| How to Have Courage Posted: 06 Apr 2016 05:00 PM PDT Courage is considered by many to be one of the most important human virtues. In fact, in Medieval times it was considered one of the four cardinal virtues, and modern psychologists agree.[1][2] Learning how to be courageous, even if it is just to ask out that person you've had your eye on for so long, doesn't mean not being afraid. It means learning to do things despite your fear. EditBuilding a Courageous Mindset - Embrace your fear. Being courageous means doing something despite the fear. Fear comes from the body's natural response to the brain's fight or flight response. The brain sends cortisol, a stress inducing hormone, throughout the body's nervous system, making the body go into hyper-drive. Fearfulness is a learned behavior, based in our brain chemistry, but strengthened by the world around us that has trained us to be fearful. Learning to work through fear and step beyond it is about retraining your mind. [3]
- Avoiding fears actually makes them stronger and scarier. There's a certain mindset in Western culture that views emotions as weakness and seeks to suppress them. But suppressing negative emotions only heightens the fear of the negative emotion itself, strengthening them the more they are avoided.[4]
- Exposing yourself to things that you fear (while being sure to stay safe and be smart about it) can help the brain become desensitized to the fear and make it easier for you to face.[5]
- Try not to hesitate. The longer your brain has to come up with excuses for not being courageous, the more time you will have to panic about hypothetical negative outcomes. If you are in a situation where you have to pick up a spider, jump out of an airplane, or ask someone on a date, do it without hesitation if you're going to do it at all.[6]
- Reinforce your successes by giving yourself a reward when you do deal with your fear. This could be a physical treat, like a nice bottle of wine, or a mental treat, like taking a break from human interaction and binge-watching a show on Netflix.
- Learn to be mindful. Being mindful is when you are fully present in the current moment. Mindfulness can help change your brain to deal with fear in a more effective manner. You have to give yourself time to learn this skill and it takes practice.[7]
 - Meditation is one way to help improve your mindfulness. Find a quiet place and sit comfortably. You can meditate on the bus, at an airport, or any busy place, but it is best to start by learning in a quiet place with few distractions. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing (thinking "in" when you breathe in and "out" when you breathe out can help with that focus.). Do this for twenty minutes. Be aware of the moment and of your sensations. If you do find yourself becoming distracted with other thoughts, direct your attention back to your breathing.
- When you do find yourself overwhelmed by fear, using the practices learned from meditation and mindfulness can help you overcome. Focus on your breathing and take deep breaths. Allow yourself to feel the negative emotions, but label them as emotions you are having (for example: if you are thinking, "I am afraid," rephrase it as, "I am having a thought that I am afraid."). It's a subtle distinction, but one that helps you not to be ruled by your thoughts.
- Visualizing your mind as the sky and your emotions, both positive and negative, as clouds passing across the surface of the sky can help you see them as being a part of you, but not dictating your life.
- Get outside your comfort zone. Stepping outside your comfort zone may cause anxiety, but it's a great way to learn courage.[8] Doing something you don't normally do helps you cope with the unexpected, which is where fear often springs from. Learning to deal with that fear, in a situation you have chosen, can help you perform courageously when the unexpected happens.
- Start small. Start with the actions that induce less fear and require less courage to accomplish. So, send a friend request on Facebook to that girl you like, or have a small conversation with the person behind the register before moving on to asking someone out.[9]
- Know your limits. There are certain things that we just cannot do. Maybe you absolutely can't pick up that spider, come out to your homophobic boss, or go skydiving. That's okay. Sometimes these are fears or limitations that can be worked up to and sometimes they aren't. Sometimes it is highly adaptive not to be courageous; it may not make sense to do something you can't get yourself to do. Focus on building your courage for other things, like putting a glass over the spider so someone else can take care of it, or coming out to your parents instead of your homophobic boss.
- Build confidence. Having confidence allows you to trust in your abilities and yourself, and realize that you are more than your fears. When you have confidence in yourself you will find it easier to take courageous action. Learning to have confidence takes practice.[10] There are a number of ways to build confidence:
- Fake it until you make it. You can trick your mind into confidence by pretending that you are confident. Tell yourself you can ask that girl you like on a date and, whatever she says, you won't care much. You can also expand your posture and actually feel more confident and powerful.[11] Open up your arms or place them behind your head, and push out your chest.
- Don't let your failures or limitations dictate who you are. Failure simply means that you are trying; it is something to learn from, not to avoid. Make sure to remind yourself that your failures do not define you unless you let them.
