| How to Write Stand Up Comedy Posted: 23 Apr 2022 09:00 AM PDT If your family and friends have told you that you are a funny person, you may have considered trying stand-up comedy. If you're interested, writing stand-up is definitely something you can learn to do! We've put together this article to provide you with answers to some of the most common questions people have about writing jokes. [Edit]How do I come up with stand-up comedy topics? - Get personal. Stand-up comedy is often more funny when the jokes are about personal issues, feelings, or opinions. Think of yourself as the main character in your act and use real life, personal experiences to help you come up with topics for your jokes.[1]
- Think about things you love, things you dislike, and things that annoy you.
- For example, if you have a love of Renaissance festivals, think about whether you always wear a costume that gets you funny looks in public or if there are certain "types" of people who attend the festivals that you could describe in a funny way.
- If you dislike subway rides, describe how annoying the subway is – people sitting too close, a couple making out in the corner, the one guy who always has his music playing without headphones.
- Build on a story. If you've already got a funny story you like to tell, use it for the base of your jokes. Build on it by telling jokes or other stories that are related.[2]
- For example, if you have a really funny story about going to a theme park, use that as your base story. Then write other jokes related to theme parks – they could be about the food, waiting in line, or dealing with kids.
- Use the news as inspiration. Look for news stories that strike you as particularly ridiculous or funny or outrageous. Then make it personal using the following formula: "X happened in the news. If I did that/if that happened to me..." and fill in the rest.[3]
- Not everything that comes out of this exercise will be funny, but you'll occasionally get some good stuff!
- For example, if you see a news story about politicians behaving badly, you could use that. You could start the joke by saying something like: "Senator Smith just spent $100,000 on a private plane for his wife. If I spent $100,000 on a private plane I'd have a plane but no wife."
[Edit]What are some stand-up comedy writing exercises? - Record your thoughts on the go. Carry a small notebook with you (or download a notes app to your smartphone) and take note of what you find funny. You might want to write down something someone says, or something that happens to you or someone else. It can be great material for a joke.[4]
- For example, if you see someone pushing a grocery cart into a store and almost trip and it makes you laugh, pull out your notebook and write down everything about the scene that made it funny, such as how the person looked and how they reacted to almost tripping.
- You can also record yourself saying jokes into your smartphone's voice recorder.
- Review everything you record at least once a week to retrieve your ideas.
- Write down everything you can think of about a certain topic. Don't try to force yourself to be funny, just write down whatever comes to mind. Set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and write until the timer goes off.[5]
- For example, choose the topic of travelling and write down as many funny thoughts, feelings, and stories you have about trips you've been on or travelling in general.
- Draft a few jokes based on your brainstorming. In your free-writing, you might have written down funny words, weird stories you forgot about, or even questions. All of these things can be the good foundation for jokes. Pick 1 or 2 things you like best and write out a joke based on them – your first draft should be about 250 words.[6]
- For example, if you wrote down a bunch of funny thoughts about travelling, pick 1-2 of the funniest ideas and expand them into full length jokes with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Make sure the jokes have obvious punchlines to get people laughing.
- You might start a joke by saying something like: "So I was on a plane to Mexico last week, and the lady next to me fell asleep and started to…"
[Edit]How do I write a stand-up comedy routine script? - Revise jokes to make them short enough to fit together in a routine. Once you've got some individual jokes drafted, cut them from 250 words to 100, then to 50, then to 25. This forces you to get to the nugget of what's funny in your jokes. It also helps you get rid of unnecessary context or buildup, which can distract your audience.[7]
- Comedian Jerry Seinfeld recommends compressing shorter jokes together because it helps the laughter build up. When people don't have time to stop laughing between jokes, the laughter in the room just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
- Come up with more similarly-themed jokes to fill in your routine script. Think about the topics your current jokes are about and then think of more funny emotions and images related to those topics. Write additional jokes around these ideas to fill in your comedy routine script.[8]
- For example, if you already have a couple of jokes about waiting in the lobby of the dentist's office, try to imagine what it looks like there and how it makes you feel to come up with a few more jokes that fit into your set.
- You could say something like: "By the way, what's with every dentist's office having a fish tank? How did that get started? Fish don't even have teeth!"
- Assemble your jokes into a logical sequence. Put similar jokes one after the other. Create connections between different jokes to string them together in a way that makes sense.[9]
- For example if you have 4-5 jokes about portable toilets, say those one after another, then lead into your story about a weird experience you had in an airport bathroom by saying something like: "Speaking of toilets, this one time I was in an airport bathroom and…" From there, you can move onto some more airport jokes or jokes about other public places.
