| How to Help an Alcoholic Stop Drinking Posted: 16 Jul 2016 05:00 PM PDT Watching a friend or family member's life be destroyed by alcoholism is deeply distressing and frustrating. Usually, someone needs to enter a rehabilitation program to get help with an alcohol addiction. If you want to help, you first need to determine if the person is actually an alcoholic. Then, help your friend get the right treatment. EditAsking the Person to Stop Drinking - Look for signs of alcoholism. Someone who has an "alcohol problem" may not have crossed the threshold into full alcoholism. An alcohol problem can be addressed and overcome by someone on his own, but alcoholism is a disease that cannot be cured. This requires outside intervention to control.[1] Alcoholics usually show these signs:[2]
- Problems at work and school, such as showing up late or not showing up at all due to hangovers.
- Frequent blackouts after heavy drinking.
- Legal problems due to drinking, such as arrests for being drunk in public or drunk driving.
- Inability to leave a glass of alcohol half full or to be around alcohol without drinking it.
- Planning schedules around drinking and hangovers that follow.
- Relationships that have been harmed due to the person's alcohol use.
- Craving alcohol first thing in the morning and experiencing withdrawal symptoms when not drinking.
- Practice what you'll say. Once you've decided to talk to the person about his drinking habits, practice exactly what you'll say. Keep it brief, non-judgemental, and detailed. This will keep the other person from zoning off if you talk too long and keep him from feeling as though you're emotionally ganging up on him.
- Try to remember a few key sentences that are important to you. For example, you could say, "I love you and I'm worried that you're hurting your health by binging on the weekends. I'll support you in getting the help you need."[3]
- Talk to the person. If you've noticed some signs of alcoholism, have a talk with the person and tell him that you're worried.[4] Explain that his behavior is affecting other people and that it's time to stop drinking for his own good and the good of the family. Tell him about the problems that his drinking is causing.[5]
- Pick a time to talk when the person hasn't been drinking. Speaking in the morning is usually best. It's alright to talk if the person is feeling hungover. Bring up the fact that the person is harming his body by making it sick day in and day out.
- Don't argue or judge. When you're talking to the person about his drinking habits, don't start by accusing or judging the person. Avoid constantly nagging about the drinking problem, since this could just make it worse. Arguing will make it harder for the person to open up to you about the reasons for drinking.[6]
- Be willing to accept criticism. You may not like what you hear from the other person, especially if he mentions you as being a cause for his drinking. Listen honestly and be reasonable.[7]
- Try to understand the person. When you're talking about his drinking, be sure to ask if there are problems or things that stress him, leading him to drink. You should also find out if the person has a good support system. If not, you may want to suggest getting group help.[8]
- The person may not want to discuss the issue that leads to the drinking or might deny there's even a problem.[9]
- Don't force the person to stop drinking. Alcoholism is a complex disease, so forcing or shaming the person to stop drinking is unlikely to work.[10] In fact, it may actually lead the person to drink more.
- You need to understand that you cannot stop the person from drinking. But you can suggest and assist the person in finding help.[11]
EditBeing Supportive - Don't drink around the person. This will make it much harder for the person to cut back on drinking.[12] It may also lead to unhealthy drinking habits within your own life. You can help the other person by meeting and spending time in places that don't serve alcohol. This will make it easier for the person to stop drinking.
- Talk to others. Ask people closest to the person if they've noticed any concerning behaviors or if they think the person has a problem. Avoid telling them the person is an alcoholic and be careful not to tell anyone who doesn't need to know. Don't risk destroying the person's privacy.
- If you think the person is an alcoholic, the time has come to get others involved. The problem is too big for you to tackle by yourself, and you must get outside help for the alcoholic as soon as possible.[13]
- Talk to the person. Remind him that you're worried, that you care about him, and want him to get help. Share your thoughts on what you've noticed and ask what you can do to help. Be prepared if the person doesn't want your help or avoids you for a while.
- If the person is open to getting help, offer to put him in touch with a professional. Have a list of resources ready to hand to the alcoholic. It should include contact information for local Alcoholics Anonymous groups,[14] the names of therapists and psychologists who specialize in helping alcoholics, and a list of rehabilitation centers.[15]
- Try to involve a professional. If the alcoholic refuses to go into treatment or even consider it, try to involve a therapist.[16] A therapist will have experience dealing with different types of alcoholics, and will work with you to create a plan for the alcoholic.
