| How to Reduce Political Polarization in Your Own Life Posted: 22 Jun 2017 05:00 PM PDT Political polarization is at an all-time high in the United States. It seems like just about everyone is picking a side, and rejecting anyone else who isn't on the same page. This separation can affect meaningful relationships and place a wedge between you and those you love. You don't have to live with this polarization, however, if you respect other opinions, stay away from the media, and educate yourself on politics. EditRespecting Other Opinions - Avoid assuming the other side is "wrong." When you characterize yourself as one political party, it's difficult not to think that the other party is wrong. However, when you're trying to remove political polarization from your life, it's important to remember that the other side has merits as well.
- You likely have a loved one who belongs to the other party, and if you respect that person, you should know they have a reason for choosing the side they are on.[1]
- Attempt to see the other side's point of view. Just as you have reasons for why you belong to the political party you do, so do other people. Consider people's backgrounds, religious beliefs, and cultures when attempting to see why they belong to the party they do. Removing polarization from your life is all about accepting other people and their beliefs.
- If you know someone who has different political views, respectfully ask why they believe what they do. You could say, "I respect you and your beliefs and am curious why you have the political beliefs that you do. I want to learn about the other side of the political party." This isn't the time to argue or confront them on their views. Simply sit back and listen.[2]
- Agree to disagree on politics. You'll need to decide what is more important to you when you have people in your life who don't hold your political beliefs: changing their minds or keeping the relationship. If you want to maintain the connection you have, you may just need to agree to disagree on the subject. This could mean avoiding talking about politics at all.
- If your loved one attempts to engage you in a political conversation in which you know conflict could occur, you could say, "Out of respect to you and our relationship, I don't think we should talk about politics. We have different beliefs and points of view and it seems that we argue when we discuss them. I want to continue having a good relationship with you and I think talking about politics threatens that." They may be upset at first, but they will likely understand over time.[3]
EditUsing the Media Wisely - Watch the news with caution. The media is infamous for playing political sides. In fact, certain major news stations are known for being either more conservative or more liberal. Avoid watching them, as doing so can increase the amount of polarization you experience.
- For example, Fox News is known for being conservative, whereas CNN leans more towards the liberal side. To be sure you're getting information straight from the source, count on watching interviews that allow politicians to express their views.[4]
- To avoid developing polarizing views, try not to lean one way or the other, but spend time watching liberal, conservative, or third-party content with an open mind. Also, be sure to verify the information you receive from other reputable sources.
- Keep in mind that each political party has their own echo chamber of information. Be aware that there are two sides to the story and be cautious about what you believe. Try to find multiple perspectives on an issue before making up your mind.
- Reduce time spent on social media. People tend to surround themselves with those who share their political beliefs. As such, you may notice that the people you are friends with on social media have similar political stances. Stay away from, or reduce the amount of time you spend on social media sites to avoid seeing polarizing posts.
- If you can't break free of social media, use a filter tool to limit what you see. For instance, on Facebook, you can hide your friends' posts without actually unfriending them.[5]
- When things get tense, simply log out of your social media platforms for self-care. Do this if you feel like others' viewpoints are too upsetting or biased.
- Be judicious in your web-browsing. The beauty of the Internet is that it gives people a place to express their views. This is also a double-edged sword because it is the perfect arena to create political polarization. You may inadvertently visit a person's blog in which they freely discuss their own views, which can add to the feeling of separation you are experiencing.
- If you must visit a news or political site, attempt to find one that isn't biased. For instance, independent reporters or news sites are more likely to be unbiased than those that are ran by big companies.[6]
- If you want to reduce political polarization, look for impartial, fact-based sources like FactCheck.org or Project Vote Smart.[7]
EditEducating Yourself About Different Political Parties - Talk to someone you trust. Have a conversation about the different political parties and their beliefs with someone who you trust. To get an unbiased opinion, speak with someone you don't believe will try to sway you either way.
- To get the conversation started, you could say, "I really respect your knowledge of politics and would like to learn more about the political parties from you. I think you could tell me in an unbiased manner, which is what I'm looking for."
- If they aren't willing to talk about it with you, graciously accept their decision and avoid bringing it up again.[8]
- Take a course about politics. Check with your local college to see what political courses are offered. These classes are a great resource to learn about political beliefs in an unbiased manner. Your library, senior or community center, or church may also offer these types of courses.
