| How to Pack for a Move Posted: 20 Nov 2016 04:00 PM PST Few people look forward to packing––not even when they are looking forward to the move itself. To make things easier, it's important to start collecting boxes at least a month (and preferably more) before the moving date. Supermarkets and hospitals tend to have ideally sized, clean boxes, so it can be useful to ask them to save some for you or pick them up every time you shop. Start packing early to minimize the rush and you'll be ready to get started. EditGetting Started and Getting Organized - Gather all required packing supplies and moving boxes of different sizes. You will need different sizes of strong moving boxes to pack items of different sizes. Make sure you purchase good quality packing materials and strong moving boxes or cartons; it may be wise to consult a professional for recommendations. Also, consider acquiring:
- Padding supplies
- Bubble wraps
- Wrapping sheets
- Newspapers, blank newsprint paper
- Scissors
- Heavy duty packaging tape
- Labeling stickers
- Marking pens
- Create a "moving file" with important paperwork you will need throughout your move. Include in it your moving truck reservation, moving helper payment codes (if applicable), pet veterinarian records (again, if applicable), cash for movers tips, your hotel reservation, contact information for important people (realtor or property owner), and any important documents you could need before you have the chance to unpack.
- Keep this file in a safe place, such as in your purse or personal bag, where you will not accidentally pack it in a box. It should also be in a place where it won't get buried in a mess that may develop.
- Pack a suitcase or box for each member of the family several days in advance. Include a personal-sized bar of soap, new toothbrush and toothpaste, towel and washcloth, disposable razor if needed, some "relaxing" clothes (sweats or something similar) and two complete changes of clothes, and anything else you know each person will need during the first few days (while everything else is in boxes). This way everything they'll need is easily attainable.
- Keep these boxes or suitcases in a safe place where they will not be mixed in with everything else, perhaps in the car or even farther away (work or a neighbor's house). Bring them with you in the car or however you are traveling.
- Gather some old clothes you can use for padding. Instead of buying feet and feet of bubble wrap or handfuls and handfuls of packing peanuts, turn to your clothes to provide that padding. Not only does it save you money, but you have to pack the clothes anyway, so it's really two birds with one stone. Clothes are often more malleable than paper and bubble wrap, anyway.
- As for things like glassware, wrap each one in a sock. It's almost like that's what the socks were truly meant for. If they clink against each other, they'll be fine.
- Take photos of complicated set ups, like the back of your TV. Is there anything you have set up that took you forever to get just right and you're totally loathing the moment you have to disassemble it? Then snap a photo of it for quick reference later.
- You may also want to snap a photo for frame arrangements and decorative set-ups, too. Not to mention the nostalgia and memories, of course.
EditPacking Effectively and Efficiently - Make a spacious packing station at your current residence. You'll want a nice, wide open space where you can drag and drop all your stuff and then expedite the packing process. This is where you'll have your boxes, your packing materials, and your pens, tape, and labels. This is your I'm-getting-stuff-done room.
- As you pack each box and seal it up, put a number on it, in addition to the room label and contents. This way, if you have X number of boxes, you'll know when one is missing, in addition to being able to tell the movers just how many boxes you have.
- Start packing – and don't pack air. Wrap each individual item properly with enough layers of wrapping sheets, bubble wrap, or clothes. Place items inside a box with extreme care in the best position possible to avoid damages. Heavier items should be placed on the bottom and lighter items should be placed on the top inside the boxes. Get as many items as possible in each box to cut down on the number of boxes you'll need.
- Pack heavy items such as books, toys, etc. in small boxes. However, be conscious of not over packing boxes until they are bulky and may break.
- Pack fragile or breakable items with extra care and attention. If required, use more layers of wrapping sheets or bubble wraps to wrap such items. Place saran wrap between bottles and caps to prevent leaking. Consider putting cotton between fragile cosmetics, too.
- Use wadded newspapers or crushed papers to fill empty spaces of boxes or cartons.
