| How to Trust Yourself Posted: 06 Feb 2019 04:00 PM PST Maintaining trust in yourself takes time, effort, and good communication. Learn to trust yourself by being kind to yourself and taking care of your own needs and safety. Strengthen your self-trust by learning to survive difficult situations and refusing to give up on yourself. Trusting yourself will increase your self-confidence and lessen your need for approval. It can even deepen your connection with others.[1] EditNurturing Yourself and Setting Boundaries - Take time away from work or school to do something for yourself. It's easy to lose confidence if you forget to take care of yourself. Make sure you set aside some time to pursue hobbies or other leisure activities. If you get burnt out at work or school, it will add to your frustration and self-doubt.[2]
- Dedicate one night per week to do an activity you love. Watch a movie, go for a long walk in the park, or curl up in your favorite chair to read. Do whatever you enjoy doing the most.
- Set time aside each evening before you go to bed to write down three things you are grateful for. Make it a ritual you really enjoy by turning on your favorite music or making yourself a warm, comforting drink like tea or hot chocolate.
- Respect your values, interests, and skills. Find a quiet place where you won't be interrupted for at least 20 minutes. Take out a special notebook and pen. Set a timer for 20 minutes and write a list of your most important personal values, interests, and skills. Write at least 5 things for each category. Bring this list out whenever you are feeling doubtful or pessimistic to remind yourself of your positive qualities and your drive.[3]
- Whenever you question a decision, look at your list and see if it matches your values and overall goal.
- Remember that everyone's list will look different and it's ok that you are different from others.
- Keep a list of your strengths and accomplishments so you can look at the things you've done well in the past.
- For example, you might write that one of your values is always being honest, that one of your hobbies is scrapbooking, and that a skill you have is being a good listener.
- Keep promises to yourself. To trust yourself, you have to be like your own best friend. That means you must keep promises you make to yourself. Making a commitment and sticking to it will build trust.[4]
- For example, if you make a promise to yourself to go to bed earlier or take short a walk every evening, keep that promise just like you would keep a promise to meet a friend.
- Sometimes things come up and you will have to break a promise to yourself. For example, if you had promised to read your favorite book one evening, but your friend calls to talk because she just broke up with her boyfriend, you probably would prioritize talking your friend through this difficult time. Recommit to reading your book the next day. Just be sure that you don't make a habit of always breaking promises to yourself.
- Listen to yourself and your body. Take the time to reflect on your mental and physical wellbeing. If you are experiencing certain emotions, like sadness or anger, give yourself some time to process them before you react.[5]
- If you give yourself some time to feel what you are feeling and think about it, you may find strong emotions fade or turn into something else entirely.
- For example, if you receive bad results on a test or a negative review at work, you may feel a heaviness in your heart and you may want to speak negatively to yourself. Try to resist the urge to react and just let yourself feel sad. Then, when the feeling fades a little, think constructively about how you can avoid a similar situation in the future.
- Learn to say "No". Respecting your own boundaries, especially if you feel like you are under pressure to say yes to something, will help you trust yourself more. If you don't have the time or energy for something, it's ok to respectfully say no.
EditForgiving Yourself for Your Mistakes - Reduce negative self talk. Everyone struggles with negative voices in their heads. Instead of speaking to yourself with negativity, zeroing in on all the things about yourself that you don't like, focus on the positive aspects of yourself. If you make a mistake, reassure yourself that it will be better next time.[6]
- For example, the next time you make a mistake, instead of telling yourself "You're so stupid," remind yourself that "It's ok. It's not a big deal," or "Ok, it was a big mistake but I will learn from it and do better next time."
- Being kind and understanding with yourself when you make a mistake also helps you be kinder towards others when they do the same.
- Resist the urge to be a perfectionist. Trusting yourself doesn't mean that you will always say exactly the right thing or make the right decision every time. You don't have to be perfect and you shouldn't even try. The best way to learn to trust yourself is to keep fighting to improve yourself.[7]
- If you say something you regret, apologize. But remember that it is not a failure. The fact that you feel bad and want to make amends is a sign of growth.
