| How to Cut Down Your Shopping Addiction Posted: 15 Mar 2017 05:00 PM PDT Shopping addiction, sometimes called "shopaholism," can have major negative consequences on your personal life, career, and finances. Because shopping is so deeply embedded in global capitalist culture, it can be hard to tell when you've crossed the line.[1] The following steps will show you how to spot signs of shopping addiction, promptly change your buying habits, and seek professional help if necessary. EditUnderstanding Shopping Addiction - Recognize the problem. As with most addictions, recognizing your behavior and coming to see it as a true impediment on your daily life and relationships is half the battle. Consult this list of symptoms, and use it to gauge the severity of your shopping addiction. This is an important way to decide exactly how much you need to cut down—whether you can be trusted to simply moderate your shopping or if it may be a better idea to simply stop shopping altogether.[2]
- Shopping or spending money when you feel upset, angry, lonely, or anxious
- Having arguments with others about your shopping that rationalizes your behavior
- Feeling lost or lonely without your credit cards
- Consistently purchasing with credit rather than cash
- Feeling a euphoric rush or deep sense of ecstasy when making purchases
- Feeling guilt, shame, or embarrassment upon excessive spending
- Lying about your spending habits or the cost of specific items
- Having obsessive thoughts about money
- Spending lots of your time trying to manage money and bills to accommodate your spending habits
- Look honestly at your buying habits. Keep a record of what you buy for two weeks to a month, also making note of how you pay for your purchases. Ask yourself the following questions to get a better handle on when and how you buy. Also, tracking the exact amount of money you spend for this length of time will help open your eyes to how severe your shopping habit really is.
- Identify your brand of shopaholism. According to Shopaholics Anonymous, compulsive shopping can take many forms. Knowing these forms will help you understand your addiction better so that you can better understand how to help yourself. You may be able to recognize yourself on this list, or use your record of buying habits to see where you fit.[3]
- Shoppers who are triggered to shop upon emotional distress
- Trophy shopaholics who are constantly on the hunt for the perfect item
- Shoppers who enjoy flashy items and love feeling like a big spender
- Bargain seekers who buy things only because they are on sale
- "Bulimic" shoppers who get are caught up in a continuous cycle of buying items, only to return them later and start buying anew
- Collectors who seek a feeling of completion from buying each piece of a set or the same item in every variation (color, style, etc.)
- Learn the long-term effects of shopping addiction. While the short-term effects of shopping addiction may be positive, like feeling happy after completing a shopping trip, many of the long-term effects are overwhelmingly negative.[4] Understanding these effects is a good way to face the realities of an excessive shopping habit.
- Spending over budget and deep financial trouble
- Compulsive buying over and above necessities (e.g. going to buy one sweater and leaving the store with ten)
- Secrecy and hiding the problem to avoid criticism
- Feelings of helplessness due to ongoing cycles of purchasing where guilt causes returns which then cause more purchases
- Impaired relationships from secrecy, lying about debt, and physical isolation as the preoccupation with shopping increases
- Recognize that over-spending often has emotional causes. For many, shopping is a way to curb and escape from negative emotions. Like most addictions that provide a "quick fix" to problems with deep psychological roots, shopping can help you feel complete and capable of maintaining a false image of happiness and security.[5] Push yourself to consider whether or not shopping is an attempt to fill a void in your life that could be otherwise solved by healthier and more sustainable lifestyles.
EditMaking Behavioral Changes to Cut Down Shopping - Learn your triggers. A trigger is anything that makes you want to shop. Keep a journal with you for at least a week, and whenever you feel the urge to shop, write down whatever you feel brought the idea into your mind. It may be a particular environment, friend, advertisement, or feeling (like anger, shame, or boredom). Knowing your triggers is extremely helpful because you can avoid the things that make you want to shop as you are learning to decrease your habit.
