| How to Be Less Judgmental Posted: 30 Jun 2018 05:00 PM PDT It's easy to be judgmental without knowing you are. For example, you may think you know how everyone should look, think, and act. Oftentimes, thinking you have everything figured out can give you a sense of comfort; however, being judgmental can prevent you from making new friends and trying new things. Fortunately, you can learn to be less judgmental by changing your perspective, broadening your horizons, and keeping an open mind. EditChanging Your Perspective - Embrace positive thinking. A negative mindset can lead to judgmental thinking. Try to see the positive aspects of every situation, rather than the negatives. When you catch yourself having negative thoughts, challenge them. Then, challenge yourself to pick out something positive.[1]
- You can still be realistic while being positive. You don't have to ignore negative aspects, just don't focus exclusively on them.
- It's okay to have bad days. Forgive yourself on days when you are feeling down and negative.
- Having a positive attitude can improve your life in many ways!
- Separate people's individual actions from their personality. Sometimes people will do things that you find abhorrent, such as stealing someone's lunch money or cutting in a line. Although their actions may be wrong, it's important not to judge them solely on one action. They likely have positive qualities that you haven't seen yet.[2]
- Consider that their actions in that one moment may be driven by a circumstance you don't understand. For example, they may have stolen the lunch money because they haven't had a meal in 2 days.
- Notice when you're judging. Nip judgments in the bud by identifying how and when you're thinking about other people. When you catch yourself having critical thoughts about someone, ask yourself how you or they benefit from those thoughts. Then, offer a compliment instead. It will make you feel good when you give a compliment and that person will feel the same as you when someone gives you a compliment. Think about how it makes you feel if you are being judged, it will be impossible to not care about what that person says. Maybe that person is upset, regaining insecurities, or sensitive so you will never know because you don't know that person in order for you to judge whoever.
[3] - For example, you might catch yourself thinking, "That girl needs to lose some weight." Challenge that thought, asking yourself why it's your business. Then say something nice that you noticed, such as, "You have a beautiful smile!"
- Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Every person is a unique individual with different talents, skills, personalities, and life experiences. Additionally, people are shaped by their upbringing, including where they grew up, how they were treated, and their living conditions. As you get to know people, try to imagine yourself in a similar position. Even if you may not have made the same choices, accept that they have a right to make their own decisions.[4]
- For example, a person you consider to be too needy may have grown up without a supportive parent. Similarly, a person that you believe has not applied themselves enough academically may have prioritized earning money to help support their family.
- Find common ground. Whenever you find yourself tempted to judge someone who is different from you, look for commonalities rather than differences. We all have something in common because we're all humans! This will help you see them in a positive light, rather than one clouded by judgment.[5]
- Casually mention a few topics until you find something that you can both talk about and be interested in. This will help you realize that people aren't so different from you.
- Be grateful for what you have. Appreciate the good things in your life, especially those that have helped you get to where you are in life. Celebrate your friends, family, health, opportunities, relationships, and how you grew up. Recognize that not everyone has had the same benefits that you have had, so judging them for living differently is unfair.
- If you feel tempted to say something negative about someone, take a deep breath. Instead, wish them all of the luck you've had in life.
- Show compassion. Being compassionate is the opposite of being judgmental. Instead of judging people and thinking bad thoughts about them, try to empathize with a person and to really try to imagine what that person is thinking or feeling. It won't be easy to go from thinking bad things about people and wanting the best for them, but this transition is possible. Focus on wanting to give people what they need and to help them out instead of wanting the worst for them.[6]
- Compassion is also one key to happiness. If you want to be a more compassionate person, then you have to have positive feelings toward people and the world.
EditBroadening Your Horizons - Be curious. Curiosity is a great tool for overcoming a judgmental attitude. When you would normally think judgmental thoughts, instead explore your curiosity about something you don't understand. Let yourself see possibility instead of something wrong or different.[7]
- For example, you may see someone cut the line at the lunch counter. Instead of judging them to be a rude person, consider if they might have a pressing appointment or have a health issue.
- Step out of your comfort zone. Actively seek out new experiences that are different from the things you normally do. At first, this may be scary, but it can also be a lot of fun! Invite a few friends to join you as you try new things.[8] Here are some ways to step out of your comfort zone:
- Use a different mode of transportation to get to work.
