| How to Make Butterbeer Posted: 16 Dec 2016 04:00 PM PST Have you always wished you could swing by the Three Broomsticks for a refreshing glass of butterbeer? You may not get to have a round with Harry and Hermione, but you can certainly make this brew in your own kitchen. Read on for four different butterbeer recipes - frozen, hot, or fancy. EditIngredients EditFrozen Butterbeer - 1 pint vanilla ice cream (softened)
- 1/2 stick butter (softened)
- 1/3 cup brown sugar
- 2 teaspoons cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon grated nutmeg
- 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
- 1 quart apple cider
- 1 teaspoon of vanilla
EditHot Butterbeer - 1 cup cream soda
- 1/2 cup butterscotch syrup
- 1/2 tablespoon butter
- Whipped cream
EditFancy Butterbeer - 1 cup light or dark brown sugar
- 2 tablespoons water
- 6 tablespoons butter
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 3/4 cup heavy cream, divided
- 4 shots of rum
- 4 12-ounce bottles cream soda
EditCold Butter Beer For Children - 1/2 stick butter
- 2 teaspoons of cinnamon
- 2 teaspoons of white sugar
- 1 pint+1 teaspoon of vanilla
- 1 quart apple cider
- 1 cup cream soda
- whipped cream
- caramel
EditFrozen Butterbeer - Mix the cream, butter, sugar and spices together.
- Beat in the vanilla ice cream until the combination is thoroughly mixed.
- Re-freeze the mixture. Place it in the freezer until it's firm.
- Scoop out the frozen mixture into a glass.
- Pour hot Apple cider over the ice cream mixture.
EditHot Butterbeer - Melt the butter in a saucepan.
- Mix in the butterscotch.
- Pour the mixture into a large bowl.
- Carefully add the club soda.
- Ladle the butterbeer into serving glasses.
EditFancy Butterbeer - Boil the sugar and water. Place a saucepan over medium heat. Add the sugar and water and bring them to a boil. Stir the mixture until the temperature reaches 240 degrees. Check the temperature frequently with a candy thermometer.[1]
- Stir in the butter, salt, and 1/4 cup of cream.
- Set the mixture aside to cool.
- Stir in the rum once the mixture has cooled.
- Beat 2 tablespoons of the cooled mixture with the remaining cream. Transfer the remaining cream to a mixing bowl. Measure out 2 tablespoons of the cooled mixture, and add it to the cream. Beat together until the cream is fluffy and whipped.
- Pour equal parts of the caramel butter mixture into four glasses.
- Top the glasses off with cream soda and stir.
- Add whipped cream.
EditCold Butter Beer For Children - Stir butter with cinnamon, white sugar, and vanilla in a mixing bowl.
- Blend that mixture with vanilla, apple cider, and cream soda in a blender.
- Pour into glasses and top with whipped cream and caramel. This will make a tasty treat of 6 servings.
- The hot butterbeer method requires a large bowl, or it will spill everywhere. Even a small amount will fizz to about 3 times its original height.
- Add whipped cream to the frozen butterbeer for an decorative and flavorful touch.
- If desired, add an ounce of rum to any of these recipes for an adult treat.
EditRelated wikiHows EditSources and Citations
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| How to Stop Breastfeeding Without Pain Posted: 16 Dec 2016 08:00 AM PST Not all women experience pain during the weaning process, especially if they follow the baby's lead and wean the baby gradually. However, some women do experience discomfort during the weaning process, whether they are weaning from the breast or from pumping. Discovering effective ways to reduce pain while weaning can help breastfeeding mothers accomplish their goal with greater ease. Thankfully there are simple steps that nursing mothers can take to help make the weaning process a little smoother. EditBeginning the Process - Start slowly. Begin the weaning process in a gradual, slow manner. Any abrupt cessation of breastfeeding will confuse your body and cause pain (or worse) from engorgement. If you abruptly stop nursing, your body is less likely to handle the transition smoothly, and you are more likely to experience pain.
- Your body has prepared itself to meet your baby's nutritional needs based on how often your baby nurses. Your body has not been prepared to stop producing milk at a quick rate. It needs time to realize that the milk is no longer needed.
