| How to Quiet Your Inner Critic Posted: 08 Aug 2019 05:00 PM PDT Dealing with your inner critic can be really frustrating, and it may even be holding you back from the life you want. Your inner critic is the part of your personality that tells you you're not good enough. While this can sometimes help you improve, it might also keep you stuck in a rut. Fortunately, you can get to the root of your inner critic so that you can change what it's telling you. Then, you can turn your inner critic into an ally. [Edit]Identifying the Root of Your Inner Critic - Write down the limiting beliefs that your inner critic uses. Think about the messages your inner critic uses a lot. This will help you analyze what your inner critic is saying so that you can address the fear and pain behind its comments.[1]
- For instance, you might notice comments like, "I'm never good enough/skinny enough/smart enough," "I'm so stupid," or "I'm going to fail like always."
- Try to remember the person who told you this about yourself. In most cases, your inner critic picks up its harmful messages from people you know or your interpretations of events that happened. This means these thoughts don't come from you! Work on figuring out where you got these thoughts so you can differentiate them from your innate beliefs about yourself. Ask yourself these questions:
- Where did I first hear these words?
- Which people do I associate with these words and feelings?
- What happened that made me feel this way?
- Identify the fears that your inner critic is protecting you from. While your inner critic is hurtful, it's also trying to protect you from pain. Something in your past makes your inner critic fearful that certain experiences will hurt you. Understanding where that pain is coming from may help you overcome it. Look for the possible fears behind your critic's comments to figure out what you're afraid will happen.[2]
- Ask yourself these questions: "What am I afraid will happen if I don't listen to my inner critic?" and "What do I worry will happen if my inner critic stops saying these things to me?"
- Let's say your inner critic tells you, "You're so stupid! You'll never pass an advanced math class!" What are your fears here? You may be afraid of getting yelled at by a parent, you could be afraid of having to repeat the class, or you may be worried about disappointing your teacher.
- Acknowledge your inner critic's positive intentions. While it might seem like a paradox, your inner critic is actually trying to help you. Although it can still hold you back from reaching your full potential, its goal is to keep you safe. Try to recognize its positive intention and the benefits you get from it. This can help soften the blow from its comments.
- Think of ways your inner critic has been helping you. For instance, your inner critic might be trying to get you to study harder so you can make better grades and avoid getting yelled at. Additionally, it may be trying to help you get love from your parents or teachers.
- Use journaling to reflect on what your inner critic says and why. Journaling is an excellent way to track your thoughts and feelings to better understand your inner experience. Give yourself permission to write down all of your thoughts and feelings as they emerge. Then, consider where these feelings come from and why you might be having them. Finally, reflect on what you wrote and try to find an epiphany.[3]
- For instance, write in your journal every morning or in the evening before bed.
- Look for patterns and trends in the ways you react to your circumstances.
- Take note of both the times you engage in self-criticism and the times you're able to silence your inner critic.
[Edit]Confronting Your Inner Critic - Challenge your inner critic with the truth. Your inner critic is operating on fear, not truth, so its perceptions may be off. Additionally, you may have misinterpreted the events in your past. Try to see things from a different angle so you can find the real truth in what happened. Ask yourself these questions:[4]
- Which parts of my inner critic's comments aren't true?
- What is my real truth?
- How would this look to an outsider?
- Label your thoughts as thoughts and not truths. Don't accept everything you think as a fact because they're just perceptions you're making in the moment. Instead, observe your thoughts and ask yourself if they seem truthful or not. This can help you separate fact from fiction when your inner voice is criticizing you.[5]
- For instance, you might think, "I'm not going to try because I'll fail anyway." Counter this with, "When I try my hardest, I'm already a success."
- Talk to a therapist if you're struggling or had a traumatic past. Dealing with an inner critic can be really hard. Additionally, sometimes your past is too traumatic and painful to face on your own. Fortunately, you can work with a therapist to help you recognize your inner critic and what it's trying to say. Then, they'll help you learn to reframe those thoughts.
- Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist or look for one online.
- Your appointments may be covered by your health insurance, so check your benefits before you go.
[Edit]Changing the Your Critic's Message - Reframe your inner critic's comments so they're supportive. Based on what you've learned about your inner critic, look for the neutral or positive truth about what it's saying. Then, rephrase your inner critic's statement with the deepest truth. Let this new statement inspire you to be your best self without the fears that hold you back.
- For example, let's say you catch yourself thinking, "I'm not very smart." You might correct this to "I'm really smart when it comes to my area of interest."