- A professional therapist will know how to handle defensiveness and other behaviors that may upset or confuse close family members.
- Be encouraging throughout the treatment period. If the alcoholic does agree to go to treatment and take steps toward sobriety, make it clear that you're supportive and that this is the best thing the person could be doing. Curb the person's feelings of guilt or embarrassment by showing that you're proud of him for getting help.
- Be prepared to support a relapse.[17] If the person attended a rehab center and has completed a course of treatment, he may be vulnerable when he leaves. For most people, treatment is never over and alcoholism is something the person must constantly deal with. The alcoholic's family and friends should continue to support the person, even if he relapses. Relapse happens with almost every alcoholic.
- Come up with soothing, non-alcoholic activities to do together. Make things. Ride bikes. Play cards. Pretend it's raining and hole up together. Bake cookies. Get out and experience the richness of life together. Go to museums. Go to the park and have a picnic.
- Encourage the person to attend AA meetings frequently and to get counseling when needed. Let him know that you're there to talk if he needs you.
- Take care of yourself.[18] Being a close friend or family member of an alcoholic is exhausting and can lead to feelings of helplessness and despair. Alcoholism is often called a "family disease," since its effects go so far beyond the life of the person with the alcohol problem. Take time to do activities that make you feel good and bolster your confidence and self esteem during this time.
- Consider getting therapy. It might be helpful to have someone to talk to about your feelings during this emotionally difficult time.
- Spend time with other friends and family members. You need to take breaks from dealing with the person's drinking problems. While you're focused on the well-being of your alcoholic family member, spending time with other people in your life can help take your mind off of things and restore your energy.
- Make sure you're dealing with your own personal issues during this time. Avoid focusing so much on the person with the drinking problem, that you hurt other relationships in your life or develop dependency issues of your own.[19]
- If your friend is unwilling to admit to his problem, there is absolutely nothing you can do. Don't take it personally or feel responsible for his drinking.
- If this person is in any way part of your life, it's inevitable you've been affected by his drinking. Try going to an Al-Anon meeting or at least look up some Al-Anon literature. They have plenty of coping tips.
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| How to Create a Household Budget Posted: 16 Jul 2016 09:00 AM PDT Adhering to a household budget is an excellent habit to develop. It will help you to spend less, save more, and avoid problems making payments or paying excessive interest payments on credit cards. In order to create a household budget you will just need to document your current spending and earnings and the financial discipline to adjust your spending so that you will be on better financial footing. EditSetting Up Your Spreadsheet or Ledger - Decide how you will document your household spending, earnings, and budget. You can use a simple pen and paper but it is much easier to use a spreadsheet program or a simple accounting program if you have access to one.[1]
- You can find sample budget worksheets from Kiplinger here.
- Calculations in a simple accounting program, such as Quicken, are virtually automated, as they are made for this type of project. This type of program also has additional features that may come in handy for formulating budget, such as savings tools. However, they are not free, so you will need to invest a little bit of money in order to use one of them.[2]
- Many spreadsheet programs come with a built-in template for calculating a household budget. They will need to be customized for your specific needs but will be easier than starting from scratch.
- You can also use electronic budgeting software, such as Mint.com, which will help you keep track of your spending.[3]
- Format the columns of your spreadsheet. Work from left to right. Use titles for columns such as "Date of Expense", "Amount of Expense", "Payment Method", and "Fixed/Discretionary".
- You need to record in a disciplined way (every day or every week) all of your expenses, as well as your income. Many software programs and apps have mobile apps where you can add your expenses on the go.
- The Payment Method column will help you to keep track of where records of your expenses can be found. For example, if you pay your electric bills with a credit card every month to earn miles, note that as the payment method in the column.
- Categorize your expenses. Each entry should go into a category so you can easily see how much you spend on monthly and yearly bills, regular essentials, and discretionary costs. This will help you when you go to input your expenses and when you want to look through them for a specific expenditure. Common categories include:[4]
- Rent/Mortgage (make sure to include any insurance)
- Utilities, such as electricity, gas, and water
- Household Operations, such as lawn or maid service
- Transportation (car, gas, public transport costs, insurance)
- Groceries and other food (eating out)
- Using a software program to do this has the added benefit of being able to easily categorize the type is spending (groceries, gas, utilities, car, insurance etc) as well as calculating totals in different ways that are useful to understand what, when, where, how much and how (credit card, cash, etc) you spend. Software will also allow you to divide your spending into different time periods and priorities.
