| How to Help Your Support System Support You Posted: 23 Apr 2017 05:00 PM PDT Having a good social support system is an important part of staying emotionally healthy. People who have close relationships with their family and friends are happier, less stressed, and even healthier than people who don't. But even if you have great relationships, it's hard for your loved ones to help you through tough times if they don't know what you need. You can help your support system support you by building strong relationships with your family and friends, communicating clearly about your needs, and returning the favor when others in your life need help themselves. EditLetting People Know What You Need - Admit that you need help. Sometimes, one of the hardest things to do is actually recognize when you are in over your head or when you could use a helping hand. You may have been trying to take on the role of superhero, doing everything for everyone. However, such a mentality can lead to burnout or resentment in the end.
- Be willing to admit when you're having a hard time, and give your loved ones the chance to support you. Take a look at your day-to-day life. In what areas are you struggling? Now, think about the people you can trust to offer you non-judgmental assistance. These may be friends, family members, neighbors, or people who go to the same church as you do. Make a list of all the people you trust and put it on your fridge so that it is easy to find when you need it.
- In this step, you don't have to take any action. All you need to do is become aware of some of the things you're having trouble with and identify some people who might be willing to help.[1]
- Identify the areas where you need the most help. Think about what you struggle to do on your own. Be honest with yourself about the areas of your life where you need the most practical or emotional support.[2]
- For instance, if you have just gone through a breakup, you might need someone to keep you company and lend a sympathetic ear.
- Or, maybe you have been caring for a sick loved one for a while and could use some help running errands and cleaning.
- Another possibility is that you have experienced a loss, such as the death of a loved one, friend, or pet. Perhaps you could benefit from someone making meals for you during this time.
- Communicate with your support system about what you need. Be polite but straightforward when you ask for help. Don't feel bad about making the request. We are biologically, emotionally, and cognitively designed to be social beings. It is normal to need help sometimes. Remember that these people care about you, and they'll probably be happy to support you.[3]
- For instance, if you're dealing with depression, you could say to a friend, "I feel better when I leave the house, but it's hard to get motivated to do that by myself. Will you start going for walks with me in the evenings?"
- Share your crisis plan with your support system. If you have a written plan for what to do in the event of a physical or mental crisis, make sure everyone in your support system has a copy. Include details like your doctor or therapist's contact information, any medications you need to take, and anything you will need help with while incapacitated.[4]
- For instance, your crisis plan should include information about how to take care of any pets you have.
- Accept help with gratitude. When someone reaches out to help you, let them. People usually enjoy being able to do something for a friend or family member. Avoid feeling guilty or awkward, and let the person know how much you appreciate their gesture.[5]
- If you're used to being the person who does everything for other people, it may take some time to feel comfortable accepting help. Think about how you feel when you help others, and realize that's how the people in your support network feel, too.
EditKeeping Your Support System Strong - Identify the people in your support network. Think about your family members, friends, coworkers, and other people in your life, such as therapists. Ask yourself who you trust and rely on the most. These people make up the core of your support network.[6]
- Consider people who have helped you out in the past, who always give you good advice, and who you want to call right away when something important happens in your life.
- Reach out to the people in your support network. Keep your relationships strong by taking the initiative to stay in touch. Ask a friend you haven't seen in a while to watch a movie with you, or send a funny card to a family member who lives far away. When you show people that you care enough to maintain a connection, they'll be likely to do the same for you.[7]
- Avoid assuming that people will contact you if they want to spend time together. They may be thinking the same thing about you.
- Meet new people. Grow your support system by getting involved in your community. You can make likeminded friends by joining clubs related to your interests, participating in a support group for an issue you've experienced, or doing volunteer work for a good cause.[8]
- Keep in mind that it's best not to ask too much of new friends while the relationship is still developing. Avoid bringing up heavy or personal topics until you know the person better.