- Similarly, your inner critic might say, "You're too ugly to try out for a lead role in a play." You might counter this with, "Everyone is beautiful in their own way, so I can't be ugly. Plus, I've got a lot of training and experience that makes me a great choice for the role."
- Ask yourself what you'd say to your best friend in this situation. Imagine that your friend comes to you upset and tells you that their inner critic is saying these things to them. Consider what you'd say to comfort your friend. Then, say those things to yourself.[6]
- For instance, let's say your inner critic tells you, "You're a fraud at work, and everyone knows it." If your friend came to you about this, you'd likely say, "That's not true! You've worked so hard to get this job, and you have all of the qualifications. I've met your coworkers and they seem to like you." Try saying these things to yourself.
- It's likely that you're way meaner to yourself than you'd ever be to your best friend. However, you don't deserve this kind of treatment.
- Write a letter to your inner critic to help you overcome it. At the start of your letter, acknowledge that you understand what your inner critic is saying and where that fear came from. Then, offer your inner critic some compassion, like you're consoling a friend. Next, tell your inner critic what's really true and explain how you reframed the situation. Finally, list your strengths to help you feel more confident.
- After you write your letter, it's okay to tear it up or burn it so that no one finds it.
- Focus on your strengths to boost your confidence. Your inner critic typically focuses on your perceived weaknesses. Instead, recognize your strengths and celebrate what's great about you. This can help you boost your confidence and resist your critic's comments. Here are some ways to find your strengths:
- Think of times in your life when you were really proud of something you did. These incidences can be big or small. For instance, you may have helped a friend deal with a hardship or you might have repaired your bike on your own. Consider what these events reveal about you.
- List the nice things people have said about you in the past. What have they complimented you on? What did you do well?
- Send an email to people you trust, asking them to tell you your strengths. Then, look for commonalities between the different responses.
- It will likely take some practice to learn how to deal with your critic. However, it will get easier over time.
- Remember that no one is perfect, so you're going to have some flaws. Don't let this hold you back from living your best life.
- Use your inner critic to help you become your best self. That means that it should encourage you to take action and try new things, not hold you back from doing stuff.
[Edit]Warnings - If you're experiencing depression or anxiety because of your inner critic, talk to a therapist who can help you work through your emotions.
[Edit]References |
| How to Paint a Brick Fireplace Posted: 08 Aug 2019 09:00 AM PDT If your fireplace is looking outdated or you just want to try a different color in the room, painting it is a great option. It's cost-effective, and if you get tired of the color later, you can always paint it a different shade. Start by thoroughly cleaning the brick, then repair and prime it for painting. Last, apply 1-2 layers of latex paint to get the color you want! [Edit]Cleaning the Brick - Move all furniture and knickknacks out of the way. Before you start work on your fireplace, you need to be able to get to it! Move furniture out away from the fireplace and take anything you have on the mantle down.[1]
- You may also want to take the mantle down if it's just a wooden board screwed into the brick.
- Spread out a drop cloth on the floor. Put a drop cloth down below the fireplace, making sure it covers all the floor near the fireplace. Tape it into place with painter's tape so that it doesn't move around while you're trying to paint.[2]
- Remove the ashes from the fireplace. Sweep out the fireplace with a broom and carry the ashes away with your dustpan. It also doesn't hurt to run the broom down the interior of the fireplace, moving from top to bottom. That will help loosen and release any debris on the brick, saving your scrubbing arm later.[3]
- You can also use the hose attachment on your vacuum to suck out any leftover ashes and debris.
- If other parts of the fireplace have dust or spiderwebs, take time to sweep them off, too.
- Scrub the brick down with warm, soapy water. Add of dishwashing soap to of warm water. Stir to incorporate the soap. Dip a wire scrub brush into the mixture, and begin scrubbing the brick down, using a circular scrubbing motion.[4]
- Work your way from top to bottom, as the dirty water may run down the brick.
- Make a paste with cream of tartar to remove stains. In a small bowl, add 2-3 tablespoons (20-30 g) of cream of tartar. Pour in just enough water to make a thick paste. If you add too much water, just dump in a bit more cream of tartar. Dip a brush into the paste, and apply it to the stains. Let it sit for 10-15 minutes before wiping it off with warm water.[5]
- You can also use a baking soda paste instead or a mixture of half white vinegar and half water. However, you'll need to scrub more with these mixtures.