- If you are using a paper ledger, you may want to create a separate page for each of these categories, depending on how many expenses you have in each category every month. If you are using software you will be able to add rows easily to fit all of your expenses in.
EditDocumenting Your Spending - Put your biggest regular expenses into the spreadsheet or ledger. Some examples would be car payments, rent or mortgage, utilities (such as water, electricity, etc), and insurance (medical, dental, etc). Installation payments, such as student loans and credit cards, also go in here. Make a separate row for each expense. Put in estimates as placeholders until the actual bills come.[5]
- Some bills, such as your rent or mortgage, usually stay the same every month, while others are more variable (like utilities). Put in an estimate of your recurring bills (perhaps what you paid the previous year for that specific expense) but once the bill comes and you pay it, put the actual amount into your ledger.
- Try to either round up or down to the nearest $10 for an average estimate on how much you spend for each item.
- Some utility companies will allow you to pay average amounts all year, instead of having your bill fluctuate each month. You may want to investigate this option if regularity is important to you.
- Calculate your regular essentials. Brainstorm what you regularly spend money on and how much. How much per week do you spend on gas? What is the usual amount that you spend on groceries? Think of other essential things that you need, not want. After you have made rows for each of these expenses, put in an estimate of what you spend on it. Once you have the actual amounts you spend, input them immediately.
- You should spend as normal, but take a receipt or note down every time you get your wallet or purse out. At the end of the day, tally this up, either on paper, your computer, or your phone. Make sure you note exactly what you spent it on and don't use a generic term such as food or transport.
- Software such as mint.com help by categorizing your spending into things like Groceries, Utilities, and Miscellaneous Shopping. This can help you see what you usually spend per month on each category.
- Input your discretionary expenses as well. These include big-ticket items that you can cut out or do not provide you with the level of enjoyment worthy of the price. These could range from anything such as expensive nights out to take-away lunches and coffee.
- Remember that each separate expense should have a separate row. This may make your spreadsheet or ledger pretty long by month's end, but if you have it separated into types of expenses you should be able to keep it manageable.
- Insert an expense row for savings. While not everyone can afford to save money on a regular basis, everyone should have it as a goal and do it if they possibly can.
- A great target is 10% of your paycheck. This is enough to make your savings grow fairly quickly while not so much that it will crimp other areas of your life. We all are too familiar with arriving at the end of the month and having nothing left over. That's why you have to save first. Don't wait for there to be money left at the end of the month.
- Adjust the savings amount as necessary, or, better yet, adjust your spending if possible! Money you save can later be used to invest or you can save with some other purpose in mind, like buying a home, college tuition, vacations, or anything else.
- Some banks have free savings programs you can enroll in, such as Bank of America's "Keep the Change" program. This program rounds up each transaction you make with your debit card and transfers the difference into your savings account. It will also match a certain percentage of this savings. This type of program can be an easy, painless way to save a little bit each month.[6]
- Add up all your expenditures each month. Add up each section of rows individually and then add them all together. This way you can see what percentage of your income you spend in each category of expenditure in addition to your total expenses.
- Record all of your earnings and then add them together. Include all earnings, whether it's tips, "under the table" jobs (money you take home, without taxes being taken out), money you find on the ground, and your salary (or monthly balance if you're paid every other week).
- This is the amount on your paycheck, not your total earnings for the time period.
- Record all income from all sources with the same level of detail as you do for your expenses. Sum these weekly or monthly, as appropriate.
- Put the totals of your monthly income and your total expenses side-by-side. If the amount of your total expenses is greater than your income, then you need to think about cutting back on your spending or think of ways to cut down your bills.
- Having the detailed information on hand about how much you spent on what specific items, as well as the priority that each represents for you, will help you to target areas where you can cut back or eliminate spending.
- If your monthly income is higher than your total expenses, you should be able to put some away in savings. This money can be used towards a second mortgage, college tuition, or anything else big. Or, you can stash some away for something small like a trip to the spa.