- Try a cuisine that you've never sampled.
- See a movie with subtitles.
- Go to a religious service outside of your belief system.
- Do something that scares you. Stand on top of a tall building, go mountain climbing, or eat raw fish.
- Hang out with a diverse group of people. Making an effort to hang out with people who are different from you in many ways can help open up your mind. Whether your friends are different because of their race, culture, religion, interests, class, ideas, hobbies, careers, or whatever else, being around people who come from a variety of backgrounds and have a variety of perspectives can help you have a better sense of all of the ideas that are out in the world.
- You don't have to recruit friends of a variety of backgrounds, but you should make an effort to get to know more people who aren't exactly like you. You'll only grow from the experience.
- Befriending someone you always thought you had nothing in common with can help you be more understanding and open-minded.
- Let your friends know that you're interested in attending events with them, if they'd like to invite you. Say, "It's so cool that your family moved here from Japan. I'm really interested in Japanese culture, so I'd love it if you let me know when public events are happening."
- Attend an event that would normally not appeal to you. Choose an activity that you would normally think was boring, stupid, or lame. Challenge yourself to go and participate. Try to learn something new! Doing this once will let you meet more different people, understand different perspectives, and will also make you more likely to do something that will open your mind in the future.[9]
- For example, attend a poetry reading, salsa dancing class, or political rally.
- Talk to the other people there and try to get to know them. If you feel tempted to judge them, remember how you would feel if they were judging you, especially since you're not normally a part of their scene.
- Travel as much as you can. Traveling can broaden your horizons and show you how other people live all over the world. If you don't have a big budget, you can travel to the next town or take a weekend trip to the next state. What's important is that you'll see that there are an infinite amount of ways to live your life and that no one person is right about what to say or do.[10]
- You can save money when traveling by staying in hostels.
- Make a goal of traveling at least once a year. This will take you out of your comfort zone and will expose you to a variety of people.
- You can also try armchair traveling. Pick up a travel book about a faraway location and immerse yourself. Take it further by watching a movie based on that location.
- Spend a day with a friend's family. This will help you see that other families operate in completely different ways from yours. Even if you do a lot of things the same, you likely have some differences. This is okay![11]
- Ask your friend to include you in a special event, such as a cultural activity or religious service. However, don't push them to include you if they aren't comfortable doing so.
- Learn something from every person you meet. Every person you meet offers value for your life because they all come with lessons you can learn. Ask yourself what each person has to teach you, whether it's knowledge, a skill, or a lesson about yourself.
- For example, a person from another culture may be able to share knowledge about their practices with you. Similarly, a person who has a talent for art may be able to show you a new skill.
- Pay it forward and share something from yourself as well. Be the first to open up and share.
- Ask a lot of questions. This will help you better understand people and where they're coming from. It'll also help you expand your understanding of different backgrounds, cultures, and practices.[12]
- If you want to get to know a person for real, then you have to learn more about where they're coming from. You might ask questions like these: Do you have siblings? Where are you from? What are you studying? How do you earn a living? What do you enjoy doing on the weekend?
- Don't press the person to answer your questions. However, showing an interest in them may make them want to open up.
EditKeeping an Open Mind - Stop your addiction to being right. Every person has his own ideas about how the world should work, and many times, those ideas are in conflict. Whether or not you're acting from an educated knowledge base, your values will still shape your viewpoint. Others are in a similar position, so accept that they may not agree with you.[13]
- The next time you engage in a debate, remember that the other person may also have a valid opinion.
- Focus on sharing your perspective without trying to change people's mind.
- Remember that most situations are complicated and can't be judged on what is "right" and "wrong" -- there are many shades of gray.
- Form your own opinions. Set aside gossip and negative information that you hear about a person, culture, etc. Challenge assumptions before making a decision about a particular person or group. Don't let yourself be swayed by falsehoods.[14]
- Keep in mind that people have their own motives for sharing gossip or negative opinions. For example, a person may talk bad about someone because of jealousy, or they may share concerns about a foreign concept out of fear.