- For example, you might go into a buying frenzy whenever you have a formal event to go to. You might get tempted to buy all sorts of wardrobe changes, designer makeup, or other products that will increase your confidence and make you feel ready for the event.
- Knowing this, you could make a special plan for handling invitations to big events. You might cut out event-related shopping altogether and spend a mandatory hour looking through your closet for something suitable to wear that you already own.
- Cut down on shopping. The best way to limit your shopping without stopping entirely is to be more conscious of how much your budget realistically allows you to spend over and above basic essentials. Keep a close eye to your finances, and take yourself shopping only when your budget for the month (or even for the week) permits it. This way you can keep shopping occasionally, but stand to avoid some of the larger financial issues that can come with the habit.
- When shopping, carry as much money with you as you know you can get away with spending. Leave your credit cards at home to avoid temptation to go over your limit.
- You can also try making an inventory of the things you own and a wishlist of the extras that you really want. Looking at your list will help keep you grounded and able to recognize when you're about to purchase something you already have a lot of or something you don't want as badly as other items that you'll surely be tempted to purchase.
- Wait at least 20 minutes before making a purchase. Don't be sure that you must buy something; instead, spend time thinking about why you should or shouldn't go through with it.[6]
- If you know there are particular stores where you tend to spend too much, only go to these stores on special occasions or with friends who can help monitor your purchasing. If this is a website, make sure it isn't on your list of bookmarked pages.
- Go "cold turkey" with discretionary spending. Alternately, if your shopping addiction is serious, limit yourself only to the bare essentials. Be very vigilant when you must shop, and make a shopping list that you stick to. Avoid the temptation of sales and inexpensive items at discount warehouses, and allocate only a certain amount of cash to spend if you do visit one. The more specific your rules, the better. For example, instead of deciding to only shop for groceries and self-care necessities, make a complete list of self-care necessities (like toothpaste, deodorant, etc.) and do not buy anything other than what you've written down.
- Change your payment methods, and destroy and cancel all credit cards. If you feel you should have one for emergencies only, ask a loved one guard it for you. This is important since people tend to spend twice as much as they would when making purchases with a card rather than cash.[7]
- Do your market research before leaving the house. Because getting carried away while browsing often brings about unneeded purchases, know exactly which brands and types of each item on your list you need to buy. This will take the fun out of shopping by cutting off the need to browse.
- Give up all loyalty cards that you do not use for the bare necessities that frequently appear on your shopping list.
- Avoid shopping alone. Most compulsive shoppers do their purchasing alone, and if you are with others you are much more likely not to spend excessively.[8] This is the advantage of peer pressure; let yourself learn from the moderate buying habits of people whose judgment you trust.
- It may even be necessary to put someone you trust in charge of your finances completely.
- Get involved in other activities. Find more meaningful ways to spend your time. When trying to change compulsive behavior, it is crucial that you replace the behavior with another way of spending your time that is fulfilling and satisfying (but this time in a way that is sustainable).[9]
- People find happiness in activities that make them feel so immersed that they lose track of time completely. Learn a new skill, finish a project you've put aside for a long time, or improve yourself in some other way. Whether you're reading, jogging, cooking or playing a musical instrument doesn't matter as long as you're fully engaged.[10]
- While exercising and taking walks can provide a continuous source of happiness, these activities are especially useful alternatives to pursue while in the throes of a shopping urge.
- Track your progress. Remember to give yourself lots of acknowledgment and encouragement while you are in the midst of changing your shopping habits. It is important to give yourself credit for your progress, as kicking an addiction is exceedingly difficult. An objective look at how far you've come will stop you from beating yourself up over moments of struggle and self-doubt, which are inevitable.
- Try monitoring the amount of money you spend in a spreadsheet. Look at the amount of trips you make to the store (or your favorite shopping sites) by making tick marks on your calendar.
