How to Deal With Negative People Posted: 28 Apr 2016 05:00 PM PDT Everyone has that friend or coworker who sucks the energy right out of you, complaining about all the different ways the world is set against him or her. Unfortunately, you must deal with many different negative people throughout your life. However, negative thinking can have an effect on your personal well-being,[1] so it's important to avoid it. Fortunately, there are ways to deal with negative people. EditDealing with Negative People in the Moment - Provide support. The first time you encounter someone you know being negative, provide a listening, compassionate ear. Try to help if they need it. Everyone has a bad day or needs a hand with something on occasion. You don't want to make a hasty dismissal of a friend who is simply in need.
- If the person continues to harp on the same negative topics, you feel emotionally exhausted after you socialize with them, and they overwhelmingly use negative words and phrases (I can't, they didn't, I hate, etc.), that's when it's time to try to disarm their negativity.
- Don't engage. It's really easy when confronted with a negative person to get sucked into their spiral of negativity. Choosing not to engage doesn't mean ignoring them, but it does mean maintaining your emotional distance.
- Negative people tend to exaggerate, focus on their negativity, and ignore the positive. Instead of trying to make them see how they're being negative (which usually only leads to confrontation and reinforcement of their ideas that everyone is against them), try giving noncommittal answers that neither encourage or condemn the negativity. "Okay," or "I see," are two examples.
- Use appreciative inquiry. If the person demonstrates negativity on certain events or subjects, you can have a conversation with them using a technique called "appreciative inquiry." Appreciative inquiry is a process of asking questions to help the person envision a more positive future. If they are complaining about a past event, you can ask questions focusing on the positive aspects of their experiences or pose questions about the future.[2]
- These questions might include, "What do you hope would happen next time?" or "What turned out to be positive about that experience?"
- This question should lead to a story about what a brighter future would look like and how to achieve that future.
- Steer the conversation. If appreciative inquiry does not lead to a productive, positive conversation, then gently turn the conversation toward something more innocuous.[3]
- For example, you might say, "I understand that you're upset about your coworker. That must have been hard. So, tell me more about your plans for this weekend." Or, "Wow, that sounds like an ordeal. So, did you see that new documentary?"
- Attempt to disrupt negative ruminations. Rumination (going over the same negative thoughts over and over) only reinforces negativity. It is also associated with higher levels of depression.[4] If the person tends to ruminate, see if you can disrupt this spiral by leading the person to focus on something else.
- While steering the conversation can include leading the person to a happier topic within the same subject, disrupting negative rumination likely means changing the subject entirely. If the person is ruminating over a work interaction, try bringing up his or her favorite TV show, the person's beloved pet, or something else likely to result in a more-positive conversation.
- Help the person see how they might take control of the situation. Negative people tend to blame all external factors rather than themselves. People who blame their problems on outside factors tend to have poorer emotional well-being than those who take a different perspective.[5] Try supporting the negative person in developing a plan for how to handle negative events.[6]
- Venting about a negative situation isn't necessarily an unhealthy response. We often work through problems and develop a course of action to deal with the problem during this phase. Try to help the person channel the negative energy in a constructive way. You can ask, for instance, what the person can do to change an unfavorable situation at work.
- Help the person accept negative events. In addition to talking the person through how to react to a negative event, you can also help the person with ultimately accepting negative events.[7] For example, imagine a friend was reprimanded at work for coming in late. She complains to you at lunch, lamenting the fact that she has to take the bus, complaining that her boss has it out for her, etc. You can try saying several things in this situation, such as:
- "Well, the reprimand has already been filed, and that won't change. You can show your boss that you are committed to being on time from now on."
- "What if you rode your bike to work instead? Then you wouldn't have to rely on the bus being on time, and you could leave your house a little later."
- Set boundaries. When dealing with negative people, set boundaries for how you deal with them. Someone else's negativity is not your responsibility to deal with. If they're bringing you down too much, you need to spend time away from them.
- If the negative person is a work colleague, cut short their negative spiral by telling them you have to get back to work. Do it nicely, otherwise it will feed their negativity further.
- If the negative person is a family member (especially one that you live with), try taking a break from them as much as possible. Go out to a library or nearby coffee shop or simply don't answer the phone every time they call.
EditDealing with Negative People in the Long Term - Identify the negative people. Part of dealing with a negative person in the long term is to pinpoint whether or not they are negative or simply someone who's had a bad day.[8]
- Negative people often become that way as a result of being constantly disappointed and hurt, and the anger that is associated with these circumstances.
- Negative people tend to blame all external factors rather than themselves. Of course, there are those people who are totally negative about themselves, and that can be just as draining for a listener.