EditCreating a New Budget - Target specific areas of your spending to decrease. Set limits on discretionary spending in particular. Pick a set amount that you cannot go over each month and stick to it.
 - It's fine to budget for discretionary spending -- you can't live a life without any fun. However, setting a budget and sticking to it will help keep that spending in check.[7] For example, if you routinely go to the movies, set a budget of $40 a month for movie tickets. Once you've spent that $40, you can't go to any more movies until the next month.
- Even your essentials section should be looked at closely. Regular expenditures should usually only take up so much of your income. For example, food purchases should only take up 5 to 15 percent of your budget.[8] If you are spending more than that, you should consider cutting back on that spending.
- Obviously, the percentage you spend will vary; for example, for groceries it will vary depending on things like the price of groceries, your family size, and any special nutritional needs. The point is simply to make sure you aren't spending money you don't need to. For example, do you spend a lot of money on prepared foods that are more expensive, when you could cook more at home?
- Estimate and incorporate contingency expenses into your budget.[9] By incorporating expenses for possible contingencies into your budget, unexpected medical, car, or house maintenance costs will have less impact on your overall budget and financial health.
- Estimate what you might have to spend on these in a year and divide by 12 for your monthly budget.
- Your buffer will mean that if you go slightly over your weekly spending limit, it will not affect your hip pocket and will not end up going on the dreaded credit card.
- If you get to the end of the year and have not needed to use your buffer for these types of expenses, then great! You will have extra money that you can funnel into your savings or retirement investment plans.
- Calculate how much your short term, medium term, and long term goals are going to cost. These are not contingency costs but instead are part of your plan. Do you need to replace any household items this year? Do you need a new pair of boots this year? Do you want to buy a car? Plan for this in advance and you won't need to draw on your long term savings.
- Another important point to note is that you should aim to only buy these items after you have saved for them. Ask yourself, do you really need it right now?
- Once you actually send the money that was budgeted as a contingency or planned expenditure, record the actual expense and delete the provisional expense you had created, otherwise they will end up being doubled.
- Draw up a new budget. Combine your buffers and goals with your actual expenditures and income. This exercise will not only assist you in making an effective budget and helping you to save, making your life a little less hectic and more relaxed, it will also motivate you to trim your expenses so you can achieve your goals and make the purchases you aspire to without having to go into debt to do it.
- Try to stick to just spending on the fixed expenses. Cut out the discretionary items wherever possible.
EditSample Documents - Don't keep all your money in the one pot or bank account. Use a checking account for your spending, a savings account for your short-term savings, an investment account for your mid-term savings, and a retirement account (401k or IRA) for tax-deferred, long-term savings. Following this rule will help you to have the right money in the right place when you need it, both in the present and the future.
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| How to Write a Business Letter Posted: 16 Jul 2016 01:00 AM PDT Need to write a polished, professional letter? Most business letters follow an established, easy-to-learn format that you can adapt to any type of content. A business letter should always contain the date, information about the sender and recipient, and a few body paragraphs. Follow these steps and modify as necessary to fit your company's standards. EditSample Business Letter EditBeginning the Letter - Know the format. Whatever the content of your letter, there are a few business standards to follow regarding the way it looks. Business letters should be typed and composed in a common font such as Arial or Times New Roman. Employ block paragraphing. This means that you start a new paragraph by hitting "return" twice. Don't use indenting for block paragraphs.[1]
- Use one-inch margins on all sides.
- An emailed business letter should also be composed in a common font. Don't use script or colors other than black and white in a business email.
- Choose the right kind of paper. The letter should be printed on 8.5" by 11" (known as "letter size"). If you are outside the U.S., you might use size A4 paper. Some lengthy contracts may be printed on 8.5" x 14" ("legal size").
- If you're printing the letter to send, consider printing the letter on company letterhead. This lends it a more professional air and provides your company's logo and contact information.
- Include information about your company. List your company name and the company address, with each part of the address written on a different line. If you're self-employed or an independent contractor, add your name either in place of the company name or above it.
- If your company has pre-designed letterhead, you can use this instead of typing out your company and address.
- If you're typing out the address, it should appear either right or left justified at the top of the page, depending on you and your company's preference.
