| How to Find a Vision Therapist Posted: 12 Jun 2017 05:00 PM PDT Visual therapy, or vision therapy, is a program of vision exercises designed to correct vision problems, especially in children, that may interfere with reading, writing, and education. Vision therapy also may include training glasses or other medical equipment. Sometimes a child's teacher will recommend visual therapy if the child has trouble reading or writing. To find a visual therapist, look for a developmental optometrist near you and schedule a comprehensive exam. [1] EditFinding a Developmental Optometrist - Search the COVD directory. The College of Optometrists in Vision Development (COVD) is a professional organization for developmental optometrists. You can locate a developmental optometrist near you on their website.
- Go to www.covd.org. If you live in the United States, you can enter your ZIP code at the top of the organization's home page.
- The organization also has chapters in Canada and South Korea, so if you live in one of those countries you can find your national directory by clicking the link for your national chapter.
- Other countries may be available on the main website. Check the advanced search features.
- Check with the Optometrists Network. The Optometrists Network is a global network of developmental optometrists. You may be able to find developmental optometrists near you by searching their online directory.[2]
- The website for the Optometrists Network is www.optometrists.org. Once there, click "Find a Doctor" to look for a developmental optometrist near you. In addition to the U.S. and Canada, the Optometrists Network also includes optometrists in Australia, Denmark, France, Germany, India, Israel, Malaysia, Mexico, New Zealand, the Philippines, Puerto Rico, South Africa, and the UK.
- The website also has additional information you can read through to learn more about vision therapy.
- Talk to your primary health care provider. If you are unable to find a developmental optometrist online, your physician or your child's pediatrician may be able to refer you or your child to a developmental optometrist in your area.[3]
- The child's pediatrician also is a good source for a recommendation for an ophthalmologist, who you may want to see to rule out any eye diseases that are causing the vision problem.
- Keep in mind it is possible your primary care physician may not know of anyone for whom they can offer a referral. However, they may have a good idea of where to look or be able to give you some additional tips on how to go about your search.
- Confirm your insurance. While insurance often will cover the exams, it may not cover vision therapy if the developmental therapist recommends it. You need to make sure you understand what your insurance will cover from the outset.[4]
- Ask separately about examinations and vision therapy. Some insurance companies will cover one but not the other.
- Make sure the developmental optometrists that you've located take your insurance.
- You also need to find out how many total sessions are covered, and how much of the cost is covered. Keep in mind that you may need to make several calls to your insurance company's customer service line to know for sure.
- Interview several developmental optometrists. In some areas, there may not be many developmental optometrists near you. In that case, you may have no choice but to go with the first one you find.[5]
- If there are several in your area, talking to each of them can help you choose the one that best suits your budget and the needs of your child. Particularly if your child is shy or anxious around other adults, you also can try to find the one with whom your child is most comfortable.
- If you have the option, find someone who does office-based vision therapy themselves, rather than referring your child out. The exam typically will be more accurate and more comprehensive, because they'll know what to look for and what a therapist needs to know.
- Ask about total cost of therapy, and how many sessions they typically recommend. Compare this to what you've found out about your insurance coverage.
- Contact references. A good developmental optometrist should be able to provide you with the names and contact information for several satisfied parents who have used their services. Talking to these parents can give you a better idea of what to expect.[6]
- If a developmental optometrist gives you people to call, be professional and courteous but up-front with these parents. Don't be afraid to ask about anything you want to know, including the total cost of the treatment.
- Find out what problems their children had, and whether they noticed a significant difference through therapy.
- You also might ask about their personal experience with the developmental optometrist and their office. Find out things such as how communicative the staff and optometrist were, what happens if you have to cancel an appointment, and how patients and parents are treated generally.
EditGetting a Comprehensive Exam - Do a home vision assessment. If visual therapy has been recommended for your child, you may want to go through a home vision assessment to determine if therapy is necessary or would be beneficial.[7]
- You can find assessments online, typically offered by dyslexia organizations. Check the "about" page of any website where you find an assessment, and review the organization's credentials.
- An assessment is helpful if your child has had trouble with reading at school, particularly if you have limited finances. Getting vision therapy can be very expensive. The assessment will help you determine if the problem is vision-related at all, or if your child simply doesn't like to read for another reason.
- A thorough at-home assessment involves both your observations as well as the child's observations.
- Schedule a visit with an ophthalmologist. Getting a comprehensive eye examination is a lengthy process, and can be expensive – especially if it's not covered by your insurance. For that reason, it may be best to take your child to an ophthalmologist first.[8]
- Look for an ophthalmologist who has experience working with kids. If possible, you also want someone who has experience working with kids who have difficulties similar to those your child is having.
