| How to Stay in Love Posted: 20 Oct 2021 05:00 PM PDT Falling in love may seem like it happens without any effort at all, but staying in love can be a bit harder. Once you and your partner have moved past the first part of your relationship, you might find it harder to overlook certain things or you may have a hard time figuring out how to spend your time together. There are lots of ways that you can work together to keep the love in your relationship and keep it going for a long time. Start below to learn how. [Edit]Maintaining a Healthy Relationship - Talk openly with your partner. Communication is a super important part of any relationship. Talk to your partner about everything from how your day went to your deepest fears, hopes, and dreams. Don't shy away from the tough stuff, either—be open if you're having trouble or you're not happy with something in the relationship, and work together to solve any problems that come up.[1]
- Be sure to encourage your partner to open up to you, as well. Pay attention to unspoken communication, too—your partner's tone of voice and body language can be important clues to their emotional state.[2]
- Express your appreciation for them. Don't let your partner feel taken for granted. Make sure you tell them what you appreciate about them on a regular basis. Be specific—point out what they do well and let them know why it matters to you. If you appreciate your partner on a regular basis, it is more likely that you will also be appreciated in return.[3]
- For example, you might say something like, "You know, my job can be really stressful sometimes, but when I get home, you're there and you're happy to see me, and my day just instantly gets better."
- Let them know you notice the little things, too—a simple, "Thank you for taking out the trash!" can really go a long way.
- Make time for each other. Even if your schedules are tight, make sure that you set aside some time to spend together every week. It doesn't have to be fancy, but having regular quality time is important if you want to keep your love strong. During this time, just focus on each other—try not to talk about chores, the kids, or anything stressful. And put down your phones so you can give each other your full attention![4]
- Quality time can be as simple as drinking coffee together in the morning, going for a walk on the weekend, or watching your favorite show together at night.
- Regular dates are an important part of quality time, too. Just make sure you're spending time together in between special occasions.
- If you can't be together in person, make sure you schedule regular times to catch up over the phone or on video calls.
- Don't get discouraged when the "honeymoon phase" ends. It is natural to be enamored with someone the first few months you are dating, feeling like nothing could ever come between you. Over time, though, the day-to-day grind and the ups and downs of a relationship will set in, and those initial feelings will change a little. However, if you stay dedicated to each other, a deeper love will replace them.[5][6]
- Keep in mind that the end of the honeymoon phase is not a bad thing, but rather an important step in your relationship. Now is the time you get to know your partner better and cultivate a long-lasting, loving relationship.
- Remember why you fell in love in the first place. Over the course of your relationship, you'll both grow and change, and in time, those early dating days will seem like a distant memory. Try not to lose sight of what you first noticed about your partner that made you fall in love, like their great sense of humor or amazing compassion. Chances are, those are some of the qualities they'll hold on to over the years.[7]
- Try going back to the spot where you had your first date for a fun way to stir up some of those old feelings!
- Looking back through pictures from when you started dating can help you remember how you felt when you first met your partner, too.
- Try writing down a list of everything you love about your partner. Be as specific as possible, like "The way his eyes light up when he talks about music," or "The way she can always think of something positive to say." When things get tough, like the two of you have an argument, look back over that list.
- Pursue your own interests and goals. Even in a long-term relationship, it's important for both of you to be independent. If you spend every waking moment with your partner, then you may not appreciate the time that you have together as much. Make sure to plan activities apart and retain your independence as you continue your relationship.[8]
- Try setting aside a night or day each week where you both do something on your own or with friends.
- Be trusting and trustworthy. You both have to be able to trust each other in order to love each other for the long-term. Building trust requires you and your partner to be vulnerable with each other, keep promises, and keep the lines of communication open. Each time that you trust your partner to take care of something for you or to keep his or her word, you are providing a chance for your partner to follow through and earn more trust from you.[9][10]
- Trust your partner by telling them your secrets, letting them handle things on their own, and going to them when you need someone to support you.
- Take care of yourself. When you feel good about yourself, it's only going to make your relationship stronger. Make your physical and emotional health a priority so you'll look and feel your very best.[11] For instance, try to:
- Eat a nutritious diet and stay hydrated
- Be physically active
- Get enough sleep
- Do things that help you relieve stress
- Make time for self-care
- Set goals for yourself and work toward them
[Edit]Keeping Things Fun - Flirt with each other. Just because you've been together for a while doesn't mean you should stop flirting! Make it a habit to give your partner flirty glances, compliment their appearance, and be physically affectionate with each other. Anything that lets them know you're still as attracted to them as you ever were! Here are a few things you might try:[12]
- Call your partner a flirty nickname, like "handsome," "cutie," or "beautiful."