- Avoid leaning too heavily on just one or two people. Your friends and family members will get worn out if you ask too much of them. If you need more help than one or two people can reasonably give, spread your requests out among numerous people in your support system.[9]
- For instance, if you have a broken leg that prevents you from doing chores and running errands, don't ask one friend to cover everything for you. Instead, ask a couple of friends to give you a hand around the house, and see if your family member, neighbor, or friend will run errands for you.
EditReturning the Favor - Ask your friends and family how you can help them in return. Let your support system know that you'll be there for them when they need you. Ask what they need the most help with in their lives, and follow through if they make a request.[10]
- Sometimes people avoid asking for help simply because they don't want to inconvenience others. If your loved ones say they don't need anything, check in with them every once in a while, so they know your offer of support is genuine.
- Pay attention to people around you who are struggling. Spend time with the people in your support system regularly, and be sensitive to what your friends and family are going through. If you think a loved one could use a hug or some help around the house, don't wait for them to ask – reach out and offer your support.[11]
- For instance, if your friend has been acting sad lately, you could take them out for coffee and ask if everything is okay.
- Communicate your boundaries and inspire others to do the same. To keep your relationships healthy, talk with your friends and family about what kind of help you and they are comfortable giving and receiving. Establishing your expectations and needs will prevent misunderstandings later and help everyone feel respected.[12]
- For example, you might refuse to borrow money from family members because you don't want to complicate your relationships. You might tell a loved one who offers, "I have a rule about not accepting money from family. I really appreciate the gesture, but I can't accept this."
- By communicating and standing firm in your own boundaries, you give your loved ones a model for which they can build their own.
EditSources and Citations
Cite error: <ref> tags exist, but no <references/> tag was found
|
| How to Prevent Arm Pain While Driving a Car Posted: 23 Apr 2017 09:00 AM PDT Lots of time behind the wheel can result in arm pain. Whether your job requires frequent driving or you're traveling cross-country by car, you can take steps to prevent pain and discomfort. Stretch your hands, arms, and back before getting into the car. Hold the steering wheel with a loose grip, and change your grip frequently. Maintain good posture with your arms slightly bent, and rest your arms when possible. Adjust the seat and steering wheel for a comfortable fit, and use a seatbelt cushion if the strap constricts your shoulder. Consult your doctor if pain persists despite adopting ergonomic driving habits. EditReducing Strain on Your Arms - Stretch before driving and during breaks. Stretching your muscles before driving will improve circulation and flexibility. You should stretch your back as well as your arms, since back strain and misalignment can cause arm pain.[1]
- Stretch your hands by extending your fingers and holding them outstretched for 10 seconds. Relax them, then bend your fingers at the knuckles, hold for 10 seconds, and repeat the sequence.[2]
- Hold your hands palm to palm in front of you in a praying pose. Keeping your palms together and elbows up, more your hands downward and hold for 10 seconds. Return to the praying position and, with your palms still together, point your fingers to the left and right.[3]
- Inhale and extend your arms up and around you as far as possible to trace an imaginary circle around yourself. Exhale and trace the imaginary circle downward to bring your arms back to your sides.
- While standing, bend over to reach for your toes to stretch your lower back. Count to 10 as you hold the stretch. Bend your knees slightly if necessary.
- Grip the steering wheel loosely and with your arms relaxed. Use a loose grip on the steering wheel, and change your grip frequently. Move your fingers around to keep your hands and wrists from cramping. Your arms should be relaxed with your shoulders and upper arms by your sides and your elbows slightly bent.[4]
- Avoid locking your elbows or gripping the steering wheel with tense, fully extended arms.
- Relax an arm every 15 to 20 minutes during long drives. It's safest to keep both hands on the steering wheel at all times. However, if you're on a long drive and can safely do so, take 30 seconds to relax one arm. Hold it by your side completely relaxed, then rest the other arm for 30 seconds at the next safe opportunity.[5]
- A low-traffic area with minimal turns would be a good opportunity to rest an arm for at least 30 seconds. If your route has a lot of traffic and turns, you should keep both hands on the wheel.