- Have faith in yourself. Courage involves trusting yourself and believing in yourself. Tell yourself that you have something to offer. Remember arrogance and confidence are different.[12]
EditHaving Courage in the Moment - Build your courage for specific scenarios. It takes different kinds of courage to ask out someone you are interested in, to speak to your boss about a raise, or to confront a bully. One thing all of these scenarios will require is a show of confidence, whatever you actually feel. Confidence and courage come through acting as if you are unafraid, even (and especially) when you are.[13]
- Have courage when you ask someone out. When you ask someone out, the best way is to be direct, even if it is scary to put yourself out there. Practice what you're going to say ahead of time. If you can, talk to her in private. Think about how great it might be if she says yes; isn't that worth the risk?[14]
- Remember, if she says no, it isn't a reflection on you or your desirability. Be respectful of her decision and be proud of yourself for being courageous!
- Display courage when you speak up to your boss. It can be scary to talk to your supervisor, especially if it's about problems you're having at work; it's also awkward to have conversations about money. However, if you frame it more as a conversation than a confrontation, you may be more likely to get your way.[15]
- Ask to speak to her privately and plan out what you're going to say ahead of time. It's okay to feel nervous, don't fight it. Make sure to breathe normally and speak with conviction.
- If the conversation backfires, step back and re-assess. If you think about it and feel that you were in the right, consider getting your human resources department involved.
- Alternatively, sometimes the better thing to do is change jobs; some people are very stubborn and choosing not to fight every battle doesn't mean that you lack courage.
- Show courage when you confront a bully. When you're confronting a bully, remember to act as if you're feeling brave and confident. You'll trick yourself (and her) into thinking you aren't afraid.[16] Bullies thrive on your emotional response, so don't give them the pleasure of a reaction. Act confident in yourself (even if you don't feel particularly confident).
- If the bullying gets work in the aftermath of your confrontation, get help from a teacher or parent. Knowing when to get outside help is courageous in itself. It shows that you are being honest with yourself about the reality of the situation.
EditConquering Your Fears - Identify your fears. What is it that you are afraid of? Before you can overcome your fear and act courageously you need to know what makes you scared. There are a number of things that tend to make people afraid, including these:[17]
- Heights
- Snakes and/or spiders
- Crowds
- Public speaking
- Water
- Storms
- Closed spaces
- Acknowledge your fear. Once you have identified your fears, do not try to brush them under the rug; do not avoid them. Do not try to convince yourself that you simply aren't afraid; it will take more work than that to conquer your fear. Instead, accept that you do have fears so you can work productively to overcome them.[18]
- You can acknowledge your fear by writing it down or saying it out loud.
- You can assess the degree to which you are afraid by writing down on a scale from 0 (not at all afraid) to 100 (very afraid), just how scared you are of the thing in question.
- Try gradual desensitization. In this technique, you slowly but increasingly allow yourself to approach or come into contact with whatever you are afraid of.[19]
- For example, if you are afraid of leaving the house, you might start by putting on your shoes as if you were going to go outside, but not actually go outside.
- Next, you might open the door and take two steps outside, and then four steps, and then eight steps, and then walk down the block and back home.
- Try direct confrontation. This is also called "flooding." Force yourself into the scenario you are afraid of and allow yourself to be fully afraid. Feel the fear pulsing through you; observe it but try your best not to be overcome by it. It can help if you imagine yourself in the 3rd person by saying things like, "he seems really scared right now." [20]
- In this method, if you were afraid of going outside, you would go out down the block on your first try. You would then try to think about how it actually isn't that bad to be away from home.
- You would then repeat this process until you were completely unafraid of going outside.
- The idea is to show you that there is no need to fear what you do; as such, this method is best used for irrational fears.
- Try visualization. When you find yourself afraid of something, try getting your mind off of it by focusing on more positive thoughts. Do your best to visualize something that makes you happy, such as your dog or a loved one. Use this positive emotion to overpower the fear. [21]
- Visualize the thing that makes you positive. Try to imagine it with multiple senses to make it more real.
- For example, if you are thinking about your dog, think about how your dog smells, how she feels when you pet her, how she looks, and how she sounds.
- Talk to someone. Talking out your fears with someone, a licensed therapist, a trusted family member or friend can help you to figure out where your fear is originating; it can also help you overcome your fear and act courageously.[22][23]
- There are also websites that you can use, if you need to talk anonymously.[24]
- It may be time to talk to someone if you find that your fear is interfering with your life in a way that you want to change.
- Being courageous takes practice. The more you face your fears and deal with your negative emotions the easier it will get.
- Use your courage to stand up for others who can't. This will help you confront your fear and it will help your community.
- Imagine that you can do it until you no longer have to imagine.
- When confronting a bully, be sure to use caution. There isn't a one-size-fits-all solution to dealing with a bully and sometimes it is better to not engage.
- While these tips can used to help people with anxiety issues, they should NOT be used in place of a doctor or therapist's advice or medication.
