| How to Keep People from Pushing Your Buttons Posted: 03 Aug 2019 05:00 PM PDT Whether it's your brother-in-law ranting about politics again or a coworker making a rude comment about your outfit, other people can really get under your skin from time to time. While you can't really control how others behave, you can choose how you react when they push your buttons. If someone says or does something to set you off, take a moment to breathe and try to get a handle on your feelings. Once you've calmed down, try setting some boundaries with the person. It can also help in the long run to identify your buttons and reflect on where your feelings are coming from. [Edit]Managing Your Reactions in the Moment - Take a few deep breaths when you start to get upset. If someone has just said or done something inconsiderate and you feel like you're about to blow up, stop and take a few deep, slow breaths through your nose.[1] Breathing deeply into your belly can help calm you and get your anger under control.[2]
- You may find it helpful to silently count to 5 as you breathe in and again as you breathe out.
- Try a quick grounding exercise if you feel overwhelmed. When your emotions are out of control, grounding yourself can help bring your focus back to the present moment. To ground yourself, simply choose something in your environment to focus on, preferably with as many of your senses as possible.[3]
- For example, you might reach into your pocket and feel your keys in your hand. Move them a little so you can hear them jingle.
- You could also pay attention to the feeling of the floor beneath your feet, listen to the sounds around you, or look at an interesting object in front of you.
- Step out of the room for a minute to help yourself calm down. Sometimes the best way to break the tension of an angry moment is to step away for a bit. If you feel like you're too upset to handle the situation appropriately, try leaving the room or even going for a brief walk.[4]
- You might say something like, "Excuse me, I just need a moment."
- Ask yourself why you feel the way you do. Before you react to the other person, stop and assess your feelings. Think about not only what you feel, but why you are feeling that way. Putting a name to what you're feeling and identifying the cause of your reaction can help you feel more in control of your emotions.[5]
- For example, instead of just thinking "Mom is so aggravating," you might think to yourself, "I'm feeling really frustrated because Mom keeps asking when Ted and I are going to get married, even though I've told her I'm not ready to even think about marriage."
- This way, instead of just feeling generally mad at your mom, you can now focus on what specifically is bothering you—that she is crossing your boundaries by bringing up a topic you've already said you don't want to discuss. Identifying the problem makes it easier to focus on solutions.
- Think about what to say before you respond. If someone's pushing your buttons, you may be tempted to lash out and say the first hurtful thing that pops into your head. Giving in to those urges will probably only escalate the situation and make you feel worse, however. Instead, stop and consider what you really want to say.[6]
- Ask yourself, "Is what I want to say true? Is it necessary or appropriate to say this? Does it clearly express what I really think and feel?"
[Edit]Setting Appropriate Boundaries - Let the other person know how their actions affect you. If someone has said or done something to upset you, it's possible that they aren't even aware of it. Explain to them, as clearly and specifically as you can, what you are upset about and how you are feeling.[7]
- For example, you might say, "Fred, I feel really uncomfortable when you make comments about my weight like that."
- Avoid using language that sounds accusatory or attacks the other person (e.g., "You're such a jerk!"). Instead, focus on their behavior and your own reactions to it (e.g., "It bothers me when you act like that.").
- Explain what behaviors you aren't willing to tolerate. When you're setting boundaries with others, it's important to be clear (with both other people and yourself) about what those boundaries are. Be specific and direct with the other person about what kind of behavior you expect from them.[8]
- For example, you might say, "My personal space is really important to me. Please don't touch me without asking first."
- Set clear consequences if they violate your boundaries. In addition to defining your boundaries, it's important to be clear about what will happen if the other person doesn't respect those boundaries. Define your consequences and be sure to follow through on them if you need to.[9]
- For instance, say something like, "If you continue to be late every time we get together, I won't be able to meet up with you anymore."
