| How to Get Along with Friends Posted: 29 Sep 2021 05:00 PM PDT Movies and TV shows would have you believe that friendships just fall into place effortlessly, without much conflict. In real life, though, friendship takes a lot of work and can be complicated sometimes! By building a strong foundation for your friendship and working to reduce conflict, maintaining your relationships with friends will become a whole lot easier. [Edit]Be positive. - Focusing on the upside makes you a better friend. Complaints, drama, or regular talks about hopeless-sounding situations can wear your friends thin after a while. If you're someone who likes discussing emotional subjects, that's okay, but remember to strike a balance and talk about more cheerful or lighthearted topics, too. Discussing something as simple as books or video games, or sharing funny or uplifting stories, is better for your friendships (and everyone's moods).[1]
- For example, if you're wrapping up a discussion about a bleak news article, change subjects with something like, "On a more lighthearted note, have you listened to the latest episode of that podcast yet? I really liked it."
- Of course, if something bad happens, it's okay to lean on your friends for support. You're not expected to be positive all the time.[2]
[Edit]Show sincerity. - Your friends don't need you to be someone you're not. Whether you're getting to know each other or are being asked for your feedback, being honest and authentic with your friends will strengthen your bond with them. It's a lot easier to get along with friends if you're comfortable sharing your real thoughts and personality.[3]
- If your friend asks for your opinion on some of their artwork, for instance, don't pretend it's perfect to avoid hurting their feelings. Instead, give them genuine feedback: "It might need some more contrast, because the colors fade together. Otherwise, it looks good, and I actually really like it."
[Edit]Display interest in your friends. - Your friends want to feel like you care about their lives. When you don't know what to talk about, it can be tempting to talk about yourself—but if you only talk about yourself, your friends might get annoyed. Making an effort to learn about your friends shows them that you want to know about who they are, and helps you build a better relationship with them. Ask them questions about their lives and interests—it will go a long way![4]
- "You seem really fascinated with programming. Do you have a favorite language?"
- "I had no idea you're an activist. What got you into the movement?"
- "Hold up, you were chased by a giraffe once?! What happened?"
[Edit]Listen to them. - Listening is just as important as showing interest. It'll help you learn about your friends and support them when they need it. Give your friend your full attention, and make mental notes about the important things in their lives—like the names of their loved ones, things they like, and major things that have happened (or are happening) in their lives.[5]
- If your friend shares something that they're struggling with or are annoyed about, don't immediately share your experiences or advice. Instead, ask them, "How are you feeling about it?" or, "What do you plan to do about that?"[6]
[Edit]Support your friends. - Your friends go through highs and lows, too. Part of getting along with your friends is supporting them when they need it. Offer a listening ear if they're struggling, celebrate their achievements, and encourage them if they're nervous or trying to reach a goal.[7]
- For instance, if your friend tearfully tells you that they just broke up with their long-term partner, say, "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you're feeling right now, but I can tell you're really hurting. Do you want to talk about it?"
- Pay attention to your friends' moods. If they seem "off" or upset, they may appreciate being asked, "Is something on your mind?" or "Are you doing okay?" (And on the flip side, if they seem excited, they might like being asked about their good mood.)
- If you've been invited to an event of theirs, like a birthday party, try to show up. You'll show that you care and want to celebrate and support them.[8]
[Edit]Show that you're trustworthy. - Your friends want to know that they can trust you. It can be tempting to gossip, share your friend's secrets, or talk badly about them to someone else—especially if you're frustrated with them. But this will only show your friend that they can't trust you with anything personal, and make them doubt your friendship. Resist the urge to tell others all the dirty details about your friends, even out of frustration.[9]
- Let's say you got into a huge argument with your friend, and another friend asks why you're in a bad mood. Instead of ranting about how rude or insensitive your friend is, just say, "I had a fight with Sam."
