| How to Clean a K&N Air Filter Posted: 25 Apr 2017 05:00 PM PDT K&N auto air filters are prized for their durable construction and long lifespan. Unlike normal paper filters, they can be cleaned and reused for tens of thousands of miles, which will spare you the inconvenience of having to have your air filter replaced regularly. Best of all, they're a cinch to clean. Using the Recharger kit included with your K&N filter, just spray the filter with the cleaning solution, rinse it and apply a new coat of dust-trapping oil. Keeping your K&N air filter clean and in good condition will greatly improve your vehicle's mileage and overall performance. EditCleaning the Filter - Remove the filter. Pop the hood on your vehicle to access the engine compartment. Find your air filter—these are almost always housed inside a large plastic box that makes them easily identifiable. If there are ring clamps or latches holding the filter in place, disengage them and lift the filter straight out.[1]
- Depending on the make and model of your vehicle, the air filter may be flat, circular or conical in shape. The methods used to clean the filter will be the same regardless of its design.[2]
- You may also want to stick a towel or some other object into the air intake port to keep debris from entering the engine after the filter has been removed.
- Determine whether your filter needs cleaning. K&N advises that their air filters only require service if any of the filter's folds are covered so thickly with dust or dirt that they're no longer visible. If you can still plainly see the pleats on your filter, it may not need to be cleaned, even if it appears dirty.[3]
- If your filter looks clogged or fuzzy, or if it's lost all traces of its reddish oil coat, it's probably due for a cleaning.
- Shake off loose dust and dirt. Give the filter a gentle shake to dislodge whatever debris is resting on the surface. Don eye protection and a breathing mask if you have them to avoid inhaling dust particles. Be careful not to shake the filter too hard or handle the pleats directly, as this could potentially damage them.[4]
- You can also use a soft-bristled brush to remove dust without harming the filter.
- To avoid making a mess, it's recommended that you remove your air filter outside.
- Spray the filter with cleaning solution. Grab the bottle of aerosol cleaner that came included with your filter. Spray the filter liberally on both sides. It's important that you clean both both the inner and outer surfaces of the filter, not just the dirty exterior pleats. Make sure each individual pleat has been thoroughly misted with cleaner.[5]
- Use as much solution as you need to completely coat both sides of the filter.
- K&N's proprietary air filter cleaning solution can be purchased online or wherever auto accessories are sold.
- Allow the solution to soak on the filter for 10 minutes. As the cleaner sits on the filter, it will begin to cut through caked-on grime, making it easy to rinse away. Place the filter in the sink or on a towel while the cleaning solution does its job. This will prevent dissolved gunk from running off and staining your work surface.[6]
- Be careful not to let the cleaning solution dry on the filter.
EditRinsing and Drying the Filter - Rinse the filter from the inside out with cool water. Turn on a hose or tap to a light stream. Hold the air filter directly under the stream so that the water runs through the inside of the filter to the outside. The water will carry away the dust and dirt loosened by the cleaning solution.[7]
- Rinsing from the outside in will just force dirt further into the filter.[8]
- If your air filter happens to be especially filthy, you may need to repeat the cleaning and rinsing process more than once in order to restore it to a like-new condition.
- Shake off the excess water. Alternatively, you can rest the filter against another object at an angle and let it drip-dry. Get off as much standing moisture as you can. Again, try not to handle the filter too roughly.[9]
- Set the filter on a clean, dry towel to absorb more water.
- For quicker drying, make sure you leave the filter in a well-ventilated area at a mild temperature.[10]
- Let the filter air dry overnight. It will usually take somewhere between six and eight hours for the filter to dry completely indoors. Plan on servicing your air filter at a time that you know you won't need to drive anywhere.[11]
- Do not attempt to apply oil while the filter is still wet.[12]
- If need be, you can temporarily install a regular disposable air filter so that you'll be able to use your vehicle while your K&N filter finishes drying.
EditOiling the Filter - Apply a thin coat of oil to each fold in the filter. Your K&N air filter Recharger kit should also include a separate oil in either a squeeze bottle or aerosolized spray can. This oil needs to be spread directly over each pleat in the filter. If you're using a squeeze bottle, run the tip along the top of the pleat as you squeeze. If you're using a spray can, hold the filter a few inches away from the nozzle to ensure that the oil coats properly.[13]
- K&N air filter oil contains a subtle red dye that makes it easy to see how much of the filter you've covered. By the time you're finished, the entire filter should have a reddish tint to it.
