| How to Spot Signs of Losing Confidence Posted: 28 Mar 2020 09:00 AM PDT It's easy to feel confident when things are going your way. But setbacks, failures, and criticism from yourself and others can start to wear away at your confidence. If you find yourself avoiding challenges, giving up easily, or feeling more sensitive to criticism, it's possible that you're losing your confidence. Luckily, there are things you can do to start feeling like your awesome self again! [Edit]Recognizing Loss of Confidence - Watch for increasing sensitivity to criticism. When you're losing confidence in yourself, even the slightest criticism can feel like a huge blow. Think about how you react when people say critical things to you, especially when the criticism is about areas of your life where you think your confidence is suffering.[1]
- For example, if you're a writer, you might fixate on one slightly negative comment from a reader even if most of what they say is positive.
- You might be quicker to get defensive or take any criticism to heart, whether it's valid or not.
- Look for stronger reactions to failure. Maybe in the past, you quickly picked yourself up after a failure and tried again. When you're losing confidence, however, every failure can feel like a catastrophe. Next time you don't succeed at something, stop and think about how you react to it, and ask yourself if you're taking it harder than you might have before.[2]
- You might feel a strong sense of shame or blame yourself when you fail.
- When you're losing confidence, you might be less likely to try something again after failing the first time.
- You may also be quicker to give up as soon as things start to go wrong.
- Determine whether you avoid challenging situations. When you lose confidence, your fear of failure might stop you from even trying something if you're not sure you'll succeed. Consider whether you shy away from tasks that you might have been happy to tackle in the past.[3]
- For example, instead of trying to learn a new piano piece, you might decide that it looks too hard before you even try it.
- You might make excuses for not trying things, like, "That doesn't look like much fun," or "That job is too far away, I'm not even going to bother applying."
- Examine how well you're doing personally and professionally. Think about whether your grades have been slipping, you've been less efficient at work, or you've been having a harder time getting along with your loved ones. A loss of confidence can make you less willing to put in an effort, which in turn will make it harder to do the things you need to do.[4]
- For example, maybe you're losing points for participation in your classes because you're afraid to ask questions or speak up during discussions.
- If your lack of confidence affects your ability to succeed, then your confidence will suffer even more.
- Check for a loss of interest in socializing. A loss of confidence might make it harder for you to be around other people. Consider whether you're less interested in spending time with friends or meeting new people. You might even be more irritable with other people than you used to be.[5]
- For example, you might turn down invitations to events, stop calling your best friend, or hide out in your room when people come to visit.
- Listen for a critical or negative inner voice. Pay attention to the kinds of things you think about yourself. If they're increasingly negative, critical, or helpless, then you are probably losing confidence. For example, you might think things like:[6]
- "I'm a failure."
- "I'll never be good at this."
- "I can't do it."
- "It's just too hard."
- "Why bother?"
- Make note of physical symptoms, like fatigue, aches, and pains. Losing confidence is stressful, and stress can have a real impact on how you feel physically. Pay attention to any unexplained physical symptoms you've been feeling, such as:[7]
- Fatigue
- Headaches
- Stomach problems
- Changes in your sleep patterns, like sleeping too much or not being able to fall asleep
[Edit]Regaining Lost Confidence - Challenge negative thoughts. Next time you find yourself thinking something negative, defeatist, or overly critical, stop and ask yourself whether that thought is realistic. If it's not, then gently correct yourself and replace the thought with something more positive and realistic.[8]
- For example, if you find yourself thinking, "I'll never get a good job," try replacing that thought with something like, "The market is really tough right now and job hunting is super frustrating. But if I keep applying and polishing my resume, I'm likely to get something eventually."
- If you're worried about failure, remind yourself of a time when you succeeded. For example, if you think "I'm not going to pass this test," remember a time when you did really well on another test.
- Practice self-care to help you feel your best. Self-care is a way to show love and respect for yourself, which can help improve your overall health, mood, and level of self-confidence.[9] Set aside a little time each day to care for your basic needs. Although self-care can mean different things for different people, a few good self-care habits include:
- Getting enough sleep
- Eating healthy meals
- Caring for your hygiene
- Doing things you enjoy
- Taking care of practical matters, like bills, chores, and doctor visits
- Try compassion meditation exercises. If your critical inner voice has been wearing away at your confidence, a compassion meditation practice can help you change your thinking and start being more kind to yourself. Once a day, take some time to sit and breathe deeply. Imagine a time when a loved one was suffering, and think about the feelings of warmth and compassion you felt for them. Then, turn your thoughts to yourself and a time when you were suffering. Imagine sending those same feelings of warmth and love to yourself.[10]
- Visualize your love and compassion as a golden light. Picture it radiating out from your heart and filling you with loving feelings toward yourself.
- Try reciting a mantra, such as, "May I be free from this suffering. May I have joy and happiness."
- Learn some new skills to feel challenged. When you learn something new, you remind yourself of the amazing things that you're capable of. Step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself to try something you've never done before, like learning to paint, taking dance lessons, or doing karate.[11]
- Trying something new can also help remind you that making mistakes is a natural part of the growing and learning process.
- If you're in school, try joining a club or signing up for some fun classes. If you're out of school, consider taking classes at a community college, online, or at a private teaching studio.
- Exercise to boost your physical confidence. Getting physical exercise can help you feel better both physically and emotionally, and it can also remind you of what you're capable of. Set some attainable health goals and work on meeting them to help increase your confidence.[12]
- If you're not used to exercising, start with something small, like taking a 15-minute walk every day.
- Once you feel ready for a bigger challenge, try training for a race or completing a boot camp class.