- Make sure to pack everything that belongs in a particular room together in a room-labeled box. This makes unpacking easier once you get where you are going. Start packing one room at a time, packing smaller items first to get them out of the way. Carefully mark and tape each box so you can find everything when you unpack.
- This makes it easier for the movers, too. If they're courteous and not on a time crunch, they'll likely take each labeled box and put it in its corresponding room.
- Begin taking apart any large items. Place all hardware in double-thick Ziploc bags, according to contents and room. Keep all bags in one box with the proper tools – allen wrenches, screwdrivers, pliers, etc. This will make it easier to put everything back together when you have moved in.
- Make sure you keep the box of hardware and tools in a central place where everyone can find it. This will make re-assembling much easier. Place in it the small things like video ear plugs, remote controls, boxes of nails and things you will need immediately after moving in.
- Clean out each room one by one, starting with the kitchen. Toss away junk and only box things that you use. Use your kitchen food storage containers for all loose things you find as you empty drawers from the kitchen, desks, or table drawers throughout the house. Label boxes according to contents and rooms they belong in then securely close or tape them. Use various sized bags for the same purpose. Add a sticky note inside each bag noting the contents like "stereo cables" and "pens and pencils." Place all containers and bags inside a larger box labeled appropriately with room and content.
- Plates should be stacked vertically, like records. Don't forget to look in the dishwasher!
- Do you need anything to stay intact, like necklaces (so they don't get tangled)? Try saran wrap or stretch wrap over them as is and then pack them.
EditFinishing the Job - Pack an "open first" box last. This most probably will include the items which you have been using until the date of the move. Think about small handy items you might want access to before you unpack all boxes. It may also be useful to add items such as dish soap, a sponge, a roll of paper towels, Kleenex, a couple pens, scissors, plastic/paper plates/forks, a bottle opener, bath towels for each family member, one pot, one pan, one plastic stirring utensil, an extra box cutter, etc.
- Keep in mind that people will need to wash their hands, eat, and shower long before you are done unpacking on the other end of the move. Having this box will make that simple.
- Also, toss in a sugary treat such as Lifesavers or hard candies in case anyone gets hungry or low blood sugar on move-in day. This is a good way to keep the bad moods at bay.
- Stack the boxes as you are finished filling, taping, and labeling them. Try to keep them stacked in the rooms that you have finished packing. Keep all power strips and extension cords and grounded adapters in one specific box; they will be much easier to find later.
- Clearly label the hardware box and the extension cord box. Consider spray-painting both boxes bright yellow or red.
- Place all the screws or bolts back into an item after it has been taken apart. This way, you can connect the bed or put the lampshade back on immediately instead of searching for them.
- If you've kept track of how many boxes you have, count them up. Do you know where each one is? Are any in need of any extra tape job? Do you have more than you thought you might and need to inform the movers that you'll need a bigger truck?
- Which ones are fragile and which ones are sturdy? Are there any that you want to handle yourself, just in case? You may wish to set a few aside so you know where they're at at all times.
- Look in each room, and make sure that everything has been removed. Place any last minute items together in one room. Remember: when the truck has been filled, and the movers tell you that they have everything, checking out each room to make sure that nothing has been left behind is your responsibility. When you are certain that each room is clean, then it is time to shut the door and leave!
EditWhat to Expect from Professional Movers - Professionals expect your house to be organized before they arrive. Pro movers specialize in getting everything safely and efficiently from one house to the other. The do not specialize in separating your good china from the bad, not rounding up all of the dirty laundry on the floor. They will ask you to be cleaned and organized before they arrive. Good ideas include;
- Grouping similar small items in boxes (books, dishes, etc.)
- Clearly designating valuable and fragile goods
- Throwing out and purging excess stuff in advance.
- Labeling boxes with final locations.[1]
- Professionals try to organize the truck by room to make unpacking easier. Good movers are methodical. They keep everything in similar places, packing you up room by room. While they may mix things up to make sure everything fits well, they are practiced in the most convenient way to get things in and out of their truck. Expect them to work much more efficiently than you might on your own.