- Or, let's say your friend came out to you and asked you to keep it secret. If someone else asks you about your friend's identity, tell them, "I don't know, but even if I did, it wouldn't be my place to tell you."
[Edit]Make time for each other. - Reaching out and connecting makes your friendship stronger. Spending time with your friends has a huge impact, whether it's for a few minutes or for several hours. Schedule fun activities with your friends, or just find time to talk for a while.[10] You don't need to have big outings; it can be something as simple as catching up while carpooling, or sending a link to something you think they'd like.[11]
- If you can't easily see your friends in-person, try texting each other or having video calls. It certainly doesn't replace an in-person hangout, but it's a good way to keep in touch.[12]
[Edit]Respect your differences. - You and your friends don't need to agree on everything. You're your own individual people, and have different interests, opinions, and personal beliefs. Don't make it your goal to change your friend's mind on something—it's okay to have friends with different beliefs. Instead, pay attention to your similarities and focus on enjoying your time together.[13]
- Let's say you're an extrovert who loves parties, but your friend is introverted and hates parties. Rather than dragging your friend out to parties or trying to convince them that they're missing out, find a way to spend time together that both of you can enjoy, like hanging out at home. (You can always attend parties with someone else.)
- If there's a topic that tends to provoke fights, it's okay to agree to disagree, or not discuss the topic. Say, "I can tell we're both really passionate about this. I really value our friendship, so let's agree to disagree and move on."
[Edit]Calmly discuss problems one-on-one. - Talking directly to your friend is the best way to solve an issue. If your friend is doing something that's bothering you, it doesn't help to drop hints, give them the silent treatment, or leave them out. Instead, talk to them one-on-one about what's bothering you, and calmly share how you feel about it using "I" statements. Make your goal to find a solution together, without unkind behavior.[14]
- For example, if your friend has given you an embarrassing nickname, pull them aside and say, "I know you're trying to be funny, but when you call me that, I get really embarrassed. Please don't call me that."
- Don't make vague accusations or say "always" or "never". Something like "Could you please quit copying me all the time?" can put them on the defensive. Instead, be clear about the problem: "I don't like when you write similar stories to mine. It feels like you're plagiarizing my work, and I want to see what kind of ideas you have, too."[15]
[Edit]Be empathetic. - It helps to show understanding and care. Whether your friend has come to you with a problem, or you're having a conflict over something, you'll get along better if you can see something through their perspective. Judging them or downplaying how they feel can make them feel hurt or angry, so avoid statements like, "You actually believe that?" or, "You're making a huge deal out of nothing." Show that you understand how they're feeling, rather than disapproval or judgement towards their words or actions.[16]
- Let's say your friend is a fairly smart person, but admits to you that they were scammed. Instead of asking how they didn't see it was a scam, say, "Scammers are awful—I'm sorry. They can be really clever sometimes."
- Showing empathy doesn't mean agreeing with your friend. As an example, if your friend was caught cheating on a test, you can validate their feelings without validating their actions: "They're calling you in to discuss it? That's pretty nerve-wracking. I'd be anxious, too."
[Edit]Accept your friends as-is. - Every friend will have their own oddities and behaviors. While it's important to solve friendship problems, sometimes a "problem" is so minor that it's not worth starting a possible conflict over it—like if they're always five minutes late. Plus, trying to change how your friend acts can be tiring for you both. Accepting your friend's "good sides" and "bad sides" will make it easier to get along.[17]
- For instance, if your friend tends to blurt out strange (but ultimately harmless) comments, you don't need to ask them to stop. It's just part of who they are.
- This doesn't mean tolerating your friends' behavior; it's okay to set limits if you need to, or to end a toxic friendship. But you don't need to make your friendship perfect, either.
- Mutual interest is important. If your friend doesn't seem interested in hanging out or listening to you and never responds to your texts (and you know they're spending time with others), it may be better to seek out other friendships.[18]
- Nobody "clicks" with everyone straight away. That's normal, and it doesn't mean you struggle with friendships or are bad with other people.