- If you're sending the letter to an international location, type out the country in capital letters.[2]
- Include the date. Writing out the full date is the most professional choice. For example, write either "April 1, 2012" or "1 April 2012." This should appear left justified a few lines below the sender's address.
- If you wrote your letter over several days, use the date that you finished the letter.[3]
- Add the recipient's information. Write out the recipient's full name, title (if applicable), company name, and address in that order, with each piece of information on a separate line. If necessary, include a reference number. The recipient's information should be left justified a few lines below the date.
- It is best to address the letter to a specific person. This way, an actual person will be able to respond to your letter. If you don't know the name of the person to whom you should send the letter, do a bit of research. Call the company to find out the person's name and title.[4]
- Choose a salutation. The salutation is an important indicator of respect, and which one you use will depend on whether you know the person to whom you're writing, how well you know them and the level of formality in your relationship.[5] Consider the following options:
- Employ "To Whom It May Concern" only if you don't know whom, specifically, you're addressing.
- If you do not know the recipient well, "Dear Sir/Madam" is a safe choice.
- You may also use the recipient's title and last name, e.g. "Dear Dr. Smith."
- If you know the recipient well and enjoy an informal relationship with him or her, you may consider a first-name address, e.g. "Dear Susan."
- If you are unsure of the recipient's gender, simply type the whole name, e.g. "Dear Kris Smith."
- Don't forget a comma after a salutation or a colon after "To Whom It May Concern."
EditComposing the Body - Strike the right tone. Time is money, as the saying goes, and most business people hate to waste time. The tone of your letter, therefore, should be brief and professional. Make your letter a quick read by diving straight into the matter and keeping your comments brief in the first paragraph. For instance, you can always start with "I am writing you regarding..." and go from there.
- Don't concern yourself with flowery transitions, big words, or lengthy, meandering sentences - your intent should be to communicate what needs to be said as quickly and cleanly as possible.
- Be persuasive in your letter. Most likely the purpose of your letter is to persuade your reader to do something: change their mind, correct a problem, send money or take action. Make your case.
- Use personal pronouns. It is perfectly fine to use "I," "we," and "you" in your business letter. Refer to yourself as "I" and your reader as "you."
- Be aware if you're writing the letter on an organization's behalf. If you are stating the company's perspective, you should use "we" so that the reader knows that the company stands behind your statement. If you are writing your own opinion, stick with "I."[6]
- Write clearly and concisely. Let your reader know exactly what you are trying to say. Your reader will only respond quickly if your meaning is crystal clear. In particular, if there is some result or action you want taken because of your letter, state what it is. Explain your position in as few words as possible.
- Use the active voice. When describing a situation or making a request, make sure to choose the active voice, rather than the passive voice. The passive voice can make your writing ambiguous or impersonal. In addition, the active voice is more streamlined and straight to the point.[7] For example:
- Passive: The sunglasses are not designed or manufactured with attention to their durability.
- Active: Your company designs and manufactures sunglasses without attention to their durability.
- Be conversational when appropriate. Letters are written by people to people. Avoid form letters if possible. You cannot build a relationship with canned impersonal letters. However, stay away from colloquial language or slang such as "you know," "I mean," or "wanna." Keep the tone businesslike, but be friendly and helpful.
- If you know the recipient well, it's fine to include a friendly line sending good wishes.
- Use your judgement when determining how much personality to reveal. Sometimes adding a little humor is actually helpful in a business setting, but err on the side of caution before making a joke.
- Be courteous. Even if you are writing with a complaint or concern, you can be courteous. Consider the recipient's position and offer to do whatever you can, within reason, to be accommodating and helpful.
- For example, a discourteous complaint might read: "I think your sunglasses suck and I am never buying them again." A courteous complaint might read: "I am disappointed with the construction of your sunglasses, and I plan to take my business elsewhere in the future."
- Use "second page" letterhead for additional pages. Most business letters should be concise enough to be one page in length only. But if you have something lengthier, such as a contract or legal findings, you may need additional pages. Use "second page" letterhead, which usually has an abbreviated address and is made of the same type of paper as the first page letterhead.[8]
- Include the page number on the second and subsequent pages, at the top of the page. You may also want to include the recipient's name and the date.[9]
- Wrap it up. In the last paragraph, summarize your points and clearly outline either your planned course of action or what you expect from the recipient. Note that the recipient may contact you with questions or concerns, and say thank you for his or her attention to the letter/matter at hand.