- Professionals will wrap, pad, and reassemble furniture. One of the chief benefits of a moving team is that they know how to handle the bunk beds stuck in the kids' room. Professionals will take down the furniture into the most convenient, easily transported parts, pad the pieces safely, and put everything back together when you arrive.
- Since most movers are paid hourly, feel free to assemble or break down furniture by yourself if you feel confident in your abilities. You'll save some money.[2]
- Professionals package things so that they can't move in the box or truck. Things break when they are allowed to move around in the truck, bouncing off other objects. A good mover understands that packing tightly isn't just about saving space, it is about a snug, tight fit. They will:
- Use packing peanuts to fill empty space.
- Wrap furniture and large pieces in heavy blankets to prevent sliding or moving.
- Group square and rectangular objects, which can be jammed close together, in the same box.[3]
- Professionals will be responsible for any damages to your good. A professional makes their living off of transporting your things and has the wherewithal and knowledge needed to prevent accidents. That said, in the case that something does happen, professional movers have the responsibility to pay you back for any damages incurred.
- Hiring a professional insures the past possible pack job, and then insures you further if something bad happens.
- Always ask about the contract before signing-- some smaller companies may try to get out of responsibility for damages if you aren't careful. You may need to pay for warranty.
- Professionals account for everything as it enters, and leaves, the truck. A professional mover should keep a log of every box and item, allowing them to prove that they got everything safely to your new location. This sort of double-checking is crucial, especially on big or complicated (multi-truck, cross-country, etc.) moves.
- If the moving company does not inventory your items, you should.
- Professionals take roughly five hours per 1,000 square feet of your house to pack and move. This can vary, but it is a good baseline when thinking about rates and how many movers you need. It takes two movers roughly 5 hours to completely pack a 1,000sq foot house (500ft per mover). Thus:
- With 4 movers, a 3,000ft house would like 13 hours.
- With 3 movers, a 2,000ft house would take 10-12 hours.
- With 6 movers, a 4,000ft+ house would take 15 hours or more.[4]
- Professionals are flexible and capable in every part of the moving process. Maybe you want to save money and just have someone help with the heavy lifting. You can pre-pack the boxes. Maybe you want someone to do everything for you with a bit of guidance. You can pay for the movers to wrap and protect all your goods. Professionals are there to serve you, and will do the work that you need to be done. Expect a professional mover to ask a lot of questions about your exact needs.[5]
- Movers will appreciate your direction and guidance as long as it saves things from breaking or getting lost.
- If you are stuck buying boxes or will be leaving some boxes in storage or outside, consider getting some plastic bins instead. Discount stores often have Rubbermaid or Sterilite bins for not much more than cardboard and they are sturdier, have built-in handles, stack more stably, and are water resistant.
- When packing boxes, remember that towels, washcloths, and socks make excellent packing material for fragile items. The plastic bags you get when you make drugstore purchases are also good packing material; they trap air.
- Reserve a moving truck as soon as you know the exact date you will be moving. A week before the big day, call and verify the reservation on the truck.
- Use Styrofoam plates between your regular dishes so they will not break.
- Pack your cleaning supplies on the truck last, as you will need those at your new home.
- Begin packing well in advance seasonal items like Christmas lights, coats, and garden tools if you are not going to use them until after you move, and get them boxed up early. Toss out or donate any unused items.
- Bags of clothes can be used as a barrier between fragile items, or to fill in the open spaces that appear when loading if you are moving in a U-Haul. Label each bag by contents or rooms.
- Use packing tape, not duct tape to seal boxes.
- Towels, shirts, and non-breakables can be packed in garbage bags. Make sure to use heavy bags with ties, and make sure the bags are not packed so full that they are hard to handle. Label the bags so they are not mistaken as trash!
- Use masking tape to make a large 'X' on any mirrors, curio cabinets, anything with glass. This may not prevent it from breaking from vibration but will help contain broken glass, as much of it will stick to the tape. Consider removing glass panels and packing them flat inside a drawer or mirror box. Take the measurements to a packing store and you can have a box made.