[Edit]How do you structure a 5-minute set? - Tell 2-4 jokes in the first minute. Start with your second-best joke and from there continue to tell a few more of your shorter jokes. Unless you're a really well-known comic, the audience is going to be waiting to be impressed by you. To grab their attention and impress them right away, start your second-best joke. It's quick and easy and will make your audience laugh right away.[10]
- The more laughs you can get at the beginning of your set, the better your set can turn out. It's also a chance to establish your tone – are your jokes sarcastic, or self-deprecating? Do you deliver in a monotone or with a lot of energy? Let your audience get to know you as soon as possible.
- Try to keep your jokes under 45 seconds for the next 3 minutes. This keeps your audience engaged. If you have a great joke that's over 45 seconds long, make sure it's written to have a couple of punchlines along the way. That keeps your audience laughing and sets them up for the big punchline at the end.[11]
- The most important thing for the middle part of your set is that it flows. This is where having jokes in a logical order with good transitions between them is really helpful.
- End with your best joke in the last minute. You used your second best joke to open your set to get the audience laughing quickly, so now end your set with your best joke. You want to leave the audience laughing, and ending with your best joke will make your set more memorable.[12]
- When you're actually delivering your set in real life, don't forget to repeat your name and thank the audience before you walk off stage.
- You can also end by bringing back a punchline from earlier. For example, if you had a joke at the beginning of your set about spending Christmas with your mother-in-law, you can say something like: "And that's why I'll never go to my mother-in-law's for Christmas again!"
[Edit]How do I improve my comedy writing? - Practice jokes in front of small audiences. This is a great way for amateur comedians to get a feel for what works and what doesn't work. Gather a few friends or family members together or go to a small open mic night and deliver a set to your audience. Watch carefully how people react to each joke.[13]
- A good thing about practicing in front of people you know before you move onto comedy events is that you can ask them for feedback, too.
- Move on from jokes that don't work. If you tell a joke that bombs – no one laughs and the audience is just staring at you (or worse yet, they boo) – shake it off and move on. If you get too caught up in one joke failing, the rest of your jokes might also fail because you're delivering them with the same energy or personality. Every comic bombs from time to time – it's okay![14]
- As you perform your comedy more, you start to learn when a joke isn't going to work in real time by watching your audience's reactions. Then, you can cut the joke short or modify it to try and get a laugh. This is called "editing on the fly."
- Work on shaping your comedic persona. Creating a unique comedic persona, or style, for yourself makes it easier to write jokes. Try to determine what your style is and focus your joke writing on writing from this point of view.[15]
- For instance, maybe you're a shy, self-deprecating type of guy, or perhaps you're a self-confident girl who doesn't take you-know-what from anyone.
- If you decide your persona is going to be making fun of yourself, you can start jokes with things like: "So the other day I confirmed what I've known for a while now – I'm really bad at sports."
[Edit]References |
| How to Knit a Scarf on a Loom Posted: 23 Apr 2022 01:00 AM PDT Knitting looms create neat looking garments without the hassle of using knitting needles, counting stitches, and using knitting patterns. You can easily make a scarf with a knitting loom, and it is a great project for beginners. Try making a scarf for yourself or as a gift for a friend! [Edit]Casting Onto the Loom - Collect materials and tools for making the scarf. To knit a scarf on a loom, a few special materials and tools are needed:[1]
- A rectangular loom. 24 peg loom or larger - only the first 24 pegs (top and bottom combined) of any loom will be used. Place the loom on a table or other sturdy surface. This makes weaving a scarf with a loom easier.
- Yarn. Use a super bulky yarn or two strands of medium worsted weight yarn held together.
- Loom tool. This is a hook that comes with the loom. If you do not have a loom tool, use a crochet hook instead.
- Scissors.
- Tapestry or yarn needle.
- Make a slipstitch. To start making a scarf on a loom, make a slipstitch. Loop the yarn around the fingers twice, and pull the first loop over the second loop. Keep the loop on the fingers and tighten it by pulling on the tail of the yarn.[2]
- Tighten the slipstitch around an anchor peg. The anchor peg is on the side with one at each end of a rectangular loom. Loop the slipstitch around this peg and pull the tail to tighten it and hold it in place.[3]
- Wrap the yarn around the first peg of the lower row. The lower row is the row closest to you. Enter the loom through the middle, between the two rows of pegs. Wrap the yarn around the inside of the first peg on the lower row of the loom. Bring the yarn clockwise around the outside of the peg and back in towards the center. The yarn should form an upside-down cursive letter "e" around the peg.
- Wrap the peg tightly to maintain tension. This keeps the finished scarf looking neat.