- Learn from your mistakes so you can continue to grow. Just because something goes wrong once doesn't mean it will go wrong again. Don't look at your mistakes as failures. See them as learning opportunities. Consider what you can do next time something similar happens so you won't make the same mistake again.[8]
- Learning from your mistakes will help you deepen your trust in yourself.
- Even if you make the same mistake twice, or more, look at it as a stepping stone instead of a stumbling block. Be patient with yourself. Reflect on what you can do next time to avoid the mistake.
EditWorking Through Challenges - Focus on developing a solution when a problem comes up. Instead of beating yourself up about an unexpected problem, sit down to tackle it. To do this, first clearly define what the problem is. Then, design a plan to solve it. Finally, put the plan into action.[9]
 - Allow yourself some time to be emotional about the problem before rationalizing what the next step should be.
- Try to remain flexible and open-minded in case things don't go exactly to plan.
- Once you've solved the problem, evaluate the outcome and try to learn from your previous mistakes.
- You may want to ask friends or family members you trust for advice if needed.
- Try designing a plan with several options that you can choose from in case something else unexpected comes up.
- If you forgot about an important exam or work project that is coming up very soon, first focus on how to best prepare for it. Prioritize the subjects you need to study or the tasks that need to be completed. Then, get started as soon as possible and do your best. Afterward, come up with a way to remind yourself to start earlier the next time something comes up. You may want to look at your syllabus and put reminders in your phone 2 weeks before each of the remaining exams or buy a planner so you can write in your projects as soon as they are assigned.
- Take some time away from a project if you are feeling overwhelmed. Focus on something completely different. Sometimes taking a break from something and concentrating on something completely different can help bring a whole new perspective when you go back to it.[10]
- Taking time away can be as simple as getting up and moving around, listening to music, doodling, scribbling, or playing with your cat or dog.
- Be willing to take risks. Build your self-trust by starting out taking low-level risks. Then, build on each success and take a bigger risk every time. Don't worry if you don't succeed every time.[11]
- For example, if you really want to learn to play ice hockey, start by going to a roller skating rink with some friends. This is a small risk to take and you will be having fun with your friends while you learn to start trusting yourself on skates in a warm environment. Then, take a bigger risk by signing up for ice skating lessons. Finally, when you feel confident on the ice skates, sign up for a recreational ice hockey league in your area.
- Seek support from others to remind you of your worth. It's important to take time for yourself, and take responsibility for your own mistakes, but you don't have to do it all alone. It's just as important to seek support from others. Reach out to your family, friends, or a professional therapist if you are feeling self-doubt. They can give you good advice and encouragement.[12]
- The next time you don't feel like you are good enough to do something, like applying for a challenging job or taking an advanced class, tell someone you trust about your doubts. Often the people in our lives are better able to see your positive traits and inspire you to push your limits and try something new.
- Seek out people who will encourage and support you. Stay away from people who undermine your self-trust. Think about the people you let into your life and try to keep away those who don't support you or your dreams.[13]
- Don't give up if things go wrong or if you start to doubt yourself. Make a commitment to continually work towards trusting yourself, even if there are some speed bumps along the way.[14]
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Identify a Garden Spider Posted: 06 Feb 2019 08:00 AM PST The common garden spider (Argiope aurantia) is an orb-weaver, which means it spins its web in a spiraling circle. They are non-venomous, beneficial to the local ecosystem, and can be found just about everywhere in North America and Europe. They can resemble other spiders to an untrained eye, so be careful when trying to identify one, especially in places where venomous spiders are abundant. EditObserving the Spider Directly - Look for an egg-shaped black abdomen with yellow patches. The abdomen of a garden spider is egg-shaped and slightly shiny, which helps when trying to find them in direct sunlight. A female abdomen will be black with patches of bright yellow, whereas males have patches of pale yellow coloration.[1]
- Note if the front body section of the spider has short, silvery hairs. Most spiders have short hairs on their legs, but the garden spider has silvery-grey hairs on both its cephalothorax (the front section of its body) and its legs. Check for these with a magnifying glass (or camera with a zoom function), but be careful not to concentrate the sun's rays on the spider and burn it.[2]
- Check the legs for yellow or red coloring that turns black at the end. Garden spiders have legs that are distinctly separated into 2 colors — the part closest to the body is yellow or reddish-orange while the tip of the leg becomes black. The colors do not blend and change abruptly near the first bend in its leg.[3]
- In some spiders, the colors band around each leg rather than separate into 2 distinct colors. This is relatively uncommon but is something that should be taken into account when you look at its leg coloration.