- Reach for their hand or put your arm around their waist when they're not expecting it.
- Give them a wink and a grin from across the room.
- Send them a flirty text, like, "I keep getting distracted from work because I'm thinking about you!"
- Create traditions. Having shared traditions is a great way to strengthen the bond between you and your partner. Brainstorm with your partner to create some traditions that will strengthen your bond. You can look forward to these traditions and create new ones as your relationship continues to progress.[13]
- Many traditions evolve over time as a result of your mutual likes and dislikes. For example, you might both enjoy watching the Oscars and start a tradition of having an Oscar watching party where you both dress up and present each other with an award.
- Give them thoughtful gifts. Pay attention to the types of things your partner always eyes but never seems to buy for themselves. This is the type of stuff that makes for the perfect gift! Not only will they genuinely enjoy whatever you get them, but they'll also be really touched that you noticed and remembered what they wanted.[14]
- Gifts don't have to be expensive—it can be as simple as bringing home flowers or picking up their favorite pasta when they're too busy to cook dinner.
- You don't even necessarily have to buy something. Try leaving a sweet note in their pocket before they leave for work, or send them a thoughtful text when you know they're having a tough day.[15]
- Be spontaneous. Sure, you have a lot of responsibilities to take care of, and you probably can't just blow off work to go backpack around Switzerland. But you can drop the schedule every once in a while and do something unplanned and fun—and you should. Being spontaneous will help keep your lover on your toes, and both of your will feel like your relationship is more exciting and fun.
- Being spontaneous can be as simple as calling off dinner and going out for ice cream or having an impromptu slow dance after the kids are in bed. Or, you could take a quick weekend trip when the weather is nice.
- Try new things. When you're in a relationship for a long time, you might start to feel like you're stuck in the same old routine. Break out of it by taking on a new hobby or trying a new activity together. It might be most exciting if you do something neither of you have ever tried but always wanted to do, but if you can't come up with anything, you can take turns trying each other's favorite activity, instead.[16][17]
- Take a ballroom class, sign up for painting lessons, or build something together, for instance.
- Go on double dates together. Sure, regular dates are important, but going out with another couple can actually be a really great way to keep the flame alive! It gives you a chance to see your sweetheart in a new light as the two of you get to know the other couple on a deeper level.[18]
- This works best in situations where you can comfortably have in-depth conversations, so try inviting another couple to join you for dinner at your favorite restaurant the next time you feel like shaking things up.
- Go on a romantic getaway. It can sometimes be hard to clear your schedule or budget for a trip, but going on vacation with your partner is an amazing way to reinvigorate your relationship. You don't even have to go far—just spending a night or two at a cute hotel in the next town can leave you both feeling refreshed and closer than ever.[19]
- If you really can't get away right now, spend some time planning your ultimate vacation together. Talk about where you'd both like to go, then research hotels, restaurants, and things to do in town. Sooner or later that dream vacay might just become a reality![20]
- Spice things up in the bedroom. Don't be afraid to try something new to keep your sex life exciting! Ask your partner if there's anything they've always wanted to try, then surprise them with it next time you're being intimate. Or, visit an adults-only shop together and pick out something you think would be fun, like a board game for couples or a book on different sex positions.[21]
- The longer you're together, the better you'll get at knowing what turns your partner on. Instead of getting complacent, take advantage of that and change things up every now and then!
- Don't skip the foreplay—tease your partner by sending them flirty texts, brushing against them when you pass in the hallway, or giving them an extra-long kiss before they leave for work.
[Edit]Dealing with Conflicts - Resolve conflicts as soon as possible. All couples disagree sometimes. However, when you're in love, it hurts you when there's any distance between you. If that happens, don't pull further away. Instead, reach out to your partner and let them know you love them. Then, work together to find a solution to the disagreement, and talk about how you can avoid an argument next time.[22]
- When the two of you disagree about something, take turns talking about your point of view, and make a point of really listening to the other person. Then, try to find a compromise that works for both of you.
- Try not to hold on to past disagreements, but don't sweep them under the rug, either. It's important to be open and honest so resentment doesn't build up—but once something is over, let it go.
- Remember, you're a team. It's the two of you against a problem, not against each other!