- Use a paper towel to wipe away excess oil around the edges of the filter and work the oil more evenly into the pleats.[14]
- Be sure to work outside or in another well-ventilated area and spray the oil away from your face.
- Let the oil stand for 20 minutes. The oil will wick into the surface of the filter, creating a more effective barrier.[15]
- Oil is used to help the filter collect dust, dirt and other debris as it enters the air intake.
- The oil also serves to protect the filter from deterioration, extending its lifespan.
- Replace the air filter. Slide the filter back into its specified slot in the engine compartment. Remember to reattach any clips or clamps that secure it. Your car's engine will now be protected, optimized and ready for up to another 50,000 miles of open road![16]
- Even though K&N air filters are designed to last, you should still get in the habit of checking the condition of your filter every 25,000 miles.[17]
- If you placed a stopper in your air intake, don't forget to remove it before reinstalling your filter.
- Keep close tabs on your mileage so you'll know exactly when your air filter requires cleaning or replacing.
- It's a good idea to wear gloves to keep the cleaning solution and tinted oil from getting all over your hands.
- Drying times may be reduced significantly if you leave the filter to sit out on a warm, sunny day.
- If you tend to drive in dusty off-road conditions, you'll likely need to clean your air filter more frequently.
- When you begin to notice structural damage to fabric of your filter, it's time to replace it with a new one.
- Never use other means, such as a blow dryer, microwave or oven, to try to cut down on how long it takes the filter to dry. This is guaranteed to ruin your filter.
- Be careful not to over-oil your filter. Excess oil could get sucked into the air intake, triggering your "check engine" light and hindering your engine's performance.
EditThings You'll Need - K&N air filter
- K&N air filter Recharger kit
- Rubber gloves
- Soft-bristled brush
- Hose or faucet
- Large bath towel
- Paper towels
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Keep Spiders and Scorpions Out of Your House Using Natural Products Posted: 25 Apr 2017 09:00 AM PDT Spiders and scorpions are pesky intruders that belong outside. They make houses dirtier by building webs and nests, and some can even be dangerous with poisonous bites and painful stings. Needless to say, you probably don't consider them welcome guests in your home. With a little effort and regular cleaning, you can keep spiders and scorpions out of your house by spraying natural repellents and using other natural remedies. EditUsing Preventative Sprays and Powders - Purchase essential oils. Essential oils, while quite pleasant smelling to humans, have been proven very useful in repelling spiders and scorpions. The smells can be overwhelming to their sensitive senses and keep them from infiltrating the area.[1]
- Some of the most effective essential oils in combating spiders and scorpions include peppermint, tea tree, neem, and citrus.
- Some recommend lavender for use in repelling spiders and scorpions, but results are mixed. It's probably best to focus your essential oil purchases on peppermint, citrus, neem, or tea tree.
- Make a spray. Create your own spider and scorpion repellant by making a spray to use around your home. In a clean spray bottle, combine 5-7 drops of essential oils (you can use peppermint, lavender, tea tree, or citrus) with some warm water.[2]
- Spray the mixture around your home, focusing specifically on areas that spiders and scorpions prefer like under furniture, in corners, around mounted light fixtures, and other out-of-the-way spaces.
- You can also add a teaspoon of white vinegar or eco-friendly dish soap to make the mixture additionally effective.
- Use diatomaceous earth. Diatomaceous earth is an inexpensive powder composed of the fossilized remains of diatoms, a kind of algae. It works as a repellant for spiders and scorpions (and other bugs) by absorbing all of the moisture out of its surroundings, including the unwanted pests infesting your home. This causes the spiders and scorpions to dehydrate and die.[3]
- Simply sprinkle the diatomaceous earth around areas where you notice the pests – under furniture, in the cellar, and around windowsills.
- Make sure you purchase the food-grade diatomaceous earth to ensure that it is safe for use in your home.
EditWiping Down Surfaces - Wipe down surfaces. Place a few drops of eco-friendly dish soap on a paper towel or sponge and wipe down some of the surfaces in your home. Pay special attention to difficult to reach places like the tops of cabinets, ceiling fans, and the backs of mantles or shelves.[4]
- Alternatively, you can use a few drops of vinegar or essential oils to wipe down the surfaces in your home to repel spiders and scorpions.
