| How to Get Rid of Phone Anxiety Posted: 24 Aug 2017 05:00 PM PDT For a gadget that is loved by the world and found in just about every purse, pocket, and hand you'd be surprised by how many people fear making phone calls. If you are overcome with anxiety by the thought of talking on the phone, you can learn to manage this anxiety and hold successful phone conversations. First, work to understand your fear of talking on the phone. Then, use practical strategies like role-playing and deep breathing to alleviate your distress when making phone calls. EditConquering Your Fears - Get to the bottom of your fears. The only way to truly conquer your phone anxiety is to figure out what's causing it. Question what's at the bottom of your fear of talking on the phone: Are you worried about saying something embarrassing? Do you fear rejection?
- Take a moment to really notice the thoughts that go through your head before you make a phone call. Notice what kinds of things you are telling yourself. [1]
- Challenge your self-talk. After gaining some insight into what's driving your fear, try to change them. You can do this by modifying what you're telling yourself about talking on the phone. For example, you might be telling yourself that you'll say something stupid or embarrassing.[2]
- If this is the case, try to think about times when you have made a phone call and you didn't say anything embarrassing. Now, reframe your self-talk by saying something like, "I have made several phone calls without embarrassing myself. I am capable of having a successful telephone conversation."
- Work with a therapist. A chronic fear of making telephone calls may be an indicator of a deeper issue, such as social anxiety. By seeing an experienced anxiety therapist, you can identify the underlying problem and develop skills to overcome it.
- For example, treatment for social anxiety may include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques, exposure therapy, and social skills training. These techniques may help you identify anxious thought patterns, learn to face your fears, and develop helpful strategies for managing social situations.[3]
EditManaging Phone Calls - Start with less distressing calls. Do you find yourself feeling more confident during some phone calls and less confident during others? If so, it may help to build your confidence by starting with phone calls that don't cause so much anxiety.[4]
- For example, if you need to make three phone calls—to a friend, to a colleague, and to make a reservation—rank the level of anxiety you feel with each one. Then, start with the least anxiety-provoking, like to a friend. Make that call first to get some good vibes. Then, move to the next one and so on.
- Role-play beforehand. Sometimes phone calls cause anxiety because of the context of the call. In these situations, it may help relieve anxiety to role-play with a friend or family member ahead of time. That way, this person can help you desensitize before the real call and give you feedback about your performance.[5]
- For example, before a telephone job interview, you might do a "mock interview" with a friend. Have them ask you questions. Then, you can provide thoughtful answers as if it were the real deal. Ask for feedback after the "interview" is over so that you can make improvements.
- Get a lot of practice. The more you force yourself to face a fear, the less power it has over you. Therefore, you can gradually reduce the anxiety you feel about making phone calls by making more of them. Instead of sending a text, call a friend, coworker or family member. If you are planning to email a professor or boss, skip the email and call.[6]
- As you practice making more phone calls, you'll likely find the activity doesn't stress you out as much.
- Fake it. There's a classic confidence-building strategy known as "fake it 'til you make it." Try this when you're making phone calls. For instance, even when you're not feeling so confident, lift your chin, pull your shoulders back, and smile during the call. "Faking" confident body language may actually lead to real confidence.[7]
- Fidget. It can be helpful to release anxiety with small movements. When you're planning to make phone calls, take something in your hand, such as a stress ball, a fidget spinner, or a handful of marbles. Play around with these items during the call to release excess tension.[8]
- Enlist backup. If you're required to participate in a phone call that is stressing you out, see if you can get a buddy on the call. This person can be silently present on the line to offer you moral support during the call. Or, they can join in on the call to serve as a buffer when you forget what you were going to say or become tongue-tied.[9]
- For example, if you're checking in with a supervisor, you might plan to have a team member join you on the call. If you're calling a distant relative, ask your mom or sibling to talk to them with you.
EditPerforming Relaxation Techniques - Breathe deeply. Deep breathing is a practical way to get anxiety under control. Plus, you can do this exercise virtually anywhere, even during an active phone call—just be sure not to breathe directly into the speaker. Try pulling the phone away from your mouth for a few deep breaths or mute the line to breathe while the other person is talking.[10]
- Deep breathing involves pulling in air through your nose for several counts (try four). Then, hold the breath for about seven counts. Finally, exhale the breath from your mouth for about eight counts. Repeat the entire cycle for a few minutes until you start to feel calmer.
- If you're on an active call, two to three cycles of deep breathing can help you quickly collect yourself and decrease anxiety.
- Perform a full body scan. Holding tension in your body is really common when you feel anxious. By performing a body scan, you can bring awareness to areas that are tense and relax them. This relaxation exercise may be helpful before or after a distressing phone call.