- Minimize contact with the person if it's a recurring problem. If someone continues to push your buttons and violate your boundaries, it may be a good idea to avoid spending time with them. This is especially true if it seems like they're intentionally trying to get under your skin. Minimize your time with the other person as much as possible, or cut off contact altogether if you have to.[10]
- If you have to be around the other person—e.g., if they're a co-worker or a close relative—try to have someone else with you as much as possible. Be civil to the person, but don't engage with them any more than you need to.
[Edit]Being Aware of Your Buttons - Make a list of things that set you off. If you feel like your buttons are easily pushed, take some time to think about what tends to upset you the most. Once you start identifying some triggers, it may be easier for you to prepare for the next time you encounter one of them.[11]
- For example, maybe you're especially bothered by comments about your physical appearance, or you get really annoyed when your significant other looks at their phone while you're talking to them.
- Try to identify the reasons why certain things upset you. Understanding why you are bothered by certain things can make it easier to control your reactions to those things. When you recognize that your feelings stem from somewhere inside you, you won't feel so much like you're at the mercy of the person pushing your buttons. Next time you feel like your buttons have been pushed, stop and think afterwards about where exactly those negative feelings are coming from.[12]
- For example, maybe you become really annoyed when your friend gets excited and talks over you. Thinking back, you might find that their interruptions remind you of how your big brother would never let you get a word in edgeways, so that you regularly felt unheard.
- Once you identify the root causes of your feelings, try to recognize in the moment that you may be reacting to more than just the situation at hand. This can help you respond more appropriately to what's actually happening.
- Familiarize yourself with how you feel when your buttons are pushed. Another way to feel more in control is to recognize the warning signs that you're about to blow your stack. Next time someone pushes your buttons, try to tune in to exactly what you're feeling. Once you learn to recognize those feelings, you can work on getting them under control before they get out of hand.[13]
- For example, you might notice that when you are getting really upset, you breathe rapidly and your shoulders get tense. Once you recognize those sensations, you can combat them by making a conscious effort to breathe deeply and relax your body.
- Practice meditation to help control stress. Meditating regularly can help you feel calmer overall, and can also help you become more self-aware. If you're having a lot of trouble controlling your reactions when people push your buttons, meditation may help.[14]
- Try doing a simple mindful meditation exercise. Sit someplace quiet and comfortable and simply focus on your breathing for a while. Then, turn your attention to how you're feeling, physically and emotionally. Don't judge or analyze your feelings—just notice them.
- You can also look for guided meditations online. Try to find one that specifically addresses coping with anger or frustration.
[Edit]References |
| How to Cut Memory Foam Posted: 03 Aug 2019 09:00 AM PDT Memory foam is a common material used for mattresses and pillows since it's comfortable and it conforms to your body. If you have a piece of memory foam that's too large, you can easily cut it at home with an electric carving knife. Be sure to double check your measurements before you make your cut so you don't make a mistake. When you're finished, you'll have a piece of memory foam that's the perfect size! [Edit]Measuring and Marking the Foam - Remove the slipcover if you're cutting a memory foam mattress. Many new memory foam mattresses have a slipcover on top for an additional layer of protection. Look for a zipper around the edge of the mattress and unzip it as far as you can. Once the zipper is undone, pull the edges of the slipcover off of the mattress and remove it. Since you're cutting mattress, you can either throw away the slipcover or use the material to make a new slipcover.[1]
- If there isn't a zipper around the edge of the slipcover, then you may need to cut it off with a knife or pair of scissors.
- Check the dimensions you need and add to them. Use a tape measure to double check the height, width, and depth for the foam you need for your project. For example, you may measure a mattress if you're cutting a memory foam topper, or you may find the dimensions of a pillowcase if you're making a pillow. Add to each measurement you take since cutting the foam could remove some of the material.[2]
- Mark the memory foam with a permanent marker and a tape measure. Hold the end of your tape measure at the edge of your piece of memory foam and pull it out until you reach the correct length. Draw a dot on the memory foam with a permanent marker at the end of your measurement. Move your tape measure along the edge of the mattress by and make another dot so it's in line with the first one. Continue marking the memory foam until you reach the other side. Repeat the process for any other dimensions you plan on cutting.[3]
- Double check your measurements to make sure they're accurate, or else you may make a crooked cut.