- Invest in some eco-friendly dish soap. Dish soap has long been used in the fight against scorpion and spider home invasions. Keeping your counters wiped down with eco-friendly dish soap will go a long way in protecting your home from spider and scorpion invaders.[5]
- While regular dish soap may include some unsavory chemicals that you don't want to go smearing all over your house, most eco-friendly versions are readily available and contain more natural ingredients.
- When choosing eco-friendly dish soaps, make sure you steer clear of harsh, potentially toxic preservatives. Instead check the label for paraben-free preservatives like methylisothiazolinone, benzisothiazolinone, or phenoxyethanol.
- Clean with vinegar. The strong smell of vinegar works very effectively at repelling scorpions and spiders. The acidic makeup of the vinegar makes these pests want to avoid coming anywhere near it. Pour a few drops of vinegar on a paper towel or sponge and wipe down your counters and other surfaces in your home.[6]
- You should use white vinegar, apple cider vinegar, or malt vinegar for best results.
- Focus on barriers to the outdoors. When using the spray or wipe down method, be sure to focus on any regions that could provide access to your home from the outdoors. Spray or wipe down baseboards, windowsills, and the casings of all doors that lead outside.[7]
- These areas are the places where spiders and scorpions enter your home. So if you make them unappealing to the pests, they may retreat and stay away from your house.
EditEliminating Factors that Contribute to Infestation - Dust your home regularly. Scorpions and spiders thrive in dusty corners and unused spaces that accumulate dirt. One of the easiest ways to keep your home free of these invaders is to dust the surfaces of your home regularly. Try to thoroughly dust your home once every week or so, with extra in-depth dusting once per month.[8]
- You can use one of those long-handled feather dusters for the hard-to-reach areas of your home.
- Make sure to get the tops of cabinets, ceiling fan blades, baseboards, and remove any cobwebs that might have appeared around the ceiling and air vents.
- Vacuum. Use your vacuum once every week or so to vacuum your entire house. This will help eliminate the creation of dirty floor areas for spiders and scorpions to hide in. Vacuum the floors thoroughly, making sure to cover the entire space – even the corners of rooms and on the stairs.[9]
- If you don't have carpet, you can consider sweeping or mopping to clean the floors instead.
- Remember to move furniture so that you can vacuum under it. Spiders and scorpions love the dusty areas under couches and coffee tables.
- Organize your storage spaces. Spiders and scorpions love to hide in undisturbed, out-of-the-way parts of your home. Some of the most common places to find these little pests are in spaces that you use for storage – like the top shelf of your bathroom cabinet, the bottom of your closet, or that drawer in the kitchen you use for all of your miscellaneous junk. Try organizing these spaces so that there is less clutter, giving spiders and scorpions fewer hidey holes to get comfy in.[10]
- Use plastic storage bins with sealable lids to store and organize various items in your closet.
- Throw away things you don't use – such as old bottles of perfume and lotion in the bathroom, old makeup supplies, or old kitchen utensils – to minimize the clutter and create more usable, open space.
- Seal cracks. In order to keep spiders and scorpions out of your home, you'll need to minimize their access to the interior of your house. This means sealing up any exposed cracks that could offer them entry to your home. Use caulk and a caulk gun to fill in any cracks you see in your walls – inside or outside.[11]
- You can purchase caulk at any home improvement store.
- Make sure you get the caulking material fully inside the entire crack.
- Let it dry completely before touching it. This usually takes about 24 hours.
- Use cedar chips. Scorpions are naturally repelled by the scent of cedar oil. So a great way to keep them out of your yard and away from your home is by spreading cedar chips around your yard.[12]
- You should be able to purchase cedar chips at any home improvement or garden store.
- Simply sprinkle the cedar chips around your yard – in flowerbeds, around the base of your house, along sidewalks, around the perimeter of your fence, etc.
- Remove debris from around your home. Another major thing that attracts spiders and scorpions is a messy yard with lots of places to hide. Once the pests are in your yard, it won't be long before they start infiltrating your home. Maintaining your outdoor space will help prevent spiders and scorpions from getting inside your house.[13]
- Rake up leaves quickly, remove tall grasses and weeds, and keep necessary outdoor storage (sheds, stacks of firewood, etc.) as far from your actual house as possible.
