Friday, June 16, 2017

How to of the Day

How to of the Day


How to Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex

Posted: 16 Jun 2017 05:00 PM PDT

Anyone in the world, big or small, fat or thin, black or white, can feel somewhat inferior to everyone else at times during their lives. We tell ourselves that we aren't good enough, pretty enough or smart enough, but these comments are in no way based on facts. Luckily, there are lots of simple steps you can take to overcome an inferiority complex.

EditSteps

EditConfronting Your Feelings

  1. Try to find the cause of your feelings. Inferiority complexes may come from something in your past. To help you move past it, you need to determine the root of your feelings. It may be a bad childhood experience, a traumatic event, or a combination of people putting you down over the years.
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 1 Version 2.jpg
    • Reflect on your past. Try to remember experiences that could have caused the inferiority complex. Some of these might be buried deep because of how painful they are.[1]
  2. Determine who you feel inferior to. If you have an inferiority complex, then you feel inferior to someone else. Ask yourself who you feel inferior to. Try to be as specific as possible, or start broad and narrow it down.
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 2 Version 2.jpg
    • Do you feel inferior to attractive people? People with more money? Smarter people? Successful people? Try to go from one of those to a specific name of someone in your life.
    • When you figure that out, ask yourself how those people or that person isn't superior to you. Can he play the piano like you? Does he have your work ethic? Your caring attitude? Your family values?[2]
  3. Break down your complex. One way to start dealing with the complex is to break it down. Start with characteristics that you feel inferior about. Look at them logically, not emotionally. Are your perceived flaws that bad? If the answer is still yes, remember that everyone has traits they would like to improve. What you see as a flaw may not seem like on to someone else. No one may notice your large chin although it's all you ever think about. You may think your baldness is a flaw, while some people find bald men sexy.
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 3 Version 2.jpg
    • Your perceived flaws do not control you. Even if you have a large chin, are overweight, or are bald, that doesn't define you. That's one small part of you. It only controls and defines you if you let it.[3]
  4. Understand that we're all inferior in some ways. Everyone on earth is inferior to someone in some way. There isn't one person who has everything. Although someone may be the most beautiful and rich person, there will be someone with more intelligence or more compassion. On the flip side, everyone is superior to others in some way. Everyone is a different combination of positive attributes and flaws. Understanding this concept can help you start to view yourself more realistically.
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 4 Version 2.jpg
    • Since everyone has flaws, this is not a reason for a complex. The over-exaggeration of your flaw and the self-consciousness you develop because of it causes the feelings of inferiority. The inferiority is made up and in your head.[4]

