| How to Calm Down at Work Posted: 07 May 2017 05:00 PM PDT The workplace can be a stressful place. Anxiety, conflict, bad management, overwork and more can lead to frustration and other types of distress. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to help you calm down. First, take a moment to focus on your breath and engage your body. Similarly, stimulate your senses for a simple, positive effect on your mood. Finally, a handful of other ways to adjust your mindset can also help you calm down at work. EditRelaxing Your Body - Slow down your breathing. Deep, measured breathing can calm your mind and your body considerably. If you're sitting somewhere with privacy, place your hand on your abdomen and breath in deeply for five seconds. Breathe deeply enough for your hand to rise visibly. After a pause, slowly exhale until you don't have any breath left.[1]
- Focus on breathing in through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.
- If you're in the presence of others, simply mentally count to five while breathing in, and count to five again while exhaling.
- Try to think only about your breath, pushing other thoughts away without assessing them.
- Engage your body at your workstation. If you're unable to leave your work area, stand and stretch for a moment. You can also roll your head, shoulder, and ankles while sitting. Muscle tension exercises can help you calm down too.[2]
- Focus on one particular muscle or muscle group at a time. For instance, start by scrunching all of your face muscles as tightly as you can for twenty seconds and slowly releasing them.
- Then move down to your neck, and so on, all the way down to your toes.
- Raise your heart rate. If possible, sneak off to the stairwell for one or two sets of jumping jacks. The endorphins that your body releases when exercising can have a potently relaxing effect on your mood. Even better, step outside for a brief, brisk walk.[3]
- A short walk outside offers the opportunity to breathe, move, and stimulate many of your senses all at once.
EditEngaging Your Senses - Keep something you like to look at within sight. A photo of a loved one or a favorite personal memento are the best examples. Keep such an item somewhere you can glance at it whenever you wish to do so. A vase of flowers on your desk is another good example.[4]
- If there's nothing in your immediate vicinity to look at, imagine a place or person you enjoy and picture them in your head. This type of simple mental imaging can help calm you down.
- Try vocal toning. Vocal toning is a practice that can reduce the amount of stress hormones in your system. It is similar to making the "ohm" sound that is popular with yoga practitioners. Find somewhere private and quiet to try it out.[5]
- Sit up straight and make an "mmmm" sound while keeping your lips together and your teeth a bit apart.
- Though this may seem silly at first, the breathing and the vibrations that this leads to can cause pleasant sensations in your face, heart, and stomach.
- Listen to something you enjoy. If you're generally on edge or otherwise anxious at work, a bit of soothing background noise can help calm you down. Singing or humming along with a tune can be especially effective, but so can simply listening to music you enjoy.[6]
- Soundtracks of nature noise(s) can also be reliably soothing. You can find all sorts of recordings of waves, wind, and birds online.
- Even better, equip your workplace with a small fountain and enjoy the sound of bubbling or running water.
- Smell, touch, or taste something enjoyable. Stimulating your other senses with sensations you enjoy can also help calm you down. Keep things like a scented candle, a stress ball to hold, or a healthy and enjoyable snack in your work area, if possible.[7]
- It's important to note a difference between stress eating and stimulating your sense of taste to help calm down. For instance, you don't want to crush a bag of chips every time your blood starts to boil. That said, chewing a piece of gum might just do the trick!
EditDealing with Frustration - Talk it out with a sympathetic party. In addition to mindful breathing, talking to someone is a great way to calm down. Face-to-face interaction with someone else that is relaxed is especially helpful, particularly when it is someone you trust.[8]
- Meanwhile, good communication with your professional peers is vital. If you and another co-worker are consistently frustrated with one another, set up a time to speak with them. Say something like, "Hey, Sarah, let's sit down sometime soon and chat to make sure we're on the same page about our upcoming project."
- Be careful of venting. Talking about the frustrations and problems to someone else in the office can relieve negative feelings. It can be useful. However, venting to a co-worker may blow up if your boss overhears you or someone hears you complaining. Also, simply venting is not helpful if it is not followed up by action to actually address the problem.
- Reassure yourself verbally. Whatever the cause of your distress, it can be helpful to remind yourself that the world isn't ending. Thinking to yourself, "This is only temporary," can be a surprisingly effective way to calm down. Even better, state this phrase or something like it to yourself out loud.[9]
- Your thoughts as well as your words affect both the way you feel, as well as how you behave. Reassuring yourself can not only calm you down, it can help you get in a better mindset to proceed with your day.
- Other simple reassuring statements that might work include, "I'm okay," and "This is going to work out."