EditThings You'll Need - Spray bottle
- Sponge
- Essential oils
- Vinegar
- Eco-friendly dish soap
- Diatomaceous earth
- Cedar chips
- Caulk
EditRelated wikiHows EditSources and Citations
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| How to Support an Autistic Person Posted: 25 Apr 2017 01:00 AM PDT There are plenty of ways you can help an autistic loved one, including ways to help them manage stress and communicate effectively. If the autistic person is a family member, you can also help create a comfortable home environment. EditCreating a Friendly Environment - Create sanctuaries where the autistic person can feel relaxed. It is easy for autistic people to become stressed or overwhelmed, so creating quiet places can help them stay calm.
- When they are looking for a place to sit, suggest one with minimal distractions (e.g. facing away from a noisy kitchen)
- Move conversations to quiet places
- Designate an area where the autistic person can retreat during stress, and fill it with calming things
- Make a schedule. Autistic people may have a hard time with unexpected changes in day-to-day life. Routines can support their sense of stability. When changes are made to those routines, the whole day can be completely thrown off, leading to confusion, fear, anger, or a meltdown. Here are some tips to keep things stable:[1]
- Help them create a schedule. Time slots can be used to designate what activities will happen during each part of the day.
- Maintain a visual calendar. Place it in a prominent and accessible location, such as a wall in the family room.
- Illustrations (clip art or drawings) can make the calendar look more friendly and appealing
- Give your loved one plenty of warning so that they can adjust to any schedule changes. To prepare your loved one for this change, you should try to plan the event with them so they know it is coming[2]
- For example, a dentist's appointment may change your loved one's schedule. Put this event on your loved one's calendar and discuss it with them ahead of time. While they might not be happy about her schedule being changed, they will at least be prepared.
- Try to place activities at specific time slots. For example, if they have math meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 3:00, plan something else at 3:00 (e.g. a family hike) so that they will always have some sort of activity at the time.
- Schedule downtime after stressful or taxing events. After a busy day at school, a social event, an appointment, or an outing, an autistic person is likely to feel tired. Time spent doing quiet activities (reading, playing, special interests) will help them recharge and stay balanced.
- Remember that your idea of relaxation may not match their idea of relaxation.
- During a schedule change, try to schedule something positive after the stressful change. For example, after a doctor appointment, let your son have free time until supper.
- Determine which stimuli cause discomfort. Autistic people often struggle with Sensory Processing Disorder, a neurological disorder in which sensory input that feels normal to other people may feel distracting, intensely uncomfortable, or even painful to the individual. Understand that these sensitivities cannot be ignored or willed away, and cause real distress.
- Communicate with your loved one about the stimuli. Notice what causes discomfort, or ask. They may potentially be able to express discomfort, or give you clues. Pinpoint what the issues are, and try to find ways around them.
- For example, if your teenage sister cannot handle the sharp taste of toothpaste, try helping her pick out a milder flavor (e.g. children's bubble gum) toothpaste at the store.
- Make sure that any therapies are safe and not coercive. Some autism therapies, particularly behavior modification like ABA, can lead to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder if they are done wrong.[3] Some therapies are designed to break the patient's will, or force them to act "normal."[4] This can be very emotionally damaging.
- Avoid experimental or compliance-based therapy.
- The autistic person should be able to say "no" and take breaks.
- Therapy should not involve crying, screaming, violence, or pleading for help.
- If you suspect that a therapy is overwhelming, frightening, or painful, stop it.[5] If you are not an adult, tell an adult, or report it to the authorities.
- Incorporate exercise into their daily lives. Exercise can provide an outlet for excess energy (if they constantly need to stim), can introduce them to sensory stimuli in a safe and controllable way, and can improve their mood and sense of security. Find an activity they like, and stick with it.
- Autistic people may do better in individual sports, or in non-competitive environments. Even taking regular walks can be good for your loved one.
- Encourage special interests. Special interests can offer a refuge to autistic people, develop important skills (for example, a young writer will learn to take critique), and possibly lead to a satisfying hobby or career. It also encourages the autistic person to be themselves.
- Choose toys related to the interest
- Discuss their interest for a comfortable time period, e.g. during a car ride (You can also model reciprocal conversation by asking questions)
- Help them learn more via library books
- Suggest that they join clubs and activities related to the interest, since socializing may be less threatening if they like the conversation topic
EditHandling Meltdowns - Learn to see patterns in meltdowns. Knowing your loved one's triggers can help you identify a potentially overwhelming situation, and defuse it before stress reaches the boiling point. Consider keeping a record of meltdown triggers to help future prevention.