- You may also be able to take online courses or find a tutorial about politics. Doing it this way may give you more flexibility and allows you to learn in privacy.[9]
- Read. Finding unbiased books about politics may be a little difficult, but not entirely impossible. Scholarly books typically offer a fair point of view from both sides, which you can typically purchase online or at college bookstores.
- You may also be able to check with your area high schools to see if they have any extra books they can spare or you can purchase. Additionally, a few apps are available that keep you updated with current events, and teach you about politics at the same time.
- Look for books that aren't endorsed or written by members of any specific political party. Educating yourself on the facts of all political sides may help to reduce the amount of political polarization in your life.[10]
- Learn about political parties from the past and in other countries. Learning more about how political parties operate and use propaganda may help you to gain a broader perspective on politics in general and have a more objective viewpoint on your own political system. For example, in some countries, there are multiple parties rather than the two party system in the US. Political parties also change over time.
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Stop Giving Unsolicited Advice Posted: 22 Jun 2017 09:00 AM PDT It is tempting to offer unsolicited advice. Knowledge and solutions take a long time to learn. However, unsolicited advice typically inspires a defensive reaction, since people need to maintain their autonomy in life and decision-making. Unless specifically asked, it is usually better to keep your advice to yourself. Instead, focus on modeling the behaviors you want to see in the world and reflect on the reasons for wanting to share your advice.[1] EditEvaluating Your Intentions - Understand the difference between having an opinion and being opinionated. While you may sometimes think that you are innocently expressing your opinion, understand that other people might take it as forceful or judgmental advice. It can be helpful to know the difference between expressing an opinion and being too opinionated so that you can avoid these situations.
- An opinion is merely a belief or idea that is based on preference instead of hard fact. An example of an opinion is "I'm not a fan of that television show. I don't think it is very funny."
- An opinionated person is very rigid about their opinions. Instead of expressing their preferences, they state their personal opinions as facts. They often do not allow others to express dissimilar opinions or ideas. They might become critical or judgmental. For example, an opinionated person might say, "That TV show is so stupid. I can't imagine why anyone would want to watch it. The humor is so dumb. It must only appeal to a caveman."
- Determine whether you are coming from a place of altruism. Think about whether you want to help the person you have a desire to offer unsolicited advice. Although your motivation may be well intentioned, you should know that even advice coming from an altruistic place usually backfires. If you offer unsolicited advice for altruistic reasons, people may become defensive in order to maintain their personal freedom and life choices.[2]
- For example, you may be worried about the health of a friend who smokes cigarettes. If you start offering them unsolicited advice about how to stop smoking, they may get defensive of their lifestyle. It won't help that your advice is coming from a good place, since you are failing to respect their lifestyle and personal choices.
- Keep your cool if you want to give advice out of excitement. If you are really excited about a new life hack or solution to something in your life, you may have a desire to share it with others. However, you should keep in mind that your friends, colleagues and family members may need to come up with their own solutions to life problems. It is probably better to keep your advice to yourself, unless they ask for it explicitly.[3]
- Stop yourself from giving advice if you are annoyed. It can be annoying to hear about the same problem from a friend or a colleague for years while having some resolutions in your mind.[4] Although empathy and listening attentively is a lot of work, it is better to continue listening to the same old problems than to start offering unsolicited advice. You don't know what situations may hinder your friend from taking the solution or advice you want to offer.[5]
- Avoid pontificating. If you have a desire to pontificate about particular subjects, try to remember this tendency and take note of its effects on others. You may notice that it doesn't always have a great reception, in which case you may want to stop offering unwanted advice to people.[6]
EditListening Attentively - Listen with an open mind. If you are in a face to face conversation, face the person, maintain eye contact and listen with an open mind to what they are saying. Likewise, if you are on the phone, listen attentively with an open mind. Try to just comprehend what they are saying.[7]
- If you are having a hard time concentrating, try repeating their words in your mind.[8]
- Rather than going on to offer unsolicited advice, you should continue trying to understand their situation in greater depth through active listening. Only offer advice if they directly ask you for it.[9]
- Acknowledge what they are saying. To assure them that you are actively listening to their story, you can nod your head in affirmation. You could also say, "uh huh." Where appropriate, you can offer affirmations such as "thanks for sharing" or "that makes sense."[10]
- Empathize instead of giving unsolicited advice. If your intention is to make friends, perhaps you should try simply listening to the person. If you offer unsolicited advice, they may react negatively and it could defeat your purpose. Instead of offering advice, try listening and then making empathetic nods or making the following kinds of statements:[11]
- "I understand, tell me more"
- "That sounds hard, I'm sorry to hear you had that experience"
- Ask if you have understood them correctly. After they have finished speaking, you could try making a comment or question for the purpose of recapping what they have said. This will ensure you have understood them correctly. Try recapping and then asking if your recap of their story is a correct interpretation:[12]
- "What I understand from what you have just told me is that you feel terribly about what happened to John and you want to do something about it. Do I understand you correctly?"