- Avoid lecturing or preaching to the person. Long-term friendships or work relationships with negative people can drain your patience just as much as your time and energy, but it's important to avoid lecturing or preaching at the person.[9] Even the most positive among us aren't great at accepting criticism, and a negative person is more likely to see it as evidence that you're also against her or him rather than taking the feedback constructively.
- Even if "getting it off your chest" will help you to vent, it ultimately won't help the situation.[10] If you must vent about the negative person, do it to someone else you trust in your support group besides the negative person.
- Act instead of simply reacting. One way to help both yourself and the person mired in negativity is to do nice things for the negative individual that aren't triggered by a specific situation or conversation. Rejection from other people will always reinforce a negative worldview, so an act of acceptance can make a difference.[11]
- People can naturally take for granted the support they receive when they're already in a negative mindset. Show the person a positive action in his or her direction even when it's not prompted by a negative situation. You may have a larger impact on the person's interactions with you by doing so.
- For example, if you occasionally make excuses for why you can't see the negative person while he or she is ruminating over a negative situation, try instead calling the person up to hang out when they're not in a bad or ruminating mood.
- Send the person reminders of positive things to help with positive refocusing. Remind the person of a fun time you spent together or a funny situation. Give him or her a compliment for something that you thought they did well. It reminds the person that someone is invested in them and helps bring a measure of positivity to the person's day.[12]
- For example, "Good job with that essay. I was really impressed by all the research that you did."
- Do something unexpectedly sweet on occasion. This act can be anything from chores for a day to inviting the person to watch a movie with you or even taking a walk together. This is a good way to affirm positivity to the negative person without turning it into a lecture on their attitude, which few people take well.
- Hang out in groups. Sometimes the best way to deal with a negative person (especially if they are part of your friend circle) is to organize group events so that their negativity is diffused among all the different people.[13] However, you must take care to ensure these situations don't end in the group ganging up on the negative person.
- This step works best when everyone in the group shows the same empathy for the negative person and uses the same strategies to try to help the person overcome the negativity.
- Take responsibility for your own happiness. Being social creatures, human happiness is often dependent on the quality of your relationships with other people. However, you and only you are responsible for your positivity and your happiness.[14]
- Being happy in spite of the circumstances means gaining control over your emotional response rather than over the situation. For example, if you're dealing with a negative friend, you can either allow the friend to drain you of your own positivity, or you can shore yourself up with reminders of positive things before and after dealing with the friend.
- Governing your own emotional response is like working a muscle. You have to practice being in control of your emotions in response to outside situations, such as dealing with a negative person.
- Evaluate the person's role in your life. In the end, sometimes the best way to deal with a negative person is to remove him or her from your life completely. There are times when their negativity brings you down too much to offer you a fulfilling and mutually enjoyable relationship.
- You'll need to examine the pros and cons of removing someone from your life. This might be hard to do if the person is part of a mutual circle of friends. It might even be impossible to do, such as when the person is a coworker or a superior.
- Take an honest inventory regarding what you get from your relationship with the person, and don't rely too heavily on the way the relationship "used to be" if the person has become negative over recent months or years.
- Avoid the person. If you can't get rid of the person entirely, avoiding the person will be your best option. Remember, you have to take care of yourself. You don't owe anyone your time and energy, especially if the person drains you of it with negativity.
- Remember that people have many different reasons for negativity, including insecurity, low self-esteem, an abusive past, frustration in life, low confidence, etc.
- These people may have a hard time seeing the positive side or the positive outcomes of life. Remember these people have to want to change their way of thinking themselves.
- Don't react to negative comments. If you don't give the person the reaction he or she wants, the person will stop because the attention-seeking behavior isn't working.
- You should behave politely, avoid being harsh, and practice patience.
- Someone who is negative all the time may be depressed. If the negativity ever takes the form of conversations about self-harm or harming others, encourage the person to seek professional help.
- Don't let anyone else's negativity turn you into a pessimist. You must remember your responsibility for your own happiness above all.
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How to Get Out of a Lease Posted: 28 Apr 2016 09:00 AM PDT At some point, most people who rent residences have to find a way to get out of a lease. Perhaps you have a new job opportunity in another location. Or perhaps your landlord is a nightmare and your residence isn't what it initially appeared to be. In many cases, you will need to pay a penalty to get out of a lease, but in others you might be able to avoid this penalty. Some ways of getting out of a lease are legal, and some are not. Familiarize yourself with all of your options before taking any action, and never break the law.[1] EditClaiming a Residence as Uninhabitable - Research your local landlord-tenant laws. You cannot be forced to stay in a housing situation that is dangerous or significantly different from what you were guaranteed in your lease. In the United States, each state has laws that outline an implied warranty of habitability. This is implied in any residential lease (not applicable for commercial leases) and requires landlords to provide a minimum standard of safe, sanitary, and livable condition.[2]
- The basic conditions required by law are generally similar. Usually, the residence must have a safe electrical system, drinkable water, locks, operational sewer system, a system to deal with removal of trash, and a smoke detector. The residence should not have an infestation of pests such as bugs or rodents.