- Painful side effects of stopping abruptly include engorgement, mastitis, and plugged ducts.[1]
- If you wean gradually, it will take as long for your milk to dry up as it does to wean, which means anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. If you stop breastfeeding suddenly, the length of time for your milk to dry up depends on how much milk you are producing at the time. If you are producing a lot of milk, it can still take several weeks or months.[2]
- Watch your baby for signs of weaning. Your baby will most likely let you know when he or she is ready to wean, such as an interest in solid food and a loss of interest in nursing. However, babies should not be taken completely off of mother's milk or formula until at least 12 months, and they should not drink cow's milk until this age as well.
 - You can follow the philosophy of baby-lead weaning, which means allowing the baby to eat table food whenever he or she starts reaching for food.[3] Your baby will gradually eat more food than breast milk over the next few months.
- Follow your intuition with regards to your baby's readiness for weaning. Remember that you are the mother and no one can know your baby better than you. Listen to your baby.
- Remember that every baby is different. Every mother is different too. Learn from the experiences of others but don't take them as gospel if you feel differently. Your own experiences are your best guide.
- At around five to six months, babies may want other foods despite not having teeth. You can tell they are ready for food by increased fussiness, ability to sit up without much help, watching you eat with interest, and chewing motions.[4]
- Some people think that you have to start weaning when the baby starts teething, but this is not true. It is okay to keep breast feeding your baby even when he starts teething. Just keep in mind that some babies will bite when they are nursing after they develop teeth, but gently telling your baby this is not okay should be enough to make him stop.
- Introduce food. To get to the point where food is the main source of nutrition, you should begin slowly. Baby's digestive system is still developing, and he or she will need either breastmilk or formula until about 12 months. Start at around four months with baby cereal and progress to table food.
- When introducing an exclusively breastfed baby to food for the first time, express some breastmilk and mix it into a single-grain baby cereal. This will make it more appetizing and easier for the baby to chew. Food should be introduced at around six months.[5]
- Between four and eight months, you can introduce pureed fruits, veggies, and meats.
- At nine to 12 months, you can offer non-pureed finger foods such as rice, teething biscuits, and ground meat.
- Start to cut out feedings. If your baby nurses every three hours, at around nine months you can start nursing every four to five hours.[6] Or you can simply skip over baby's least favorite feeding (or the most difficult feeding) and see if your baby notices. If not, keep skipping it.[7]
- A few days or weeks later, skip another nursing and see if your baby notices. If your baby continues to adapt to the skipped feedings, you can continue this trend up until the last feeding.
- You may want to keep the early morning and bedtime feedings until the very end. For one thing, you have more milk in the morning after a long night without nursing, so keeping this feeding will prevent engorgement. And the evening feeding is probably part of a comforting bedtime routine, as well as a way to help baby feel full and sleep better. The evening feeding is usually the last one to go.[8]
- Cut out middle of the night feedings by having your partner or someone else comfort the baby.[9]
- Substitute formula for breastmilk. If you are trying to wean before your baby is 12 months old, you need to replace breastmilk with formula. Substituting breastmilk with formula one feeding at a time for several weeks each will eventually wean both you and the baby.[10]
- Experiment by switching out the breast for the bottle. If you usually offer the breast each time the baby wants to feed, try offering the bottle first and see what happens.
- Alternatively, if you nurse the baby to sleep, when they are just starting to fall asleep, slip the breast out of their mouth and slip in the bottle's nipple. This may help your baby get used to the taste and the bottle nipple without even realizing it.
- If your baby won't take a bottle, try different things, like having someone else (like dad) try, offering the bottle when the baby is tired, or use a sippy cup instead.
- If your baby is over 12 months, you can substitute breastmilk with whole cow's milk.
- Reduce pumping sessions slowly. If you are mostly or exclusively pumping, you still need to wean off of pumping and take your time doing so. The same principles of weaning from the breast apply: reduce the number of pumping sessions per day. The first step is to reduce to two pumpings a day, preferably 12 hours apart.[11]
- Wait a few days between dropping pumpings.
- Once you are down to two pumping sessions per day, reduce the length of each pumping session.
- Then reduce it to one pumping per day, staying here for a few days.
- Reduce the duration of this last pumping session.