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| How to Make a Wire Swirly Double Heart Ring Posted: 06 Apr 2016 09:00 AM PDT With just some craft wire and pliers, you can make a beautiful double heart ring with a swirling pattern to wear yourself or give as a gift. - Gather all supplies.
- Hold the wire from one end. Do not cut it from the bundle. Keep 6 cm of the wire straight on that end.
- Create a small loop on the wire from where the 6 cm ends.
- Circle the wire 2-3 times around that loop to create a swirly pattern.
- Make another loop adjacent to the created swirl, by winding the wire in the opposite direction of the previous one (see picture).
- Again circle the wire around the loop 2-3 times to create another swirl.
- Hold the straight parts together of the wire from both sides. Adjust them to make a heart shape.
- Coil the extra wire (6 cm) around the other straight part. Cut off extra if needed.
- Measure the straight part of the wire, including the wrapped end. Mark the ring size on the wire. Remember that the ring size should include the straight part and any one heart.
- For the second heart make the outer loop first. Make this loop from the marked part of the wire from.
- Carefully circle the wire inside that loop to create a swirly pattern.
- Flip the swirled wire horizontally. Make a small loop adjacent to the first swirly pattern of the second heart.
- Circle the wire around that loop 2-3 times to create a swirly pattern.
- Hold the straight parts of the wire together from both sides, adjust them to make a heart shape. Coil the wire around the wire below the swirly heart. Cut off wire from the bundle.
- Wrap the straight part of the ring around, then the hearts, around the mandrel. Adjust and press the hearts to give them a smooth round shape.
- When you're finished it should look like this.
- Wear it and enjoy!
EditThings You'll Need - Craft wire - 18 gauge
- Craft pliers
- Mandrel
- Ruler
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| How to Heal a Cut in Your Nose Posted: 06 Apr 2016 01:00 AM PDT The nose is a sensitive part of the body, so even the smallest cut or sore inside the nose can be complicated to treat, and sometimes painful. Proper care of an injury inside the nose can promote healing and prevent unwanted infections. See a doctor if the bleeding won't stop, if the wound won't close up, or if you develop an infection. EditCleaning the Injury - Wash your hands. Be sure your hands are clean in order to avoid introducing any bacteria into an open cut.[1] Wash with clean, running water and scrub your hands with soap for a least 20 seconds (sing "Happy Birthday" twice).[2] Then rinse well and dry your hands on a clean towel.
- Stop the bleeding. If the cut or sore is bleeding and is very near the edge of the nose, then gently apply pressure, using clean materials, until the bleeding stops. Do not block the breathing, and do not pack the nostril.[3]
- If the injury is not clearly visible or is not right on the edge of the nose, then use accepted first aid methods to stop the bleeding.[4]
- Sit up straight and lean forward. Maintaining this position helps to reduce the pressure in the vessels located in your nose, and prevents you from swallowing the blood.
- Pinch the nose shut, using your thumb and index finger, and hold the nose shut for about 10 minutes. The person should breathe through their mouth during this time. After the 10 minutes, release the hold.
- If the nose is still bleeding then repeat the procedure. If it still bleeds after 20 minutes, seek medical advice as the injury may be more serious than first anticipated.
- Keeping the person cool during this process can be done by cool cloths or by sucking on something cold, like ice chips.[5]
- Remove any debris carefully. To reduce infection and possible complications, you can use sterilized tweezers to remove any debris that remains in the cut.[6]
- Use clean tools. If you think something is lodged in the area, or if you just need to clean out any skin fragments, tissue, or blood clots, sterilize the items you plan to use. If you are not able to sterilize the tools, make sure they are as clean as possible.[7]
- Sterilize the tools you need.[8]
- Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water.
- Wash the utensils, like tweezers, thoroughly with soap and water, then rinse completely.
- Place the items in a pot or pan, with enough water inside to cover every item.
- Cover the pan with a lid, and bring the water to a boil. Continue to boil the water for 15 minutes with the lid in place.
- Remove the pan from the heat, keeping the lid in place, and let it cool to room temperature.
- Drain the water from the pan without touching the sterilized items. If you are not ready to use the items, then leave them in the drained pot or pan with the lid on.
- Carefully remove the items when you are ready to use them. Avoid touching the parts of the tools that will come in contact with the injury. Touch only the handles or grips.
- Consider seeking medical help if the area is hard to reach. If you cannot easily see the cut, or reach it, then you may have trouble properly treating the area. You could do additional damage or introduce bacteria if the cut is up inside the nose.[9]
- Choose your cleaning agent. Usually, soap and water is the best way to clean a wound, cut, or minor injury to the skin. In some more delicate and sensitive areas, products that are both cleansers and antibacterial agents are sometimes recommended.[10]
- One common product that is both a soap cleanser and anti-infective is called chlorhexidine, and is available without a prescription in most retail pharmacies.[11] Chlorhexidine should be highly diluted before using on mucous membranes (the inside of the nose).