- Specific regulations may vary by state. Check out Nolo's database of state landlord-tenant laws for information in your state.[3] A brief version of state habitability statutes is available via Landlord.com.[4]
- Inspect your residence and its surroundings. To determine whether your landlord is violating the warranty of habitability, inspect your residence and the surrounding area. In an apartment building, the landlord is responsible for shared public areas as well as individual residences. Look for conditions that are dangerous to life, health, or safety such as broken stairs or railings, poor lighting, or evidence of criminal activity. These may breach the warranty of habitability.
- You cannot have been responsible for causing these issues. For example, if your window is broken because you threw a baseball through it and you haven't paid to have it fixed, that situation does not violate the warranty of habitability.
- Are there broken windows or doors? Are there exposed, sharp edges on woodwork or glass?
- Does it contain an unabated lead hazard or other toxic materials?[5]
- Are vital facilities -- e.g., toilets, heat, electricity, water, refrigerator -- operational?[6]
- Do pests keep returning, no matter how clean you keep your residence?
- Are there noxious odors in the air from sewage leaks?
- You can also look for issues outside of your residence. Is the parking lot/area being neglected? If there are gates, are they maintained? Is the building substantially different from what you were shown before you signed a lease?
- Give your landlord opportunities to fix these issues. You must give your landlord a fair chance to remedy the problems. You cannot simply abandon your residence and cite these issues later. If your landlord does not fix the issues within a reasonable time, you have just cause to terminate your lease.[7][8]
- To prove that your landlord did not respond to the habitability issues in a reasonable time, you must be prepared to show that the landlord had knowledge of the defect or necessary repairs and failed to act.
- Give written notice of the defects to your landlord when you discover them. Send a copy by certified mail and request a return receipt so that you can prove your landlord received your complaint. Keep a copy of all communication for your records. Take photographs of the defects when possible. These records may help you prove landlord neglect later.[9]
- Landlords may also be subject to "constructive notice" of the need for repair. This means that the landlord should or could have known about an obvious problem through regular maintenance or visits to the property.
- Set a reasonable deadline to fix the issues. What constitutes a "reasonable time" varies by situation and by state. For example, if you notify a landlord in the summer that the furnace does not work, it is not reasonable to give him or her 24 hours to comply because not having the furnace does not present a serious threat to habitability at that point. However, if you make the same complaint in the middle of winter, you would be justified in expecting an immediate repair.[10]
- State a specific deadline in your notice, and make it clear that if the landlord does not complete the repairs to your satisfaction by the date given, you will abandon your lease.
- Make sure that the date you give your landlord gives him or her enough time to actually fix the condition. For example, you should not send your letter on a Monday stating that all repairs must be made by Tuesday. Many states require you to allow at least 1-2 weeks for repairs to be made.[11]
- Understand that if you abandon your lease too quickly you can be taken to court. Do not abandon your lease until you have given your landlord the chance to fix issues.
- Have your home inspected. If your landlord refuses or delays making necessary repairs, consider having your city's housing inspector inspect your residence. The inspector can give an objective account of issues with the property and may be more effective at convincing your landlord to act.[12]
- Remember that the warranty of habitability applies to serious problems only. A serious problem is one that creates severe discomfort or danger to the resident.[13]
- For example, not having heat in the winter or running water are examples of serious problems. A paint color you're not happy with is not a serious problem.
- If your residence is significantly different than what you were promised when you signed your lease, you may be able to claim a violation of the habitability warrant. For example, if you were shown an apartment with a working stove and refrigerator and your apartment had neither when you moved in, that is a significant breach that impacts your ability to live in the residence.
- Slight variations do not qualify for this warranty. For example, if you were shown a unit with beige walls and were rented a unit with brown walls, this is a nuisance, but not a dangerous condition.
EditWorking with Your Landlord - Assign your lease. Assigning is very similar to subleasing, but subleasing is only temporary and usually for a short period of time. With subleases, the original tenant is intended to return to the residence.[14] When you assign your lease, you permanently sign over your residence to another tenant. Landlords may prefer a lease assignment over a sublet.[15][16]
- Advertise your listing and come up with a handful of names for your landlord. This way, your landlord can choose the best candidate to live on his or her property.
- Both you and the assignee are responsible for the terms and conditions of the lease. You can request your landlord to release you from these responsibilities in writing. Make sure that you, the new tenant, and your landlord all sign a document stating that the new tenant is now responsible for paying rent, and that you are released from any obligation under the lease.