EditChanging The Way You Think

  1. Stop wanting to be like others. Inferiority complexes are rooted in the desire to be just like someone else. They make you want to be someone you're not. If you try to be someone else, you aren't being true to yourself. This doesn't include limiting yourself and trying new things. Just don't try to be someone else. Be you.
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 5 Version 2.jpg
    • You can get inspired by people. That means you look up to them and take some of their traits and put them into yourself. But the important difference is you are still you. You aren't trying to copy someone else or be someone else. You are using them as a positive guide while still being true to yourself.[5]
  2. Try not to worry about what others think. Inferiority complexes arise from our constant concern about what others think about us. We oftentimes find problems with ourselves based on if others find us good enough. This isn't healthy thinking. Stop worrying so much about what others think about you. Only your opinion matters.[6]
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 6 Version 2.jpg
    • Sometimes these judgments are real, but many times they are imaginary. Focus on making yourself happy without worrying about what others think. And try not to make up people's judgments.
  3. Focus on your positive attributes. When you feel inferior, you put more emphasis on what you don't have instead of what you do have. Everyone has positive qualities. Take an honest look at yourself and your life. Make a list of good things. It could be something like, "I have a good job with lots of room to grow" or "I have nice teeth." When you're done, think about how many good things you have going for you. It might not make you better than someone else, but you don't have to be better. You just have to be happy being you and be thankful for what you have.[7]
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 7.jpg
    • Include things from all facets of your life. Maybe you think you're overweight, but you have nice legs, nice feet, or nice hands. Maybe you have a great family, smart children, a good education, drive a nice car, or can crochet well. There are a lot of things that make us up. Try to find the positive things and focus on that.
  4. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. People with inferiority complexes spend too much time comparing themselves to everyone around them. If you do this, you will come up with a never ending list of ways people are better than you. You can't compare yourself to someone else, because everything about your life and circumstances are different - from the family you were born in, to your genetics, to your opportunities.[8]
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 8.jpg
  5. Don't think in absolutes. Inferiority complexes make us think that if one thing could change, our lives would be great. We might think, "If only I was 20 pounds smaller, my life would be great" or "If only I had a better job, I'd be happier." If you achieve these things, they will only provide temporary happiness, because deep down you will still be insecure. Material and superficial things, which many inferiority complexes thrive on, won't magically fix the problem. Try to retrain your thinking from "If only...then I'd be happy." It can lead to more disappointment when it doesn't make you happy.[9]
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 9.jpg
    • Focusing on the strengths, values, and positive assets you posses now is much more fulfilling. Learning to accept these things can help you move towards a happier life.
  6. Stop negative talk. Every day, you reinforce your inferiority complex by speaking negatively about yourself. When you say things like, "He doesn't like me because I'm ugly" or "I won't get this job because I'm not smart enough," you are bringing yourself down and writing more negative, untrue beliefs onto your brain. When you find yourself saying something negative, stop it and say something positive instead.[10]
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 10.jpg
    • You don't have to lie to yourself and say, "He will love me because I'm the most beautiful." Instead, speak about yourself in positive, realistic terms. "I am attractive/worthy of someone's affections. I am a kind, generous person who people want to be friends with."
  7. Build self-confidence. As you work through your inferiority complex, you need to start building self-confidence. Start by fixing your mental image of yourself. Inferiority complexes are based on false ideas about ourselves. Try to remind yourself that this image is false and doesn't portray the reality.
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 11.jpg
    • Remove labels you have attached to yourself. Don't think of yourself as stupid, ugly, unsuccessful, a failure, or anything else. Refuse to use them when you think about yourself.[11]

EditMaking Positive Steps

  1. Don't limit your social interactions. Inferiority complexes can result in you becoming withdrawn, anti-social, and shy. People with these complexes sometimes fear exposing themselves and opening up. You need to push yourself to interact with people. These feelings of inferiority are in your mind. The more you socialize with other people, the more you'll understand that people aren't judging you, making fun of you, or putting you down. You can learn to be comfortable and confident around people.[12]
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 12.jpg
  2. Surround yourself with positive people. The people we associate with can have a significant impact on our self-esteem. If you spend your time with negative people who are constantly criticizing, analyzing, and judging others, it will start to affect you. Instead, spend your time with people who are positive. Look for people who accept and like people without judgment. Surrounding yourself with people who don't judge you can help you accept yourself.[13]
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 13.jpg
    • Although your confidence should come from yourself, it is helpful to be friends with people who accept you. This helps break down the false notion that everyone judges and criticizes you.
  3. Continue working on yourself. One way to beat the feelings of inferiority is to continuously improve yourself. This can include anything. Work on developing work-related skills, try a new hobby, work on improving a current hobby, set an exercise goal, or start saving for that dream vacation. Work on making your life better and worthwhile. This will help lessen your feelings of inferiority, because it's hard to feel inferior when you're accomplishing your goals.[14]
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 14.jpg
  4. Volunteer. One way to help you get a reality check is to get out and help other people and your community. Whether you are helping at a soup kitchen or an animal hospital, this can help you see the reality of your situation. You don't have it as bad as you think you do.
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 15.jpg
    • Volunteering can help give you a sense of accomplishment and pride. This can help you feel less inferior because you are giving back to your community. It also helps you stop feeling low and feeling like a burden.[15]
  5. Confront your biggest fears. Do you think people will stare at you or make comments? These are all valid worries but do bear in mind - everyone is different. Any comments you receive are invalid and must be ignored at all costs. It's absolutely certain there is something they think is wrong with them, too.
    Get Rid of an Inferiority Complex Step 16.jpg

EditVideo

EditTips

  • Never listen to anyone who puts you down.
  • Believe in yourself; you are special.
  • Never refer to your differences as inferiorities.
  • Concentrate on your strong and positive qualities.
  • You're special, love yourself. Every single person enter into this world is wonderful in his or her own way.
  • Remember, you are not alone—or that different.