- Wrap first peg on the upper row. Bring the yarn up towards first peg in the upper row. Wrap the yarn anticlockwise around the outside of the peg and back in towards the center. A figure eight shape forms between the upper and lower pegs.[4]
- Wrap the yarn in a figure eight fashion. Continue wrapping the yarn around the pegs, repeating the sequence used for the first two pegs. Do this until all but the last peg on the upper row is wrapped.[5]
- Loop the yarn around last peg in the opposite direction. On the last peg, wrap the yarn around the peg in the opposite direction. Bring the yarn straight up from the bottom peg, and then around the peg.[6]
- Hold end of the yarn taut with fingers.
- This will set up for completing the next round of wrapping.
[Edit]Working the Loops Off the Loom - Press down on the stitches. Before wrapping in the opposite direction, press down on the yarn between the pegs with the side of the hand. This moves the loops down on the pegs and creates room to loop the yarn around each of the pegs again.[7]
- There should be some resistance when pressing down on the yarn. This indicates good tension, which will result in a neat looking finished scarf. If the yarn feels loose or has already slid to the peg bottom on its own, then the pegs are not wrapped tightly enough. In this case, you may need to start over.
- Wrap the yarn around the stitches again. Each peg (except for the last peg wrapped) will need to have two loops on it before working the loops off the loom. To make a second pass, bring the yarn down from the last peg wrapped and around it in the same direction as the yarn from the previous pass. Bring the yarn up to the next peg moving back towards the beginning of the loom.[8]
- Loop last peg in the opposite direction. Keep wrapping the yarn around the pegs in the same direction as first round of loops until the last peg (the first peg wrapped on the first pass). Wrap this peg from the opposite direction.[9]
- After wrapping the last peg, hold the yarn in place with fingers or wrap it around the anchor peg on this side of the loom.
- Use loom tool to lift bottom loops over top loops. When each peg in the row is wrapped twice (except for last peg on upper end of the loom) begin working the bottom row of loops off the loom. Insert loom tool through the bottom loop on the last peg in lower row. Bring the loop up and over the other loop on the peg to knit it.[10]
- After knitting the first loop on the lower row, repeat for the bottom loop on the upper row. Return to the lower row going back and forth to knit the loops until the end of the row.
- When finished working the first round of loops off the loom, only one stitch is on each of the pegs.
- Repeat process to the desired length. Continue the process of wrapping the yarn around the pegs and working back and forth across rows to knit the loops. Continue until scarf is the length desired.[11]
- After a few rows, knit material comes through the bottom of the loom. Measure the knitted material to determine where the scarf will end.
- Four rows creates 1" (2.5 cm) of knit material. For a scarf five feet long or 60" (152 cm), knit about 240 rows on the loom.
[Edit]Binding Off - Lay the working yarn across the center of the loom. When scarf length is reached, bind it off. Bind off by working from right to left after knitting a row of loops and there is one loop on each peg. Lay the working yarn across the middle of the loom.[12]
- Lift stitch off the last upper peg. With loom tool, lift the loop off of the upper peg. Keep this loop on the loom tool.[13]
- A crochet hook can be used for this part. This can be easier than using the loom tool because the crochet hook has a curved end.
- Lift stitch off the last lower peg with loom tool. Bring loom tool with upper peg loop still on it over to the lower peg. Lift the loop off from the lower peg and onto the tool. Two loops are on the loom tool or hook.[14]
- Move the upper peg stitch. With finger, bring the upper peg stitch over the lower peg stitch. Slide upper peg stitch off of the end of the tool or hook. Only one loop is on the hook.[15]
- One or both of the loops can slide off the hook if using the loom tool for this part, which is why using a crochet hook is easier.
- Work back and forth to bind off the entire row. After knitting the first loop, go to the next peg on the upper row and pick up the loop onto the tool or hook. Slide the first loop over the second loop again.[16]
- Bind off loops in this fashion until the end of the loom is reached.
- Pull the working yarn through the last loop. At the end of the row the last loop from the loom is knitted. Loop the working yarn around the loom tool or hook and pull it through the second loop on the tool or hook. Pull to create a large loop and cut the loop in the center. Remove the loose yarn and pull the tail to secure the end of the scarf.
- Weave in the ends. After creating the end tail, weave it into the end of the scarf to hide it and secure it. Thread the yarn through the eye of a tapestry or yarn needle. Use the needle to weave the yarn through the edge of the scarf. Bring the yarn through each of the stitches on the end of the scarf pulling the yarn taut each time.
- When the yarn cannot be woven any more, then tie off the yarn and cut off the excess.
- Use a multicolor yarn or two yarn strands in different colors to create a multicolor scarf.