- Avoid reaching awkwardly for things. Place mints, tissues, sunglasses, or any other items you anticipate needing within a foot of the driver's seat. Avoid reaching uncomfortably for the glove compartment or toward the passenger and back seats. Keeping items within easy reach will help prevent awkward reaching that can result in arm pain.[6]
- Pull over if you need something that's not easily accessible.
- Take a break every hour. If you're on a long drive, avoid forcing yourself to make the trip without taking breaks every hour or so. Give yourself at least an extra half hour so you'll have time to stop and get out of the car. During your breaks, stretch your arms, hands, and back, and walk around for a few minutes.[7]
EditMaking Your Car Ergonomic - Adjust the seat and steering wheel. Position the steering wheel 10 to 12 inches (25 to 30 cm) from your breastbone. Adjust your seat so your back comes in complete contact with the seat and headrest. Your seat should be reclined about 100 to 110 degrees.[8]
- Consult your vehicle's manual for help adjusting your seat and steering wheel.
- Use a seat belt shoulder strap cushion. Seatbelts can irritate or constrict your shoulder, causing discomfort. Look for a shoulder cushion online or at your auto store. You can also cut a piece of soft pipe or foam insulation to appropriate size and attach it to the seat belt.[9]
- Check the power steering fluid. Low power steering fluid can make it more difficult to steer your car, which can aggravate hand, wrist, and arm pain. Check, add, or flush your power steering fluid, or bring your car to a mechanic for maintenance.[10]
- If you suffer significant arm pain and your car doesn't have power steering, consider getting one that does.
- Use a car with an automatic transmission. An automatic transmission reduces the type and number of motions necessary to drive a car. Reducing the frequency and variety of grips and movements will help prevent your arms from getting sore.[11]
- If you drive a car with a manual transmission, consider getting an automatic.
EditConsulting Professionals - Consult a driving rehabilitation specialist. A driving rehabilitation specialist can observe you driving and help you find ways to develop more ergonomic habits. If your profession involves driving, talk to your employer or union representative. Contact your local jurisdiction's department of driver services for more information about driver rehabilitation.[12]
- You can also find resources on the Association for Driver Rehabilitation Specialists website.[13]
- Make an appointment with your primary doctor. Ask your primary care doctor to examine the affected area. They can offer pain management tips, a prescription medication, or refer you to a specialist.[14]
- Check with your insurer to make sure any medication or specialist care is covered and in-network to avoid unexpected medical bills.
- Ask about musculoskeletal disorders. Ask your doctor or specialist if your arm pain indicates any potential muscle, bone, or joint issues. Frequent driving or improper driving habits can result in issues like carpal tunnel syndrome, rotator cuff injuries, repetitive strain injury, or bursitis.[15]
- Driving can also cause and aggravate arthritis, especially in older adults.
- Describe the motions that cause pain, the affected areas, and whether the pain is dull or sharp. Ask your doctor or specialist, "Are my symptoms signs of any chronic disorders? Will medication or physical therapy be effective treatment options?"
- Discuss your treatment options. If your pain continues despite adopting ergonomic driving habits, your doctor can recommend a variety of treatments. Common options include anti-inflammatory or anti-pain medication and physical therapy.[16]
- Depending on the severity of your case, your doctor may also recommend other treatments, such as cortisone injections, steroid injections, or surgery.[17]
EditSources and Citations
Cite error: <ref> tags exist, but no <references/> tag was found
|
| How to Read More Posted: 23 Apr 2017 01:00 AM PDT There is so much to read, and so little time! Many people struggle to find time to read amid the demands of work, school, and child-rearing. The constant information-barrage of modern life may make settling into a book seem like a daunting task. However, there are simple steps that you can take to read more: find material that fascinates you; find a quiet, secluded space; set aside "reading time", turn off your phone, and be fully present. EditMotivating Yourself to Read - Find reading material that fascinates you. The best way to read more is to make yourself excited to read, and the best way to get excited about reading is to get excited about ideas.
- Explore. Turn over every book that you see and read the back cover. Open it up and read the first few lines. Find something that piques your interest and pursue it.