EditRelated wikiHows

EditSources and Citations


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How to Adapt to Spicy Food

Posted: 16 Jun 2017 09:00 AM PDT

Spicy food is enjoyed the world over. In some countries, spicy foods are even fed to the very young to help acclimate their taste buds to the delicious heat. Eating spicy foods will open up a whole new world of culinary delights to those who dare to venture, but for those who haven't eaten many spicy foods, work is required to handle the hotter stuff. Follow a few simple guidelines to acclimate to the spicier food of the world.

EditSteps

EditAdjusting Your Eating Habits

  1. Start small. Begin eating foods that are only slightly spicier than what you are currently accustomed. For example, add more black pepper to your meal than you normally would, or garnish something with a few sprinklings of red pepper flakes.[1]
    Adapt to Spicy Food Step 1.jpg
    • There are hot varieties of candies and other small snacks that can help inject a regular helping of heat into your day. Check your local Latin market for a good selection of spicy candies.[2]
  2. Eat slowly. Devouring an entire plate of peppers at once will not do you any favors when trying to acclimate to spicier foods. Doing so will more likely turn you off of spicy food altogether. Instead, add just a bit of spice to each meal over a long period of time. Savor the spice to get the full experience of the heat.[3]
    Adapt to Spicy Food Step 2.jpg
    • Be patient. Don't get discouraged if your palate doesn't seem to be adjusting to the heat. It can take anywhere from a few weeks to months to get accustomed to the new level of spice.[4]
  3. Learn the types of heat available. Not all types of heat in food are the same. The heat found in dishes with hot peppers are a much different experience than dishes that are heavy in garlic or wasabi. Education will help you branch out into hotter foods that are appropriate for your level of tolerance.
    Adapt to Spicy Food Step 3.jpg
    • Some foods, such as garlic and radishes, have a natural spiciness to them that don't stem from the heat-causing agents of chili peppers. These can be a great gateway into spicier foods, without necessarily packing the physical sensations that dishes featuring hotter substances possess. If you are just starting out, you might start with these foods, as they cannot physically damage your mouth with their oils.[5]
    • When cooking with peppers, look into each pepper's heat index rating (referred to as the Scoville Scale). Measure which peppers you can handle as a baseline, and move up from there. Go for broke! [6]
  4. Gradually increase the amount of spice in your food. As you adjust to the level of heat you can tolerate, increase the heat level of your meals. As you do so, you will open up a wide range of food options you might never have considered trying. You can achieve this in a variety of ways.
    Adapt to Spicy Food Step 4.jpg
    • Increase the quantity of the spicy food you are eating. Eating larger quantities of spicy food at a faster rate increases the reaction your body will produce to the heat.
    • Add a hotter variety of the type of spice you enjoy. Many spicy foods come in a variety of heat levels, including chili peppers, onions and mustard.
    • Add foods that provide a different kind of heat. Mustard, horseradish and wasabi, for example, produce a shorter heat located in the nasal passages, rather than the mouth.[7]
    • Cut back on the bread and milk. Rather than fight the heat, allow it to work its course! The goal is to build your tolerance.
  5. Study up on different cuisine. Many different types of cuisine throughout the world utilize a few staple spices in their dishes. Become familiar with the go-to spices of each regional cuisine to prepare yourself for a particular level of heat.
    Adapt to Spicy Food Step 5.jpg
    • Indian cuisine, for example, often employs a few specific peppers in a spice mixture called a masala. Most common in these masalas is the green finger chile. Chefs will often adjust the spice mixture of the masala, so ask ahead to gauge the spiciness featured in the masala.
    • Ethiopian food often contains a spice mixture called "berbere," which features not only red chili peppers, but ginger, garlic and cloves. This mix of heat can create a much different (and hotter) experience than a dish featuring only capsaicin-based spices.[8]