- Draw your cut lines on the foam with a marker. Set a straightedge on top of the memory foam so it crosses the marks you made for your measurements. Use a permanent marker to draw your lines between the measurements so you know where to make your cuts. Make the lines thin so your cuts and measurements are precise.[4]
- If you're drawing a curved line, use a round object as a stencil, such as a coffee can or a bowl.
[Edit]Making Your Cuts - Set the foam on a table so the side you're cutting hangs over the edge. Find a flat, sturdy table to set your memory foam on. Position the memory foam on the table so your cut lines overhang the edge of the table. That way, you won't damage the tabletop when you cut through the foam.[5]
- Set a heavy object on a piece of memory foam to help hold it in place if it tips over the edge. Make sure the object is at least from your cut line so the foam doesn't compress.
- Hold an electric carving knife perpendicular to the memory foam. Plug in your electric carving knife and hold it with your dominant hand. Position the knife so the blade is at a 90-degree angle to the edge you're cutting to make a smooth, straight cut. Make sure the serrated edge is touching the memory foam and lines up with the line you drew.[6]
- You can buy an electric carving knife from any kitchen supply store or online.
- An electric knife will give you the smoothest cut, but you can also use a serrated bread knife if you don't have an electric one.
- Guide the knife along the line you drew on the foam. Turn on your electric carving knife and slowly follow along the marker line. Keep your knife perpendicular to the foam so your cut isn't crooked. Avoid pushing down on the foam while you're cutting since it could deform and make your cut inaccurate. Continue pushing the blade through the foam along the line until you cut through its entire length. When you need to pull the knife blade out of the foam, turn it off before removing it.[7]
- Keep your fingers and the knife cord away from the blade while it's running so you don't hurt yourself.
- If you're using a serrated bread knife, saw back and forth to make your cuts.
- Cut along the line again if the blade didn't go through the foam. If you're cutting through a thick piece of memory foam, your knife blade may not cut through it completely. Put the carving knife blade at the end of the cut again and follow along the line again. Work slowly so your cut stays straight and accurate. Continue doing multiple passes over the cut until the blade goes completely through the foam. Repeat the process for any other dimensions you need to cut from the memory foam. [8]
- You can also flip the piece of foam over to the other side and take your measurements again. Cut through the memory foam so your 2 cuts meet in the middle.
- You can use a razor knife or serrated bread knife if you want, but it won't make as clean of a cut.[9]
[Edit]Warnings - Keep your fingers and the knife cord away from the blade while it's turned on.
[Edit]Things You'll Need - Tape measure
- Marker
- Straightedge
- Table
- Electric carving knife
[Edit]References |
| How to Dye a Lacrosse Head Posted: 03 Aug 2019 01:00 AM PDT Dyeing your lacrosse head is a great way to give your stick a personalized, distinctive look! Many players at every level play with dyed sticks. Not only can it bring new life to an old stick, it can draw lots of attention on the field and give your game a new attitude. There are multiple ways to approach dyeing a lacrosse head. If this is your first time, try dyeing the head 1 color. If you're ready to try something more advanced, add a marbling pattern or create stripes with pieces of duct tape. Or, use 2 colors of dye to create a 2-toned effect on the head. [Edit]Cleaning and Preparing the Head - Scrub a used lacrosse head with a sponge and dish soap. If you've already played a few games with the lacrosse head, it's likely covered in grass or dirt stains. You should clean these off before dyeing the head, or the dye job will turn out poorly. Fill your sink up with warm water and 1-2 squirts of dish soap. Scrub the head with a sponge until all of the grass marks and dirt stains have come off.[1]
- If you're using a clean, new lacrosse head, you won't need to wash it before dyeing.