- Once you are only getting two or three ounces from a pumping session, you can stop pumping altogether.
- All the same steps apply to weaning from pumping if you feel engorged, blocked ducts, or general pain.
EditPracticing Self Care - Use cold compresses to reduce engorgement. Cold compresses, like a gel ice pack or cold wash cloth, can restrict blood vessels in the breasts, leading to lowered milk production. Cold compresses can also reduce pain and raise your comfort level.[12]
- There are bras on the market that come with gel packs you can freeze and slip inside a pocket over your breast.
- If you don't want to spend money, just get a washcloth wet with ice-cold water and slip it between your breast and the bra cup. Replace the cloth often or freeze it first, as body heat makes cloths warm up very quickly.
- Avoid pumping and nipple stimulation. Both activities can make your body think the baby is sucking and that you need to produce more milk. This of course defeats the purpose of drying up your milk.[13]
- However, if you are truly engorged, it's not safe to leave the milk there as it can block ducts. Instead, hand express or pump out just enough milk to relieve the pain. Be careful to only pump this small amount, and your body will still decrease its milk supply.[14]
- A warm shower can assist in hand expressing the milk, but you should not use this as a solution often, as it can increase milk supply.
- Place some nursing pads against your nipples if leakage becomes a problem, which it can if you become engorged. Many women are embarrassed when leakage presents itself through their clothing. The pads are an effective way to promote absorption.
- Try cabbage compresses. Cabbage leaves have been used for centuries to help hasten the drying up process of breastmilk. To create a place for cabbage compresses to remain stationary, wear a well-fitting bra even during sleep. Too small or too large of a bra will be uncomfortable.
- Cabbage leaves release enzymes that encourage the drying up process, so be sure to crush the leaves by folding or rolling them with a rolling pin before applying to your breasts; this releases the enzymes.[15]
- Place one large, cool cabbage leaf into each cup of your bra and keep replacing them when they are wilted for 24 to 48 hours.
- Avoid bras that contain underwire.
- If the cabbage leaves don't work after a few days, stop using them and find another method for reducing pain and drying up milk, like cold compresses.
- Massage the breasts. Start a massage routine immediately if you feel lumps in your breasts. If this occurs, it probably signifies that a plugged milk duct is present. Begin paying extra attention to the area and increase massage time to it. The point is to break the plug up with massage.
- Warm showers can be beneficial in helping massage work more effectively, but they are not recommended, as warm water can increase milk production.
- Place warm compresses, like a warm wash cloth, on the breast before massaging and a cold compress, like a cold pack or cold wash cloth, after massaging.[16]
- Watch for the development of any sore, red areas, or a fever. This can indicate mastitis.
- Seek medical attention if the massage efforts fail to unplug a duct within a day or so. If the symptoms worsen or if fever takes place, it is possible that the plugged duct has progressed to a condition known as mastitis. If you suspect that this is the case, contact your healthcare provider immediately, as mastitis can have serious complications if not treated quickly and properly.
- Ask for pain relief advice. Speak to your healthcare provider about the use of ibuprofen as a pain reducer if pain becomes too great to bear and no home remedies are working.
- A medication called paracetamol, also known as acetaminophen, can also offer relief.[17]
- Be aware of mood swings. Keep in mind that the hormonal changes of reducing milk supply can affect your moods. Weaning is a psychological experience as well as physical. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling.
- Don't be ashamed of wanting to cry during weaning. You will probably feel a bit sad, and tears are a way to help you grieve the end of this season of closeness with your baby.
- Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Continue to eat a well-balanced diet and stay hydrated. Promoting good health is always an effective way to help the body function better.
- Remain taking your pre-natal vitamins to ensure proper nutrition to the body as it tries to adjust to the changes occurring.
- Try to get a full night's rest each night. The body is going through serious changes and it could use some help from you. Sleep is one of the best ways for the body to regenerate and heal itself.
- Speak to a health professional. Speak to someone who specializes in the subject of breastfeeding, such as a lactation consultant. Lactation consultants can be found in the maternity wing of hospitals and sometimes at pediatric offices, as well as independently in the community. Ask around or look on the internet to find one.
- Ask questions about your individual situation so that you can apply their valuable advice in the most accurate way possible.