- An ophthalmologist can screen for pediatric eye diseases and other disorders that may be causing symptomatic problems with vision.
- If a disease is identified, typically treating that disease will remedy the problem without the need for extensive vision therapy.
- Have visual skills tested by a developmental optometrist. A comprehensive eye examination will test all visual skills, including the function and performance of your child's eyes. This examination helps determine whether the child has eye problems that may be causing developmental delays or learning problems.[9]
- Typically when your child gets their eyes tested at a school vision screening, it only tests for the sharpness and clearness of the child's vision at a distance. However, other eye functions, such as focus and depth perception, are important to a child's growth and development.
- The comprehensive eye exam also will test color vision, the ability of the eyes to work together, and the ability of the eyes to work together with other senses.
- Keep in mind that many problems with these other visual skills, if detected early enough, can be improved with vision therapy.
- Talk to the developmental optometrist about the results. Once the examination is complete, the developmental optometrist typically will prepare a report for you that summarizes the examination and their recommendations based on that examination.[10]
- The developmental optometrist should provide you a plan, including the total number of sessions they recommend. They also will talk to you about potential outcomes as a result of the therapy.
- Even if you decide not to go through with the therapy immediately, it's still helpful to get the examination done. The report can help you work on the issue at home and improve your child's vision.
- Consider getting a second opinion. If you haven't already taken your child to an ophthalmologist, you may want to do so after getting the results of the comprehensive eye exam to rule out any disorders or diseases.[11]
- Bring the comprehensive eye exam report with you so the ophthalmologist can review it themselves.
EditStarting Vision Therapy - Get an estimate of overall costs. Vision therapy often is fairly expensive. You should expect each visit to cost several hundred dollars. This could put the total cost into the thousands, depending on how many visits the developmental optometrist recommends.[12]
- You may be able to lower the costs by doing more therapy exercises at home and only going once every other week instead of once a week.
- If the overall cost is outside your financial means, talk to the developmental optometrist about what you can do to bring it down.
- Search for alternatives. If in-office vision therapy is completely off the table for you from a financial standpoint, there may be lower-cost options you could pursue that would have similar effects to the vision therapy recommended.[13]
- In some areas, you may be able to find free or reduced-cost vision therapy from government institutions or nonprofit organizations. The developmental optometrist may be able to point you towards resources in your area.
- Some developmental optometrists also work with computer-based programs online, which can not only reduce your costs but cut your travel time – especially if you're having to travel a long distance to get to their office.
- Schedule in-office therapy sessions once a week. Vision therapy has the best results if you can get your child into the office to do sessions with the developmental optometrist at least once a week. There are exercises and procedures that can be done in the office that can't be done at home.[14]
- The therapy plan will be designed specifically to suit the needs of your child, and typically will require several 30-minute to hour-long sessions.
- These exercises aren't necessarily designed to strengthen eye muscles, but rather to improve or help develop visual skills and abilities. The specific exercises and procedures used will depend on your child's vision needs.
- Oversee daily exercises at home. Depending on your child's vision needs, the developmental optometrist may prescribe daily exercises, or "homework," to be done on a daily basis between in-office sessions.[15]
- The exercises prescribed typically will be ones that reinforce the work done during in-office sessions, or that encourage development of particular skills.
- For example, your child may be assigned "pencil push-ups," an exercise in which something is written on a pencil and held at arm's length, with the child slowly bringing the pencil closer to their face.
- However, most exercises prescribed by a developmental optometrist as part of a vision therapy program will be more specifically tailored than pencil push-ups.
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Cope when Your Parents Dislike Your Fiance Posted: 12 Jun 2017 09:00 AM PDT It can be very disheartening to plan a wedding — and a life together — when your parents don't like your fiancé. You might wonder how you can interact without all the negativity or confrontation. But there are ways to cope when your parents don't like your fiancé. Start by addressing your parents' concerns and working with your future spouse. Then you should try to reconcile the situation, or, if that's impossible, figure out the best ways to keep the peace. EditAddressing Your Parents' Concerns - Ask your parents what their concerns are. If you don't already know why your parents dislike your fiancé, you should ask them. Once you know exactly what their concerns are, you can take steps to address them and hopefully improve the relationship.
- You might say, for example, "Mom, Dad, I know that you don't care for my fiancé very much. But I'm not sure why. Could we talk about it?"
- Or, you might directly say to them, "Could you tell me why you don't like my fiancé?"