- "From what I understand, you really want to fix your relationship with Sue, which seems to have gone south since Christmas. And the issue seems to be partly the long distance but also these other things you were talking about. Am I getting this right?"
EditKnowing When and How to Offer Advice - Stop trying to fix their problems. Consider dropping your own assessments of their problem and related ideas about how to fix things. Instead, consider ways you could be more empathetic. For instance, consider letting go of your desire to fix their problem and try to understand the details of their situation.[13]
- You may not agree with their interpretation of their situation, but you should still listen attentively and try to understand them.
- Try to understand their state of affairs. Often, unsolicited advice comes from a place of not adequately understanding the situation or challenge that another person is going through.[14] To move beyond this problem, you could try to understand and empathize with the challenge that they are going through. It might help to ask them clarifying questions:
- "Can you tell me a little more about that?"
- "That sounds really tough. I'm not sure I understand how you got into that situation. Can you remind me how that happened?"
- Ask how you can help. After listening attentively, you can ask them directly how you could help out. They may simply say that you are helping by offering an attentive ear. If they need something specific, they may tell you. If they are specifically looking for advice, they will have the opportunity to ask you for it. Try saying:[15]
- "I'm here anytime you need me. Really, anything you need."
- "What can I do to help?"
- Give advice if they specifically ask for it. Advice that is specifically requested is much more appreciated than unsolicited advice. If you are called upon to give advice, you can go ahead and offer your two cents on how to resolve the situation. Give advice if they ask the following kinds of questions:[16]
- "I really need advice on how to resolve this situation with my brother. I'm at a loss right now. Do you have any experience that would help?"
- "Have you ever dealt with a family member dealing with depression? Do you have any advice based on that experience?"
- Talk to them if they are at risk of self harm. Rather than telling them specific things to do, you should convey your care for them and listen to their problems. You shouldn't promise to keep any secrets, since you may have to convey the information to a mental health professional. Listen with attentive ears to everything they have to say and try to be there for them.[17]
- If there is an emergency, you should call 911 and wait until help arrives.
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Work Out to Prevent Hunched Shoulders Posted: 22 Jun 2017 01:00 AM PDT Hunched or rolled shoulders can result from long days sitting in front of the computer, but a good workout can help you open up your back and strengthen your muscles. Stretching can keep your shoulders and back limber. Strength training can encourage good posture, especially if you work your upper body. Core exercises are important too, as they will improve your general posture and keep your spine straight. EditStretching Your Back - Warm up by rolling your shoulders. Before you start stretching, warm up your back muscles by rolling your shoulders. Start with a set of ten forward shoulder rolls followed by ten backwards shoulder rolls.[1]
- You can also do arm circles. Stretch out your arms to either side at shoulder height, and make small circles for about ten seconds. Reverse the direction of the circle, and repeat for another ten seconds.
- Do a goalpost stretch. For this exercise, you will need either a jump rope, yoga strap, belt, or other rope. Stand straight, and hold the strap between both hands. Stretch your arms out in front of your body, keeping them at shoulder height. As you inhale, lift your straight arms above your head. As you exhale, bring them back down to shoulder height.[2]
- This exercise can be repeated three to five times.