- If you do not sign an agreement with the new tenant, they could leave the residence and you would still be obligated to pay the rent that was left unpaid, as well as cover any damages.
- If your landlord knowingly accepts rent from the assignee, s/he is generally required to honor a lease assignment even if s/he did not give permission for it.
- If your landlord will not allow a new tenant to completely wipe out your obligation to pay if the new tenant does not pay, make sure that you sign a separate agreement with the new tenant. Although you would still be responsible to your landlord for any unpaid rent, you could sue the new tenant for the unpaid rent.
- Work with your landlord on an agreement. You may be surprised that your landlord is willing to work with you and help you. Before burning bridges, it's best to try an honest, straight-forward conversation. Especially if you live in an area with a lot of demand for rentals, your landlord may be willing to just let you off the hook. It never hurts to ask!
- Explain your situation. For example, if you have gotten a new job or your family is growing, your landlord may be sympathetic to your new situation and agree to let you out of the lease.
- Offer to pay the next one or two months' rent to help their cash flow. This allows him or her more time to find a renter, or to renovate the residence so they can increase their earnings.
- Additionally, for a fee (usually one month's rent) many landlords will help you find someone to assign your lease for the rest of the lease term.
- If you don't know your landlord, that's not a good sign. If requests for information are met with refusal or silence, consider ending your lease based on their lack of responsiveness and clarity.
- Get any agreement in writing, preferably notarized. Oral agreements are very hard to prove in court, should anything go wrong.[17]
- Help your landlord find a new tenant. Most landlords hesitate to let someone out of a lease because they feel they will lose money while searching for a new tenant. You can lessen their hesitation by helping find a tenant to replace you when you move out.
- Remind your landlord that they have a duty to re-rent. In most states, landlords have an obligation to "mitigate damages" when a lease is broken. This includes a responsibility for them to re-rent a residence if you leave a lease early.[18]
- For example, if you want to get out of a lease that has five months left on it, your landlord cannot simply let the property sit empty for those five months and then sue you for back rent. S/he must take reasonable steps to re-rent the residence.[19]
- If your landlord has to rent the residence for a lower price than your rent, you will likely be responsible for paying the difference. If it takes a few weeks for the landlord to find a new tenant, you will likely be required to pay prorated rent for those weeks.[20]
- If you can find another tenant to rent the residence, your landlord may be happy to let you leave.
- Look for a buyout clause. A buyout clause is a section of your lease that allows you to legally end your lease (usually for a certain amount of money and with adequate notification). Carefully read your lease to see what options you have.[21]
- If you cannot find your lease, your landlord is required to give you a copy upon request.
- Other wording for this type of clause includes "early termination" or "early release."[22]
- Use caution when taking this route.–It may end up costing you a lot of money in the end.
- Contact an attorney. If your landlord will not work with you reasonably, try finding an attorney who will review the contract for you before you agree to a buyout clause. S/he may be able to find legal issues with the contract or with the residence that will allow legal contract termination.
- Also keep in mind that landlords who wish to avoid a court case may negotiate with an attorney more seriously than with their tenant.
EditTerminating a Lease with a Loophole - Check your lease for ambiguities or discrepancies. If anything in your lease contract is unclear, you may be able to use that to your advantage. Read and reread your lease for any instances of poor clarity. Also look for terms in the contract that may not be legally enforceable.[23]
- For example, if your lease agreement says that your security deposit is non-refundable unless you continue the lease for a certain number of months, this is illegal. Security deposits must be returnable.[24]
- Determine whether your landlord is fulfilling all terms of the lease. Violations of habitability and safety can allow you to break a lease. However, there are also other common terms in a lease that may allow you to find a way out if the landlord isn't fulfilling them.[25]
- For example, many leases have "quiet enjoyment" or similar clause. This requires the landlord to ensure that no tenants are disruptive. If you're constantly bothered by your neighbor's loud parties and you have notified your landlord and your landlord has not taken action to remedy the situation, you may have grounds to break your lease.[26]
- Another common term that might be violated pertains to service animals. Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, a landlord cannot enforce a "no pets" policy on tenants who require a service or therapy animal. If your landlord has tried to force you to get rid of a necessary service animal, you may have grounds to terminate the lease.[27]
- Find other loopholes. Many landlords rely on boilerplate lease forms. However, because lease laws vary by state, your lease could be invalid when your landlord has used a form with language that isn't legal in your state.[28]
- It can be difficult to find these loopholes if you're not an attorney. Consider hiring a tenancy attorney or having a tenancy advocate review your lease. Even if the consultation costs a few hundred dollars, it could be worth it if you find a way to legally get out of your lease.