- Think about times that you've had gossip spread about you. Would you want people judging you based on this?
- Don't judge people based on their appearance. While it's true that people often dress in a way that expresses who they are, that doesn't mean that their appearance can tell you all you need to know about a person. Similarly, there are people of all different types within different lifestyles.[15]
- For example, don't assume that someone who has a lot of tattoos and piercings can't also hold a professional job.
- The next time you go out, study yourself in the mirror. What would people think of you based on your appearance on this one day? How would they be right or wrong?
- Stop labeling people. Labels don't tell the whole story about a person. In fact, they limit your perspective on them. Try to see each person as an individual. Learn to see past a person's appearance or the people they hang out with, and focus on getting that person's individual story before you jump to conclusions.
- For example, don't refer to people as Goths, Nerds, Jocks, etc.
- Withhold making judgments about people. Let people tell you who they are, rather than assuming that you already know. You are only seeing a small side of each person you meet, and if they perceive you as being judgmental, that will be a very small slice. Let your perceptions about a person change as you get to know them better.[16]
- Accept people on their own terms.
- Would it be fair for the person to judge you based on talking to you for five minutes? How much could the person really learn about you in such a short amount of time?
- Give people another chance. Sometimes people are going to rub you the wrong way, but don't assume the worst about them. Chances are, you've also had days when you didn't put your best foot forward. Give other people the benefit of the doubt and keep negative thoughts at bay.[17]
- For example, the person may have been having a bad day when you met. Similarly, shy people may at first seem distant or stuck-up.
- Don't gossip about other people. Gossiping spreads ill will and makes people form judgments about one another without knowing the real story. Plus, if you develop a reputation as a gossip, people will like coming to you for juicy tidbits about other people, but they won't really be able to trust you.[18]
- The next time you open your mouth to say something negative about someone, flip it around and say something positive. Instead of saying, "Did you hear that Annie hooked up with Jason last night?" say, "Did you know that Annie is an amazing artist? You should see one of her paintings sometime!" Think about how much better you'll feel about spreading goodwill.
- Remember that everyone is different, and that makes the world more interesting!
- Being judgmental can really hurt someone's feelings, just as it would hurt your own.
- Focus on living your own life, not on dictating someone else's.
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| How to Wear Swim Goggles Posted: 30 Jun 2018 09:00 AM PDT Swimming goggles protect your eyes and allow you to see better underwater, so putting them on correctly is important. A good pair of goggles fits over your eyes, sealing them in without pinching your skin. The back strap should hold the goggles in place without pressing too hard against your head. Shop around for goggles that fit you well and suit your needs so that you can swim in comfort. EditPutting on and Taking off Goggles - Place your hands around the eye cups. Hold the goggles in front of you with the inner part of the lenses facing towards you. Position your thumbs next to the eye cups. Your right thumb should be next to the right cup and your left thumb next to the left cup.
- The strap will be on the opposite side of the lenses. Use your other fingers to support it.
- Press the lenses against your eyes. Move the goggles towards your face, fitting the lenses over your eyes. Make sure the eye cups cover your eyes completely, suctioning to your skin to keep water out. The eye cups should feel comfortable to wear.[1]
- If putting on the goggles this way seems too difficult, you can slide the back strap and eye cups over your head at the same time.
- Move the strap behind your head until it is at eye level. Sweep your arms over your head, pulling the strap back. Rest the strap against the back of your head. It should be even with the lenses over your eyes.
- The strap should feel comfortable to wear. If it doesn't, the goggles likely aren't the right fit for you.[2]
- Move the goggles until they feel firm around your eyes. Swimming goggles are designed to create a watertight seal around your eyes. Reposition the eye cups so you can see clearly out of the lenses. The goggles should rest on your eye sockets. When the goggles feel tight against your skin, you know they won't fall off.[3]
- If the lenses are easy to remove or pop off your face, they aren't positioned correctly. You may need to readjust their positioning or get goggles that fit you better.
- Pull the head strap up to remove the goggles. Slide your thumbs behind your ears and underneath the back strap. Raise the strap until it is above your head. Then, bring the strap forward until the goggles pop off your eyes.
- Avoid pulling on the eye cups. They can snap back and hit you in the face.