- If you need to take apart furniture, wrap the screws and label the pack with what furniture it belongs to. Tape it to the wrapped furniture. This is usually important when moving overseas.
- Many supermarkets sell vacuum bags that are real space savers. Having trouble fitting the bedding and afraid it will get dirty? Buy a big vacuum bag, fill it to bursting, then suck out all the air using a regular household vacuum cleaner with a hose attachment, and presto! Your bulky bag is small and neat (be careful--it will still weigh the same).
- It may be expensive at first, but you can save the totes and use them for storage around the house, in the attic, in the basement, or in the garage. Throw in a few mothballs and your items will not get dusty, damaged, or smelly!
- Keep the contents of your dresser drawers as they are. If there are breakables inside, pack towels or even socks on top or around them to prevent breakage.
- Use pillowcases to wrap wall portraits/pictures in...they work great!
- It is easier to pack up if the room is clean.
- For clothes, pillows, blankets any type of linens, use space saver ziplock bags. It will seal everything airtight and not only preserve and protect but it also limits the box space those things normally take up.
- For clothes, pillows, blankets, or any other type of linens, use space saver Ziplock bags. The air-tight seal not only preserves and protects but it also reduces the space need for storage.
- When unpacking unpack a few boxes a day and not all at once, it may make it not be as stressful.
- Use suitcases for packing clothes.
- Once you have arrived at your new home let the movers unpack the truck. If anything is broken, they hold the liability. If you help, you have no recourse.
- Set aside work gloves or gardening gloves to protect hands while moving. Do not let these get packed. You will need them for the load and the unload.
- As you get closer to move day, put all the boxes in one room so the furniture and heavy items can be moved into the truck first and you will not be tripping over the boxes that go in last.
- Free isn't always better! Avoid getting boxes from grocery stores or any place that sells food. Chances are these will have insects or eggs. Try liquor stores (most are sturdy to support the glass bottles) or buy them from a moving company. Offices or office supply stores are better still as the boxes reams of paper come in are a lifesaver for storage and small enough for children to carry.
- Make sure you drain water beds about two days before the move. They take a long time to drain, and should be dry on moving day. Keep a garden hose next to the water bed and move them together so you can begin adding water as you unload the truck.
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| How to Make Cookies on a Stick Posted: 20 Nov 2016 08:00 AM PST Cookies on a stick are sometimes used to create decorative cookie bouquets or as favors for parties. However, you can make cookies on a stick any time for a fun treat. You will just need some prepared cookie dough, wooden sticks, frosting, and any other decorative toppings you want to add. EditIngredients - Prepared cookie dough
- Prepared frosting
- Food coloring (optional)
- Toppings, such as sprinkles and candies
EditMaking the Cookies - Mix the cookie dough. Sugar cookie cutout dough works best for cookies on a stick because it is stiff enough to hold and the favor is mild so you can decorate it with just about any kind of frosting or candies that you want. You can make a basic sugar cookie cutout dough from scratch, buy a sugar cookie cutout dough mix, or buy some premade sugar cookie cutout dough in the refrigerated section of the grocery store.[1]
- Prepare the dough according to the recipe or package instructions before you get started.
- It is best to use cold dough because it will hold its shape better when you cut it out. Make sure that you refrigerate your dough for at least an hour before you use it.
- You will probably need to preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. This is a common temperature for many cookie recipes. However, it is important to check the cookie recipe or cookie dough package before you set the temperature on your oven.
- Roll out the dough. Use a rolling pin to roll out the cookie dough on a floured surface. Sprinkle the cookie dough with a bit of flour as well before you begin rolling it out. Add more flour as your roll out the cookie dough to prevent the rolling pin from sticking to the dough.[2]
- Roll the dough so that it is between 3/8" to ½" thick.[3]
- Cut out the cookies. When you finish rolling out the dough, use your cookie cutter to cut out the cookies. You can cut the cookies into circles or use different cookie cutter shapes. To get as many cookies as possible from the dough, cut the cookies close together.[4]
- When you can't cut out any more cookies from the rolled out dough, roll the dough scraps back into a ball and then roll it out flat again. Keep doing this until the dough is gone or you can't cut any more cookies from the remaining dough scraps.