EditUsing Other Legal Justifications - Determine if your residence is an illegal unit. Sometimes, landlords rent out residences that are not legally recognized by the local municipality.[29] Illegal residences are more common than you might think. Research state and city regulations in your area. You can generally contact government agencies such as Building and Safety or Housing agencies, to help you determine whether your residence is illegal.
- For example, some portions of a town or city are only zoned for single family residences. If you are living in a house that has been converted into a multi-unit apartment, the lease may be invalid.[30]
- If you are renting a residence in an area that is only zoned for commercial use, your lease may be invalid.[31]
- In some cases, landlords will rent illegal residences without the proper permits. For example, if your landlord is renting out a garage or guest house without a permit, this rental may be illegal.[32]
- Determine whether your lease is actually a monthly rental agreement. A lease sets fixed terms and conditions for a set period of time. A rental agreement usually does not set an endpoint and is a month-to-month agreement.[33] If your landlord represented a monthly rental agreement as a lease, you may be able to terminate the agreement.
- If your agreement stipulates that you will rent the residence for a set period of time, such as one year or 24 months, you probably have a lease. Leases usually cannot be violated or abandoned without penalty.[34][35]
- A monthly rental agreement can generally be changed with written notice. This means that, monthly tenancy agreements can usually be ended on short notice. In most states, all you must do is provide the landlord a 30 day notice of your intent to leave.[36] Check your state for its regulations.[37]
- Research your landlord. If your landlord or property manager is not who they claim to be, you may have an automatic way out of your lease.
- For example, your landlord could be a master tenant who is subleasing you their residence without notifying the owner or property manager. Leases are usually invalid in this case.[38]
- In some cases, the name on the management agreement and lease may not match. If this is the case, you may be able to claim that you do not have a legal relationship with one of the entities.[39]
- In some cases, the company that is managing your property may not legally exist.
- Use circumstances beyond your control to your benefit. Some situations that arise may give you a legal basis to terminate your lease. Some of these, such as being called to military duty, are regulated by federal law. Most are up to individual states to determine. The following are a few reasons why you might be able to terminate your lease without a penalty:
- Getting called to active military duty.The Service members Civil Relief Act (SCRA) allows military service members who are called for active duty for more than 90 days may terminate a lease. Military service members entering active duty for the first time are also eligible to terminate a lease early.[40]
- You must deliver written notice of your termination and a copy of your military orders to your landlord.
- The termination date for a lease that requires monthly rent is 30 days after the next time rent is due. For example, if the next rental due date is December 1, the effective termination date is February 1.
- Domestic violence within the place of residence. In many states, a survivor of domestic violence may terminate a lease with 30 days notice.[41]
- You may be required to provide proof of this violence, such as a police report or court protective order.
- Serious injury and hospitalization. In some states, serious illness, injury, hospitalization, or the necessity of moving to an assisted-living facility will provide grounds to get out of a lease.[42]
- Declaring bankruptcy.
- Investigate a Force Majeure clause. Many leases have a Force Majeure clause, which translates loosely to "act of God." These clauses allow for the tenant and/or landlord to suspend or terminate a lease if certain circumstances beyond their control occur.[43]
- For example, natural disasters, terrorism, and civil unrest may all be possible reasons to invoke a Force Majeure clause.
- Take advantage of civil codes. Outside of the basic laws pertaining to habitability, most states have extensive civil codes that explain the kinds of basic accommodations that landlords should be prepared to provide. They also govern what landlords may and may not do.[44]
- For example, a civil code may tie a lease to a job on the premises, such as groundskeeper or manager. If you quit the job, you may not be required to maintain the lease.[45]
- Civil codes require the enforcement of the sections of lease agreements that deal with general repairs. If your lease requires the landlord to provide and maintain a refrigerator, for example, you can vacate the apartment if they fail to do so.[46][47]
- As long as the apartment is habitable, you cannot vacate your lease without first taking your landlord to court. Additionally, you must continue paying rent until you have a court order stating that you can terminate your lease.
- If your landlord makes weak or no effort to respond to your demands, you can take him or her to court for breach of contract. However, make sure that any demands you make of your landlord have a basis in your lease agreement. You cannot make frivolous demands.
EditSample Letters - Be sure to always pay your landlord on time while you are still under the terms of the lease agreement. Good behavior may be rewarded.
- Be aware that an implied warranty of habitability cannot be waived. Even if your lease provides for "as-is" conditions or waives the landlord's responsibilities for maintenance, such a lease will not hold up in court.
- Talk with your landlord or property manager openly and honestly about your need to get out of your lease.
- Each state in the US is different. Know the laws in your state before you jump to any conclusions.
- Do not stop paying your rent even if your landlord is in the wrong. Withholding rent is illegal in most circumstances, and navigating when those circumstances apply usually requires a property lawyer.
