| How to Deal with Rage Posted: 04 Jan 2018 04:00 PM PST Anger is one of the most commonly experienced emotions. It can manifest in both healthy and unhealthy ways. Rage, however, is a more intense form of anger that is often associated with destructive, out of control behavior. If you're enraged, you might explode and lash out at others or coldly withdraw and repress your emotions. Such behavior can ruin your professional and personal relationships, so deal with rage by finding healthy outlets for your anger, dealing with the source of the problem, and getting support from others. EditLetting Go of Your Rage - Take deep breaths. Deep breathing is a great exercise to make use of when you're feeling rage. It allows you to slow down and regain control of your thoughts and emotions as well as the situation itself. Do several cycles of deep breathing until you feel calmer.[1]
- Try pulling in deep breaths from your diaphragm. Inhale and watch your belly expand. Exhale and watch it deflate. With each inhale, imagine yourself being filled with calm energy. With each exhale, envision the rage being expelled from your body.
- Relieve tension with progressive muscle relaxation. Rage can cause extreme physical tension in your body, which can actually lead to injury. Progressive muscle relaxation is a useful exercise for easing this tension.[2]
- Take deep, calming breaths. Start at your toes and work your way up through your body, gradually contracting and relaxing each muscle group. For instance, you might tense your toes up and notice what that feels like for a few seconds. Then, release the tension and notice what that feels like before moving to a new muscle group.
- This technique also helps you become more aware of the experience of holding tension in your body. In the future, when you feel that tension, you'll know how to relax your muscles.
- Journal. Aggressive actions like punching, throwing something, or yelling don't always lead to catharsis. Why? Because you haven't actually addressed the thing that's making you feel enraged. Writing in a journal is one of the best ways to do this.[3]
- Start a rage journal in which you regularly jot down all the people or situations that rub you the wrong way. Describe everything in as much detail as you can.
- Once you've let off some steam, go back and re-read what you wrote. You might decide to go ahead and rip the paper to pieces. You might also decide to brainstorm some ways to actively problem-solve the situations that make you so angry.[4]
EditActing on Your Rage Safely - Scream out your frustration. Turning your anger inward can lead to serious health problems and letting it out by yelling at your loved ones can ruin your relationships. A better alternative is to let it out with a mighty scream.[5]
- Get in your car and yell to the top of your lungs. Or, briefly shout into a pillow to let it all out.
- Throw or break something. Whether you're feeling hot (lashing out and shouting) or cold (repressed and withdrawn) rage, a great way to release your anger is by destroying something--in an appropriate way, of course. Go to a "rage room," if there's one in your area.[6]
- Rage rooms provide a safe environment for you to smash and throw things and burn off steam.
- If you can't locate a rage room nearby, buy a stack of cheap plates at the dollar store, go to a contained area like a garage, and throw them at the wall. Feels good, huh?
- Have a go at a punching bag. Aggressive outlets aren't the best way to channel your rage. Still, punching a bag is much more constructive than punching a wall or someone's face. Go to a nearby gym and have a turn at the punching bag. Or, shadow box by punching the air in front of you.[7]
- While you're angry, avoid boxing with an actual human, as your anger may cause you to do more damage than intended.
EditFinding Practical Solutions - Know your triggers. In order to truly deal with your rage you must be able to recognize what rage feels like and what situations tend to cause it. The next time you feel rage, take a moment to observe what's happening in your body. Also, take note of what stimulated this feeling.[8]
- For example, you notice you've clenched your jaw really tight and your head starts pounding. This occurred after you were cut off in traffic.
- Brainstorm solutions for triggering events. Deal with your rage by problem-solving ways you can avoid or better cope with your triggers. Create a specific plan of action that allows you to improve how you handle these situations.[9]
- For instance, if terrible traffic leads to rage, head out early to avoid traffic.
- If flustered, over-worked cashiers tick you off, try to shop during quieter, off hours.
- If your roommate's messy bedroom bugs you, avoid going in there so you can stay calm.