- Place the cookies on a cookie sheet. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper or grease it with non-stick cooking spray. This will help to prevent the cookies from sticking to the tray. Arrange the cookies so that they are about an inch or two apart.[5]
- Insert sticks into cookie dough. After you have arranged the cookies, insert the sticks into the cookies from the side. Push the sticks in far enough so that they reach the centers of the cookies. This will help to ensure that the cookies will stay on the sticks after you bake them.[6]
- You can use some plain flat sticks, or try using colorful cookie pop sticks to make your cookies on a stick look a little more interesting.
- If the cookies are too thin to insert your sticks into, then you can also press the stick halfway into one side of your cookie and then use a bit of extra dough to cover the stick.[7]
- Bake the cookies. Follow your recipe's instructions for baking the cookies. A common baking time for cookies is about 10 minutes, however, your recipe may call for a longer baking time. Check the recipe or cookie dough package to be sure.[8]
- Set a time so that you will know when to take the cookies out of the oven.
- Don't forget to use oven mitts when you place the cookies in the oven and when you remove the tray from the oven.
EditDecorating the Cookies - Wait until the cookies are cool. After the cookies have finished baking, wait for them to cool. You can place them on a cooling rack or leave them on the cookie tray. However, it is important to wait until the cookies are completely cool before you start decorating them or the frosting may melt.
- While you wait for the cookies to cool. You can mix the frosting or prepare the other toppings.
- Frost the cookies. You can use store bought frosting or make a simple buttercream frosting to frost the cookies. Open your frosting package or mix up your frosting. You can also add food coloring to your frosting if you want it to be colorful.[9]
- Try adding a couple of drops of blue food coloring to a batch of buttercream frosting for a light blue frosting, or add a drop or two of red for a pale pink frosting.
- Use a spatula to spread frosting over your cookies. Cover all of the cookies in a ¼" to ½" layer of frosting, depending on how much frosting you want to have on them.
- Frosting is easier to work with when it is at room temperature. Do not put your frosting in the refrigerator. If the frosting is cold, then you can let it sit at room temperature for about an hour to warm up.
- Add candies and sprinkles. After you have frosted your cookies, you can add sprinkles and candies to decorate them. Try using candies and sprinkles to make designs on the cookies and to add color to them.[10]
- For example, you could use candies to make faces on your cookies, or arrange the sprinkles in the shape of a flag or another symbol.
- Serve your cookies! Wrap your cookies if desired. If you plan to give these out as favors at a party or as gifts, then you can wrap each cookie individually with a food-safe cellophane bag or with some plastic wrap. You can also tie a small ribbon around the stick near the base of the cookie for a little extra flair.[11]
EditThings You'll Need - Wooden sticks
- Cookie tray
- Parchment paper or non-stick cooking spray
- Spatula for frosting
- Cellophane or plastic wrap and ribbon (optional)
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| How to Be Comfortable Around Strangers Posted: 20 Nov 2016 12:00 AM PST Feeling uncomfortable being around people? Can't stop being nervous? Weird conversations, shaky hands, and being unable to look someone in the eye are all parts of feeling uncomfortable around strangers. It's totally normal to be nervous around new people, but it doesn't have to be. EditOpening a Conversation - Make a move. Sometimes the hardest part is breaking the ice, then the rest is smooth sailing. For example, attempt to shake someone's hand first, say hello to someone first, or go up to someone and introduce yourself.
- It's normal to fear approaching someone you don't know because you may bother him or her. However, people tend to enjoy talking with strangers, both the person initiating conversations and the person being approached.[1] You may make someone's day!