EditSelecting Goggles by Type - Order prescription goggles if you have a vision problem. You can order prescription goggles from an eye care specialist or find premade versions at swim shops. These goggles allow you to see in the water, so you don't need to worry about glasses or contacts.[4]
- A good pair of goggles will let you see clearly under the water with no blurring.
- Contacts generally should not be worn in the water due to bacteria. However, disposable contacts you throw out at the end of the day are safe to use.
- Choose darker lenses for outdoor use. Goggles with darker lenses typically include UV protection as well as an anti-fog coating. They are good for blocking out sunlight in bright environments, such as on a summer day. If you swim during the middle of the day, darker lenses can be the right choice for you.[5]
- Darker lenses are kind of like sunglasses. Similar to sunglasses, they aren't meant for indoor use.
- The anti-fog coating wears off over time, which can make the lenses darker.
- Pick light-colored lenses if you swim indoors. Light-colored lenses let in more light, so they are a good choice for most swimming occasions. Lenses come in a few different colors that can affect how well you see the water. Wear goggles with clear lenses in poorly-lit environments.[6]
- These goggles may also have lenses colored pink, purple, or green. However, orange lenses are the most effective at brightening up swimming areas.
- Pick goggles with an adjustable nose piece for more comfort. Fitting goggles that aren't adjustable can be difficult. Fortunately, many goggles can be tightened or loosened. The nose strap is often an elastic band you simply pull back to adjust, although this differs depending on the goggles.[7]
- Some goggles have string nose straps that you thread between the eye cups.
- Some goggles have clip-on nose straps you can swap out for different sizes.
- Buy Swedish goggles for an inexpensive but adjustable option. Swedish goggles are an older style still popular with many swimmers. An adjustable string nose strap holds the eye cups together. The eye cups are made out of a hard plastic, but the lenses usually offer UV protection for outdoor swimming. Ordinary pairs of goggles may be more comfortable but larger and less customizable than Swedish goggles.[8]
- Swedish goggles can cost about $20 USD for a pack of 3 with different lens shades.
- Swedish goggles are simple, but you do need to assemble them yourself, so they may be a bad option for children.
- The hard plastic means these goggles often hurt the first time you wear them, as well as any time you bump into something while swimming.
- Purchase racing goggles for comfort and performance. Race goggles can be made in many different varieties, so you can always find a pair that fits your face. Some swimmers appreciate the comfort that allows them to focus solely on swimming. The comfort factor and manufacturing process means these goggles can get expensive. Racing goggles are smaller than ordinary goggles and may feel uncomfortable when used for long swimming sessions.[9]
- Racing goggles can be as much as $50 USD per pair.
- Thinner goggles with smaller lenses have less rubber in them, making them more aerodynamic. However, they can be uncomfortable when used daily.
EditTesting Goggles for Fit - Pick goggles that match the shape of your eye sockets. A good pair of goggles feels unobtrusive on your face. The shape of the eye cups can be the difference between swimming freely and swimming with pain. Compare the shapes of lenses and try on different pairs of goggles before making a choice.
- For example, if your eyes are rounded, you may want to test out goggles with rounded lenses.
- If your eyes are almond-shaped, you can choose goggles with narrower lenses.
- Press the eye cups against your eyes to test the suction. Avoid putting the strap on your head while doing this. Position the lenses over your eyes, pressing them firmly against your face. If the goggles fit properly, they should stick to your skin for a few seconds before popping off.[10]
- Goggles that fall off immediately are the wrong shape for you.
- If only 1 eye cup sticks in place, the goggles could be an acceptable fit. Test other pairs of goggles first before deciding on a purchase.
- Choose deeper goggles if your eyelashes hit the lenses. This can be very distracting and uncomfortable while swimming. Blink your eyes while the goggles are over them. If this feels uncomfortable to you, you need more spacious lenses.[11]
- Goggles with deeper lenses protrude away from your eyes, giving them more space.
- Test the back strap for comfort. Once you have a pair of goggles that fit you, put them on normally. Position the strap against the back of your head so it is level with the eye cups. A good strap will be tight against your head but still feel comfortable to wear.[12]
- If the strap hurts to wear, gives you headaches, or causes cloudy vision, the goggles are not a good fit.