EditSupplementing Your Food Choices

  1. Eat foods that help absorb heat. During your quest to improve your tolerance, keep a selection of foods nearby that absorb the oils that create the spicy sensation. These side dishes can help lower the overall heat experienced with the food while still helping your taste buds acclimate.
    Adapt to Spicy Food Step 6.jpg
    • Starchy foods, including bread, crackers or potatoes, are a few examples of foods that can absorb capsaicin, the oil that causes the heat in spicy foods.[9]
  2. Eat dishes that mix heat with other flavors. A particularly hot spice or pepper can be diluted into a more tolerable state by mixing it into a dish with other strong flavors. Lime and cilantro, for example, both have cooling effects and can help counteract the spice. Medleys featuring a mix of vegetables or meat can also help dilute the spice.[10]
    Adapt to Spicy Food Step 7.jpg
    • Sugar also helps dilute the heat associated with spicy foods. A spicy dish with a little sweet on the side will help create a well-rounded dish.[11]
  3. Keep a glass of milk nearby. Milk is a classic reliever of heat thanks to a compound called "casein" that binds with capsaicin and washes it away. If you are entering new territory in terms of heat, or simply need occasional relief in between bites, take a few sips of milk.[12]
    Adapt to Spicy Food Step 8.jpg
    • Dairy, such as yogurt or sour cream, works similarly to milk when it comes to relieving heat, and can make for a great side item in many spicy dishes.


EditTips

  • Take note that the spiciest parts of hot peppers is their veins and the juices they give off. The actual flesh of the pepper is not very spicy.
  • Ice water is helpful for temporary relief, but will not actually wash away the capsaicin oils associated with the heat. [13]

EditWarnings

  • Do not allow any juice to get on your lips, eyes, or anything else sensitive as the burn can last at least 15 minutes.
  • When headed to the bathroom, be sure to wash your hands after handling peppers.
  • If you will be handling large quantities of hot peppers that will be cut or sliced open, such as when making JalapeƱo poppers, be sure to wear latex or rubber gloves. The active ingredient in hot peppers can permeate through the skin and cause a severe burning sensation.
  • If you fall attached to spicy foods, you may find yourself buying a lot more food, as peppers or hot sauces can get rather expensive over time. Watch your budget.
  • Overeating spicy foods can numb your taste buds, disabling your sense of taste for a while.
  • If you have any health issues and are concerned whether spicy food could affect them, consult your physician before consuming these types of food.[14]

EditRelated wikiHows

EditSources and Citations

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How to Excel in Life

Posted: 16 Jun 2017 01:00 AM PDT

Everyone's idea of excelling at life is different. You are an individual person with a unique set of life experiences. These experiences have influenced your ideas about yourself, your goals, the world, and your definition of success. Excelling at life doesn't always mean that your life will be a smoothly running machine where you've overcome every failure and achieved all of your dreams. Be realistic about what excelling at life means to you. Make creative, flexible goals, and develop a hardy sense of self-worth and confidence. It's also important to understand that success means doing your best.