- Bring up issues in a nonconfrontational way. No matter how much you love someone, there might be times that you need to address something that you're not happy with. Maybe they didn't keep up their end of an agreement or you're concerned about one of their habits, for instance. It's important to talk about these things openly, but try to approach it in a gentle, loving way so it doesn't lead to an argument.[23]
- Try to use "I" statements to describe your feelings, rather than pointing the finger at your partner. For instance, you might say, "I really love you and I want you to be around for a long time. I'm a little worried because you haven't been to the doctor to see about your cough. Can we talk about it?"
- You might also say, "When you leave your dirty clothes on the floor it makes me feel frustrated and anxious. Is there anything we could do to make it easier to put clothes in the hamper?"
- Accept responsibility for your role in disagreements. One of the best things you can do to deal with conflicts is to know when you are at fault (or at least a little at fault) and try to find a way to compromise with your partner. Taking responsibility for your role in the conflicts that arise in your relationship will help to make it easier to find areas for compromise.[24]
- Always apologize for what you did wrong, even if you feel like your partner started an argument. For instance, you might say, "I'm sorry that I started to yell when I got frustrated. I should have taken a break when my emotions took over."
- Don't blame your partner when things go wrong, and don't let them blame you. Instead, you should both take responsibility for your part in things.[25]
- Forgive your partner for their flaws. No one is perfect, but people often forget this about the ones they love. Your partner is going to make mistakes and hurt your feelings sometimes. While it may be difficult to forgive them, it is something that you need to learn how to do in order to maintain a loving relationship.[26]
- Remember, you have to be willing to give forgiveness to get forgiveness, and you are going to make your share of mistakes too.
- Accept your partner's quirks, as well. Everyone has different preferences and habits, and you cannot expect your partner to do everything just like you do. It's just a part of who they are![27]
- Listen carefully during disagreements. If your partner comes to you and needs to talk to you about something, really hear what they're saying to you. Don't just think about what you're going to say next—stay present and try to really understand what they're getting at. Also, make sure they know that you're on their side and you'll support them no matter what.[28][29]
- It can sometimes help to repeat back what your partner is saying to make sure you understand each other. For instance, you might say, "It sounds like you're saying you're frustrated because I've been working long hours, right?"
- Be willing to compromise. When you're in a relationship, you can't make decisions based only on what you want. Talk to your partner about decisions, and if you have different opinions, figure out how to navigate that. Sometimes it means taking turns choosing things, and other times it means meeting in the middle.[30]
- For example, if you and your partner both want to see a different movie on your date night, one of you might say, "Okay, let's see the one you want to see this week." Then the other person can choose the next time.
- Sometimes you might need to come up with a totally new solution. If one of you wants Greek food and the other wants Mexican and neither of you can sway the other, you might end up going for Thai instead. You could even agree to pick up food from two different places.
- You may encounter bigger compromises at some point in your relationship as well. For example, if you are offered a job in another state, your partner would have to decide if they would be willing to give up their job and friends so you could take that job.
- If you live together, be sure you split up the household duties fairly so one person doesn't resent doing the majority of the work.[31]
[Edit]Warnings - If someone is unwilling to work on staying in love with you or does not treat you with respect, it may be time to move on.
[Edit]Related wikiHows [Edit]References [Edit]Quick Summary |
| How to Know if Someone Is Angry with You Posted: 20 Oct 2021 09:00 AM PDT Sometimes it's obvious someone is angry with you: they might shout at you about something you did, or tell you flat-out that you've made them mad. But other times, it's not so clear, and you might be left wondering whether or not you did something wrong. There isn't always a guaranteed way to tell if someone is mad at you specifically or is just grumpy, but there are a few telling clues that can help you figure out whether someone is angry with you. [Edit]They give you short, clipped responses. - A person who's angry with you may not want to talk. Not everyone expresses their anger verbally, especially if they were taught that it's not okay to show it. If someone is normally rather talkative, they might start giving you short or nondescript answers, or respond with a sound (like "mm-hm" or grunting).[1]
- For example, if you ask your spouse how their day was, and they just say "Fine, thanks," they might be angry at you.
- If you're communicating over text or social media, they might give you single-letter or single-word responses (like "k" or "cool").
[Edit]They use black-and-white thinking. - It's hard to take a nuanced perspective when angry. This can easily show up when someone is angry at you and isn't thinking rationally. They might overgeneralize your behavior, make all-or-nothing statements or decisions, or get fixated on how things "have to" be.[2]
- If you clock into work a few minutes late, and your boss mutters, "You are incapable of being on time," they're probably not happy with you.
- Or, your friend might go so far as to threaten to end the friendship because they found out you talked with their ex.