- Adjust the nose strap by pulling on it. The nose strap, which is the string or band between the eye cups, also needs to feel comfortable against your skin. Many goggles have adjustable nose straps, which can be tightened by pulling on the strap's ends. Loosen the strap by pushing the ends towards the eye cups.[13]
- If the nose strap feels uncomfortable, look for a different pair of goggles that fit you better.
- Not all goggles have adjustable nose straps. If the goggles fit you well, adjustable straps are not a necessity.
- The strap can be the biggest problem. A tight strap pinches your skin, but a loose strap allows water to get underneath the lenses.
- Children's goggles often have an age range listed on them, but this doesn't matter. Only the fit of the goggles and their comfort level is important.
- Shop around for goggles. If a pair doesn't feel quite right, keep looking until you find something better.
- Check the return policy before buying goggles. Most stores will accept returns if you decide the goggles don't fit you properly.
- Wearing contacts in a pool is not recommended. To avoid bacterial infection, either purchase prescription goggles or change your contacts daily.
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| How to Keep Your Lips Moist Posted: 30 Jun 2018 01:00 AM PDT Dry, cracked lips can be unattractive, not to mention painful. Fortunately, keeping your lips healthy and full is as simple as knowing which products to use and ditching a few bad habits. Drinking more water, using hydrating lipsticks and balms, and exfoliating periodically can all help preserve a plump pucker. In the meantime, limit your exposure to dry conditions and avoid licking your lips to keep them from losing moisture as quickly. EditHydrating Your Lips Naturally - Drink more water. One of the best ways to defend against dry, damaged lips is to make sure you're hydrated from the inside out. Aim to get at least 2 liters (about 8 glasses) a day. As an added bonus, loading up on water will also make your lips appear more full.[1]
- Carry a water bottle or thermos with you so you'll have something to sip on all day long.
- Proper hydration isn't just good for your lips—it makes you healthier in almost every conceivable way.[2]
- Decaffeinated coffee, decaffeinated tea, juice, and other beverages can also help you meet your daily hydration goals. Steer clear of caffeinated beverages and drinks that are high in sodium because these will dry out your lips.
- Turn on a humidifier. Humidifiers introduce moisture to the surrounding environment, which can be a major plus if it's as dry inside as it is outside where you live. Just switch your unit on and leave it running for a few hours a day. Chances are, you'll notice an improvement in the condition of your lips in no time.[3]
- A humidifier may run you anywhere from $50-80, but the benefits it can offer can make it worth the price.
- Rub on some all-natural almond oil, coconut oil, or shea butter. Scoop up a small amount of oil on your fingertip and smear it directly onto your lips. Fatty oils make great natural conditioners, as they moisten, soften, and give lips a healthy glisten. For best results, apply a little oil 2-3 times a day.[4]
- Almond oil is hypoallergenic, which means it's safe to use from head to toe on all skin types.[5]
- The high amounts of vitamins A and E found in organic oils have age-fighting properties that may actually make your lips look younger with continued use. To take advantage of higher concentrations, you could even try using pure vitamin E oil.[6]
- Use cucumber to restore vital moisture. Cut a ripe cucumber into thin slices and place one over each lip while you're lying down, or use them to dab your lips. It will only take a few minutes for your lips to absorb the hydrating, nutrient-infused juices, but their effects will last all day.[7]
- Cucumber treatments can make a fast and effective addition to your nightly skincare routine.
- Topical application of the fruit can also help ease the discomfort of chapped or sunburned lips.[8]
EditUsing Protective Products - Look for lip balms that protect against drying. Keep an eye out for products formulated with nourishing additives like shea butter, vitamin E, and coconut and jojoba oil. These ingredients reinforce the natural barrier on your lip skin to block out external drying agents and prevent moisture loss.[9]
- A quality hydrating balm will also leave your lips feeling softer, smoother, and less sensitive to wind and cold.