- Start by taking a few deep breaths. Focus your attention on your toes on one foot. Pay attention to any sensations to feel there. Continue to breathe in and out, envisioning the calming breaths removing any tension in your toes. Once this area is completely relaxed, move up to the sole of your foot, your ankles, your calves and so on until your entire body is relaxed.[11]
- Visualize a successful call. Visualization can be a powerful way to ease anxiety and build confidence about an anxiety-provoking activity like making phone calls. Start by going to a relaxing place in your mind.[12]
- Try a favorite childhood hideout, a soothing riverfront, or a beautiful country meadow. Engage all of your senses to visualize this place in your mind's eye. Then, imagine that the phone rings in this relaxing place. You pick it up and the call goes perfectly. You are not nervous. You speak confidently and intelligently. Whenever anxiety arises, you look around this peaceful place and the tension melts away.
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| How to Use Pomade for Your Beard Posted: 24 Aug 2017 09:00 AM PDT Beards have become increasingly popular in recent years, with many men sporting different styles of facial hair. While it's a welcome respite from the razor for many, beards still require some level of care. A whole range of products are made specifically for this. Among them is pomade, or balm, a product that both promotes healthy facial hair and helps sculpt it. You'll need to choose the right product, then make sure you get your beard ready for it before applying. EditGetting your Beard Ready - Take a shower. Ideally, you should only apply beard pomade after a warm shower. Warm water helps open up your pores and raise up your beard hairs. This makes them more receptive to treatment and styling.[1]
- Wash your beard. Use a beard shampoo if you have it. Otherwise, you can get away with using a face wash, as long as it's not too harsh (if it's made for dealing with acne, don't use it for your beard). In either case, use a small amount, and rub it gently into your beard so it lathers. Massage the product into your skin and rinse well.[2]
- Towel off. Dry off your beard right after you get out of the shower. Don't be too rough with the towel, or you might rip out some hairs and end up with a less than full looking beard. It doesn't need to be bone dry, but it shouldn't be drenched either.
EditChoosing the Right Pomade - Determine whether you need balm or oil. While the two products have a similar purpose, they shouldn't be used interchangeably. Balm allows you to sculpt and style your beard in a way that oil can't, and so is usually better for longer beards. Balm has less of a sheen than beard oil as well, resulting in a more toned-down look.
- Beard oil is better for daily upkeep, but won't work as well on longer beards, since it lacks a balm's sculpting power.[3]
- Choose petroleum-based balms. While different brands of beard pomade will have their own special ingredients, they're always either water or petroleum-based. Avoid the water-based balms, since they tend to be runnier, especially if exposed to liquid after application.[4]
- Choose your scent. Many pomades have a distinct scent, usually due to the unique combination of ingredients used. They usually include essential oils from different sources, and some will have strong smelling ingredients like coffee or citrus. Try to find a shop that will allow you to smell samples, so you know you're choosing a smell that suits you.
- If you have sensitive skin, go for unscented beard pomades to limit the chances of an allergic reaction.
EditApplying the Pomade - Use a fingertip sized amount of balm. Use your fingertip to scoop out some pomade from its container. Don't use too much pomade, since this can clog your pores.
- Your fingers should be clean before applying beard pomade, otherwise any residue on your hands could end up in your pomade and in your beard.
- A fingertip sized amount f beard balm is usually what you'll need. However, depending on a number of factors, such as the thickness and length of your beard, you may need a less or more balm. You'll find the right amount of balm to use through trial and error.[5]
- Spread the balm over your hands. Using beard pomade is very similar to using hair gel. Make sure it's well spread out over the palms of your hands and between your fingertips. This will give you more control when you apply the product, ensuring it covers your beard evenly.[6]
- Run your fingers through your beard. Much like applying hair gel or pomade, you want to use your fingers much like a comb, running them through your beard. Do this from multiple angles to ensure the balm is evenly distributed throughout the beard.
- Massage the balm into your skin as well; this will help keep your beard lush and healthy..[7]
- Rinse excess beard pomade if needed. It's possible to get overzealous with your balm and apply just a bit too much. You'll know this is the case if your beard is looking extra shiny and greasy. Unfortunately, you'll need to fully rinse your beard and start over, this time using a bit less balm.
- Brush and comb your beard. While not strictly necessary, this step will give your beard more fullness and help you apply the balm more evenly throughout your facial hair. The brush will help straighten out your beard hairs and coat them with balm evenly. The comb will give you more control over your beard, letting you sculpt and shape it.[8]
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| How to Absorb What You Read Posted: 24 Aug 2017 01:00 AM PDT With the constant distractions around you, it can be hard to absorb what you read in a meaningful way. You may struggle with absorbing a text for a class or reading a book for pleasure. To absorb what you read, start by creating a quiet reading environment. Then, make an effort to read the text slowly and carefully. You can also take notes on the text to help you absorb the content and better understand it. EditCreating a Quiet Reading Environment - Find a quiet, isolated area. Pick a reading spot that you know will be quiet and have the least amount of distractions. At home, this might be your bedroom or a room upstairs, away from shared areas like the kitchen or living room. At school, you may read in the quiet area of the library or in a quiet corner of the study hall.[1]
- Choose an area that has thick walls and a door or a partition. This will help to block out noise and other sounds that could distract you from your reading.
