| How to Stop Being Self Centered Posted: 19 Jun 2021 05:00 PM PDT If you're worried about being a self-centered person, that concern shows you've already taken an important step towards change. Change can be tough, though, so if you need more guidance on this journey, we can help. We've put together a useful list of simple things you can try that can help you focus less on yourself and more on the needs of others. Even small changes in your daily life can make a big impact! [Edit]Focus on listening instead of talking. - Give others your full attention and really hear them out. Self-centered people often steer conversations to revolve around themselves and they tend to get bored when the focus isn't on them. If this sounds familiar, you can break that habit! Give others a chance to speak their minds and do your best to show that you're really listening. Putting away distractions, nodding, and asking questions are great ways to practice more active listening.[1]
- For example, if your friend is telling you about a pet emergency they had over the weekend, put your phone away and pay attention. Nod along and ask a follow-up question like, "I hope Tucker is healing quickly! Is he still at the pet hospital or did you already bring him home?"
- If you start getting bored, gently remind yourself that other people's lives and thoughts are just as important as your own.[2]
[Edit]Put yourself in someone else's shoes. - Imagining yourself in their situation helps you understand them better. If a friend is telling you about something that happened to them and you just don't feel engaged, it can help to imagine how you'd feel in their situation. Try asking yourself how you'd feel and what you'd need if you were them. Then, keep those things in mind when you respond to your friend.[3]
- For example, if your coworker tearfully tells you that their sister passed away over the weekend, you might find it hard to relate since your own sister is alive and well. To understand your coworker's emotions better, imagine how you'd feel if your own sister died. Then, say something like, "Sally, I'm so sorry. I'm close to my sister and I can only imagine how hard this must be for you."
[Edit]Use fewer "I" and "me" statements. - Fight the urge to talk about yourself in every conversation. It's an easy habit to slip into, but you can't focus on anyone else if you're always talking about yourself. Try to actively reduce the number of "I" and "me" statements you make in daily conversation. Studies show that talking about yourself less often can make you happier and healthier, so try reminding yourself of that when the going gets tough.[4]
- For example, try asking other people how they're doing rather than launching into a wordy description about how you're doing.
- Instead of telling your partner about your day as soon as they walk in the door, ask them about their day first.
[Edit]Learn how to compromise. - Self-centered people want everything to go their way all the time. Compromising means choosing to believe another person's needs and desires are just as important as your own. Instead of demanding your way during a disagreement comes, try meeting the other person halfway so that each person gets some of their needs met.[5]
- For example, if your partner wants to go on vacation but you feel strongly that it isn't in your budget, a nice compromise would be planning a short day-trip or doing something cheap, like hiking or hitting a nearby beach.[6]
- Be sure to tell the other person you appreciate their willingness to meet you halfway. For example, you might say, "I really appreciate that you agreed to go hiking this weekend; it means a lot and I think we're going to have a blast!"
[Edit]Share the spotlight. - Praising others more often doesn't diminish your own light. It feels good to take credit for things, especially when you work hard for them. If you notice yourself basking in the limelight a little too often, though, try devoting energy to praising someone else's achievements. If other people helped you achieve something, don't take all the credit! Be willing to share center stage with them.[7]
- For example, if your boss compliments a project you submitted, don't forget to mention the hard work your team put in, too.
- Praising others helps you feel connected to them and makes it easier to turn your focus outward.[8]
[Edit]Let someone else be in charge. - Do you always feel like you need to make your voice heard? Try taking a back seat for a change. Let someone else lead the group when you're collaborating on a project. Instead of speaking for everyone in the room during a meeting, let someone else speak their mind. Try to relax and let go of the need to be in charge of everything.[9]
- If you're out with friends and the group is debating where to eat dinner, let someone else pick. Focus on having fun instead!
- Making your voice heard is important, too, but try to pick your battles. If there are other constructive solutions on the table, you don't always have to add yours.
[Edit]Celebrate the success of others. - Be excited for them without inserting or comparing yourself. If you're having a hard time being happy for a friend who just got an awesome promotion, it's probably because you made the situation about you somehow. Don't worry, this is a mental habit that you can definitely break.[10]
- For example, maybe you couldn't help but automatically think about how much you hate your own job. Try to refocus on your friend's success, congratulate them, and do your best to take yourself out of the equation.