[Edit]References |
| How to Make Fish Curry Posted: 29 Sep 2021 09:00 AM PDT Fish curry is a popular Indian dish that features a combination of spicy, sweet, and savory flavors. You can make a quick and easy fish curry using a pre-made curry paste, or use a food processor to blend your own ingredients into a paste. Try making this delicious dish for dinner tonight! [Edit]Ingredients [Edit]Quick and Easy Fish Curry - 1 tbsp (15 mL) vegetable oil, such as canola, coconut, or olive oil
- 1 medium-sized onion, peeled and chopped
- 1 clove of garlic, peeled and minced
- 1 to 2 tbsp (15 to 30g) of curry paste
- One can of diced tomatoes
- of vegetable broth
- of white fish, such as haddock, flounder, or cod
[Edit]Indian Fish Curry from Scratch - 2 tsp (10 mL) Dijon mustard
- 1 tsp (2.1 g) of black pepper
- 1/2 tsp of salt
- 2 tbsp (30 mL) of canola oil
- Four fillets of white fish, such as haddock, flounder, or cod
- 1 to 2 medium-sized onions, chopped
- 4 cloves of garlic, minced
- 1 piece of ginger root, minced
- 5 cashew halves or 2 tbsp of dried coconut
- 1 tbsp (15 mL) of canola oil
- 2 tsp (4.2 g) of cayenne pepper
- 1/2 tsp (1 g) of ground turmeric
- 1 tsp (2.1 g) of ground cumin
- 1 tsp (2.1 g) of ground coriander
- 1/2 tsp (1 g) of fennel seeds (optional)
- 1 tsp (5 g) of salt
- 1 tsp (5 g) of sugar
- of chopped tomato
- of vegetable broth
- ¼ cup chopped fresh cilantro
[Edit]Making a Quick and Easy Fish Curry - Sauté the onion and garlic over medium heat for 5 minutes. Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat for 2 to 3 minutes. Then, add the chopped onion and minced garlic to the pan. Stir the onion and garlic every 2 minutes while they cook.[1]
- The onion will look translucent when it is done.
- Stir in the curry paste, tomatoes, and vegetable broth. Add 1 to 2 tbsp (15 to 30g) of curry paste, depending on how spicy you want your curry to be. Then, add a can of diced tomatoes with the juice and of vegetable broth. Use a metal or wooden spoon to mix the ingredients together.[2]
- If you do not have vegetable broth, use water and ½ tsp of salt.[3]
- Cook the sauce on medium-high heat while you prepare the fish. This should only take about 5 minutes, but it is okay if it takes you a little longer. Just watch the sauce and stir it every few minutes.[4]
- Turn the heat down to medium or low-medium if you need more than 10 minutes to prepare the fish.
- Cut the fish into chunks and add them to the sauce. Use a sharp knife and a cutting board to cut the fish. Large chunks will give the stew a hearty appearance and texture, but you may cut the pieces smaller if desired.[5]
- You may use fresh or frozen fish, but make sure that the fish is defrosted before you add it to the sauce.
- Cover and cook the curry for 5 more minutes on medium-high heat. Use a wooden or metal spoon to stir the curry about once every 3 minutes and watch it closely. The curry is done when the fish flakes easily with a fork.[6]
- Serve the curry with rice and naan bread, or enjoy it on its own!
[Edit]Cooking an Indian Fish Curry from Scratch - Marinate the fish fillets in mustard, oil, salt and pepper for 30 minutes. Stir to combine the 2 tsp (10 mL) of Dijon mustard, 1 tsp of black pepper, 1/2 tsp of salt, and 2 tbsp (30 mL) of canola oil in a large bowl. Then, place the fish fillets in the bowl and coat them with the mixture on all sides. Cover the bowl and put it in the refrigerator for 30 minutes.[7]
- Set a timer to remind you when the fish has marinated for the full 30 minutes.