EditSteps

EditDetermining How You'd Like to Excel

  1. Make a list of your ideals and values. Think about the ideals, values, and moral attributes that are important to you. These might include being a good friend or being healthy. Values and ideals are the ideas about life that you think you need to excel. They are different from goals in that goals are more concrete actions that can be completed.[1]
    Excel in Life Step 1 Version 3.jpg
  2. Make a list of all the ways you can excel in life. The first step is to figure out what excelling at life means to you, as well as for your values and the kind of life you want to have. It may take time to sort through all of these questions and to decide what excelling at life truly means for you. Try to create the broadest possible definition of excelling in life: short-term, long-term, big dreams and small successes.
    Excel in Life Step 2 Version 3.jpg
    • Get a journal or notebook that you dedicate solely to your new vision of your life and how you want to see yourself succeed. Start by making a list of all the ways you could excel at life, whether they are realistic or not. Write down your highest aspirations all the way down to simple things like doing the dishes every day.
    • You may find that your definition of excelling at life can start with making small changes every day, whether it has to do with your personal health, finances, career goals, family, romance, personality traits such as being more kind, or nurturing your friendships. [2]
  3. Make a list of your goals. Look at your list of the ways you can excel. Then look at your list of values and ideals. Begin to figure out how they match up. Which goals accentuate your views about life and the kind of person you want to be?[3] Start to group the ways you want to excel into similar categories, such as career goals, hobby goals, health goals, family and friendship goals.
    Excel in Life Step 3 Version 3.jpg
    • Then group these into long-term and short-term goals. You might have a health goal of being able to weight-lift 300 pounds, or you might have a career goal of becoming a journalist, or you might want to wash the dishes every night.
  4. Prioritize your goals. Now that you have started to get clear on what excelling means for you, start prioritizing your goals. Which ones are long-term goals that will make you feel like you are excelling at life? Which goals can you practice on a daily basis in order to feel like you are living your life in a positive direction?
    Excel in Life Step 4 Version 3.jpg
    • Excelling at life can be as simple as interacting with people with kindness, being a more organized person, investigating bigger life changes like a career change, or making an effort to spend more time with your family and friends.
    • The most important part of defining what excelling at life is for you is that it resonates with who you are as an authentic person and what kind of life you want to live.[4]
  5. Find role models. Your journal will become your personal source for focus and inspiration. Perhaps you have people in your life who inspire you because of their attitudes, strength, and perseverance. Find a picture of them or something that reminds you of them, and paste it in your journal. Use your role models to inspire you and remind you of what you aspire to be.
    Excel in Life Step 5 Version 2.jpg
    • You can also consider famous people, such as musicians or athletes, who inspire you because of their life, their actions, or that you can look up to and admire. For example, the Dalai Lama has been a symbol of peace for decades, even under great adversity. You don't have to become the Dalai Lama to remind yourself of his strength and attitude. This reminder can help you stay focused on the kind of person you want to be and the life you want to live. Think of these people as inspirational tools.

EditPursuing Your Goals

  1. Be flexible with your goals. Let your idea of excelling at life evolve as you do. Shaping your life into an experience you feel is excellent may take some trial and error. You may think you want to achieve something, such as a high-powered career as an attorney who works 80 hours a week. But what happens when you decide you want to have a family? You might find that as your values change, your goals will change to reflect those values.
    Excel in Life Step 6.jpg
    • For example, maybe you wanted to be a veterinarian. But once you investigated the schooling and medical skills required, you discovered that you don't really want to work with animals in that way. Using your journal, start to explore other careers that involve working with animals. Maybe you want to make natural pet treats, work at a human society, be a dog trainer, or foster animals in your home. Learning how to excel at life means getting to know yourself in a very authentic way and being flexible in achieving your goals. [5]
  2. Periodically reassess your plan. Don't limit yourself in making changes that you feel will match your definition of excellence in life. However, one of the biggest factors of success in living a fulfilling life is resilience.
    Excel in Life Step 7.jpg
    • Maybe you want to plan a movie night for your family, but no one can agree on a movie, or family members make other plans. Basically, your goal for that day did not work out. Maybe your plan can be adjusted to asking people in your family what they would like to do to spend more time with you. Maybe you need to organize individual time with everyone instead of planning group activities. Don't give up on your goals. Instead, reinvent, redesign, and always go back to the drawing board. Be resilient and stay focused on your goal to spend more quality time with your family. [6]
  3. Don't underestimate the little things. Make a list of small things you can excel in every day. This will help you feel like you're moving towards excellence. Excelling at life comes down to appreciating yourself enough to know you deserve a fulfilling life. Besides career, money, family, there is also YOU!
    Excel in Life Step 8.jpg
    • Excelling at life could mean trying to laugh more, trying to be kinder in your everyday interactions, starting a realistic workout regimen, eating better, or taking lessons like painting, golf, or dancing. When you engage in a life that feels authentic to you, you are excelling at life. It can be that simple.[7]
  4. Continue to build your list of ways to excel. Using your journal, keep building your list of ways to excel in life. Life is a journey and there is always more to explore. As you continue to evolve and your ideas of what excelling at life continue to evolve, be flexible and listen to your intuition. Educate yourself about the goals you are striving for and don't be afraid to switch directions if you have new ideas or thoughts. [8]
    Excel in Life Step 9.jpg
  5. Post reminders of your goals. Remind yourself of where you want to be and the attitudes you want to encompass. Make posters or reminders that you hang in your office or home.
    Excel in Life Step 10.jpg
    • Start a collection of motivational quotes on index cards that you keep with you. Collect quotes from the internet, books, movies, or your friends. This can come in handy if you feel discouraged or frustrated. For example, the quote, "Courage is the rarest of talents," can help you remember that living a fulfilling life can be hard but is very brave.