- If you are genuinely intrigued by the subject matter--if you let yourself get hooked--you may hardly be able to stop yourself from turning pages. Reading is an edifying habit, but it can also be deeply joyful and wildly exciting.
- Consider the sort of information that you want to absorb. You are reading in order to fill your brain with ideas and information: so what do you want to think about?
 - Consider reading nonfiction books: history, politics, science, economics. This is a great way to get yourself thinking more deeply about the systems and patterns that are woven through the world around you. Read widely and variably, or pick a subject matter and delve deeply into it.
- Consider reading classic literature: anything from Shakespeare to Hemingway to Kerouac. Books that are labeled "literature" tend to illuminate the human condition. Read about triumphs and tragedies, joys and sorrows, exquisite details and broad truths, and you may gain insight into your own situation.
- Consider reading the news: you can subscribe to a local newspaper or read about current events online. News articles vary from the conveniently brief to the deliciously in-depth, and they can provide fantastic fodder for meaningful conversation. Stay up to date with current events and plug in to the world.
- Consider reading "genre" stories: fantasy, science fiction, romance, vampires. Pulp fiction is a great way to inflame the imagination with an air of excitement and mystery--or perhaps simply escape the mundane realities of everyday life.
- Read poetry; philosophy; magazines; fan-fiction; wikiHow articles; anything that excites your imagination and beckons you deeper.
- Ask friends and family for recommendations. Ask people about books that they have found particularly insightful or well-written.
- You may find that certain books and articles come up naturally in conversation--don't be afraid to ask questions. If a book comes up in conversation, there is a good chance that you'll find it interesting.
- Don't be afraid to borrow books. Your social network is the largest and most relevant lending library. If you see a book on someone's shelf, strike up a conversation about it and express your interest. If the conversation goes well, ask to borrow it.
- Choose a book from an online list like "The Greatest Books of the 20th Century" or "Classic Books That Everyone Should Read". These types of lists are necessarily subjective, but they will generally suggest well-written books with broad appeal. Pick something that piques your interest.
- Browse a library or a bookstore. The next time you have a free hour, duck into a local bookstore or public library. Wander the shelves, peruse books that catch your eye, and commit to bringing home one book that you will finish.
- Don't be afraid to get lost. If you find a book that particularly interests you, take it off the shelf and begin to flip through it. Libraries and bookstores provide a safe space to explore and expand your reading tastes.
- In the U.S., you can usually sign up for a library card for free. You do not need a library card to browse most libraries, but you do need a card to take a book out. Find a librarian at the check-out desk--usually in a central location--and ask to sign up for a library card.
- Consider joining a book club. Even though your participation is voluntary, a book club may give you the structure that you need to develop a disciplined reading habit.
- Social obligation is a great way to make yourself read more, and you may interact more deeply with a book if you're able to talk it over with a group of friends.
- Look into joining an online book club. This is a no-cost, low-obligation means of sharing your thoughts about what you read. You can read as much or as little as you like, although you may find that you must read a certain amount to keep up with the pace of the group.
- If you can't find an existing book club, start your own. Speak with friends or family members who read a lot. If you like to read the same sorts of things--science fiction, for instance, or philosophy--then suggest that you read the same book and discuss it.
- Bear in mind that while a book club may lend social structure to your reading habit, you may wind up reading a book that doesn't absolutely fascinate you if the group decides upon it. On the other hand, you may gain new perspectives from engaging with books that you wouldn't otherwise read.
- Make a list. Write down the titles of five or ten books that you really want to read. Tack the list up onto your wall and cross the titles off as you read them.
- Commit to yourself that you will finish the list by a certain date. Even if you don't meet the deadline, this will certainly get you started.
- If you give yourself an "assignment"--finish these books by this date--you may be more likely to get it done. Promise yourself something for each finished book: treat yourself to a nice meal, splurge on something you've wanted to buy, or just buy a new book. This can give you an incentive to read, even if it's just for yourself.
- Consider using a reading-log app like ReadMore (http://readmoreapp.com/) for a digital record that you can carry with you.