- Puree the onion, garlic, ginger, and cashews or coconut. Place the ingredients in a food processor. Blend the ingredients until they form a paste. Stop the machine and scrape down the sides with a spatula if the ingredients get stuck to the sides.[8]
- You can also add 1 tbsp (15 mL) of water to get things moving if the ingredients are not blending well.
- Preheat your oven to . At this point, turn on your oven and set it to . This way it will be hot when you are ready to bake the fish curry.[9]
- It will take about 10 to 15 minutes for your oven to reach this temperature.
- Sauté the paste in oil for about 2 minutes. Heat a large skillet with 1 tbsp (15 mL) of canola oil for about 2 minutes on medium-high heat. Add the paste to the skillet when it is hot and cook for about 2 minutes. Stir it a few times while it cooks.[10]
- Be careful not to let the paste burn in the pan! Watch it closely and turn down the heat to medium if needed.
- Add the spices, salt, and sugar and cook for 5 more minutes. Measure and add 2 tsp (4.2 g) of cayenne pepper, 1/2 tsp (1 g) of ground turmeric, 1 tsp (2.1 g) of ground cumin, 1 tsp (2.1 g) of ground coriander, 1/2 tsp (1 g) of fennel seeds (optional), 1 tsp (5 g) of salt, and 1 tsp (5 g) of sugar to the pan. Stir the spices and sugar in with the paste and cook them for 5 more minutes.[11]
- Use a metal or wooden spoon.
- Stir in the tomatoes and vegetable broth and turn off the heat. Next, pour of chopped tomato and of vegetable broth into the pan. Stir to combine all of the ingredients. Then, turn off the heat.[12]
- Don't worry that the sauce is not hot! It will heat up in the oven.
- Arrange the fish fillets in a baking dish and pour the sauce over them. Spray the dish with non-stick cooking spray to prevent the fish from sticking. Then, place the fillets into the dish so that they are spaced out evenly. Pour the sauce over the fish fillets.[13]
- Use a spatula to scrape the pan if any of the sauce is stuck to it.
- Bake the fish uncovered at for 30 minutes. The dish is done when the fish flakes easily with a fork. Set a timer for 30 minutes and place the dish on the center rack of your oven. Remove the dish from the oven when the time is up.[14]
- Make sure to wear oven mitts when you remove the fish curry from the oven and place the dish on a potholder or trivet.
- Serve the curry with rice and naan bread. Let the curry rest for about 10 minutes before enjoying. Then, serve it over a bed of rice, with a slice of naan bread, or with both![15]
[Edit]Things You'll Need [Edit]Quick and Easy Fish Curry - Large skillet
- Knife
- Cutting board
[Edit]Indian Fish Curry from Scratch - Large skillet
- Knife
- Cutting board
- Non-stick cooking spray
- baking pan
[Edit]References [Edit]Quick Summary |
| How to Start a Community Discord Server Posted: 29 Sep 2021 01:00 AM PDT A community Discord server (sometimes referred to as a guild) is a public server on a particular topic. It is used by wikis, video games, companies, subreddits, and other communities to allow for communication about the topic. This wikiHow will show you how to start a community Discord server. [Edit]Creating the Server - Choose a topic or community. Duplicate servers are unneeded as they introduce competition and easily separate discussion. It is best to choose a unique topic or community for your server.
- For example, if someone has already created a server on "wikiHow", and you were going to create a server on that, you might narrow the server to "wikiHow editors".
- Create a Discord server. To do so, click on the "+", then choose the template you would like to use. It is best to create a server from scratch or to use the template "Gaming" or "Local Community" depending on what the server is about.
- Select "for a club or community" from the next screen. This will set a few default community settings, such as requiring a verified email address to chat.
- Enter a name and upload an icon for the server. This will allow you to customize the brand of your server. You will have to use a static image to begin with, but eventually, you will be able to use animated icons and emoji as more people boost it.