[Edit]Practice gratitude. - Challenge yourself to say "thank you" more often. If you don't feel thankful for the good things in your life, that usually means you feel entitled to them. Unfortunately, this is a pretty self-centered way to look at the world. Instead, try looking for any excuse to show others that you're grateful for them. Showing gratitude can help you feel more connected to others and motivate you to continue your journey of self-improvement.[11]
- You don't have to make grand gestures to show gratitude. For example, say "thank you" when you get off the bus or make eye contact and say "thanks" when your waiter refills your water glass.
- If you want to get into the habit of gratitude, try making gratitude lists on a daily or weekly basis. Strive to list 5 things that you're grateful for on every list.
[Edit]Spend more time with friends and family. - Studies show that loneliness can make you self-centered. Just being around other people can help you turn your focus outward rather than inward. If you've been feeling lonely for a while, though, it can be tough to be more social. If you can, try to force yourself out of your social comfort zone.[12]
- Joining a group, signing up for a class, and saying "yes" to invitations more often are great ways to start!
- It's normal to become self-centered as a response to loneliness. Unfortunately, being self-centered can make you isolate yourself more, which then makes you more self-absorbed. It can become an endless cycle.
- Helping others forces you to look outside of yourself. Doing volunteer work is an easy way to bring the needs of others to the forefront of your mind. Not only does selflessly giving your time and energy benefit other people, but it helps you, too! You'll feel healthier, happier, and more connected to your community.[13]
- For example, you could volunteer at a homeless shelter or local soup kitchen.
[Edit]Get a pet. - A pet can help you learn how to put others' needs before your own. If you struggle with commitment and understanding the needs of others, a pet can help you work on those things. Consider heading down to the local animal shelter and adopting a pet that needs a good home. Your new pet will be completely dependent on you, so be sure to get one that makes sense for your lifestyle.[14]
- For example, if you travel a lot, a fish, turtle, or hamster will probably require less time and attention than a dog.
- If you love going for long walks by yourself, a dog might make a great companion for you.
- If you want a fun, affectionate pet that you don't have to train or teach commands to, a kitten might be a good choice.
[Edit]See a therapist if you're still struggling. - Self-centeredness can be a symptom of depression or anxiety. If you're having trouble getting rid of your self-centered behavior, don't assume that you're a bad person or give up on yourself. Self-centeredness is sometimes a by-product of a deeper issue, like depression or anxiety. A therapist can help you understand what's going on and provide much-needed support.[15]
- Feeling compassion for yourself doesn't make you selfish! It's important to take care of your mental and emotional well-being.[16]
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| How to Kill Fleas With Dawn Dishsoap Posted: 19 Jun 2021 09:00 AM PDT Fleas are pests that can multiply quickly if they're not treated properly. However, since the price tag for store-bought flea treatments is a bit high, you can use Dawn dish soap to get rid of them. The best way to do this is to give your pet a bath with the dish soap. Alternatively, if you have a pet who hates baths, you can also use a spray bottle and dish soap to kill fleas cheaply and easily. [Edit]Giving Your Pet a Bath - Fill the bathtub with lukewarm water around . This temperature will be warm enough to keep your pet comfortable without shocking it. Fill the bathtub so that the water only comes up to around your pet's stomach.[1]
- For example, if the bottom of your pet's belly is about off the ground, then you should fill the tub with about of water.
- If you're washing a smaller animal, such as a ferret, fill a large bucket with lukewarm water instead of a bathtub.
- Soak your pet in the bath so that all of its fur is wet. Avoid getting any water in your pet's eyes or ears, since it may irritate them. Make sure all of the fur is completely soaked through before proceeding.[2]
- This is especially important for pets with thick fur, since it will take more water for them to get completely soaked.
- Apply the soap to your pet's fur until it's completely lathered. The amount of soap you use will depend on how large your pet is, as well as how badly it's infested with fleas. Start with a small quantity of dish soap (e.g., around ) and add additional dish soap as needed. Start applying the soap at the neck and work your way down towards the tail.[3]
- Avoid getting any of the soap in your pet's eyes or ears.