- Make a list of environments to avoid. Create "no-fly zones" --places that you know will trigger you to shop. In all likelihood, these are places like malls, certain stores, or large open shopping areas. Your rules should be clear and precise to avoid being able to convince yourself that you can go and just browse a little bit. List these places and steer clear from them entirely for as long as you can manage, until the urge to buy excessively dissipates significantly. Check your trigger list to make sure that you're avoiding the right places and situations while you're in the sensitive moments of "detox" from your shopping addiction.[11]
- You may not have to avoid all of these environments in the long-run, and indeed this may be a very difficult task due to the omnipresence of advertisements and buying opportunities.[12]
- Especially if you are only trying to cut down and not quit shopping altogether, you may simply want to limit your presence in these environments. Create a schedule of when you will allow yourself to visit your favorite stores and stick to it.
- Stay local. At least when you are beginning to cut back, take a break from traveling. This can help you avoid the temptation to buy that can be brought on by new or unfamiliar places. People tend to purchase more when they shop outside of their communities.[13]
- Consider that "remote buying" from shopping channels and online sources can bring the same feel of a new environment--presenting another temptation to resist.
- Manage your mail. Make sure your snail mail is covered, as well as your email. Unsubscribe from the promotional emails and catalogues that your favorite stores tend to send you.
- Prevent the possibility of receiving unwanted offers for new credit cards by signing up for Opt-Out Prescreen. Upon providing your information here, you will not be targeted for advertising of this nature.[14]
- Set parental controls. Because the Internet is one of the most popular ways to shop now, remember that your computer environment needs to be just as "sober" as your world offline. Avoid e-commerce sites by setting blocks on your favorite online shopping sites.[15]
- Download a good ad blocker program that will prevent personalized ads from appearing in your browser.
- One-click shopping is especially dangerous. Make it even more difficult for you to buy online by deleting your credit card number from sites that have it linked to your account. Do this even if you are also blocking those sites too.[16]
- This will create an added security; if you have found a way to rationalize being on the site, you will still have enough time to rethink your decision to make individual purchases.
EditGetting Outside Help - Enlist the support of friends and family. Secrecy is one of the major components of shopping addiction (and most addictions, for that matter).[17] So, don't be afraid to get public about your problems with shopping. Tell your friends and family what's going on, and that you may ask them for help going shopping or buying necessities—at least in the early stages of cutting down when temptation is still very high.
- Make sure that you only open up to trusted loved ones who are capable of supporting you through your push to cut down on shopping.
- Visit a therapist. A therapist can help you understand some of the possible problems that lay at the root of shopping addiction, such as depression. Although there is no standardized treatment for shopping addiction, you might expect to be prescribed antidepressants, like SSRIs.
- One commonly used method for treating addictions is a method called cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This type of therapy will help you recognize and challenge some of your thoughts related to shopping.[18]
- Therapy will also help you place less value on extrinsic motivating factors, like a desire to look successful and wealthy, and more value on intrinsic motivators, like feeling comfortable in your skin and maintaining nourishing relationships with loved ones.[19]
- Find a meeting. Group therapy for shopping addiction is an abundant and invaluable resource. Being able to share coping tips and feelings with others who have similar problems can sometimes be the difference between sobriety and relapse back into your old, unhealthy spending habits.[20]
- Look into local chapters of Debtors Anonymous or Spenders Anonymous. These are 12-step programs that can help you manage your shopping addiction on an ongoing basis.
- Use this link to locate a Debtors Anonymous meeting near you.
- Go to a credit counselor. If your shopping addiction has gotten you into serious financial trouble that you are unable to manage on your own, you may want to consider seeing a credit counselor. A credit counselor can help you deal with the massive debt that accrues as a result of shopping addiction.
- Dealing with the financial fallout of shopping addiction can be stressful alongside the emotional issues that arise with overcoming your habit. Because stress is a common trigger for relapse, a credit counselor might be an important resource.