- Talk to your parents alone. It may be easier for you to begin the process of overcoming your parents' dislike for your fiancé without your future spouse's presence. You're likely to have a greater comfort level this way, and your parents may be more willing to speak freely.[1]
- You don't have to hide this from your fiancé, though; say something like "I'm going to talk to my parents about why they seem to dislike you. I think it will be best if we bring you into the discussion a little later."
- Listen carefully and calmly to what your parents have to say. Find out if the problem is finances, prospects, attitude, background, beliefs, or some other factors.
- Talk about the situation as a group. After you've spoken to your parents alone, or, right from the start if you prefer, sit down with them and your fiancé and talk about the situation. Having open and honest communication about what is going on and how your parents feel may bring a peaceful and happy resolution to the situation.[2]
- Try to talk at a neutral place like a restaurant or a park. You all may be less likely to get upset in a public place like this.
- You might tell your parents and your fiancé, "We're all going to sit down and talk about this situation so that we can work it out." Be calm but firm in your insistence that your marriage plans will not be derailed and that an accommodation must be reached.
- Reassure your parents. Sometimes parents have concerns about their future in-laws because of worries they have for their child's happiness. Talk to your parents about your decision and let them know that they have nothing to worry about.[3] This can help alleviate some of their worries and help them like your fiancé a bit better.
- For example, you could say, "You guys raised me well and I hope you can trust that I've thought this decision through. I know that I'm making the right choice and that I'm planning for a successful future with my fiancé."
- Or, you might say, "I know that you want the best for me. If you give my fiancé a chance, I'm sure that your feelings will change."
EditTrying to Reconcile the Situation - Remain neutral. Avoid taking sides in any confrontations between your parents and your fiancé. This not only will make one side feel betrayed, but may make the situation even worse. The best thing you can do to diffuse the situation is to remain neutral and let both sides know that you care about them and respect their feelings.[4]
- You might say something like, "I know that there are difficult feelings on both sides. Let's just all calm down and take a step back."
- Don't let yourself get dragged into an "It's them or me" ultimatum; keep saying "I love each of you deeply and I know we can work this out, or at least learn to tolerate one another."
- Be honest with everyone. You may be tempted to give your fiancé the impression that your parents really like them. You might not want to let your parents even know that you're engaged. The best thing to do when your parents dislike your fiancé is to be honest with everyone about what's going on.[5]
- For example, you might have to tell your fiancé, "I know you really like my parents, but they don't care for you very much. I hope that will change some as they get to know you."
- Or, you might need to tell your parents, "I know you don't like my fiancé, but we are in love and are planning to get married. I don't want this to come between us."
- The truth will come out eventually, so it's best to stay ahead of things and address problems before they fester.
- Try to compromise. Your parents and your fiancé may never see completely eye-to-eye. However, they can reach a compromise that all of you can cope with. Sit down with your parents and your fiancé and try to work out a plan for how you all can interact and be a family together without any negativity.[6]
- For example, you might tell your parents, "I know you may never fully embrace Jamie. But we're going to all be a family soon no matter what, so we need to sit down and work out a way to manage our problems together."
- In some cases, letting your parents get to know your fiancé better might help; in others, it may be best to limit contact to necessary, defined situations.
EditDealing with an Incurable Dislike - State your position clearly. If you've tried communicating and compromising and there's simply no way that your parents will ever be able to embrace your fiancé, you need to stand firm. Be clear that their disapproval will not change how you feel about your partner or your plans for a life together.[7]
- Say something like, "Mom, Dad, this is my decision to make and your disapproval will not change it. I'm sorry you can't accept the person I love, but I love you too and always will."
- Adjust your wedding plans as needed. When you dreamed of your wedding day, it probably didn't include your parents sitting there stone-faced in disapproval — or worse, not there at all. Don't ignore reality and expect everyone to embrace happily on the big day. Instead, make adjustments to your wedding plans to limit unnecessary interactions or even to account for your parents' absence.[8]
- If, for instance, you're having a civil ceremony because your fiancé doesn't share your religious background, and this upsets your traditionalist parents, don't try to force them to come. Tell them something like, "Remember, the ceremony is at 2 o'clock at the courthouse. I'll make sure there are seats for both of you if you decide to come. And I really hope you do."
- Create a plan for managing family interactions. Once you're married, you'll have to continue to navigate the difficult relationship between your spouse and your parents. As before, honesty, open communication, and practical adjustments are key. Clear the air when necessary, seek out compromises, and be reasonable about limiting interactions when needed.
- For instance, go to family gatherings alone sometimes, or be clear beforehand that the two of you can only stay a set amount of time. You should also plan an exit strategy ahead of time in case things go sour quickly.