- Smile. Smiling helps break any tension between you and the person you're talking to. Smiling with a twinkle in your eye allows you to appear open and welcoming.[2] When you feel tense or nervous, smile and tell yourself it'll be okay.
- Don't forget, the person you're speaking with may be nervous like you. Smiling can make both you and the person you're talking to feel more at ease.
- Introduce yourself. While going up to someone on the subway and introducing yourself may be a bit odd, introducing yourself to someone at a party, business or networking event is completely appropriate. When you introduce yourself, give a little information about yourself that is context appropriate. For instance, if you're at a party, introduce yourself and say who you know. If you're at a business or networking event, introduce yourself and say what company/specialty you are associated.
- To strangers or friends of friends at a social function, say, "Hi, I'm Ana. I'm friends with Svetlana. Did she invite you, too?"
- To business colleagues, say, "Hello, I'm Pedro. I work in marketing. What department do you work at?"
- Pay a compliment. Generally, people love to receive compliments. If you want to break the ice and make someone feel good, pay a compliment. Keep compliments sincere and not fake for the sake of trying to impress someone. If you want to start a conversation, you can follow up on your compliment, such as, "I really like your jacket, where did you get it?" or "That's a great painting, did you paint it?"
- While compliments can be nice, they can also reach a creepy level when pursued heavily, overly-repeated, or overly-given. Stick with one compliment.
- Ask a question. Asking a question is a great way to an "in" with conversation. If you're new to a gym, ask where the locker room is, or where you can find a towel, or what exercise class is best. If you're buying a gift for someone, ask a stranger her opinion on an item. Even asking small questions to people you don't know can help you boost your confidence in being around strangers. You can ask questions to get to know someone, too.
- Some standard questions to say when you first meet someone are, "Where are you from?" or "What do you do for a living/what do you study in school?" or "What do you do for fun?"
- For more help in asking questions, check out How to Ask Open Ended Questions.
- Connect on a common bond. There are lots of things that can unite strangers, from working at the same company, sharing a vegetarian diet, having a dog or cat, and living in the same neighborhood. Capitalize on these similarities and strike up a conversation. It feels good to connect with someone you share similarities with, and who knows, maybe you'll make a new friend.
- If you see someone else with a dog while you're outside with your own dog, you can stop and ask about the dog. Often people who love animals love to talk about their pets and relate with other people who have a pet.
- You may notice someone's shirt that's from the same university you attended, or see someone wearing a sweatshirt that supports the same sports team you love. Ask "When did you go to university?", "What did you study? and "What activities did you participated in while at school?" There's plenty to connect you!
EditImproving Your Interactions - Mirror their expressions. You don't have to become a copycat, but notice the visual cues the people provide as to how they feel. Read their body language in order to determine if they feel nervous, scared, stressed, or calm.[3] You'll most likely find that many feel people feel uncomfortable around strangers, much like yourself.
- Once you start paying attention to other people's body language, you can start responding in an appropriate way that matches their feeling state.
- Use your own body language. While it's important to read other people's visual cues, be aware of your own, too. If you stand in a corner looking down with your arms crossed, it's unlikely anyone will approach you in conversation. However, if you smile, keep your head up, and have approachable body language, people may feel more at ease with you and welcome a conversation.
- Keep your hands loosely in your lap (if sitting) or comfortably by your sides while standing.[4] Fidgeting with your hands may make you appear nervous or bored. If you feel uncomfortable with your hands or arms, hold a drink or food if it is offered.
- If you're sitting, don't tightly cross your legs, yet don't keep them overly splayed. You want to find the "happy medium" of appearing approachable yet not sloppy or disinterested.[5] If your legs start to shake, gently cross your legs at the ankles.
- Practice boundaries. Practice monitoring socially acceptable boundaries. Avoid standing overly close to people and making people feel physically uncomfortable. Also, monitor the give and take of conversations. Don't overshare personal details or monopolize the conversation. Take turns talking and listening.[6]
- If you notice yourself doing more talking than listening, start to ask open-ended questions to allow the other person an opportunity to speak.