- Learn to say 'no" when you're overwhelmed or stressed. If you're experiencing cold rage from having repressed your anger, you might benefit from some assertiveness training. Learn to speak up for yourself respectfully and with tact. If people are asking too much of you, say so.[10]
- For instance, if your boss keeps dropping more work on your desk before you've finished your current projects, your temper may flare. Instead of holding it in, meet with your boss one-on-one and express your frustration. Say something like, "You're giving me more work than I can handle right now. I'm trying to focus my efforts on the upcoming briefing. Can I delegate some of these assignments to Jenny?"
- Change your language. The words you use can impact your emotions. Strong, absolute words like "never" or "always" don't leave any room for exceptions, so they hinder problem-solving. Drop these terms from your vocabulary and see if it has a positive effect on your mood.[11]
- Tell people what you need using "I" statements. Rage can remove all filters in conversation to the point that you're criticizing and insulting people right and left. To avoid this, assert yourself with specific "I" statements. This limits blaming and criticizing, but still helps you get your point across.[12]
- For example, if you're struggling to contain rage at an insensitive partner, express your needs with an "I" statement like, "I feel ignored and misunderstood when you minimize my anxiety."
EditGetting Support - Try therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, has been proven to help people with chronic anger issues. Your CBT therapist will work with your one-on-one to develop better strategies for dealing with anger, such as changing your thought patterns and learning to be more assertive.[13]
- Ask your family physician for a referral if you would like to talk to a therapist.
- Join an anger management support group. Many communities offer special programs to teach anger management skills. You might learn practical skills in a group setting or share your unique struggles with rage with others. Programs may be offered by hospitals, clinics, or churches in your community.[14]
- You might also connect with others who have rage issues online by searching for support groups on websites like Psychology Today.[15]
- Consider if you have intermittent explosive disorder. IED is a behavioral disorder classified by extreme bouts of rage. These episodes may involve impulsive or violent acts that occur with little or no apparent trigger. IED is more common in younger people and males. See a psychologist or psychiatrist for an evaluation, if you regularly experience sudden bouts of rage.[16]
- Treatment for intermittent explosive disorder typically includes a combination of medication and psychotherapy to help gain control of rage.
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Cope With Culture Shock After a Trip Abroad Posted: 04 Jan 2018 08:00 AM PST Trips abroad are incredible, often life-changing experiences that show you the world in a whole new light. Returning home after such a powerful journey can be difficult, but there are ways to make it easier. Taking care of your physical and mental health, connecting with your old life in meaningful ways, and keeping the spirit of your trip alive will help make your transition as smooth as possible. EditAdjusting to your Old Home - Set a proper sleep schedule to combat jet lag. After a long time abroad, a plane trip to a new time zone can be tricky to deal with. To make it easier, set a consistent time to be in bed each night and stick to it. Adjust it in 15-30 minute increments until you're synced back up.[1]
- If you have trouble falling asleep, put on some relaxing music, take a hot bath, or sit in a chair and read for a few minutes. Make sure to avoid digital distractions like phones and computers.[2]
- Get outside and exercise. Regular exercise helps your body stay healthy when adjusting to a different environment. Doing it outside gives you a chance to adapt to the new climate and re-experience your old home. The more physical presence you have in a place, the easier it will be to become emotionally close to it.[3]
- Good places to run include local trails, parks and, if you're enrolled in school, the campus itself.
- Enjoy the things you missed while you were away. Visit your favorite local store, restaurant, or coffee shop. Take a hot shower, lavish sleeping in your own bed, and eat your favorite foods. Use these as tools to help you appreciate being home.
- Give yourself time to relax. From traffic signs, types of food, and social etiquette to the entire speed of life, school, and work, returning home can be an incredibly overwhelming experience. If you feel exhausted or frustrated, give yourself a day or two to relax on your own. Remember that adjusting to a new style of life takes time, so don't worry if you make mistakes along the way.
- If your schedule doesn't leave much time for relaxation, take a few minutes in the morning to meditate. Close your eyes and let your mind focus on taking deep, steady breaths.