EditClosing the Letter - Choose a closing. The closing, like the salutation, is an indicator of respect and formality. "Yours sincerely" or "Sincerely" is generally a safe bet; also consider "Cordially," "Respectfully," "Regards" and "Yours Truly." Slightly less formal but still professional closings include "All the best," "Best wishes," "Warm regards," and "Thank you." Use a comma after your closing.
- Sign the letter. Leave about four lines empty for your signature. Sign the letter after you've printed it, or, if you're sending it via email, scan an image of your signature and affix it to this part of the letter. Blue or black ink is preferred.
- If you are signing the letter on someone's behalf, write "pp:" before your signature. This stands for "per procurationem," which means "by agency" or "on behalf of."[10]
- Include your typed name and contact information. Beneath your signature, type your name, title, phone number, email address and any other applicable means of contact. Give each piece of information its own line.
- Add the typist's initials. If someone other than the writer typed up the letter, you should add this person's initials below the signature block. Sometimes, the letter writer's initials are also included. Then it is clear who worked on this letter.[11]
- For example, if you include just the typist's initials, write them in lowercase: mj
- If you include the writer's initials, put these in uppercase with the typist's initials in lowercase: RW:mj. Some styles add a slash between the two sets of initials: RW/mj.
- Make note of enclosures. If you've enclosed additional documents for the recipient to review, note this a few lines beneath your contact info by noting the number and type of documents. For example, write: "Enclosures (2): resume, brochure."[12]
- You can also abbreviate "Enclosures" by writing "Encl." or "Enc."
- Add additional recipients' names. If you are sending a copy of the letter to another person, you should include this on the letter. This is noted by typing "cc:" below the "Enclosures" line, which stands for "courtesy copy", along with the person's name and title ("cc" used to indicate "carbon copy" when letters were typed on carbon copy paper).[13]
- For example, write: "cc: Mary Smith, Vice President of Marketing"
- If you are adding more than one name, align the second name underneath the first name, but without the "cc:"
EditFinalizing the Letter - Edit the letter. Presentation is a key element of being professional. Make sure that the recipient will easily be able to see you as capable and in charge by editing your letter for errors. Run spell check on your word processor, but also give the letter a thorough read before you send it.
- Ask yourself whether the letter is clear and concise. Are any paragraphs more than three or four sentences long? If so, determine whether you can eliminate unnecessary statements.
- If the letter is extremely important, you might want to have a friend or colleague look it over. Sometimes a second pair of eyes can help you catch errors or awkward wording you may not have noticed.
- Don't staple your letter. If you have multiple pages, staples are generally avoided. If you want to ensure that the papers stay in order, then use a paperclip at the top left corner.
- Post the letter. If you're sending the letter via post, use a business envelope. If available, use one with the company logo printed on it. Neatly print your return address and the recipient's address. Fold the letter into third parts, such that the recipient will first unfold the top flap, then the bottom flap. Make sure you affix sufficient postage, and send it off.
- If you feel like your handwriting is messy and doesn't match your professional persona, type the addresses in your word processor and run the envelope through your printer.
- If the letter is extremely important and/or time-sensitive, consider having it delivered by courier.
- If you want to email the letter, convert the letter in HTML or save it as a PDF to preserve formatting. It is better, however, to send the physical letter.
- Use a quality pen to sign the letter.
- Be prompt. If you cannot respond fully in less than a week, tell the recipient so and note when he or she can expect a response from you.
- Emphasize the positive. Talk about what you can do, not what you can't. For example, if a product is out of stock, don't tell the customer you are unable to fill the order; instead, tell them the product is very popular and you have sold out. Then tell them when you can get the order to them.
- If you're writing a complex letter, consider writing an outline first.
- List out the topics you want to cover. Do not worry about the order.
- For each topic, list keywords, examples, arguments and facts.
- Review each topic in your outline for relevance to your aim and audience.
- Cut out anything that's not relevant.
- Sort the information into the best order for your reader.
- Don't employ too much flattery. A genuine compliment is acceptable, but going overboard will indicate that you have to rely on flattery, not competence, to do your job.
- Don't be too blunt and forceful in your tone. Remember, you're trying to improve or start a professional relationship with a business letter.
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