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| How to Write and Publish a Book Posted: 15 Mar 2017 09:00 AM PDT Writing and publishing a book is no easy task. But with enough dedication, some people to help you like editors and agents, and your creative mind, you can get it done. Start by setting daily goals you can accomplish. Once you finally have a book, look at your publishing options. Do be realistic about your expectations. The prospect should be fun and not a chore. Being published is not all there is to the realm of writing. Enjoy what you're doing! EditWriting Your Book - Begin forming ideas. Write some of these ideas down. Afterward, select the ones you want.
- Some people are able to start writing with only one sentence for inspiration. Others spend months or years thinking about a story before putting a single word down.
- Whichever type of writer you are is fine. The trick is following an idea down the proverbial rabbit hole.
- Stephen King, a famous author has noted that he doesn't write ideas down in a notebook. To him "A writer's notebook is the best way in the world to immortalize bad ideas." [1] This doesn't mean that you shouldn't write ideas down in a notebook you carry around. If that works for you, grab a notebook and jot your ideas down. But be cautious about which ideas you do write down. Ask yourself, if you didn't write this idea down, would it be good enough to remember tomorrow?
- Once you find inspiration for an idea you want to pursue, start writing.
- Don't worry about errors; you can correct your writing later. You get the best stories by continuing on and not looking at the screen, obsessing over every little error. If you keep looking at the screen, chances are you will want to change everything right away instead of continuing on with the story.
- When writing a book, and hoping to get it published, you will write many drafts before it's ready to send out. Some of those drafts will probably include major changes to your story. But at the beginning, you're just trying to build a world and get your ideas on paper, or your screen.
- Focus on building your characters. Some books are plot heavy, and that's ok. But a book that people typically want to read is really about the characters and the importance of the situation you put those characters in.
- While the plot moves a story along, it's the moments between characters that sell a book. Whether you're writing a fantasy like Harry Potter, or a strict novel like Freedom, by Jonathan Franzen.
- Focus on the "Who" you are writing about. The "When" "What" "Where" "Why" and "How" will come more naturally. [2]
- Set daily writing goals. There should not be a limit on how much you can write a day but create a minimum. It will help you focus on the story.
- Whether you set a goal of 300 words a day, or a goal of one hour, doing so will help you stay on track. 300 words a day isn't much but can be a great starting place. If you're new to writing, or very busy, give yourself a smaller goal which you can easily meet.
- Large goals are much harder to meet and will often cause you to not write at all. You are taking one step at a time, and at the end, you will have arrived at your large, final goal.
- You can increase your daily goal as you continue along, or if you have more free time to write. Just make sure you can stick to it. Even if you feel stuck in your writing, press on and reach your goal. You never know when you'll get some inspiration.
- Work in a quiet or empty place. Finding a quiet place where you can focus, and which you can make yours is invaluable to writing. Even if you write at a coffee shop, find a corner where you won't be too distracted.
- Stay diligent. Many writers start out strong but quickly become distracted, frustrated with the slow process, or bored. One of the simplest and best ways to prevent this is to simply put yourself in the chair.
- Following and reaching your daily goal will help you stay on course. The act of sitting in your chair and chiseling away will help you make reaching that goal a reality.
- Try to have a set time to write every day in addition to a daily goal. John Grisham has published many best-selling books, and he started his writing career while he was a lawyer. He got up early every morning and wrote one page.
- Make writing a habit you can't quit. Find that unique place to write and do it every day at the same time.
- Get early feedback. Even though you may be protective of your work and want to keep it hidden until "it's ready", don't. Get frequent and early feedback on your writing from people you trust to be honest with you.
- If you're not part of one already, consider joining a local writer's workshop. These groups will help you flesh out your ideas, give you feedback, and keep you accountable.