- For example, going to a restaurant can be very chaotic for a child. Sometimes removing her from the environment for a few minutes is enough to help them stay relaxed.
- Know the warning signs of a meltdown. Meltdowns are the result of stress buildup in autistic people, and the best treatment is prevention. Here are ways to notice when a meltdown may be coming:[6]
- Frustration
- Having too many verbal instructions given to them at one time.
- Witnessing injustice
- Painful/overwhelming stimuli
- Changes in routine
- Not being able to understand or communicate effectively
- Intervene quickly on behalf of the autistic person. Your loved one may not realize how badly stress is building up, or may be unable to communicate it. Remove any stressors, and ask what is bothering them.
- Take them outside for a break.
- Get them away from crowds or other stressors.
- Avoid placing demands on them. If other people are doing so, ask them to give the autistic person a break.
- Immediately make the requested accommodations. Autistic people are used to being told that their needs are over-the-top or burdensome, so if they ask for something to change, it's probably causing them real pain or distress.
- Don't hold their needs hostage. Even if they don't use their words or say please properly, assume that it is urgent. You can coach them on proper delivery when they aren't on the verge of tears.
- Take them somewhere calmer. Try bringing them outdoors, or leading them to their calming down corner. This will give them a chance to relax where they aren't surrounded by people and stimuli.
- Be calm, patient, and understanding. Never shout at or blame them for a meltdown. They often feel deeply ashamed and embarrassed about losing control, and making them feel worse will only make it more difficult to calm down.[7]
- Avoid crowds or staring people. Ask them to stop it, or get the autistic person somewhere less public.
- Encourage safe stimming. Stimming (aka self-stimulatory behavior) is a way to stimulate the senses, and it can be extremely calming for autistic people. Examples include rocking, hand flapping, jumping, and fidgeting. Here are some ways to encourage the autistic person to stim:
- Offer a rocking chair (if available)
- Bring their favorite stim toys and/or a weighted blanket.
- Ask about a stim that they like to use for self-calming (e.g. "Do you want to flap your arms?")
- Offer a bear hug
- Do not judge them for looking unusual, and if anyone else objects to the autistic person's self-calming efforts, use your words or a sharp stare to let them know that this is unacceptable
- Once your loved one is calm again, touch base, and find out what triggered the meltdown. Encourage an honest, constructive conversation. Focus on the triggers, and what they (and you!) could do to avoid similar situations in the future.
- If a crowded store sends your daughter into tears, try planning the trip when the store will be less crowded, bringing earplugs and stim toys, or letting her stay at home.
- If news of a violent attack triggered a meltdown in your brother, suggest to your parents that they not leave the news on at night, and help him with relaxation exercises.
EditCommunicating Effectively - Recognize that communication may be challenging. Autistic body language can be different from non-autistic body language, and autistic people may not always realize what an expression or gesture means.[8]
- Don't expect eye contact. Autistic people often pay attention better when they don't have to look at people's eyes.
- Expect fidgeting and unusual movements.
- Learn your loved one's baseline, and what their unique body language means.
- Don't stress over tone and body language. Due to this confusion about body language, an autistic person will more than likely not produce body language that matches the way she is feeling. This is also the case with tone. Because of this, it is important to remind yourself not to read into or be offended by any rude tone or body language that is directed at you.[9]
- For example, your loved one's tone may seem short and rude, yet they may be in a fantastic mood.
- Watching their stims may offer cues. For example, if a boy only flaps his hands when he is happy, then this is probably a reliable sign that nothing is actually wrong.
- Even if they are upset, it may not be your fault. For example, a barking dog may have been putting them on edge all day.
- Realize that auditory processing can be an issue. This means that while the autistic person is fully capable of understanding language, it may be hard for their brain to translate spoken words to their meanings as quickly as you can. Gauge their reaction to verbal instructions or long lists.[10] They may need written instructions, or she may just require more processing time before responding.
- They may be unable to remember spoken lists, and need written and/or illustrated lists as well.
- Give them time to think and process. They may be slower to respond.
- They may be better at reading and writing than at handling spoken conversation.
- Try to create a calm space to communicate in. Your loved one may have a hard time communicating in busy places where there is a lot of noise. In places where multiple people are talking, your loved one may become stressed and overwhelmed. Instead, communicate with them in calm environments where little is going on.