- Talk to a therapist if you're feeling depressed or distant from others. After such a major experience, returning home can bring with it any number of emotions. A therapist can help you talk through and understand them, providing solutions to any stress or anxiety you may be feeling. Even if you think it's unnecessary, therapy can unearth thoughts and feelings you didn't know you held, making it easier to cope and adjust.[4]
- If you studied abroad for school, therapy is often included in your university fees, so make sure to schedule an appointment with your school counselor.
EditRemembering Your Experience - Decorate your space with trinkets and photos. Photos of your adventure and small, meaningful objects can bring your room to life and make your return more pleasant. Put out items like statues, rugs, table displays, or pieces of art. Get a frame for your favorite photos, or simply tack them to your wall.[5]
- Keep wearing your new clothes. Just because you're home doesn't mean you have to give up your foreign threads. Though some outfits may not work in different climates or social settings, casual clothes and accessories like scarves, hats, and buttons can help you live the culture a little bit every day.[6]
- If your trip was a life-changing one, consider getting a tattoo to commemorate it. Symbols, foreign script, and meaningful pictures can be a great way to memorialize your journey.
- Stay in touch with foreign friends. Thanks to the Internet, leaving a country doesn't mean leaving your friends behind. Keep in touch on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media apps. For those you're really close to, stay connected through private chats, texts, or messaging apps like Snapchat.
- Share your stories of life abroad. Though you may have returned home, sharing your memories will keep your experiences alive and fresh. Try starting a blog or YouTube channel talking about your journey, or simply tell your friends about it. The more you share, the greater impact your knowledge and stories can have on the world.[7]
- Search for web forums and groups on Facebook related to travel. Members are often receptive to new stories and can offer advice on dealing with culture shock.
EditMoving on with Life - Connect with your family and friends. After an experience abroad, it may feel like the entire world has changed. Your family and close friends can help ground you after returning, their love and kindness showing that the important things in life don't disappear. Though your relationships may be different, with some friends moving away or changing their social circles, focus on the things that haven't changed while you're still adjusting.[8]
- You don't need to connect with all your friends immediately. Take a few days to relax before seeking people out.
- Avoid parties and welcome home events. Seeing all your friends at once can be nice, but smaller events and one-on-ones will keep you from becoming overwhelmed.
- Pick up old hobbies. Life abroad can be busy, especially if you traveled for school or work. Returning home gives you a chance to take your old hobbies off the backburner and enjoy them with new eyes.
- For creative hobbies like painting and writing, use your experiences abroad to try out new styles, methods, and subject matters.
- For games or sports, look for cultural influences you never noticed before, like Japanese references in video games or regional differences in sports equipment.
- Join a club or group. It's easy to become isolated after such a long time away. A great way to combat this is by joining a local club. If you were part of a group before leaving, see when the next meeting is and let them know you're coming. If you need to find one, search online for groups based around specific interests like board games or books.
- For college students, check your campus website for a list of clubs and when they meet.
- If you miss your time abroad, look for clubs focused on foreign art or culture.
- Set a new life goal. Think about what made your time abroad so wonderful. It could be the faster or slower speed of life, the different customs, or the fact that it was something new and exciting. Make a new, concrete goal with this mind, like taking a foreign studies class, writing a book, finding a new job, or saving enough money to travel again. Having something specific to plan for will keep you excited and engaged moving forward.[9]
- Don't talk negatively about your home life or culture. Focus on the positive instead of casting a negative light on anything from home.
EditRelated wikiHows EditSources and Citations
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| How to Build a Snow Cave Posted: 04 Jan 2018 12:00 AM PST Need to build an emergency shelter in the snow? Do you intend to camp out in the snow on a ski trek? Or are you trying to build the best snow fort your town has ever seen? Just want to relax? No matter what your reason is, make sure you follow each step carefully so your snow cave won't collapse on top of you. If you're willing to put in a few hours of hard work, and the snow conditions are right, you can make a snow cave to be proud of.