- Skip lip treatments containing camphor or menthol, which will only aggravate dry skin even more and could sting your lips if they are irritated.[10]
- Pick up an exfoliating lip scrub. Exfoliating removes dead, flaky skin, leaving only the healthiest tissue behind. Get in the habit of exfoliating your lips every few days, or whenever they're in need. This will be especially important late in the year, when cold weather wreaks havoc on healthy lips.[11]
- Exfoliating scrubs are available in most places where beauty and skincare items are sold.
- For a more do-it-yourself approach, try making your own scrub using ingredients like sea salt, brown sugar, honey, and olive or coconut oil.[12]
- Slather on a sunblock for your lips. You may not realize it, but your lips are just as vulnerable to sunburn as the rest of your extremities. Luckily, there are a wide variety of lipsticks and balms with built-in sun protection on the market these days. Be sure to apply your product liberally before heading to the beach or going for an afternoon stroll.[13]
- Reapply your lip-block every few hours as directed. You should find complete instructions for use on the label.
- Sun-screening lip products can offer valuable protection as strong as 15 SPF.
- Apply hydrating products after using matte lipsticks. In order to remain in place for as long as they do, matte lipsticks have to dry out the surface they stick to. To prevent your lips from becoming a desert, it's best stick to hydrating lipsticks whenever possible, or alternate between the two to restore missing moisture between wears.[14]
- Shea butter, vitamin E, coconut and jojoba oil are among the best ingredients for pampering lips that have been dehydrated by matte lipsticks.
- If you just can't bring yourself to leave the house without your matte lipstick, spread a thin coat of conditioner onto your lips before putting it on to provide a defensive buffer.[15]
EditAvoiding Harmful Habits - Stop licking your lips. Wetting your lips with the tip of your tongue may seem to make a difference in the short term, but it's really doing more harm than good. Over time, the digestive enzymes found in your saliva will eat through the protective barrier on sensitive lip skin.[16]
- Keep some hydrating lipstick or balm within arm's reach. You'll be less tempted to lick your lips if you've recently applied a fresh coat.[17]
- Stick to unflavored lip balms because flavored lip balms may cause you to lick your lips.
- Watch out for spicy or acidic foods. There's enough acidity in a plate of hot wings or a glass of orange juice to have a nearly instantaneous drying effect on your lips. If you eat or drink enough, it can cause them to become cracked and sore. Greasy foods are the worst culprits, since they tend to form a residue that can be hard to wipe away.[18]
- Whenever possible, use utensils like straws or a forks, and eat carefully to make sure as little food makes contact with the area around your mouth as possible.[19]
- Lip conditioners made with natural ingredients like shea butter and aloe vera can be useful for soothing irritated lips.
- Breathe through your nose. If you're not already, start inhaling and exhaling through your nose rather than your mouth. The movement of all that air around your lips can dry them out in a hurry. Keeping your mouth shut is also less likely to mess up your lipstick than opening and closing it constantly.[20]
- If you have no choice but to huff and puff while exercising, open your mouth a little wider so that you're not blowing the air over your pursed lips.
- Mouth breathing is a good behavior to curb, as it comes with a host of other negative consequences, including cottonmouth, teeth grinding, and drool-drenched pillows. Yuck![21]
- If you cannot seem to stop mouth-breathing, then make an appointment with an ear, nose, and throat doctor (ENT). You may have a deviated septum.
- Cover up when it's cold out. Winter weather is notoriously tough on lips. If you have no choice but to brave the elements, pack a scarf or high-collared coat that you can pull up over the bottom half of your face. Not only will it keep your lips off-limits, it will also make you stay warm and comfortable.[22]
- It's especially important to bundle up when you're walking into frigid winds or have to be outside for long periods.
- Feel free to apply lip balm as often as you think is necessary. The key to maintaining moist lips is prevention.
- Stash hydrating lip products in a multitude of places, like your bedside table, purse, locker, or the glove compartment of your car, so you'll always have a ready supply on hand.
- If your problem is severely chapped lips, you may need to switch to medicated products containing ceramides. These waxy molecules can help build back up your lips' natural protective barrier.
- Chronic dry lips could be caused by an allergic reaction to chemicals in toothpastes, chewing gum (cinnamon gum can burn your mouth), fragrances, and other beauty and hygiene products. If none of the methods you've tried have worked for you, it may be a good idea to visit a dermatologist.
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