- Use the internet. If you're nervous about showing someone you know your work, find an online forum where you can get feedback and bounce ideas back and forth. Places like /r/Writing on Reddit.com offer options for you to get help on your work. [3]
EditEditing Your Book and Preparing to Publish - Categorize your book. Once you finish your story, make sure it follows the guidelines which publishers Allen and Unwin follow:
- Junior fiction
- For beginner readers, aged 5-8, word length 5,000-10,000
- For confident readers, aged 7-10, word length 10,000-30,000
- For middle readers, aged 11-14, word length 30,000-55,000
- Young adult novels
- For teenage readers, aged 13-16, word length 40,000-60,000
- For mature teenage and older readers, aged 15+, word length 40,000-100,000
- For a total list and for more information and writing and publishing, go to "Submission Guidelines" on the Allen and Unwin website. [1]
- Recheck and re-edit your story. Don't feel like you have to stop looking at your story at a certain point. Edit as many times as you need to.
 - While you do need to edit and give the editing process as much attention as, if not more than the actual writing, you also need a break. You've been living inside this story you've created and now it's time for a vacation. Giving yourself time will help you get into the editing mindset. Because, as the editor, you have to look at your work with a cold eye, ready to chop up it up and make changes.
- When you do start editing, edit as much as you need to, but don't keep editing if you don't know what the problem is. If you don't have a concrete solution, you'll chop up your story and have no idea how to put it back together.
- Over-editing is possible and dangerous, so get others to check your work. Another pair of eyes can spot gaps that you overlooked because you're so close to your work.
- Get someone you trust to give you notes and feedback. So far, you've been operating in a vacuum. There will be parts that need work that will be hard for you find on your own.
- Read others' notes, and then put the notes away. You probably won't like what someone else's notes are. So read the notes, decompress, and after some time go back and incorporate the ones which are helpful. Discard the ones which aren't.
- Get an editor to look over your book. After you've made a pass, or several at your book, it's time to get a real editor to look at your work. Editing is not the same as writing. You will need someone who knows how to deconstruct a book, find the issues, and give you advice on how to put it back together. [4]
- A professional editor is especially valuable if you're going to self-publish. The last thing you want is a glaring, yet silly, spelling error in your book after all of your hard work.
- The right editor will be able to bring clarity and flow to your narrative without changing your voice. [5]
- Your editor will bring a much needed objective eye to your work and will help you not only fix those small errors but help you find the true story underneath all the extra stuff you don't need.
- An editor will also, at the end of the day, make your book look professional.
- Do a final check to make sure you're ready to publish. After you and your editor have revised your book to its final form, make sure everything is in order.
- Make sure you have a good title you're ready to stick with.
- Start building buzz on social media. Create a Facebook page and Twitter profile for your book. Post frequently with updates about what's going on, next steps, and other exciting information.
EditPublishing Your Book - Consider getting an agent. Agents are people who will work for you and help you get your book published and sold. These people have industry contacts to help you. Agents are also elusive and not easy to get a hold of if you're new. [6]
- You won't always need an agent. If you plan to go the self-publishing route, you may find that an agent is something you can do without.
- Look for agents on sites like PublishersMarketplace.com. Here you can search many profiles and see what kinds of work are getting published. [7]
- Make sure to read over the agent's submission guidelines before you submit your materials. You will most commonly need:
- Query Letter. A one-page pitch letter that describes your work.
- Book Synopsis. A brief summary of your story.
- Nonfiction proposal (if you're writing for nonfiction). This is a very detailed document, usually around twenty to thirty pages, that outlines your argument for why your book deserves to be published. [8]
- Sample chapters, or your whole manuscript.
- Research different publishers. You may choose to self-publish, but getting published by a big name publisher is better for getting a larger audience. [9]
- Some publishers only choose to publish or even read solicited material, manuscripts which have gone through an agent.
- Agents and publishers also like material which either comes from already known authors or writers. However, this doesn't mean you can't attract the attention of either. These people will want to see that you have a following, and are being self-promotional on social media.
- Some publishers such as Penguin or Allen & Unwin will also look at your manuscript if you aren't represented by an agent.