- Write down the reason you are upset. Forcing yourself to address the specific reason you are upset can help you calm down. The best way to try to figure out exactly what's bothering you is trying to write it down.[10]
- Not only is the act of writing itself calming, getting your thoughts and feelings out on paper can help clarify an issue you're having.
- Writing down your thoughts can even help you determine the best way to address the source or your frustration or anxiety and move forward.
- Re-frame frustrating scenarios in a way that amuses you. You may be able to laugh at yourself by stepping back and reassessing stressful or frustrating experiences. To increase your ability to do so, come up with a way to head-off potential frustrations by contextualizing them humorously.[11]
- One particular option: make a Bingo card that includes all of the things about work that frustrate you from time to time. Next time any of those things happen, you may wind up chuckling while you mark your Bingo card instead of getting worked up.
- Fake calmness. Though this one may be a bit challenging, it's worth noting that it can actually work. Focus on controlling your emotions and acting as though you are not upset. Your mindset will sometimes shift to match the way you're acting.[12]
- Seek professional help. If you consistently struggle with stress, frustration, or anger, it's worth speaking with a mental health professional. There's absolutely nothing wrong with seeking assistance handling your emotions, and you're likely to wind up more calm, more content, and even more productive at work.[13]
- Call your doctor for a recommendation about mental health professionals in your area.
- Alternatively, look online for forums or in-person support groups about work place frustrations. There are likely other people experiencing the same sort of struggles, and you may be able to support one another and exchange advice.
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| How to Use Cacao Nibs Posted: 07 May 2017 09:00 AM PDT Cacao nibs are unprocessed chocolate, or chocolate that has not been combined with sugar to create a sweet and smooth flavor. The nibs smell like rich chocolate, but they taste very bitter. In some instances you can pick up a fruity and toasted nut flavor. Cacao nibs are becoming increasingly popular as a chocolate replacement in many classic recipes. In order to use cacao nibs try adding them to your favorite sweet recipes, include them in a variety of breakfast meals, and experiment with them when creating gourmet savoury dishes.[1] EditAdding Cacao Nibs to Sweets - Sprinkle them on baked goods before cooking. Cacao nibs have a unique bitter flavour, similar to dark chocolate, but with no added sugars. By sprinkling them on the top of baked goods, you will be able to taste the flavour of the nibs without being overwhelmed. The sweet flavour from the baked goods will soften the intensity.[2]
- Substitute nuts or chocolate for cacao nibs. If you are making chocolate chip cookies, or banana nut muffins, try substituting the chocolate chips or nuts for cacao nibs. You could also try adding them to brittle instead of, or in addition to, nuts.[3]
- Add cacao nibs to ice cream. Try using cacao nibs as an ice cream topping. The bitter taste of the cacao nibs will complement nicely with the sweet flavor of the ice cream. You can also combine with additional toppings, such as berries and nuts to make a tasty dessert.[4]
- Try candied cacao nibs. Candied cacao nibs are coated in a caramelized sugar. These treats can be a delicious stand alone snack, or you can try adding them to baked goods, such as truffles, brownies, and cakes. In order to make candied cacao nibs:[5]
- Combine ½ a cup (118 ml) of granulated sugar, 2 tablespoons of water, and 1 tablespoon of corn syrup in a small saucepan. Place the saucepan on the stove on medium heat and stir until the sugar dissolves.
- Bring the mixture to a boil and then insert a thermometer and continue to cook (without stirring) until the mixture reaches 330 F (165 C).
- Remove the pan from the heat and add 1 cup (237 ml) of cacao nibs. Once the nibs are thoroughly coated, add 1 tablespoon of unsalted butter.
- Then line a baking sheet with tinfoil and scoop the candied mixture onto the tinfoil. Spread out evenly across the baking sheet.
- Let the candied cacao cool at room temperature until it has hardened. Then you can break into bits and enjoy!
EditIncluding Cacao Nibs in Your Breakfast - Try adding them to pancakes. Once you have created the batter for your pancakes, stir in 1 tablespoon of cacao nibs. This will give a rich flavor of unsweetened chocolate that will come to life when combined with syrup. You can also sprinkle a few additional nibs onto the pancakes before serving, if you desire.[6]
- Include cacao nibs in granola. Eating a bowl of granola mixed with yogurt and berries is a great and healthy way to start off the day. Simply add ½ cup (118 ml) of cacao nibs to the dry ingredients of your homemade granola. With 100% natural ingredients you can create a delicious granola using cacao nibs to give a creamy chocolaty flavor, without any added sugars.[7]
- Make a cacao nib breakfast smoothie. Smoothies are a fast and easy way to start the day and you can easily incorporate cacao nibs into your favorite recipe. Simply add 2 tablespoons of cacao nibs to the blender and mix with your favorite smoothie ingredients.[8]
- For a delicious combination of flavors try blending: 2 tablespoons of cacao nibs, 1 frozen banana (peeled), ½ cup (118 ml) of coffee (brewed and cooled), 4 tablespoons of coconut milk, 1 ½ tablespoons of agave, and a handful of ice.