- If a room is crowded, move elsewhere.
- Try using AAC if you cannot move (e.g. sign language, picture charts, or typing).
- Consider focus training to improve social skills. Focus training is a training course the can help your loved one to develop strategies for interactions with other people. This type of training teaches individuals how to understand thoughts and feelings. Focus training is generally done in a group setting, though it can also be done in an individual session. During the therapy, your loved one will hopefully develop strategies for emotional regulation, conversational skills, problem solving, and friendship skills.[11]
- Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) is a popular form.
- Not all social skills groups teach useful skills. For example, if your gay teen's social skills group focuses on heteronormativity, this is not helpful.
EditTeaching Important Skills - Teach calming techniques. According to the "Intense World" theory of autism, the world can quickly become frightening or overwhelming to autistic people, and they may need extra support in learning to handle it.[12] These exercises may include:
- Practicing deep breathing
- Counting to feel calm
- Holding a favorite toy or item until she feels better
- Certain stims
- Yoga, meditation, or stretching
- Taking a break with music or singing
- Teach your loved one to prevent meltdowns by asking for help. Phrases such as "I need a break, please" or "May I go to my corner?" can be particularly useful. Avoiding meltdowns becomes easier once your loved one can identify their own triggers and ask for help in taking action.
- Reinforce this behavior by immediately honoring the request.
- If they are just learning how to do this, thank them for speaking up. "Thank you for letting me know that the loud noise hurt your ears! Now I can help you find earplugs, and you can wait outside with your brother while I check out."
- Teach children about emotions using flash cards, books, and movies. Fictional examples can help autistic people understand how others feel, and why they feel that way. It allows autistic people to analyze emotion from a safer distance.
- If the child does not understand basic expressions, try teaching them with flash cards.[13]
- Ask "How do you think this character is feeling right now?" during books or movies. Offer suggestions if the person isn't sure.
- Also try social skills: "Do you think it was a good idea for her to do that? No? What would be a good idea?"
- Look for shows that are a mix of fun and education, such as My Little Pony.
- Set realistic social goals. Recognize that your loved one is never going to be the life of the party, and that is all right. Focus on what they want to do: perhaps they want to make two close friends, or have someone to play with at recess. Tailor social skills to their desires, not just your own.
- Teach a child about talking about special interest. Autistic children may be incredibly passionate about their interests, and thus may not always notice when they are monopolizing the conversation, or realize that their partner wants to change the subject. Teach your child how to:
- Ask questions to engage others ("How was work today, Mommy?")
- Tell whether someone is busy
- Gauge whether someone is interested
- Let the conversation shift organically
- Listen
- Know when monologuing is a good idea (e.g. when someone wants to learn about their subject of interest)
- Model good social skills. Remember, the autistic person is constantly learning and growing, and you are one of their role models. Behave in the way that you want them to behave, and they will take after you.
- Genuinely listen to the autistic person, and ask questions.
- When frustrated or exhausted, act the way you would like the autistic person to act. Take a break if need be. (It's okay!)
- Demonstrate compassion. Never do something to an autistic person that you wouldn't do to a non-autistic person.
- Treat their feelings as meaningful and valid.
- Offer praise readily. Autistic people are at higher risk for anxiety and depression, which may mean lower self-esteem. Bolster their self-esteem by recognizing their good qualities, and praising their efforts to grow. Make it clear that you are proud of them.
- Praise can come in the form of kind words, hugs, time spent together, or extra free time.
- While praise is good, do not treat praise as an ultimate goal. If a person becomes dependent on praise, they may become a people-pleaser, and be unable to set boundaries.
- Teach self-advocacy skills. Autistic people need to learn how to stand up for themselves, assert their needs, and say "no" when they don't want something. This is especially important, since they are at a higher risk for being abused.[14]
- Allow them to refuse things. ("I don't want that sweater. It hurts!")
- Praise them for expressing their needs. ("Thank you for letting me know the music is too loud. I'll turn it down right away.")
- Give them choices and encourage thinking.
- Avoid compliance therapies, which can hinder their ability to say no.[15]
- When your loved one says "no," listen. What's wrong? If something is unavoidable, can you remove the part that makes it distasteful, or strike a bargain that they are happy with? Only ignore a "no" in important cases of health or safety.