EditMaking Time to Read - Set aside time to read. Nothing else. Just read. Create reading triggers: tie your reading habit to specific routines that run throughout your day.[1]
- Read on the train to work; read during meals; read in the bathroom; read before bed. Read whenever you have ten minutes to spare, and you will begin to form a habit.
- Read a certain amount of pages to start the day--say, 10-20 pages each morning.[2] Pick up your book as you wake, or flip pages as you sip your morning coffee. Let reading be the first thing you do each day, before the distractions and complications of life begin to buzz about your brain.
- Read before bed. You may not want to process heavy or complex information before bed, but you can relax your mind with stories before you go to sleep each night. This is a great way to get into the habit.
- Try to read for at least half an hour at a time. Let yourself be drawn into the pages to the point that you aren't thinking about anything else. If you have somewhere to be, set an alarm--but avoid checking your phone.[3] The goal is to achieve a flow state.
- Be present. Be here, now, and focus only on the words that fill the page.
- Sit somewhere comfortable and lose yourself what you're reading. Block out all thoughts of past and future, and try not to think about work. There will be time for everything, and you will do everything that you need to do--but right now, you are reading.
- Silence your phone, and consider turning it off. If you need to be somewhere, consider setting a timer so that you don't feel the need to check your phone.
- Before you read, take care of any obligations that may distract you. Feed the animals, reply to your emails, take out the trash, and put everything in order. Order your surroundings so that you can order your mind.
- Read in a peaceful space. Read away from people, traffic, distractions and loud noises, and you may find it easier to become absorbed in your book.
- Read in a park, in a library, or in a quiet room. Read at home or read in a coffee shop. Choose a place that allows you to forget about the outside world.
- Turn off the television and close your Internet browser. Screen yourself away from extraneous information to deepen your immersion into the book you're reading.
- If you can't find a quiet space, wear headphones to block out surrounding noises. Play soothing music at a low volume. Consider using a noise-generating website like Rainymood (http://www.rainymood.com/) or Simply Noise (http://simplynoise.com/).
- Make a habit of reading. The more you read, the easier it will become.
- Commit to reading every day for a week, even if you only read for 20 minutes each day. Once you've read every day for a week, commit to reading every day for a month. Gradually increase the amount that you read in each sitting.
- Start small; don't intimidate yourself with something too weighty from the offset, or you may procrastinate. Start reading something that you know you will finish, and then finish it. Build confidence and work your way up, slowly, to heavier texts.
- Consider breaking your reading into natural increments: say, commit to finishing a chapter each time you sit down to read, or read until the next natural stopping place. If you're reading an adventure story, for instance wait to lay down your book until the characters go to sleep for the night. Immerse yourself in the story.
- Consider reading e-books. You can read e-books on a Kindle device, or you can download the texts directly onto your phone or computer.
- E-books are convenient if you don't want to carry a heavy book around. You can carry a vast and diverse library in the pocket of your jeans, read whenever you have a spare moment, and pick up exactly where you left off.
- Check out Project Gutenberg, which offers thousands of free e-books.[4]
- Consider using a speed-reading app. These apps speed the reading process by blocking out subvocalization--the act of saying words aloud in your head as you read them--and firing words into your brain at a rapid pace.
- The average human reads around 200 words per minute. Speed-reading apps allow you adjust your words-per-minute intake on a slider, from very slow (less than 100 words per minute) to blisteringly quick (as much as 1000 words per minute).[5]
- Many of these apps exist, and they are usually free to use or download. Try Spritz (http://www.spritzinc.com/) or Spreeder (http://www.spreeder.com/).
- Bear in mind that the more quickly you must process information, the less you will be able to retain. There is a reason that we naturally read at the speeds that we do. Speed-reading apps are great for burning through large swaths of information quickly, but they may not aid your reading comprehension.
EditRelated wikiHows EditSources and Citations
Cite error: <ref> tags exist, but no <references/> tag was found
|
No comments:
Post a Comment