EditCoping Along with Your Fiancé - Talk to each other. Don't try to ignore or deny the problems caused by your parents' dislike for your fiancé. If anything, use it as added motivation to strengthen the relationship you have with your partner. Communicate openly and often about your feelings and concerns, listen attentively, and seek support and solutions from each other.[9]
- For instance: "You've probably noticed I've been feeling down about my parents' refusal to accept you. Can we talk a bit about it and see if we can come up with any ideas?"
- Empathize with your fiancé. Your parents' negative attitude will weigh on you, but it will also impact your partner. They will likely feel some amount of guilt for causing this rupture between you and your parents. Be clear with your fiancé that you don't blame them and that you support and love them just the way they are.
- Watch signs that your partner is stressed, sad, or feels guilty about the issue, and also be mindful of the signals you are putting out. Are you acting like your fiancé's partly to blame even if you keep saying "It's not your fault"? Talk and listen openly and honestly.[10]
- Consider couples' counseling. Family disapproval can destroy romantic relationships by sowing seeds of doubt or distrust. If you truly want your forthcoming marriage to succeed, don't be afraid to seek out professional help in working through the problems caused by your parents' dislike for your fiancé. Being determined to make a relationship work is a sign of strength, not weakness.
- Talking with a therapist can help reduce the stress created by the unpleasant reality of your parents' disapproval. You can also engage in stress-reduction strategies with your fiancé by doing things together like exercising, meditating, trying yoga or deep breathing, or taking up relaxing hobbies.
- The therapist will use their judgment on whether to include your parents in a session or two. Sometimes an outsider can connect with parents better in this kind of situation.
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Cut Bangs for Men Posted: 12 Jun 2017 01:00 AM PDT Your bangs play a major role in defining your look. While most men aren't known for being very finicky about how their bangs are styled, they might be surprised to discover just how much of an effect that unassuming fringe of hair can have when properly coiffed. That's why it's recommended that every man to have a working knowledge of how to keep their hair trimmed and styled up front in order to be presentable. The most important guidelines to keep in mind when touching up your own bangs are to cut a little at a time, create the right shape and find a style that works for your individual features. EditPreparing for a Haircut - Decide on the look you want to achieve. Before you start cutting your bangs, you should have an idea in mind as to what sort of style you're going for. Do you work in a professional setting where you're expected to keep your hair neat and precise? Do you imagine yourself with an edgier, more ruffled aesthetic? Formulating a plan will allow you determine the best length, shape and style for your bangs.[1]
- Consider your hair's specific texture, thickness, natural part and wave pattern when deciding on a cut.
- Use the right kind of scissors. Invest in a pair of scissors that have small, sharp blades and a smooth cutting action. This will make it easier to fine-tune your cut, since smaller blades won't take off quite so much hair at one time. You'll also be less likely to damage the hair than you would be by making do with a pair of clippers that aren't designed for cosmetic use.[2]
- Cuticle or mustache scissors are both well-suited for this purpose.
- The sharper the scissors, the better. Sharp scissor blades will shear off hair effortlessly, resulting in a cleaner cut and preventing damage to the shaft of the hair.
- Wash and comb your hair. Start with a head of clean, detangled hair. Shampoo with warm water, rinse thoroughly and run a comb through your locks to tame the strands and remove any knots or kinks. That way, you can ensure that the cuts you make will be straight and precise.[3]
- Treating frizzy hair with conditioner can impose some much-needed smoothness, making it look and feel better.[4]
- Comb your hair down over your forehead. This will make it easier to section off and grab hold of.
- Trim your hair while it's damp. Don't wait for your hair to dry completely before giving your bangs a shape-up. Hair is most easily cut and styled while it still has a little moisture in it, since it will be more malleable and have a little added weight. Your best bet is to wash your hair, wring it out or pat it gently with a towel and then proceed to take off unwanted length.[5]
- Keep in mind that your hair will draw up as it dries, making it look shorter. You'll want to be careful about clipping too much.
- Rewet hair with a spray bottle so that it doesn't dry out while you're touching it up.
EditCutting Your Bangs - Identify the hair you want to trim. For basic utilitarian bangs, you can clip evenly from one side to the other, beginning with the hair just in front of the temples. If you're cutting around a side part or going for more of a tapered style, plan to adjust the length of your hair accordingly around the forehead and ears. Having a specific style goal will allow you to decide where the most hair needs to be trimmed.[6]
- Shoot for an appropriate length and shape that frames your face and highlights your strongest features.[7]
- Keep in mind that your hair will have a tendency to drape where it's longest.