EditUsing Cacao Nibs in Savoury Meals - Pair cacao nibs with grilled meats. Cacao nibs can also be paired with savoury meals, such as meats. You can try crushing cacao nibs and then mixing them with other spices, such as pepper, salt, garlic powder, and paprika to create a steak rub.[9]
- Try adding cacao nibs to salad. Cacao nibs can add depth and flavour to your salad. Using a base of mixed greens or arugula, create a salad by adding cacao nibs, pomegranate seeds, goats cheese, fennel, and olives. Top the salad with a simple vinaigrette.[10]
- Make a pesto using cacao nibs. Pesto is a delicious spread that can be put onto a nice peice of bread or crostini and served as an appetizer. Create a cacao nib pesto by combining crushed cacao nibs with olive oil, crushed olives, and a few chopped basil leaves.[11]
- You can purchase cacao nibs at a health food or gourmet grocery store.
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| How to Handle a Demanding Preschooler Posted: 07 May 2017 01:00 AM PDT A demanding child may want all of your attention all of the time, which can be exhausting! If you're noticing your child becoming increasingly demanding, sit down and talk to them in age-appropriate speech about demands and requests. Teach them how to make polite requests and accept "No" for an answer. Above all, remain consistent in your enforcement and consequences. Find ways to praise the child's positive behaviors and let them know that you appreciate positive behaviors over attention-seeking behaviors. EditTalking with Your Child - Talk about demands versus requests. Sit down with your child and talk about behavior. Show them the difference between a demand and a request, and why a request is better. Say a few examples and then ask your preschooler for some examples or demands and requests.[1]
- For example, say, "Let's say you are hungry. Should you say, 'Mom! I need grapes, go get me grapes!' or, 'Mom, would you please help me with the grapes? I'm hungry.'?"
- If your child makes a demand, say, "Can you try that again?" or, "Can you make that a request and not a demand please?"
- Tell them that some things are yes and others are no. Talk with your child and let them know that sometimes the answer will be yes and other times the answer will be no. A "No" is okay, even if the child is upset. Explain that even if the answer is no, that you still love them and want what is best for them.[2]
- You can say, "I know there are lots of things you want to do, but some will be yes's and others will be no's. Even when I tell you 'No,' I still love you."
- Teach manners. It's never too early to start teaching manners to children. Explain the powers of using the words "please" and "thank you." Use opportunities for your child to practice their manners and use gentle reminders in the moment.[3]
 - Games and videos can be very helpful in teaching manners, as they will engage your child and make it easier for them to remember what they've learned. Search online for videos about manners (there should be no shortage of these) and play games that help reinforce good manners.
- For instance, you can help teach your child table manners by choosing one topic every night (chewing with your mouth closed, saying please and thank you, holding silverware properly, etc.) and discuss the dos and don'ts. Then have your children design badges and paper tickets, and let them take turns policing manners at dinner time. The child can issue tickets to those who are breaking the rules. Whoever has the fewest tickets at the end of the meal gets to choose dessert (or the movie you will watch or some other reward).[4]
- Show how you can add "please" to a request such as, "May I have my teddy bear, please?" Tell your child that this is a much nicer way than saying, "Give me my teddy!"
- Model polite manners by using "please" and "thank you" in your own speech. You can also point out when other children are being polite and praise them.
- Create behavior rules. Help your child understand your expectations for them by having house rules.[5] For example, you may choose to say that you no longer respond to demands, only to requests. If your child makes a demand, redirect them or use a consequence. Having clear expectations can help your preschooler succeed and make meaningful changes to their behavior.
- If your child starts a demand, say, "When you make demands, you know you will have a consequence. Do you want to try again or do you want a consequence?"
- Say, "When you break a rule, you get a consequence. Talking to me that way means you're getting a timeout."