EditBuilding Confidence and Self-Worth

  1. Write down your positive qualities. In order to excel at life, you have to want to excel at life. You will have to develop discipline, perseverance, resilience, and drive. The easiest road to developing these qualities is learning to value yourself for your abilities, courage, worth, and valuing your existence [9] Engage in positive self-talk by writing down all the positive qualities you can think of about yourself. Add to this list as much as you can.
    Excel in Life Step 11.jpg
    • Read this list every morning when you start your day. You are the agent in creating your life, so if you are going to be mentally and emotionally prepared to strive to excel in your life, you need to nurture your self-confidence to the point that you believe in yourself. Celebrate yourself for even wanting to create an excellent life. [10]
  2. Reframe negative themes in your life. You may have received negative messages in the past from your childhood, your social experiences, or the society you live in. Those messages can be much more ingrained than you think.
    Excel in Life Step 12.jpg
    • Write down every negative thing you have ever been told, or that you think about yourself. Take some time to look at that list and start reframing negative themes that there may be in your life. For example, everyone has made mistakes in their life. Are you still holding on to guilt and shame about these mistakes? Did someone tell you that you were stupid or worthless while you were growing up? Do you still somehow hold on to that message and let it hinder you?
    • In order to excel at life, you must begin to shed those negative messages and replacing them with positive ones. An easy example of this that most people engage in is negative self-talk. Say you dropped your keys on accident. What are the first thoughts in your head? Perhaps you think, "I'm so stupid, I can't even hold on to keys." If you pay attention, you may find you speak very harshly to yourself throughout the day. In striving to excel, you are the coach, the team, and the star player. You have to start treating yourself as someone who deserves the excellent life you are building. [11]
  3. Empower yourself. A major factor in creating lasting, positive change in your life is that you have to see yourself as someone who can create change. Take responsibility for who you are, what you do, and what you choose. Embrace the power of choice in your life, and understand that every day you are making choices.
    Excel in Life Step 13.jpg
    • Remove the word "can't" from your vocabulary. "Can't" is a word that stops creativity and makes you feel stuck in your situation. But the word is usually a replacement for a real meaning. For example, you might say, "I can't speak French." What you really mean to say is: "I don't know how to speak French." When you say "can't," there is an assumption that there is no solution. If you say that you don't know how to do something, then you recognize that you have agency in a situation to change how you act or think.[12]
    • For example, yes, you get up and go to work every day….but do you HAVE to? Absolutely not. You could choose to stay in bed and lose your job. Choices have consequences, but it is very important to shift the focus from things you feel you are bound by to understanding the power of choice you have in your life. Will you choose to go to work? Yes, because you don't want the consequences of losing your job. It's still a choice. You are an agent of change, and you make choices every day. Empower yourself by fully embracing the power of choice that you have. [13]
  4. Keep a positive perspective. Is the glass half empty or half full? Or is it just a glass with some water in it? Creating a life where you feel you are excelling depends heavily on your perspective. Along with creativity, resilience, and determination, your perspective on life and reality goes a long way in determining feeling as though you are striving for mastery of your life.
    Excel in Life Step 14.jpg
    • Write down some examples of things that recently disappointed you and then write down how you felt about it. For example, maybe your small cupcake business isn't doing so well. Does that mean defeat to you? Does that mean that life is working against you so that you never will be happy? Take a look at the statements you have written down. Perhaps they are black and white statements like: "I will never get what I want. Nothing ever goes my way."
    • Try reframing these statements and internalizing a new perspective. For example, instead of taking the perspective that you have failed, try to reframe that thought. Tell yourself, "Okay, there must be another way to do business, something else I can try, a different way to market, or maybe I need to explore a different business model."
    • Try to notice if you shut yourself down without giving a new perspective a chance. In order to excel at life, you have to view life as something that you want and will excel at with endless possibilities and a healthy desire to strive to explore those possibilities. [14]
  5. Remind yourself that you're doing your best. It is important to remember to be kind and easy on yourself. In order to create resiliency, self-esteem, and self-worth, you must be okay with things not working out. To keep the flame of determination as you work towards excelling at your life, you must keep yourself in a healthy mind space of doing your best according to the circumstances. [15]
    Excel in Life Step 15.jpg
    • Always doing your best regardless of outcome also will reduce your stress and keep the focus on things that you can control. This will help you empower yourself, strengthen your sense of agency, and let go of stresses over things outside of your control. You did your best, and that is excelling.[16]
    • Let's say that your cupcake business just isn't a feasible business venture. If you explored all your options, enacted creative changes, and truly gave your all in making the cupcakes sell, you have done your best. Although you may perceive your cupcake business a failure, you did your best, and that is a success. You got practice using all of your skills and brilliance and that is a success. You tried something different. That is a success.[17]
    • Knowing you did your best and focusing on that as excelling instead of the outcome will help you keep trying new things and striving for the life you want. [18]
  6. Appreciate your circumstances. Doing your best will be different for everyone depending on the day, circumstances and context. If you were sick and didn't execute a project to your expectations, take into consideration that you were sick. You did the project anyway, and under the circumstances of being sick, you did your best. That's all you can do, and doing your best is always reason to feel good about yourself.
    Excel in Life Step 16.jpg
  7. Keep a daily log of what you did best. In your journal, start making daily logs of ways that you did your best that day. Maybe you had a difficult day at work where you felt misunderstood or blamed for something that went wrong. It's easy to feel shame and embarrassed, but instead honestly ask yourself, did I do my best? Journal about ways you did do your best and ways you could have done things differently.
    Excel in Life Step 17.jpg