- Notice if it has 3 claws at the end of each leg. Most spiders have 2 claws at the end of each leg, but because the garden spider is an orb-weaver, it needs an extra claw to handle its silk while making its web.[4]
- Figure out whether it is a female or male spider by its size. Unlike humans, the female garden spider is much larger than the male garden spider, sometimes up to 4 times its size.[5] Female garden spiders are anywhere from to long, while males can be anywhere from to long.[6]
- Another way to determine the spider's sex is to observe it on the web. Females will hang head-down from the center of the web with their legs kept together, so they appear to have 4 legs rather than 8.
- The male garden spider may not display its colors as much as the female spider, which makes its colors appear much more muted and pale.[7]
EditRecognizing a Garden Spider Habitat - Search for spiders in the warmer parts of the year, from spring to fall. The garden spider is most active from June to November, after which it goes dormant until the spring.[8] In places with a particularly cold winter, the spider may go dormant earlier.
- The garden spider loves the sun and warmth, which is why it is much easier to find in warm months than in winter and the beginning of spring. You can certainly still find them at other times of the year, but they will be harder to spot and may be hidden from sight entirely.
- Look for webs about knee-high off the ground in sunny but hidden areas. Garden spiders like to build their webs a little bit off of the ground in an area without wind or other factors that could destroy their web.[9]
- Don't limit your search to just your garden. You can often find their webs built on trellises and on fences around the house, and they are abundant in natural areas too.
- Garden spiders often like to build their webs in areas of tall grass and foliage, as the grass provides a natural buffer and hiding spot.
- Identify its circular, orb-like web with a zig-zag pattern. Garden spiders spin their webs in large, circular spirals often with a thick strand of silk that resembles a zig-zag going directly through the middle.[10] This is an indication that you have a garden spider in your yard, but there are other types of spiders that make their webs in a similar fashion. If you have webs that look very different from this in your garden, it is unlikely they were made by the common garden spider.
- The zig-zag strand of silk may not always be present. The spiral pattern will indicate that the web belongs to a garden spider, whereas the strand of silk will confirm this, if it is there.
- Notice their brown, thin egg sacs attached to one side of the web. The female will lay eggs on the web and keep them close to her, to prevent ants from getting to her spawn.[11] These round egg sacs can be up to wide and contain many hundreds of smaller spider eggs. Rarely, if ever, will you find these eggs unattached to a web.
EditIdentifying Other Spiders in your Garden - Recognize a cross orb-weaver by its pyramid-shaped abdomen with a white cross. The cross orb-weaver is sometimes mistaken for a garden spider as it has a similar coloring, but the shape of the cross orb-weaver's abdomen, as well as the white stripe coloration on its body, differentiates it. Its web is circular and spiraling, much like the garden spider's web.[12]
- Identify a grass spider by its funnel-like web and brown striped legs. A grass spider is a common spider that makes its web in a funnel shape.[13] Their webs are typically low to the ground, which can indicate that it belongs to a grass spider and not a garden spider. The grass spider has black and white spots on its abdomen and brown-striped legs. Their bites are slightly venomous but do not cause any damage to people.
- Look for a long, narrow brown body and pale long legs in the dome spider. The dome spider's legs are noticeably longer than its body. Their body is a deep dark brown, whereas their legs are a pale tan color. Its web is shaped like a dome, and the dome spider's body has no bright coloring, unlike the garden spider.
- Identify a cobweb spider by its white body and legs and its large abdomen. The cobweb spider can typically be found climbing on flowers and bushes and in tangled messes of cobweb.[14] Sometimes, they will have red or black markings on their body, but this is uncommon.[15] The cobweb spider's web is erratic and patternless and is easily destroyed by the wind, which is why they are usually found in corners and out of the elements. Black widow spiders are one notable example of a venomous cobweb spider, but most are not venomous.