EditSelecting a Spot and Preparing - Avoid areas of rockfall or windy slopes. Take care not to dig a snow cave under the path of a potential avalanche or rockfall. Slopes with the wind blowing against them could be dangerous if you are staying overnight, as blowing snow could clog the entrance tunnel and block access to the outside air.
- Find an area with deep snow. If you can find a snowdrift at least five feet (1.5m) deep, a lot of your work will be done for you. Look for areas where the wind has blown the snow against a slope. Keep in mind you'll also need an area large enough to house however many people you have. A ten foot (3 m) diameter cave is comfortable for two or three people.
- Test the consistency of the snow. Light, powdery snow may be difficult to work with, and is more likely to collapse. Fortunately, snow tends to harden once disturbed, so if you have the time to pile it up and wait for it to harden, you will likely still be able to form it into a snow cave.[1]
- If conditions aren't right, consider a trench instead. If you are in an emergency situation, one alternative is to dig a trench in the snow and use a tarp to cover it. Prop the tarp up with ski poles or branches stuck in the snow. This is easier and faster to dig, but will not provide the same warmth as a snow cave, and could become buried in a snowstorm.
- Check that you have the clothing and equipment you need. Warm, waterproof clothing is essential if you are out in the wilderness. Consider removing one or two dry under-layers of clothing before you begin working so you have something to change into if your clothing gets wet while digging. As for equipment, a compact snow shovel or two will make the snow cave's construction much easier. A non-smoke-producing light source is useful for overnight stays, but a candle or other small flame source can be used if you remember to create a ventilation hole.
- Ventilation holes are described further on in this article.
- Find a friend to help. Having at least two people build a cave together is highly recommended. Keep one person outside of the cave with a spare shovel at all times. This way, if the cave collapses during the digging, the person on the outside can shovel away the snow to rescue the person trapped inside.
EditHollowing Out the Cave - Work slowly but methodically. Work in shifts if you have more than one person, and take breaks for eating and drinking. Working slowly but efficiently, without breaking a sweat, will keep you warmer and safer than trying to rush the job. Sweating can cause heat loss, which increases the risk of hypothermia.[2]
- Pile up the snow if necessary. Unless the snowdrifts in your area are deep enough already, you'll need to shovel the snow into a pile at least five feet (1.5m) tall, and large enough to fit the number of people it will be sheltering.
- A quick way to pile up snow is to find a short slope and use your shovel to push the snowdrift down to the base of the slope.[3] Beware of taller slopes with additional snowdrifts higher up, however, as your snow cave could be buried in an avalanche.
- Pack the snow firmly. Pack the snow pile or snowdrift by stomping on it with snowshoes or laying a plywood board over it and stomping on that. If the snow is light and powdery, you may wish to pack it down several times as you create the snow pile, in addition to a final pack when the pile is tall enough.
- Allow two or more hours for the cold air to harden your snow pile. This makes the snow firmer and will reduce the risk of the cave from collapsing in on you while you dig it out. Waiting at least two hours is recommended, and you may need to wait up to 24 hours if the snow is powdery and dry.[4]
- Dig a tunnel into the snow. If you made a snow pile, dig a tunnel easily wide enough to crawl through and several feet deep, sloping upward. If you are digging into a deep snowdrift, dig a trench 5 or more feet down for you to stand in, then dig a tunnel at the base of the trench.[5] You may find this easier if you have a compact snow shovel, available at backpacking or mountaineering stores.
- If you are building a snow cave for fun and don't mind taking extra time, you can avoid some discomfort by digging a "doorway" several feet tall instead of a tunnel. Once you've completed the snow cave, wall up most of the doorway with additional snow, leaving a tunnel to exit through.[6]
- Stick ski poles or branches into the snow pile as a guideline. Stick these objects about 12–18 inches (30–46cm) into the snow pile. While digging out the snow cave from the inside, stop when you encounter these objects.[7] Without this guideline, you may accidentally dig the ceiling too thin and expose your snow cave to the elements, or even cause a collapse.