- Run a comb through a small section of hair. Stop the comb just short of the ends, so that only about half an inch of strands are exposed. The comb will act similarly to the guard on an electric razor, preventing scissor-related accidents and giving you greater control over the outcome of the cut.[8]
- Lift the hair up and away from the scalp as you snip.
- Use a fine-toothed comb to grab and hold more hair.
- Cut into the hair at an angle. Cutting a section of hair straight across can result in an awkward blunted look. This is the last thing you want to do to the hair that highlights your face. Instead, hold the scissors perpendicularly to the comb and chop at the ends of the hair using the tip.[9]
- Cutting at an angle decreases weight and produces lighter, more textured layers which make the hair appear fuller.
- Make sure to get the ends of each section of hair down to the same length.
- Use small, quick snips. Unlike cutting a piece of paper, where you use the entire length of the scissor blades as the cutting surface, when cutting hair you want to keep your movements conservative. Aim to take off just a little bit of hair with each pass. You're much less likely to make mistakes than you would be by hacking off huge chunks with long, sawing strokes.[10]
- Try not to remove more than about a quarter inch of hair at a time.
- Work slowly and deliberately. Don't get in too big of a rush while trimming your bangs. Start with the front and top of the crown, then work your way around to the sides, making sure everything is even and symmetrical. Cut a little bit at a time, then review your progress in the mirror. It's important to remember that once the hair is gone, you can't put it back.[11]
- Err on the side of caution. You may be shocked by how big a difference a couple centimeters can make.
- Be patient. It's better to trim slowly and carefully than to try to go too quickly.
EditStyling Bangs for Different Hair Types - Keep your hair neat and precise. Whether you work in an office, hate the feeling of your hair touching your forehead or just want to look a little more put together, a sleek fringe conveys order and maturity in a way that bedhead can't. Wear your bangs on the short side and emphasize symmetry and angular cuts.[12]
- For tidy cuts, your bangs should be the same length in the front as it is on top, or just slightly longer.
- Trim your hair regularly to keep it from getting bushy over your ears and neck.
- Go with a tousled look. Many men enjoy the cavalier character of strategically messy bangs. These styles are modern, low-maintenance and just wild enough to provide some allure without making you look sloppy. Tousled hairstyles are usually suitable for both casual and professional environments, as long as they're not too shaggy.[13]
- Tousled bangs can quickly go from cool to unkempt. Keep cowlicks and flyaways under control using a dime-sized glob of low-hold hair gel or pomade.[14]
- Give these styles focus by making the transition in length gradual and bringing them to a point near the center of the forehead. That way, you won't run the risk of looking unkempt all over.
- Work around your part. Men who keep a distinctive part can trim the hair to slightly different lengths on opposite sides of the part. For instance, if you have a deep part on the left side of your face, leaving the hair longer on the right side will allow it to lay flat and drape more elegantly than hair that's been cut to a uniform length. Leave hair the same length from the ears to the back of the crown so that the portion between the outer edges of the eyebrows draws all the attention.[15]
- Let the longer side of the part lay over your forehead, or slick it back when you need to cut a dressier image.
- Find your natural part by combing your hair straight up or down and seeing which way it separates.[16]
- Cut curly hair shorter in the back and sides. Hair that's especially curly can start to assume a puffy mushroom shape as it grows out. To combat this, trim the hair behind the ears and around the temples nice and short and save the length for the front and uppermost portions of the crown. Staggered-length cuts will create much more flattering silhouette and keep men with mid length hair from looking like they lost a fight with a blowdryer.[17]
- Shape the back and sides of your head with an electric razor on a low number setting.[18]
- Use a dab of pomade and a comb or your fingers to pull your bangs down and forward to a subtle point.
- To ensure that a cut looks good and is done right, visit a professional hairstylist.
- Bangs can be styled and positioned to hide a wide foreheads or balance out the shape of longer faces.
- Use multiple mirrors to get a good view of your profile when examining your handiwork.
- Consult men's style magazines and websites for ideas and inspiration on how to achieve a fashionable fringe.
- Be cautious with your scissors. Don't bring them too close to your eyes, ears or scalp. To make this easier, always hold you hair out and up away from your crown.
- Once you've cut a piece of hair, it's gone. Take your time and show some restraint with the shears. If you make a mistake, you'll have no choice but to simply wait until it grows back.
EditThings You'll Need - Sharp scissors
- Mirror
- Fine-tooth comb
- Shampoo
- Conditioner
- Spray bottle (optional)
- Styling gel or pomade (optional)
- Style guide
EditSources and Citations
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