- Note the camouflage coloration and reflective eyes of the wolf spider. The wolf spider is a master of disguise and can be hard to spot without a flashlight as they blend into their surroundings extremely well. You can typically find them in open areas, and using a flashlight at night can help to find their reflective eyes looking back at you — spooky![16] Its web is small and funnel-shaped, and is usually hidden away rather than out in the open. Its bite is mildly venomous, but is not lethal.
- The garden spider's web can be as large as across, and although this can be a nuisance when you are working in your garden, keep in mind that the garden spider is very beneficial to the ecosystem. If you constantly destroy their webs, they will leave.
- The garden spider is not venomous and it is not aggressive. A bite from a garden spider is extremely rare, but if you are bitten, you will not feel too much pain. Let the bite heal on its own, but use ice to numb the area if there is any minor swelling.
EditThings You'll Need - Magnifying glass or camera with a zoom function
EditRelated wikiHows EditSources and Citations EditQuick Summary
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| How to Make a Fishing Lure Posted: 06 Feb 2019 12:00 AM PST Between the rods, reels, fishing line, bait, and boat upkeep, fishing can be a pretty expensive hobby. If you're a fan of fishing, you may want to be able to make your own lure in order to not have to spend money on expensive store-bought fishing gear. Fortunately, whether you opt to make a lure out of wood or out of common household items, making a lure by hand is a task that almost anybody can learn how to do! EditMaking a Lure out of Wood - Cut a block of wood slightly larger than the dimensions of your lure. For example, if you want to make a lure that is long and wide, you should cut the block of wood to be about long and wide. Use a small hand saw to cut the wood to your desired dimensions.[1]
- For best results, use a softwood, since these are easier to carve and are relatively buoyant. Examples of softwoods to use for making a fish lure include basswood, cedar, poplar, and balsa.
- Trace the intended design of your lure onto the block of wood. To make a simple lure design, draw long, thin ovals on each of the long sides of the rectangular block, then draw circles on the top and bottom squares of the block. When you go to cut your block of wood along these lines, it will be in the rough shape of a lure.[2]
- You can also draw a more elaborate design if you have a special one you want to use.
- You'll want the shape of your lure to ultimately be long and ovular, so the design you draw on your block of wood should be long and round as well. Don't worry about having a perfect design just yet; you'll be able to sand the lure down later.
- This design will be used to cut away the parts of the wooden block that you won't use to make your lure.
- Use a carving knife or a lathe to cut the wood block to fit your design. If you're using a carving knife, carve off the corners of the block first, then carve along the long sides of the block towards the smaller squares. Continue carving until the wood is roughly shaped like a lure.[3]
- If you're using a lathe, simply attach the block to the lathe horizontally and allow it to spin. Then, lay a wood rasp or carving knife along the block to trim away wood until the block comes to resemble the shape of a lure.
- Sand the lure down to the final shape you want it to be in. Once you've created a rough lure shape with the carving knife or lathe, you can now use sandpaper to trim it down to its final intended shape. Start with 80-grit sandpaper to sand down larger areas, then use 150-grit sandpaper to fine tune any areas that just need a small amount of sanding.[4]
- If you want to sand your lure down even further after all of this, finish with a 220-grit sandpaper.
- Drill 2 holes on the sides of the lure and 1 on the rear. The 2 side holes should be in the middle of the lure and near its "stomach," while the rear hole should be on the very end of the lure. These are the holes where you will install your hook hangers. Use a drill with a bit for the best results.[5]
- You can drill more holes if you intend to hang more than 3 hooks on your lure. However, in most instances, 3 hooks is more than enough.
- Fill the holes with epoxy and insert an eye screw into each of them. Use a small piping bag to insert clean epoxy resin into the small holes. Don't worry if some epoxy comes out of the hole when you insert the eye screw; simply use a cloth to wipe it off.[6]
- Apply epoxy sealer to the lure to make it waterproof. Use a cloth to rub the epoxy into the wood to seal it. Once the epoxy has been applied, leave the lure hanging vertically for 72 hours to allow the epoxy to finish curing.[7]
- Refrain from using lacquer, enamel, or water-based sealers, since these will not do a good job of actually keeping the lure waterproof.