- Hollow out the dome of the cave. Shovel snow from the center of the pile or snowdrift out through your tunnel. Once you've hollowed out enough room for your whole body at the end of the tunnel, you can stay there and use your feet to push the snow through the tunnel.[8]Make sure the ceiling of the snow cave remains at least 1 foot (0.3m) thick to minimize the chance of collapse. The sides should be several inches (8 or more cm) thicker than the ceiling.[9]
- Try to make the floor of the cave higher than the entrance. This will keep the sleeping area warm as the cold air gathers in the entrance tunnel.
EditFinishing the Cave - In freezing temperatures, strengthen the cave by pouring water over the outside. If the temperature is below freezing and you have water to spare, pour water over the outside of the cave. This will freeze into ice and create a sturdier structure.
- Never pour water over the cave if the temperature is above freezing.
- Smooth the inside roof and walls to prevent dripping. Scrape the walls and roof of the cave to make it smooth. Irregular, bumpy surfaces will drip water onto the cave floor, instead of directing water down the walls to gather around the edges.
- If dripping is still a problem, carve grooves leading down the walls.
- Mark the outside of the cave. Use brightly colored gear or conspicuously placed branches to mark the edge of your cave. This may help people find the cave again, and stop them from walking on the roof and causing a collapse.
- If you are in an emergency situation awaiting rescue, make sure the gear is visible from the air, not hidden underneath trees or other obstructions.
- Carve in benches and sleeping areas as needed. The higher the benches/sleeping platforms are, the better, as cold air will sink below the bench keeping you warmer. You may wish to create shelves for easier gear storage, and a trench to make sitting or standing easier.
- Create ventilation holes. Snow caves can become quite insulated from the outside air, especially if moisture from your breath creates an icy layer on the inside wall. To prevent suffocation, use a ski pole or other long object to create an angled hole or two at the slanting edge of the roof. Make sure this hole goes all the way through the roof.
- Because ventilation holes will cause some warm air to escape, you may wish to cover the hole with a snowball or other object, then remove it if the air feels stuffy or anyone feels dizzy. Remove the object before you go to sleep.
- Cover the ground with insulating material. Gather pine branches to place on the floor of the cave, to slow the escape of warmth through the ground. Sleep on camping pads, but be aware that inflatable pads may not keep you warm in cold weather.
- Move your shovels inside. While staying in the cave, always make sure you have shovels inside with you so you can dig yourself out in case of collapse or a blocked entrance. Shovel the entrance out regularly during a blizzard.
- If too much warm air is escaping through the entrance, block it with a backpack or other easily removed object. Do not wall yourself up.This will also help you hide from animals such as mountain lions and bears.
- If the snow is not easy to pack and you have a large group, several smaller caves may be faster to create than one large cave.
- If water from melting snow is dripping, compact it with more snow.
- The roof can collapse at any time, so make sure you have an escape plan.
- If you plan to sleep several days in your snow cave, make sure to scrape an inch or two of melted snow off of the walls after each night. This keeps the snow porous and lets moisture escape to the outside instead of gathering inside the cave and soaking the people inside.
- Building a snow cave is hard work. Be sure to have others to help share the load and have one person in charge of preparing energy-rich, hot food to supply the working team with.
- Always leave the entrance uncovered if you have a candle or other flame. Even using a small cooking stove or candle can be lethal, as it can lead to a buildup of carbon monoxide. Carbon monoxide is only slightly lighter than air, and small ceiling air holes may not be enough to vent the gas.[10]
- Building a fire or running a stove inside is not recommended, as it uses up oxygen and produces dangerous gas. It can also cause the snow to melt, then freeze into a layer of ice. This traps moisture in the cave, soaking the inhabitants.[11]
EditThings You'll Need - Snow (Best if easy to mold and shape)
- Large snow shovel
- Hand shovel or trowel
- One or more assistants
- Ice axe/pick (optional)
EditRelated wikiHows EditSources and Citations - How to Build an Igloo -- and Other Show Shelters, by Norbert E. Yankielun, W.W. Norton and Co.. New York, 2007.
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