- Read the product labels. Do not use any product that is not approved for use inside the nose.
- Clean the tissue around the cut. In order to reach the cut to clean it, you may need to carefully use a cotton swab or a piece of rolled up gauze.[12]
- Use clean or sterilized tweezers to hold the gauze in order to effectively clean the area.[13]
- Use fresh water and mild soap, or a small amount of chlorhexidine on the end of the cotton swab or gauze.[14]
- Repeat your method with clean, fresh water, and clean tools, to rinse away any soap residue.[15]
EditTreating the Cut - Keep washing your hands. Your cut is an entrance for unwanted bacteria into your bloodstream.[16]
- Ask your doctor about putting any product in your nose. Anti-infective, or antibiotic creams and ointments are made to be used on superficial cuts and scrapes, but may not be appropriate for more severe injuries further up inside your nose. Ask your doctor if this product can be safely used to treat the cut inside your nose. Products like this can be purchased without a prescription at your local pharmacy.[17]
- If your doctor approves, place a small amount of the anti-infective cream or ointment on the end of a cotton swab, or on a small piece of gauze. Carefully apply the medicated cream or ointment to the area surrounding the cut.[18]
- Avoid touching the cut with your fingers. If you must use your hands to apply treatment, then be sure you have washed them thoroughly.[19]
- Do not pick at the area. Once you have applied the medication, leave the area alone. Keep your fingers away, and do not pick at the scab. Picking at the area can prevent the cut from healing and increase your risk of infection.[20]
- Gently cleaning the area and using an emollient safe for your nasal area may help to prevent the formation of large and uncomfortable scabs. Consider using the anti-infective ointment, or a small amount of petroleum jelly to keep the area moist.
- This should help the cut to form smaller and softer scabs, and help the area to heal on its own.
- Re-apply the treatment as needed. Depending on the placement of the cut, its length, and depth, you may need to repeat the application of the medication every day, or every few days. Use caution not to introduce any bacteria.[21]
EditHandling a Severe Case - Seek medical attention if the bleeding does not easily stop. Persistent bleeding can indicate a broken bone, a deep cut inside your nose, or a more severe medical condition. Bleeding that continues for more than 15 to 20 minutes is a warning sign that something more serious may have happened.[22]
- See your doctor if the cut does not begin to heal within a few days. Some injuries that occur inside the nostrils may need to be medically treated. The nose is a sensitive area with a lot of blood vessels, fluids (like mucus), and sinus drainage – all of which contain bacteria. Some injuries that occur inside the nose need to be treated by a doctor, or even a specialist, such as an ear, nose, and throat doctor.[23]
- In some cases, the wound may seem to heal properly, but returns in a few weeks or months. This is a sign of a possible infection. You may need to ask a doctor about antibiotics and medical procedures that can prevent your sore from coming back.[24]
- Seek medical help if an animal is involved. If your cut was caused by an animal, or by something dirty with ragged and uneven edges, you need to be certain that the area is properly cleaned and treated. The earlier you identify an infection, the easier it will be to safely treat and control.[25]
- See a doctor as soon as possible if your nasal injury was caused by something that could carry the potential for a serious systemic infection.[26]
- Watch for signs of infection. Regardless of the cause of the cut, infections warrant prompt medical attention. Heed the following symptoms of infection:[27]
- The area does not improve in a few days, or begins to get worse.
- The area begins to swell, and feels warm to the touch.
- The wound is causing a thick or pus-like drainage, and you notice an odor coming from the injury or the drainage.
- You start to run a fever.
- Ask your doctor about treatments for an infection. In most cases, a physician will write you a prescription for an oral or topical antibiotic. Depending on the treatment, you can expect the cut to heal within a week or two once you have begun an antibiotic regimen.[28]
- Cuts that persist for weeks or even longer, may indicate a more serious condition, and warrant medical attention.
- Leave it alone. Picking at a sore or cut in your nose prevents it from healing, and introduces bacteria to the area that can lead to an infection.
- If you notice pain, swelling, or bruising, then you may have a broken bone, and not just a cut. See your doctor if you develop those symptoms.
- Recurrent and prolonged episodes of bleeding from the area, may indicate the need for a medical procedure. The cut may be deeper or longer than you initially thought.
- If the cut is too far up your nasal passage to be visible or easily reached, then see your doctor for treatment.
- Eating a diet rich in fruits and vegetables can promote healing.
- Keep up with your tetanus shots. Adults are due for a booster injection about every 10 years.
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