- Use trisodium phosphate to get rid of stubborn soot. If the soot stains still won't come up, mix of trisodium phosphate in of water. Scrub the soot stains down with this mixture using a wire brush, then wipe it off with warm water.[6]
- Put on gloves and safety goggles when using trisodium phosphate. Also, use a dust mask and open windows and doors to ventilate the area.[7]
- Scrub the area with bleach if you see any mildew. Sometimes, brick fireplaces can build up mildew over time. If you notice that on yours, mix 1 part bleach into 3 parts water. Dip a rag into the mixture and rub it over the mildew. Let it sit for 30 minutes.[8]
- When time is up, scrub the area with a wire brush and rinse with warm water.
- Let the area dry for at least a day. Once you've finished your cleaning process, the brick needs to dry out thoroughly. Trying to paint wet brick won't work, as the paint won't adhere properly.[9]
[Edit]Prepping and Priming - Hire a professional to fix structural problems. If the brick is leaning in places or it looks like bricks are loose, you'll probably need outside help to make these repairs. Also, if you have cracks more than thick, you may need to hire a professional, as you likely have a more serious structural problem.[10]
- Fix any cracks you see with acrylic caulk. If you find cracks in the brick, use the tip of a caulking tube to run acrylic caulk from one end of the crack to the other, filling it completely as you go. Try to make an hourglass shape where the caulk along the edges of the crack is thicker than in the middle. That allows the crack to expand over time and not overstretch the caulk.[11]
- Fill the crack from one end to the other in a smooth line. Wet the tip of your gloved finger and use it to smooth out the top of the caulk, pressing down more in the center to help make the hourglass shape.
- Tape off any areas you don't want to be painted. Apply wide painter's tape to any areas you want to avoid painting. For instance, apply it where the fireplace meets the wall. Stretch the tape right along the wall up against the brick. That way, if your paint runs off the brick, it will run over onto the tape, not the wall.[12]
- Use your hands to make sure the tape is stuck down well and to smooth out any bubbles.
- Paint the brick with a latex primer. Pour the paint into a painting tray and coat a roller with paint by rolling it back and forth in the tray. Apply a thin coating to the brick with a "V"-shaped motion, moving from top to bottom. Fill in any areas the rollers can't get to with a paintbrush; you'll also need to dab at nooks and crannies with the paintbrush to get them filled in.[13]
- Let the primer dry completely, which may take up to 24 hours. If you didn't get complete coverage, apply another coat or primer before adding paint.
- If you're painting the interior of your fireplace, make sure to pick a primer intended for high-heat areas.[14]
- If you need to, use a telescoping roller for parts close to the ceiling.[15]
[Edit]Applying the Paint - Pick a heat-resistant latex paint rated for . Latex is best for painting brick, though you can also use paint specifically made for stone or brick. It must be rated to so that it can withstand the heat from the fire.[16]
- You can choose flat matte, gloss, or semi-gloss based on your preferences. Gloss tends to be easier to clean up. However, a flat matte may look better on the brick.
- Pour your paint into a paint tray and apply it with a roller and brush. Run a roller in the paint, coating it evenly. Go over the brick with the roller first using a "V"-shaped motion to coat the wall. Start with the back wall of the interior if you're painting that, and work your way out along the sides to the exterior. Always move from top to bottom. After coating the area with a roller, go over it with a paintbrush to fill in places the roller won't cover. You may need to "dab" at some of the nooks and crannies to get them filled in.[17]
- Turn the lights up to make sure you're getting into every nook and cranny.
- If you'd like, you can use a paint sprayer machine, which you can rent from most home improvement stores. With this machine, you pour the paint into it, and then hold it about from the wall. Move it back and forth over the wall in an even movement, making sure you don't go over the edges of the tape.[18]
- Apply a second and third coat as needed, waiting 24 hours in between. You'll likely need a second coat just to make sure everything gets covered. Paint the area the same way you did the first time. If you still have areas that aren't getting coated, carefully go over those areas with a paintbrush and then use the roller on it one more time.[19]
- Let the paint dry and wash your tools. Wash your paintbrushes and rollers in warm, soapy water; don't let the paint dry on them if you want to use them again. Seal up your paint and put it in storage so you can touch up the areas as needed over the years. Pull up the drop cloth and painter's tape, and your fireplace is done![20]
[Edit]Things You'll Need - Drop cloth
- Wire scrub brush
- Dishwashing soap
- Cream of tartar
- Rags
- Rubber gloves
- Safety goggles
- Bleach, optional
- Painter's tape
- Acrylic caulk
- Gloves
- Latex primer
- Paint roller
- Paintbrush
- Paint tray
- Heat-proof latex paint
- Vinegar or baking soda, optional
- Trisodium phosphate, optional
- Paint sprayer, optional
[Edit]References |
| How to Help During a Natural Disaster Posted: 08 Aug 2019 01:00 AM PDT When a disaster strikes, many people feel compelled to help in some way, but knowing how or where to help can be difficult. There is always a need for assistance, from the time the disaster hits and sometimes for years afterwards. There are many ways that you can get involved by donating your time, money, and energy to help the people and areas that have been affected by a natural disaster. [Edit]Donating Money and Resources - Send money to a reputable national organization for disaster relief. This is the best way to help. Sending money allows the organizations to allocate funds as needed. Some trustworthy organizations to consider donating to include UNICEF, Direct Relief, or Habitat for Humanity.[1] Check the Better Business Bureau or Charity Watch online to find out if the charity you are considering donating to is reputable.[2]
- You may also consider donating money to organizations like ASPCA and the Humane Society to help animals that have been affected.