- Check out self-publishing options. [10] Self-publishing might sound like a way to circumvent a bunch of people who will just say "no" to you. But it's hard work, and the reason there are people who publish books is because these people know how to best do it. If you're going to self-publish, you have to find a good distributor if you're going to publish hard copies. You can also self-publish your story as an ebook through Amazon's self-publishing site. [11]
- Narrow your publishing options. Once you have decided on a few publishers (the more the better), start researching these publishers more in-depth.
- Some choose to publish for adults only and in selected genres while others may have a wider range of books that are accepted.
- All information should be available on the publisher's websites. Some have different guidelines and word limits, or whether your book need be solicited or not.
- Almost all publishers require a hard copy (printed) manuscript of your story. Also, keep in mind the specifications. Some publishers prefer double spaced lines, with a certain type of font in a certain size, etc.
- Stick to what is specified. Do not send emailed copies or ones on a disc, unless stated you may.
- Never send in your original or only copy of anything. You will not get your materials back.
- Consider self-publishing online. Self-publishing an ebook is a viable and popular option. The biggest opportunity for this method is Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing. You can simply upload your manuscript to the program and begin to sell copies.
- The KDP service is free to use, however, Amazon will keep up to 70% of your profits.
- If you are self-publishing online, make sure that you have gotten your book edited professionally and have had the cover designed by a professional graphic designer.
- All the work of promoting your book will also fall on you when you use this method.
- Be realistic. You're most likely not going to become the next breakout hit with your first book. You won't gain fame overnight. It takes several books and many years to gain a solid reputation in most cases.
- Wait and stay patient. Send your copies to all available publishers that you can.
- It may take up to four months or more, to get your book reviewed.
- If you get a "yes" from a publisher, well done! You get to see it in the stores! However, the publisher may not advertise it for you. That will fall to an agent. The good news is getting an agent after you have a book deal is easier. But remember, that in most cases, the advertising usually falls on you.
- Remember; regardless of your age, most publishers will still publish for you if your story is good. Be prepared to take criticism and use it wisely.
- Always edit your own work before submitting it. No publishing company will accept your work if it's full of spelling and grammatical errors or inconsistencies. Also consider a professional editor to help you.
- Keep writing! While everyone has a different editing style, most people find it most helpful to write as much as possible while the ideas are fresh and revise the story later.
- Toss the "rules of writing" out the window. There are mechanics to the language: punctuation, general sentence structure, etc. However, never be tied down with what you read online when it concerns rules such as "never write in the passive language," to "avoid using said," or to "never use adverbs." Editing can always come after and clean your up your work.
- Remember publisher/agent etiquette. Always follow submission rules. Patience is the key. After a month or two with no reply, then perhaps you can try others. Remember, unsolicited work generally is left until later and can take many months to get to.
- Publishers won't always advertise your book. That's up to you, the author. A publisher will market it out, but not advertise it except for maybe on the website. Tell friends and family, and put fliers up around your city/town. Create social media pages to create buzz. Sometimes you may even get a local bookstore to advertise your book.
- Try numerous publishers. Some will take interest in you while some won't.
- If you have an idea, just start writing and don't stop if you feel discouraged. Actually sitting down to write can be the hardest part.
- Stick to the story you are currently writing. If you have another idea, jot it down, and try to see where you can wedge it in without leading the story into a completely different direction.
- Don't think about whether people will like it or not. Not everyone likes every genre and type of story.
- Plan your story out first; you're less likely to go off-track. It will also help you remember little details.
- Always plan before you write. Whether it is in your mind or on paper, plan before you write. It will lower the risk of you creating a jumbled story.
- If a publisher says no keep trying. J.K Rowling had to accept rejection 14 times for Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone until she found a publisher who loved it.
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| How to Become a Well Rounded Person Posted: 15 Mar 2017 01:00 AM PDT |
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