- Enable community features. Because you are starting a community server, you will need to enable community features to get certain perks, like announcement channels or discoverability. To do so, open server settings, select "Enable community", then choose "Get started" and follow the wizard.
[Edit]Setting Up Roles - Go to server settings. This is accessible by selecting the dropdown underneath the server title.
- Click on "Roles". Here, you can add, manage, and delete roles.
- Click on . This will create your first role.
- Enter the name of the role. This is how it will be displayed to all community members.
- Select a role color. Moderator roles and other roles for community trust should be colored and/or displayed separately in the list of members. This will allow other users to find and contact them more quickly.
- Decide whether everyone can mention the role. This is only useful for moderator and/or group roles as it allows for them to be notified when there is an ongoing issue that needs to be fixed.
- Configure the permissions for the role. It may be best to start at the top and work your way down. The order in which roles appear determines the hierarchy for the maximum level role a user can affect. Select the "Permissions" tab to do that.
- There are numerous permissions that can allow the role to manage the Discord server, from deleting posts to kicking users to being the priority speaker in voice chat.
- The most powerful permission to give is "administrator" as that will give the role the ability to manage all server settings. Only give the roles with this permission to other server managers.
[Edit]Starting Channels - Create a category. To do so, right-click on the sidebar and choose "Create category". Categories are a great way to organize channels and manage permissions.
- Manage permissions for the category. This will affect all channels in that category, except those that are not syncing with that category. To do so, right-click, choose "Edit category", then choose "Permissions". Managing permissions for categories is similar to managing role permissions.
- "Private category" will make all channels in that category private and only visible to certain roles.
- Select the "+" in the left column to add a role to manage permissions with.
- In a role's category permissions, selecting ❌ will deny the role that permission, selecting the / will use default permissions, and selecting ✔ will grant the role that permission.
- Create a channel. To do so, click on the "+" under the appropriate category. This will open a dialogue box prompting you for the type of channel. You can create a voice channel, text channel, or announcement channel, and you can make it private.
- Manage permissions for the channel. This will affect the specific channel. This will break permissions sync with a category. To do so, right-click, choose "Edit channel", then choose "Permissions". Managing permissions for channels is similar to managing role permissions.
- "Private channel" will make the channel in that category private and only visible to certain roles.
- Select the "+" in the left column to add a role to manage permissions with.
- In a role's channel permissions, selecting ❌ will deny the role that permission, selecting the / will use default permissions, and selecting ✔ will grant the role that permission.
- Create a moderator-only channel. Use the same process as above, but choose "Private channel". Upon creation, make sure that only your moderators can access the channel.
- Create a rules channel. This channel is where you will post the rules for your server. Make the channel read-only so that only your moderators can post to the channel.
- Create an AFK channel. This channel is where inactive voice participants will be moved to after some time. Once in the AFK channel, they will be unable to speak and must rejoin the appropriate voice channel.
- Assign the appropriate channels in community "Overview". This is in server settings. Select the "Rules or Guidelines channel" to the rules channel and the "Community updates" channel to your moderator-only channel.
[Edit]Applying Finishing Touches - Invite bots to your server. Bots are programs that perform automated tasks on the server. Some will even moderate the server when you are away. A few popular bots include MEE6 and Dyno.
- To invite a bot, visit the website for the bot, then click on "Invite", then accept the app's permissions after logging in.
- Add custom emoji to your server. Custom emoji can lighten the tone a bit or allow community members to give more suited reactions. Upload your emoji under "Emoji" in server settings, then clicking . They also must be under 256kb in size.
- Generate an invite link. You can either generate a server widget by using the "Widget" function in the server's settings or by clicking on "Invite people" under the server menu.
- You probably want your link to never expire, as those are only good for inviting your friends.
- If you only get a small number of people to join, don't fret. Some communities are very small, but that does not mean you cannot have a community server.
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