- Be gentle while scrubbing, but make sure you scrub deeply enough to get to the skin where the fleas will hide. If the pet cries, you're scrubbing too roughly.
- If your pet's coat is particularly thick, try using a pet brush to get the soap deep down into its fur.
- Wait 5 minutes, then rinse all of the soap off of your pet's fur. Allow about 5 minutes for the dish soap to completely kill the fleas before you begin rinsing. Use a cup of water or a handheld shower head to wash the soap off. Start from the top of your pet's body and work your way down towards the tail.[4]
- For best results, use a flea comb to brush your pet's fur as you rinse off the soap to make sure you're removing as many fleas as possible.
- You may need to spray a lot of water in a single area in order to completely rinse off all of the dish soap.
- Be very cautious when washing around the eyes. If contact with the eyes occurs, rinse them with cool water and dry them with a towel.
- Empty the bathtub and dry off your pet with a towel when you're done. Once you stop seeing live fleas in your pet's fur, drain the water out of the tub. Gently rub your pet with a towel until it's completely dry.[5]
- You can also use a hair dryer on low heat to dry your pet, although it's much safer to simply use a towel.
- To be extra safe, run a flea comb over your pet's fur once they're completely dry to check for any fleas you may have missed during the bath.
- A cat will likely be very tense from this experience and will probably run away from you immediately. Be careful as you dry it off to avoid getting scratched.
- Repeat this process if you still see fleas on your pet. Some fleas may have escaped your initial washing or simply survived exposure to the dish soap. Keep in mind that fleas will run to the head and face to hide. This means you will probably have to add a tiny drop of detergent to your pet's head on your second washing.[6]
- You may need to wash your pet 1 or 2 extra times, depending on the severity of their flea infestation.
- If you notice more fleas within a couple of days after bathing, simply repeat the process every couple of days, then use a flea medication to finish them off. You can either give your pet a flea collar or apply a topical flea solution like Frontline Plus to your furry friend.
- To make sure your home is completely rid of fleas, vacuum your flooring and upholstery frequently (at least once a day) to kill any fleas and flea eggs that survived your pet's bath.
[Edit]Using a Spray Bottle - Fill a spray bottle with lukewarm water around . This temperature will help keep your pet from being shocked or scalded by the water. If you don't have a thermometer, aim to use water that is around room temperature to keep your pet as comfortable as possible.[7]
- This method is particularly useful for cats, rabbits, or any other animals that generally don't like being given baths.
- If you don't have a spray bottle, you can also simply mix warm water with some dish soap and use a flea comb dipped in this mixture to keep your pet's fleas. However, this won't be as effective as using a spray bottle to apply the mix.
- Hold your pet down and use the spray bottle to get its fur wet. You can either wrap your pet in a towel to keep it from moving or gently hold it down by its neck. Be very gentle when holding your pet down; remember that this might be very stressful for them![8]
- Make sure your pet's fur is completely soaked through before moving on to the next step.
- Be sure to avoid getting water in your pet's eyes or ears, since this will irritate them.
- Rub the dish soap into your pet's fur until it's completely lathered. Use around of dish soap to begin with and add more as needed. Start applying the soap at the neck and work your way down towards the tail. Make sure to rub the soap deep enough into the fur so that it reaches your pet's skin.[9]
- Fleas typically live and lay their eggs close to an animal's skin, so it's important that you make sure the dish soap reaches all the way down to your pet's skin to kill all of the fleas.
- If your pet has really thick fur, you may need to apply a bit more dish soap to make sure you're reaching down to the skin.
- Wait 5 minutes, then use the spray bottle to wash the soap off your pet. Start from the top of your pet's body and work your way down toward the tail. For best results, use a flea comb to brush your furry friend's hair as you rinse off the soap to make sure you're removing as many fleas as possible.[10]
- Note that you may need to spray a lot of water on a single area in order to get all the soap off.
- Dry off your pet with a towel and carefully release it from your grasp. Your pet may be especially tense after this process, especially if it's a cat. It may even run away from you after you release it. Be careful as you release your pet to avoid being scratched or otherwise injured.[11]
- Don't take this behavior personally; your furry friend will be back to normal soon, especially when the food gets put out!
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