- Take care of your physical appearance. Putting in the effort to look your best can help you feel more confident. Choose clothes that flatter you and help you feel good about how you look, and take time each morning to care for your grooming and hygiene.[13]
- Consider getting a fresh haircut or a makeover. Getting a new look can help you feel like a new you!
- Spend time with supportive people. Having a fun and positive social life can make a huge difference in your confidence. Try to schedule time with friends and family members who lift you up and encourage you. Look for ways to meet new people who share your interests, too.[14]
- If you don't know many people, taking a class or joining a club can be a great way to start meeting new friends.
- See a therapist if you're still struggling. Everyone needs a little help once in a while. If you feel like nothing you do is enough to lift your confidence, ask your doctor to recommend a therapist or a support group for people struggling with confidence issues. They can help you pinpoint whatever is causing your confidence problems and start to work through it.[15]
- A therapist can also teach you strategies for changing the thoughts and behaviors that make you feel less confident.
[Edit]References |
| How to Make a Corsage Posted: 28 Mar 2020 01:00 AM PDT To save money when planning for a special occasion, learn how to make a corsage on your own. Corsages add color and a festive flair to baby showers, bridal showers, weddings and all kinds of other special events. [Edit]Dress the Flowers - Gather your flowers. You'll need 3 to 4 blooms unless you're working with extraordinarily large flowers.
- Clip the stems to a 1" length.
- Cut 2 5" (12.7 cm) lengths of florist's wire for each bloom.
- Push 1 wire piece through the base of each bloom. Look for the substantial part of the flower where the bloom meets the stem. Pull the wire through until half sticks out of 1 side and half sticks out of the other side.
- Poke another wire piece through the base of the bloom. The second wire should be at a 90-degree angle to the other wire so that you create an "X."
- Bend all of the wires downward as though creating a new stem.
- Wrap the wires in florist's tape starting at the top and working your way down. Use one hand to spin the flower as you slowly release the tape with the other hand.
- Continue wiring all of your blooms until you are finished.
- Spray the blooms with a floral preservative spray. Be careful not to spray too heavily on dark flowers or you will cause them to look patchy.
- Pinch your blooms together at the base to form an attractive bouquet. Consider attractive color combinations, and vary the heights of the blooms.
- Add filler to your bouquet. Tight buds, greenery, baby's breath or other less dominating flowers make good filler around the main blooms.
- Attach 1 end of a piece of florist's tape to the base of your bouquet. Use one hand to spin the bouquet so that the florist's tape wraps around and covers the entire set of stems.
- Cut the wrapped stem to a length of 1-1/2 to 2" (about 4 to 5 cm) using pruning shears.
[Edit]Make the Bow - Cut a piece of wire about 5 to 6" (12.5 to 15 cm) long. Lay the wire down on a flat surface.
- Choose ribbon for the corsage. The ribbon should be about 1/4" to 1/2" (6 mm to 12 mm) wide.
- Make a loop. The loop should be about 2/3 of the width of your corsage. When you've finished the loop, twist it at the base to make it more secure.
- Make more loops, each with a twist at the base. Generally, 4 to 6 loops will do for a corsage.
- Hold the loops together by pinching each loop at its midpoint. Place the pinched loops against the wire at the wire's midpoint.
- Use the hand that isn't holding the loops to bring up the wire ends on either side of your fingers.
- Press the loops down against the wire with your thumb. Using your other hand, twist the wire ends to secure the loops.
- Tape the twisted wire to cover it and to protect the wearer from the sharp edge.
[Edit]Assemble the Corsage - Decide whether you want to wrap the stem of your corsage with ribbon or to leave the wrapped stems exposed.
- If you wrap the ribbon around the stem:
- If you decide to wrap the stems with ribbon, position the wrapped loops at the base of the flower and wrap the stems around the ribbon going downward toward the end of the stem.
- Wrap the stems again going back upward toward the base of the flower.
- Cut the ribbon with a pair of scissors when you are finished. Leave a length of about 1-1/2 to 2" (4 to 5 cm) at the end.
- Tie the loose ends of the ribbon together rightly to secure the bow to the bouquet. Wrap a loop of florist's tape around the tied ends if that will make you feel that they are more secure. If you've used silk flowers, use a dab of hot glue instead of tape.
- If you decide not to wrap the stems in ribbon:
- Cut the ribbon, leaving a 1/2 to 2" (4 to 5 cm) tail.
- The the ends of the ribbon behind the bouquet. Tie them tightly to secure the bow to the blooms. Add florist's tape or hot glue, if needed, for extra security.
- Trim the remaining ends of the ribbon so that they aren't visible behind the bouquet.
- Stick a florist's pin through the base of the flower stems.
- Place the corsage in a plastic box or in a plastic resealable bag. If you use a plastic resealable bag, blow air into the bag before you seal it so that the blooms aren't crushed by the bag.
- Store the corsage until you're ready to transport it.
- If you've used fresh flowers, refrigerate the corsage until you're ready to transport it.
- If you've used silk flowers, then place the corsage in a cool, dry place so that it won't fade in the light.
- If you're using fresh flowers, make your corsage on the day of the event for the best appearance.
- To keep your corsage after using it, such as for a memento, check out the wikiHow How to Preserve a Corsage.
[Edit]Warnings - Take appropriate precautions to prevent injury from the pruners, the scissors and the sharp ends of the wires.
[Edit]Things You'll Need - 3 to 4 blooms
- Florist's wire
- Florist's tape
- Greenery, baby's breath or other filler
- Floral preservative spray
- Pruners
- Ribbon
- Scissors
- Hot glue gun and glue sticks (for silk flowers)
- Florist's pin
- Container or plastic resealable bag
[Edit]Related wikiHows [Edit]References [Edit]Quick Summary |
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