- Do not exacerbate the problem with delinquent behavior. Becoming a "bad" tenant in the hopes that your landlord will kick you out will only make your problems worse. You could also be responsible for the damages.
- Keep all of your actions legal. Do not do anything that seems even legally questionable. Your landlord may have a basis to sue you if you do not remain above board.
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How to Soothe Sore Eyes Posted: 28 Apr 2016 01:00 AM PDT There are many things that can cause sore eyes, but one of the most common causes is over-use, or eye strain. You can strain your eyes by working in a room with poor lighting, driving for long periods of time, not wearing glasses if you need them, or staring too long at one place (like a computer screen).[1] Sore eyes can also be caused by headaches, glaucoma, foreign bodies in the eye, sinus infections, and inflammations. If your eyes are sore after a long day, there are some things you can do at home to help soothe those sore eyes. EditRelieving Eye Strain - Use eye drops. Using eye drops or artificial tears can help moisturize dry eyes, which may relieve eye soreness. You can use plain saline (salt water that matches the salt in tears) or medicated eye drops. Follow the manufacturer's instructions.
- Don't become dependent on eye drops. If you use eye drops frequently, make sure they do not have medication or preservatives in them. Overusing medicated eye drops can actually aggravate eye problems.[2]
- Use a warm compress. Using a warm compress can help relax the muscles around your eye, which may relieve eye strain and that twitchy feeling tired eyes get. You can use dry or moist warmth, depending on what feels best for you. If you wear glasses or contacts, remove them before using any compress.[3]
- For a dry compress, fill a clean sock with uncooked rice or beans and knot the sock to keep it closed. Microwave the sock for about 30 seconds, or until it's warm but not too hot. Apply the compress to your eye.
- For a moist compress, wet a clean washcloth or several paper towels with warm (almost, but not quite, hot) water. Lay the cloth across your eyes. You can apply gentle pressure with your palm if you want, but don't press too hard. Leave the compress on until it cools.
- Use your palm as a compress. Using your palms to apply gentle pressure to your eye area can help reduce eye strain and relieve pain. If you wear them, remove your glasses or contacts before using your palms as a compress.
- Cross your hands with your palms facing you.
- Gently press the palms of your hands against your eyes.
- Continue for 30 seconds, then relax. Repeat as often as necessary to reduce soreness.
- Use herbal tea bag compresses. Some herbs, such as chamomile, goldenseal, eyebright, calendula, and Oregon grape/barberry, have anti-inflammatory properties that may help soothe your eyes.[4] While there is no scientific evidence to suggest that a tea bag is more effective than another warm compress, you may find the herbal aroma relaxing.[5]
- Place two tea bags in a mug and pour boiling water over them. Allow the tea to steep for about five minutes, or until the water is still warm but not hot.
- Squeeze excess liquid from the tea bags and place one over each eye. Lean your head back and relax. Once the tea bags have cooled, remove them. You can repeat this as often as you want.
- If you can't find tea bags, you can cut the toes off a nylon knee-high stocking, pour the dried herb into the toe, tie it off, and use it as a tea bag.
- Roll your eyes. It's every teenager's favorite weapon, but the eye-roll can also help relieve eye strain. Close your eyes and focus on breathing deeply while you perform the following motions:
- Roll your eyes clockwise. Then roll them counter-clockwise. This full movement is one complete eye-roll.
- Repeat the eye-roll 20 times. Start off slowly and get a bit faster each time.
- Do this 2-4 times a day to help relieve and prevent eye strain.
- Take frequent "eye breaks." Give your eyes a break several times a day by following the 20-20-20 rule: every 20 minutes, take a break and look at something at least 20 feet away from you for at least 20 seconds.[6] Focusing on your computer screen for long periods of time without taking breaks can cause sore eyes, headaches, and even muscle pain.
- Try to stand up, move around, and shake yourself out every hour or so. This will help refresh you and keep your eyes from getting strained in the first place.
- Relax. Anxiety, stress, and muscle tension can cause eye strain and soreness. Take a few deep breaths, shake out your limbs, and roll your head around. Get up and take a quick walk. Do some stretches. You can also use progressive muscle relaxation on your eyes to help relieve soreness and strain.[7]
- Find a quiet, comfortable place away from distractions, if possible. Breathe deeply and evenly.
- Clench your eyelids as tightly as possible. Hold this tension for ten seconds, then relax. Open your eyes.
- Raise your eyebrows as far as you can. You should feel like you're opening your eyes as wide as they'll go. Hold this position for ten seconds, then relax.
- Repeat these two exercises throughout the day as needed.
EditPreventing Eye Soreness - Keep your eyes moist. Long hours in front of a computer screen can actually reduce the number of times you blink, which dries your eyes out. Make an effort to blink frequently to keep your eyes moist. If you're still having trouble, artificial tears may help.[8]
- If you use artificial tears that contain preservatives, do not use them more than 4 times a day. Using these tears too often can actually make your eye problems worse! If your artificial tears don't contain preservatives, you can use them as often as you need.