- Select 1-2 colors of dye to color the lacrosse head. Pick up a couple colors that complement one another or that match your team's colors. For example, you could dye the head red and blue, black and yellow, or red and green.[2] You'll be able to find lacrosse head dye at most large athletic-supply stores. If they're sold out, you may be able to find the dye at a lacrosse specialty store if there's one in your area.
- If this is your first time dyeing a lacrosse head, stick with 1 color until you've gotten some dyeing experience.
- Remove the string from the lacrosse head. Untie the small knots that hold the string netting to the lacrosse head and set the string net aside. This will keep the string itself from being dyed when you color the head. Set the string aside for now.
- Some people may want to dye the pocket of their lacrosse head, in which case you can leave the string in! But, this approach is pretty uncommon.
- Place duct tape over parts of the head you want to remain uncolored. Tear off a few strips of duct tape and wrap them around any spots on the plastic lacrosse head that you'd like to remain uncolored. Remember that the spots you're about to tape are going to remain white when the stick is complete. You can get as creative with this as you like! For example, try cutting star or triangle shapes out of the duct tape and spacing them out along the lacrosse head to give it a creative pattern.[3]
- If you want the numbers or your team name on the lacrosse head to remain undyed, cover them with tape. Or, if you want to dye the head in a striped pattern, alternate taped and non-taped sections along the length of the head.
- On the other hand, if you'd like to dye the entire lacrosse head 1 color—whether or not you're using the marbling technique—you can skip using tape.
[Edit]Soaking the Head in a Dye Bath - Boil water on the stove to warm up the lacrosse head dye. Fill a large metal pot or other heat-proof container with of tap water. Heat the water on your stovetop range until it's boiling. Keep the water on medium-high heat so it maintains a steady, rolling boil throughout the dyeing process. If you plan on using 2 colors of dye, boil 2 large pots of water.[4]
- If you're only using 1 color, you only need to boil 1 large pot of water.
- Select a container that is large and durable enough to withstand the heat of boiling water. An old kitchen pot that the family is no longer using is a good option.
- Pour 1 container of dye into each pot of boiling water. Once the water is at a smooth, rolling boil, open your container(s) of lacrosse-head dye. Dump a full container into each of the pots of water. Stir the dye and water mixture with a wooden spoon to make sure the color is evenly diluted throughout the water.[5]
- If you've dyed lacrosse heads before this, you can experiment with the color dilution a little. For example, if you want 1 of the 2 colors you're using to be lighter than the other, only pour 1/2 of the liquid dye into the pot of boiling water.
- Keep in mind that the spoon you use will probably end up dyed after you stir the dye and water mixture!
- Dip the lacrosse head into the boiling dye mixture for 20-30 seconds. Pick up the lacrosse head with a pair of kitchen tongs so you won't risk burning your fingers. Lower the lacrosse head into the boiling water and dye mixture, and leave it in the water for at least 20 seconds. Lift the head out of the water once the 20-30 seconds have passed, and let it drip dry for about 10 seconds.[6]
- If you'd like the head to have a dark color, leave the head in the dye for longer—try 30 seconds for a very dark hue.
- Don't let the lacrosse head rest against the hot bottom of the pot, or you'll risk melting the head. Grasp the head with the tongs the entire time it's in the dye.
- The dye will not change the color of the webbing spray that you applied earlier, if you chose to create a marbling effect on the head.
[Edit]Applying Marbling Spray - Shake the can of webbing paint spray vigorously before using. Before you spray the paint onto the lacrosse head, give it 15-20 shakes up and down. This will mix the spray paint in the can. If you forget to shake the can, the webbing paint will come out unevenly and may not look very good on the dyed head.[7]
- Since it's almost always black, the webbing paint will not take the color of liquid dye once you dye the lacrosse head.