- Don't share overly personal details about your life. While this may be fine (and funny) around friends, keep the personal things about wart removal, your "crazy" sister, and all of your life's hardships for a more appropriate conversation.
- Admit your feelings. Sometimes admitting that you feel nervous can break the ice. If you're on a blind date and it's not flowing, say, "I'm sorry I've been acting weird, it's just that I feel really nervous right now." Sometimes this can relieve both you and the other person. They may say, "Whew! Good, I'm glad it's not just me who's nervous!"
- Admitting your own feelings can make you and the other person more comfortable, and he or she may see that you are relatable.
- Put your focus on anything but you. When you feel uncomfortable, it's common to put all of your attention onto your feelings of discomfort, your awkwardness, and get wrapped up in your own experience. When you notice yourself absorbed in discomfort, turn your attention outward into your surroundings. Notice the setting, observe the people around you, and listen to other people's conversations. By putting your focus outside of yourself, it'll help you disengage from negative thoughts.[7]
- Try not to reject a conversation. If someone strikes up a conversation with you, try imagining that he or she is one of your friends. Give the interaction a chance by engaging the other person, asking questions, and showing interest. If you feel really uncomfortable, end the conversation in as inoffensive way as possible.
- If you need to end a conversation, say, "Thanks for talking. I'm about to leave, but perhaps we will see each other later." or "I appreciate your time. Goodbye."
EditChanging How You Feel - Build your self confidence. Feeling comfortable around others means feeling comfortable with yourself, too. If you feel insecure in who you are, other people will pick up on that in social interactions.[8] Find activities that boost your self confidence or allow you to develop self confidence, and know that you can transfer those feelings to your social interactions.
- Maybe you're an excellent water skier, ballet dancer, or model car builder. If you feel anxious or uncomfortable, tap into the feelings of confidence that other activities give you to help put yourself at ease.
- Use positive self talk.[9] If you find yourself lost in negative thoughts ("I'll be so awkward" or "I'm not going to enjoy myself") notice that you're engaging a negative thought, then provide a counter-point. You can say, "I may really enjoy myself, and I give myself permission to have a good time" or "I can work on feeling awkward by practicing new skills."
- Don't talk yourself out of going to social events just because you feel uncomfortable. Any time you are on the fence about going, use positive self talk to encourage you to go. Think of it as an adventure to push yourself beyond your comfort zone.
- Remember that you're practicing social ''skills'', not social talents. Give yourself time to adjust to more positive self talk.
- You may find yourself catastrophizing ("This will be so horrible" or "I bet no one will be there and I'll be alone and feel so out of place") but learn to ignore these thoughts and return your focus to more positive thoughts.
- Avoid basing your worth on other people's reactions. Sometimes you get along great with people, and other times you may just not click. If you find yourself not clicking with someone, remember that this is an isolated circumstance, and it doesn't mean you're socially awkward, that you're bad at conversation, or that people don't like you. If you're worried about how people will respond to you or if you'll be judged, remind yourself not to assign heavy value to the opinion's of others.[10]
- Say to yourself, "People's opinions of me don't define my identity. They are entitled to their opinions as I am to my own."
- Use your breath. If you start feeling anxious around new people, tune in to your body, especially your breath. You may notice your breathing quicken or feel more restricted. Calm your mind by calming your breath.[11]
- Take a deep inhale, hold it for a few seconds, then let the breath leave your body slowly. Repeat as necessary.
- Relax. Learn to identify your stressful triggers and use relaxation techniques to calm yourself. This is especially helpful before you approach a social situation. Techniques such as meditation and yoga can help calm you down before you meet new people.[12]
- When you notice your body tensing up before a social event or meeting, take note of the feelings and learn to relax your body. Notice the tension (perhaps in your shoulders or neck) and consciously release it.
- Have specific techniques you use before you go out to meet new people. If you have to attend a work function, spend a little time before the event in meditation, or go to a yoga class beforehand. Plan out your day so that you can approach the situation in the best possible mindset.
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