- Perform a T-stretch. Lie down with a foam roller propped along your spine; your head, shoulders, and upper back should all be touching the roller. Your knees should be bent with your feet flat on the ground. Stretch your arms out to the side to make a "T" shape. Your arms should form a straight line with your shoulders. Hold this pose for one minute.[3]
- Clasp your hands behind your shoulders. Hold your hands behind your back, keeping your arms straight. Pull back on your shoulders with your arms. You should feel your chest open and stretch as your shoulders squeeze.[4]
- Make angels on the floor or wall. Lie down on the floor, and prop a rolled towel or foam roller under your spine. Place your arms on the ground above your arm, and gently sweep them down towards your side, as if you were making snow angels on the floor. Do this for two or three minutes.[5]
- If the foam roller makes it too difficult for you, you can remove it for a simpler exercise.
- You can also do this exercise against a wall. Stand with your spine flat against the wall. Hold your arms above your head but pressed against the wall. Bring your arms down slowly to your side and back up again.
EditBuilding Strength in Your Upper Body - Stand in a downward facing dog pose. Start by standing, and lean forward until your hands are on the ground and your hips in the air. Imagine your body is a straight line from your hips to your hands; this will help you lengthen your spine. Hold this pose for up to a minute.[6]
- Lift dumbbells in a Y-raise. Lie face down on a stability ball while holding a dumbbell in each hand. Your legs should extend straight behind you, and your feet should be spaced slightly wider than your shoulders. When you start, your arms should be stretched out below your shoulders. Lift the dumbbells above shoulder height, keeping your arms straight, before lowering them down again.[7]
- Do two to three sets of ten reps.
- Row with a resistance band. Set up a resistance band on a door or sturdy piece of furniture. Holding onto the ends of the band, move back a few feet. With your legs slightly bent and spine straight, start "rowing" with the band by pulling your elbows back behind your waist. Squeeze your shoulder blades, and return to starting position.[8]
- Each set should be ten reps. You can do up to two or three reps.
- If this exercise is too difficult, you might try sitting on a chair while doing it.
- The resistance band should be about waist height.
- Perform lat pull downs. At the gym, find a pull-down machine with a wide bar. Hold the bar with your chest slightly puffed out. As you exhale, pull the bar down until it almost touches your chest. After holding the pose for a second, slowly raise the bar back to starting position, inhaling as you do so.[9]
- You can do multiple sets of ten reps each.
- Before starting this exercise, adjust the seat to your height, and make sure that the correct weight is chosen.
EditStabilizing Your Core - Hold a plank pose. Go down on your hands and knees; your palms should be directly under your shoulders. Stretch both legs out behind you. This should be similar to the beginning of a push-up, but instead of lowering yourself, you will hold this position for at least 30 seconds.[10]
- Keep your abdominal muscles pulled in to help stability.
- This exercise will build strength throughout your body, including your shoulders and back.
- If this move is too easy for you, try doing it while resting on your forearms.
- Lift your back. Sit with your legs extended straight in front of you and your feet together. Put your hands behind your back, fingers pointing forward. Lift your body up, straightening out your back and spine as you do so. Your body should form a straight line leading down between your head and your toes.[11]
- Hold this pose for up to ten seconds, before slowly returning to the starting position.
- Your feet should be pointed as you raise your body.
- Perform medicine ball deadbugs. Start with your back against the ground. Hold a medicine ball between your knees and elbows. Stretch out your right leg and your left arm while the left leg and right arm hold the medicine ball. Bring the arm and leg back in so that they are holding the medicine ball, and stretch out the other leg and arm.[12]
- Do eight to ten reps on each leg.
- Use a three to five pound (one to two kilo) medicine ball for this exercise.
- Do thoracic spine extensions. Lie down with a foam roller under your spine. Bend your legs with both feet flat on the ground. With your hands behind your head, pull in your elbows towards one another, and lean your head back against the floor. Roll the foam up or down your spine until you reach a sensitive, tense, or sore spot. Lift your head ten times before returning to the starting position.[13]
- Once you have done one set, roll the foam to a new position, and repeat until you have worked your entire spine.
- When you sit, make sure your spine is straight and your shoulders are back. This will help you keep a good posture.
- Exercising your entire body can help prevent bad posture. When you work out, don't neglect your arms, legs, or other parts of your body.
- Stretches do not have to be done while working out. You can do them when you wake up in the morning or after you get home from work.
- Remember to breathe as you exercise to prevent injury.
- It is important to maintain good posture, especially if you are lifting weights.
EditSources and Citations
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