EditFinding Support

  1. Surround yourself with positive people. These are friends and family members who will encourage you and support you. You may have to take some stock in your personal relationships and make decisions about the people in your life and whether or not they hold you up or pull you down. Honor yourself. Part of honoring yourself is honoring that you deserve to be around healthy, supportive people. Excelling at life is a pretty hefty goal, and it involves every aspect of your interactions.
    Excel in Life Step 18.jpg
  2. Nurture relationships with the people who are important to you. Part of excelling in your life is having thriving relationships that are mutually supportive. Think about how you be a better friend, partner, or parent. Think about why you truly value the people in your life who love and support you.
    Excel in Life Step 19.jpg
    • It can help to write down your thoughts about these people. Write about the help you have received from people in your life. Include how you want to best help and support them. This can help you recognize concrete ways that you can strengthen your relationships.
  3. Contribute to your community. Becoming a well-rounded, grounded and aware person who excels in life also means becoming involved in your community. Tune in to your empathy and compassion. Learn how to show these qualities to others. This will not only make a difference for someone who needs help, but can also benefit you, your sense of yourself, and your sense of the world. It will also help you feel proactive and empowered.
    Excel in Life Step 20.jpg
    • Think about areas of service you think you might be interested in. You could volunteer at a homeless shelter, soup kitchen, after school program, the humane society or animal rescue. If you'd rather volunteer other skills, you could try offering your skills in web design, accounting, or tax help to nonprofit organizations. There are many ways to give back while building a life and personhood you can feel proud of.

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