- Using a humidifier can also help your eyes stay moist and refreshed.
- Drink plenty of water. Not drinking enough water can make your eyes feel dry, itchy, and sore. If you're dehydrated, you won't be able to produce enough tears to keep your eyes moisturized. If you're a man, drink at least 13 cups (3 liters) of water a day. If you're a woman, drink at least 9 cups (2.2 liters) per day.[9]
- Wash off makeup. Makeup can clog the oil glands in your skin and cause irritation and even infection. Take extra care to remove all eye makeup, such as mascara and eyeshadow.
- You can use baby shampoo or specially formulated eye makeup remover. The most important thing is to make sure you remove all your makeup every day.
- Choose non-allergenic eye makeup. This may take a bit of trial and error, as even brands marked "hypo-allergenic" may irritate your own eyes. Try small amounts of different eye makeup made for sensitive eyes to see whether you can find one that works best for you.
- If you continue to have trouble with makeup, talk to your dermatologist. S/he may be able to recommend makeup that won't irritate your eyes.
- Use an eyelid scrub. If you have dry, red, or itchy eyes, you may find that an eyelid scrub helps. You can use baby shampoo or a mild, non-irritating, sulfate-free shampoo to give your eyelids a good scrub.[10] Doing this can help the natural oils on your skin flow freely and provide better lubrication to your eyes.[11]
- Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water.
- Mix equal parts baby shampoo and warm water in a small bowl.
- Use a clean washcloth (a different one for each eye) to rub the solution gently across your eyelashes and the edge of your eyelid.
- Rinse with clean, warm water.
- Use the scrub twice a day.
- Keep the light behind you. When you're reading, light reflecting off the page or screen can cause glare, which may cause eye soreness. Position your lamp or light source behind you, or use a shaded lamp.[12]
- Practice good workstation habits. Setting up an ergonomically correct workstation can help prevent you from getting sore eyes. Slouching over a computer desk can cause not only eye strain, but also muscle aches and fatigue.[13]
- Sit at least 20-26 inches away from your computer monitor. Keep the monitor at a comfortable level so you don't have to slump down or stare up to see it.
- Reduce glare. Use a glare filter over your screen and change the lighting in your office, it possible. Old-fashioned fluorescent lights that flicker can cause eye strain and headaches. Newer compact fluorescent (CFL) bulbs don't have these effects.[14]
- Avoid smoke and other environmental irritants. If your eyes frequently get red, itchy, teary, or tired, you might be reacting to something in your environment. Common irritants include cigarette smoke, smog, and pet dander.[15]
- If you get thick or green discharge from your eyes, see a doctor immediately. This might be a symptom of bacterial conjunctivitis, or "pinkeye."[16]
- Relax. Feeling stressed or anxious can make your eyes hurt. Using relaxation techniques for even a few minutes throughout the day can help your eyes stay refreshed.[17]
- Place your elbows on your workstation. With your palms facing up, allow your head to fall into your hands. Close your eyes and cover them with your hands. Inhale deeply through your nose, allowing your stomach to fill with air. Hold this breath for 4 seconds and then slowly exhale. Repeat for 15-30 seconds several times a day.
- Massage your face. Gently massaging the muscles around your eyes can help prevent soreness. Use your fingertips to make light circular motions on your upper eyelid for 10 seconds. Next, make light circular motions on your lower eyelid for 10 seconds. This massage can help stimulate your tear glands and relax your muscles.[18]
- Use light pressure on your face. Gently tapping on your face can help reduce eye strain and keep your eyes from feeling sore and tired. Tap your forehead gently about one inch above your eyebrows. Then, tap gently on the point where your eyebrow arches. Press gently right between your eyebrows. Next, tap your inner eyebrow, then your outer eyebrow. Finally, pinch the bridge of your nose.[19]
- Wear preventive glasses. If you stare at a computer screen for many hours a day, wearing preventive glasses may help reduce eye strain. Some glasses that have been developed to help prevent your eyes from getting dry and sore. Look for amber-tinted lenses that can help neutralize harsh screen glare.
- Gunnar Optiks has a range of glasses designed specifically for heavy-duty gamers. Their specially shaped lenses may help keep your eyes from feeling strained and drying out. The amber lenses can reduce glare.[20]
- Make changes to your screens. We're surrounded by screens: computers, tablets, phones, TVs...all of these produce glare that can wear on your eyes. You may not be able to just ditch your screens, but there are some things you can do to keep them from hurting your eyes.[21]
- Reduce blue light. Blue light can cause glare and may even cause eye damage if you're exposed to it too much.[22] Use a blue light filter on your tablet and cellphone, and reduce the backlight option on your TV. You can also purchase anti-reflective (AR) or anti-glare lenses for your glasses, which can help reduce the effects of blue light.