- Many centers offer educational seminars, meetings, or classes for breastfeeding mothers wishing to learn more about the weaning process. These professionals can often be your best resource for finding real life tips from those who have experience with breastfeeding and weaning.
- Talk to experienced mothers. If you encounter other weaning problems that you aren't finding answers to, talk to other moms. Find out what their weaning process was like. You may be surprised to hear some of the tips that others have to offer. Many times, other moms can be an excellent source of information for nursing, weaning, and other parenting tips.
- Write down what they say and refer to their tips throughout your own weaning process.
EditAnticipating Your Baby's Needs - Comfort your baby. Keep in mind that your baby may be having some difficulty adjusting to the change. Not only did she lose her mother's breasts, she lost her comfort time with her mom. Find alternative ways to comfort and reassure your baby that do not involve the breast.[18]
- Spend more time cuddling and showing affection, like extra hugs and kisses. This helps the baby get used to the reduced physical contact of weaning.
- Spend more time one-on-one.
- Ignore stimulants like TV, phone apps and communications, reading, pretty much anything that would divide your attention.
- Work extra cuddling into your routine so that you don't forget to do it, and so that you can have a specified time frame for ignoring your phone.
- Distract your baby. Use distraction methods to prevent your baby from craving your breasts. Distraction can be accomplished easily and in many different ways. Anything that averts your baby's attention from the breast is a successful distraction tactic.[19]
- During a time that you would usually nurse, get your baby involved in a fun game or outing to help them forget about it.
- Avoid sitting in spots that you usually nurse in.
- Switch up the daily routine so that you aren't doing things in the same order as when you were breastfeeding.
- Rearrange the furniture in the room where you usually nurse to help the baby stop associating the room with nursing.
- Get your partner involved in games and other activities to keep baby distracted during a feeding time, such as having your partner take the baby on an outing without you.
- Don't discourage the baby from forming an attachment to a blanket or stuffed animal, as this assists in the emotional adjustment of the weaning process.
- Remain patient with your baby. Babies and toddlers can be fussy and irritable during the weaning process because they are reacting to change. This time will pass, and you and your baby will move on to another chapter in your lives before you know it, and staying patient while both you and they make the transition is important.
- Play with your baby or toddler, as this is their most important method of learning and experimenting, as well as communicating.[20]
- When your baby gets into a crying jag while you are weaning and it's not time to nurse, you can do things like take a personal timeout by placing baby in the crib or letting your partner take over for a few minutes, take a walk with the stroller, or quietly sing and pat the baby.[21]
- La Leche League is a breastfeeding support organization, and their website is a detailed and essential resource for any new breastfeeding mom, from newborn stage all the way through nursing. You can find them online and search for a group that meets near your home.
- Don't try to wean a baby at a time when they are sick or likely to get sick. Nursing during an illness is one of the best ways to keep the baby hydrated and heal more quickly.[22]
- If there is another big change going on in a baby's life, such as a tooth erupting, another baby on the way, or moving to a new home, delay weaning until after the baby has adjusted to this change in order to reduce stress.
- You want to wear a tight-fitting bra during weaning to help support you, but do not bind your breasts because it can cause mastitis and clogged milk ducts.[23]
- Seek professional assistance if during the course of weaning depression becomes prolonged and intense.
- Avoid spending extra time in the shower as the warm water can stimulate milk production.
- Get medical attention if signs of mastitis become apparent. Mastitis requires proper treatment and should never be ignored. Antibiotics are the general course of treatment. Mastitis symptoms include:[24]
- fever over 101 degrees Fahrenheit
- red skin, shaped liked a wedge or in a wedged pattern
- swelling in the breast
- breast tenderness
- feelings of illness / loss of energy
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Overcome Envy Posted: 16 Dec 2016 12:00 AM PST No matter how hard you try to cover it with a smile, envy isn't something that goes away on its own. It can spiral out of control into destructive jealousy and even depression. So what can you do to curb envy before it consumes you? Learning to avoid comparing yourself to others, to feel more gratitude for what you have and practice tricks to reset your perspective can help overcome envy before it gets out of control. Keep reading to learn more about how to overcome envy. EditUnderstanding Envy - Know the difference between envy and jealousy. Envy and jealousy are not the same thing, but they are often confused. It is important to know the difference between envy and jealousy to determine which emotion you are feeling. Jealousy is a reaction to the threat of losing something you already possess. Envy is a reaction to a something you think you lack.[1]
- For example, jealousy is what you feel when you see your girlfriend flirting with another guy. Envy is what you feel when you see a friend driving up in a brand new sports car.
