball with the bottom seam between your index and middle fingers, and place your thumb along the back seam. Hold the baseball such that the curves of the seams are close to your palm, with one on top front and one on bottom rear of the ball.[8]
- The "front" of the ball refers to the part that will be traveling away from you when thrown, while "rear" refers to the part of the ball facing you after the ball is thrown.
- For right-handed people, place your middle finger on the right seam on top, and your thumb on the left seam on bottom. Lefties should do the opposite.
- Use your index finger to point at the target. As with the basic curve, you should be using your index finger to point at where you wish to throw the ball. This time, though, it'll also be steadying your middle finger.
- Keep your hand position hidden. Same as with most pitches, you'll want to make sure your grip isn't visible to the other team by hiding it behind your glove until you wind up to throw the pitch. Otherwise, the hitter will be warned that you're about to throw a curveball, and you aren't likely to get the results you want.[9]
- If you have difficulty hiding your pitch before the wind up, you may want to position your ball as deeply in your mitt as possible before taking your grip on the ball.
- Wind up and throw. Put dominant foot on the rubber, in a parallel position. Lift your opposite knee and rotate your hips forward as you throw the ball. Your elbow should be level with or above your arm, and bent at a 90-degree angle. This windup is exactly the same as that you'd use when throwing a fastball.[10]
- Release the ball with a snap. Keep your palm facing inward toward your body, and release the ball as you step forward with the opposite foot. As your arm comes down from the throw, snap it toward the opposite hip.
- As you release the ball, rotate your thumb upward and your middle finger downward, as though you were snapping your thumb and middle finger together.[11]
- Try modifying your grip. If you slightly change the positioning of your fingers, you can change the way the ball breaks, confusing the hitter even more. Regular curve balls are known as 11-5 throws because the ball breaks in the angle formed by the 11 and 5 numbers on a clock. Try these variations to make your throw break differently:
- A 12-6 curve ball will break downward more sharply. Place your index and middle fingers between the seams, and your thumb on the bottom of the ball. Do an abbreviated snap as you throw, or release the ball as your hand passes your head instead of following the arm motion all the way through. To account for the sharp break, throw a 12-6 a bit higher than you would a normal curve ball.
- A 10-4 curve ball will start up and close to the hitter, then break low and away. Start your grip as you would for a traditional curve ball then slide your index and middle fingers downward a bit, toward your thumb. Place the majority of the pressure on your middle finger, and turn your wrist outward from your body as you throw.[12]
EditThrowing a Knuckle Curveball - Grip the ball. The knuckle curveball is similar to other grips, but the variable this time will be your index finger. Grip the ball with your middle finger along the bottom seam, and your thumb along the back seam. Hold the baseball such that the curves of the seams are close to your palm, with one on top and one on the bottom of your palm. Bend your index finger inward before laying it on the ball so that your nail and top knuckle are resting on the ball and your middle knuckle is pointing at the target.
- For right-handed people, place your middle finger on the right seam on top, and your thumb on the left seam on bottom. Lefties should do the opposite.
- Getting comfortable with a knuckle curve ball grip can take practice. Acclimate yourself to how it feels by practicing the grip, without throwing, when you have downtime.
- This kind of curveball is considered more advanced than other kinds. Don't be discouraged if it takes some time to master.[13]
- Use your index knuckle to point at your target. As with the straight curve, your index finger will be both pointing to the target and steadying your middle finger, but has the added benefit of adding more torque through the bending of your knuckle.[14]
- Keep your grip hidden in your baseball glove. This is extra important with a knuckle curve ball, since your finger placement will make it obvious at a glance. Make sure the ball is deep in your glove before taking hold of it with the knuckle curveball grip.[15]
- Wind up and throw. Your dominant foot should be on the rubber, in a parallel position. Lift your opposite knee and rotate your hips forward as you throw the ball. Your elbow should be level with or above your arm, and bent at a 90-degree angle, same as a normal fastball pitch.[16]
- Snap the release. Keep your palm facing inward to your body, and release the ball as you step forward with the opposite foot. The ball should be out of your hand shortly after it passes your head. As your arm comes down from the throw, snap it toward the opposite hip. Twist your thumb upward and your middle finger downward to put a spin on the ball.[17]
- The closer you snap your wrist to your body, the straighter and sharper the curve will be.
- Get a bigger drop out of your curve by snapping your wrist as hard as you can. The harder the snap, the more bite or action you'll have on the ball.
- When practicing curveballs, you should focus more on its curve than throwing a strike. Once you've mastered the curve, you can work on accuracy.
- When throwing a curve, it may help to think of your arm motion similar to the motion of hammering a nail.
- Throwing a curve ball for a long period can hurt your arm. A 12-6 curve puts a lot of stress on the UCL.
- Do not twist your arm to throw a curve. You can easily do harm to your humerus bone throwing in this fashion.
- Do not start throwing a curve ball until you're at least at the age of 15 or older. Practicing this pitch at too young an age could harm your muscular development.
- Never twist your wrist when throwing a curveball or a slider. When releasing a curveball, rotate your arm downward as if you were executing a karate chop or shaking someone's hand. Bring your throwing arm to opposite side hip (if you're a righty that's to the left hip, and vice versa for a lefty).
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