- Teens and adults may gain skills through self-advocacy groups such as ASAN or the Autism Women's Network. (However, be careful about introducing them to such groups if they are sensitive, since the issues of hatred,[16] abusive therapy,[17][18] and torture[19] may disrupt their sleep.)
EditUnderstanding Autism Understanding autism is a difficult task, because autism is a complex disability and every autistic person is unique. - Recognize that autism is a deeply complex spectrum. Autism has a wide range of aspects that vary from person to person. Since autism is a developmental disability, communication and social skills tend to be a challenge. Specific symptoms vary.[20]
- Autism is not a linear spectrum from "mild" to "severe." It impacts many different areas in different ways. For example, maybe your friend is funny and great at cheering people up, and has serious difficulty with self-care and sensory processing. An autistic person can be strong in one area and weak in another.
- Consider your loved one's specific strengths and challenges. It is important to understand your loved one's symptoms. Once you understand where the challenges lie, you can target those areas. Find out what strengths your loved one has, and what challenges they face. All of these components are important when choosing treatment options and coping mechanisms.
- Be knowledgeable about autism. It is good to know the general signs, and what autistic people think about autism. (Autistic-run organizations and blogs are usually good sources.) Here are a few signs of autism:[21]
- Motor skills may be delayed
- Difficulty understanding and interacting with others
- Difficulty grasping abstract uses of language (e.g. sarcasm, metaphors)
- Special interests that are unusual in terms of focus and passion
- Over- or under-sensitivity to various stimuli (sounds, sights, smells, etc.)
- Difficulty with self care
- Repetitive behavior, notably stimming
- Understand that every autistic person's goals are different. One autistic person might want to focus on developing the self-care skills to live on her own, while another might want to make friends. Others might be perfectly fine with living in assisted living, or not making more friends. Recognize that your idea of the ideal lifestyle might differ from their idea, and it's most important that they are able to be happy.
- Accept them as they are. Autistic people are not embarrassing, broken, or deficient—simply different. Instead of saying "I'll finally be happy when my loved one _____," practice being happy now, and embarking on your journey together. Demonstrate unconditional love, so they can love themselves.
- Be aware that part of a person's schedule may involve certain self-care oddities, like wearing the same outfit every day of the week.
- There is significant debate surrounding whether "people-first" or "identity-first" language is preferable—in other words, whether autistic people prefer to be called "autistics" or "autistic individuals" or "individuals with autism" or "individuals who have autism." This article uses identity-first language ("autistic people"), because it is preferred widely in the autistic community.[22] Ask your loved one what language they prefer, and respect that preference.
- If you are autistic as well, let them know if you have a particular behaviour or issue in common with them (but don't assume you do).
- If you are autistic too, let them know you are on the spectrum if you think it makes a difference to your relationship with them.
- Remember that autistic people come in all shapes and sizes and from all levels of society. Don't rely upon stereotypes about an autistic person's social or ethnic background.
- Don't be patronising in the way you relate to autistic people. If you aren't genuinely nice, they will be able to tell.
- Don't make assumptions about an autistic person's life, like whether or not they have a partner or how they spend their free time.
- Remember that non-verbal autistic people are not stupid and that people with disabilities and/or differences deserve to be respected as human beings regardless of their intellect.
- Don't distract an autistic person from their hobbies or jobs if they are intensely focused on them unless you think that they will benefit from hearing from you. What looks like someone glued to a screen to you may feel more like distracting someone from meditating, driving, or performing surgery to them, or like trying to talk to someone in the crucial scene in a movie.
- Don't use movies or scenes from movies to identify social situations if they're exaggerated, inaccurate, or offer false hope. What seems romantic in a movie may seem creepy in real life, stunts in films are usually a lot more dangerous in real life, and even the best situations in real life offer complications that make them less than the perfection people see in a Hollywood or Disney film.
- Don't assume an autistic person has or hasn't heard you if they don't offer a response. Find a way to check.
- Be kind. No matter how rude or unkind they are being, autistic people need your support. Don't yell or hate; set a good example. Be sweet and loving.
- Make your role and experience clear to the autistic person in question, so that you and the person you are with don't miscommunicate with each other.
- Never stop an autistic person from stimming[23][24] or force them to make eye contact.[25] This robs them of coping skills and impedes their focus.[26]
- Be careful when selecting therapists. Some therapists use compliance therapy, which can hurt children[27] or even give them PTSD.[28]
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