- Think about how envy harms you. How has envy impacted your life in a negative way? Maybe a long-term friendship is on the verge of dissolving because you can't pretend to be happy for your friend anymore, so you avoid her calls. Maybe you check your ex's Facebook page obsessively to glare at pictures of him and his fiancée. Maybe you hate-read a classmate's photography blog, wishing you had anything close to his artistic ability. These are all examples of the way envy saps energy that could be better spent on something more positive. Envy might be harming you in the following ways:[2]
- Taking up your time
- Consuming your thoughts
- Ruining your personal and professional relationships
- Warping your personality
- Creating negativity
- Identify the reason why you are envious. Before you can deal with your envy in a constructive way, you need to figure out what is causing it. If you feel envy over your friend's new sport's car, take some time to examine the reason why you feel envious. Ask yourself questions to identify the cause of your envy before dealing with your envy.[3]
- For example, are you envious because you want a car like the one he has? Or are you envious of his ability to afford something so expensive?
- Write about your feelings. Journaling is a great way to express your feelings and deal with negative emotions. Journaling about your envy may help you to start to understand it better and begin to deal it. Start by writing down the reason that you feel envious. Describe the source of your envy in as much detail as you can. Try to determine why you are envious of this person.[4]
- For example, you might write about your friend driving up in his new sports car and how that made you feel. What was your mood like at the time? How did you feel when he pulled up? What did you feel like doing/saying? What did you actually do/say? How did you feel after he left? How do you feel thinking back on it? What would you like to feel?
- Consider talking to a friend about your envious feelings. Telling a supportive friend or family member how you are feeling may help you feel better and help you to express your emotions. Choose someone who is not closely involved with the person you envy. Also, make sure to choose someone who will be supportive and who will listen to you. Choosing someone who will brush off your feelings or who will not offer good support may make you feel worse.
- Consider seeking help from a therapist if you can't move past your envy on your own. For some people, envy can interfere with daily life and happiness. Without help, it may be hard to understand your envy and determine the best way to deal with those feelings. A licensed mental health professional can help you to understand these feelings and help you work through them.
EditTurning Envy into Something Positive - Stop judging yourself so harshly. When you're envious of someone else, it often stems from feelings of personal inadequacy. You're focused on how someone else has the career, partner, possessions, or intelligence you want, and these desires are rooted in what you perceive to be your own shortcomings. Try to back down from judging yourself so harshly and you won't be as inclined to compare your situation unfavorably to someone else's.[5]
- For example, maybe you're envious of your friend's amazing career, which has taken off while yours is still in its fledgling stage. Try to be more patient with yourself - you'll get your turn in the spotlight if you just keep working hard.
- Envy stems from being judgmental in general - thinking that this is better than that, and making your decisions based on getting what you don't have. Try to be more open minded instead of deciding that some qualities are good to have and some aren't.
- Forgive the person you envy and yourself. Forgiveness is an important part of moving past envy because resenting someone for their success will only weigh you down.[6] One exercise that may help you to deal with envy is to declare your forgiveness for the person that you envy (not in their presence, of course) and for yourself as well. Simply take a moment when you are alone to verbalize your forgiveness.
- Remember that you are not forgiving the other person for wrongdoing. You are choosing to view their situation from their perspective. By considering their perspective, you can empathize with their pride and accomplishments in a compassionate way.
- For example, you might say something like, "I am proud with Sharon for having so much success in her career. I also forgive myself for being behind her on my path to success."
- Turn your envy into appreciation. To overcome envy, it is important to appreciate what you already have as well as what the person you envy has earned.[7] One way that you can start to change your perspective and overcome your envy is to find a way to appreciate the success or fortune of others. Work on developing a sense of happiness for the person who achieved or obtained what you envy them for. For example, try to be happy for a friend who can afford a sports car and change your envy into admiration.