EditHandling Problem Behaviors - Use the power of "No." You may give into your preschooler's demands for a myriad of reasons: guilt for not spending enough time with them, wanting them to be happy, or giving them what they want. Yet, when you say "No," you teach your child boundaries and how to handle disappointment. Your child may wonder why they are being denied, so give a brief explanation.[6]
- Say, "I know you want fast food, but I said no. We are not getting fast food today. We had it yesterday so we are not eating it today."
- Be firm. If your preschooler keeps whining, say, "Whining doesn't work on me. I said no."
- Ignore their demands. If you've talked about requests vs. demands and you've asked your child to make a request, ignore the demand. Say, "I can't understand you when you talk to me that way," or do not say anything at all. Enforce that making demands is not a way to get what they want and it no longer works. However, you are willing to respond to requests.[7]
- Validate your child's feelings yet remain firm by saying, "I know you want that, and not having it makes you feel really angry and upset."[8]
- Say, "I'm not answering you when you speak like that. I can listen to you if you ask nicely."
- Respond to requests. Give your full attention when your preschooler makes a request. Reinforcing their polite requests will help them behave more positively and as less demanding. Praise their request and answer accordingly, even if the answer is no.[9]
- Say, "You did a nice job asking for what you want. Thank you. Yes, I will help you tie your shoes."
- You can also say, "Thank you for asking so politely. However, right now we are not going to play, we are going to put away the toys."
- Handle public behaviors. If the child is making demands in front of others, talk about how this is inappropriate. This can include other adults or the child's friends. Make a rule that any demands made in front of others will receive an automatic "No."[10]
- If your child becomes demanding on shopping trips, let them know ahead of time that you will not be buying anything extra. Make it clear that you are going to the store for certain items, and you are not buying toys or other items for the child.
- Expect tantrums. If you're making new changes to your preschooler's behavior, expect some hiccups before their behavior improves. A child may test your limits or if you plan to actually enforce your rules. This can result in tantrums or bad behavior at home or in public. Show your child that you are in control and will enforce rules and consequences.[11]
- Be firm if your child tantrums. Say, "You are not getting what you want, no matter how much you scream and yell and kick."
- If you need some help responding to a tantrum, check out How to Handle Your Child's Temper Tantrum.
- Present a united front. If you are in a two-parent household, or there are other adults who are helping to parent your child, it is important that you are all consistent in enforcing consequences. If you are not responding to your preschooler's demands, you can bet they will go to the other parent and make the same demands. If the other parent gives in, this not only allows the behavior to continue, but undermines your parenting. Communicate privately with your partner about how you will handle demands and problem behaviors and be sure to pass this information on to anyone else who might be watching your child.[12]
- Think about who interacts with the preschooler regularly (such as family members and daycare providers) and clue them in to the changes. Say, "We've made some changes to how we respond to their demands. Please do the same."
EditContinuing Positive Behaviors - Enforce rules consistently. Once you make a rule, enforce it every time. For example, if you set bedtime at 7:30, have a no-nonsense approach to sending your child to bed once it's time. A demanding child may insist on staying up later, however, say, "You know the rule: bedtime is at 7:30."[13]
- You can also say, "I know you want to stay up later, but it's time for bed. You might not like it, but this is what's happening."
- Create a visual schedule for your child to follow. When they start to contest, say, "Look at the schedule. What time is it? That's right, it's time for a bath."
- Set up special 1-on-1 time. A demanding preschooler may want your attention throughout the day. Instead of being available at all hours, set up special time for your preschooler (and better, yet, each of your kids) for 15 minutes each day. Give them your full attention during that time and engage in ways that are meaningful to them.[14]
- If your child is making a demand, say, "I'm busy now, but I'm looking forward to our special time at 3:30."
- Reinforce positive behaviors. A child may become increasingly demanding when they are going unnoticed by their parent and want attention. Catch your child doing positive behaviors and praise them in the act. This can help enforce positive behaviors as getting positive attention.[15]
- For example, say, "I noticed you cleaned up your toys soon as you finished playing with them. Great job!"
- Try using a reward schedule or calendar, posted where your child can see it. They can use stickers to mark days when they have kept up with the positive behaviors you agreed upon. You can reward your child for being consistently good. If, for instance, they get five stickers during the week, then they get to choose a small toy.
- Talk about empathy. If your child makes a demand of you, say, "How would it make you feel if somebody talked to you like that?" Talk about how they want to be treated and in turn, how to treat others. Let them know that their behavior affects others. What would it be like if you talked to them in that tone or with that kind of demand?[16] This is a good opportunity to talk about treating people the way they want to be treated and building empathy for other people.
- For example, ask, "What would it be like if I interrupted you? Would you like it if I woke you up telling you to make me breakfast?"
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