- See if the organization offers a texting donation line. You may be able to donate by simply sending a quick text to the charity's number. The charge will typically show up on your next wireless bill.
- Find local programs in your area to donate to. Visit the National Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster's (NVOAD) website at https://www.nvoad.org/voad-members/national-members/. This will help you to find reputable local programs in the areas affected by a disaster. NVOAD also specializes in coordinating relief efforts so that efforts aren't duplicated by multiple agencies. This works to ensure that all needs are covered efficiently.[3]
- Organize a fundraiser to raise money. Collect donations by setting up a collection jar at your school, work, or a local restaurant, or simply asking your friends and neighbors. If you have the time, plan another type of fundraiser. Fast and easy ideas include bake sales, lemonade stands, yard sales, or car washes.
- Once you have collected the money, donate it to a national organization or local program.
- Give blood at a local donation center. Your blood donation can literally help save a life, especially during disasters such as earthquakes. Check the American Red Cross website for the specific donation requirements in your area and to schedule an appointment.[4]
- You can donate blood at any time, even before a disaster strikes. Your blood will be held on reserve, and will be immediately available to use when it's needed.
- Donate clothes and household items if you live near an affected area. Search NVOAD online to find local food banks, shelters, and faith-based organizations that are providing relief efforts and to find out what items are being accepted.
- Sometimes even basic necessities, like water bottles, can't be accepted due to logistics like storage space and delivery costs, so it's best to call ahead or check online to find out what's needed.
- The supplies that are needed often depend on the type of disaster. For instance, mops, buckets, and dehumidifiers might be needed during a flood.
- While it may be natural to want to send toys to help comfort children who have been affected, toys are typically not encouraged because they are not considered an immediate need, and also due to other concerns such as storage and distribution.[5]
[Edit]Lending a Helping Hand - Volunteer at a local center if you live near an affected area. Help cook or serve food at a relief kitchen, organize donated items at a church or charity, answer phones for an organization, or deliver food and water.
- If you aren't sure how or where to help, call your local 2-1-1 line. They will be able to provide you with community information as well as ways to get involved.[6]
- Shelter displaced families and animals. There is often an immediate need for shelter, so if you have unoccupied rental property or vacation homes, this would be a great way to help. Or if you live near an affected area and have a room to spare, consider opening up your home to a family in need.
- You can list your home or room on Airbnb for free to host a displaced family.[7]
- Contact an organization like ASPCA or the Humane Society to see how you can help provide support for animals that have been affected.[8]
- Use your skills or trade to help rebuild damaged areas. There is always a great need to repair homes and buildings that have been damaged or destroyed during a disaster. Volunteering your time and energy is a great way to get involved.
- For example, if you know how to do excavation, you can help by clearing and preparing land. If you do any type of construction work, you can use your skills to repair or reconstruct homes and buildings.
- Whether you live in the disaster area or need to travel to the disaster zone, you can help with rebuilding through organizations like Habitat for Humanity. You can also help on your own by contacting your local officials to see where help is needed.[9]
- Even if you are not skilled in a specific trade, you can help with other tasks like removing debris and site cleanup, shoveling, or delivering supplies.
- Contact established organizations to find out exactly what the needs are and how you can best help. Sometimes due to things like logistics, places aren't able to accept physical items. Money or manpower may be more helpful so it can be allocated as needed.
- Always remember, even if you don't have a lot of money to give, every little bit helps.
[Edit]Warnings - Be cautious when you are donating to an unfamiliar organization or individual. Always check the Better Business Bureau or Charity Watch online first.[10]
[Edit]References |
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