[Edit]They have closed-off or tense body language. - Anger can make someone visibly tense and uncommunicative. Body language can be tricky to interpret, but sometimes it can clue you in to someone's true emotions. Here are some specific body language cues you can look for:[3]
- Glaring (or, on the flip side, pointedly looking away)
- Furrowing their brows
- Clenching their jaw or gritting their teeth
- Tightly pursing their lips
- Scowling
- Tensing their shoulders[4]
- Crossing their arms over their chest[5]
- Closing or clenching their fists
- Turning their body away from you, or angling themselves towards the door
[Edit]They sound irritated or tense. - Sounding snippy could mean something is amiss. If someone is angry with you, you might notice that they develop an edge to their voice when talking to you. They could sound irritated, condescending, or unemotional; it might seem like they're "taking a tone." And if they're only mad at you, they won't have this tone with anyone else.[6]
- If you greet someone who's frustrated with you, for instance, they might sigh and give you a sharp, "What?" rather than greeting you back.
- Some people will snap or yell at you when they're mad at you, but not everybody will.
[Edit]They ignore or avoid you. - Silence or "stonewalling" is a sign something is wrong. Some people, when angry, will go silent—whether to control their temper or to send a message. They might tell you clearly that they don't want to talk to you or be around you right now, or to leave them alone. Younger or less mature people might just ignore your texts or calls, not acknowledge you when you speak, or even pretend you don't exist.[7]
- If you follow each other on social media, they may stop liking or commenting on your posts, or even block you.
- The silent treatment can be frustrating, and it doesn't resolve the problem. It's okay to gently call it out with something like, "I understand you're upset with me, and I'd really like to figure out how to resolve this. Let's talk about it."[8]
[Edit]They seem cold. - A person who's frustrated with you might act distant. While they may not flat-out ignore you or be rude to you, they may act oddly polite or professional, not engage in regular chatter or banter, or shut down attempts at conversation with short or yes-no responses. They might not laugh at any of your jokes, for instance, or appear disinterested in talking to you—but seem completely fine with everybody else.[9]
- This tends to be more obvious with people you're close with, because they'll be acting "off."
[Edit]They complain about or badmouth you. - You're probably not in someone's good graces if they're venting about you. No matter how you find out about it, if you discover someone's sharing frustration about you or something you did, it's a safe bet that they're annoyed or frustrated with you. They might just be expressing frustration (e.g. "It's ridiculous how often she keeps changing plans"), or they might cross into trash-talk (e.g. "Even a five-year-old could do better than him").[10]
- Sometimes, the person might even do this when they know you can hear. They may make comments such as, "Not naming names, but some people need to learn to take responsibility."
- Some people will spread rumors or gossip when they're angry. But they might also do it because they want to start drama or appear better than you, so if there's gossip circulating about you, it doesn't always mean you've ticked someone off.[11]
[Edit]They blame you. - You may feel like this person could find a way to make everything your fault. Does it seem like someone is jumping through hoops to pin the blame on you for something, even if you only played a minor role (or were completely uninvolved)? Chances are good they're mad at you, and this is their way of taking it out on you.[12]
- Let's say your coworker confronts you over the printer being out of paper. When you ask why they didn't reload the printer themselves, they claim they couldn't because you never showed them where the paper is. They could have asked someone else, so this may be an excuse to get annoyed with you personally.
[Edit]They act passive-aggressive. - Inaction or underhanded behavior can be a subtle revenge tactic. This can include comments or actions that seem innocent without context, but it can also involve deliberately not doing anything, like putting off something you asked them to handle.[13]
- For instance, your roommate made it clear they disliked a new house rule. Later, they go out shopping, but "forget" to bring back something you asked for. That could be their way of communicating that they're still mad.
- Or, let's say you fought with a friend. If they make a post on social media later that's clearly a jab at you, it's still bugging them.
[Edit]They nitpick. - You might feel like this person is hypercritical of everything you're doing. Constant feedback, criticism, or negativity can be tiring or frustrating—and it's a pretty good sign that whoever's giving you this input isn't happy with you. A sudden uptick in criticism might mean the person is mad at you, especially if they're being picky or unnecessarily rude over things that are minor, inconsequential, or that you're sensitive to.[14]
- For example, suppose your friend suddenly starts harshly criticizing your taste in crushes, your stutter, and the way you've organized your essay. If they're only doing this to you and nobody else, they're probably mad at you.
- Be aware, though, that nitpicking alone doesn't mean someone is mad at you. It can also be caused by things like anxiety, stress, or perfectionism.