- It might help you to state your admiration out loud. For example, you might say to your friend, "Congratulations on the new car! I am really happy for you and all of your success."
- Use your envy to generate a goal. Once you have identified the cause of your envy, you can deal with it in a constructive way by turning it into something positive, such as a goal. Using your envy to form a realistic, achievable goal will help you to stop dwelling on your negative feelings and feel empowered to change something in your life for the better.
- For example, if you are envious of a friend's new sports car because you wish you had the financial freedom to afford something like that, make it your goal to earn and/or save more money.
- Break larger goals into smaller, measurable goals. For example, if your goal is to earn and/or save more money. One of your smaller goals might be to look for a higher paying job or find out about opportunities for advancement at your current job. Another small goal might be to save $20 per week.
EditAvoiding Comparison - Live by your own definition of success. Are you evaluating yourself and other people based on superficial ideas of what it means to be successful? Success does not necessarily mean having a big house, two cars and a high-powered job, or being so beautiful that people can't stop staring. Success is about finding out what life is best for you and living it to the very fullest. If you worry less about society's standards for success, and focus instead on what gets you going every day, you'll be less likely to fall into comparing yourself to other people so much.[8]
- Remember that it's ok to be at a different stage in your life than other people. For instance, just because you might not have the job or partner you want yet, doesn't mean you're any less of a person than the person you're envious of. Life is not a serious of boxes we all check off on our way to happiness. Everyone travels a different path, and no one's is more meaningful or better than anyone else's.
- Realize you don't know the whole story. It might look like someone else has it all - the perfect boyfriend, great hair, straight As, you name it. However, there is always more to the story, because it's impossible for anyone to have a perfect life. If someone seems to have everything you want, chances are you have something they want, too. Don't put people up on a pedestal and grind your teeth thinking they must have been born under a lucky star. You may not ever know what their weakness is - after all, most people are adept at hiding their imperfections - but you can be sure it's there.
- Reflecting on the fact that everyone has a struggle, need, or want may be enough to remind you that everyone is in the same boat. It's not necessary to go digging to find out what soft spots the person has! Rest assure there is something you aren't seeing. Try to put aside your thoughts of envy and focus on yourself.
- Remember that others' success doesn't impact yours. Let's say that someone you know started a running regimen, lost 20 pounds and just completed her first marathon. Sure, the person made a great achievement, but there's nothing stopping you from doing the same thing! Your success in life does not hinge on someone else's. Whether it comes to finding love, getting a good job or anything else you want, you can have it, regardless of how successful someone else might be.
EditFeeling Gratitude - Focus on your talents and assets. Now that you've stopped comparing yourself to other people, let's focus on what you have going for you. Channel your energy into your good qualities, so you become better and better at what you do and who you are. When you're focused on perfecting that cello song or writing an amazing thesis, there's not time to worry about what other people are doing.[9]
- When you find your mind drifting to the realm of what you don't have, make a conscious effort to think about what you do have. Do this every single time you feel those pangs of envy. If you refuse to let your mind dwell, and focus instead on what makes you special and great, you'll start having a much more positive outlook.
- Realize that not everyone has what you have - in fact, your talents and assets might even be the source of others' envy.
- Be thankful for your loved ones. Imagine the people who care about you and would do anything for you, and think about what you'd do for them. Focusing on the people who make your life feel full is a positive way to cancel out feelings of envy. Instead of thinking that your life is lacking something, be thankful for the people who are there. Being grateful is a lot like being mindful. It's about focusing on the present and turning your thoughts to what is already good in your life, instead of thinking about what's lacking.
- Change what you can change, accept what you can't. It's important to know what you can change and what is beyond your control. Spend energy working to improve the former and don't waste your time on the latter, because there's nothing you can do about it. If you dwell on things you can't change, you'll end up feeling extremely negative, and maybe even becoming depressed. You have a finite amount of time to spend, and you don't want to waste it on something that's not going to budge.
- For example, if you wish you had your friend's musical talent, and you want nothing more than to be a singer-songwriter, try your best to become what you want to be. Pour your soul into making music, take voice lessons, perform at open mic nights - give it all you've got. If you think you have a shot at making it in the music scene, or you just feel so passionate about music that you want to spend your life singing, don't let anything stop you.