- Block out noise and distractions. If you know there is going to be noise where you are reading, wear noise cancelling headphones or ear plugs. Close all doors to keep out noise. This will help you stay focused on the text.
- You should also turn off your cellphone and your wifi. This way, you are not distracted by social media or text messages.
- Tell others to leave you alone. Let those around you know that you are trying to focus on reading. Put up a Do Not Disturb sign on your door. Ask others around you to stay away from your room or area so you can try to absorb the text in peace.
- You may instruct others to leave you alone for a set period of time, such as 30 minutes or 1 hour. This way, you are assured of some peace and quiet for a set period of time so you can focus on the text.
EditReading Slowly and Carefully - Read a printed text. Reading a text that is printed on a page, rather than on a computer, will make it easier for your eyes to focus on the text. Print out texts that are online or on a computer so you have the physical copy. This way, your eyes will not have to strain to read the text on a computer screen.[2]
- If you are worried about using too much paper, print on both sides of the paper. Choose the double sided option when you print the text. You can also use recycled paper to print the text.
- Alternatively, you can read the text on an eReader or on a screen designed for reading small print. Make the text large and easy to read on an eReader so you do not have to strain your eyes when reading.
- Skim the text for keywords, ideas, and themes. Look for words that are repeated several times. Identify ideas that seem important to the rest of the text. Notice themes that reappear from page to page. Skimming the text for these elements will make it easier for you to then understand the rest of the text when you read it in full.[3]
- Keep these keywords, ideas, and themes in mind when you read the text in detail. Use them as a guide for your reading.
- Read the text out loud. Reading the text aloud to yourself can help you slow down and read the text more carefully. Listen to each sentence as you read it aloud. Pay attention to how the words sound on the page. Notice repetition, turns of phrase, and the language used in the text.[4]
- To keep the reading engaging, you may try reading the text aloud with a peer or friend. Take turns reading the text aloud. This will allow you to listen to the text when it is being read by someone else.
- Revisit passages you do not understand. If you struggle with certain sentences or sections in the text, re-read them. Read each word slowly and consider the meaning of each sentence in the section. Spend some time pulling apart the passage. This will help you better understand it.[5]
- Once you have re read the passage, consider it within the context of the rest of the text. Ask yourself, "How does this passage relate to the text as a whole?" "What does this passage say about the key themes or ideas in the text?"
EditTaking Notes on the Text - Highlight or underline sentences you find interesting. Use a highlighter or a pen to underline sentences that stand out to you. Look for sentences you find striking or interesting. Do not be afraid to markup the text with underlines and highlights, as this will force you to read the text more closely.[6]
- Try to only highlight or underline sentences that you think are really important. Highlighting or underlining the text too much can make it hard for you to identify sentences that are important, and you'll end up with pages of underlines and highlights.
- Only highlight or underline the book if you own it and it is okay to do so. Library books, borrowed texts, and old texts may not be suitable for highlighting and underlining.
- Put notes in the margins. Reflect on the text as you read by jotting down notes in the margins. Write down short thoughts you have about the text. Put a question mark next to sentences you do not understand. Put one to two words next to lines that spark a thought for you.[7]
- For example, you may write in the margins "key detail" or "explores main theme."
- Only make notes in the margins if you own the book and you are allowed to do so. Do not write directly in library books and old texts that are not yours.
- Make notes in a notebook if you can't mark up the book. You can also make notes about the text in a notebook or on a piece of paper. Pull quotes from the text that you find interesting or important and write them down in the notebook. Then, add notes next to it. Or put the page number from the text down next to the note.
- For example, you may make a note about a particular passage like, "important discussion of title" or "key character moment."
- You may designate a notebook to a particular text so you can return to it for reference later. Having separate notes in a notebook may be a good idea even if you can write in the book.
- Create a list of questions about the text. Asking questions about the text will help you become a better reader. Pretend you are having a conversation with the text directly. Ask questions about passages you are confused about or intrigued by. Add to the list of questions as you read.[8]
- For example, you may ask questions like, "How does this sentence explore key themes in the text?" "Why did the author include this example?" "How does this passage make me feel as a reader?"
- Keep the list of questions in a separate notebook so you can refer to them later.
- Make a list of words you do not recognize. Identify any vocabulary that you are not familiar with or do not know the meaning of. Keep a running list of terms. Use a dictionary to look them up and then consider the definition in the context of the sentence. This will help you better understand the text and read it more closely.[9]
- You may keep a dictionary handy while you read the text so you can look up words quickly and easily.
- Keep the list of vocabulary in a separate notebook so you can look at them later.
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