- Purchase an anti-glare filter for your computer screen and TV. You can also turn down the contrast on your computer monitor.
- Clean your screens frequently. Dust, smears, and smudges can create glare, which will cause eye strain.[23]
EditSeeking Professional Help - Check for foreign bodies in your eye. If your eye is sore because you have dirt, metal, grit, or other foreign stuff in your eye, you may need to see a doctor. If you have an object embedded in your eye, see a doctor immediately. You can take the following steps to try to get rid of small particles, but if you don't feel better immediately, get medical help.[24]
- Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water.
- Remove any contact lenses.
- Use clean (preferably distilled) warm water or eyewash to flush your eye. You can use a special eye cup (bought at a drugstore or pharmacy) or a small drinking glass. A medicine dropper filled with clean, warm water may also help flush out small particles.
- If you still have pain, redness, or irritation in your eye after you remove the foreign object, seek immediate medical attention.
- Determine whether you have an eye emergency. In addition to having foreign bodies lodged in your eye, there are also other symptoms that should prompt you to get immediate medical attention. These symptoms may be the signs of serious diseases or medical issues:[25]
- Temporary blindness or blind spots that appear suddenly
- Double vision or "halos" (bright circles that surround an object)
- Blacking out
- Sudden blurred vision with eye pain
- Redness and swelling near the eyes
- Determine whether you have glaucoma symptoms. Glaucoma is actually a group of eye diseases that can damage your optic nerves. Regular checkups with an eye doctor are the best way to prevent and detect glaucoma. However, if you have eye soreness with the following symptoms you should schedule a visit with your eye doctor as soon as possible:[26]
- Trouble adjusting to changes in lighting, especially dark rooms
- Trouble focusing on objects
- Light sensitivity (squinting, blinking, irritation)
- Red, crusty, or swollen eyes
- Double, blurred, or distorted vision
- Watery eyes that don't stop watering
- Itchy, burning, or excessively dry eyes
- Seeing "ghosts", spots, or lines in your vision
- Determine whether you have pink eye. Pink eye, or conjunctivitis, can be highly contagious if it's caused by a virus. While you can treat many cases of pink eye at home, if you develop certain symptoms, you should see an eye doctor or visit the emergency room immediately:[27]
- Green or yellowish discharge or "crust"
- High fever (over 102F), chills, shaking, pain, or loss of vision
- Severe eye pain
- Blurred or double vision or "halos"
- If your pink eye symptoms don't improve within two weeks, you should see a doctor even if the symptoms are mild.
- Know when to seek help. Even if you don't have an eye emergency, you should definitely still see a doctor if your at-home eye care doesn't relieve your pain. If your eye soreness is due to pink eye, you may need to let it run its course, but you should see a doctor if it's not better after two weeks. If you have other symptoms and don't feel better after a day or two of any at-home eye treatment, make an appointment with your physician or eye care specialist as soon as possible.[28]
- Talk with your doctor. Keep track of your symptoms, if you can, so that you can give your doctor as much information as possible. Thinking about the following questions can help your doctor give you the care you need:[29]
- Have you had any problems with your vision, such as blurring, halos, blind spots, or trouble adjusting to light?
- Are you experiencing pain? If so, when is it worst?
- Do you get dizzy?
- When did your symptoms start? Did they happen suddenly or gradually?
- How often do you experience these symptoms? Is it all the time, or do they come and go?
- When is the pain worse? Does anything make it better?
- If you wear makeup, remove it without rubbing your eyes. Use light, gentle movements when removing eye makeup.
- Make sure your eyewear prescription is up to date. Incorrect prescriptions are a common cause of sore eyes.
- Clean your glasses and/or contact lenses frequently. This will help prevent glare and irritation.
- Protect your eyes from the sun and harsh light. Wear sunglasses or lenses with UV protection. If you're near construction zones or any area with high levels of particles in the air, wear protective glasses or goggles.
- All you may need to do is take off your glasses or remove your contacts and relax to get some relief.
- Be careful not to scratch your eyes. This could cause irritation or infection.
- Don't insert anything (tweezers, cotton swabs, etc.) into the eye! You could cause severe damage.
- If you continue to experience discomfort for more than a day or two, or if your vision is affected, or if you have nausea/vomiting or a persistent headache, see an eye specialist as soon as possible.
- If you use medicated eye drops, check with a pharmacist to make sure any medications you're currently taking will not be affected by the eye drops.
- Don't use black or green tea for compresses. These teas contain high levels of tannins, which may damage delicate eyelid tissue.
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