- On the other hand, there are some things in life that aren't affected by hard work and strong desire. If you're in love with your friend's wife, and they're happily married, you're going to have to accept that this is something you can't change. It's important to come to a place of acceptance before your envy turns into an extremely negative force.
- Spend time with grateful people. If your friends are the type to constantly compare jobs, partners and kids, complain about what they don't have and cut down people who do, you might want to start spending time with different people. If you spend enough time with people who aren't grateful for what they have, you're going to end up feeling that way, too. Be around people who are content - not rub-it-in-your-face content, but happy enough that they don't slam other people or constantly complain. Find friends who are nonjudgmental, generous, and kind, and you'll start feeling that way about yourself and others, too.
EditResetting Perspective - Start a gratitude journal. If it has been awhile since you thought about the good things in your life, take out a pen and a piece of paper and start writing them down. A gratitude journal can be a great way of helping you change your perspective and appreciate what you have. If a journal isn't your style, consider starting a video blog (aka vlog) or drawing in a sketchbook. Since envy is about your perception of what you lack, put some time and energy into reminding yourself of what you have. Here are a few ideas to include in your journal:
- Your talents
- Your favorite physical features
- Your best friend
- Your dog
- Your favorite foods
- Things that make you laugh
- Memories that make you smile
- Future occasions to which you're looking forward
- Favorite items you own
- Accomplishments
- Focus only on positive things for a day. If you're an envious person who keeps it completely to yourself, you might not need to try this trick. However, if envy has consumed your personality and made you more negative than you'd like to be, try going a full day without making one complaint. It's not something you could do forever - after all, it's OK to feel annoyed about things now and then! - but foregoing complaining for a day might show you just how often you open your mouth to say something negative. If you find yourself keeping quiet for most of the day, the experience could be quite telling.
- If you give this a try, consider all complaining off limits - even complaints about yourself. No cutting yourself down, comparing yourself unfavorably to someone else, or wishing things were different.
- You might realize that your complaining impacts those around you as well. It's really not fun to be around someone who is constantly seeing the glass as half empty. Changing your attitude could result in improved relationships.
- Stay away from negative input for a week. "Negative input" means anything that feeds your envy and makes you wish for something you don't or can't have. The more obsessive it makes you, the worse it is for your psyche, so try going without it for a week to see if you feel better. Here are a few examples of negative input:
- Advertisements. If you're constantly seeing ads for clothes you can't afford, for example, you might feel envious of those who have nice clothes. The ads are making your envy worse. You might have to stop watching TV and read a novel instead of fashion magazines for a week.
- Social media. If you feel stung by the "humble" braggarts when you log into Facebook, you aren't alone. In fact, studies show that envy increases with Facebook use.[10] If you tend to lurk on Facebook and other social media a lot, turn it off for at least a week.
- Remind yourself that you are in control. If you often feel envious of things that people have, remind yourself that you could have those things too, but you choose not to. For example, if you really wanted a designer wardrobe, you could rack up a massive amount of credit card debt, but maybe you don't do that because you value your credit. If you are making wise choices for yourself (like avoiding credit card debt), you should feel proud of those decisions.[11]
- Compliment five people per day. Try to make it five new people each day, so you aren't complimenting the same people over and over. Compliment each person on something you genuinely admire about that person - don't take the easy route and compliment on something too shallow. Taking the time to think about what you really like about people, and then expressing that out loud, will help your mind stay in a positive place. You won't be as worried about comparing yourself to others.
- Research has suggested that complimenting the person you envy can benefit you. Look for ways to compliment the person you envy on their hard work and other attributes that you value.[12]
- Volunteer. If you can't wrench your mind away from thoughts of what you don't have, spend time helping people who don't have much at all. Sometimes we fall into mental ruts that make it all but impossible to see how good we have it. Give yourself a dose of reality by volunteering in a soup kitchen, hospital, or animal shelter for a day.[13] Reflect on your experience afterward. Helping other people can enable you see how rich you really are, and how much positive energy you have to offer the world.
- Do your best to resist the urge to compare yourself with others. Focus on improving yourself, not being like other people.
- Try to think of envy as an opportunity to improve yourself, not as a reason to feel bad about yourself.
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