[Edit]Things You'll Need - Rectangular loom with 24 pegs or more
- Yarn
- Loom tool or crochet hook
- Scissors
- Tapestry needle or yarn needle
[Edit]References [Edit]Quick Summary |
| How to Clean a Silver Necklace Posted: 22 Apr 2022 05:00 PM PDT Cleaning a silver necklace at home is as simple as gathering a few simple items, such as a microfiber cloth and some dish soap or baking soda. However, while some jewelry can be easily cleaned at home, you should leave other pieces up to the professionals, such as antique silver, fragile necklaces, and necklaces with precious stones in them. When cleaning at home, you can start with the soap and baking soda to methods, then try other methods like the toothpaste method and the aluminum bath. [Edit]Using Soap and Water - Use a cloth that doesn't scratch. A microfiber cloth or a jewelry-polishing cloth are ideal for polishing your necklace. These cloths won't scratch your jewelry like paper towels or even tissues can. You want something soft and lint-free for polishing.[1]
- If you need to get into small areas, try a cotton swab.
- Start with a bit of soap. If your silver necklace is only mildly tarnished, you can start by using a bit of dish soap. In a cup of warm water, add a few drops of the soap. Stir it up, then wet your cloth with the solution to start polishing your necklace.[2]
- Rub along the grain. You may think the ideal polishing motion is circular. However, that can actually scratch up your silver. A better idea is to rub back and forth, making sure to go along the grain of the metal, which is less likely to scratch it.[3]
- With the chain, you may need to gently rub it between two fingers, using the cloth.
- Continue to move to clean sections of the cloth, so you're not adding tarnish back on to the necklace.
- You can also use a clean soft-bristled toothbrush for detailed areas, though try not to brush too hard.
- Avoid intentionally oxidized details. In some cases, the person who made the necklace may have let certain parts of the jewelry darken to highlight details. If you have a piece like that, you need to avoid polishing those areas so you don't lose some of the beauty of your piece.[4]
[Edit]Using Other Polishes - Try other polishes. If your jewelry is more tarnished, you may need to get actual jewelry polish to clean the necklace. Alternatively, you can make a paste of baking soda and water and rub it into the necklace as a polish.[5]
- Another option is half a cup of lemon juice with a tablespoon of olive oil.[6]
- You can also use toothpaste. The ingredient in the toothpaste that polishes the silver is hydrated silica, so look for that ingredient; tartar control toothpastes will have more of this ingredient. However, whatever you use on your teeth is likely fine for silver,[7] though gel varieties likely won't work as well.[8]
- Apply the paste. Put a small dab of the paste on the necklace. If you have precious or semi-precious stones on your necklace, this method may not be the best one, though you can try to avoid the stone. Just a pea-sized dab should be enough, and you can always add more later.[9]
- Scrub the silver. For this part, you can start out just using your fingers, if you'd like, though only do so if you're using a natural paste; grab a microfiber cloth if you're using professional silver polish. Rub the paste into the silver, including the chain if it's also tarnished. Basically, it's like your rubbing soap into the silver, but you're using a paste instead.[10] You can also use a soft-bristled toothbrush (one you're not going to brush with!), but you can end up scratching it if you try to brush too hard.[11]
- Rinse the silver. Once the tarnish is mostly gone, run the necklace under water. Carefully wash off all the paste, as any left on will look funny. You can repeat the process, as well, if you didn't manage to get all the tarnish off.[12]
[Edit]Trying the Aluminum Bath Method - Set up the bath. Start with an aluminum pie plate or a bowl with aluminum foil covering the inside. Add a tablespoon (15 milliliters) of salt to the plate. Next, add a tablespoon of either water softener powder OR baking soda.[13]
- While some people use this method on necklaces with precious or semi-precious stones, it could cause damage, so it's better not to risk it if it is valuable. Similarly, it's best not to try this method on antique or fragile silver.
- This process will remove all the tarnish, including decorative oxidized areas (black areas put in place to create a design).
- You can also add 1/2 a cup (118 milliliters) of white vinegar at this point. Keep in mind, vinegar will cause the baking soda to react, so watch for overflow.[14]
- Create the solution. Next, pour in hot water. A cup (237 milliliters) or so will be enough. It should be close to boiling, but it doesn't need to be boiling. Stir the water, making sure the salt and baking soda are fully dissolved into it.[15]
- Let the necklace soak in the solution. Once the solution is ready, put the necklace in the solution. It should be touching the aluminum, so that the tarnish will move from the silver to the aluminum. Let it soak for a couple of minutes. You can do a bit more if the necklace is especially tarnished.[16]
- Remove the necklace. Use tongs or a fork to take the necklace out. With a microfiber, polish any areas on the necklace that need a bit more work. Be gentle with more fragile areas. Dry the piece off, and put it away.[17]
- Avoid contact with chemicals like lotions, makeups, and perfumes, as those items can increase tarnishing. Don't spray or apply these items on your neck when you have your necklace on.[18]
[Edit]Warnings - Consider taking antique or fragile pieces to a professional cleaner who will be more experienced in the cleaning process.[19]
[Edit]References [Edit]Quick Summary |
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