- Purchase a can of webbing paint spray at any craft or hobby-supply store. It comes in a variety of colors—including black, red, green, and purple—so pick out whichever color you'd like.
- Prop the lacrosse head in front of a sheet of newspaper. You can also set it up on a piece of disposable cardboard if you have cardboard around your home. The webbing spray that you'll use to create the marbling pattern on your lacrosse head can get pretty messy, so cover at least a area. Place the head at the center of the newspaper covering.[8]
- You can use marbling in combination with the duct-tape color blocking, or you can skip those steps and just use the marbling technique. It's up to you; you can be as creative as you like when coloring your lacrosse head!
- Spray webbing paint spray across the lacrosse head. Hold a can of webbing paint spray away from the lacrosse head. Depress the button on top of the can to spray out the paint. It'll come out in an uneven, web-like spray. Move the spray nozzle back and forth so that the spray covers the entirety of the head. Let the webbing paint dry for about 2 hours before you dye it in your liquid dye mixture.[9]
- If you're not sure whether or not the paint is dry, try tapping it with 1-2 fingers. If your fingers come away wet, give the paint another 30 minute to dry.
[Edit]Dyeing the Head a Second Color - Cover new parts of the head with tape if you'd like to preserve the color. If you are dying the head a second color, then you need to leave the tape on the head that you placed on there before to keep the white parts of the stick. Now, before dipping the full head into the second color, add more tape to keep parts of the head the color that you just dyed them. Move from using your darkest color to using your lightest color, so that the second color doesn't overpower the first color.
- For example, say that you're dyeing the first half the head red and the second half of it blue. If you don't want any overlap between the colors—which would give the middle of the head a purple hue—cover the red part closest to the middle with duct tape.
- This will keep the red color intact and prevent the blue from changing the red.
- Dip the head into a second color of dye. If you're dying the lacrosse head more than 1 color, hold the partially-dyed head with your tongs again and dip it into the second color. As before, keep the head in the water for 20-30 seconds to let the dye soak into the plastic. Since you're using a darker color, you may not need to dye the head for much longer than 20 seconds.[10]
- As with the first color, suspend the head over the boiling water for 10-15 seconds once it's dyed to allow excess dye to drip off.
- An easy way to have a 2-colored lacrosse head is to only dip the top half of the lacrosse head in 1 color for 30 seconds. Then, flip the head over and dip its lower half in the second color of dye for another 30 seconds.
- Remove the duct tape stripes or pattern once the head has cooled. Use your fingernails or the point of a knife blade to lift up the edges of the pieces of duct tape that you applied earlier. The patches of plastic under the tape should still be white.[11]
- Keep in mind that you can still dye the lacrosse head 2 colors without using duct tape.
- If you opted not to use any duct tape, you can skip this step.
- Rinse the head off with cool water once it's fully dyed. Once the head is dyed, place it immediately under the tap of the sink under ice-cold water. This will wash off all the remaining dye and will prevent it from bleeding back onto the string. Rinsing the stick with cool water also cures the stick, meaning that the dye will not bleed off of it and onto your hands.[12]
- Instead of rinsing the lacrosse head under the faucet, you could also fill a large baking tray with cold water and submerge the head in the tray for 30 seconds.
[Edit]Things You'll Need - Sponge
- Dish soap
- White, plastic lacrosse head
- RIT liquid dye
- Webbing spray (optional)
- Newspaper
- Duct tape
- Large metal pot
- Wooden spoon
- Tongs
- If you find that the duct tape isn't sticking to the plastic lacrosse head very well, try blowing warm air across the tape with a heat gun or blow dryer. This will strengthen the adhesive and help the tape stick better.[13]
- When dying a goalie head, double the amount of dye that you use. Since a goalie head is much larger than a field-stick head, you'd end up with a lightly-dyed head if you used the same amount of dye as for an ordinary field-stick.
[Edit]References |