- Attach hooks to the eye screws to finish your lure. Use pliers to attach split rings to the eye screws. Then, slide hooks onto these rings, being very careful to not hurt yourself on the sharp hooks.[8]
EditUsing a Spoon or a Piece of Aluminum - Cut the bowl end off of a spoon or an ovular piece out of a soda can. Use a hacksaw to cut off the spoon bowl, or use scissors to cut out a piece of a soda can in the shape of an oval. Cut this oval so that it looks like the bowl end of a spoon, if you can.[9]
- When cutting out a piece of a soda can, aim for the piece to be long for best results.
- Use a metal file to smooth out the edges of your spoon or aluminum. The edges of these items will be very jagged and sharp, so it's important to smooth them down as much as possible before working with them. You can also use an emery cloth to sand down the spoon.[10]
- Use a file with medium cut for best results. You can pick up this type of file at any home improvement store.
- Drill 2 holes on the 2 opposite ends of the item. These will be the holes you'll insert your hooks into. For best results, place these holes on the 2 long ends of your spoon or soda can piece. Although some lures have multiple hooks attached to them, lures made out of spoons or soda cans usually shouldn't have more than 2, so that they maintain the right weight and balance.[11]
- Use pliers to attach split rings to these holes. Split rings are essentially tiny versions of key rings that are used to fasten hooks and swivels to your lure. For best results, use special split ring pliers to install the rings, since the holes will be quite small. If you can't find these special pliers, you can also use needle-nose pliers.[12]
- You'll probably want to use a size 0 or 1 split ring for this lure.
- Attach a hook to 1 end of the item and a swivel to the other. Attach the hook on the larger side of the spoon, soda can piece, or piece of cork. Attach the swivel on the smaller end to keep the lure's movement from twisting the fishing line when you use it.[13]
- Use needle-nose pliers to attach the hook and swivel to your lure.
EditCrafting a Lure Out of Simple Items - Make a lure out of a piece of cork if you have a leftover bottle of wine. Screw eye screws into each of the horizontal ends of the piece of cork, as well as 1 eye screw on its "underbelly." Then, use needle-nose pliers to attach hooks to the lower eye screw and to 1 end eye screw and attach a swivel to the other to complete your lure.[14]
- If you like, you can also paint your lure to make it more attractive to fish, although this isn't strictly necessary.
- Flatten a penny and turn it into a lure if you have no other use for it. Use a rolling mill to flatten the penny into an ovular shape, then drill 2 holes into the 2 opposite ends of it. Attach split rings to each of these ends, then attach a hook to 1 split ring and a swivel to the other.[15]
- If you have a heavy sledge hammer and an anvil, you can also repeatedly hammer the penny to flatten it.
- If you don't have a rolling mill or a hammer, your best bet will either be to leave the penny on a railroad track and let a passing train flatten it, or take it to an amusement park that has a coin-flattening machine.
- Use needle-nose pliers to attach the split rings, hook, and swivel.
- Turn a length of paracord into a simple yet sturdy fishing lure. Pull about of the inner strands out of the paracord, then insert a hook into the paracord length. Use a knife to cut the length of paracord at the top end of the inserted hook. Then, use a blowtorch or lighter to singe the top of the paracord length so that it's fused together and won't slip off of the hook.[16]
- To make sure your paracord lure is secured firmly to the hook, take a piece of inner strand from a separate length of paracord and tie it around the center of your lure.
- Use your fingers to flush out the inner strands of the paracord after you're finished to make it more alluring to fish.
EditThings You'll Need EditMaking a Lure out of Wood - Wood
- Saw
- Sandpaper
- Drill
- Epoxy resin
- Eye screws
- Hooks
EditUsing a Spoon or a Piece of Aluminum - Spoon or soda can
- Metal file
- Sandpaper
- Drill
- Pliers
- 2 split rings
- Swivel
- Hook
EditCrafting a Lure Out of Simple Items - Piece of cork
- Penny
- Length of paracord
- Pliers
- Eye screws
- Rolling mill
- Knife
- Paracord
- Drill
- Split rings
- Hook
- Swivel
EditRelated wikiHows EditSources and Citations
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