[Edit]They pick fights. - A neutral or happy person doesn't go out of their way to argue with you. But when someone is mad at you, they might intentionally provoke heated debates as a way to rile you up. Nitpicking can be part of this, but they could also rehash old behaviors or fights, deliberately bring up topics that you two strongly disagree on, or even resort to personal attacks and insults.[15]
- As an example, maybe you've previously cheated on your partner, but you ended the affair and agreed to work it out. But if your partner keeps accusing you of cheating every time you're more than five minutes late, they may still be angry at you.
[Edit]They retaliate. - Lashing out or seeking revenge is a telltale sign of anger. While it's a destructive way of handling anger, a person who's attempting to get vengeance almost certainly feels like they were wronged, and is probably trying to get justice or "take you down a notch." If someone is trying to "get even," embarrass, or even sabotage you, then there's no question about whether they're angry with you.[16]
- If you accidentally broke your friend's phone, for instance, an angry friend might try to damage your phone as payback.
- Some people will retaliate with threats, verbal abuse, or physical violence. This is never okay. If you feel that you're in danger, tell someone who can help.
[Edit]They tell you outright. - Sometimes people will simply tell you if they're mad at you. If this person is fairly open about their feelings, or if you have a close personal relationship, it's more likely that they'll just express straight-out that they're upset (and possibly tell you why). If they say something like, "I'm mad at you right now," or "I'm angry with you because you flaked on me again," you'll know for sure that they're mad at you![17]
- If they're not too angry, this can give you an opening to apologize and find a solution to what happened.
- You might also be able to just ask, if you have a good relationship with the person. Try something like, "I've noticed you haven't really been talking to me since yesterday. Did I upset you with what I said?"
- In the heat of the moment, it's better to step away rather than try and fix the problem. Apologizing or conflict resolution is most effective once the person has calmed down.[18]
- Remember that just because someone is angry doesn't mean they're angry at you specifically. Sometimes you might just be the first person they feel comfortable lashing out at. Look at the context of their behavior, and whether you're the only person they seem grumpy or angry around.
[Edit]Related wikiHows [Edit]References |
| How to Shave a Tony Stark Beard Posted: 20 Oct 2021 01:00 AM PDT You don't have to be a billionaire playboy or a superhero to rock Tony Stark's classic look. If you've got a decent beard growing, you can easily trim it down to Iron Man's iconic style without too much trouble. To make the job easier, we've answered some of the most common questions that people ask about how you can shave your beard to look like Tony Stark's. [Edit]What is Tony Stark's beard called? - It's a combination of an anchor beard and a disconnected mustache. Tony Stark's iconic beard is actually a new take on an old classic. The anchor beard features a low beard without sideburns that actually creates an "anchor" effect when viewed from the front. The addition of a disconnected but sleek and trimmed mustache adds a modern style to the classic look.[1]
[Edit]How do you shave an anchor beard? - Use clippers to trim your whole beard evenly. Start by trimming down all of your beard hairs so they're the same length, which will make it easier for you to style and shape an anchor beard.[2] Use a pair of electric clippers with a medium-length guard and shave your sideburns, chin, and mustache.[3]
- Electric clippers are the way to go for shaping an anchor beard.
- Shave along your jawline and remove your sideburns. Use your clippers to shave your neck and create a clean, sharp jawline. Then, shave off your sideburns from your hairline down to the top of your jawline so you're left with a floating, low beard.[4]
- Leave a space between your beard and mustache. Tony Stark's mustache isn't actually connected to his beard like a goatee. Instead, there's a small separation between the two, which you can easily create by trimming away a small section right where your mustache connects to your beard.[5]
[Edit]How do you trim a mustache? - Shave downward with clippers to trim the length. Take a pair of clippers and attach a low guard to it. Hold the clippers at a downward angle and shave your mustache using downward strokes so the hairs are brushed in the same direction and trimmed evenly.[6]
- Trim along your upper lip to create a clean line. Remove the guard from your clippers. Use the unguarded clippers to trim an even line just above your upper lip. Make sure the line is clean and consistent.[7]
[Edit]How do you shave a low beard? - You can trim your cheek and necklines. Use your clippers to draw a "U" from behind each ear, behind your jawbone, and down to a point on your neck. Trim down the length of the hairs on your cheek so your lower beard hairs are longer, which will make your beard look more full.[8]
[Edit]How can I shape my beard myself? - You can start with a larger setting and work your way down. If you're new to shaving your beard yourself, you can make it a little easier by taking it slow.[9] Use a pair of electric clippers and attach a higher guard. Shave your beard in front of a mirror so you can see what you're doing. Work your way down to lower settings by switching the guard out until you're satisfied with the shape of your beard.[10]
[Edit]References |
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